My Life
by Maeniel
Summary: AU. I'm just your typical college student. Nothing special. Boring even. But you never know... sometimes something interesting will happen. After all... it's my life. Ch. 35: Life continues.
1. The test

Disclaimer: I own diddly squat.

Notes: Okay, so this is yet another 'Fitz writes a short story' thing. It's a little different though, being that it's all in first person—wait, I've done that too. *Shrug* This will run like a series of short, mostly unrelated episodes. Some will be really short, like this chapter, while others may span for pages. Let me know if you like this sort of thing.

Warnings: Any of these? Not in this chapter. Methinks this will be a 'classic coupling' fic. Probably. Most likely. Yeah. Rating for later chapters.

Onward with…

My Life

            The first question on a test is always the hardest. It's usually up in the corner in a place you frequently forget to check. Sometimes there's a line for your answer, and sometimes there's not. It depends on the professor. Your entire score can rest on that single question. If you answer it correctly, you pass, if not, you get a zero. And so, I have nearly failed my history exam. Then, I remember and go back to that first question, so cleverly not labeled.

            _Name._

            You laugh, but I have turned things in without my name on them. In college, the professor won't go out of his way to figure out whose paper it is. And so, I squeaked by with a C- in Biology. I should have gotten at least a B.

            I quickly scrawl my name across the top of the test--

            _Kenshin Himura_

            --and I'm done. Thank god. I turn in my test and leave.

^_^

Notes: Okay, I realize that was extraordinarily short. It's a plot device, you know, that test thing. It's called: Introduce the main character. *snicker* I've done that—turn stuff in without a name. Ouchie, but it can hurt your grade if you don't get it straightened out quickly!

Oh! Tell me if I should continue! I will anyway! *grin* I just like this silly thing. Next installment: What Kenshin thinks of one of his fellow students.


	2. Kaoru

Disclaimer: What do you _mean _my name's not Kenshin? Then everything I've written so far has been a _lie?!_ *Gasp* No, seriously. I don't own anything affiliated with Rurouni Kenshin.

Notes: Wow, I got a lot of complaints about how short the first chapter was. Sorry, but it was just an intro, and sometimes they're short. This one's longer.

Warnings: Fitz attempting to write in first person in the past tense. I have discovered it is remarkably easy to jump from past to present tense when writing like this. If anyone sees any mistakes, let me know. I'll see what I can do to fix them. Constructive criticism, as always, is greatly appreciated.

My Life

            I didn't like her at first. She was pushy and loud and too smart for her own good. Okay, so I was intimidated by her.

            She greeted me first. I was just the quiet kid who sat as close to the door as possible. I was not shy. No, I was perfectly confident, able to speak in front of people and interact with others well enough. It had never been my style to be the center of attention, I suppose. I was content to sit on the sidelines and let others do the talking. A person got into less trouble that way.

            Apparently, in creative writing, this is not a good trait. Kaoru told me this.

            "Kenshin," she said, this big smile on her face, "if you don't speak, you'll never be spoken to."

            Wow. Very deep and insightful. I told her as much, and she just rolled her eyes and smacked me upside the head. I think I can safely say that I did not make a good first impression. Of course, neither did she. We had known each other for maybe three minutes, and she whacked me! I labeled her a conceited brat.

            Being that we were in the same discussion group, Kaoru and I had to get over our mutual distasted for each other. Again, she made the effort. Call me selfish, but I was fine with letting the relationship stay where it was. That is to say, we irritated each other. Fine enough. After the English class was over, we would likely never see each other again. So why make the effort? Kaoru did not agree with me.

            She took me to lunch. Sort of. We paid for our own meals, and McDonald's was not the greatest place if you wanted a decent atmosphere. It was with screeching children running around us that we attempted to come to a truce.

            "Why do you hate me so much, Kenshin?" she asked me. I can recall her confused expression, as if it had never occurred to her that someone in this world might not like her.

            "I don't hate you, Kaoru." As if I could come right out and say that if I did. I'm a little cold, but I'm not mean. She still looked confused, so I swallowed my fries and explained myself. "I don't appreciate people trying to make me do something I don't want to do."

            "Talk to people?" she shot right back at me.

            "Talk to loud, overly cheerful people with no respect for others' personal space." Quite honestly, I had let my mouth run away with me. I must have turned four different shades of red before Kaoru started laughing. I had just insulted her, and she laughed! My embarrassment turned to shock.

            "You know, Kenshin," Kaoru told me. "You're just an antisocial snob yourself. So we're even."

            I stared at her. A strange, reflexive laugh bubbled out of me, and I had to choke that down before it could build up to anything. I excused myself and left the little fast food place. I walked back to the dorm in thirty-eight degree weather. It was miserable walking through the rain and wind that mile and a half, but I made it.

            At the dorm that night, I told Sano what Kaoru had said. He laughed and patted my head like I was a little kid. I'm sure I glared at him, but I don't really recall. I remember quite clearly what he said, though.

            "What're you so upset about, Kenshin?" Sano laughed some more as he walked away from me. "It's not like she was lying."

            That floored me. Antisocial? Me? A _snob?_ Pfft!

^_^

            Kaoru always managed to sneak up on me. Well, that was not entirely true. I had excellent hearing, so I could always tell when she was coming. However, she _was_ very good at startling me. She did it again one Halloween afternoon.

            I was sitting in my spot at the table, minding my own business, when something strange feeling clipped over my head. Naturally, I jumped, turning to see who was touching me, my hands immediately jumping to investigate that pressure just behind my ears. Kaoru was grinning at me from behind a pair of pink hippie glasses.

            "Happy Halloween, Kenshin," she giggled. "We decided we were all going to dress up."

            I looked around when she said that, and sure enough, the entire class had gone all out. There were fourteen of us, everyone--myself excluded--was decked out in various costumes. As I already mentioned, Kaoru was a hippie. She had on flashy bellbottoms, a tie-dye tee shirt and a matching ribbon over her forehead. It was... cute. All she needed were some drugs to carry around with her, and she could have passed for the real thing.

            "We knew you wouldn't dress up, so we brought you something to wear," Kaoru informed me cheerily. "Hold still."

            "What?" that was all that made it past my lips before she came at me with some sort of pencil. "Hey!"

            "Just a sec!" Kaoru laughed at my skittish response and caught my chin, holding my face still. I felt her drawing on my cheeks, and I wrinkled my nose in distaste. She just grinned and finished whatever she was doing. "There! Now put this on..."

            I don't know how they managed it, but between Kaoru and the other twelve students of the creative writing class, they got me into that costume. It consisted of a black shirt--which I was already wearing--a pair of black pants (which I would have given my right arm to find out how they knew what size to get), that black eyebrow pencil, a pair of cat ears, and a black tail tied to the back of my pants. They adjusted my long hair so that it did not interfere with the headband and pronounced me ready to face the day.

            Feeling utterly ridiculous, I stared at my reflection in the hand held mirror one girl pulled from her purse. Along with the tail and ears, Kaoru had drawn whiskers across my cheeks and colored the tip of my nose black.

            "I knew he'd be able to pull it off!" another student laughed. Her name was Misao. She was even worse than Kaoru when it came to energy and noise. But she had her eye on Aoshi, and she never bothered me. At the moment, she was dressed in extraordinarily tight, leather pants and a midriff shirt that scooped so low that, if she had been particularly well-endowed, she would have been spilling out. As it was, she was not. She winked at me and purred loudly, the vaguely erotic sound making half of the students blush and/or laugh.

            "You've got to wear this all day, Kenshin," Kaoru ordered, as if she could enforce this. "Got it?"

            "Yeah, sure," I agreed carelessly.

            "Because you're going Halloweening with us," Kaoru finished.

            "Halloweening?"

            I was not keen on the idea. I had stuff to do. You know, that homework that was due the following Friday, my laundry, and I think there was a new episode of Simpsons on that I intended to watch. _Halloweening_... whatever that was... did not fall into that list of things to do. I opened my mouth, preparing to give every excuse in the book for why I could not go.

^_^

            There was a Halloween party at the Armory that night. The main hall was decked out in orange and black crepe paper, and most of the lights were out. Electric candles lined the doors, and there was candy corn in huge bowls on folding tables near the walls. There was a DJ and loud music playing, and some student council members greeted us at the door.

            "Come on, Kenshin!" Kaoru grabbed my hand and pulled me out to the dance floor where a dozen other students were already jumping around to the music. Where Kaoru got off thinking I would want to dance was beyond me. First off, I hated dancing. I just was not good at it. Second, Kaoru was not on my list of people I was happy with at the moment. She had dressed me up like a kitty, dragged me out to a party I did not care to attend, and generally had made me feel very foolish.

            So there I was, the boy in a cat costume, standing next to a hippie girl who was bopping about like there was no tomorrow. She grinned and motioned for me to join her. It did look kind of fun. I stared at her for a few seconds, uncertain about the whole situation.

            I walked off the dance floor. Kaoru was calling my name as I went, but I kept walking. I just could not bring myself to do it. I stopped by the snack table and picked up some candy corn and a can of Sprite before moving to sit on the floor by the wall. Other people were already sitting there, so I did not feel like a complete outcast.

            The night had been embarrassing, to put it mildly. Already, Kaoru and her friends had taken me with them when they went to Taco Bell--all in costume--and then trick-or-treating. It's bad enough being the guy with long hair and somewhat girlish looks. I've learned to deal with that. However, when someone sticks said girly-boy into a cat costume, things get uncomfortable. I was mistaken for a girl more times than I care to count that night. Some guy at Taco Bell started hitting on me, which everyone else found immensely amusing.

            Oh yeah. I was having the time of my life. Honestly, I wanted to retreat to my dorm room and not leave until the world had forgotten I existed.

            I saw Kaoru coming long before she sat next to me. She slid down the wall beside me, and I looked down at my Sprite. If she wanted to chastise me for being the spoilsport of the party, then I did not want to hear it. If she was planning to offer advice, I didn't care to hear that either. I just wanted to leave.

            Kaoru surprised me again.

            "You really don't like this, do you?" she asked solemnly.

            I did not respond to that. The answer was too obvious.

            "Do you want me to leave you alone, Kenshin?" she asked then. That startled me, but I just blinked and looked at her uneasily. She stared straight ahead, not really focusing on anything, just not looking at me. "Is that what you would like?"

            I was not sure what to say. She was offering me an escape, I thought.

            "You look miserable," she continued. "I thought some of this would cheer you up, but it looks like it was just another failed attempt by Kaoru Kamiya. Just say the word, Kenshin, and I won't try this ever again. I'll leave you alone."

            My mouth opened. Whether an objection or some sort of agreement was on my tongue, I never found out. Kaoru looked at me, lifting her eyebrow in challenge.

            "Is that what you want?" she asked again, that infuriating little expression on her face.

            I nodded. Kaoru's expression never changed. She just mirrored my nod, got to her feet, and walked away. I stared after her for a minute, then got up as well, brushing the dust from my pants, and left the hall.

            Forty minutes later, I was in my room. My face was washed, the cat ears and tail deposited on my shelf, and my pajamas on. I shut off the lights and climbed into bed.

            The clock was creeping up on three AM before I finally fell asleep. It's not that I wasn't tired--I _was_. But I could not help but feel that somehow, despite what I had felt was right earlier, I had made a terrible mistake.

^_^

            I dreaded going to my creative writing class that week. It kept me up the night before, and I had dark rings under my eyes that day. After all, what did a person say when he had just rejected a nice girl's offer of friendship?

            The trip to class seemed longer than usual. I even took the bus. People looked at me funny when I lingered too long on the front steps of the Liberal Arts building. Some guy offered me a cigarette, and since I had ten minutes until class started, I accepted. He held out a Bic lighter. It was embarrassing how my hands trembled when I lit up. The smoke filled my lungs, and I exhaled it in a comforting white cloud. I hadn't done this in years.

            "The name's Saitou," the man introduced himself casually. He looked a little old to be attending college for the first time, but hey... it's a big college. I had a sixty-five year old woman in my Western Civilizations class my second semester. It was not that unusual. This guy must have been creeping up on forty.

            "Kenshin," I offered. After all, it was polite. "You go to school here?"

            The man smirked at me.

            "I'm the head of the Law department."

            Oh, how embarrassing! I should have realized, what with that department being housed in this building. I was not too worried at the moment. The cigarette really did make me feel better, and Saitou looked sour enough not to care about my social blunder.

            "Oh." It was a pathetic response, but I was just too tired to come up with anything better. It was not like I would see this guy much anyway. I hoped to avoid any and all political and social science classes. I was still plotting how to dance around them, but I had yet to be very successful.

            "Hey! Kenshin!"

            Saitou walked away, and I blinked in confusion. That voice had been familiar, and it was just as well that the department head would leave before I could get reamed for how I had treated Kaoru the previous Friday.

            Sighing wearily, I flicked the ashes off the tip of my cigarette and looked up to see Misao stomping her way across the sidewalk to me. She had a deep scowl set into her cute face.

            "What do you think you're doing?!" she demanded as soon as she was close enough to yell at me but not quite close enough to spit on me.

            "I--" that smoke that's supposed to be so terrible for a person invaded my lungs again, and I stubbed the cigarette butt out in the sand-filled tray atop the trash can next to me. "--am smoking."

            "That's disgusting!" another young woman appeared next to Misao. She was also rather short and cute. I could not be certain, but Omasu seemed to be the right name for her face. She grimaced at the smoke drifting toward her. "I didn't know you smoked, Kenshin."

            "I don't usually," I replied, then looked back at Misao. "Stop looking at me like that. It's not like I killed your best friend."

            "No, but you were really mean to her!" Misao shot back without pause. "Kaoru was just trying to be nice to you because you're always by yourself, and she thought you could use a friend."

            "I have friends." Of course I have friends. Let's see. There's Sano... Sano... shit.

            "Keep up this holier-than-thou attitude of yours, and you won't for long!" Misao spat at me. Yes, I think I did feel some spittle hit me. And Omasu was grossed out by the smoke! This girl had just spit on me. Misao turned her back on me. "Come on, Omasu. Let's leave this loser to his lonely life."

            So, they left. I wiped my face, still feeling that spit on my cheek, and glanced at my watch. Five minutes until class started. I wanted another cigarette.

^_^

            _Dammit! Dammit! DAMMIT!_

            So who was the one who spent the entire weekend stressed out over something stupid and did not get anywhere near enough sleep while the flu was sweeping through the student body? I could almost see fingers pointing at me. I did not pay them a lot of attention, though. It was hard to think much of anything when I was on the bathroom floor, hoping I did not get sick again.

            "Hey, Kenshin!" Sano knocked on the door. "You okay in there?"

            What a thing to ask a guy in the bathroom. Sano gave me a sympathetic look as I trudged back to my room, miserable as could be. He wisely left me alone, and I plopped myself down in front of my computer. After quickly emailing my professors for my homework, I fell into bed with the intention of staying there until this bug went away.

            Less than an hour later, I was running to the bathroom again. I was just grateful I wasn't at home. Uncle Hiko had a terrible bedside manner.

^_^

            Tuesday was better. I discovered that by avoiding solid foods, I never had to use the restroom for purposes other than the usual. Boredom was not an issue. I spent most of the day in flannel pants and a bulky sweatshirt of Uncle Hiko's that I had borrowed and never returned. Annoyed with the time I spent in bed, I slept on the futon. It was a cheap thing and not very comfortable, but it seemed better than my bed at the time.

            The radio was playing in the background. I only got in one FM station, so I had learned to love eighties music. Half dozing, I hummed along with a song by Queen. Sano thought it was stupid, but I had this stuffed animal that I curled up with at times like this. It was a huge gorilla, as big as my torso. Uglier than sin, that thing, but I had grown attached to it over the years. At the moment, I had my arms around it, using it as a pillow.

            Someone knocked on my door. It was probably Sano. He was being nice to me while I was sick. He even checked on me that morning before he went to class.

            "Door's open," I called, not willing to get up. I buried my face in the stuffed gorilla, muttering along with _Bohemian Rhapsody_.

            A girl giggled.

            Choking off the song, I looked up to see blue eyes shining down at me. Kaoru smirked.

            "Wait until I tell everyone about _this_," she said triumphantly, one hand planted on her hip.

            "K-Kaoru!" I sat up quickly. My arm was still hooked around the stuffed animal, and it ended up in my lap. I probably looked pretty silly, my face flushed with fever, hair loose and uncombed around my shoulders, a blanket half around me, my sweatshirt intended for someone three times my size, and a child's toy in my arms. "What are you doing here?"

            She made a face at me.

            "Don't get all jumpy about it, Kenshin," she grumbled. "We're in the same writing group, remember? I volunteered to bring you your homework."

            As she spoke, she dug around in her backpack, producing her college planner. She flipped through the pages until she found the proper day. As embarrassing as it was, I reached for a tissue while she was doing this. I hated blowing my nose in front of people. Call me vain, but I felt it to be a rather unpleasant thing to witness. And it was so noisy.

            Kaoru barely glanced at me as I honked into the tissue, her eyes flicking to the side briefly as I tossed the used item into the trash. She wrote something onto a piece of scrap paper and put it on my desk.

            I never knew if it was the fever or just the guilt getting to me, but I found myself calling her name before she could leave.

            "Kaoru?"

            She turned to look at me, blinking in confusion.

            "Did I forget something?" she wondered. I smiled faintly.

            "Yeah," I replied. "You forgot to take my apology."

            "Huh?" she stared at me as if I had just sprouted flowers from my ears. "Kenshin, are you okay? Are you sure you shouldn't go to a doctor?"

            I chuckled as her cool hand felt my face. The cold made me shudder, but I managed to shake my head and smile again.

            "I'll be okay," I assured her. "I mean it. I feel terrible about how I treated you last Friday. So, uh... yeah," I was bad at apologies. I slipped and slopped through them every time. I smiled hopefully. "I'm sorry."

            "Apology accepted," Kaoru said uncertainly, turning to leave again.

            "Wait!" I reached out and caught her wrist to stop her. She looked at me in shock. Flushing in embarrassment, I yanked my hand back and just looked at her nervously. "Um... will you stay awhile? Maybe tell me about what we did in creative writing today?"

            Okay, so I had gone to great extents to get rid of this girl before, and suddenly I wanted her to stay? I certainly was fickle. But that did not matter. What _did_ matter was the grin on Kaoru's face and her confident nod.

            "Sure, Kenshin," she agreed. "I'll stay. But I won't tell you about class yet. You should be sleeping! What kind of fever are you running? You must be at one-oh-one! If you're not careful, it could get really dangerous! Lay down. Are you cold?"

            It was awkward how she pushed me around, but to be perfectly honest, I did not mind. No one had mothered me like that before, and it was kind of nice. Kaoru convinced me to return to bed, and to my mixed discomfort and amusement she tucked the stuffed gorilla under the covers with me.

            I must have dozed off then because the next thing I knew, Kaoru had her hand on my head and shoulder, shaking me awake. Dazed, I blinked to bring her face into focus. The room was pretty dark, and I glanced past her to the window, surprised to see that it was night already. Oh. Well then! I should have been sleeping. I closed my eyes, fully intending to do just that.

            "I have to go now, Kenshin," Kaoru said quietly. "Will you be okay alone here tonight?"

            I muttered something rather incoherent, not happy about being awake. Kaoru shook me again, and I reluctantly opened my eyes. She had this worried expression on her face, and I could not, for the life of me, figure out why she would look like that.

            "What's wrong?" Well, that was what I had intended to say. To my ears, it sounded more like, "Wha-ssera?"

            I did not wait to hear her answer. Sleep seemed much more appealing. That hand in my hair felt so nice, and I was so cozy under all my blankets. To the darkness I went, drifting away from even those slight tactile pleasures.

            That night I dreamed. They started out rather unpleasant, actually...

            _The smoke clouded the air, filling the room and my eyes and lungs. There were strange people around me. I didn't know them. Someone offered me a glass, and I took it..._

_            The glass was gone, and I was in a dark hallway. There was a stranger there. He said something. It startled me, and suddenly I was afraid. I turned to run, but there he was again, pushing me back and laughing. He pointed at a door. Something bad would happen in that room. So I refused, pushing past him._

_            Then, that stranger was my whole world. Dark eyes inches away. A hand around my wrist. An arm around my waist. I didn't want him touching me. He wanted to hurt me. But he was pulling me to that door, and I could not get free._

_            Terror._

_            What did he want?!_

_            Please... stop it!_

_            He was a bad man and he wanted to hurt me and why wasn't anyone coming to help me I was all alone and scared and screaming and oh god I had to get away--_

            _"Shhhhh..." Someone was holding me, cradling me and rocking me while I cried. "It's okay. You're safe now."_

_            And I was. I was warm and secure. That person was someone who could be trusted. Those arms would hold out all danger. I curled up in that bubble of safety and never wanted to leave._

_            I looked up into warm, caring blue eyes. They smiled at me and told me to go back to sleep. I said, "okay," and closed my eyes again. This time, the black was pure..._

^_^

            Someone shook me awake the next morning, and it was not so hard to open my eyes this time. I stared at Kaoru uncertainly, wondering why she had come into my room without first knocking.

            "I've got to get ready for class, Kenshin," she told me. I was confused. She looked like she was ready, even if those clothes were remarkably similar to the ones she had been wearing the previous day. "But I'll come check on you this afternoon, okay?"

            "You're already... ready for class," I mumbled. Yes, it bothered me to the point that I had to inquire about it. Maybe she had caught the flu as well and was delirious.

            She smiled.

            "Don't you remember? I stayed here last night," she said, as if that was the most obvious thing. It wasn't! My mind did not quite comprehend those words.

            "You did?"

            "I was worried that your fever was getting worse, so I slept on your futon last night," she felt my forehead while she said this. "You're sweaty now, but not so warm. You should get washed up. If you feel strong enough, change the sheets on your bed, but if not, then get a clean blanket and sit on the futon for awhile. I'll check on you this afternoon, okay? Just you rest. Drink a lot of water."

            Then, she was gone. The room felt lonely without anyone else in it. A shower seemed to be in order. Throwing back the sheets, slightly damp with sweat, I climbed out of bed.

^_^

Notes: I've never cared for the line where Kenshin meets Kaoru and they were perfect for each other upon saying hello. Very cute. Very romantic. But it's not my style. Right, so they're kind of friends now.

And that Halloween thing? Noooooo, of _course_ it had nothing to do with the fact that it was Halloween last Thursday!

Kenshin: No one's buying it, Fitz-dono.

Fitz: Hush!

For those of you who want that sequel to Life's a Dance, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I have to be inspired. At the moment, I am inspired to write this. My apologies. I will get back to it. It may be some time, but it will happen.

Later all!

~Fitz


	3. College orientation

_Disclaimer_: *hides and holds up a white flag with words printed on it. The words read: See first two chapters.*

_Notes_: *glances at stuffed gorilla sitting on bed* Uh… that thing exists. I love that stupid stuffed animal. It's downright hideous, and I _really_ wanted the tiger or the lion or… there was another, but I can't remember what it was now, but by the time I got there, the good ones were all gone. Thus, the gorilla.

Stuff related to this story. Okay, so as to avoid any confusion, I'll tell you that this story does _not_ follow any sort of order other than the order I select. It bounces around in time and place. For a general timeline, I'll just say that I have been going backward so far. This chapter takes place before the other two, and the 'Kaoru' chapter took place after this one but before the Intro. Is that clear? *reads over words* Yeah, that'll do.

_Warnings_: The dreaded 'icebreaker' games! *overly cheerful group leader stands up and shouts* "All right! Everyone in a big circle! Say your name and one thing that you like about yourself!" GAAAAAH!!!! Run awaaaaaaayyyyyy!!!! *flees*

My Life

            Orientation was a two-day ordeal. The first day, students were supposed to sign in and meet in assigned groups. Then it was an afternoon filled with speeches and 'getting to know you,' icebreaker games. That night, the groups all convened in an auditorium and sat through a presentation about the issues of college. Drugs, discrimination, rape, fire safety, harassment... the list went on and on and on. After that, the groups split off again for discussions about the presentation and other life issues.

            Not until the next day did anyone even begin to think about signing up for classes. Even then, everyone had to attend various seminars before making any decisions. It was a long, tedious process, and I was immensely relieved to get out of there.

            I fully expected to spend all of orientation--and college--stuck on the sidelines. After all, I had been the outcast all through high school. Why would college be any different? It was mostly how I looked that intimidated all of the students in high school. Generally, guys with long hair were thought to be weird. My hair fell to the small of my back. I supposed I could have cut it my senior year, but of everything I had done through the earlier years of junior and senior high, it was something I wanted to keep. Maybe it was a reminder.

            Dressed in jeans, a plain black tee shirt, and a nametag stuck to my chest, I shuffled into the auditorium. It was filled with tables and chairs. Students and their parents milled about, most of them sitting at the tables with bag lunches. I came alone. Even if I wanted Uncle Hiko to come with me, he never would. His opinion was that I had been a man at fifteen. He provided the funds, but I had to decide what to do with them. Until very recently, most of that money had been squandered on worthless and even harmful things.

            "Isn't this exciting?"

            I looked to the side. A girl with brown eyes and short brown hair smiled and glanced at me.

            "I'm in the Liberal Arts college," she told me. "You?"

            "Same," I allowed, looking back out at the tables.

            "My name's Tae," she continued. "I'm from Pennsylvania."

            I nodded absently. Her accent had been enough to inform me of that bit of information.

            "Kenshin," I smiled at her. "And I live about an hour south of campus."

            A girl started shouting Tae's name from somewhere across the auditorium. Excusing herself politely, Tae ran off to find her friend. I sighed and walked into the room. A woman with a nametag marking her as a student leader stopped me with a smile.

            "Don't you want your lunch?" she asked. "What kind did you order?"

            After I told her, she plopped a nondescript, white paper bag into my hands and gestured toward a table. Most of the chairs were taken. Someone must have directed the people to fill in all the spaces, because there were no empty chairs between families. It's a well-known fact that if given the choice, people will put more space between themselves and people they don't know.

            "Hey."

            I stared blankly at the empty chairs, suddenly feeling awkward and out of place. My first impulse was to sit at the end, away from everyone.

            "Hellooooo!"

            Of course, if I did that, someone would probably come and tell me to move down. 

            "Red?"

            So which was the lesser of two evils: Asking someone if I could sit next to them or wait for someone else to do it for me?

            "Hey! Girly-boy!"

            That guy was asking for an ass-kicking. My eyebrows dropped into a frown, and I glared at the source of that rather uncouth exclamation. I found myself staring into dark brown eyes, shining with dark amusement. From there, my gaze moved to thick, uncontrolled brown hair, held back with a red bandanna. Then, it was down to a sarcastic grin, which never faded as he addressed me.

            "You going to stand there staring at the table all day?" he asked.

            "Sure," I tossed back, still a bit irked at the 'girly-boy' comment. "I'm a nut for decorations and I thought I could learn something."

            He laughed at my words, grabbing the back of a metal folding chair. He pulled the chair out in invitation, which I accepted.

            "Sanosuke," he said.

            "Excuse me?" I blinked at him.

            "My name," the guy smirked. "It's Sanosuke. Nice to meet you..." his eyes flicked to the sticker on my shirt. "Kenshin."

            I did not know what to say, so I kept my mouth shut. Sanosuke would not accept silence as an answer. Picky, picky.

            "This is where you say, 'thank you, Sano. It's nice to meet you, too,'" he prompted.

            "Or," I countered. "I say, hello, Sanosuke. Don't call me girly-boy again."

            "Oh _ho!_" Sanosuke chuckled. "So you're a tough little guy!"

            He reached over and caught a lock from my bangs, tugging on it sharply. Of all the nerve! I hated it when people pulled on my hair. Fully intending to teach Sanosuke a much-needed lesson, my hand shot up and caught his first finger. I pushed it back, forcing his hand away from my face.

            Sanosuke's eyes were wide with surprise. Tough little guy. He had hit the nail on the head with that one.

            He blinked, then grinned. Incredibly, he pushed back against the force I exerted. His fingers moved back into their proper places, then down as he formed a fist with that hand. Unfortunately for me, my hand was trapped in that fist, my fingers being crushed beneath that viselike grip. I set my lips into a hard line and let my hand relax.

            Sanosuke released my hand, and I massaged my sore fingers.

            "You've got some style to you, Kenshin," Sanosuke chuckled again. "Not bad."

            "Thanks," I could not help but smile at him. He had impressed me. "Not bad yourself."

            "Heh," he leered at me. "You come alone?"

            "Yeah," I glanced past him, certain that petite blond woman sitting to his other side was not at all related to him. "You?"

            "Didn't know a soul," he shrugged. "But for you, now."

            I frowned at him, thinking his comment to be an odd one. Then, he reached in front of me and grabbed my lunch. I blinked and watched in astonishment as he dumped the contents onto the table and started rifling through the plastic-wrapped items. 

            "You want your cookies?" he asked, holding up what looked to be a sugar cookie with some sort of pink candy baked into it.

            "You can have them," I grumbled, snatching away the sandwich and chips before he could decide he wanted those as well. What a rude guy!

            "So, Kenshin," Sanosuke said around the cookie he had taken from my lunch. "Let me guess... music major? Maybe dance."

            "English," I replied immediately. "Why would you think music?"

            "I don't know," he stuffed the second cookie into his mouth, spraying crumbs as he talked. Rude _and_ disgusting. I was willing to bet he was not very popular with the girls. "You've got the look about you, you know?"

            "No, I don't know." Actually, I was pretty sure I _did_ know, and if he said it, I was going to shove it back into his face.

            He gave me a shrewd look then and offered a confident grin.

            "Artsy," he said boldly. "With the long hair and stuff."

            "Then why not painting or sculpture?" I challenged.

            "You didn't look like the type of guy who was all that good with his hands."

            I snorted, and he turned a nice shade of red. He started sputtering, trying to recover from that comment. He looked absolutely mortified. I started to laugh. His face turned nearly purple, and I was laughing so hard that tears came to my eyes.

            "I didn't--!" he stuttered.

            "It's because you think I look like a girl," I said helpfully, since recovered from my hysterics over that rather risqué observation.

            "No!"

            "It crossed your mind," I said mockingly.

            "Well..." he grunted, his face slowly returning to its natural shade.

            "I can tell by the way you won't look at me that it did." I don't know why I insisted on pressing this issue. Looking back on it, I think I just wanted to know if he would agree and run away when he had the chance. Honestly, I did not think he said what he did merely because I had some feminine features. It was like everyone else, and like everyone else, he would jump around the issue so as not to be the bigot. Why would he be any different? It was better to be out with it right away so I could be amused as he slunk away with his tail between his legs.

            He spat out a few very colorful words. Turning in his chair, he glared down at me. He was irritated. No. He looked _pissed_.

            "You look gay, okay?" he growled. In hindsight, I was grateful he had the decency to keep his voice down. "You look like a fucking pansy!"

            He turned away with another curse, glowering at the table. It was a dangerous expression, but if he wanted to see someone cower under it, he would need to look at something other than his crumpled napkins.

            That thought was what first brought the smile to my face. Then, I considered his answer. It was exactly as I had thought. For some reason, his words did not bother me. In fact, I was almost pleased. Almost. I chuckled.

            "What the hell is so funny?" Sanosuke snarled.

            I laughed outright and tilted my head to look at him, still smiling.

            "No one's actually said that to me," I told him.

            He looked at me like I was completely off my rocker.

            "What, you like being called a homo?" he demanded.

            "No," I shook my head. "But it's worse when you know people think it and won't admit it."

            "You're crazy."

            "Maybe," I shook my head and picked up my water, sipping from the bottle absently.

            "Are you?"

            "What?" I looked at him in surprise. He just lifted his eyebrows curiously.

            "Are you gay?" he clarified.

            I had to laugh.

            "No, I'm not gay."

            "Oh... I guess that means I'll have to look elsewhere."

            I was dumbfounded. My mouth hung open, and I stared at him.

            "You...?" I stammered for a moment before I could find my tongue. "_You're_ gay?"

            "Nah," he smirked at me, winking mischievously. "Always been curious, though."

            The only suitable response to that was incredulous laughter. Sanosuke laughed as well, his hand swinging up and landing on my head. He ruffled my hair playfully. Then, he leaned back into his chair and folded his arms behind his head comfortably.

            "You and me, Kenshin," he said cheerfully. "We're going to blow this place away."

            That did not require a response. I leaned forward, bracing my elbows on the table. The official welcome would come soon. Sanosuke shoved lightly at my shoulder, and I offered him a light smirk. He grinned and returned that hand to its place behind his head. Nodding his approval, he looked up, just in time to see the Dean of Students tap on the microphone. It squealed in protest, making everyone groan. Orientation was about to begin.

^_^

            Dinner consisted of pizza and pop* in the dorm's dining room. It was sunny outside, so most people sat on the grass or at picnic tables. I sat on a bench. It should have been under the shade of the nearby birch, but it was just at the right time of day where the sun hung low enough on the horizon to bypass all those leaves. I liked the warmth, so that was fine with me. Sanosuke muttered and complained the entire time, yanking out a pack of cigarettes.

            "You want one?" he offered.

            Oh, desperately, I did. I shook my head.

            "No."

            "Yeah, you do," Sanosuke predicted, poking the cigarette between his lips and lighting up with the effortlessness that came from being a long-time smoker. "You trying to quit?"

            "Yeah," I shoved my pizza around on my paper plate.

            "That's better for you, anyway," Sanosuke grunted. "Tough, isn't it?"

            "You have no idea." And he didn't. It was a very long story that I was not about to tell some guy I had just met that day.

            "Tried to quit once," he announced.

            "Really."

            "Had a bitch of a headache," he laughed as if it was funny. "I lasted two days. How long's it been for you?"

            "Year and a half," I admitted.

            "You get headaches?"

            "Yeah..." Well _that_ was an understatement. Did I have _headaches?_ Migraines. Bad ones. And I spent at least a week worshiping the porcelain god. Most miserable experience of my life. "I got headaches."

            "How'd you stand it?" he wondered, looking awed by my self-control.

            "Didn't get a choice in the matter," I said grudgingly. I wanted a change in subjects. "Where'd you go to school before this?"

            "Eh... Community college," he blinked, startled by the leap in topics. "And Vo-Tech through a lot of high school."

            I had suspected as much. He was older than he first appeared.

            "So you're not a freshman?" I asked.

            "I need four more credits to be a sophomore," he smirked. "How'd you guess that?"

            "I don't know..." I smirked at him. "You've got the look about you."

            "Cute, Kenshin," he grimaced. "Real cute."

            I chuckled and picked up my pizza.

            "Yeck," I grumbled, reluctantly swallowing the bite I had taken and returning the pizza to the plate. It was cold.

^_^

*'Pop.' Anyone not from the Midwest probably calls this 'soda.' You know--soft drinks, carbonated beverages, Coca Cola- and Pepsi-type products.

Fitz: *whispering* And it's Duck-Duck-Gray Duck. *runs away*

^_^

            Sanosuke was interesting, to put it mildly. Not only was he an unpredictable rogue, he also flirted with anyone who had a pulse.

            "I don't think that guy appreciated your efforts," I remarked dryly as a young man stormed away. Sanosuke had declared himself my temporary roommate, and we were on our way to our designated quarters. Our trip to the ninth floor, via elevator, had ended somewhat badly.

            "No sense of humor, that one," Sanosuke agreed, trailing after me down the hall. "And what about you? Can't I depend on you for back up?"

            "If you want a date, you'll have to find one on your own," I replied bluntly.

            "You didn't even laugh!" he groaned.

            "It wasn't that funny," I shrugged. It really had not been funny. In fact, it had been almost mean. And Sanosuke had been lying to the guy--telling wild stories that no one in his right mind would believe. "Do you really want to scare off everyone before you get the chance to see if you want to be friends?"

            "You should talk," he shot back. "Mr. 'let's piss off this complete stranger because I'm too chicken-shit to tell him what I _really_ think' redhead."

            I had to flinch at that one. I deserved that--I really did. It was by pure luck that Sanosuke had not been completely offended by my brusque attitude. He laughed and shoved me forward. Being that he had a good eight inches and sixty pounds on me, it was no surprise that he nearly sent me sprawling. By the time I caught my balance, he had his key in the door. He pushed the door open and walked in, whistling at the small size.

            "Nice!" he laughed. "Suck it in, Kenshin. You might not fit in here!"

            "If there's not enough room, then it's because you're too big," I tossed back, peeking into the closet space and the rest of the room. The place--intended to be living space for two people--was smaller than my room at home. Granted, I had a pretty good-sized room, but this was ridiculous. Of course, the beds were long enough for someone half again my height to fit on them.

            "Well, this is just beautiful," Sanosuke chuckled. "Let's go."

            "What?" I turned to stare at his back as he sauntered back out of the room. "Where are you going?"

            "The night is young, Kenshin!" he glanced over his shoulder at me and nodded toward the door. "Let's check out the haunts."

            "It's eleven o'clock!" I protested, unzipping my sweatshirt and reaching for my bag. "And we have to get up by six-thirty."

            That declared, I pulled out my toothbrush and toothpaste.

            "You can't be serious!" Sanosuke groaned behind me. "Are you even tired?"

            "That's not the point," I sighed.

            "Exactly!"

            I yelped as he grabbed me, not at all expecting the arm that slid around my waist from behind and lifted me off the ground entirely. He placed me back on my feet, between him and the door.

            "That's _not_ the point," Sanosuke added. "So why make it an issue?"

            "Where did you want to go?" I challenged, resisting as he nudged me toward the door. He was not using a lot of force, or I would have been in the hallway long before this. As I said, he was a lot bigger. I was pretty good, but I did not want to push back against someone like him. "What's even open at this hour?"

            "The bars--"

            "I'm too young."

            "Not to go in, you're not," he laughed. "And I can order you something."

            "_You're_ too young."

            "Not according to my ID."

            "You have a fake ID?" I scowled at him. It was not anything that shocked me. After all, I had used false identification more than once. However, I did not do that anymore, and I was not about to start up again.

            "Lighten up, Kenshin," he hooked his arm through mine and bullied me out into the hall. I gave ground, still protesting, albeit rather weakly. He just locked the door behind him and turned toward the stair well. "Maybe you can pick up a girl who's prettier than you."

            "I doubt that," I grumbled, not at all happy with the arm that propelled me through the door into the stair well. If he intended to push me much further, I was going to have to stand my ground more firmly.

            "Yeah, you're right," Sanosuke nudged me toward the stairs, and I caught the handrail before I could stumble down the flight. "You'll never find a girl that pretty."

            "You're asking for it!" I hissed in frustration. He had his arm around my waist again, and I could tell he wanted to haul me bodily down those steps. I did not trust him quite that much yet. "I'm not going to any bar!"

            "Afraid?" Sanosuke taunted.

            "If I get caught--"

            "They'll give you a warning," he shrugged carelessly. "It happens all the time."

            "_No!_" I jumped at the sound of my own voice echoing off the walls. Stupid stair well. I quickly lowered my voice. "Maybe _you'll_ get a warning, but _I_ will get dragged to the county holding cells!"

            Sanosuke blinked at me, then laughed.

            "Don't be so dramatic, Kenshin," he chided.

            "I'm not," I said, careful to keep my voice low. I had already demonstrated that sound carried very well in this hollowed out section of the building, and I did not really want anyone to hear what I had to say to this moron. "I'm already on police records. All they need to do is punch my name into their computer, and they'll think I'm up to something."

            Sanosuke stared at me for a long minute, sizing me up. I could almost see the gears turning behind his eyes, comparing my words with what he already knew of me, trying to determine if I was lying. He blew out a puff of air in an almost-whistle.

            "You're shittin' me," he murmured. He kept his voice down, thank god.

            My face was warm, but I could not hide that now. I just bit my lip in my embarrassment and shook my head. He stared incredulously.

            "_You_ have a record," he clarified. "As in, all the illegal stuff you've done in your life."

            "Not _all_," I mumbled, nodding uneasily.

            "What'd you do?"

            "A lot of shit, Sanosuke," I sighed, suddenly very weary. I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes. "Can I go back to the room now?"

            He was quiet for a moment, and I thought I would just turn and go back up the stairs. His hand closed around my wrist.

            _Shit_.

            I looked back at him uncertainly. He smirked.

            "You're not getting off _that_ easy."

            He yanked on my wrist, and I jumped without thinking, turning the fall into a smooth leap as I hit the landing. Sanosuke had been intending to steady me if I faltered, but I already mentioned that I did not trust him that much. His grin said he was impressed with the maneuver.

            "Zip up that sweater of yours, Kenshin," he said with a laugh. "We're going outside."

^_^

            The air was cool, but somewhat balmy from the warm day and our position by the river. Sanosuke picked up a rock and flung it into the water. It landed with a soft 'ploop.'

            "What kind of shit, Kenshin?"

            I should have expected that, but I suppose I hoped he would not ask. Let's be honest. It was not a topic for lighthearted conversation. I could just hear it:

            "So what'd you do?" "Nothing much. Just killed a guy once." "Really? Speaking of killed... _man!_ Did those Vikings get there asses whooped the other night!"

            Maybe I hadn't killed anyone, but I was pretty sure our conversation would not be quite that easy. If it did, then I needed to reevaluate this time spent with Sanosuke.

            I picked up a rock and turned it over in my hand. It was a nice flat one--good shape to it.

            "Drugs," I said finally. "Some alcohol, though not as much."

            Turning, I flung the rock out to the dark river. It landed, almost reluctantly, and took off again. Normally, I would have smiled over seeing a rock skip seven times, but that was just not the time for it.

            I looked up to see Sanosuke fumbling with his cigarettes. For a moment, I puzzled over this, wondering why a seasoned smoker would have problems kicking a cigarette out of the box. Then, I saw that he was trying to put the cigarette _back_ in its case.

            "Oh," he muttered, still struggling with the box.

            Shaking my head, I reached out and took the smoke from his hand. Turning it, I gently poked it toward his mouth. He got the hint and bit down on it lightly, blinking again in surprise as I flicked a lighter to life and held it out for him. A small glow of orange flared in the night, and I smelled the smoke as he exhaled gratefully.

            "You don't smoke, but you carry around a lighter?" Sanosuke asked.

            "It's your lighter," I told him, tucking it into his front shirt pocket.

            "A pickpocket, too!" he grunted in obvious disapproval.

            "Sometimes," I admitted. "Don't tell anyone. No one got me for that."

            "So... what?" he sat down abruptly, making himself comfortable on the riverbed. "You get busted for smoking on the corner outside the high school?"

            The words were mocking, but his tone was serious. I got the distinct impression it was the only way he knew how to handle solemn situations. Joking just made it easier.

            "Not quite," I sat down beside him. This was something I would not even talk about with counselors. It got to the point where I was spending whole hours in the psychologist's office, just glaring at the man. Finally, Uncle Hiko got sick of it and refused to pay for my continued counseling. That was the end of those pointless sessions.

            So, if I did not want to tell someone who was bound by oath and contract not to discuss what I told him with anyone else, why was I contemplating telling a guy I had met only twelve hours before? I didn't know. It just felt right, sitting on the river bank with a seemingly carefree, cocky young man in the pre-midnight hour when we supposedly had a curfew of ten-thirty.

            "It was a little more severe than that," I murmured.

            "Weed?"

            "Whatever was available," I shrugged. "I wasn't a choosy kid."

            "Why'd you stop?" he asked quietly.

            "Cops caught me," I answered, mostly honest.

            "People don't stop just because of a police raid," Sanosuke fixed a shrewd stare on me.

            "I did."

            "Bullshit."

            I pressed my lips together, staring out at the river. The jerk got more out of me than most people did. I did not know what he expected. My life story? Good luck! Even if he _did_ manage to get me drunk--or high, whichever he pleased--I was a tight-lipped drunk. How else does a kid survive for almost three years without anyone truly understanding what kind of nasty habits he's picked up?

            "I'm going to ask one more question," he said after a long silence, strangely subdued. "You don't have to answer, but I have to ask."

            "What's that?" I wondered apprehensively.

            "Did you get sick?"

            "Sick...?" I was pretty sure I understood what he was asking, but I did not want to jump to conclusions on something like that.

            "It's not unheard of," he was watching me, but I could not look at him. "Sharing drugs... Disease, Kenshin."

            "AIDS," I said quietly.

            "Yeah," he sighed. "AIDS."

            "No." Impulsively, I leaned back on the ground, folding my arms behind my head. The sky was crystal clear, and it would have been a great view had we not been in the middle of the city. As it was, I could only see some of the brighter stars. I sighed and closed my eyes. "I never got sick."

            "You got lucky."

            "I suppose." I opened my eyes to look at him again. "You're not the model student, yourself. How old are you? Twenty?"

            "Twenty-one this February," he nodded. "I had an off year. Hell, all of junior and senior high was off. And a lot of elementary school."

            I smiled, knowing exactly what he meant. He chuckled and shook his head.

            "Spent most of my childhood in foster homes," he said abruptly.

            Wasn't this just the night for telling our intimate secrets! Of course, I did not say that aloud. I did not want to discourage him. It was only fair, after all. He had the dirt on me.

            "I skipped out of a lot of school to spite those bastards," he said, speaking to the night as much as he was to me. "Spent most of my time on the streets just to make them squirm. Fuck them, you know? Then, the man who's my adoptive father came along, and things just changed. Got through high school and took some community college classes to get my scores up. And here I am!"

            I blinked as his hand mussed my hair for the second time that day.

            "Let's go back to the dorm," he suggested. "You look ready to drop."

            I smirked and shook my head, taking his proffered hand and letting him haul me to my feet.

            "You boasted earlier that you could--what were your exact words?--carry my skinny ass across the bridge if you had to," I teased mildly. We needed some joking after that conversation. "That's farther than from here to the dorm."

            "That was before I tried lifting you," he retorted with a roguish smirk. "You weighed a lot more than I expected."

            "What's _that_ supposed to mean?" I glared at him. Okay, so I was a bit vain. Was this guy telling me I was overweight?

            "Whoa!" he laughed. "Don't take it so personally, Kenshin."

            I grumbled under my breath. The last time I had gone to the doctor, I had been well within the safe weight range for my height. It was on the low side, even!

            "That happens to people who work out a lot," Sanosuke offered. Perhaps he was trying to soothe my ego. If that was the case, then it was working. I looked at him cautiously.

            "Really?" I asked, hoping he would elaborate.

            "Sure," he smirked. "You know... muscle weighs a lot. More than fat."

            Some portion of my brain informed me that I should have learned this bit of information in high school Health class. It was vaguely familiar, but I had gotten a D in Health, which was barely passing for high school. All the teachers informed me that D's would not cut it in college.

            "So?"

            I blinked.

            "So what?"

            "Do you work out?" he poked at my arm. It hurt, so I rubbed the spot and shook my head.

            "Not really," I held open the door to the dorm, and we walked into the lobby. The guard was reading a book. He barely glanced at us. "I was into karate and judo as a kid. I picked it up again just this past year."

            "That explains it," Sanosuke grinned.

            We stepped into the elevator, and he pushed the button for the ninth floor. A silence fell between us. Usually, that would make me uncomfortable, but for once, I did not mind. It gave me time to consider everything that had happened that night--everything that had been said.

            "Sano..." I said, just as the elevator dinged past the seventh floor.

            "Hmm?" he smirked down at me, and I glanced at him warily.

            "Sano, if you tell anyone what I told you tonight--"

            He laughed, momentarily cutting off the rest of my words. I grimaced and shook my head. Sano just chuckled again and clapped his hand against my shoulder.

            "Your secret's safe with me, Kenshin," he said confidently. "And if you start spreading around that I told you that stuff, I'll kill you and make it look like an accident.*"

            I blinked, startled by his frank words. Smiling then, I nodded my agreement. He snorted, as if the conversation, brief though it was, had been the most ludicrous thing he had experienced in a long time. Well... perhaps it was.

            Sano left the elevator and walked back to the room quietly. I trailed after him, content to keep my silence for the rest of the night. Fortunately, Sano seemed to share my sentiments. Admittedly, I would never know for sure. My shoes landed somewhere in the closet space, my sweatshirt over a chair, and I crawled under the bed covers. I was asleep mere seconds after my head hit the pillow.

^_^

*Heh. Anyone know where I got _that_ line? It's a quote. (Darned close to it, if not word-for-word.)

Notes: Just for some clarification on some things:

This story will not contain a lot of plot. That is, there will not be any big 'storyline.' As I'm sure you've already noticed, it jumps around in time. The next chapter is going to be set sometime after this one but before chapter two. The stories will follow the main character (Kenshin Himura, our Americanized little samurai). And as a person tells a story, he (or she, that being the case) tends to jump around. Personally, my train of thought is often derailed, so even what I have here is unusual in its manner of following through to the end of a subject.

Okay, I think I've written enough of a novella here. Notes done. Onto the reviewers!

Reviewers: Hi all! I missed responding so much, I thought I'd do this again. So here it goes. *rolls up sleeves*

**Jason M. Lee**: Thanks for the vote of confidence. ^_~ And I'm sorry if I'm disappointing you, but 'Rurouni Confessions' was a one-shot. There will be no continuation with it.

**Hana Himura**: *grin* I love that awful gorilla. And hey… if you write in Portuguese, then perhaps I'll learn something. I used to know some Spanish, but even that is pretty pathetic. I think I can safely say I know not a word of Portuguese.

**Crystal**: *blink* Hope what happens soon?

**Gypsy-chan**: I did have Battousai in mind while I was writing this—just not in full battle mode, you know?

**Chiki**: If you draw that, I want to see it. I don't care if you think it sucks.

**Vesca**: Tenterhooks? Must go find a dictionary…

**Nim**: I'll admit right up front that I'm not a big fan of Kaoru. She's okay, don't get me wrong, but there's just something about her that I find irritating. I'm trying. Honest, I am. But I'm not a WAFF kind of person, and the thought of writing a 'love at first sight' thing with them makes me antsy. Thus, the friction.

**Li**: Sorry, but this one probably will stick to the classic couplings. Give me a little time. I'm writing about ten things at once, and some of them are shonen ai. They'll come out eventually. *thinks about odd wording there*… *shrug*

**Chibi Assassin**: *glomp* You reviewed my story!!! *dons Halloween cat costume and purrs contentedly*

**Bunny**: Here's more. I hope you liked it.

**Oryo**: Kenshin smokes… sometimes. As you probably gathered from this story. That's a whole piece of the required 'dark background' for Kenshin. Thanks for reviewing! I love reading your input.

**Gochan**: *wide, innocent eyes* Not surprising coming from me? Are you saying I've got strange and unusual ideas? Why thank you!

**omochi**: Ah… a Kaoru lover. Um…

Kaoru: *smacks Fitz upside the head* Be nice to me!

Fitz: *cringe* I'm trying! I'm trying!


	4. The roommate from hell

Disclaimer: You know the drill. *fire alarm whoops across ff.net* GAH! Bad jokes! BAD jokes! *beats back cheesy puns with a baseball bat* Seriously, people. I soon have to write a very big check for school, and that is the sum of my money.

Notes: So, I had to build a partial house model at ½ inch scale that was due the 15th of November. I'm talking detailed work here. This is not your childhood dollhouse. *tears at hair, then swears because fingers were coated in super glue* GAH! I've been a bit stressed. It took _weeks_ to build this thing. (Think 3-5 hours a day.)

Anyway, the story. It's pretty self-explanatory. I introduce another character. Well, two or three, if you include minor people. Yeah. And read the warnings, please. I rated the fic PG-13 overall, and unless I start popping forth ideas that warrant a great change, I intend to leave it there.

Warnings: I would rate this chapter 'R' for content of a mature, somewhat sexual nature and some very bad language. And the F-word. No, not the four-letter F-word (although that's in here a lot too). The other, more derogatory F-word. Eh… you'll know it when you see it.

My Life

            College started with a bang. That bang was the sound of my school books crashing off my desk, hitting my chair, and taking said chair with them on their path to the floor. The first morning, and my roommate already hated me.

            It really was not my fault. In a way, it was, I guess. Still, I never knew how to curb nightmares, and a person could not be faulted for what he did when he was still mostly asleep. So when my hand hit those books, the blow jarred me out of my dreams, and I woke in time to be doubly startled by the noise those books and my chair made upon hitting the floor. That sound was closely followed by expressive cursing above me.

            "Fuckin' A! What the fuck was that?!"

            He liked to use the F-word a lot. If he ever went three sentences without saying it, I was not there to hear it.

            "S-sorry," I stammered, trying to control my breathing. I did not have nightmares often, but when I did, they were bad. Stress usually brought them on, and heaven knew I had been under a bit of pressure that week.

            "What the fuck's the time?" my roommate groaned.

            My roommate's name was Jonas. He swore up and down that he was one hundred percent Russian and 'fucking' proud of it. Not a day passed that I did not hear him rave about 'Mother Russia' and how the country would rise again. It was the point when he spoke of Russia's great leaders of the twentieth century that I came to understand something a bit... unexpected.

            "Like Stalin?" I had asked before I had the chance to really think about what a stupid thing that was to say to the fanatic.

            "Whatever," he had shrugged, no recognition at all in his face. "You know. The great fucking czars."

            "Oh, like the Romanoff family?" I offered, grateful to recover from that last comment.

            "What the fuck are you talking about, Himura?" That was another thing. He always called me by my surname, as if there was another Kenshin walking around and that was the only way he could tell us apart.

            I had just stared, incredulous. There he sat, all high and mighty, placing this country on a great pedestal, and he did not know jack shit about it.

            "Never mind, Jonas," I had waved him off, poking my nose back into my book before he could go off on me again. He thought I was the roommate from hell. He needed to take a look in the mirror once in awhile.

            Back to that first day, though. The two of us just stepped off on the wrong foot. That was putting it mildly. In actuality, we stepped all over each others' feet.

            "It's only five-fifty," I replied to his question after glancing at my alarm clock. "Go back to sleep."

            "The fuck! I have to get up in ten minutes anyway!" Jonas snarled. He was not a morning person. How could he be when he stayed up until two o'clock every night? "What the fuck's your problem?"

            "Nothing," I grumbled, already out of bed and picking up my chair, gently pushing it under the desk. "Sorry."

            "If you're gonna yell like that every night, I swear to fuckin' God, I'll throttle you," he announced gruffly. He climbed down from his bunk, shoving against my shoulder as he walked past. I grabbed my chair, nearly knocking it over again in my efforts to remain on my feet. Needless to say, I was not pleased with the way Jonas was treating me.

            "There's no need to push me," I said, somewhat irate by this point. "I can move on my own."

            "Don't patronize me, wuss."

            I bit back several heated responses, most of them insulting his intelligence. My ego was bruised, but I did not want to get into a fight so early in the morning. After all, if I did not take some crap from people, I would never survive college life.

            Throwing on a pair of sweatpants over my boxers and grabbing my ID and keys, I followed Jonas out of the room. He went to the shower, and I went the opposite direction, down the hall to the elevator. With his attitude so far, I had the feeling he would take plenty of time in the shower, so I planned to take that time to eat some breakfast.

^_^

            My place on seventh floor was not all bad. I soon discovered that Sano lived on the same floor. He was in a different wing, but it was a pleasant surprise to see a familiar face at the floor meeting. Even more nice was when he waved at me from across the room when I rushed in late to the meeting after my last class of the day. I took the invitation and sat on the floor next to his chair.

            "Fancy meeting you here," Sano said grandly. "Where's your room?"

            "The north wing," I gestured toward the correct hallway absently, eyes drifting toward the man sitting in the lounge chair next to Sano. He had blue-green eyes and hair that was almost as startlingly long as mine. His hair fell to just below his shoulders, and he held it back with a bluish bandanna--similar to the way Sano did. Sano must have noticed my distraction because he calmly spoke up again.

            "Kenshin, this is Katsu," he introduced. "Katsu, this is the kid I met at orientation."

            "You never told me he was pretty."

            I had to blush at that comment, and I scowled.

            "He's straight, Katsu."

            My scowl turned into a wide-eyed blink of surprise. Katsu smirked.

            "Pity." Yes, I blushed again.

            "Katsu's an aspiring painter," Sano explained. He offered that wily smirk with which I was beginning to grow familiar. "You know... the artsy type."

            "Ah..." I chuckled uneasily. Trying to shake off my discomfort over the way his intense gaze settled on me, I smiled. "Are you two roommates?"

            "Me and Katsu?" Sano sounded surprised. He laughed. "Nah! He'd go nuts with someone like me in his room."

            "Sano is a slob," Katsu murmured. "The last time he came over, he put his foot through a painting I had spent three months on."

            "I said I was sorry!" Sano groaned. "Come on! That was two Christmases ago!" He rolled his eyes and leaned down slightly as if to speak in tones Katsu could not hear. Sano spoke plenty loud. "He hasn't let me step foot in his house since. Can we say paranoid?"

            I chuckled, and Katsu huffed indignantly. Our conversation ended there because the CA* started the floor meeting.

^_^

*CA, aka, California, aka Community Advisor. Figure it out from the context. ^_~ Anyway, this is different from the usual RA/Residence Advisor. The college chose to change this for some reason. Perhaps to make it politically correct. Whatever. Now you all know what a CA is if I mention it again.

^_^

            The first semester of college went smoothly for the most part. Classes were fine. I was not pleased with my Biology teacher. He gave me a zero on a test that I would have scored an A on, had I remembered to put my name on it. Call me an idiot, but my mind was elsewhere at the time. Like on what the difference between capillaries and arteries was. My saving grace was that he threw out your lowest test score, but I had kind of hoped to throw that sixty percent I had gotten on the single-celled organisms exam.

            The situation with Jonas only got worse. He finally gave up on the whole Russia fanaticism thing, replacing it with cocaine and heroin. Considering my own background with such chemicals, I was extremely uncomfortable with their presence. Sometimes he had the drugs in the room, and sometimes he was just high when he stumbled in at night. Either way, I did not like it. After all, the mere fact that I knew the drugs were there was enough to get me kicked out along with Jonas should anyone discover what he was doing.

            I confronted him one night, when he was a little more down-to-earth than usual.

            Jonas was on my bed, flipping through some teen magazine. I had been out in the TV lounge, doing my Pre-Calculus, and I set my math book down on my desk when I saw him.

            "Jonas, I want to talk to you," I started, knowing from the tension around his eyes that he was well aware of his surroundings.

            "Well good for you," he snapped immediately. "What the fuck do you have to say to me?"

            "I know about the drugs," I said quietly. The door was closed, but I wanted to be careful.

            "So?" he challenged. "What do you care?"

            "I don't like it!" I frowned at him, a bit frustrated at his lack of response. "If you're going to shoot up, fine. But don't do it in here."

            "I'll do whatever the fuck I feel like doing!" he stood up then, towering over me. He was about six-foot-five, which placed him well over a foot taller than myself. It made things awkward. I stepped back, but I still had to crane my neck to meet his angry glare.

            "You could get caught," I warned.

            "The only way anyone would find out was if someone _else_ told them," Jonas hissed.

            "Keep pushing it, Jonas," I replied, more frustrated than angry. "I don't want that stuff around me."

            He was furious by that point, the violence in his face alarming. Then, he was looming toward me, using his greater size to force me back. I stumbled a few steps before my back hit the wall, and there was nowhere else to go. To my left was another wall, and to my right-- Jonas's hand slammed into the wall, palm slapping flat against the surface when he saw me look that direction.

            "I don't care _what_ you want!" he snarled, nose inches from mine. I stared back at him, my frustration mounting, anger building at this treatment. "This is _my_ room, _I_ paid for it, so I can do whatever the fuck I _want_ in it!"

            My conclusion: Jonas was a screwed up bastard who had terrible breath. I glared up at him, mad that he thought he could intimidate me with his size and even more irritated because he had not actually touched me yet. If he did not hit me, then I could not hit him back. I'd be damned if I threw the first punch.

            "Yes, but it's _my_ room as well," I replied coldly. "So I have a say in everything that happens in it. And I don't want your shit in here. So get out of my face, Jonas."

            He shoved forward with a growl, and I tensed for the blow that never came. Jonas just pushed his entire body forward, nearly against mine but not quite, his face next to mine, breath hot on my neck. I turned my face from him, looking at him out of the corner of my eye. I refused to cringe away. He would not defeat me with intimidation and words.

            "I don't know what you're planning, _fag_, but you turn me in, and I'll have your hide," he breathed into my ear.

            "Back off, Jonas," I whispered. The name-calling stung, but I had a feeling it would hurt a lot more if I was not careful. It was better not to acknowledge it than to make a big issue of it and let him know how much it upset me.

            There was a knock at the door, and I jumped at the sound. Jonas smirked, and I hated him for it. That slight flinch had told him he had succeeded in his attempts to scare me. It was not true, of course. I had been so tense from the confrontation that the outside noise startled me. It had nothing to do with Jonas. But that was not what he thought.

            "That's right, bitch," he murmured, then pulled away quickly, walking to the door.

            My skin crawled from the encounter, and I shivered convulsively.

            _Son of a bitch!_ I thought angrily. I did hate him. Some deep, distant part of me, at that moment, would not have been sorry to see him shoot up a dose that would take him to the grave.

            "Oh. Hi, Jonas. Is Kenshin here?" Sano's familiar voice broke through my rage, and I pushed away from the wall. I passed the door and managed a curt wave toward my friend. While I went to my bed, he pushed past Jonas and entered the room. "Kenshin! You'll never guess! I met this girl today. I mean, she was _gorgeous_--Kenshin?"

            I glanced at him briefly, then returned to picking up the magazine Jonas had left on my bed--_YM_ magazine. Very nice. I flipped it to the top bunk. My hands were shaking, and I would have given my left arm for a smoke.

            "She's a pre-med student," Sano continued cautiously. "I met her on the bus..."

            "That's nice," I mumbled noncommittally, barely hearing his words. He continued, and I straightened my comforter, contemplating washing my sheets after Jonas had lounged on them. At the very least, my pillowcase needed changing. I nodded absently at what Sano was saying, oblivious to the meaning behind the words coming from his mouth. Then, something he said clicked, and I snapped to attention.

            "We did _not!_" I growled with indignant fury.

            "Just making sure you were paying attention." The words were light, but his expression was dark. My mind was still balking at the comment he made involving me and Jonas alone in this room. I was just glad Jonas had left the room, or we would have had some serious cussing on our hands.

            "So... Kenshin," Sano stood back as I went to my closet, retrieving a clean pillowcase. "Party in my room tonight."

            "I think I'll pass," I smirked over my shoulder at him. After all, I knew what kind of parties _he_ liked. If the CA knew about them, he would throw a fit.

            "It won't be the same without you," Sano protested.

            "Why not?" I chuckled. "What kind of party is it that my presence would be so vital?"

            "A party that consists of me, you, and an old classic," he declared.

            "If you pull out one of those nasty films--" I groaned.

            "_Lethal Weapon_," he held up his hands in a conciliatory manner. "The first one. Nothing bad, I promise."

            I had to laugh. Trust Sano to come up with something when I was down. He knew Jonas and I had argued, but, as usual, he opted not to comment.

            "Grab your pillow and PJ's, Kenshin," Sano called as he walked out of the room.

            That meant I was spending the night in his room. That was fine by me. I never would have been able to fall asleep with Jonas in the same room as I was that night anyway.

            Half an hour later, I was settled on the floor in Sano's room. Less than an hour into the movie, I lost track of the plot and closed my eyes. I stretched out on my stomach, buried my face in my pillow, and fell asleep.

^_^

            I liked to go running in the afternoons. If it was too cold or rainy, I would go to the track. Nice days, I ran over the Washington Avenue bridge and around the east bank. It was nice to jog through the park and across the mall and interesting to stop to inspect the construction that was going on all over campus.

            One afternoon, I jogged past the man on his soapbox and around the crowds surrounding him. He shouted about our savior Jesus Christ and the evils of the world. I'd like to introduce him to my roommate. But he was soon behind me, and I made my way around the Physics building and headed toward the Armory.

            It was at about that time when Sano saw me.

            "Kenshin!"

            Stopping abruptly, I turned to see where Sano was. The brown-haired man waved at me from the bicycle racks, and I jogged over to him. That made me curious, actually. Sano did not ride bikes. As far as I knew, he never learned how to ride bicycle. He liked to walk or take the bus.

            "Sorry to interrupt your jog," Sano smirked.

            "What's up, Sano?" I waved off the apology carelessly. "Waiting for someone?"

            "Actually, I am," he said proudly, then sagged a bit. "She should have been here forty minutes ago."

            Blinking in alarm, I managed a weak smile.

            "I'd say you've been stood up."

            "Tch," Sano snorted. "You had lunch yet?"

            "It's almost four-thirty, Sano," I smiled.

            "So?" he stretched his hands over his head, then swung his arm down, hooking it around my neck. "That means it's almost time for the cafeteria to open."

            "I want to finish my run," I protested as he pulled me along down the sidewalk.

            "There's a Burger King not too far away from here," Sano said suggestively. "You could run there."

            "I hate Burger King!" I reminded him. Sano already knew that. He did not know _why_ I hated Burger King, but he knew I never ate there. "And you just want me to pay for your food."

            "I suggested the cafeteria first," he pointed out.

            "For god's sake!" I continued to complain, but I was laughing by that point. I never could resist Sano when he was like this. No one could. Sano got more free meals out of Katsu than he ate at the cafeteria--where he had a meal plan.

            Twenty minutes later, we reached the cafeteria. It would have taken me less than half the time to get there, but Sano did not want to run. Lazy, lazy, lazy. Well, at least he did not insist upon riding the bus.

Sano went straight for the grease. It was cheeseburgers and French fries that day. I took one look at the so-called sirloin steak and decided I would make a sandwich. Peanut butter was always safer anyway.

            Dinner was uneventful. Our conversations ranged from dull and ordinary to strange and humorous in a very juvenile way. If nothing else could be said, Sano was always good for a laugh.

            We were still laughing and talking about nothing when we walked through the lobby to the elevators. Twelve floors, about seven hundred occupants, and there were only two elevators. What's that? 350 to an elevator? I wanted to throttle every person who got onto that elevator with the destination of second floor. _Second floor!_ If a person could not handle one flight of stairs, then he had better be in a wheelchair or carrying something unwieldy.

            I was following Sano into the elevator when a woman called out.

            "Hold the elevator!"

            Of course, I paused, blocking the elevator door to keep it from closing while the woman hurried across the lobby. I did not recognize her. She was pretty, I had to give her that. Her dark hair was long, not a strand out of place, her features fine, and her make-up applied to perfection. But as the old saying goes: Beauty is only skin deep. This woman was scary!

            "Hey, rooster-boy!" she snapped as soon as the elevator door closed.

            Sano knew the lady, apparently.

            "M-Megumi?!" he stared at her in shock. "How'd you--"

            "You idiot!" she glared at him. Goodness, but she was into the name-calling. "I told you five o'clock!"

            "Five?" Sano blinked dumbly. That, in itself, was not uncommon. He was always easy to befuddle. I did that to him frequently when he wandered into subjects I did not care to discuss. "You said four!"

            I got the picture. This was the girl Sano was talking about earlier. What was her name again?

            "Never mind," the woman waved off the misunderstanding although it was clear she was still somewhat irked. "Is this kid your friend?"

            Kid? I frowned. People always did that to me. If they did not mistake me for a girl, then they thought I was years younger than I was. On the flip side, I got into the State Fair at the children's rate.

            "That's Kenshin," Sano introduced me then. "Kenshin, this is Megumi. The one I told you about."

            "The pre-med student you met on the bus," I recalled, trying not to cringe as I stuck out my hand and smiled. "It's nice to meet you."

            "Likewise," Megumi took my hand and smiled slyly at me. "I never thought it possible."

            "Thought what possible?" Sano asked. It was a bait, and apparently the fish were biting. Megumi never broke eye contact with me--although it was making me squirm--as she answered.

            "You have friends who are both attractive _and_ gentlemanly," she declared.

            I wanted my hand back. Sano was glaring daggers at Megumi and me over that one. My face felt warm, and I silently cursed my easy blush.

            "Uh... Thank you, Megumi," I said as politely as I could manage.

            The elevator slowed and stopped, the doors sliding open with a soft ding. I retreated into the hallway, babbling something to the effect that I had to go to my room. I promised to meet the pair in the lounge for a homework session. From Sano's ramblings the day before, I already knew Megumi was in her first year of college. Coincidentally, we were in the same math level. We had different class times, but it was with the same professor. After fall semester, Sano was officially a sophomore, but when it came to math, he could not tell a proof from a derivative. He had to take extra math to get to college level calculus.

            It was with relief that I left the two. They immediately started bickering--something about Sano's hair. Strange how Sano spoke of this woman like the sun shined out of her ass when it was just him and me, but the instant she appeared, he was callous and slower than usual. Then again, from what I saw, she had quite the sharp wit. I was certainly no match for her tongue, and I made a mental note to avoid getting into a word war with her.

            I was in high spirits that afternoon as I walked back to my room. Although he had harassed me less than a day earlier, I had not thought of Jonas since running into Sano. In fact, my mind jumped right past the math homework I swore I'd finish before the weekend to the next day. Sano had cleared his schedule and informed me that we were going to the Uptown theatre for whatever movie was playing. What it was, I had not clue, but it promised to be fun. Of course, Megumi was invited to go, so I would have to be careful there, but that was fine with me.

            Jonas was sitting on my bed when I walked into the room, his nose in a Martha Stewart article. By the glaze of his eyes, it was obvious he was not entirely there. I doubted he knew the subject of that article he was supposedly reading. I would have to be careful.

            "Hello, Jonas," I greeted mildly, going straight to my desk to pick up my math book. It was not there. I stared at the desktop, wondering just what had happened to the book. I knew I had put it _right there_ on the desk. "Jonas?"

            "What do you want, fuck'n priss," he replied flatly. I tried not to wince, dreading any conversation with him as he was.

            "Have you seen my math book?" My eyes drifted around the room as I asked. "It was on my..." I stared at his desk, directly across the room from mine. There it was. It looked strange. "My desk."

            "'s only good for fuck'n scrap," Jonas had the strangest little smile on his face. I snatched up the book from his desk. I could tell what was wrong the instant it was in my hands. It was far too light. Heart pounding, I flipped the book open and stared at the ruined pages of the text. More than half of them were missing. The remaining pages were shredded to uselessness.

            _Obnoxious bastard!_ I clutched the book so tightly that my fingers went momentarily numb. I dropped the book, whirling to glare at Jonas.

            "You son of a bitch," I growled, so mad I could barely form a coherent thought. "Do you think this is _funny?_"

            Jonas was on his feet a few seconds later, glaring down at me coldly.

            "You think it's funny to rat me out?" he replied finally.

            "I didn't tell anyone anything, you pompous shithead," I shot back, beyond furious. "If someone knows, then it's because you're too stupid to hide it!"

            He hissed as if I had said something that actually surprised him. His blue eyes widened, his dilated pupils giving him a wild, frightening visage. I suddenly had a very bad feeling. Unfortunately, he did not give me time to adjust to that feeling.

            I choked and automatically grabbed for the hands around my throat. Trying in vain to take a breath, I grappled with his fingers, attempting to gain hold of any of them. He merely tightened his hold, and my vision went black with alarming speed.

            At that time, I discovered exactly how strong the survival instinct is. Although I did not know it at that exact moment, Jonas's grip had cut off the blood supply to my brain almost completely, and I was rapidly losing my grip on reality. I acted in a panic, and in hindsight, I guess I'm grateful I could even reach. He was a lot taller than me, after all.

            My knee slammed into his groin, though not with the force I would have preferred. It was enough to get him to drop me, however, and I hit his desk, then the floor before my vision started slowly filtering back. Amazing how it could disappear so quickly, then take so long to return.

            I could hear Jonas swearing up a storm in the background. I coughed, feeling fire in my throat as I attempted to breathe. Blinking rapidly and holding a hand to my neck, I finally started to understand the world again, just in time to feel a hand in my hair. I sucked in a painful gasp and scrambled to my feet to avoid the pain I knew would come with being dragged off the floor by my hair alone. It still hurt like hell.

            "_Fucking faggot!_" Jonas hissed into my ear. I snapped my elbow back into his stomach. He grunted and doubled over, incidentally dragging me with him as his hand was still tangled in my ponytail. My yelp came out an ugly squawk, hoarse and muted. Holding my ground, I shoved him away. I must have lost a handful of hair in that move, not to mention my hair band, but he stumbled away, hitting the bed and flopping onto my sheets. I was definitely going to have to wash those now.

            It occurred to me that this fight was not going to look good for either Jonas or me. Without a witness, it was his word against mine. He may have been the junkie, but I did not have the best of records myself. So it was with this in mind that I decided a little humiliation was better than getting kicked out of the dorm, if not the University.

            Jonas was still trying to figure out the difference between up and down when I reached the door. Somehow, I managed to open that door and move into the hallway without stumbling or reeling like a drunk. Behind me, Jonas was not so successful. Leaning against the wall opposite the door, I tried to catch my breath. It hurt to breathe, and my throat made these awful rasping noises, but it was better than the complete lack of oxygen I had suffered a couple minutes ago.

            Glancing around, I saw the hall was empty. It figured that the time I needed help, no one would be there. But if I wanted privacy? Hah! So I had to go out into the lounge area.

            Jonas stumbled into the hallway just as I ducked away. He hit the wall, glared at it for a few seconds as if it had committed some crime against him. I knew he had seen me, so I did not worry that he would look down a stairwell and kill himself with a careless step. Trying to still the shaking of my hands, I pulled open the door out of the wing and quickly stepped into the open area of the social lounge.

            To my left was a large, open and mostly empty room. To my right was the TV lounge, a much smaller room tucked into the side with a glass partition blocking it off from the rest of the area. At the moment, it was filled with people--maybe ten of them--watching _Just Shoot Me_ and talking over books. A couple of them glanced at me, then turned back to their activities.

            At about that time, Jonas reached me. I didn't know what to expect when I got into the lounge, but I thought I would get a bit more than that initial, nonexistent reaction from the students. Well, if they did not react before, everyone was looking when Jonas's hands hit my back, sending me stumbling forward several steps.

            "Where d'you think you're going, _freak?_" he demanded.

            He must have been soaring to be this bold. Only a complete idiot would start a fight like this out in the lounge. I had gone out there hoping he would give up and go back to the room. Jonas was so far gone he did not realize exactly what he was getting himself into. No matter what he said about people knowing about his dealings, they must not have known that much because if they did, he would have been gone by that point. If it was just suspicions, then this was going to ruin him.

            "Back off, Jonas," I snapped, wincing slightly when I spoke. My voice was rough, proving some damage had been done when he attempted to throttle me. I glared at him, daring him to come any closer.

            The idiot took up the challenge. He came at me again, his hands clumsy as he made as if to grab my shirt. That son of a bitch still had some of my hair tangled in his fingers! Out in the open, I had more room to maneuver, and I'd be damned if I let him touch me again.

            "Jonas, don't be stupid," I cautioned, easily backing out of his reach. I wondered if he could even understand me. To my ears, my words were so papery and muddled that I doubted anyone would have an easy time listening to them.

            "You always think you're so much fuckin' better'n me, you girly wuss," he glared at me. 

            If he hated me, then I hated him ten times more. I never let anyone get away with calling me names and pushing me around. The last person who had tried had ended up in the hospital for two days. But that got me into a lot of trouble, and I did not need that at this point in my life.

            Oh, but how I wanted to send him flying into a wall. Unexpectedly, a hand fell onto my shoulder, restraining me.

            "But you're just a fucking--"

            "Just a fucking what, Jonas?"

            I glanced up in surprise. Sano stood next to me, his posture tense with anger. His eyes glinted with fury. Jonas may have had six inches on Sano, but my doped up roommate knew better than to try to fight with him. Sano was a brown belt in karate and a boxer, and he looked it. It made a person wish he had the build to prove he knew how to fight. No one ever looked twice at me.

            Jonas sputtered, and I felt something brush my neck. I jerked away from the feeling automatically, nearly bumping into Sano and turning to stare at Megumi in surprise. Her eyes were dark with disapproval.

            "Kenshin, your neck," she murmured.

            "If anyone's fucked up here, it's you, Jonas," Sano growled. "Did you do that to him?"

            It was enough to make a person feel all warm and fuzzy inside when someone defended me like that. Not many people bothered. Granted, it was embarrassing.

            "Ow!" I flinched away when Megumi poked at my neck. "That hurts!"

            "Someone call security up here," Sano suggested quietly. Jonas had nowhere to go. The students in the TV lounge had all come into the main room and had blocked my roommate in. He cursed at them and sat on the floor after a few seconds. I was willing to bet his balance was not all that great.

            "Hey, Kenshin," Sano looked down at me then. "You okay?"

            "Fine," I grumbled, letting Megumi coax me into a chair.

            "Looks like that bastard tried to strangle you," Sano observed, crouching next to me and making me tilt my head so he could see the bruises on my neck. He smiled faintly, attempting a joke. "What, were you combing your hair when he decided to go all homicidal on you?"

            I smirked at his pathetic efforts and shook my head. It still hurt to talk, and I would have to do a lot of talking later, so I kept my mouth shut for the time.

            Security arrived about then, and everything was really crazy for awhile. They found the drugs in Jonas's stuff, and I had to go for some blood testing. Uncle Hiko came and yelled at the police for awhile, then came to yell at me a little longer before finally leaving.

            In the end, it turned out okay. The school arranged for Jonas's belongings to be removed, and I was to have a new roommate when the next semester began. If everyone on the floor had not already thought me to be some long-haired, wimpy freak, they certainly did after that.

            Well, at least Jonas was gone. I heard he hung himself in jail, but I later found that to be an unsubstantiated rumor. Completely untrue. Good thing, too, because I felt terribly guilty when I found I did not feel a thing when Sano told me Jonas was dead. Even knowing that bastard was still very much alive and well, I did not like that apathetic attitude. Old habits die hard, though. It would take quite some time before I could figure out how to care about what happened to others.

^_^

Notes again!: Sorry about the dramatic ending there, but it seemed to fit. Call me morbid. As for the not-so impressive fight scene, I was hoping to convey a sense of realism here. Not all fights are cool like the ones on TV. In fact, most fights are just two guys (or girls, or both) who are standing too close to each other to do any real damage. Their punches are weak and poorly aimed. This is why girl 'cat/bitch fights' are so much more entertaining. Hair pulling, scratching, biting—_these_ things can cause more visible damage.

Fitz: *dons Halloween cat costume* Mreow! Hissssss! Ffffft! Ffffft! *spit*

Okay, so this Jonas character was actually based off a person I knew, only I made him ten times worse. The person I knew was a foreign exchange student who was actually _kicked out_ of the high school because of his errant behavior. I don't know much about that, but my opinion of him was that he was an ass. This character I created was such an awful person that I could not wait to get rid of him. Thus, his short-lived appearance.

Fitz: *dramatically, in a stage whisper* People like this exist. I've _seen_ 'em!

_Sixth Sense_ kid: I see dumb people. They walk around like ordinary people. They don't know they're dumb!

*snicker* I got an email with that written on it. Too amusing.

And now! A **Random Omake!**

_Kenshin_: *narrating* One afternoon, I jogged past the man on his soapbox and around the crowds surrounding him. He shouted about our savior Jesus Christ and the evils of the world.

_Preacher man_: *hops off soapbox and starts chasing Kenshin* You the devil! You the _devil!_

_Kenshin_: O.o *flees in terror* Help!

Random Omake: Take two 

_Sano_:Kenshin, this is Katsu. Katsu, this is the kid I met at orientation.

_Katsu_: You never told me he was pretty.

_Kenshin_: *blush* You think I'm pretty?

_Katsu_: Very. Will you go out with me Saturday night?

_Kenshin_: Are you paying?

Random Omake: Take three 

_Kenshin_: *meeting Sano next to the bike rack* What's up, Sano? Waiting for someone?

_Sano_: Actually, I am. I'm uh… making a sandwich.

_Kenshin_: …

(Fitz notes that in the English dub outtakes, the VA for Sano has a thing for sandwiches. He fumbles for words and sticks in 'make a sandwich' or 'get a sandwich' or anything else involving them. I was just following suit.)

_Sano_: You know, Fitz. When you explain the joke, it's not funny anymore.

_Kenshin_: He has a point, Fitz-dono.

_Fitz_: I'm _sorry!_

_Sano_: All is forgiven. Make me a sandwich.

_Fitz_: Poof! You're a sandwich.

_Kenshin_: *groans* That was awful!

Reviewers *smirk* I love this part. *throws kisses at reviewers. Pieces of chocolate clatter to the ground* Shoot.

**Crystal**: 'Tis okay. I don't mind being confused. If I did, I would spend most of my life being annoyed.

**Jason M. Lee**: Come to think of it, I never did get to see _Tuxedo_. *shrug* I did catch the reference, and I'm not so certain how that will turn out. Things are a bit different in 21st century America. *Fitz stares in awe at auto-formatting for the numbers* Cooooool.

**Vesca**: It'll all relate somehow, but I've just got bits and pieces of this in my head that I wanted to write down, you know? I'm just posting as I get a section done, so we'll see what happens.

**Chiki**: Think typical college student. Blue jeans, oversized tee-shirt, scruffy shoes, and maybe an old sweatshirt. And that gorilla is just an oversized, furry body with floppy legs and a dopey face. *pounces gorilla and cuddles it*

**C-Chan**: This particular story is set at the University of Minnesota. How's that for a clue? (No, I don't go to the U of MN anymore. Instead, I'm going to a school that is in the middle of a lawsuit for possibly not being a 'safe environment' for teachers and students. Pfft! It's as safe as any other school!)

**marstanuki**: Because Kenshin is just plain weird. I mean _look_ at him! Tell me a guy who's eyes can change colors based on his mood is not weird. *grin* And I just love weird things.

**Gochan**: I'm trying to portray Kenshin and Sano as best friends here, so I'm glad you picked that out so easily.

**Li**: A little Omake, just for you… and anyone else who's read this far.

Sano: *spraying crumbs* You think I'm a pig?

Kenshin: Finish eating before you start talking, Sano.

Kaoru: *attempting to talk after taking a drink of Pepsi* Krnshrn's rrrrt, Srnr. *liquid dribbles down her chin*

Kenshin: Ew.

**Gypsy-chan**: Glad you like! We'll be seeing quite a bit more of Sano, just 'cause I like him so much.

**Deirdre Aingeal**: Well, I always like to keep you guys on your toes. I have a tendency to use pop and soda interchangeably, but with the context 'pop' just came a bit more natural to me. 'Pizza and pop' just flows. *sticks nose up high in the air like a stereotypical snob* Pfft! You people and your pizza and soda. Bar_bar_ians! *wild, maniacal giggling*


	5. Study time and discussions

Disclaimer: *check other chapters of this and every other story I've ever posted*

Notes: Hello again! Well, this is going to be a two-part deal. Maybe three. It depends on if I really get going on it or not. A weird chapter, this. Cutesy and sometimes depressing and (hopefully) somewhat amusing. For all of you Kaoru lovers, she has returned! *Trumpets  blare*

Warnings: Transvestite sighting. No, it's not Kenshin.

Kenshin: *strutting around in a skirt and high heels* *_Trip_* _OW!_ Son of a CENSORED!

Fitz: o.O That pair of shoes looks _terrible_ with that skirt!

Kenshin: Who made you the fashion god? *is wearing orange shoes and pink paisley*

Whoa. Talk about tasteless. Sorry. On with the story.

My Life

            I was tired through most of fall semester my sophomore year. Strange as that sounded, that was the only way I could describe it. Tired and somewhat nauseated. My daily runs turned to twice-weekly jogs then eventually stopped altogether. Sano yelled at me because I did not eat much when we went to dinner together. He really would have been mad if he had known I was not eating lunch or breakfast either. I ate enough to keep from losing too much weight.

            That might have been part of the reason why I initially found Kaoru so irritating. What person wants to see someone so exuberant when all he wants is to close his eyes and nap? She grated on my nerves. Even after we forged a shaky friendship, I found her annoying. Strangely, Kaoru seemed to sense this, and she toned down a bit after those first couple weeks.

            A few weeks after I had fallen ill, I found myself offering to hold a study session in my room. The creative writing professor had a fetish for history, and he wanted us to write a short story based in a certain time period. Each group had a different period, and within the group, each person had a different place. Our group had the 1940's. I was stuck with Russia, of all the possible countries. I could have had Germany, but Kaoru got that. Japan? Misao got lucky there. Omasu got England. The United States was not a choice.

            "It was really good of you to let us come here, Kenshin," Omasu said politely as she and Misao filed into my room. I just shrugged in response to that. What was I supposed to say? To be perfectly honest, it was the most logical place to do this. The three of them all had roommates who would just be bothered by our presence. As I had coughed up the extra money for a single room, that problem was nonexistent.

            "There's pop in the fridge," I offered, gesturing to my tiny fridge in the corner. Personally, I needed some caffeine. We did not get to start this session until after nine, since Omasu had a job at a local restaurant and worked until eight-thirty. I had been up since four-thirty, and I was tired. Again, I cursed my insomnia. Then, I picked up a Mountain Dew and took a deep swallow.

            "Can I sit on the futon?" Misao asked brightly, then plopped herself down without waiting for an answer. She grimaced and doubled forward, pushing at the cushion curiously. "This has got to be the cheapest futon I've ever seen! Where'd you get it? Target?"

            "K-Mart," I replied stiffly. She whistled as if that was the most mind-shattering thing she had heard in a long time. It probably was. There was not a lot of excitement to be had when your life revolved around four classes a semester.

            "Whatever works, I guess," she giggled. "Oh, Kenshin! This is too funny!"

            Oh dear. She had located the gorilla. I knew I was blushing, but there was not much to be done about that. Instead, I just snatched up the huge stuffed animal and dropped it on my bed.

            "Let's get started," I suggested.

            "Without me?" Kaoru asked from the doorway. I smiled politely.

            "Obviously not, since you were here when I suggested it," I gestured into the room. "And close the door. Unless you want all the guys in this wing sticking their heads in and ogling you."

            "Doesn't Aoshi have a room in this wing?" Misao asked, and Kaoru swatted the girl playfully before sitting beside her. Misao barely noticed, and I swear, she had hearts in her eyes as she clasped her hands together dramatically. "Aoshi would _never_ be so crude!"

            Did I mention that Misao was a theatre major?

            "So!" Kaoru said, overly loud. "The nineteen-forties! World War II, right?"

            Not exactly subtle, but she got the point across. I grabbed my notebook and folder, digging out the files I had printed off the internet, and sat on the floor next to Omasu.

            It went like most study sessions did. We studied about half the time and spent the other half goofing off and talking. I let Kaoru get on my computer to look up a few things online. That soon deteriorated, and she was surfing the net for useless things. She found a painting she had always wanted on e-bay. I talked her out of buying it. The thing was bidding at over two thousand dollars, for god's sake! How many college students could afford that?

            Exhausted from arguing with Kaoru, I fell onto my bed. I picked up a book I had found in the library and started flipping through the pages for the chapter I knew was there.

            About twenty minutes later, I became aware of soft giggling around me. I tried to ignore it at first. If those girls were checking out sites that made them crack up like that, then I probably did not want to see it.

            "Awww!" Giggle, giggle. "Would you look at that!" More giggling. "That's so cute!"

            It was getting annoying. Were they looking at pictures of baby animals? I've seen girls do that. I didn't get it, but if that was it, rather than something else--something... girl-oriented--then maybe it was not such a bad idea to see what was happening.

            "_Shhhhh!_" Hushed giggling. "Quiet! You'll wake him up!"

            No way. I blinked, slowly focusing on the white page in front of my face. Remarkably close to my face, actually. My cheek was pressed to the page of the book.

            Damn it all! I fell asleep when there were people in my room! And the girls had not been talking about some web site. How could I not have noticed something like that?

            A light flashed.

            _I'll kill them!_

            "Hey!" I was awake in an instant, pushing to my hands and knees quickly, despite the book's page trying to stick to my face. "What was that?!"

            Kaoru was holding a camera, that little twerp. It did not take a genius to figure out where that flashing light had come from. Despite my outward display of irritation, I was a bit bewildered. I wondered where Kaoru had come across that camera, and my brain refused to acknowledge the fact that I had actually fallen asleep.

            "It's a photo-op, Kenshin!" Kaoru giggled. "Smile for the camera!"

            In a fit of immaturity, I stuck my tongue out at her. To my horror, the camera flashed again.

            "Kaoru!"

            "Strike a pose, Kenshin!" Misao squealed.

            Kaoru giggled crazily as I leapt off the bed and lunged at her. She shied just out of my reach, and I had to hop onto the futon to avoid toppling over it. Twisting, I jumped after the girl. It was not difficult to catch her. In a room that was barely large enough to fit the four of us, there were not a lot of places for Kaoru to go.

            "_Hah!_" I caught her from behind, wrapping one of my arms around her waist while my other hand reached for that camera. Of course, what I would do once I _had_ the camera, I had yet to decide. Not that it mattered. While I was busy with Kaoru, Misao took the opportunity to snatch the camera from Kaoru's hand. I growled in frustration.

            "You can't win against three girls, Kenshin!" Misao laughed, then blinked as she looked around blankly. "Uh... two girls. Where's Omasu?"

            "I think--" Kaoru gasped out between giggling. "I think she went to the bathroom!"

            "I think I can handle two to one," I said with a smirk, releasing Kaoru and moving after Misao.

            I got two steps before Kaoru grabbed my wrist. Twisting to pull away, I received my greatest surprise when she twisted right back and sent me sprawling to the floor. Two seconds later, I was flat on my back, staring up incredulously at the girls hovered over me. Both were grinning from ear to ear, and they took advantage of my surprise to pin me down. Kaoru sat on my stomach and leaning much of her weight on my shoulders. Misao had my arms trapped over my head.

            "If only we could get a picture of _this_," Misao laughed.

            "Well, you can't," I squirmed a bit, struggling against the combined strength of the girls. I squinted suspiciously at Kaoru. "Fancy move there, Kaoru. Where'd you learn it?"

            "Ju Jitsu," she said with a sweet smile. "My family owns one of the only dojos in the US. I've been studying since I was five."

            "I might have known," I sighed, settling down. If she had been practicing that long, then she would beat me every time. I was pretty good, but the break in my studying had cut me back several years. Besides, at the moment, I was just too exhausted to attempt the escape. "What do I have to do to convince you two to let me up?"

            "What do you think, Misao?" Kaoru asked teasingly.

            "Oh, something that will be really difficult for him!" Misao said mischievously.

            "Something really embarrassing?" Kaoru suggested. I was getting impatient, and I showed it by tugging against the grip Misao had on my wrists. She just pushed them down harder against the floor.

            "We can hold it over his head later as blackmail," Misao nodded.

            "Would you hurry it up?" I demanded, still struggling a bit in their grip. I really was not comfortable in that position. "Kaoru's getting heavy. I can barely breathe!"

            "Something really painful," Kaoru added. Okay, maybe it would have been wiser not to involve Kaoru's weight in my comments.

            "What are you two doing to Kenshin?" Omasu asked as she returned to the room.

            "We're trying to decide something for him to do," Kaoru said brightly.

            "Something so embarrassing, he'll never want to tell anyone about it," Misao explained. "Something really hard--"

            "And painful!" Kaoru interjected.

            "In exchange for us letting him go," Misao concluded.

            "Oh! Let's make him sing!" Omasu jumped right in.

            "Traitor!" I grumbled.

            "I've already heard him sing," Kaoru shook her head. _Double traitor!_ "Let's do something else."

            "Make him tell us his deepest, darkest secret!" Misao giggled. "Do you dye your hair, Kenshin?"

            "That's not a deep, dark secret, and no, I don't," I grumbled, a bit uneasy at that last suggestion. I just hoped they did not notice my immediate reaction to Misao's suggestion. Not that they could force me to confess anything, but the mere mention caused the blood to drain from my face.

            "Oh! I have an idea!" Kaoru smiled ferally.

^_^

            It was painful, although not all that embarrassing. The difficult part was sitting still while three girls surrounded me with their giggling and cosmetic items. No, they did not put make-up on me, thank the heavens. What was painful, though, was all the pulling and tugging and twisting of my hair.

            Yes, I let them do my hair. I have never understood the fascination behind it. I mean... it's just hair. Just because mine was down to my waist--so was Kaoru's. Her hair was not quite that long, but really close. Maybe it was the gender factor. Guys, in general, did not have long hair. Yeah... maybe that was it.

            "Oh, my god!" Omasu gasped at one point that evening.

            We blinked at her uncertainly. My blink was actually to get rid of the pained tears that were in my eyes. Those three had pulled hard on my hair, and they were not done yet.

            "It's one-thirty!" she pointed at my alarm clock.

            "So?" Misao grinned. "It's Friday. Who cares?"

            "We can't walk across the bridge at this time of night!" Omasu pointed out.

            "All three of you live on the other bank, don't you?" I asked, wincing as Misao worked out a particularly nasty tangle. "Careful!"

            "With all the talk about students disappearing and... stuff," Kaoru flushed, and I knew exactly to what she was referring. "I don't really want to walk that distance at this time either. But we'll, uh... there'll be three of us."

            A chivalrous man would have offered to walk them back to their dorms at that point. After all, a man's presence was usually enough to deter many would-be kidnappers and rapists. Most men looked like men in the darkness. My hair was in twin braids down my back, I was barely taller than Kaoru, and I had more men flirt with me than women.

            "You can stay here tonight," I offered before I could pause to think about it a little more.

            "Really?" Misao giggled.

            "Are you sure, Kenshin?" Kaoru looked at me cautiously. "We don't want to bother you."

            "I can't let you walk alone around the city at this time of night," I shrugged, absently fiddling with the fuzzy purple thing that was wrapped around the end of the braid over my right shoulder. "You won't bother me."

            "All _right!_" Misao squealed and flung her arms around my neck from behind. "Slumber party!"

            "Where do we sleep?" Omasu wondered.

            I looked around. There was the bed, the futon... that was about it. The floor? It looked like I was going to have to be chivalrous after all.

            "Someone can take the bed," I suggested. "That futon can pull down to make a space big enough for two, and... and I'll take the floor."

            "Kenshin, you don't have to give up your bed!" Omasu broke in quickly.

            "I'll be fine," I shrugged, pulling away from their hair-styling fingers to go dig in my closet. "I've got some extra sheets and blankets... and some extra towels..." I glanced at them with an uncertain frown. "If you want, I can check with some of the girls in the other wing to see if they'll let you use their showers."

            "You mean we can't use yours?" Misao blinked at me with false innocence. "It's a single shower, isn't it?"

            "All of the bathrooms in here are," I chuckled. "But I have to share that bath with Chou and Kamatari. They're not known to let a locked door stop them from entering if they want to use the bathroom."

            "Talking from experience here, Kenshin?" Kaoru teased.

            "Kamatari has a nasty habit of walking in when someone's bathing," I admitted. "He, uh..." Wow, that was an embarrassing subject. I don't know why I had to continue, but I did. "He takes a bit longer getting ready in the morning than the other guys on the floor."

            "Why?" Misao wondered.

            "Getting his hair styled..." I could not believe I was talking about this. "Kamatari is very... meticulous about his appearance."

            "Sounds like the girl in the room next to mine," Misao observed, rolling her eyes. "She wears more make-up than a clown."

            "Kamatari doesn't wear _that_ much make-up," I muttered, then clapped my hand over my mouth. I had not meant to actually say that aloud.

            "I've _got_ to meet this guy," Misao snorted. Kaoru and Omasu just laughed.

            "I'm sure you will," I groaned, blinking as I realized I was just standing there. I returned to pulling blankets from the shelf. "I've got some clothes that might work if anyone is uncomfortable sleeping in their day clothes."

            We settled down pretty quickly after that. Kaoru took the bed while Omasu and Misao figured out the best way to sleep on the futon. I let Kaoru use my pillow, but I took the gorilla in its place. Misao raided my movie collection and pulled out _Star Wars_, popping it into the player while we got ready for bed. Kaoru and Omasu both opted to borrow some of my old clothes--tee-shirts and boxers--to sleep in, and I wore a sweatshirt and flannel pants. It got really cold on that floor.

            "Too bad we can't use your toothbrush, too," Misao giggled, poking fun at how I was so liberal with my belongings.

            "The toothpaste you can use," I replied wearily, adjusting the pillow-like stuffed animal behind my head. It wasn't exactly like a pillow. Most pillowcases don't have fur. "The toothbrush is mine and mine alone."

            "Are you _sure_ you don't want the bed, Kenshin?" Kaoru asked anxiously.

            "I'm fine," I sighed. Already my eyelids were starting to droop. I heard R2-D2 blip-beeping in the background. A quiet, _"We're doomed!"_ and some explosions. "Just stay up there..."

            I might have said more, but I did not notice. My brain had shut down and shoved me into sleep. The last thing I remember hearing before I drifted away completely was Princess Leia, begging Obi Wan Kanobe for help.

^_^

            Five-thirty rolled around, and I was awake. Less than three and a half hours of sleep that night. Coarse fur tickled my nose, and I dragged my hand up to block it. I opened my eyes to stare dully at the black fuzz that covered my stuffed animal-turned-pillow.

            With a heavy sigh, I pushed myself to my feet, letting the blankets lay where they fell. For a few seconds I just stood there, waiting for the room to stop spinning and my stomach to relax in its restless churning. Dehydration and exhaustion always took their toll. My head pounded from sleeping on the floor--barely softer than concrete.

            Two minutes later, I had finished most of a bottle of water and swallowed three aspirin. I stood in my closet, facing the drawers, countertop, and mirror, staring at my shadowed reflection.

            I looked like hell. My hair was still pulled tight in those god-awful braids, making me look downright gaunt. Red-rimmed eyes stared back at me, bloodshot from lack of sleep. The pounding in my skull increased momentarily, and I stifled a groan, sliding down the wall at my back to sit on the floor. Folding my arms over my knees, I curled forward, willing the pain away.

            A knock on the door made me blink and lift my head. The hammering headache had faded considerably, but my body was stiff. It was almost as if I had sat in that position for more than a few seconds. And who in their right mind would be up and about at five-thirty on a Saturday morning? No one I knew.

            Scrambling to my feet, despite the protest of my cramped limbs, I flipped the lock and yanked open the door. I stared up at Sano in shock. The man was even fully dressed and ready to face the day. He was never awake before noon on Saturday!

            "Sano?" I blinked at him dumbly. "Is something wrong?"

            He grinned, a bit confused looking, and shook his head.

            "Why would anything be wrong?" he replied. He raised an eyebrow at me, eyes traveling over my pajama-clad body curiously. "Why aren't you dressed yet? We were going to hit the slopes today, remember? And what the hell did you do to your hair?"

            I stared at him.

            "What time is it?"

            "Nine-oh-two, according to your alarm clock," Kaoru's voice rose behind me, thick with a yawn. "Oh! Hello, Sanosuke."

            "Hi, Kaoru," Sano's eyes were wide with surprise. "Kenshin, should I come back--"

            "Don't even say it!" I interrupted quickly, self-consciously unbraiding my hair. "I'll be ready in twenty minutes. Come on in, Sano."

            Grinning in great amusement, Sano sauntered into the room, glancing down at the blankets on the floor and over at the two on the futon who were slowly waking.

            "Three!" he observed.

            "Get your head out of the gutter, Sano," I grumbled, glaring at my hair. It was crimped and wavy from having been in braids for so long. "We were studying last night."

            "Studying the mechanics of hair styling?" Sano teased.

            "We could probably braid _your_ hair, Sanosuke," Kaoru offered, making me grin as I pulled out my toothbrush. She reached up and brushed her fingers across his hair lightly, making him flinch.

            "No way!" he held up his hands defensively. "If Kenshin wants to get in touch with his feminine side, then that's fine with me. Just leave me out of it."

            I was not grinning anymore. Grumbling under my breath, I stalked out of the room, across the hall to the bathroom. Kamatari was already there, calmly applying lipstick. There would be no accessing that mirror for the next twenty minutes.

            "'Morning, Kamatari," I greeted, reaching in front of him to wet my toothbrush.

            "Good morning, sweetheart," Kamatari smiled brightly. He blinked as he got a closer look at me. "Goodness! What did you do to your hair?" As if I could answer while I had a toothbrush in my mouth. So I shrugged and continued to scrub away at my teeth. "Did you try one of those wash-in perms? Next time you want to try something like that, leave it to the professionals."

            I spat in the sink.

            "My hair was in braids all night, Kamatari," I explained, then shoved my toothbrush back into my mouth. Kamatari blinked, looking rather comical with one eye made up and the other devoid of cosmetics. He did not use much, actually. It was more tasteful than many girls I had seen. I sometimes liked to watch as he applied mascara. Talk about daring, putting stuff like that so close to his eyes.

            "Thank god!" Kamatari laughed. "I'd hate to see your hair like that all the time, sweetheart."

            Although I was a bit leery of the transvestite, he was a nice guy. He treated me with nothing but the utmost respect, merely demanding the same in return. That was simple enough. Sometimes he would drop in while I was studying in my room, and I would listen while he talked about anything and everything. Those times were really nice.

            "How've you been feeling lately, sweetheart?" Kamatari threw his arm around my shoulders and squeezed lightly. "You look tired."

            After I finished with my teeth, I finally lifted my head and smiled at his reflection.

            "I stayed up pretty late last night," I told him. "I'm going skiing with Sano this afternoon. You want to come?"

            "And wreck this masterpiece?" Kamatari fluffed his hair dramatically. I smiled and shook my head. He gave me a mournful look, reaching up to tug on a lock of my hair. "Come see me later. I'll fix this for you."

            "Maybe," I allowed, backing out of the room. "See you later, Kamatari."

            "Be careful on those slopes, sweetheart!" he called after me as I walked back into my room.

            "Sweetheart?" Kaoru asked with a sly smile.

            I had long since gotten over my embarrassment where Kamatari was involved. A month of blushing every time he called me 'sweetheart' had been enough. It occurred to me that I was lucky he deemed me worthy of his pet names. He only ever used them for people he liked.

            "That's just Kamatari," Sano leaned against the wall, blocking the path from the main room to my closet. I ducked behind him, digging through a drawer for some warm, comfortable clothes. He would stand there until I finished dressing, I knew, saving me from having to change in the bathroom. "He's... a little off."

            "He have a thing for Kenshin?" Misao giggled.

            "Misao!" Omasu gasped. That girl was so easily scandalized.

            "Kamatari's not interested in Kenshin," Sano laughed. "He's made it a point not to make any advances on the guys here."

            The conversation dwindled then, and I rapidly finished changing. After tugging my hair into a low ponytail, I examined my reflection once more. It was better than it had been earlier. Apparently, three hours of sleeping in the closet was enough to perk up my appearance. My face was still a bit pale, and I still felt a bit sick, but overall, it was a great improvement.

            I gave Kaoru the spare key to my room on the condition that she return it Monday in class, and Sano dragged me off to his car. Nine-thirty-three--according to his dashboard clock--and we were on our way to a day at Afton Alps.

^_^

            I did not remember arriving back at the dorms that Saturday night. Nor did I recall walking from Sano's car up to my room. What I could remember was getting into the car and drifting away somewhere between Afton and the highway. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in bed, early Sunday morning.

            Sano swore on his mother's grave that I had walked under my own power to my room. No one gave me funny looks--no more than usual, anyway--the following days, so he was probably telling the truth. I had been sleep walking. That was better than thinking Sano had carried me. My face heated just thinking about that. I didn't need that!

            So when I opened my eyes at four-seventeen Sunday morning, I was a bit disoriented. The park closed at eleven, so I figured I was at about five hours of sleep. It was better than some nights. Considering that I had not bathed since Friday, I felt dirty. Despite the hour, I wandered out to the bathroom with a towel and hopped into the shower.

            The hot water spray was relaxing, soothing my achy muscles and warming that chill that had settled in me the instant I had stepped out into the cold of late fall. Winter was not my favorite of seasons. It was with great effort that I managed to tolerate all that snow and cold. That and years of Uncle Hiko shoving me out the door to shovel the driveway despite my intense aversion to the icy white stuff. When I had a job and a suitable income, I fully intended to move someplace warm. Damn the winter anyway.

            Quite some time later, I was wrapped in warm flannel and soft cotton, and I wandered out into the TV lounge. The early morning news had just begun, so I picked a channel and let it play. Outside it was snowing. It was difficult to see in the dark, but upon closer inspection, the movement of the falling flakes was evident. I stared out the window, completely zoned out for awhile.

            "Hey, Kenshin!"

            I jerked in surprise, looking over my shoulder to see Chou's familiar outline in the glass doorway. He grinned.

            "What are you doing up so early?" I wondered, glancing at the time on the news. According to that number below Peter Jennings, it was five-thirty.

            "_You're_ up early," Chou snorted. "_I_ am up extraordinarily late!"

            "You haven't gone to bed yet?" Crazy guy.

            "No sir!" Chou smirked. "You up for the day?"

            "Probably."

            "Well, come on then," he gestured toward the nearby hallway. "You might as well see what Kamatari looks like without all his make-up on."

            I had to smile. Turning off the TV, I got up and followed Chou back to his room.

            Something kind of scary happened in the hallway between the TV lounge and Chou's room. I was walking along after the tall blond when everything around me seemed to fall away. Chou was suddenly far more than a few steps in front of me, the walls curling out bizarrely, and worst of all, the floor tilting down like those ski slopes of the previous day.

            Needless to say, this startled me a bit. I stopped and stood still, swaying a bit on my feet as the hall continued to tilt crazily. My stomach lurched, and I bit my lip to stave off the resulting motion sickness.

            Then, the world snapped back to its normal parameters, and I was left there, trembling and sweaty. My breath was ragged in my chest, stomach still churning restlessly. In other words, I felt pretty sick and just a tad bit alarmed.

            "Hey, slowpoke," Chou glanced at me as he unlocked his door, some distance away. "You coming?"

            I belonged in bed, I thought. But Chou was waiting for me to make a decision, and I was feeling a little lonely. Smiling shakily, I nodded and followed him into the room.

^_^

            After the one episode, early that Sunday morning, nothing else happened. It was a relief, and I decided it must have been my lack of sleep and decent food that did it. Life went on like normal.

            Kaoru came over later that week. I had since discovered she was very good with politics, and she had agreed to help me study for my World Governments class. It was something new. I had never had a tutor before. So one Wednesday evening, Kaoru walked around my room, drilling me on the chapters I had studied while I sat on my bed, wearily answering as much as I could.

            When we decided I would not learn anything more that evening, we took a break and went to dinner with Sano. Afterwards, we went back up to my room to work on homework together. I was farther along in math than she was, but for the most part, she was ahead. It made sense, considering she had opted for Post Secondary her senior year in high school and I had barely gotten enough credits to _pass_ high school. But _damn_ did it make me feel dumb.

            "She's pretty."

            Blinking to clear my eyes of graphs and vectors, I looked up to see Kaoru standing by a shelf in the corner of my room. That was the section of this cell that I put things I wanted with me but did not want to look at unless I needed them. At the moment, Kaoru was staring at the two 5-by-7 pictures I had framed and sitting on the shelf. I knew which one she was looking at.

            "She your girlfriend?" Kaoru asked curiously.

            "Uh... no," I frowned and looked back down at my math homework. "She was... um... my sister."

            "Was?" Kaoru asked, then checked herself. "I'm sorry. That's not my business."

            "That's okay," I assured her, but I did not lift my head. It really was not okay. I did not want to talk about Tomoe. So I concluded with, "She died a few years ago," and hoped Kaoru took the hint and kept her mouth shut.

            "Oh... uh..." she was searching for a way to recover. "Um... are these your parents?"

            Yeah. That was much better.

            "Yeah, they were."

            "I'm just slopping this up, aren't I?" Kaoru sighed.

            "Don't worry about it, Kaoru," I managed a weak smile at her. "My parents died when I was really little. I barely remember them."

            "But your sister?" Kaoru asked anxiously.

            I looked away. Why did she have to go and press the issue? The girl was dead. Issue at an end. Period.

            "I was fifteen," I said curtly. "Of course I remember her."

            "I'm sorry," Kaoru murmured. "I didn't mean..."

            Please, _please_ just drop it, I silently begged. I looked at her, my stare as flat and cold as I could manage. She shut her mouth and quickly put down the picture of Tomoe. Good. I turned back to my work, willing that lump in my throat to go away. I would not be able to look over into that corner of my room for a month. Desperately, I prayed Kaoru would not say anything more.

            She sat down next to me and was quiet. For quite some time, Kaoru poked away at her physics homework, diligent as could be. I stared at my math, my mind perfectly blank. It was kind of nice. Granted, I was not getting my homework done.

            "Kenshin," Kaoru started hesitantly. "Would you like to talk about it?"

            Damn it. That lump settled in my throat again, choking off anything I might have said. All I could do was shake my head and reach to turn my calculator back on. Unfortunately, Kaoru was not so easily deterred.

            "You know, it might help," she offered. "If you tell someone--"

            "Excuse me," I interrupted her, scrambling to my feet. My voice was horribly thick, almost to the point of incoherence. It was very embarrassing. Kaoru gave me a startled look as I ran out of the room, across the hall, and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

            I would rather not recall that brief time I spent there. It was completely miserable. No, I did not cry, nor did I get sick. Almost, but not quite. Almost cry? Or almost get sick? Both.

            Kaoru was worried. I could see it in her eyes when I finally returned to my room. Surely my face was still pale. My hands shook, so I let them hang loose at my sides to hide it. I muttered some implausible excuse involving the call of nature to Kaoru, said I was tired--which was not really a lie--and sent her packing. She looked like she wanted to stay, but I was determined to be alone. I shut the door on her protest before she could get the words out.

            I slept a total of perhaps twenty-five minutes that night.

^_^

            Kaoru acted really strange after that study night. For some reason, I found myself feeling a bit like the proverbial sleeping dog. She was letting me lie on my past issues, quietly prancing around them whenever we spoke. Fine, but she also seemed perpetually nervous, her smile forced, laughter nonexistent--at least, while I was around. Thank god we only saw each other three times a week--one hour at a time. I never would have tolerated it otherwise. Talk about making a guy feel awkward.

            This behavior went on for about two weeks, actually. At one time it would not have bothered me. Too bad that time was past. It drove me _nuts_.

            So it was late one afternoon during the second week when I was walking to my room, trying to ignore that nagging feeling inside of me that just screamed '_KAORU!_' that the door to Kamatari and Chou's room was open. Curiosity got the better of me, and I glanced in while walking past it.

            Kamatari was inside, sitting on his bed and reading out of a textbook. As if sensing my stare, he looked up and smiled at me. Without a word, he looked back to his book. After flipping his page, he lifted his hand to point at the empty space on his bed. I took the invitation and entered, dropping my bag on the floor and settling down by Kamatari's feet.

            For several minutes, he was silent, eyes traveling back and forth over the page. I watched him, studying his black-lined eyes for some hint as to what he was thinking. I was no mind reader. Whatever he thought remained with him, forever unknown to the world.

            Finally, he slapped the book shut, the noise making me jump. He smiled at me.

            "Volcanoes," he said simply. "Fascinating things."

            "I'm sure," I said mildly.

            "Just get back from Calc?" he asked.

            "World Governments," I shrugged.

            "Exciting?"

            "I didn't fall asleep this time."

            He laughed, sounding more masculine then than he usually did. Strange how he let his guard down when he did that.

            "What's bugging you, sweetheart?"

            Kamatari always jumped straight to the heart of the problem. It was disconcerting.

            I shrugged, looking down to see my fingers fiddling with the hem of my pants. I quickly stilled the motion.

            "Just a little tired," I muttered.

            "We're all a little tired, sweetheart," Kamatari nudged my shoulder lightly. "It's part of being in college. You've got more than just that 'I stayed up until four last night' look about you."

            Grumbling softly, I chuckled and shook my head. He was too perceptive for his own good. It was no wonder he was studying psychology.

            "Kaoru keeps treating me like a temperamental dog," I sighed. "Like I'll bite if she brushes me wrong."

            "Will you?" Kamatari challenged.

            Probably. Well... not bite. Bark, maybe. Really nastily. I sighed again and leaned back against the wall.

            "I don't get what I'm doing wrong," I grumbled. "When I did everything in my power to get her to stay away, she was like a leech. Now that I'm trying to be nice, she gets all edgy and doesn't like talking to me." When I said it out loud, it really sounded bad. "Is my personality so lacking?"

            "Only when you get defensive," Kamatari said with a little grin.

            "When have I ever been defensive with you?" I demanded, then blinked as Kamatari laughed outright.

            "Right now, sweetheart."

            "You did that on purpose."

            "No, but you proved a nice point to yourself, didn't you?" Kamatari smirked. His expression grew serious then, and he set his book aside so he could sit up and lean forward. "Sanosuke is worried about you."

            "Nice of him to tell me," I tilted my head curiously. "Why?"

            "Apparently he thinks you've gone anorexic on us," Kamatari reached forward and poked at my side. I shied away from the touch, trying not to chuckle. It was wise not to let this guy know that I was ticklish if I ever wanted to be able to breathe in his presence. He loved finding peoples' weak spots like that. Kamatari looked at me with concern in his eyes. "You feeling okay, sweetheart?"

            Oh... that.

            "I'm not anorexic," I said hotly. "Just because I don't eat enough to feed a small village in one sitting--"

            "I know you eat, sweetheart," Kamatari cut off my protest then. "But you could tell me what these sleepless nights are all about. I see you in the lounge late at night, yet you're always up before anyone else."

            "I have homework--"

            "You have plenty of time to do it during the day."

            "I'm fine," I scowled at him, climbing off the bed by that point. This conversation was going nowhere. "I need to get goi--_ack!_"

            There was one thing about Kamatari that people rarely realized. He did his hair up, put on cosmetics, and liked to wear pink shirts with 'Princess' scrawled over the chest, but he definitely had his masculine points. The main thing was that he was very fast and extraordinarily strong.

            I yelped in alarm as he lunged after me, ducking and lifting me completely off my feet. My automatic reaction was to grab hold of him to assure that he did not drop me on the floor. Then, I started to struggle against the arms under my knees and back. Kamatari just laughed at my efforts and carried me out of the room.

            "Put me down!" it was an effort not to shout. I came pretty close to it, though. "Damn it! Kamatari!"

            "You need a little excitement in your life," Kamatari giggled, never putting me down as he walked through the lounge to the elevators. People looked at us in amusement, a few of them egging Kamatari on. I gave them very dirty looks indeed.

            "Kamatari, what are you doing?" Aoshi met us at the elevator. He had his reading glasses on, and it was obvious that he had been studying.

            "Can't you tell?" Kamatari laughed. "We're running away together. Push the down button, would you?"

            Aoshi complied, and I glared at him.

            "You're not supposed to _help_ him, Aoshi!" I growled, still trying in vain to squirm free of that impossible grip. Even Sano could not keep me immobile for so long!

            "It is apparent that you have been... swept off your feet, Kenshin," Aoshi said coolly. "I would hate to stand in your way."

            With that, he walked away. I glowered at his back.

            "_Traitor!_"

            Of course, being the quiet, stoic man that he was, Aoshi did not respond. The elevator dinged, and Kamatari walked in. The doors closed behind us.

            "Aren't your arms getting tired?" I whined.

            "Nope!" Kamatari grinned at me. "You're light as a feather."

            "A feather off a damned big bird!" I snapped. "Put me down."

            "Nope," he said again. I sighed and stopped struggling for the moment. In an elevator, I was not going anywhere, even if I did get him to drop me.

            We hit the main floor, and I started fighting again.

            "Where are we going?" I demanded.

            "We're running away together," Kamatari smiled cheerily. "Didn't you listen when we spoke with Aoshi?"

            "Kamatari, _put me down!_"

            Someone held open the door for him, grinning and waving at us. I made a swipe for the door, then that person holding it, and missed both as Kamatari moved quickly past them. I was starting to curse, so frustrated was I.

            "What the hell are you doing?!" My struggles increased tenfold as he made his way to the exit. At this point, I equated Kamatari to a vise. "Kamatari, you little shi--"

            "There's no need to get nasty, sweetheart," Kamatari interrupted quickly. We were outside. It was snowing and cold and windy, and I didn't have my jacket, and I was mad. Oh, I was raging by that point, nearly lightheaded in my fury. "Here we are."

            "No, you don't--_Kamatari!_"

            His name came out a rather unpleasant screech, actually. It cut off very abruptly, though, when I landed in a snow drift. The asshole threw me into a three-foot pile of snow!

            I was out of that snow in less time than it took for me to fall into it. Shuddering with cold and irritation, I turned my glare on Kamatari, filling it with as much murderous intent as I possessed. Not a whole lot, granted, but enough to get the point across. 

            Kamatari took off running, laughing his pretty head off all the way back into the building. And I had to wait more than two minutes in sub-zero temperatures for someone with a key to the building to let me through the door. Very few words that were not four-letter expletives came from my mouth for the next three to five minutes, although no one could understand them through my chattering teeth. Then, for the next several hours, I was bundled up in six layers and _still_ could not stop shivering. I refused to talk to Kamatari the rest of the evening.

            Sano, of course, thought the entire situation was funny as hell.

^_^

Notes: You have to have a magnetized ID card to get into some buildings at the U. Woe to he who does not have it—pray for a nice enough person to let you in.

Reviewers:

**JML**: Goodness, don't hurt yourself! Tripping, purposely hurting yourself… not good. Um… Yeah. I once had to work with someone like Jonas. Except it was a woman, and she wasn't overtly mean to me. But she was danged scary and cursed like a sailor. Yeah, the customers loved her. (Note--Fitz is being sarcastic.)

**Hana Himura**: (twice) *grin* I'm putting that in my archives. You're absolutely right. It's very similar to Spanish. I could almost translate that without having to read your explanation. Almost. And here's Kaoru! She'll come and go. Kenshin did not meet her until his sophomore year, so I had to keep that in mind.

**Crystal**: I'm glad someone else found that amusing. 

**Person who didn't identify him/herself**: Kaoru will appear a bit more frequently, but as I pointed out to someone else, Kenshin didn't meet her until his second year of college. Thus, anything that happens the first year will not involve her at all.

**Chibi Assassin**: Yes, and we all know how much I _loved_ college life. *rolls eyes. Eyes tumble down a little slope* Wait! Come back!

**marstanuki**: There may be a little shonen ai, but not much. For the most part, I'm sticking with the classic couples this time.

**Chiki**: *grin* Wow. Enthusiastic, are we? Heh. Actually, I never did mention why Kenshin hated Burger King. And… I won't… yet. Sheesh, but you catch on quickly. Most people see those things and say, yeah, I hate those fast food places too. All that grease and lower-than-dog-food quality meat… yuck. Well, maybe not _most_ people.

**supernaturalove**: I've done the college thing, so I will admit that I am drawing from some of my own experiences. Granted… my roommate never tried to strangle me. Maybe she _wanted_ to at times…

**Vesca**: Outtakes are fun! I love writing them for a little fluff. I'm glad I got Megumi right… I'm not very good with her, but I'll keep trying.

**omochi**: Each series of events will determine who shows up. I'll try to put some variety in, but, like most people, I have my favorites. It will show in who I put in most.

**tenshineko**: There was a Frat. house at the U that had a big sign on the front 'Jesus Christ is Lord of the University.' I cringed and kept walking. Yeah, that guy on his soapbox was always out on nice days. I could hear him in Calculus discussion.

**Gypsy-chan**: I've got Kenshin's next roommate all picked out! *smirk* Next chapter (well, next section. Next chapter continues this one), you'll find out who it is. Here's a hint: It's a guy! (As you respond "well _duh!_")

**Gochan**: Sano can convince anyone to do anything. Didn't you know? *points to Sano who is selling sand to a desert nomad* Good suggestion, by the way. I will be keeping that in mind as I write. Thank you.

**Oryo**: Hi there! Glad to see your name pop up. I was beginning to feel neglected. (I'm just kidding. But even so, it's nice to have your review.) I wish you well on your own writing, and I'll see what I can do about keeping up my standards on Kenshin.


	6. Black out

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor have I ever owned anything involving Rurouni Kenshin… or other various books, movies, television shows, or songs named in this story.

Notes: *whimper* My computer is dying! I start it, and it's fine. I play games on it, and it's fine. I open anything worth anything on it, and it's: *SCREEEEEEEECH Ka-clunk!* Frozen like a big computer shaped icicle. I'm contemplating attempting to hack into those files via my laptop. But then… it's a school laptop, and I'm afraid of what might happen to my precious (not to mention overpriced) programs. *sob*

Right, onto the important stuff. This section went longer than I expected. First, it was going to be a slightly longer than usual one-parter. Then, it broke into two sections. Now, it's up to three. I think that's where it'll stay, though.

Warnings: Sap. Kenshin getting defensive. More out-of-characterness. But hey, it's alternate universe, so I can do that.

My Life

            Despite the fact that Kamatari threw me into the snow and left me locked out in the cold, he did say something that struck a chord in me. My own, distant attitude had intimidated Kaoru that one evening. The fact that I knew I would snap at her if she tried to nose into my life like that again was enough to prove that I was _still_ pushing her friendship away. I resolved to fix this problem immediately--that is to say, when next I saw Kaoru in class.

            "Kaoru, do you have some free time after class?"

            She looked at me oddly when I asked this, then nodded and smiled a bit warily.

            "Sure, Kenshin. Did you need some help on your homework?"

            I had to wince at that. Did she expect so little of me that her immediate thought was that my request to spend time with her was merely because I _wanted_ something? I guess it was nice to know where I stood with her.

            "Um, no," I stumbled over the words in my discomfort. I scolded myself for my jumpiness. It was not as if I was asking her on a date! Just a few minutes of her time to discuss a few things. "I thought we could go have some lunch... or something." It was nine o'clock in the morning when our class ended.

            "Sure, Kenshin," Kaoru smiled brightly. "That would be nice."

            I smiled back, immensely relieved. Honestly, I had not expected it to be so easy. It would not be.

            The class crawled by. There was a guest speaker, and we had to listen to the guy talk about his theories on Edward Allen Poe. As if anybody cared! Embarrassingly enough, I fell asleep during this lecture. Somebody kicked my chair, and I jerked awake, grateful I did not cry out in my surprise. I didn't think the professor noticed.

            The end of the hour did not come a minute too soon. I was out of my chair and gathering my books the instant the professor dismissed us. Kaoru was ready by the time I packed up, and I followed her to the door. That was when it happened again.

            Just as I was reaching the door, my vision grayed out. For a few seconds it was like tunnel vision, the world narrowing down before me, and then everything went black. I staggered and hit the wall.

            Through the entire period of maybe fifteen seconds, I remained mostly aware of my surroundings. I could hear just fine. It was just that pesky temporary blindness that had me so off balance. The disorientation and sudden rush of panic was what made me stumble and fall.

            "Kenshin?!" Kaoru's voice, so filled with fear, did nothing to assuage my own alarm. She grabbed for my arms, holding me steady as I sank to sit on the floor. "Kenshin, what's wrong?!"

            "I can't--" I shook my head, trying to clear it. Of course, it did not help at all. In fact, it only served to make my head hurt.

            Someone pushed against my back, trying to make me double over and put my head between my knees. As if I was not embarrassed as it was.

            "I'll be fine," I protested, resisting the movement. I willed myself to feel better, staring hard into space. As if heeding my plea, everything went back to normal. Well, if sitting on the floor with half the creative writing class hovering around me anxiously could be considered normal. I blinked at them, finally focusing on the worried blue eyes in front of me. I smiled weakly. "I'm fine."

            "_Fine?_" Kaoru asked incredulously. "Kenshin, you just blacked out! How is that fine?!"

            "It was just a little spell," I insisted, climbing to my feet cautiously. Kaoru caught my arms, along with Misao and the professor. Between the three of them, they held more of my weight than I did.

            "You should sit down, Kenshin," Kristen--the professor--suggested. "We can have someone pick you up and take you to the clinic--"

            "I'm fine," I insisted. Their persistence was annoying. I pulled away from them, picking up the bag I had dropped. "I don't need a doctor."

            Of course I did not need a doctor. Nothing good ever came from being in a clinic. They would just ask me what kind of drugs I had been doing lately, take blood, and send me packing. I would be kept in the dark until Hiko felt the urge to tell me just what the hell was going on. It was not like I was fainting regularly. In fact, I had not fainted at all. A blackout--that was what Kaoru called it. Hardly life-threatening.

            "I'll walk him to the clinic," Kaoru volunteered. I glared at the three, irritated that they felt they could push me into this. A glance at Kristen informed me that there would be no refusing Kaoru's suggestion while in her classroom, so I looked away and muttered my agreement. Kaoru took my arm and led me out the room.

            Outside, it was cold and miserable again. I refused to talk to Kaoru as we walked toward Washington Avenue. The clinic was about two blocks away, not too far from a bus stop for very obvious reasons. We trudged along the newly plowed sidewalks, Kaoru standing far too close for comfort. She probably expected me to fall again. I intended to disappoint her there.

            The bus groaned to a stop at the light, and the red 'Don't Walk' signal went dark, a glowing white 'Walk' flashing on. Kaoru stepped into the street alone. I made my way toward the bus. It was a nasty trick, I admit. Kaoru did not realize where I had gone until the light turned green, and the bus was on its way. She yelled after the large vehicle, startled, then angry. I was going to pay for this stunt later, but I did not intend to go to any doctor.

            Ten minutes later, I walked through the tunnels, following them until I was across the street from my destination. Exiting the music building, I crossed the walkway to the dorm.

^_^

            "You stubborn dick," was how Sano greeted me that evening.

            "Nice to see you too, Sano," I replied quietly, not looking up from where I sat on my futon, math book on my lap, a bottle of water in hand. Really, I was not in the mood for an argument with him. In this situation, Sano had the upper hand anyway.

            "You passed out in class?" he demanded to know.

            "Blacked out," I corrected, finishing the last of my assignment. I automatically added, "I'm fine," although I knew it would not fly with Sano.

            "The hell you are!"

            He yanked the math book away from me, despite my indignant protest, and threw it onto the bed. Next, it was the notebook and my calculator.

            "Hey!"

            "I can't believe you ditched Kaoru like that!" he snapped furiously.

            "Well, I'm sorry," I shot back, climbing to my feet, intending to pick up my books again. "I told them I did not need to go to the clinic."

            "You fainted!"

            "Blacked out."

            "It's not normal!" Sano caught my arm, yanking on it so that I looked at him. I complied, glaring at him irately.

            "I don't want to go to the doctor," I said conclusively. My tone was meant to end the conversation, but Sano must not have understood that. He shoved me away, not so hard that I could not catch myself but with enough force to get his anger across.

            "To hell with what you want, Kenshin!" Sano growled. "We're worried!"

            "Your concern is appreciated--"

            "You don't give a rat's ass about anyone else's opinion but your own, and you know it," Sano interrupted. "While I can admire that sometimes, now is not one of those times. Call and set up a doctor's appointment or I'll do it for you."

            My jaw tightened, my body tensing in response to his words. Sano set his own jaw and crossed his arms. For a long time, we glared at each other, neither willing to budge. It felt like ages, but only a minute passed by the time I gave in.

            "Fine!" I threw my hands up in frustration. "I'll call the damned doctor."

            "Good!"

            He did not leave then, as I had expected. No, he just fixed that determined glare on me and continued to stand there, waiting. I stared at him.

            "What, now?"

            "No, Kenshin. Next Easter," he lifted his eyes heavenward. "_Yes_, now!"

            "You're going to stand over me while I call?" I was not overly surprised, but I was offended. At his nod, I lost my temper. "Who the hell do you think you are? What right do you have to push me around like this?"

            Sano flinched, but I could not regret the words--not yet, anyway. After the anger faded... maybe then. But at the moment, I was too frustrated and insulted to consider it.

            "I'm your friend, Kenshin," he said softly.

            "What kind of person forces his friends to do something they don't want to do?" I pushed relentlessly.

            "One who cares," he replied, still that quiet, cautious tone.

            "I have a hard time believing that," I stared at him, angry and suddenly filled with a terrible cold. "You're not exactly the most reliable person I've known."

            He tensed, his entire body going taut like a dog that felt threatened. I did not think twice about it.

            "I don't need you," I said icily. "I was fine without you before, and I'll be fine without you in the future. So don't think you can get off with bullying me into submission!"

            Stars flashed in my eyes as the back of his hand swiped across my cheek. I nearly fell, but I caught the edge of my bed and gasped noisily to keep that blackness from consuming me. My eyes were painfully wide as I stared at the stark sheets of my bed. Sano had hit me? While every part of my being refused this fact, my sore cheek attested to the truth behind it.

            "Fuck you, Kenshin," Sano growled. "I don't need this shit either."

            Then, he was gone. My door slammed, the sound making me flinch, and I sighed. Whether I was relieved or saddened, I had yet to decide.

            Since I was already there, I climbed onto my bed and fell limp on it. I fumbled off to the side for the phone, mounted to the wall, and yanked it down. It was a corded phone, as the school recommended. I grumbled to myself and pushed to my knees so I could see the cradle. After tapping in a number, I collapsed back onto the bed and closed my eyes with a heavy sigh. I listened to the ringing in my ear.

            "Hello?"

            "Uncle Hiko?"

            "What do you want?"

            I sighed again, wishing that he could be nice for once.

            "I need to set up a doctor's appointment," I answered.

            "What for?" he groused.

            "I almost passed out in class today."

            "Then you should get more sleep, idiot," he rebuked.

            "I'm trying, Uncle Hiko," I said testily. "Would you just set up the appointment?"

            "Can't do it yourself?"

            "Not right now," I mumbled.

            "What's wrong?" he demanded.

            "Nothing... it's fine," I lied.

            "I haven't heard you like this since that Jonas character was your roommate," Uncle Hiko pressed.

            "It'll be fine, Uncle Hiko," I replied tiredly. "Let me deal with it, okay?"

            "You going to your classes?"

            "Yes--"

            "You eating?"

            "Yes--"

            "Have those friends still?"

            I did not respond. After all, what could I say? I had just destroyed two friendships--all in one day. That was impressive.

            "Should I call the counselor as well?" Uncle Hiko asked dryly.

            "It's your money," I retorted.

            "Shut the phone off," he ordered. "I'll leave a message with your appointment time and date. Get some sleep."

            "Sure, Uncle Hiko."

            I willed him to shut up.

            "I don't want lip service, boy," he said sternly. "If I find you did not heed me--"

            "I'll sleep!" I snapped. "In fact, I want to do that now. Thanks for the doctor's appointment, Uncle Hiko. Good night."

            I did not wait for a response, clunking the phone onto its cradle awkwardly. It was just as well. My eyes closed, and I was out.

^_^

            Well, I never turned the ring off. It did not matter. If it went off, I did not hear it. In fact, I did not open my eyes again until three-twenty the following morning. Considering I had fallen asleep around six the previous evening, it was an impressive amount of time. Even so, I felt as if I had not slept a wink.

            Hardly aware of myself, I rolled out of bed and wandered across the hall to the bathroom. Minutes later, I washed my hands and went back into the hall. The room I went to next was not my own. The late hour did not sway me as I knocked on the door. No one answered immediately, so I knocked again.

            "Coming, coming!" a surly voice came from the other side.

            The door swished opened, and I blinked up at Sano. His hair was all over the place, flopping in his eyes. It would have been humorous in another situation. He blinked at me owlishly.

            "Kenshin?" he frowned. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

            "Yeah, um... sorry about that," I looked down at my fingers, hands wringing in my anxiety. I clasped them, locking my knuckles to keep from repeating the nervous gesture. "I'm sorry about this afternoon. I didn't mean what I said."

            That must have been the first time I ever apologized to anyone. No, make it second. I apologized to Kaoru as well. But this felt more awkward than that. Plus I was not running a high fever, nor was I nearly delirious as I had been on that occasion.

            Sano did not say anything at first. I shifted on my feet, staring at _his_ feet, and just feeling like the biggest jerk on the planet.

            "Uh... I called the doctor," I offered hesitantly. Well, Uncle Hiko had called the doctor--supposedly. But close enough.

            "Was it such a painful thing to do?" he asked, somewhat sleepily.

            "I don't like doctors," I nodded.

            "Why not?"

            "A lot of reasons," I hedged, not up to discussing this yet. "Anyway, you're... you're sleeping, and I woke you up. I'm sorry. I'll just--"

            "Come on in," Sano suggested, stepping out of the way, and I walked in hesitantly. "Tom's gone for the next two weeks on some special internship..."

            I had known that.

            "You can sleep in his bed," Sano suggested.

            "I can sleep in my own bed," I replied uneasily, edging back again.

            "It'd make me feel better," Sano nudged me toward the bed opposite his. "Consider it your method of repaying me for that nasty shit you said earlier."

            "I'm sorry," I said again.

            "I know," he smirked and nudged me toward the bed again. "Get some sleep."

            I smiled wearily and climbed into the bed.

^_^

            _The ceiling moved past me rapidly. One streak of light followed by another. There was a lot of noise. People shouting. Flashes of white. Someone talking to me, telling me not to worry, that everything was going to be okay._

_            What the hell is she talking about? Where's my sister and her friend? Wasn't I just with them? I don't understand._

_            Blue eyes shined down at me over a strange-looking mask. Some red hair poked out beneath the cap on her head._

_            "Mom?"_

_            But Mom died a long time ago. I reached up toward her, wanting to see if she was real. She caught my hand between her gloved palms, and her eyes were sad. I frowned at her._

_            Why won't she say anything?_

_            "Mom?"_

_            I heard a mournful, wailing tone. I stared down at a face--ghostly white--framed by dark, tangled hair. Her dark brown eyes were open and unseeing. Calling her name softly, I touched her face, willing her to focus on something._

_            Someone had my arms and was shaking me. That tone continued to wail. I struggled against that force pulling me away from her. I called out._

_            Her eyes went startlingly clear, and she stared at me. Her mouth opened, and she spoke to me--_

_            "What the hell is wrong with you, Kenshin?!"_

            My eyes snapped open, and I sat up automatically. I promptly cracked my forehead on something hard. That was followed by soft cursing and a sudden cessation of the shaking that had helped wake me.

            "_Ow__!_"

            Holding a hand to my injured head, I squinted at the person who was cursing up a storm beside me.

            "Sano?" I asked. Well, it came out more of a gasping breath. I was shivering and panting, shaken from the nightmare.

            "Nnngh! _GEEZ!_" he burst out finally, rubbing his forehead tenderly. "What the hell was that, Kenshin?"

            "Sorry," I grumbled, glancing at the clock across the room. It was six-fifteen. "Do you have class so early?"

            "No!" Sano groused, pulling away to go dig through his closet. "I don't have a class until ten. But you were making so much noise, I couldn't sleep."

            I opened my mouth to object his complaints, but he continued right on, oblivious to the fact that I was about to talk.

            "Since I'm up, I thought I'd go eat," he declared. "Go change. You're coming with me."

            "I'm not--"

            "If you even _think_ of telling me you're not hungry, I'll smack you from here to the cafeteria and back," he snapped. "You're coming to breakfast with me."

            I sighed and pushed back the blankets. Sneaking around my cranky friend, I went back to my room.

            Uncle Hiko had called sometime the afternoon before. My doctor's appointment was set for eight o'clock that very morning.

            "Damn it!" I glanced at the clock even though I already knew what time it was. I had to catch the bus by seven-fifteen if I was going to make it. Sano would just have to wait if he wanted a breakfast date. I scooped up my towel and pulled out a change of clothes. Sano met me in the hall.

            "What are you doing?" he asked, glancing at the towel in my hands.

            "I have a doctor's appointment at eight-thirty," I explained, hanging my clothes over a hook in the bathroom. "I'm going to have to skip breakfast."

            "I'll bring you something," he told me. "You have a ride?"

            "I'll take the bus--"

            "I'll drive you," he offered.

            "I can take the bus," I shook my head. I did not want him coming with me. I got nervous at the doctor's office, and I did not want him to see that. "Thank you for the offer."

            "Stubborn ass," he grunted, moving down the hall. "You like bagels, right?"

            "Just don't get me those spicy ones," I called back.

            "Blueberry?"

            "That's fine."

            I shut the door.

^_^

            So, I went to see the doctor. As always, I waited for a good twenty minutes before my name was called. Then, it was the usual. I weighed in, got my blood pressure taken, eyes, ears, mouth, and nose checked, and then another twenty minutes between the time when the nurse left and the doctor came.

            Then, I had to go get some blood taken. I hated that part. It always made me feel ill. And so I had another rather embarrassing situation in the doctor's office where they had to push my head between my knees because I was getting lightheaded. Stupid needles.

            They were guessing some sort of chemical imbalance. Maybe something with the thyroid. Something like that. I kept hearing their 'worst-case scenario' words in my head. 

            _Cancer... Diabetes..._

            Nope. Was not going to happen. That stuff always happened to someone else... right? It was times like this that I wished I had a roommate. Doing homework, alone in my room was not a good thing.

            Picking up my books, I walked out into the TV lounge. There were always people out there, and now they were watching a rerun of _Friends_. I wouldn't get much done with a television on, but that was okay. It's not like I'd get much done in my room either. And Sano was out there, and he could always make me laugh.

            "How was the doctor, Kenshin?"

            "Same old thing. They said they'd call with blood test results," I told him, smiling to show everything was okay. It was not all okay, but I didn't like it when he worried. He got all mad and gruff, and I'd rather see him smirking at me like he usually did.

            Sano just grinned at me. Slouching back into his chair, he looked back to the Gameboy in his hands. That was an old game he was playing--one of the Mario things. For some reason, I still felt kind of funny. It was not the same lonely as I had in my room. I wished Sano had not turned away like that. I felt more lonely, sitting in the corner behind him, unable to even see the TV over his head.

            My math homework seemed like a good idea. Then I could ignore the lump in my throat and pretend I was just ignoring everyone else instead of the other way around.

^_^

            I think I already mentioned that Kamatari had no respect for the privacy of others. Well, he proved that again in the morning. It was the morning after the day I had gone to the doctor, and I was getting ready for class. I was in the shower when the door opened.

            "'Morning, sweetheart."

            I was not in the mood for conversation, so I did not respond to him. Instead, I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, feeling the harsh spray of the water in my hair, draining down my back. I could have stood like that forever.

            "You in here?"

            The distinct sound of a shower curtain being jerked to the side made me open my eyes. For a long moment, I just stared at the ceiling, willing myself to have patience. Then, I lowered my head to look at the man. He was looking at me curiously.

            "Off in La-La Land, sweetheart?" he asked.

            "Yeah," I murmured, glancing at the half-open curtain. "Do you mind?"

            "Oh!" he laughed and pushed the curtain closed again. "Just making sure you hadn't fainted on us again."

            "I'm fine," I replied automatically.

            "Whatever you say, sweetheart."

            The soap had long since been rinsed from my skin and hair. The fact that my fingers were pruning indicated I had been in the shower far too long. Sighing softly, I shut off the water.

            Two minutes later, I was still standing there, shivering in the cool air.

            "Kenshin?" Kamatari's voice broke through my blissfully blank haze.

            I blinked, focusing on the tile wall in front of me.

            "I'm here," I muttered, turning to reach for my towel, just as he opened the curtain again. I sighed. "Kamatari, that is very disconcerting."

            His dark eyes searched my face, and I glanced away uneasily. If I broke down then, I would never stop, and then I would miss class. Another towel dropped on my head.

            "What--?"

            I gasped and jerked back as Kamatari started rubbing at my hair vigorously. As I had discovered before, it was nearly impossible to get away from that man when he had a task on his mind. Considering I had one hand busy with the towel at my waist, I think it was fair to say I was not fit to put up much of a struggle.

            "Kamatari!" I sputtered, disoriented from the movement. I yelped as my foot hit the slightly raised barrier of the shower, sending me sprawling backwards. Thank god Kamatari had quick reflexes. He caught me, saving me from what promised to be a painful fall. As he had caused the spill, I would not have forgiven him had he let me hit the tile floor.

            In the end, he had one foot in the shower, one foot out, and both of his arms around my back. Forgoing the towel, I had grabbed onto the nearest solid object--namely, Kamatari--and held on tight. It would have been one of my more humiliating experiences had it been anyone but Kamatari. As it was, it was awkward. There he was, bent over precariously, keeping me from toppling to the floor, and the only reason my towel had yet to fall was because I was pressed up against his side.

            "Kamatari..." I muttered as he struggled to right both of us. "I think the shower is not the best place for roughhousing."

            He just laughed and finally pulled us back. I reached with one hand and caught my towel before it could fall, my other arm still clinging tight around Kamatari's neck. He chuckled again, amused by our plight.

            "Sweetheart, you are too cute."

            "Well, thanks," I drawled, stepping away and brushing the wild hair out of my face. Those tangles were going to take forever to comb out. "Next time you feel like drying my hair, tell me first."

            "You just looked like you needed some cheering up," Kamatari picked up his own towel off the floor of the shower. "You were so dazed, sweetheart."

            "Are you my personal counselor?" I asked dryly.

            "You don't need a counselor, Kenshin," Kamatari patted my cheek and smiled warmly. "You looked like you needed a friend."

            I found myself blinking back tears and cursed my sudden sensitivity. Kamatari tapped my nose, making me blink again, and turned to the mirror.

            "You're going to be late for class, sweetheart," he informed me.

            "...Right," I had this sudden urge to hug him. Of course, I restrained myself. Shaking my head, I picked up my clothes and opened the door.

            "Oh, and sweetheart?"

            "Hmm?" I looked back to see Kamatari smiling at my reflection in the mirror.

            "Perk up!" he chirped. "Your face was made for smiling."

            I chuckled wryly and left the bathroom.

^_^

            Kamatari was right. I was late for class. My blood was pounding in my ears by the time I reached the classroom, my chest burning with exertion. I had gotten off on the first bus stop and run the rest of the way. It was faster that way, but I was out of shape. Not only that, I slipped several times on the icy sidewalks--fell once. I was in too much of a hurry to be embarrassed.

            Despite all my efforts, it was five after eight by the time I reached the room. I pulled open the door, then quickly backed out again when I saw that someone was giving a presentation. I had forgotten about that. It left my mind the instant my own presentation was complete.

            Closing the door quietly, I leaned against the wall and took the time to catch my breath. Sliding down the wall, I sat on the floor. Someone would come get me when it was okay to enter.

            So I was surprised when the door opened a few seconds later. Blinking uncertainly, I looked up to see Kaoru gazing down at me solemnly. She closed the door, and I knew the person was still presenting. I recalled the last time I had seen her--I had ditched her and ignored her words as she tried to call me back. Ouch.

            "Did you ever go to a doctor?" she demanded immediately.

            What could I say? I nodded, looking down at my knees, pulled up almost to my chest. It was too difficult to look at her.

            "What did they say?" she asked as she sat down next to me. Feeling immensely guilty, I just shrugged. "Do they know what caused the black out?"

            "Just guesses," I muttered. I did not want to think about what the doctor had said just yet. Honestly, it scared me, and I hated being afraid.

            "What kind of guesses?"

            I stared down the hall. It was boring, with tiled flooring and painted concrete walls. It was so much easier to focus on the dusty overhead lights rather than what I might have felt about everything just then.

            "Maybe a chemical imbalance," I told her quietly. "Maybe something else..."

            "Like what?" Did that girl never give up? I sighed.

            "Diabetes is a big one," I looked down at the floor between my feet. "Cancer."

            She was quiet for awhile then. I could feel the weight of her gaze on me. It was not a comfortable thing. Normally, it would not have upset me like it did, but my emotions were on the blitz that morning. I brought my hands to my face, covering my mouth and nose but not my eyes. I was _not_ going to cry in front of Kaoru.

            Then, she was hugging me. She started out hesitantly, as if afraid of rejection. The fear was probably warranted, but I did not pull away. I was not sure how to react to it, actually. As a general rule, I did not hug people. That was why I was a bit surprised at my own impulsive reaction to Kamatari that morning. Again, I blamed it on some chemicals misfiring in my brain, causing these unwanted emotions.

            I sniffed.

            _Damn it! I am not going to cry!_

            "Kenshin, I'm sorry," Kaoru whispered into my hair.

            "No--" I cleared my throat when my voice cracked. I was getting frustrated by that. "Damn it."

            "Are you scared?" she asked.

            "Shitless," I laughed breathlessly.

            She hugged me tighter after that, and I leaned against her gratefully.

            "But it could be nothing, right?" she insisted. "So until they say otherwise--"

            "It's not so easy to make yourself believe that," I murmured.

            "I know," she sighed. "I'm glad you went to the doctor, though."

            I snorted.

            "I nearly passed out when they took my blood," I told her, then wished I had not. _Way to tell her something embarrassing about yourself!_ I chastised myself silently. _Now she'll think you're a wimp._

            But Kaoru just giggled softly and put her head on my shoulder. I rested my cheek against her hair, not at all displeased with the light contact.

            "Poor baby," she teased quietly. "Was that why you didn't want to go to the doctor?"

            "No," I shook my head slightly. "But I really don't want to discuss that in the hallway outside of English class."

            "A personal matter?"

            "Kind of."

            "Does it have anything to do--"

            "Kaoru, please," I interrupted, knowing exactly where she was taking _that_. "Not now."

            "Sorry. Geez, Kenshin. You're so secretive!"

            I did not respond to that. After all, what could I tell her? She was right, of course. I _was_ a bit tight-lipped when it came to those things. But who wants to talk about how his parents died? Or his sister? Or all the rotten things I did following that? How I broke out of that vicious cycle? None of it was pleasant, and I was certain Kaoru did not want to know all the gory details.

            The door opened, and we both looked up to see Kristen looking down at us, concern bright in her eyes.

            "Kenshin, how are you?" she asked immediately.

            "Okay," I smiled weakly. "I don't know yet."

            "Well enough to attend class?" she wondered skeptically.

            "Yes."

            "Erik is going to start his presentation," Kristen told us. "You can join the class. Just... take it easy, okay?"

            "I'll be okay," I stood, picking up my bag as I went. I blinked a few times as my head informed me I had risen too suddenly. Kaoru took my hand and gave me a total of one second to react before she pulled me into the room.

^_^

More notes: The conclusion to all of this will be in the next chapter. I'm almost done with it. After I had finals, I was so relieved, I suddenly felt inspired again. Strange how that works. And now that I've found a way around that forsaken computer--*kicks sputtering, limping computer for spite*--I'm able to post this.

And we have, a **Random Omake**

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* It was too difficult to look at her. *shielding face with both hands* My eyes! _My eyes!_

**Kaoru**: That is not funny!

(Fitz: *smirk* I just could not help myself. When I looked at the wording, it was such that it just popped to mind!)

**Random Omake #2!**

(Shower scene with Kenshin and Kamatari)

**Kenshin: *Narrating* In the end, he had one foot in the shower, one foot out, and both of his arms around my back.**

**Kamatari: *pulling Kenshin out of the shower, starts prancing around the bathroom and singing* La-dee-dee-daaaa!**

**Kenshin: Gah!**

**Kamatari: Come on, sweetheart! Waltz with me! One-two-three, one-two-three!**

**Kenshin: *scrambling for his towel* Let go!**

Reviewers: *muttermuttergrumble* I had this all written out on the other computer, now I'm doing it again. *sigh* Oh well. You all are worth it.

**Crystal: This wasn't all that funny, but I hoped you liked it just the same.**

**Hana**** Himura: *grin* I've already dressed Kenshin up as a girl in two of my other stories. To put it here would be redundant.**

Sano: Yeah, not to mention really repetitive.

Fitz: …

And out of curiosity… what are you researching?

**KnK4ever: There'll be a little Misao/Aoshi, but not that much. I've found it's difficult to focus around the other characters when Kenshin doesn't hang out with them a lot, considering the first person POV.**

**Chiki: *sigh* Yes, I made Tomoe Kenshin's sister. *tsk* I'm not telling you how she died. You'll have to wait for that. ^_~**

**cevgar: Sounds familiar. Honestly? I failed in the college end of things. Number eight in my high school graduating class, and I hated college with a passion. Too many people for a recluse like me. Then I spent a year in the 'real world' and ran back to school with my tail between my legs. I guess sometimes it takes a boot in the butt to make me appreciate some things. You just have to find your niche in life. I hope you find yours. ^_^**

**Izi-chan: Thanks! Okay okay okay! *snicker* Try saying that aloud. It's awkward.**

**omochi: He's not anorexic. He's just without appetite. Totally different motivations. Unfortunately… same results.**

**Li: (Times 2!) When he's not worried about being expelled, Kenshin can kick some butt. For now, I had to keep him passive. And of _course Kamatari is attractive without his make-up! How could anyone doubt that? Heheheh._**

**marstanuki: I know, I know. I'm an alternate pairing freak. Call me fickle.**

**Vesca: *cough* Yeah, we'll see about that Kaoru thing. I think a lot of us need a good night's sleep… maybe Friday night. Yeah. I'll sleep in Saturday.**

**Gochan: Whoa! Enthusiastic Kaoru lovers all around me! I've got plans for her later. Right now… Kenshin. Yeah. When I get past him, I'll get to the others. *pounces gorilla and cuddles until its little glass eyeballs try to pop out***

**Gypsy-chan: I love cutesy scenes. It's why I torture my characters so much… so I can put those scenes in even more. Otherwise it would be solid sap, and that would be too much for me to handle.**


	7. Thanksgiving break

**Disclaimer: *Pan in to see a red door with a white paper taped to it.* I am lost. I have gone out to find myself. If I should return before I get back, please tell me to wait. Thank you. Signed, Disclaimer.**

**Notes: Um… *twiddles fingers* I must apologize for any confusion I may have caused in my notes. This is not the final chapter. In fact, I have so many other little things in my head that I want to put in here, I could not dream of making this the end. What I meant was, this is the last chapter of this little 'arc' I've created. Actually, I already started writing the next section (which will jump back to Kenshin's freshman year). So don't worry, I'm not stopping yet!**

Sano: *muttering* Who said they wanted you to continue?

Fitz: *casually knocks Sano out with a tennis racket*

**Warnings: The dreaded *dramatic drum roll* father/son talk! *gasp* Possible mistakes involving the medical field, video games, and pancake mixes.**

Kaoru: Pancake mixes?

Fitz: Like I ever eat pancakes. Gross.

Sano: You don't like pancakes? What kind of person _are you?!_

Fitz: Nor do I like donuts, potato chips, or chocolate pudding.

Sano: Sacrilege! 

My Life

            Less than a week later, I found out I had to go to the hospital for more testing. The _hospital_. Just thinking of it made me shudder. I did _not_ like hospitals. People went to hospitals, and they did not come out again. Was I scared? I was a breath away from packing my belongings and skipping town.

            Kaoru found out about the appointment, and she wanted to come with me.

            "I'd really rather go alone," I grumbled as we walked to the bus stop together. I had asked her for some help studying again, and we were headed to Wilson Library.

            "You afraid I'll see you faint at the sight of the needle?" she asked lightly.

            "Yes."

            She laughed and did not say anything more. Somehow, I got the feeling she would not take 'no' for an answer. And I thought _I_ was stubborn.

            So, when the dreaded day came, Kaoru borrowed someone's car and drove us to United Hospital. She parked in the ramp and followed me up into the building. The nurse told us to wait in the lounge, so that was where we sat for the next twenty-five minutes.

            What was it with doctors and making anxious patients wait for long periods? Couldn't they have pity on us and actually keep up with the schedule?

            Finally, after what felt like an eternity and then some, a nurse walked over and smiled at me.

            "Mr. Himura? Come with me."

^_^

            That had to be one of the worst experiences of my life. First off, they pulled out this needle--dear lord, it was the biggest thing I had ever laid eyes on. No, I did not faint. I felt a bit light headed, but I remained conscious. Maybe if I _had_ passed out, I would not have had to be completely aware while they shoved that needle right into my bone. Let me say, it hurt like hell.

            Kaoru held my hand while they did that. She later teased me by saying I had sprained her hand with my grip. She also admitted that she averted her gaze the entire time. So I was not the only one with a fear of needles.

            Afterwards, I got sick. Oh yeah, that was pleasant. Not only was I sore as hell, but I was throwing up into a bucket. And Kaoru was there to see it all! Again, I recalled that I had asked her not to come. She was adamant, saying she was glad she had. I did not believe a word of it.

            "You going to be okay, Kenshin?" she asked later, in the car.

            Unwilling to turn my head, I moved my eyes to look at her. She smiled sympathetically.

            "You're white as a ghost," she informed me.

            "I'll let you know if I need to stop," I mumbled, then closed my eyes. We both knew why I would need to stop. After all, Kaoru could not have me making a mess of her friend's car floor.

            "Music?" Kaoru offered.

            "Quiet," I replied.

            Gentle music floated through the car. It was one of those New Age things. I fell asleep to the sounds of a bubbling brook and chirping birds.

^_^

            Kaoru's presentation was the next day, so she had to leave almost immediately. It was just as well. I was not the greatest company, dropping off again as soon as I found my bed.

            When I next opened my eyes, it was dark out. I was still exhausted and sick, so I had to wonder what had woken me.

            The sound of someone knocking on the door startled me. Well, that answered my question.

            "Coming!" I called, climbing out of bed stiffly. Right in the friggin' hip. Ow ow ow ow ow. I made it to the door and pulled it open. The hall was bright in comparison to my room, making me wince and squint. My head hurt, too.

            "Wow, it's dreary in here!" Sano pushed right past me, not bothering to ask if he could come in. I blinked dazedly as Megumi trooped in right after him, followed by Chou, Kamatari, Misao, and even Aoshi. With them, they brought three pizzas and a lot of pop. The smell was enough to make me feel ill again.

            "What are you doing?" I asked a bit desperately.

            "You've been holed up all day, so we came in for a party," Chou explained with that lazy grin of his.

            "And we thought you might be hungry, so we brought food!" Misao added, pushing a paper plate into my face. On it was a huge slice of pizza with just about every topping one could imagine.

            I jerked back, holding a hand over my mouth and nose in hopes to avoid getting ill again.

            "Ugh! I can't eat anything..."

            "You do look a little pale, Kenshin," Megumi remarked from her seat on my futon. "What have you been doing in here all day?"

            "I've only been in here since three, and I've been sleeping," I groaned from behind my hand. "Misao, please get that away from me. I don't feel that well."

            "Sorry, Kenshin," Misao apologized quickly, handing the pizza to Sano who was content to eat my portion. "Want some Sprite?"

            I had opened my mouth to reject any offer of food or beverage, but that one struck me, and I closed my mouth again. I nodded. Misao handed me a can. Sprite had never tasted so good.

            Sighing in resignation, I settled down on the floor between Kamatari and Aoshi.

            "You had better not get sick on me, Kenshin," Aoshi observed.

            "I won't get sick," I grumbled, huddling over my pop.

            "Leave the poor boy alone!" Kamatari laughed. "He looks positively miserable."

            "Thank you, Kamatari." Apparently I looked as bad as I felt.

            "Anytime, sweetheart." You can't win them all. I let Kamatari get away with that one.

            "So what happened?" Sano demanded. "You get any results yet?"

            "Results won't be in until next week sometime," I shook my head.

            "What'd you get done?" Megumi wondered.

            "A biopsy," I explained. What, now I had to explain it again? "Bone marrow."

            "Ooooh..." Megumi reached down from her perch and patted my shoulder sympathetically. "Those are nasty."

            "Yeah, it was a blast."

            "What's a bone marrow biopsy?" Chou wondered.

            "It's when they shove this really big needle into your bone and extract blood cells," Kamatari explained with a bright smile. "Supposedly it's the mother of all shots. A real bitch."

            Chou had gone really pale. It was kind of funny, actually.

            "Hey, look!" Misao cheered. "He's smiling! Woohoo!"

            "That's such a rare occurrence," Aoshi said dryly.

            "It has been lately!" Misao stuck her tongue out at him.

            Too weary to join in, I leaned back against the base of the futon. My head thunked lightly against Sano's knee, but he did not mind. I left my head there, and he ruffled my hair playfully before returning to his pizza.

            Conversation turned lighter after that.

            "What's everyone doing for Christmas this year?" Misao asked.

            "Going home," Chou offered.

            "Where's that?" Megumi wondered.

            "Wyoming," he rolled his eyes. "The middle of nowhere, U.S."

            "On the flip side, it's only a few hours to drive to the mountain skiing hills from his place," Kamatari pointed out. "What about you, darling? You going anywhere special? Home with Sparrow over there?"

            Aoshi glanced at Misao, a very slight tinge of red on his cheeks. He shook his head.

            "My family is going to my grandparents' house in Miami," he explained calmly.

            "I'm stuck here in Minnesota," Misao said mournfully. "Gramps wants to celebrate at home this year."

            "Megumi?" Kamatari prodded.

            "Sanosuke and I are going to visit my family in Pennsylvania," Megumi smiled.

            "Going to meet the future in-laws, eh, Sano?" Chou grinned.

            "Even letting Megumi dress me up to impress them," Sano shot right back. "What about you, Kamatari? We haven't heard your story yet."

            "I don't celebrate Christmas, chickie," Kamatari smiled brightly.

            "Kamatari is Jewish," I recalled.

            "How nice of you to remember, sweetheart!"

            "Hey, Kenshin," Chou was up and about, searching my room. "You got any decent music in here?"

            "Not really."

            He fiddled around with my stereo, trying to read the little numbers on the dial.

            "What station is this on?"

            "One-oh-four."

            "What's that?" he grunted, pushing the power button and cranking up the volume.

            _"OH  MICKY, YOU'RE SO FINE! YOU'RE SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND! HEY MICKY!... HEY MICKY!"_

            There were groans all around, and Chou fumbled to turn the music down. We all sighed with relief when the volume dropped to a tolerable level. My headache had returned with a vengeance, and I reminded myself to thank Chou for his consideration. As it was, the song ended quickly, and Jerry Lee Lewis swung into _Great Balls of Fire_. That was not much better.

            "So, Kenshin," Sano tapped my head sharply, and I grimaced in protest. "What are your plans for Christmas?"

            "I was going to spend it hiding under a rock in my back yard," I replied. It could have been just my muddled hearing, but it seemed that my words were slurring.

            "Sounds like someone is getting a little lazy tonight," Kamatari said quietly.

            "Sit up here by me, Kenshin," Megumi said suggestively. I felt Sano shift behind me, and I imagined he was starting to bristle at her mild flirting.

            Somehow, I did end up sitting next to Megumi. Conversation continued into the menial, such as newly released films and upcoming finals. I think Megumi's arm was around my shoulders, but I could not be sure. The next thing I was fully aware of was opening my eyes to find that I had fallen asleep with my head on her shoulder. That was fine. What startled me more was that when I did finally wake, I had a large, gray face in front of me.

            I yelped and jerked back, automatically shoving that face away. Just behind that, Chou was laughing his head off and waving a large, black furry object around.

            "This thing is hideous, Kenshin!" Chou dropped the stuffed animal in my lap. "Where'd you get it?"

            "Nnngh," was my intelligent response. "What time is it?"

            "Nine-thirty," Misao answered.

            Gee. Practically time to get up again. Billy Joel was singing _Uptown Girl_ in the background. My head was still pounding. Of course, using Megumi's shoulder as a pillow probably did not help. At the moment, I could not have cared less. Hugging that gorilla to my stomach, I closed my eyes and drifted away to their conversation again.

^_^

            Thanksgiving came and went as it frequently did. Some people went home to celebrate with their families. Others stayed at the school over the long weekend. Uncle Hiko's cooking abilities were comparable to those of a twelve-year-old. He could pull off macaroni and cheese and frozen pizzas without a hitch, but when it came to anything more complicated than scrambled eggs, he declared it time to dine out. I had a lot of frozen TV dinners when I was growing up. Sano invited me to his place for Thanksgiving dinner that year.

            Mr. Sagara was a mild-mannered man with an intriguing sense of humor. He was a widower according to Sano, his wife having died shortly after they adopted Sano. Sano never spoke of the woman, so I knew next to nothing about her. Just that Sano had not known her long enough to really mourn her passing.

            "Happy Thanksgiving, Dad!" Sano greeted Mr. Sagara with a hug in their foyer. The house was not big, and it was modestly decorated, but it was comfortable. As comfortable as those two welcoming each other's presence that afternoon.

            "Dad, this is Kenshin," Sano introduced me, and I smiled. Through Sano, I had gotten suggestions for what to bring, thus I held up a fruit salad after greeting Mr. Sagara.

            "Come on in," Mr. Sagara ushered us back to the kitchen and dining room area. I deposited my contribution in the refrigerator and followed Sano into the family room. There, I met the rest of Sano's family.

            "Hey, Sano! Who's your girlfriend?"

            My eyes moved from the television screen, which displayed some video game involving street fighting, down to the boy on the floor. The kid could not have been more than eleven, but beneath a fall of scrappy black bangs was a set of shrewd brown eyes. He knew full well that I was no girl. Which meant he was trying to get a rise out of me--or Sano.

            Beside me, Sano bristled.

            "Watch it, Yahiko!" he growled. "This--"

            He cut off when he saw my hand in front of him, staving off any degenerating word wars. I smiled right back at Yahiko.

            "What game are you playing?" I asked.

            "Street Fighter 2," he announced. "No one can beat me at this game."

            I smirked.

            "Give me one of those controls," I sat next to him on the floor.

            "Want a practice round?" he asked mockingly.

            "No. We can start."

            He was starting to get nervous.

            "Hey, you ever play this before?" he asked.

            "No," I examined the handset for a few seconds, assessing all of the different little buttons. "I've never played a video game in my life."

            Yahiko grinned, his confidence restored. It was just as well. I was not out to impress a kid eight years my junior.

            Sano sat on the sofa behind us, shoving at my back lightly with his foot.

            "The brat's an expert at this, Kenshin," he warned. "You don't stand a chance."

            "Then I can have my first video game be a losing experience," I replied. "Let's start."

            Yahiko beat me in under a minute the first two tries. The next three times, it took him almost five minutes to beat me. After that, I started winning. By the time we reached our twentieth round, I was losing interest. You can only watch one barely three-dimensional character beat up another so many times. Although I did find it amusing when we fought with the female characters. Sano pointed out that I could 'bitch slap' the other fighter. I had great fun with that option, and soon the three of us were doubled over with hysterical laughter when we had two versions of the same fighter smacking each other repeatedly.

            "Again!" Yahiko panted after I had beaten him for the seventeenth time in a row. "I won't lose!"

            "Give it up, punk," Sano ruffled Yahiko's hair lightly. "Kenshin knows all the dirty tricks in real life fighting, so it's only natural that he'd beat you at this thing."

            Not true, of course. Well... that thing about fighting dirty, yeah... but video games were totally different. Normal fighting rules really did not apply. It was just a matter of finding the opponents weak points and your own fighter's strongest attacks and utilizing them to your advantage. Your own strength had little to do with it, just the agility of your thumbs.

            "Are you three done with this worthy competition?" Mr. Sagara asked about then. We looked at each other sheepishly and nodded. Mr. Sagara smiled and gestured to the dining room. "Good. Dinner is ready."

^_^

            I spent the weekend there, as Sano was my ride back to campus. The bus was always an option, but Sano would hear nothing of it. Apparently, he thought it would not be safe for me to be alone at school. I told him that was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard.

            Saturday morning, the group of us was in the kitchen, enjoying the morning. Actually, Yahiko was in front of the TV in the next room, regaining his confidence in Street Fighter 2. Sano was at the table, engrossed in the most important part of the newspaper--that is to say, the comics section. I was thoroughly enjoying myself, helping Mr. Sagara make breakfast. We were having pancakes and hash browns, neither of which I knew how to make, but it was pretty simple to learn.

            "Don't forget to burn a section of that for the brat," Sano grunted. He looked pretty ragged that morning. His hair flopped down in his face, flattened in sections where he slept on it. He had a five o'clock shadow and had yet to change out of his night clothes, which consisted of a pair of black and yellow plaid boxers and a dark blue, cotton bathrobe that he did not bother to tie. "Won't eat it unless it's practically ashes."

            "Don't listen to him," Mr. Sagara advised. "Yahiko will eat anything you put in front of him."

            "Ah," I smiled, still concentrating on the pancake mix. Surely it could not be that simple. Water, powdery stuff, milk, and then stir. Two minutes on the pan, some fancy flipping action, and you were done. Well, Mr. Sagara had that flipping down. I was lucky if I could transfer the pancakes to the plate without dropping them on the floor. He assured me that it came from years of practice and more than a few occasions where he was scraping pancake mixture off the ceiling.

            "Yeah!" Sano called. "And guess who was the lucky one who got to clean _that_ up?"

            "You wouldn't want me to hurt myself in the attempt," Mr. Sagara said lightly. "These old muscles of mine can't take the stress."

            "Yeah, those creaking bones of yours, geezer," Sano snorted.

            It was at that point, while we were all laughing, that it happened again. In its own, screwed up way, it was worse than the time in English. I was feeling fine one minute, and the next, the room just went spinning away from me, and down I went.

            I guess I should feel lucky that I did not hit the stove or anything on it. At the time, all I felt was a sudden flash of panic. Sano shouted something, and someone grabbed me before I could hit anything. Again, it was very brief. Barely a minute passed before I was blinking and holding my head and mumbling that I was okay.

            Blacking out in English had been embarrassing. This was just as humiliating, if not more so. The fact that my friend's adoptive father had to catch me did not help things one bit.

            "Urgent Care will be open," Mr. Sagara was saying as I came out of the spell. "Sano, go warm up the car--"

            "No," I said sluggishly. I was searching for somewhere to put my hands so I could pull myself to my feet, but what my mind wanted and what my hands did were not coordinating properly. "I've already seen the doctor."

            "I don't understand."

            "He's waiting for results on some blood testing he got done earlier this week, Dad," Sano explained. "You should lay down, Kenshin."

            "I'll be fine," I protested, finally making my limbs work and latching onto Sano's robe-clad arms. He grunted in disapproval and helped me up.

            "Fainting in the kitchen is not what I'd call fine," he retorted. "Let's get you back to the guest room--"

            "If you're going to banish me, then I can walk myself there," I interrupted him angrily. "Finish your breakfast. I'll go waste the day away in bed."

            Pulling away from Sano's assisting hands, I staggered slightly, steadied myself and continued to the stairs. Forcing myself not to stomp all the way up to the second floor, I retreated to the guest bedroom.

^_^

            It was not all that surprising that the door finally opened. I had sprawled out on my stomach on the day bed and was reading _The Green Mile_. We had to read a contemporary novel by a popular American author for class, or I would never have considered cracking the book. As it was, I was enthralled. Not so engrossed, though, as not to hear someone walk into the room. Irritated with Sano for making such a big deal out of everything when I would rather attempt to live normally, I prepared to ignore him.

            "May I come in?" That was not Sano's voice.

            Startled, I turned to see Mr. Sagara standing in the doorway. He smiled a bit. My initial response would have been "it's your house," but that was inappropriate, so I bit my tongue and nodded. He closed the door behind him and walked into the room. I sat up, moving out of his way so he could sit on the bed as well.

            "First off, I need to ask," he said apologetically. "How are you feeling?"

            "I'm not feeling like I'm going to pass out again anytime soon, if that's what you're asking," I replied uneasily. I marked the page of my book and set it on the bedside table.

            "You did not look like you felt that way before you did earlier, either," Mr. Sagara pointed out.

            There was not much to be said to that, so I said nothing. Mr. Sagara did not seem bothered by my silence.

            "Look, Kenshin," Mr. Sagara looked me square in the eye. "I'll be honest with you. I raised Sano, who was quite the troubled child, on my own. Now, I have Yahiko. And you know what I've discovered?"

            I shook my head when he paused, waiting for a response.

            "I've found that I am constantly struggling to keep up with them," he explained. "Just when I think I've got it figured out, they find something new to throw at me." He hesitated, gathering his thoughts, then continued. "If it's not trouble in school, then it's girls, sex, stealing, or just low self-esteem... Sano told me you had some trouble with drug abuse some years back."

            I was not pleased to find that Mr. Sagara knew of this. I had to remind myself that not all father/son relationships were like the one I held with Uncle Hiko. Sometimes they actually did communicate and share secrets. Go figure.

            "Don't be angry with Sano," Mr. Sagara seemed to read my thoughts. "This fainting business scares him."

            That one startled me. It never occurred to me that anything would frighten Sano. That man was always so forward and bold that it seemed he would walk straight into a fire and never even blink.

            "Forgive me for saying this, but I am taking you as an example in hopes that I can steer my own sons away from where you went," he said quietly. "No parent wants to see his child suffer."

            I thought Uncle Hiko might disagree, but he was not my father. Neither, though, was Mr. Sagara the biological father to Sano and Yahiko.

            "Drugs of any sort have this nasty tendency to mess with a body's natural functions," Mr. Sagara explained. "While this may not be the case right now, it is likely that whatever chemicals you used did some lasting damage. You will probably struggle with your health for the rest of your life."

            Well, that was a depressing thought. Mr. Sagara just smiled encouragingly.

            "My recommendation?" he offered.

            I shrugged and nodded for him to continue.

            "Accept the help your friends have to offer," he said. "They only do so because they care, and you are fortunate in that. Many people in your situation don't have that. When they get sick, no one bothers to help them and no one cares when their bodies shut down from too much abuse. So don't push everyone away. You're obviously frustrated and frightened with this whole thing yourself."

            "I can't control any of it," I mumbled without thinking.

            "Exactly," Mr. Sagara snapped his fingers as if I had just said something key to the conversation. "Which is what frightens Sano so much. I know that as a young man you may not be inclined to share your feelings with everyone around you, but perhaps you could find someone who you could tell. A friend, family member, a counselor, some stranger on the street... don't keep it to yourself."

            "You really think that will help," I said skeptically.

            "I know it will help," Mr. Sagara said with a little smile. "Surely your own parents told you this. I think it's a requirement for every parent to tell their child that."

            "My guardian doesn't buy into all that, I guess," I sighed.

            "In that case, I'm glad I told you," he patted my shoulder lightly.

            "I'm sorry I threw a tantrum in your house, Mr. Sagara," I offered.

            He shrugged, accepting the apology as it was.

            "We're going to a movie this afternoon," he told me then, signaling the end of the serious conversation. "You're more than welcome to join us."

            "Thank you, Mr. Sagara."

            "Don't stay holed up in here all day, even if you don't come," he stood and brushed down his pants to straighten them. "You skipped breakfast, so have some lunch."

            "Of course."

            "Sorry if I am talking down to you, Kenshin," Mr. Sagara chuckled. "I guess I've grouped you into the category with my sons. If I mother you too much, let me know."

            "I don't mind," I assured him, picking up my discarded book. "I'll be down in a little while."

            "Good story?" he wondered.

            "I'm trying not to compare it to the movie too much," I admitted.

            "Which is better?"

            "Let's just say I'm glad they did not put all of the book's contents into the movie," I grimaced. Mr. Sagara laughed and left the room. I opened my book and finished reading the chapter.

^_^

            It was during a group study session that I got a call from Uncle Hiko. Kaoru, Sano, Misao, and Megumi looked on curiously as I got up and answered the phone.

            "Hello?"

            "Kenshin."

            "Uncle Hiko?" I frowned. He never called unless it was to tell me something I needed to know and would never discover otherwise.

            "I have a message here from the hospital," he said bluntly. "Get some paper and a pen."

            I scrambled for the materials, grabbing my notebook out of my Calculus book and the pencil out of Misao's hand, then told him I was ready. If Misao was annoyed, I did not notice. I was far more focused on my uncle's news.

            "They have the results from your testing, and if you call before five, you can get them," he told me. He then rattled off a number, which I scrawled down above some antiderivative calculations.

            "You'll let me know," he said, leaving no room for contradiction.

            "Sure, Uncle Hiko," I replied, a bit breathless, "Thanks."

            "Call them now."

            Dead air. He hung up on me. It was just as well. I returned the phone to the cradle, then lifted it again. Hesitating only for a moment, I punched in the number he gave me.

            "Kenshin?" Kaoru asked uncertainly. I glanced at her, shook my head, and waited for someone to answer the phone.

            "United Hospital. This is Mary. How may I direct your call?"

            I stuttered a bit but managed to get to the proper unit. Then I was transferred through three different people before the right one finally picked up. She had my files ready, thank god. I did not think I could have waited. Already I was trembling with anxious anticipation.

            "It's a type of anemia," she explained, cheerful and gentle at the same time. I never knew a person could speak like that, but she pulled it off like an old pro. "It's rather severe, and we'll need to do a couple more tests so we can determine the exact sort of treatment required."

            "What kind of treatment?" I asked.

            "Most likely a special vitamin regimen," she replied. "It seems that your body is not absorbing it like it should. You may need regular injections, but more likely you'll just take a couple pills every day."

            "Then th-that's... that's it," I stammered, not certain what to say.

            "Can you come back sometime this week?"

            "Uh... sure," I had to remind myself to breathe. "When?"

            She set up another testing appointment, which I wrote down on my notebook. It was barely legible, my hand was shaking so badly, but I would not forget it anyway.

            "We'll see you then, Kenshin," the woman said lightly.

            "Yeah... uh... thanks," I said unsteadily. "Thanks."

            I had to try a few times to hang that phone up, but it eventually made it to the cradle. For a time I just stared at it, trying to decide how to react. My legs were weakening, and I knew I would need to sit very soon.

            "Kenshin?" Kaoru had stood and was next to me, touching my arm cautiously. "What is it? What'd they say?"

            My legs gave out, and I sank down with a shuddering sigh. Kaoru grabbed me, slowing my descent to the carpet so it did not hurt so much when my knees hit the hard floor. I latched onto her, babbling out so much nonsense that it was a wonder anyone made any sense of it. Somehow, I guess they did because suddenly Kaoru was laughing and crying all at once, hugging me so tightly I could barely breathe.

            "My god, Kenshin! So everything's okay!" she cheered.

            Near tears myself, I just nodded and concentrated on the fundamentals of breathing. Then, Misao and Sano joined the pile. Misao flung her arms around my neck and squealed happily while Sano gathered the bunch of us into a great bear hug and pressed his face into my hair. Kaoru later told me he had tears in his eyes, but when I saw him, his eyes were dry.

            "This is cause for celebration!" Megumi declared. "It's still early. Let's go out to eat."

            She received three whole-hearted cheers and one weak nod. My voice was gone for the moment, and it would take me awhile to find it again.

            But for Megumi, none of us could afford much. Megumi suggested the new Hard Rock Cafe, which was ridiculously expensive, but she offered to pay the difference.

            "Don't get used to it," she teased. "I'm only doing it because Kenshin deserves it."

            I blushed at that comment. Megumi then called the restaurant for some reservations. She did not count on the extra bodies that joined us.

            When Kamatari wandered by to see what the fuss was about, he quickly joined the excited group of students, hugging me and spinning me around in a dizzying circle. Chou soon followed and nearly knocked the wind from me when he slapped my back good-naturedly. Misao shyly invited Aoshi along. The stoic man patted my shoulder awkwardly and accepted the invitation.

            Fortunately, the servers at Hard Rock Cafe were a friendly bunch, and they were not at all put out by the three extra people. They shoved a smaller table up next to the one already set up, and the eight of us piled in. My appetite was still down, although more so because I was overwhelmed by the news than for any lack of need. In the end, I did manage to eat half of an immense hamburger and the slice of cake that was on the house, compliments of the enthusiastic restaurant staff.

            That night, for the first time in months, I slept soundly.

^_^

Notes: Whew! A happy conclusion. My apologies for any medical mistakes I made. I did some light research on the subject, and it is not, by any means, one hundred percent correct.

And now:

**Question and Answer with Kamatari**

**Kamatari: Welcome all! Thank you for joining me today. Let's begin. Who has something they would like to ask me?**

*crickets chirping*

**Kamatari: *sweatdrop***

**Fitz: *sighs and raises hand***

**Kamatari: Oh! You there with the black tee-shirt!**

**Fitz: What's with all the stupid names you call people?**

**Kamatari: Interesting that you ask that--**

**Sano: Why the hell did you call me 'chickie'?!**

**Kamatari: Because you look like a brown rooster, and it sounds mean to call you 'chicken.'**

**Sano: Oh.**

**Kamatari: Anyone else?**

**Misao: Why don't you call me 'weasel' like everyone else?**

**Kamatari: Because it doesn't flow quite so nicely as Sparrow. And look at you, cute little chirpy bird!**

**Misao: *nervous giggle***

**Aoshi: '_Darling'?_**

**Kamatari: 'Freeze baby' just did not seem right. If you would prefer, I can call you Snow King.**

**Aoshi: …. Darling is fine.**

**Kamatari: Awww… is that it? Kenshin? You want me to explain your name as well?**

**Kenshin: No.**

**Kamatari: *blink* Why not?**

**Kenshin: I really don't want to know what the alternatives were.**

**Kamatari: You mean you wouldn't like thinking I almost decided to call you Phoenix?**

**Kenshin: …**

**Kaoru: The bird or the city?**

**Kenshin: Kaoru!**

**Kaoru: I'm curious!**

**Kamatari: The legendary bird, of course! Born of flames, a thing of beauty—**

**Kenshin: I think that's enough.**

**Fitz: As this is growing painfully long, I must step in and request that we conclude Question and Answer.**

**Kamatari: Such is the pity. Until next time! *waves madly***

*crickets chirp*

**Kamatari: I am so underappreciated.**

Sano: That was a dumb way to explain those names.

Fitz: Should I have just listed them and the reasons?

Sano: Probably.

Fitz: Crud.

Dear Reviewers,

**Crystal: *hysterical giggling* Um… you made a little typo in your review. I'm trying to determine exactly what 'pissed out' means. *snicker* Ahem. Sorry. Thanks for the review, though.**

**Chiki: Yes, I've been through the whole 'hospital' thing. Surgery three times. And you know? One time, I had the damned thing set for about 7:00 AM, but guess when the surgeon decided to show up? AN HOUR LATER! As if I wasn't freakin' nervous as it was. Oh, and Kamatari is pleased he has a fan.**

**Gochan: I did a little research on this, and I am aware that I made the whole thing a bit more severe than the average case of anemia (did you know there are at least _five different types?!). But the study was not in any great depth, so my apologies if I screwed it up completely._**

**Vesca: Eh, he wasn't cruel as far as Kaoru is involved. He was being juvenile and selfish. Unfortunately, those things tend to lead to cruelty. But we all know Kenshin's not like that, right?**

**Ro-Chan: (for chapter 5) Oh, I'm a great fan of college. *whistling innocently* Hey! I'm back in school! Anyhoo, I agree completely on that relationship thing. I'm not much one for fate, and to be honest—Kaoru is _not drop dead gorgeous, and she's a bit of a brat at times. Some people you have to know beyond the surface to really like them._**

**Gypsy-chan: Shhhhhhh! I haven't seen that yet! *muttergrumble* stupid spoiler story summaries *complainwhine***

**marstanuki: Wow. You're harsh. I give people quite a few tries before I strike them out. I just don't have enough friends to write someone off so quickly. And who knows? Maybe that irritating snot down the street will turn out to be someone you can really relate to in deeper issues. (And suicide is an issue of which I am leery, having had it shoved in my face more than once in my lifetime.)**

**Li: (times two, poor dear) *smirk* I figured it was just a typo, and I was not going to get too upset about it. And as far as the whole family thing goes… that's something that will not be breached for quite some time yet, sorry.**

**Hana**** Himura: Then you know what Kenshin was going through. In fact, it is very similar to what I gave him (at least, according to my light research). I wish you luck on your story, and I will keep an eye open for it.**

**Haruko: The arc ended, but it's not over yet. Eh. I can't have a sad ending. (Well, I could, but I don't like them.) Those depress me.**

**nekonomiko: Glad you liked it so far. I hope I keep up with those standards.**

Sano: Never going to happen.

Fitz: You know, you're getting irritating.

**omochi: I won't kill off my main character. At least… not for quite some time. *insert evil laughter here* I'm kidding! I'm kidding!**


	8. Roommate number two

Disclaimer: I am the Master of the Universe! BWUAHAHAHAHA! Um… Master of the Universe has yet to figure out how to circumvent copyright laws. For now, Rurouni Kenshin does not belong to the Master of the Universe.

Notes: I'm finally back. I've been in a bit of a writer's block for the past couple weeks, pushing out a little here and there… celebrating a birthday. *hums to self* Happy birthday to me… And I went to this play (three one-acts, actually) called Christmas Ghost Stories. Fun fun! Anyhoo… on with the story, no? This chapter's kind of long… I considered breaking it into two parts but decided against it.

Warnings: Um… are there any warnings for this one?

Kenshin: *thinking hard* Um… alcohol usage? Kind of. A bout of depression.

Kaoru: *waving arms around* Why am I not in this chapter?

Fitz: Wrong year. You're haven't met Kenshin yet.

Kaoru: *sulk*

Kenshin: ^_^;;

Onward!!

My Life

            Spending nearly a month under my uncle's roof over winter break was not what I would call a fun time. Unfortunately, my freshman year, that was exactly where I went. However, I had anticipated this, and I procured a job at a local shopping mall as, of all things, a fitting room checker. There was not a lot available for temporary employment. What I found were major clothing chain stores desperate for temps, and I was desperate to get out of the house. So I dressed in khaki pants and a bulky polo shirt, and none of the women particularly minded my presence. Granted, I was always careful where I looked. But it never failed, I would walk by, and some half-dressed woman would grab my arm, shove a shirt into it, and ask me to find it in a different size. I memorized the pattern of the carpet that month.

            Finally, school started again, and I returned to the dorms. I was nervous about that, actually. After almost two months of being without a roommate, I was being paired with a transfer student. Apparently, he was very smart and received a grant from the school to study some chemicals or something. Personally, I avoided chemistry altogether by taking geology as my physical science.

            Naturally, I was a bit apprehensive. My previous experience with a roommate had not been pleasant, and I did not want a repeat performance. I swore to myself that at the first sign of violence, I would file a complaint--or kick the guy's ass. Whichever came first. Prior to winter break, the floor CA had sought me out and made certain I knew I could come to him if I had any problems. Right. Like some skinny computer geek would be able to do better.

            My new roommate was already moving his stuff into the room by the time I got there. He did not have a lot, actually. Really nothing beyond the essentials, his books, and a computer.

            Travel duffel over my shoulder, I walked into the room to find the guy putting his sheets on the top bunk. He stood on the floor doing this, meaning he was another very tall person. Sure, I was really short for a guy--hell, for a _girl_--but how come I got all the six foot and up people around me? Not only that, but he had a more athletic build than Jonas had. He obviously had some arm and leg strength to him.

            He looked up when I dropped my bag in my closet, and I waved halfheartedly.

            "Kenshin Himura?" he asked, his voice a flat, cool tenor.

            "That's me," I confirmed, walking in and holding out my hand politely. He took it in a firm handshake. "No one ever told me your name."

            "It's Shinomori," he said simply. "Aoshi Shinomori."

            He pulled away then and returned to tugging his comforter into place. Feeling a bit awkward, I went back to my closet to unpack my duffel. I later learned this to be an odd thing, but Aoshi broke the silence first.

            "I hear you had some trouble with your previous roommate," he commented while stuffing his pillow into its case. I glanced at him briefly, then nodded and continued to transfer my newly cleaned clothes to a drawer.

            "He was expelled," I answered.

            "What did he do to get expelled?" Aoshi asked, surprised by this bit of information. It _was_ awfully difficult to be expelled from the University. You really had to try.

            "Illegal drugs," I flung my toothbrush up to the counter. "And he tried to kill me."

            "That would do it," Aoshi muttered. I smirked. He threw his pillow on the bed. "That would also explain why a man in the lounge threatened to beat me into the hospital if I tried anything."

            "What'd he look like?"

            "Average height," Aoshi indicated a height slightly shorter than himself. "Brown hair in desperate need of a brush, and very cocky."

            I snorted.

            "That's Sanosuke," I informed him. "But I won't let you do what the other guy did, so you don't have to worry about him."

            "I have to worry about you?" Aoshi lifted an eyebrow at me skeptically. I shrugged.

            "Just don't try to push me around, and we'll get along fine."

            "Fair enough," he allowed me to get away with that mild threat. "Anything else I should know?"

            "That's it," I said with a pained smile. "You?"

            "I'll work odd hours," he said coolly. "So don't be surprised if I come and go at strange times."

            "That doesn't bother me," I waved that off. "That it?"

            He looked at me, his blue eyes narrow in assessment.

            "I am not interested in forming any relationships beyond the platonic," he said bluntly.

            That one pissed me off. He went from being a decent, tolerable young man to a complete ass in five seconds flat.

            "I won't try to play matchmaker, then," I replied icily.

            "And do you have any... significant other?" he asked, not at all put out by my sudden hostility.

            "No," I glared at him. "I don't have any _significant other_. And learn more about a person before you start saying such insinuating things."

            Slamming the last drawer shut, I stalked out of the room and out into the lounge. There, I threw myself back into a chair angrily, still grumbling to myself. Sano and Katsu were watching _Jeopardy_, but they looked away from the television when I came in.

            "What's wrong?" Katsu wondered curiously.

            "My new roommate's an ass," I growled.

            "What'd he do?" Sano demanded, ready to go beat the shit out of Aoshi.

            "All but told me not to start hitting on him," I said, then grumbled under my breath about presumptuous assholes.

            Sano and Katsu both laughed, and I glared at them balefully. I was in the chair next to Katsu, and he casually reached up and brushed some of my heavy bangs back. I frowned at him, but he just smiled deliberately.

            "You do have the look about you, Kenshin," he pointed out.

            The 'gay' look. As if I was suddenly going to take to cross-dressing and go find a bar with a rainbow in the window. Maybe I should have joined that club for homosexuals on principle.

            "I am so sick of people telling me that," I replied hotly. "I don't go around calling girls dykes because they chop their hair into 'boy cuts.'"

            "Stereotypes are difficult to overcome," Katsu said with a little smile. "If you'd like, I can go show him how a true gay man behaves."

            "Would you really do that?" I asked curiously. Katsu blinked. Apparently he did not think I would respond so positively to that suggestion. Just the thought of Aoshi getting red-faced and indignant over Katsu's suggestive words was enough to make me consider it. I could not help it. The man just rubbed me wrong.

            "Only if he seems worth the effort," Katsu answered with a sly smile. "Not many people are."

            I hated it when Katsu looked at me like that. Sano broke in then, to my relief.

            "You never flirted with me, Katsu," he remarked. Katsu sighed and smiled blandly at Sano.

            "What does that say about you?" he wondered.

            "Hey!"

            I chuckled. The continual insults that flew between those two never ceased to astound me. Sano slapped my back lightly.

            "Give it up, Kenshin," he suggested. "Sometimes, you just can't win."

            "Kenshin."

            All three of us jumped and whirled to see the subject of our conversation standing in the TV lounge entrance. To my surprise and discomfort, Katsu leaned forward, draping an arm over my shoulders.

            "Aoshi!" he greeted. "We were just talking about you."

            "I have no doubt--" Aoshi started.

            "After the dramatic end to Kenshin's last roommate, we will all be following this semester's roommate closely," Katsu interrupted. I was distracted by the way he toyed with the hair that fell over my shoulder. Annoyed, I stood to get away from it. Whatever the guy's game was, I wanted no part of it.

            "What is it, Aoshi?" I asked, giving my new roommate opportunity to complete what he had begun to say.

            "Someone is on the phone for you."

            Tossing an irritated glare at the two young men who were snickering in the lounge, I followed Aoshi back to the room. He went back to unpacking, and I picked up the phone.

            "Yeah?"

            "Was that your roommate?"

            Uncle Hiko. The day kept getting better and better.

            "Yes, it was."

            "Hn," Uncle Hiko grunted. "You going to have any problems with him?"

            I glanced at Aoshi. The blue-eyed bastard was placing his books on the shelf with great precision. His gaze shifted to the side slightly, and for a moment, he just stared at the photographs taking up minimal space near the corner. In one, there were an elegant man with black hair and brown eyes and a stunning woman with blue eyes and red hair. In the other, a beautiful young woman and myself. She was smiling just slightly, and I was behind her, laughing with my arms flung around her neck.

            Aoshi glanced at me briefly, then back to the photographs. Then, he continued to unpack his books.

            "Kid?"

            "Fine," I said, snapping back to the present. I looked back at that second photograph--the one with me in it. "Everything will be fine. Uncle Hiko?"

            "What do you want?"

            "It's the seventeenth next Thursday," I turned my gaze to the floor then. "We'll still..."

            "Yes, Kenshin," his voice softened, as it only did when we broached this topic. "We'll still go."

            "Okay," I sighed. "Thanks, Uncle Hiko."

            "Just make sure I don't get anymore calls from the police telling me my charge nearly got himself killed."

            He hung up. I rolled my eyes and returned the phone to the cradle. Lifting my eyes, I found that Aoshi was watching me. I frowned.

            "What?"

            "I thought you might like to know," he said, looking just a little... nervous? Weary? I could not tell. Not exactly content, that was for sure. "A few friends of mine are planning to stop in this afternoon."

            "Uh... Okay," I shrugged. Who cared? I could easily avoid that.

            Aoshi looked like he wanted to say something more. In the end, he just closed his mouth, shook his head, and went back to straightening his books. He spent a good twenty minutes on that shelf, organizing and reorganizing those books to his liking. Weirdo. I went out to the lounge to watch _The Simpsons_ like normal college students do.

^_^

            That night did not go at all like I had planned. Granted, my 'plan' had been to remain in the dorm all of Saturday night, turn in fairly early, sleep in Sunday morning, and go to a movie Sunday afternoon with Sano and Katsu. That was before a group of four _very_ strange men appeared by the lounge.

            "Which one?"

            "The red hair."

            I looked up curiously from the game of 'Go Fish' to which Sano had challenged me. The other three students in the lounge looked at me, then up at the newcomers.

            They were an odd-looking bunch. The first man you saw was the biggest. He nearly filled the large doorway, being almost seven feet tall and all bulk. His was not a handsome face. In fact, none of these men were very good looking. I was willing to bet none of them had been on a date in quite some time.

            The other three were less conspicuous than that huge man who drew the eye. There was a tall, slender man with scars on his face that could only have been made by fire. To his right, the man was quite a bit taller than the second, and bigger. He had the muscles of a dedicated bodybuilder. And the last man was shorter than I, for a change. His face was angular and pinched into a weird smirk.

            Through the glass partition, I saw Aoshi emerge from the wing and walk to the little group. He did not move his gaze from the four men.

            "Where are we going?" he asked. So these were his friends. I certainly had not pictured such a motley group.

            "Joe's is a decent place," the muscled man said.

            "Then let's go," Aoshi suggested quietly, moving toward the elevator hall.

            "Right!" the other four chorused. Then, two of them walked into the lounge instead of following Aoshi. Sano looked at me, trying to figure out what was happening, but I could not have told him. I was too busy staring at the manic grin on that really strong-looking guy even if I did have an answer.

            "You are Kenshin?" the scarred one asked.

            "Um... yes, I am," I replied warily, then yelped as the other guy grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. "Hey!"

            Just like a protective dog, Sano was on his feet and pushing between me and the man.

            "What do you think you're doing?" he demanded.

            "We all want to meet Aoshi's roommate," the short one announced from the doorway. "We're treating him, along with Aoshi, to dinner."

            "Huh?" Sano was baffled. More than a little confused myself, I did not protest when the strong guy and his slender friend hooked their arms through mine and dragged me out of the lounge. It was not an easy thing. Both of them were quite a bit taller than I was, so my feet were barely touching the floor by the time we reached the elevators. Behind us, Sano was getting irritated. "Wait a minute! Where are you going?"

            "Sano..." I murmured quietly. I had known people like this before. They were intimidating at first appearance, but usually, they were harmless. Just out for a good time. Despite the way they carried me around, I was not feeling particularly threatened.

            "Put him down!" Sano demanded.

            "Calm down... is it Sanosuke?" Aoshi interjected.

            "We don't even know you," Sano growled. "I'm not letting you take him out who knows where--"

            "Joe's," the scarred man offered. "It's on Washington and University."

            "I know where Joe's is!"

            "Sano!" I broke in then. It would escalate into a shouting match if someone did not step in. Being that I was the reason Sano was going all knight-in-shining-armor on us, I took it upon myself to straighten out the situation. "It'll be fine."

            "You said that last semester," Sano pointed out.

            "Yeah, I was lying then," I sighed.

            "And you're not now?" Sano asked incredulously. Did he not think I was trustworthy? Geez. You bend the truth a few dozen times, and suddenly they think you're a pathological liar.

            "Here," Aoshi pushed a piece of paper into Sano's hand at that point. "It's my cell phone number. If we're not back by one, feel free to call. If we're not back by two, call the police."

            Sano glared at Aoshi, then looked at the scrap. He scowled and looked to me, just as the elevator dinged and opened. I sighed.

            "'Later, Sano," I muttered, then was stuffed back into the elevator with those four men and my roommate. The doors shut, and I looked up at the men around me.

            That big guy was _huge_. I mean, he had to duck to get into the elevator. Four people could stand in the space he took up. Not that the others were small. Well, that one guy was really short, but the man with the scarred face was around Aoshi's height, and the guy who must have worked out every day in his life was a head taller. I felt very small suddenly, stuck in the elevator with them.

            "So, Aoshi's new roommate," the muscular guy grinned at me. "I'm Shikijou. Good to meet you!"

            "Uh... hi, Shikijou--"

            "And this is Hannya," he pointed at the man with the burn scars. I nodded at Hannya nervously, then followed Shikijou's next motion. "The short guy's Beshimi, and the big one's Hyottoko."

            As we stepped into the lobby, it occurred to me that I had left my jacket in my room. Feeling a bit sheepish, I pointed this out. This, in turn, provoked an equally sheepish response. In the end, rather than going back to retrieve my jacket, Shikijou said he had an extra sweater in the van. So that night, I wore a sweatshirt big enough for someone three times my size and had a picture of the Warner Brother's Tasmanian devil on the front.

^_^

            We had hamburgers and pop at Joe's, and I got to learn more about Aoshi than I ever needed to know. For example, his last girlfriend dumped him because he had gotten the grant _she_ wanted. And apparently, he used to be a dancer. That is, until his dedication to his studies interfered. He had to choose, and he chose science. While it was all very interesting, it was information I did not necessarily need to hear.

            Against my better judgment, I agreed to join the group when they suggested we take some time to explore the campus. After all, it was after ten and very dark and cold out. Minnesota January's were not known for their kind weather conditions.

            While we waited, shivering on the sidewalk, Shikijou dug around in the back of his van for something. Correction. _I_ was shivering. The others did not seem to mind the cold so much. I tucked my hands under my arms and shifted a bit so that I stood beside Hyottoko, who blocked the worst of the wind.

            "Cold, Kenshin?" Hannya asked mildly. Of the group, I liked him the most. The others were nice enough, but Hannya was the least offensive when it came to typical male habits.

            "A little," I muttered, not that my chattering teeth did not give it away.

            "Shikijou!"

            "I'm on it!"

            A few seconds later, the van door slammed shut, and Shikijou joined us. He handed Hyottoko something that looked suspiciously like a six-pack and dropped a bulky shirt into my arms.

            "That should keep you warm," Shikijou said with a grin. "Let's go."

            It was one of those polar fleece things. I pulled it on and followed the group toward Northrop mall. While it was very dark, there were street lights, so we could see.

            Hyottoko passed around bottles, which were promptly opened and guzzled. I didn't drink the beer. Just having it in my hand was enough to agitate me, but I kept my mouth shut. At least they were not having more than the one bottle apiece.

            "This is a nice campus," Beshimi commented.

            "Hn," Aoshi agreed.

            "Hey, Kenshin!" Shikijou called. He seemed to like dragging me into the conversations. "You like the U?"

            "It's okay," I shrugged. It was a school. So huge that a person like me was little more than a number in their computer network. 'himu0009' if one wanted to be specific. Not that it bothered me. I had enough of being singled out in high school to last me a lifetime. Anonymity was a welcome relief.

            "What's your experience been so far?"

            "Go to class, study, write papers, take tests, eat and sleep," I answered. "That's about it."

            "Sounds dull."

            "It's better than excitement," I countered.

            "That's a strange thing to say," Hannya observed. I shrugged and did not answer. To be perfectly honest, I did not want to talk about Jonas. He was gone, over and done with. What was the point in going back and hashing over the whole ugly experience again?

            We walked past the Chemistry building, pausing briefly before it. Aoshi's friends bantered back and forth over the place, finally deciding it was suitable for him. They were intrigued by the pathway between two of the buildings, built like a cave with two exits. It was a very short tunnel where students parked their bikes in the fall, spring, and summer. The bikes left for the winter were rusted out things no one wanted to touch. Even thieves left those alone.

            At that point, I decided I could go no longer without a bathroom. I ducked into the Chemistry building, grateful it was only after ten-thirty, and the building had yet to be locked down for the night. Two minutes later, I walked back out again.

            Those jerks were gone. I had told them I would be right back, but when I reached the place I had left them, there was no one in sight. I looked over toward the river, but all I saw was one man, tripping and stumbling along the sidewalk. So it was me, some drunkard, and the night. And Aoshi had that damned cell phone. A lot of good it did me when I was separated from them.

            Grumbling curses under my breath, I walked around the Chemistry building once. Still, I did not find them.

            _Why does this shit always happen to me?_

            If I did not find the group soon, I would have to walk back to the dorm alone. I had done it before during the day, but I did not look forward to walking across the Washington Avenue bridge in the dark. It was nearly a mile walk from where I was.

            I was pissed. Growling angrily, I turned and whipped my unopened beer bottle at the nearest large, solid object I could find--that being the Chemistry building. The cap exploded off the bottle, which soon followed in a tinkle of glass on the pavement.

            "_Hey!_"

            I cursed again and looked up to see a man with a flashlight jogging in my direction. It would have been a simple matter to outrun him, but the light suddenly flashed in my eyes, and he shouted again.

            "Hold it right there!"

            A cop on night patrol. He had probably just gotten out of his car to stretch his legs or relieve himself in the bushes somewhere, and I was just lucky enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

            _Why me? _Why_ is it always me?!_

            The stress levels were up, and I wanted desperately to smoke or have some of that alcohol I had just wasted against a brick wall. I hugged myself to stave off a sudden chill. 

            The cop stopped in front of me, still shining his flashlight in my face.

            "Do you mind?" I muttered. "It's hard enough to see without that light in my eyes."

            "What do you think you're doing?" the man demanded, gesturing to the wall. "You think that's funny?"

            "I'm sorry," I sighed. "I was frustrated."

            "That smells like alcohol!" Bravo for the cop for having a good sniffer. I was cursing up a storm in my mind. "You barely look sixteen, girl--" _Bastard!_ "Let's see some ID."

            Hissing softly in attempt not to swear at the police, I fumbled with the layers of bulky shirts to find my pockets. I produced my student badge and keys and handed the ID to the cop. It was the only thing I had on me, of course. Nowhere on that card did it give my age or gender.

            "Kenshin, this doesn't help you."

            "I'm eighteen, and I wasn't drinking," I said, growing more frustrated by the moment.

            "If that's so, you mind telling me why a girl would be walking alone at eleven o'clock on a Saturday night?"

            "I don't know why a girl would do that," I growled. "But a guy like me might have just been ditched by the group he was with."

            "Sorry about the mistake there, kid," the cop handed me my ID. "But that does not excuse what you just did."

            "You want me to pick it up?!" I demanded. It probably was not wise to be so antagonistic. Thinking better of it, I quickly backed down. "Sorry!" I held up my hands in apology. God, I was tired of putting up with this shit. "Sorry. I'll pick it up."

            Maybe it was the apology. Maybe it was my bone-weary voice. Whatever the cause, the officer was sympathetic.

            "Don't bother, kid," the man sighed. "You sound like you're having a rough enough time without cutting yourself on broken glass. Look, I'll escort you home."

            "I don't need an escort--"

            "Kenshin?! Who's that you're talking to?"

            I blinked dumbly at the sound of Shikijou's voice ringing through the darkness. Turning, I looked up the stairs to see him looking down at us curiously.

            "Where have you been?" he demanded. "We've been looking all over for you!"

            I wanted to go to the wall and do to my head what I had just done to that beer bottle. The cop looked at me curiously.

            "The friends who you lost?" he asked.

            Sighing noisily, I held a hand to my forehead, rubbing the tension there.

            "Why does this always happen to me?" I muttered, trudging up the stairs to join Shikijou.

            "Consider this a warning, Kenshin," the cop called out after me. "If I catch you out here littering again, I'll have to issue a fine."

            "You won't catch me again," I called back. Shikijou slapped my back good-naturedly.

            "Let's head back, kid," he suggested. "Beshimi and Hyottoko went ahead to warm up the van."

            "Where did you go?" I asked tiredy.

            "We were waiting in the building," Shikijou shrugged. "We must have just missed each other."

            "Great," I shook my head angrily. I was ready to go back to my room. "Just great."

            We met up with Hannya and Aoshi, and together we walked back to the van. Thank god, but the night was over.

            At least no one had been there when that cop had mistaken me for a girl.

^_^

            January was always bad. Out of the whole year, I hated that month the most. Every year around the middle of January, I slipped into a bit of a funk. It was an effort to do anything--eat, sleep, go to class... anything. I spent most of my time in my room. It annoyed the hell out of Aoshi.

            "Do you ever leave the room?" he asked me one night.

            "Sure," I did not look up from my book. I had no idea what book I was reading. "I had a class this afternoon."

            "That's it?"

            "I'll go to the library tomorrow," I turned the book to look at the cover. _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_. Uncle Hiko gave it to me for Christmas... probably. Page sixteen, and I could not have told anyone what was happening. "And breakfast... dinner. More class."

            Aoshi shook his head and picked up his bag.

            "I'll be at the lab late tonight," he announced. "Good night."

            I grunted my acknowledgment and flipped the pages of my book. Page one.

^_^

            By the end of the month, I was okay again. I even ventured out to the lounge to watch _Will and Grace_. Sano walked in while I was out there and rubbed his knuckle on my head roughly, making me cringe and glare at him.

            "Hey, stranger!" he greeted. "You finally recovering from Christmas?"

            It was January twenty-ninth. Well over a month past the holiday.

            "Yeah," I smiled and consciously pushed all my dark thoughts to the corner of my mind. "I think so."

            "Good," he smirked. "Because there's a movie playing at the Uptown cinema that you're taking me to."

            "Uptown is a lot of money," I said uneasily.

            "Blame Katsu," Sano laughed and walked out of the room. "He said he doesn't want to watch any of that animated crap."

            "Animated?"

            "Sure," he shrugged. "How about it?"

            "When did you--

            "Saturday, it's playing," he winked and gestured down the hall. "I've got a night class. I'll talk to you later, Kenshin. Bye!"

            I stared after him, feeling vaguely like I'd been run down by a student on bicycle.

            "...Bye, Sano," I said, though he had been gone for quite some time. Everyone around me started laughing, and I looked back to the television screen, hoping for a few laughs of my own.

^_^

            After nearly a month of being cooped up in my room, I found myself restless to the point where I could barely spend a spare minute in it. The first weekend was the worst. Other than that movie Sano dragged me to, I had nothing to do. Even homework was not enough. Desperate to be free of the tiny room Sunday afternoon, I picked up a book and left the room, intending to spend some time in the TV lounge reading.

            There were a couple students already there, but I had never let that bother me. This time, however, I stopped short of the door, not quite able to see the students. I could hear them quite clearly.

            "--rfect for each other," one young man laughed. "Who says the U can't match up roommates?"

            "That new guy--what's his name?" another guy said--his voice was very deep.

            "Aoshi, I think." This was what made me stop.

            "I didn't think it was possible, but I think he's colder than Kenshin!"

            I frowned, frozen where I stood in the hall. Wisdom told me it would be best to turn around and pretend I had not heard anything--that, or continue into the men's line of sight. That would have shut them up. But my feet were rooted in place. And they did not stop.

            "What's with the two of them, anyway?"

            "Aoshi's just a prick. I'd just like to know what's up that runt. I mean--the mood swings, the long hair... you think maybe he's really a _she_?"

            The pair burst into snorting laughter. Still hiccupping with laughter, one of them spoke again.

            "Wonder what he'd do if someone chopped that hair off!" he joined his friend, laughing again, who responded with a breathless, "Someone should try it!"

            My anger was such that I could hardly think. As I walked slowly back to my room, an image of Jonas--that bastard--popped into my mind.

            _"I don't know what you're planning, _fag_..."_

            I growled softly, dropping the book without caring where it fell. My feet barely made it into the correct shoes while I pulled on my winter jacket at the same time. Grabbing my keys, I stormed back out of the room, barely taking the time to lock the door. I didn't know what I would do if I passed the TV lounge and those two were still talking like they were, so I took the stairs down seven flights and went straight out the door.

            Once outside, I started running. Across the street, through the courtyard, up the concrete steps, and to the bridge. At that point, I had a long, open space, free for the taking.

            If there's one thing I can boast about, it's my speed. Early on in high school, I was the top sprinter in the state. After I pulled my life back into some semblance of order, I started running again, mostly to get back into shape. In a matter of months, I was almost to my original level of skill. Over a year later, I was faster than ever.

            People seemed startled when I whipped past them, but I did not care. I was just blowing off a little steam. Very little. I still felt the need to hit someone.

            I had to slow down at the end of the bridge for risk of running into anything. Perhaps I was fast, but I was not able to stop on a dime--or alter my course very quickly. After running into a wall or two, a person tended to learn not to do that anymore.

            Even so, I was still moving rapidly when I hit the snow-covered mall. It had not snowed much that year, which I did not mind at all, and the University always kept the sidewalks clear. I shot around a corner, heading down the sidewalk. Up another flight of stairs, and into the bicycle tunnel.

            Someone stepped off the stairs, right in front of me. I had an instant to stop. Yeah, right.

            We collided, hitting the ground in a heap of limbs and fluttering papers. I grunted and tried to extricate myself from my unsuspecting victim. That would hurt later.

            "What are you doing?"

            Stunned, I stared at Aoshi. He did not look pleased, but he did not say much else as he pulled away and started picking up his papers.

            "Sorry," I muttered, reaching to help him with his scattered homework.

            "You're crumpling it," he snatched the papers out of my hand. "I'll do it."

            "Excuse me for breathing," I snapped, standing and stalking off. What _was_ it with everyone? A bunch of hypocritical jerks, all of them! I never did anything to them. What right did they have to treat me like that?

            "Kenshin, wait!"

            Sighing loudly, I stopped and glared over my shoulder as Aoshi jogged toward me, his folders once again in pristine condition.

            "What?" I demanded.

            "Where are you going?" he asked, slowing to a walk when he was close enough to converse without shouting.

            "I don't know," I shrugged and reached to unzip my jacket. After running so much, I was warm. "Why?"

            "You're alone?" he asked awkwardly.

            "Do you see anyone with me?" I gestured to the empty space around us. Aoshi just lifted his eyebrow at me.

            "It's almost dark," he pointed out.

            "By god, it is," I looked at the sky, rapidly changing from dark blue to a deep sapphire. "What of it?"

            "A person..." he stumbled over the words. "Someone of your... stature... should not walk around Minneapolis alone."

            "Someone of my _stature_," I echoed mockingly. I was angrier than I had originally thought. Typically, I was not so bold with my insults. "You think I can't handle myself?"

            "I did not intend to imply--"

            "Well, you did," I growled. "And I _can_ handle myself, thank you."

            He stopped me before I could leave, his hand on my arm. I scowled.

            "Have you any plans for tonight?" he asked.

            I could not come up with a response to that, so I continued to glare at him. He was not at all fazed.

            "Do you know how to fight?" he pressed.

            _Huh??!_

            "What?"

            "I know some Kenpo," he explained. "But I don't know of anyone who could be my sparring partner."

            "You want me to fight you?" _Kenpo__?!!_ What the hell was that? It sounded vaguely Japanese. Some sort of karate, I was figuring. "Are you serious?"

            "The gym will have some mats," Aoshi shrugged. "Are you a decent fighter?"

            "I guess..." I was intrigued. My bad mood fell away at this new development. I was curious as to how this would turn out.

            Pushing away all hesitation, I fell into step next to Aoshi, and we walked to the gym.

^_^

            _Owie__..._ I winced as I walked with Aoshi back to the dorm. After over an hour of being thrown around, I was sore.

            "Are you okay?" Aoshi had noticed my flinch.

            "Eh heh heh heh... yeah," I smiled weakly. "I've never done that before."

            "Sparred with someone?" Aoshi seemed surprised.

            "Well... it was just judo lessons," I sighed. "The occasional competition. Nothing that involved going against anyone other than the instructor."

            "You were not bad, considering," Aoshi observed.

            "Says the man who flipped me and threw me into a wall more than once," I grumbled.

            "You also caught me off-guard a few times," Aoshi shook his head. That was true. I did get him several times, actually. It was quite a thrill to send someone sprawling to the floor, even if the ground was padded. "Do you practice much?"

            "Not since last summer," I admitted. "And not for a few years before that."

            "Then that is why I beat you," he walked through the door at the end of the bridge and held it open for me to follow. I nodded my thanks, still rubbing my side tenderly. "You have the potential to be better than I am. I could see it in your movements."

            "You think so?" I thought he was just trying to stroke my ego, but Aoshi really was not like that. Even so, I found it difficult to accept that compliment. "And I suppose you're the expert on these things."

            He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, a slight smirk on his face. Then, he shrugged and walked down the steps to the courtyard. He never did answer me, and I was not inclined to press the issue.

            Aoshi took off at such a stride that I had to jog to keep up with him. He glanced at me, then slowed his pace. Fast I may have been, but his legs were longer.

            We took the elevator to the seventh floor and walked back to the room together. The two glacial men of the floor.

^_^

            For the most part, Aoshi was a dull roommate. He was gone, off in lab most times, and if we were ever in the room together, he was a silent companion. Small talk and Aoshi did not mix. Other than that, we did not have much to talk about. He was a chemistry major, and I avoided the subject like I would the plague. My opinion was that he was just boring. Except on one occasion.

            It was a Thursday night in late April. The day had been cloudy and cool, the night the same. Nights like that, a lot of students stayed indoors. I was out in the social lounge, studying for a Spanish exam with Megumi. Well, I studied Spanish. Megumi worked on a microbiology report. At the beginning, Sano had been there too, working on his math assignment, but he quickly bored of that and went to watch _Clue_ in the TV lounge.

            Aoshi's friends had arrived earlier that day to take Aoshi to some movie. They invited me along, but I declined. Because trying to understand the difference between Spanish past and imperfect verb tenses was so much more enticing.

            "I give up," I grumbled, shoving the notebook away. Two hours of studying was more than enough. I would do well on the test, or I wouldn't. Either way, I would be doing no more studying that night. My brain was fried. "It's impossible."

            "If it was impossible, no one would speak the language," Megumi informed knowledgeably.

            I frowned at her, then sighed noisily and leaned back in my chair. Stretching my arms out over my head, I glanced around to see what everyone else was doing. It was then that Aoshi returned.

            Shikijou was with him. In fact, he was the only reason Aoshi was still on his feet. He was a lot taller than Aoshi, but he was easily strong enough to carry the man should he need to. As it was, he had an arm around Aoshi's back and was guiding him into the lounge cautiously.

            Of course, Shikijou spotted me right away.

            "Hey there, Kenshin!" he called out cheerfully. "Come help me with your roommate!"

            I glanced at Megumi in wide-eyed alarm, but she just smiled and shrugged. Groaning softly, I stood and walked across the room. It was not difficult to guess why Aoshi was so off balance, especially when I got close enough to smell the alcohol on him.

            "What did you do to him?" I asked mildly.

            "Ah... Beshimi spiked his drink," Shikijou said, a bit embarrassed. Of course. All of Aoshi's friends were older than he was--that is, over the drinking age.* "He's never been able to handle alcohol very well."

            Aoshi snorted softly, apparently understanding what Shikijou had said.

            "I'm fine," he declared. "If you'd stop pushing me around..."

            With that, he pulled away from Shikijou's helping hands. The taller man tried to help him, but Aoshi was determined, it seemed. He stumbled away, right into me. I had to catch him or risk being crushed by my drunken roommate.

            "Ooof!" I gasped, cringing away from the sharp stink of liquor on his breath. "For god's sake! What did you give him?"

            "Not a clue," Shikijou chuckled. "I think some vodka... and maybe a little whisky."

            "You _mixed_ drinks?" I asked reproachfully.

            "Beshimi did," Shikijou said quickly. "The guys are waiting for me downstairs. You mind taking him? Thanks, kid. I owe you."

            He took off like there were demons chasing after him with flaming pitchforks.

            "Wait!" I protested, unable to follow him with Aoshi in my arms. "What am I supposed to do with him?!"

            Of course, the man did not reply. I was left there, in the middle of the floor social lounge, my tipsy roommate almost on his knees, most of his weight against me. He really was not that heavy, and I was pretty strong for my size. But it was not easy to maneuver something so much larger than me.

            "What kind of shampoo do you use?" asked Aoshi. His face was buried in the hair at my neck. I don't think he had the ability to move away. "Not bad... do you know what kind of chemicals they use to make it smell like that?"

            I sighed. The people around me thought it was about the funniest thing they had seen all year. Even Megumi was chuckling softly to the side, although most of the students were in hysterics.

            I was getting irritated. None of them even offered to help. Had Megumi been much for this kind of thing, she probably would have. Sano was nowhere to be seen.

            Aoshi sneezed, and I shivered unhappily. Right into my hair... God, that was disgusting. I nearly dropped him. If he had taken the alcohol on his own, I would have. He would have deserved to spend the night passed out in the middle of the floor.

            Growling in annoyance, I shifted my grip to the front of his shirt and shoved him back. He reeled, looking a little surprised as I forced him back to his feet.

            "What are you doing?" he snapped, suddenly mad.

            "Taking you to your room," I replied, just as angry as he. "Because your friends thought it would be funny to dump you rather than help you to bed."

            "I don't need help," he grunted.

            "You don't? Well, then!" I let go of his shirt and let him topple. The lucky bastard managed to catch the wall. I went back to the table where Megumi still sat and picked up my books. By the time I was to the hall, Aoshi had managed to lower himself into a chair.

            "Kenshin!" Megumi called out uncertainly. "Are you going to leave him?"

            "I'm thinking about it," I replied irately. But after I dropped my stuff in my room and shoved the sheets back on my bed, which was the lower bunk, I trudged back to the lounge. Aoshi was dozing, his chin on his chest, while several students snickered around him. The idiots. I wondered where Sano had gone. The jerk could have helped.

            "Get up," I ordered, grabbing Aoshi's collar and yanking him to his feet. He staggered and nearly fell on me again. Not giving him the opportunity to recover, I dragged him down the hall. He did well, actually, without that time to think. His feet moved on their own accord, following my lead, into the room. Once to the bed, he fell and was content not to get up again.

            "You're not even a funny drunk," I informed him as I tugged his shoes off his feet. "Idiot."

            "You know who you look like?" he asked me. I did not look at him. I was too busy trying to shove his feet under the blankets. I indulged him.

            "Who do I look like?"

            "If your hair and eyes were brown... and you were a lot taller... and had bigger breasts--" I glared at him. He did not notice. "Then you look just like my late fiancée."

            _Late fiancée--!_ I blinked.

            "She died, you know," he sighed and stared at the underside of the top bunk. "Carbon monoxide poisoning."

            "I'm sorry," I muttered, pulling the covers up to his chin.

            "Bad furnace," he grumbled, voice fading away as he drifted into slumber. "Sued the people who made it. Sued them out of business... but it didn't bring her back..."

            He sighed again, and he was gone. I shook my head. He was going to have one hell of a hangover.

^_^

*For all people not familiar with laws in the US, this would be 21.

^_^

            Aoshi made a surly companion when he was hung over. I was something of a morning person, so I was awake to witness his irritable awakening. In fact, I was preparing for my morning class when he woke.

            His low groan alerted me that he was awake. At the moment, I was pacing the room, combing out the tangles in my hair and glaring at the wet spots on my shirt. I had yet to solve that problem. No matter what I did, if my hair was wet when I dressed, it soaked the shoulders of my shirt.

            "What time is it?" he asked, his face buried in his--_my_--pillow.

            "About ten after nine," I replied, setting down the comb and searching for a binder. What was it about those little elastics that they always disappeared? I could put one down, right in the same place I always put it, and the next time I looked, it would be gone. They were like library cards. You lost them, searched all over the place for them, then gave up. After you bought another, you returned and immediately located the one you lost.

            "Nnnngh... who hit me?"

            "Your friends and a couple bottles of hard liquor," I replied. "Don't you have a class at ten? That TA job?"

            He muttered something that sounded suspiciously vulgar, then flung his arm out, hand reaching toward me. I frowned at him.

            "Trash can..." his muffled voice requested.

            A bit confused, I grabbed his trash bin from beside his desk and brought it to him. As soon as it hit his fingers, he grabbed it, dragged his upper body around, and threw up into it.

            "Ugh!" I had to turn away from that, wincing at the unpleasant sound. It would have been nice to have some advanced warning. Feeling a little ill myself, I snatched up my bag, a spring jacket, and my shoes and made a beeline for the door. "You'd better have that emptied by the time I get back here!"

            "Go to hell," he managed before heaving again. That was just disgusting. I darted out of the room, the door slamming behind me. People didn't like others making all that noise so early in the day, but I didn't care. It was better than the sounds _he_ was making!

            I had to go to Katsu's room after that. Sano would have been asleep, not that he would have been able to solve my dilemma anyway.

            "Good morning, Kenshin," Katsu blinked at me. I rarely visited him without Sano dragging me along in a headlock. "You look... disheveled."

            He was referring to my hair, still wet and unbound. I sighed and frowned at him.

            "Aoshi's making the room a rather unpleasant place to be," I admitted. "I did not want to stay to search for anything..." I gestured vaguely to my appearance. "Do you have anything extra?"

            "I always have something to hold my hair back when I paint," he said with a little smile. "You want to borrow one?"

            "I would appreciate it," I followed him into the room cautiously. His room was a mess to my eyes. There were art supplies all over the place--paints, clean and unused canvases, paint palettes, brushes, and various other things I did not know as well. Katsu seemed to know exactly what went where and had no problem with the clutter. I would have gone nuts in this mess.

            "Will this work?" he held out a green ribbon. I blinked at it, then nodded and accepted the offer.

            "Sure." I was a bit leery. How the heck was I supposed to use that thing? It was not easy to hold hair back and tie a ribbon with only two hands. My uncertainty must have been visible because Katsu smirked.

            "Here," he snatched the ribbon from my hand and pushed me around. I stumbled a bit and stood awkwardly as he fixed my hair for me. "There!" he said happily. "That looks good. Have you ever thought of braiding--"

            "No," I snapped off immediately. Absolutely not! As if I didn't look girlish as it was. Now let's stick me in braids. I'd have every stranger on the street calling me 'miss.'

            "It's your hair," Katsu backed down quickly. He knew better than to press the issue. "Just out of curiosity, what is Aoshi doing that you don't want to be in the room with him?"

            "He's hung over," I explained, pulling on my jacket and making my way back to the hall. I wanted to get to class early so I could spend more time studying for the test. "He threw up into the trash bin."

            "How pleasant," Katsu grimaced.

            "I've got to go," I backed out of the room cautiously. Thus far, Katsu had not hit on me once. I hoped to keep it that way. "Thanks for the string--"

            "Ribbon," he corrected me.

            "Ribbon... um, thanks," I nodded. "Yeah. I'll bring it back tonight."

            "What's the rush?" Katsu had that awful gleam in his eyes.

            "Class," I said quickly. "I've got a test."

            "Ah," he smiled. "Well, come back and visit me anytime, Kenshin."

            "Sure, Katsu," I was in the hallway. What a relief. "Thanks. I'll, uh... I'll see you later."

            I fled to the elevator.

^_^

More notes: Kenshin's ordeal with Aoshi and his friends was meant to be realistic more than humorous or depressing… whichever occurred to you. Because doesn't it just figure? It's like when you search the refrigerator for the jelly (or whatever) and you can't find it. Then someone else looks in and says, "It's right there!" and points to it, right where it should be and where it always has been, countless times before. It's at times like that when I have to sheepishly respond with, "I knew that." No one ever buys that load of bull.

**Random Omake #1:** Kenshin meets Aoshi.

**Kenshin**: *shaking Aoshi's hand* No one ever told me your name.

**Aoshi**: It's Bond. _James_ Bond.

**Kenshin**: ...

**Misao**: *steps forward, wearing a slinky black dress*

**Aoshi**: Meet my sexy girl-of-the-month. Misao We Sel.

**Kenshin**: ......

**Random Omake #2: A challenge.**

**Sano**: Give it up, Kenshin. Sometimes, you just can't win.

**Kenshin**: No! I won't give up!

**Sano**: *sigh* You'll never win.

**Kenshin**: You are not beating me at checkers!

To my adored reviewers:

**Gypsy-chan: *smirk* I had that happen to me once. Halloween, and I was sick sick sick, and all these people kept knocking on my door, wanting me to go party with them. Eh heh… no. And I'm glad you liked the 'talk.' I was leery of that.**

**Jason M. Lee: Ah… you're right. In the show, Kamatari is a cross dresser. In this story, he's a transvestite. One of the little things I altered as Shishio might not—probably won't—make an appearance in this fic.**

**Hana**** Himura: I guess I'm patient enough to wait…**

**Chiki: While I've played Street Fighter, it was someone else's game. I don't know the difference, to be perfectly honest. I'm still stuck on Super Nintendo (SNES). *sigh* Ah, the memories of playing Super Mario World for hours on end…**

**Vesca: You think they stop acting that way once they hit 25? *Bursts out laughing*…. Ahem. I wish I could meet _those guys! (And is it better when you complain about him to people you __do know?) *grin*_**

**C-Chan and Eko: *passes C-Chan a tissue* Goodness, dear, you are emotional. I guess I was going for that, but I never thought it would make a person cry. And to both of you, I'm glad you liked it.**

**Haruko: *huggles Kenshin* I could never do that to him! Well, maybe… but not in this story.**

**Li: Yes, Yahiko is adopted as well. And I'm into the old classics sometimes. I hook onto the eighties station occasionally. Late eighties through the nineties was my time. And I don't know about _classics, although you might call them that. *starts swaying along as the radio plays* I wear my sunglasses at night!_**

**marstanuki: I am the master of patience. Unfortunately, that works the other way around, too. Once I have a grudge, I hold onto it for a very long time. I mean… I have a grudge from second grade. (This was at least twelve years ago.) How's that for petty?**

**Crystal: *blink* I'm confused.**

**Gochan: *snickers at sandwich joke* The fact that it was Thanksgiving recently had absolutely _nothing to do with the timing of my story. Say, 'uh huh. Whatever you say, Fitz.' *smacks forehead* I read your comment about the names, and for awhile, I just thought: Names? What's so odd about the names? Selective memory._**

**omochi: *shoves a thermometer under Kenshin's tongue and throws a pile of heavy blankets over him* Quick! Get some soup! We gonna make you _all better!_**

Fitz: o.O Don't know where that came from.

**tesuka-chan: I'm striving for a somewhat normal guy, but being that I am not male myself, he will come off as slightly feminine. Kenshin doesn't think much of girls because, frankly, _I don't think much of them (never mind that I am one. o.O I've got a complex). I'm not sure what you mean by 'and the touching of guys.' And I never intended to make him seem weak. Just… more subdued. But you're partly right. He is no invincible warrior._**

**Nadir: I emailed you, so I'd just be repeating myself here.**

**Aishiteru: Here's some Aoshi sightings. That better? *smirk* Not too predictable, I hope. And as for the dark past… I've got that whole thing figured out—I've even written things that will probably never make it into this story, just so I have something to base the rest of this on. And I don't know… I could just picture Aoshi wearing reading glasses.**


	9. Fitz explains a few things

**Fitz**** explains a few things**

**Please note that the following material contains 'spoilers' to the actual story. Mild ones, granted, but they are there. You might want to read the chapters before reading this.**

            Okay. I've noticed from some of the reviews that there is a bit of confusion. The odd gaps in the timeline have thrown off several readers.

            First off, I want to apologize. My own train of thought tends to leap around, and sometimes I forget that I have to explain a little when I make an abrupt subject change.

            Next, I will explain things. This will be updated with each chapter, so if ever you are confused, refer back to this section.

**TIMELINE:**

**Freshman year:**

1. Fall semester: Kenshin moves into the dorms and starts getting into the swing of college life. We meet Sano, Katsu, and Jonas.

2. Winter break: Not really addressed, but Kenshin is at home with his uncle during this three-four week period.

3. Spring semester: Jonas is gone. Aoshi enters the story as Kenshin's roommate.

**Sophomore year: **

1. Fall semester: A new year. Kenshin is in a single room. He meets Kaoru, Misao, Omasu, Chou, and Kamatari. (Not mentioned in story, but Katsu's absence is because he is studying abroad.)

2. Winter break: Not yet mentioned.

3. Spring semester: Not yet mentioned.

            _Chapter one: Prologue thingy. Set during the later years of Kenshin's college career. The chapter is merely to identify the main character. (Other characters present: none)_

            _Chapter two: Kenshin meets Kaoru. Set during the first semester of Kenshin's sophomore year. (Other characters present: Kaoru, Misao, Omasu, Saitou, and Sanosuke.)_

            _Chapter three: Kenshin meets Sano. Orientation—before Kenshin's freshman year begins. (Other characters present: Sano and a brief appearance by Tae.)_

            _Chapter four: The roommate from hell. Kenshin's first semester, freshman year. (Other characters present: Sano, Katsu, Megumi, and Jonas.)_

            _Chapter five: A bit of random interaction. First semester, sophomore year. (Other characters present: Kaoru, Misao, Omasu, Sano, Kamatari, Chou, and Aoshi.)_

            _Chapter six:  Kenshin's a jerk to his friends. First semester, sophomore year. (Other characters present: Kaoru, Kamatari, English Teacher, Sano, Hiko.)_

            _Chapter seven: Hospital stuff. Thanksgiving dinner at the Sagara family household. (Other characters present: Kaoru, Sano, Hiko, Chou, Misao, Megumi, Aoshi, Kamatari, Mr. Sagara, Yahiko, a receptionist, and a random nurse in a pear tree.)_

            _Chapter eight: Kenshin gets a new roommate. Set in the second semester of Kenshin's freshman year. (Other characters present: Sano, Katsu, Aoshi, Hiko, Beshimi, Hyottoko, Shikijou, Hannya, two anonymous students, and a police officer.)_

Little Notes: Is this helpful? What else can I do to make things less confusing? (That is, barring story mysteries. Those are to remain secret until the author is ready to reveal it. You all know that. ^_~) Please let me know.


	10. Ice skates and invitations

Disclaimer: Fitz is too lazy to come up with anything creative, so go read some disclaimers from other chapters.

Notes: Right, so I'm finally putting up an actual chapter. Yes, it revolves around the Christmas/New year season. The fact that we just had Christmas had a little to do with it, but it was more to do with the flow of time. I did Halloween, then Thanksgiving, so now it's time for some Christmas.

As for the little explanation chapter, I'm glad that some of you found that useful. I am not updating it today, but this chapter is pretty easy to follow. First semester, Kenshin's sophomore year. The presence of your beloved Kaoru should be a tip off on that.

Warnings: Drugs, alcohol, minor implied violence, Kenshin on ice skates.

Kenshin: Ack! Help! *falls on his butt on the ice* Owwwwwww…

Onward!!

My Life

            "I love winter!"

            Kaoru told me this one cloudy December morning as we walked across the Washington Avenue bridge after class. She, of course, loved the lightly falling snow and insisted upon walking outside. I bit back my aversion and walked with her, all the while envying those people inside the enclosure that ran the length of the bridge. Not only was it not snowing or windy in there, but it was marginally warmer.

            "The snow is so pretty," Kaoru held out her hand, warm in a bright red mitten and smiled as the snowflakes collected in the wool. "And the river looks so cool when it's frozen over."

            "Cold is more like it," I glanced over the rail at the Mississippi River, white and choppy looking below us. I was not at all fooled by that rigid surface. That ice was very thin--not at all safe to walk across. It would take another week of intense cold to accomplish that. Considering the weather forecast, that could happen.

            "Don't you like the snow?" Kaoru teased.

            "Not really," I shrugged. Not at all, actually, but I did not say that. I still did not understand how Sano had convinced me to go skiing with him. He even pushed me down a couple hills before I retreated to the safety of the lodge.

            "I love to go ice-skating when I can," Kaoru said, not at all put out by my surly attitude toward winter. "You want to go with me sometime, Kenshin? It would be fun!"

            "I don't know how to skate," I admitted, hoping it would get me out of such an activity. No such luck.

            "Oh, it's easy!" she looked at me with a grin, then giggled at my skeptical expression. "Saturday afternoon? There's a rink somewhere on campus that has open hours."

            And that was how I ended up spending my afternoon that weekend. Most of the time I was on my butt on the ice or clinging desperately to something to keep from that fate. Kaoru laughed merrily when she dragged me out into the middle of the skating rink. Horribly off-balance, I hung on her arm like it was my last thread of sanity. If I fell anymore, it could have been.

            "Looking good, Kenshin!"

            Sano came along as well. He whipped across the smooth, white surface like a professional, his feet moving naturally beneath him. Just watching him made me dizzy, and I wobbled and pitched back. Kaoru did not resist the move, bending with me as I crashed down. Somehow, she stayed on her feet while I sat, rubbing my side tenderly. She laughed so hard she snorted, and I squinted at her in discontent.

            "Ow," I informed her.

            Kaoru, still giggling, grabbed my hands and helped me up.

^_^

            Sore and cold, I walked next to Kaoru and Sano away from the rink. It was just after four and growing near to dusk. Kaoru's dormitory was on the east bank, and we were going to drop her off before Sano and I headed back to the west bank.(1) Before that, though, we were going to stop at Bruegger's Bagels for some early dinner. Two weeks after having started on medication, my appetite was back to normal, and I was just as anxious to eat something as Kaoru and Sano.

            "Misao told me you were going to Pennsylvania with your girlfriend, Sanosuke," Kaoru said, making small talk as we walked along Washington. "Things must be pretty serious between you two if you're going to meet the parents."

            "I hope so," Sano grinned. "I've never met anyone like her."

            Megumi was the most intimidating woman I had ever met. I could not understand what Sano saw in her. Sure, she was nice enough, but I felt I was constantly walking on eggshells when she was around. I never knew when she was going to say something sharp.

            "And what about Kenshin?" Kaoru asked with a grin, reaching up to brush some of the accumulating snow out of my hair. It had been snowing all week, and the collection on the ground was almost to my hip. "What are you doing this year?"

            "Probably the same thing I did last year," I shook my head, not looking forward to that at all. I even had that same job lined up--the manager had nearly jumped me when I went in there asking if she needed help again that holiday.

            "Sounds real exciting, Kenshin," Sano rolled his eyes and leaned down as if to share a secret with Kaoru. He spoke loud enough for the people across the street to hear. "He spent all of last Christmas break hiding from his uncle and working shitty hours at the Gap."

            "I was not hiding," I said hotly, grateful that my face was already pink with the cold, or they would have noticed my blush. I pushed the button for the cross signal and glared at the ground.

            "What about you, Kaoru?" Sano wondered. "Misao mentioned that your family lives around here."

            Kaoru's family lived in a house in Sunfish Lake. Very well-to-do. It was practically a gated community. Inherited wealth allowed them to put their daughter through school while her mother's job paid for the house and her father's dojo barely made enough money to cover the expenses required to keep the business running. While martial arts were well-known, it was not frequently practiced here in the Midwest.

            "You know, Kenshin," Kaoru looked at me as the traffic light turned. My eyes were drawn to the car approaching the red light. It was not slowing down. Kaoru did not seem to notice, and she moved forward, still talking. "You're always welcome at my house. I could show you our dojo, too."

            The car stopped. That is, its wheels stopped. The car kept moving... right through the intersection.

            "_No!_"

            Kaoru looked at me in shock. The shock turned to disbelief when I grabbed the collar of her winter jacket and yanked her back hard. She shrieked and stumbled into me, nearly knocking me off balance in the process. I held tight, scooting back away from the road as that car fishtailed and passed us. The tires caught, and the car finally stopped, a few yards away from the light. Kaoru, Sano, and I stared after it, wide-eyed and frightened, and the driver slowly started the car moving again, no doubt as shaken as we were.

            Kaoru let out a trembling sigh.

            "That was close," she said with a nervous giggle.

            "Another reason to hate winter," I muttered. "Let's go."

            Sano and Kaoru looked at me, incredulity on their faces.

            "Kaoru almost got hit by a car!" Sano blurted.

            "But she didn't," I told them, perfectly reasonable. "And we can't stand here forever."

            Those two looked at me like I was out of my mind. Eventually, though, they saw the sense behind my suggestion, and we made sure all vehicles were at a complete stop before we crossed the street.

^_^

            An hour later, Sano and I bid Kaoru good night. We parted in the lobby, Kaoru heading to her room, Sano and I back to the freezing abyss, er... outside. 

            "Oh! Kenshin?"

            Sano muttered something about waiting under the heater, and I glanced back to see Kaoru smiling hesitantly at me. I wondered what that smile was for.

            "You never did say..." she murmured. "If you wanted to come visit me over Christmas."

            My eyebrows shot up. I had forgotten about that completely. Probably for good reason. My heart rate leapt into double time, and suddenly I was stuttering.

            "Um... I have a job... a temp. thing--" I stammered.

            "Surely you don't work _all_ the time," Kaoru's eyebrows crunched together, her lip poking out into a pout. Oh, shoot. Why do girls do that?

            "No-- I mean... what I meant to say is..." _I don't want to..._ Not exactly something I could tell her. I choked off the horribly incoherent sentence and took a deep breath. With a tight smile, I said, "I can't."

            "Oh," Kaoru blinked at me in surprise. "Uh... okay. That's too bad." She was blushing, and I felt bad for embarrassing her. It had not been my intention. "I guess I'll see you in class Monday."

            "Yeah," I replied lamely. "I'll see you then."

            "Good night, Kenshin."

            I nodded and turned. It felt like something was burning into my back as I left, but it was just Kaoru's stare.

            Sano was waiting in the entrance, beneath the hot blast of air they always have going during the winter. He held open the door, and we stepped out into the cold. We jogged all the way back to our dorm, over a mile away.

^_^

            Finals were a pain, as always. I fumbled through my World Government exam, turned in my final English essay, and breezed through the other tests. Then, it was time to go home for winter break. No, not _Christmas_ break. That was not politically correct, after all. How many people were politically correct anyway? I was not a practicing Christian, and I didn't care about what the break was called. It was a time when we did not have to go to class. That was all most students cared about.

            It was like the year before. I went to Uncle Hiko's house, dropped my laundry in the closet, changed into my work clothes, and shot right back out again. Anything was better than staying at home with that man--even enduring the torment of offering my opinion to a sixty-year-old woman wearing a size four skirt when she belonged in a size twelve and looked like she had not shaved in a month. Those were the times when a person had to just smile and nod and bite back the urge to hand the woman a muumuu. I was astounded at how many women would not admit their true size.

            "You going to put up a tree this year?" Uncle Hiko asked me one night over some tuna casserole. We had a lot of casserole at his house. It was about all he could manage. All he had to do was throw some various ingredients in a bowl, mix it up, and put it in the oven for twenty minutes. Never mind that I hated tuna.

            "Am _I_ going to put up a tree this year?" I looked at him skeptically. "Do you care?"

            "You used to like it," he grunted.

            "Tomoe liked it," I reminded him. I looked down at the laminate of the tabletop. It was dinged up and old looking. He'd had it for as long as I could remember. "I... just liked to help her..."

            "Let me know before Christmas Eve," he said sourly. I didn't want to look at him, scowling at me in disapproval like he always did, so I kept my eyes on the table. If the food had been overly appetizing, I would have looked at that instead. The table was the lesser of two evils. "I don't want to drive around before the holiday searching for a tree."

            "Sure, Uncle Hiko," I mumbled, poking at the noodles in my dish. It was squishy and gross. I was supposed to put it in my mouth. Right.

            I stood and picked up my dish to take it to the sink.

            "I'll clean up tonight," I announced. Uncle Hiko did not object. I knew he wouldn't. He hated cleaning up. If it had not meant he would have lived in squalor, I think he would have just left everything where it was when he finished.

            "Someone called while you were at work," he said abruptly.

            "Who?" I used to berate him for waiting so long to give me such messages. After about ten years of this bringing no results, I stopped trying. I figured I was lucky if he wrote down a phone number let alone a name.

            "It's on the fridge," he waved to the kitchen, then picked up his ginger ale and walked out of the room.

            Oddly, Uncle Hiko used to be a heavy drinker. He never got raging drunk. In fact, he always seemed perfectly coherent no matter what the amount of alcohol he ingested. My junior year in high school he stopped storing it in the house, then quit drinking altogether. I thought it had more to do with the fear I would find it than any concern for the condition of his own liver.

            I blinked at the Post-it note, then smirked. It read: _Cowrue 454-2836_. Oh, the joys of phonetic spelling. I picked up the phone.

            It rang twice before a friendly man answered.

            "Kamiya dojo! How may I help you?" Well... what was I supposed to say?

            "Um... I'm calling for Kaoru?" I asked hopefully.

            "May I tell her who's calling?" the guy was horrifically cheerful.

            "Uh, yeah," I stammered. "Kenshin... She called me..." I smacked my hand to my forehead, cursing myself for being the moron. Like I had to explain myself to some strange guy on the phone!

            "Hold on, just a moment please," the man said brightly. I frowned when the line clicked. Much to my surprise, music filtered through. It was holiday music. Mannheim Steamroller's _Joy to the World_ to be exact. The guy had put me on hold--like I was calling an office or something.

            Kaoru answered just as Bing Crosby started singing the refrain for _White Christmas_.

            "Hi, Kenshin!" she greeted. "How are you? How was work?"

            "I'm fine," I had to smile. It was nice to talk to someone other than a surly customer, or uncle for that matter. "Work was... work."

            She laughed.

            "Are you working this weekend?" she wondered.

            "A few morning hours."

            "Misao's going Christmas shopping with me on Saturday," Kaoru explained her reason for calling. "Would you like to go out for dinner and a movie with us when you get off? We could go see the new Harry Potter film."

            "Harry Potter?" Oh dear lord. Save me.

            "Or something else," she said with a giggle. Apparently my distaste was clear in my words. "_Lord of the Rings_?"

            "That's workable," I agreed, immensely relieved.

            "I thought _Maid in Manhattan_ looked cute," she teased.

            "You're just making fun of me now," I shot back. "I can handle chick flicks. Just bring me a pillow, and I'll be fine."

            "You're terrible!" Kaoru groaned. "All right. When do you get off?"

            "Hmmm..." I stalled as I looked at the calendar. "Two."

            "Perfect!" she replied. "We'll go to lunch first and the four o'clock showing. I don't like the movie theater in the mall, so we'll go to the one near my place. But we can eat by the mall. Isn't there a TGI Friday's across the street?"

            Just the mention of that place made me feel sick. My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, and I had to fumble through the cupboards for a glass. I turned on the tap and shut the cupboard as the water hissed into the sink.

            "Yoohoo, Kenshin!" Kaoru giggled nervously. "You there?"

            "Just a sec." My mouth was much too dry to speak properly. I swallowed three-quarters of the water in the glass and breathed a shaky sigh. "I don't eat there."

            "TGI--"

            "No," I said quickly. I didn't want to even hear it. "Somewhere else. Anyplace." Wouldn't it have been a kick in the butt if she had suggested Burger King?

            "Okaaaaay," Kaoru sounded like she wanted to question it. I prayed that she wouldn't. She didn't. "How about Tucci Bennuch? It's right in the mall. You like Italian?"

            "That's great," I murmured. "I'll meet you there just after two."

            "You sound like you're going to say you have to go now," she said.

            "Yeah," I downed the rest of my water. "I'll see you Saturday."

            "Good night, Kenshin."

            "'Night," I grumbled, then hung up. I hated when it started hurting like it did right then. It just sat in my chest, this painful pressure that made my nose itch and my eyes burn. My throat closed up so that I could barely breathe.

            The sound of a glass shattering against the tiles reached my ears before I saw it hit the wall. It was not until I heard Uncle Hiko cursing in the next room that I realized I was the one who had thrown the glass. I was shaking and angry, and there was nothing I could do about it.

            "Fuck it," I whispered.

            "Get out of the kitchen, idiot," Uncle Hiko scolded, but his words lacked his usual conviction. "I'll clean it up."

            "I don't want a tree," I said at the floor. He could hear me just fine.

            "We won't get a tree," he agreed. "Go work it off in the basement for awhile."

            I glanced at Uncle Hiko, then nodded and cut across the room to the basement steps. He had a punching bag down there and some padded mats like at the gym. I stored my karate uniform down there for occasions like this. I put it on and tied the belt around my waist. I was almost to the brown belt in karate--better in judo. If I practiced more, I could have done well in competitions. As it was, I had not taken lessons in over a year, and I was rusty.

            Two hours of intense exercise left me exhausted. I fell on the couch by the wall. Pulling an afghan over me, I fell asleep and spent the night there. While it was not the most restful of nights, I was grateful for the distinct lack of dreams. Sometimes during these episodes I had nightmares--bad ones that sent me running to puke my guts out in the bathroom--but this time I didn't.

            I was irritable all day at work that Friday. Then, I called up Kaoru again.

^_^

            "Hello?" Kaoru picked up that time. Probably because I wasn't calling during business hours.

            "Does your offer still stand?" I asked, forgetting to tell her who was calling.

            "Kenshin?" Kaoru asked blankly, then added. "You want to come over for Christmas?"

            "Only if it's okay with you and your family," I said quickly. I did not want to pressure her. After all, I had shoved the invitation back into her face before. "If you want to come here, that's fine too. But, well... Uncle Hiko and I don't do a lot. We don't really get along... Or..." I was babbling. I finished, a bit sheepish and barely speaking loud enough for her to hear me. "Or if you're too busy... I can do something else."

            "No!" Kaoru's sudden exclamation made me blink. "No, Kenshin, I'd love for you to come."

            I intended to buy her something really nice. Well, as nice as one could get for under twenty dollars. Admittedly, I was using Kaoru as something of a distraction. If Sano had been home, rather than off in Pennsylvania somewhere, I probably would have called him first.

            "Kenshin! You home?!" Uncle Hiko's voice bellowed through the house. I sighed.

            "Can you hold on a sec, Kaoru?" I asked, then covered the mouthpiece of the phone as she answered with, "Sure, Ken--" And I missed the rest because I was shouting into the house in response to my uncle.

            "What is it?!"

            "Stop shouting. I'm right here," he grumbled, appearing in the kitchen doorway. "Just got word from your aunt."

            "Aunt Tokio?" I blinked dumbly. My father's sister, Aunt Tokio. I rarely saw her, but when I did, it was always an interesting experience. My high school graduation gift from her had been a trip to London. No one trusted me alone, of course, so she accompanied me. Then, she took me on a tour of 'the darker side' of London. That is, all the dark haunts, the places where Jack the Ripper took his victims--places like that. That place was just full of cheerful memories. It _was_ kind of cool.

            "She's going to visit her fiancé's family this holiday," Uncle Hiko explained. "Your cousin is coming to visit."

            My stomach sank. I stared at Uncle Hiko, who just looked back at me with this horrible, grim expression on his face. I lifted my hand from the mouthpiece.

            "Kaoru, I've got to call you back," I said mechanically.

            "Sure, Kenshin... is everything okay?"

            "I'll let you know when I call back," I smiled faintly, then muttered a quick, "Bye," and hung up the phone. I turned back to my uncle.

            "I agreed to allow him over here, but I want you to stay away from him," Uncle Hiko said sternly. "He is a bad influence."

            Like I did not know that. I had not seen the guy for three years. Before that, I saw him fairly frequently. He _was_ a bad influence, as Uncle Hiko had said. It was my cousin who had first handed me a cigarette. Then, it was marijuana and alcohol. After that, I didn't recall. Awareness of my surroundings was not a top priority. Ironically, it was that same cousin who took me to the party that ended my addictions.

            "How am I supposed to do that?" I demanded. "I can only work so many hours, and this house is not a big one."

            "I'll think of something," he shrugged. "Who was that you were talking to?"

            "Kaoru," I admitted grudgingly. What business of his was that? It irritated me that he asked. I knew he wanted me to elaborate, but I was going to make him ask again to hear it. It was always better not to volunteer information. That attitude made people think I was secretive, but it was really just safer that way.

            "Aren't you going out with her tomorrow?"

            "That was the plan."

            "Then... just last minute preparations?" He was trying to find out what the conversation had been about without actually saying so. It wasn't a bad attempt, but it would not work for him.

            "Not really."

            He sighed. I was making him frustrated. Good.

            "What did she have to say, then?"

            Triumph. It was not often that I got him annoyed so quickly.

            "She invited me to spend Christmas with her family," I said finally.

            "And? Are you going?" Uncle Hiko growled.

            "Do you have any better suggestions?" I smiled at him. I think it just made the guy more agitated than he already was.

            "That's fine," he snapped. "Go to your friends. I'll watch Tokio's brat."

            'Tokio's brat' was like Sano and Yahiko--adopted. Aunt Tokio had adopted him when he was thirteen. That was the problem, right there. His habits and social contacts were already established. Good luck changing a kid who spent ten years in various foster homes--getting verbally and physically abused--and had drowned it all in money and drugs. Aunt Tokio had tried to help him, but all she did was help him learn how to better hide his habits. The ass. The guy was sneaky, cold, and violent. I was terrified of him.

            "I've got to call Kaoru back, Uncle Hiko," I said when he failed to leave.

            "Hn," he grunted and left the room. Thank god. I picked up the phone.

            "Kenshin?" Kaoru answered off the first ring. She was anticipating the call. Wow. Didn't that just make a guy feel special?

            "Kaoru, I've got a little problem."

^_^

            "So you can't stand your cousin," Kaoru commented as we climbed into her car. The afternoon had been fun. We ate Italian and went to _Lord of the Rings_. Misao took off, saying she had to be home by eight for some reason or other. We parted in the parking lot of the theater, wishing each other a happy holiday and going to our separate vehicles.

            I was grateful Kaoru had waited until Misao was gone to bring up that topic. Misao would have jumped on the subject and badgered me until I gave up all the details. It was tough to talk about without having some enthusiastic girl drilling me for information.

            "He's an ass," I said frankly.

            "What'd he do?" Kaoru asked, then added, "And what's his name? Did you already tell me?"

            "No, I didn't tell you," I smiled. "And it's Enishi."

            "What'd he do that you don't like him?" she asked again.

            "Uh..." Okay, this was the moment I had been nervous about. What was I supposed to tell her? "He's a bit of the troubled child."

            "Temper problems?"

            "Kind of..." I sighed. "He's a drug dealer."

            "He's a _what?!_" her hand froze over the radio dial.

            "Well, he called it something else," I grumbled. "I didn't really care what the title was when he told me."

            "He--he... he just _told_ you?" Kaoru looked at me as if I had just spouted some incredible lie, like I was pregnant or something. Come to think of it... I wondered what she would do if I said that-- "Didn't he think you'd turn him in?"

            My bemused thoughts scattered at that question, and I laughed. Kaoru looked at me funny. I probably sounded as uneasy as I felt.

            "No, he knew I wouldn't turn him in," I looked at my hands, folded in my lap. "Because, ah... because I would have had to turn myself in as well."

            Her jaw dropped. Honest to god, her mouth just fell open. I never thought a person would actually do that without prior thought to the action. Her face went slack, a little fear filtering into her gaze.

            Whoa! I knew where that was leading. She thought--

            "Nononono!" I said quickly. "I didn't sell anything like he did. I just bought from him." Well. _That_ sounded really bad. Kaoru's eyes were huge. I looked away from her again. "After my sister died, I was a little depressed," I explained quietly. "He said he could help me with that, and I believed him."

            "_You_ do drugs?!" Kaoru gasped.

            "Not anymore," I frowned. "I haven't touched... well, there was that one cigarette last fall, but _other_ than that, I haven't touched anything since I was seventeen."

            "Why'd you stop?" she asked, sounding as anxious as I felt.

            "Police raid, and I got caught," I shrugged as if I didn't care. Well, I did. That night had been hell. "I spent a month in a rehab center."

            "What was that like?" she breathed. Oh, of all the questions--!

            I frowned at her, not at all pleased with that question. What did she _think_ it was like? It certainly was not all sunshine and roses.

            "Counseling sessions--group and solo--and a lot of time spent throwing up," I told her finally. "Not exactly the spa."

            "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I shouldn't have asked."

            I didn't say anything. After all, I agreed with her.

            "So, um... this Enishi still doing all that?" she asked nervously.

            "I haven't seen him since that raid," I shook my head. "I don't know."

            "Didn't he get caught?" Kaoru seemed puzzled by this.

            "No." Of course not. In fact, had it been like any normal night, neither would I have been caught. The circumstances of _that_ particular party had been such that I was... unable to react to the situation. Upset and frightened, I had just waited for the police to come get me. I still remembered the way that room smelled--like stale smoke, sex, blood, and vomit. The blood was from the guy I'd hit with a lamp. The rest... I had no idea.

            "Kenshin?" Kaoru touched my arm, and I jumped, jerking away even as I turned to look at her. She looked worried. "What happened?"

            "It's nothing," I smiled, just relieved to have it out and be done with it. "I just... don't like talking about that. It was not a good time in my life. I'd rather forget it ever happened."

            "You just got really pale," she murmured.

            Ah. Thoughts of that last night still made me sick.

            "So now you're worried that Enishi will try to force this on you again?" she predicted.

            "No forcing about it," I said, a little shaky at the prospect. "All he'd have to do is offer it. I don't know if I could refuse."

            "Then it's a good thing you're coming to stay with me for the next week," Kaoru smiled then, and it was over. I would not have to talk about this with her ever again. Hopefully. "Let's go home."

            "Sounds great," I smiled, then laughed shakily. My whole body trembled and felt weak. "Think we could stop at a gas station or something? I need some sugar."

            "You're not hypoglycemic, are you?" she blinked at me.

            "Just a craving," I lied. I didn't really want to explain how much that conversation had taken out of me. And there was a bit of a craving. Those chocolate covered cupcakes... yeah, with the white, sugary filling. That was what I wanted. "There's an SA right up the hill."

            "I could go for some chips myself," she grinned at me, then blinked. "Oh, and Kenshin?"

            "Hm?" I looked at her. I wondered how a girl like her could be so understanding about what I had done. Unlike many, she actually listened and heard the explanation before making any final judgments.

            "I ought to warn you," she smiled slyly. "My family gets a little wacky around the holidays."

            "...Wacky?"

^_^

Notes: There is a lot more involved with the whole 'dark past' than I have stated. I'm not ready to put it here yet. It'll happen eventually. For now, look forward to a more cheerful chapter. Christmas in the Kamiya household. Later!

And, in light of the season, Fitz wishes a Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate. To those who don't, I hope you had a good day anyway. *Huggles Billy Joel CD happily* Stop looking at me like that. I _like Billy Joel. *hums* In the middle of the ni-i-ight!_

**Random Omake (Fitz wants to apologize in advance for this one. I just saw what I had written, and I started cracking up. Bad Fitz! Sicko!) Uh… anyway, the Omake.**

Kaoru: All right. When do you get off?

Kenshin: When I stare at the _Playboy_'s Playmate of the Year.

Fitz: o.O

Sano: *silently cheering in the background*

Reviewers:

**Istoria: Thanks for the suggestion. I am beginning to see the need for some explanation now.**

**C-Chan & Eko: You put in a name, I am ready to believe it belongs to someone. Glad I could be of some comic relief to you… both of you.**

**Vesca: Kaoru will meet Aoshi after she meets Kenshin. And the Katsu mentioning is 'cause I kind of like the guy. Sometimes. Sorta.**

**Crystal: Okay. I won't. ^_^ Thanks!**

**Chiki: That comment to Hiko will be explained later. And I want to thank you for your review. The way you pull out specific things that you like or don't like is really helpful. I really don't mind having bad things pointed out. It helps me to improve.**

**Hana Himura: Ah… yes. Here's Kaoru.**

**Gypsy-chan: The Simpsons is classic television. The Oniwabanshuu, aka Aoshi's geeky friends, were happy to be in a story. I hope to give them some cameo appearances later on.**

**tesuka-chan: Major event… maybe.**

Aoshi: *thinking* ………………………….

Fitz: You ever think maybe there's a _reason he doesn't speak much?_

Aoshi: *scowl*

**tenshineko: Tap. Can't you picture Aoshi in tap dance? No?... I wouldn't think too much on it. It just popped into my head at the time, and I liked it, so I stuck it in. Late fiancé… yeah, that's something that may or may not get explained. He's kind of tightlipped you know.**

**Li: No. She's a figment of my imagination. And do you only zone out for finals? Huh. I zone out at random intervals daily. And you should hear me try to speak.**

Kenshin: Fitz-dono is not as articulate in speech as she is on paper.

Fitz: Thank you for that explanation, Kenshin.

Kenshin: You're welcome, Fitz-dono.

**nekonomiko: Wow. I guess I can relate. I'm not a huge fan of A&M specific stories myself, but I do like it put in with the mix.**

**Gochan: My personal favorite is Wile E. Coyote. I'm always hoping he'll catch that bird. Ah, the omake. Proof of Fitz's demented train of thought.**

**haruko: I'm still deciding on that. I've got a place I kind of want to go, things I want to insert, but at the same time, I like these goofy little episodes.**

**marstanuki: Good. I was worried I went a bit overboard with the length.**

**Aishiteru: Right… I jump around in the time a lot. I hope I'm able to keep this a little less confusing in the future.**

**Kaelyn: I'm glad you like the story so far. To be honest, I'm drawing on my own life experiences as well as inserting things from my imagination. Thanks for reviewing.**


	11. Christmas at Kaoru's

**Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin and all its elements are property of… uh… someone else.**

Sano: Smooth recovery.

**Disclaimer: Shut up. Fitz can't even pay for her schooling. Don't sue her. You won't get anything.**

Sano: *Sad sigh* Damned right. She wouldn't even lend me money for lunch.

**Notes: *sheepish* I just noticed something a little off in my last chapter. It involves a little number—(1)—in the story. Well, that number refers to absolutely nothing in the chapter, apparently. As I am not quite 'up' with all this computer stuff, I am putting it at the end of this chapter. It is merely a brief (kind of) explanation about the U of MN. Sorry 'bout that. **

Kenshin: Fitz-dono, I have a question.

Fitz: Yes?

Kenshin: Last time, Shishou mentioned something odd… about Tokio.

Fitz: Aunt Tokio.

Kenshin: Eh heh… yeah. Something about a fiancé?

Fitz: *sly grin*

Kenshin: That, uh… that wouldn't be who I think it is… would it?

Fitz: *horrible imitation of Megumi's fox laugh*

Kenshin: I can't believe you're making me _related to SAITOU!_

Fitz: *Evil laughter*

**Warnings: Very, _very slight shonen ai. Alcohol, antagonistic cousins, and a dog._**

Sano: Kenshin being a chickenshit.

Kenshin: Hey!

My Life

            Kaoru's house was huge. It had two levels and a basement, which was not unusual in itself, but it had five bedrooms. _Five!_ Uncle Hiko's house only had two. There were five bathrooms--not all of them with tubs and showers--an immense kitchen, a den, a rec room, a family room, a formal dining room, a dinette, a study with a fireplace in it, and a hot tub built into the deck in the back yard. That back yard was fenced in, by the way. They had a four-car garage with work space in the back. All four of those stalls were occupied, and there was another car parked in the driveway.

            The really intimidating thing about Kaoru's neighborhood, though, was that her house was not the largest. Not by a long shot. Talk about living in style. They lived in a mansion.

            Surprisingly, there were not a lot of people in the house when I got there. With a place that big, I had expected at least--oh, I don't know--five or six people. Other than Kaoru, there were two. Mr. Kamiya and Mrs. Kamiya. Excuse me, _Ms_. Kamiya.

            "The relatives will start arriving Tuesday," Kaoru explained. "Let's see... we have one, two, three..." she trailed off, counting on her fingers and staring into space. That space contained a very nice-looking chandelier. "Ten people coming! Plus you, me, and my parents."

            "Fourteen people?" I asked doubtfully. "Can you fit that many people around a table?"

            "Is it a guy thing to think immediately about the food and dining situations?" Kaoru grinned at me. I felt my face warm. She must have thought I was a pig. "We always split off into two tables--the kids and the adults are separated for the most part. Don't worry about it. Let's get your stuff to the guest room."

            "Does everyone stay here over Christmas?" I asked cautiously, following her up a large, curving staircase. There were pictures on the walls, mostly family photos. I glanced at them briefly, more focused on not getting lost in that house.

            "Some do," she giggled. "We usually fill the rooms and have people sleep on air mattresses if there aren't enough beds. You're here first, so you get a bed."

            "I don't want to put anyone out." I got the feeling I was intruding. They had to accommodate for so many people without me getting mixed up in things.

            "Trust me, you won't," she giggled. "How's this?"

            She showed me into a room that was bigger than the one I had at Uncle Hiko's house. There were two twin beds, a closet, two bed stands, a dresser, and an armoire. I set my bag on the floor near the wall, a bit overwhelmed by the sheer size of this place.

            "The bathroom's across the hall," Kaoru was explaining. I looked at her, and judging by the amusement that shone in her eyes, my own expression showed how dazed I felt. I blinked, hoping to wipe that look of my face, and listened to her descriptions. "My bedroom is right next to yours, and Mom and Dad are at the end of the hall. The kitchen is down the stairs and to the left..."

            She went on and on and on. I made her give me a tour of the house--twice.

^_^

            Typically, I took a bus to work. Kaoru would hear nothing of it. Thus, I only had to allow myself ten to fifteen minutes to get to work rather than the usual forty-five. I felt too guilty accepting all the rides out of charity, so in return, I made Kaoru accept money for gas. I doubt she needed it, but at least it made me feel better.

            I had no idea what to get that girl for Christmas. Sunday, during my break, I wandered the mall, hoping to get some sort of idea. By Monday, I was getting worried. Christmas Eve was on Tuesday, and I had no clue what to do. I even took to asking some of my co-workers.

            "How old is she?" Sandy was one of the few women who spoke to me. Most of the employees stayed away from me. Probably because I was the only male worker on the floor. The other men worked in shipping and stocking or maintenance and janitorial services. Not me. I spent _my_ days picking up after women. Lord, but women are messy.

            "She's my age," I grumbled, drinking from the bottle of pop I'd gotten from the vending machine earlier. The store was unusually barren, and there was not much for us to do. It was pretty early yet. Most people waited until dawn to start their shopping. "Nineteen."

            "Clothes?" Sandy offered.

            "I wouldn't know where to start," I grumbled.

            "Lingerie?"

            "She's not my girlfriend, Sandy!" I glared at the woman. My face was very hot, and I'm sure I was blushing a bright red. Sandy was laughing like crazy. "I'm not getting her that stuff!"

            "Okay, no clothing," she agreed. "Does she like books?"

            "I'm sure she does," I shrugged. "I don't know."

            "Games?" she tried again. "Computer stuff? Trashy trinkets?"

            I looked at her helplessly. I had no idea.

            "Candles or body lotions?" Sandy smiled. "That's the gift I usually give if I don't know what to get someone."

            Someone came into the store then, and we broke apart. Sandy went to greet the woman, and I pretended to be doing something worthwhile.

            I was skeptical about that lotion thing, but I decided to give it a shot. Who knew it would turn out to be such a task?! First off, there were no less than _three_ Bath & Body Works shops in the mall. Not only that, but there was a place called the Body Shop. And then the Victoria's Secrets fragrance store, the Aveda store, Origins, not to mention the four anchor department stores. I thought candles might be easier, but there were about five candle shops there too!

            Monday night, I returned to Kaoru's house, defeated and in a panic. Kaoru informed me that I looked exhausted before chasing me off to bed at nine-thirty. I collapsed on the guest bed, wondering what I was going to do. My arm wrapped around my stuffed gorilla--which Kaoru had requested I bring because she wanted to show it to one of her cousins--and I rolled onto my side, hugging the thing to me. I groaned softly, the sound muffled by the furry toy.

            "What am I going to do?" I demanded, but of course, the stuffed animal couldn't answer. It would have been easier if it could.

            I fell asleep like that, curled around that stupid gorilla, sullenly thinking I might not be able to find anything in time.

^_^

            Tuesday morning, before work, I sat with Kaoru at the breakfast table. She had dark circles under her eyes, and she yawned frequently. Having already been snapped at twice for pointing out that I could take the bus and spare her the early mornings, I kept my mouth shut. She huddled over a cup of strong coffee, and I stirred the soggy Cheerios in my bowl. My mind was filled with the worries of the day--like that gift I was going to get, what I was going to eat for lunch, and if Kaoru would get into a car accident because she was so tired.

            Through this, I found myself staring blindly at the ratty pink thing on the table in front of me. I blinked at it, forcing my mind to register the object, and discovered myself to be looking at a hair binder. It was one of those scrunchy things, and it looked as if it had seen better days. When I stopped to think about it, most of Kaoru's hair accessories looked pretty worn down. The stuff I used was better--in quality anyway. I rarely wore anything so... frilly.

            "Kenshin? You awake?"

            "Huh?" I blinked and quickly looked away from the hair piece, hoping she did not know what I had been thinking. The last thing I needed was to insult my hostess.

            "We've got to leave in twenty minutes," she said wearily. "Your hair is still wet. You should dry it."

            "Dry it? Why?" Honestly, who cared? It was just going back in a ponytail anyway.

            "It's cold out," she nudged at my chair with her foot, making the legs scrape across the floor. "It'll freeze."

            "My hair?" It had done that before. I guess I never thought about preventing it.

            "So go dry your hair," she ordered. "You can used the dryer in my bathroom."

            It was easier just to let her have her way. I dropped my dish into the dishwasher and ran up the stairs to Kaoru's bathroom to dry my hair.

^_^

            The problem with drying my hair in the winter is that it does not get along with the cold, dry weather. Not only that, but I spent the morning walking around on carpeted floors, handling soft, fuzzy shirts. I started to dread all those metal doorknobs in the store. Even expecting the static shock, I jumped every time.

            "You know, dear," an old woman who said her name was Agnes said as she handed me some sweaters. "There are products that help with that."

            She was referring to my hair. Some of it was floating around my face with a life of its own. Stupid static. I offered her a pained smile.

            "Thanks. I'll look into that," I held up a sweater. "You wanted this one?"

            And so the day went. On my break, I went straight to the bathroom sink. The guys walking through gave me strange looks as I wet down my hair.

            I had given myself two extra hours. Kaoru thought my shift was over at two when in actuality, I was done at noon. I wished my coworkers--a few of them--a merry Christmas and took off out of the store.

            I decided I hated the Mall of America. There were too many useless stores. Everything but Water, Bead It, the _Garlic_ store for god's sake! I wandered the first floor, hitting Barnes & Noble, Bath & Body Works--again--and Hot Topic. I liked that store. There were so many weird-looking people in it that no one looked at me twice. But there was nothing in it that I thought Kaoru would like.

            Around the corner, I passed Cinnabon, my stomach growling in protest when I did not stop to buy anything. If I found anything suitable before my two hours were up, I promised myself a reward of food. I almost passed up Claire's. Then, the wall of scrunchies caught my eye, and I stopped.

            The store was not too crowded. The majority of the customers were young girls. I ignored them and wandered the store, looking at the different hair accessories. The trouble was: where to begin? There were fuzzy elastics, alligator clips, barrettes, headbands, sticks, hair elastics that looked like someone had pulled a dead animal off the road and put it on them, bandannas... what to do, what to do!

            "Can I help you find anything?" a girl asked me. I looked at her. She was tall--taller than me, anyway--blonde, and pretty. I guessed her to be about eighteen. Most importantly, she had a nametag proving her employment.

            "I need to get a gift," I informed her. "What would a girl--how old are you?"

            "Uh... eighteen," she offered with a wary smile.

            "Good," I pointed at the array of hair stuff. "What would a girl about your age wear?"

            She blinked, then smiled brightly and started picking up things. I shook my head at the road kill, and she pointed out more items.

            "What kind of hair?" she asked.

            "A little shorter than mine," I tried to imagine Kaoru's hair. "Um... smoother?"

            By the time she was finished, I had hit my budget. I stopped her at twenty dollars, thanked her profusely, and ran to make my purchase.

^_^

            The bag containing Kaoru's gift fit nicely into my jacket pocket, and she never knew about it when she picked me up and drove us back to her house.

            "Some of my relatives are already there," she said as we pulled into the driveway. "Just to warn you."

            "You make it sound like I should be worried," I frowned. I had the feeling that by the end of the day I was going to want to hide under a rock and declare I was never coming out again.

            "No no!" she smiled broadly. "You're just a bit more passive than they are, you know?"

            What? Were they planning on attacking me the instant I stepped through the door? I frowned at Kaoru as she pushed me up the step to the door.

            "No need to shove," I complained as I opened the door. "We'll get there."

            "_KAORU'S BACK!_"

            I stumbled in shock at the volume of that cry. Someone swept past me and latched onto Kaoru, cheering away.

            "She brought a friend with her!" someone else announced. I was not pleased at the amount of movement around me. The two of us were surrounded by at least six or seven people, and someone was taking my jacket--which I needed because Kaoru's unwrapped gift was still in the pocket--and I looked into smiling blue eyes.

            "Soujiro! Don't hog him!"

            _Hog_ him?! What was I, that night's dessert?!

            Another face, looking almost exactly like the first, pushed into my line of vision. I blinked at them. Twins. They were twins. The only difference was the color of their eyes and hair.

            "Hi! I'm Okita," the brown-eyed man introduced himself. "This is Soujiro, my brother."

            "No kidding," I fell back a step when they crowded in too close to me.

            "You must be Kenshin," Soujiro reached forward and grabbed my hand, pumping it up and down enthusiastically. "Nice to meet you."

            "...Likewise," my voice was going up. It had the tendency to lift like that when I was nervous, sounding rather girly and pathetic, and it was a bit of an effort to get it back down to normal. I cleared my throat. "Can I have my hand back?"

            "Huh?" Soujiro looked down at our hands. Okita elbowed him in the side. "Oh!" he laughed and let go of my hand. "Sorry!"

            "Come on, Kenshin," Kaoru hooked her arm around mine and pulled me into the kitchen. "Let me introduce everyone. You've already met Okita and Soujiro. They're the cousins."

            "Hi!" the pair cheered, waving at me. I smiled nervously and nodded at the two weirdos.

            "This is Dr. Gensai, my grandpa," she indicated a kindly-looking old man, then moved down to two little girls--about ages four and six. "Suzume and Ayame, his grandchildren. Their parents are out getting pizza right now."

            "We're having pizza?" I asked. So early? It was barely two-thirty.

            "Yep, and that's Tae," she pointed at a tall young woman. I had met that girl before. Her eyes lit up in recognition.

            "I know you!" she stated in her north-eastern accent. "You're that boy from orientation."

            So _that's_ why I remembered her. I smiled and nodded politely. Kaoru was moving on, so I looked away. She pointed at a cute girl of about thirteen.

            "This is Tsubame, Tae's little sister," she introduced the girl, who blushed and looked down. She was a shy little thing. Kaoru pointed at one last person. "And that's their dad, Mr. Sanjou."

            I hoped I remembered all of that.

            "Who's up for a game?" Okita asked. Okita was probably the most unique-looking guy of the group. His brother was the one with the blue contacts, but he had yellow-orange highlights in his hair. It was kind of interesting, actually. Well, it didn't look bad in any rate. I wouldn't have done that to my hair. Of course, my hair wasn't dark brown.

            "What game?" I asked.

            "It's not a game," Tae leaned in to tell me. "It's a puzzle."

            A puzzle. I stared at her.

            "We always get a puzzle to put together on Christmas Eve," Soujiro grinned, as if the thought of bending over a thousand-piece puzzle was the most exciting thing to him. Well... what did I know?

            "Sounds nice," I said cautiously.

            "It's on the floor in the den," Dr. Gensai announced. "Shall we?"

            There were cheers from the group, and I followed them down the hall. The den had wooden floors and was covered with lush rugs which had been pushed aside for the occasion. There were puzzle pieces scattered over the floor already.

            I quickly discovered that six people around one puzzle did not work very well. And with Ayame and Suzume trying to join us, it quickly grew too crowded--in my opinion anyway. It made me claustrophobic, and I pulled out of the huddle, only to be pounced upon immediately by two hyper little girls.

            "What's your name?" the elder of the pair asked.

            "Kenshin," I smiled at her. What could I say? She was cute.

            "My name is Ayame," she told me solemnly. "And that's Suzume. She's four."

            "Is she?" I looked at the littler child. "Hello, Suzume."

            "Hi, Kenny," she greeted. I winced a bit at the name but kept up the smile. The last person who had called me that I had not seen since my sister's funeral. The girls didn't notice my flinch. "Will you play a game with us?"

            "Sure," I had nothing better to do. "What game?"

            "Let's play with Barbies!" Ayame produced a Barbie doll out of nowhere I could see and waved it around in my face. "Here! You be Barbie. I'll play Ken."

            How was _that_ fair? I looked at the doll in my hand. Its blond hair was a matted mess around its painted face. Ken's hair was a solid block of plastic. Apparently, the makers of Barbie and Ken did not feel the need to give their male doll 'real' hair.

            "Who will Suzume be?" I asked with a smile for them.

            "I'm gonna be Barbie!" Suzume held up a doll that looked almost exactly like the one in my hand--but for the fact that her doll was totally without clothing. She shoved her doll forward until it stood in front of the one I held. Then, she lifted her voice into a squeaky falsetto and struck up a conversation. "Hi, Barbie! How are you?"

            I stared at the two dolls, then blinked as it occurred to me that Suzume was waiting for a response. Sighing softly, I tried to mimic Suzume's version of Barbie's voice. I couldn't get my voice to go that high.

            "I'm fine, Barbie." How ludicrous. "What are you doing?" Besides running around the Kamiya den butt naked? No, I did not dare say that one aloud.

            The conversation continued. Through it, I learned that Suzume liked dogs and salamanders, _The Little Mermaid_, playing on the swing sets, and Brittney Spears. Ayame liked dogs as well, but she was afraid of slimy things--that is, those salamanders--playing in the lake in the summer, the sandbox when the cat had not used it for a litter box, eating Halloween candy, and building snowmen.

            By the time the pizza had arrived, Barbie--Suzume's doll--was threatening to jump off the couch if Barbie--my doll--did not brush her hair. Barbie--my doll--sent Ken running for a brush, just as Suzume and her Barbie leapt off the couch and into my waiting arms. I landed on my back on the floor and suffered having little feet walk on my stomach.

            "Hah!" I cried, triumphant. "Little did you know, Barbie is _Super_ woman! She can fly, see through walls, and catch Barbies jumping off cushioned cliffs!"

            Suzume and Ayame giggled hysterically and climbed all over me. Wow. I had made some friends. I crawled out from under them and held up Barbie.

            "Barbie says, 'let's go eat!'" I suggested.

            "_Yay__!_" they cheered as one and tossed their dolls aside in favor of a cheese pizza. In a pretty good mood, I trailed after them. The rest of the group thundered in shortly after.

^_^ 

            Christmas Eve night, we stayed up rather late. That is, if ten-thirty could be considered late. Maybe for a four-year-old. Mr. Kamiya passed around glasses of eggnog. The only time that stuff was ever good, in my opinion, was when there was so much liquor in it that you were soon too drunk to know the difference. That was usually the way it was served in my family.

            "I know you're under age, but you're not leaving the house," Ms. Kamiya held out a glass to me. I smiled nervously.

            "I can't drink that," I said bluntly. "But thank you."

            "Allergic?" was her first question.

            "No, but I'll stick with water," I held up my water glass, trying not to frown. Kaoru always pressed the issue. So did her mother. It must have run in the family.

            "Okay," Ms. Kamiya smiled blandly. She was a lawyer, according to Kaoru. Judging by that look in her eye, my elusive answers were not fooling her one bit. I didn't really care, as long as she did not make me explain the situation to the entire family--including those two little girls who had just spent the afternoon playing dolls with me. At the moment, Ayame was sitting next to me, braiding the ends of my hair.

            "We still going to mass tomorrow?" Mr. Sanjou asked.

            Mass? This was new.

            "Nine-thirty," Mr. Kamiya nodded.

            I had never gone to church before. Wait. That was not entirely true. I had been to church before my parents died. After I moved in with Uncle Hiko, the next religious service I attended was my sister's funeral. I had not paid much attention to the service, though, so it hardly counted.

            "Kenshin, do you want to come?" Kaoru asked. I blinked, breaking free of my contemplation to look at her.

            "Come?" I echoed dumbly.

            "It's Roman Catholic," she explained. "I don't know what you are, and if you don't want to come, that's okay. But we'd love it if you joined us."

            I think my denomination was Protestant... or something. It had been so long, I didn't even remember. I shrugged and nodded.

            "Sure--_ow__!_"

            Kaoru jumped, and I looked down to the source of my pain. Ayame smiled brightly, opening her fingers and letting my hair fall back to my shoulder. The little imp.

            "Sorry!"

            The rest of the family laughed around us. I smirked at the girl and mussed her hair playfully.

            "Next time, I'll yank on your hair," I informed her.

            "Kenny!" she whined, but she was grinning.

            "It's painful to be beautiful," I tapped her nose. "Ask anybody. That's why most of us walk around as ugly as can be!"

            She giggled and smushed her palm against my forehead, shoving me back a few inches.

            "So do you hurt a lot, Kenny?" she asked. I stared at her, wondering what the hell she was talking about. "Because you're really pretty."

            Uh... yeah. I was blushing. A lot. And everyone else thought it was pretty funny.

^_^

            Somehow, I managed to get Kaoru's gift safely transferred from my jacket pocket to the guest room, which I had recently learned I was sharing with Okita and Soujiro. It was no easy task. I got lost once, on my way down to the front closet. Kaoru was still walking around, of course, and I had to duck into a bathroom to avoid running into her. Then, when I left the bathroom, I turned the wrong way. So instead of reaching the closet, I ended up down by the study. After I figured out my mistake, it was not so bad, but I spent a good two or three minutes circling the area and getting frustrated.

            I'd guess about fifteen minutes passed between the time I left the room and returned to it. Okita and Soujiro were both in their pajamas and working on inflating the air mattress.

            "Come on, Souji," Okita cheered. "You've almost got it!"

            Soujiro's face was pink with exertion, and he panted loudly. Then, he put his mouth to this huge opening and blew with all his might. I glanced to the top of the mattress, where there was a little engine and a power cord.

            "I don't think that's how you're supposed to do it," I muttered.

            "N-no!" Soujiro said breathlessly. "But--"

            "You're letting all the air out, Souji!" Okita rebuked. "Keep trying!"

            Nodding wearily, Soujiro went back to blowing into that opening that was obviously meant for nothing other than an air escape. I shook my head and looked to Okita.

            "We wanted to see if we could blow it up without the engine this year," Okita explained. "Anyway, where were you? Get lost on the way to the bathroom?"

            "I had to get something," I grumbled, not willing to admit that he was not far from the truth. I had some wrapping paper stashed under the bed, and I pulled it out then.

            "Ahhhhhh," Okita caught his brother when Soujiro finally gave up and collapsed backwards. "The gift for the lovely hostess."

            "She's been really nice to me this year," I said grudgingly. "Not many people put up with me as long as she has."

            "Why?" Soujiro chirped. "You don't seem so bad."

            "Why thank you," I muttered, trying to figure out how to wrap the miscellaneous items. I frowned and crumpled up the wrapping, making a crude-looking paper sack. "This doesn't work."

            "You need a box," Okita suggested.

            "Or one of those gifty bags," Soujiro added.

            "Gifty bags?" I echoed.

            "Oh!" Soujiro grinned at Okita. "The Kleenex."

            "Good idea!" Okita grabbed the nearby box of tissues. "This will work perfectly."

            The_ Kleenex?!_ What were they talking about?

            Okita started yanking the tissues from the box, sending them floating about the room. Soon, the floor was covered in white, disposable hankies. Okita shoved the box into my hands, and it all made sense. I smirked and dumped the various hair accessories into the slot on the top of the box.

            After that, it was a simple wrapping job. Of course, I still managed to butcher it. First, I cut the paper too small, so I had to use two strips. That just made things turn out weird. It looked like I had slapped it together carelessly.

            "Oh well," I sighed and pushed the gift aside. "I think that's as good as it's going to get."

            "I suppose you're the expert on all things hair care?" Okita asked.

            "Hmm?" Why would he ask that? Oh... long hair. Check. "Not really. Not for girls anyway." Nor for men, but was I going to say that? Of course not. "Do you think she'll like it?"

            "Kaoru?" Soujiro looked at Okita, who lifted his eyebrows.

            "Kaoru _Kamiya_?" he added.

            "Is there another Kaoru in the house?" I frowned at them.

            "Well, you know Kaoru," Okita shrugged. "She's..."

            "Fussy," Soujiro inserted.

            "Fussy?" Uh oh. She did not seem like that to me.

            "Last year, Tae got her a sweater," Soujiro explained.

            "And she hated it," Okita nodded emphatically. "Beautiful thing. Looked great on her. But... you know..."

            "I know?" I was in deep trouble.

            "She goes through phases," Soujiro said brightly. "Last year, she wore nothing but wool sweaters."

            What? Wool sweaters?! This was getting bizarre. I didn't know what to think.

            "Well, in the summer she wore that two-tank top combo thing," Okita smirked. "Even when it got cool."

            They were painting a very neurotic portrait of Kaoru. And yet, they had not really answered my question.

            "But the hair stuff..." I mumbled.

            "Oh, I'm sure she'll like it," Soujiro said with a big, horribly fake smile.

            "Probably," Okita nodded.

            "Most likely."

            "Maybe."

            "Not a clue," Soujiro concluded. "How should we know what Kaoru likes to put in her hair?"

            He and Okita burst out laughing. They leaned against each other, giggling and snorting hysterically. I felt like the world's biggest fool.

            "If you... could see... the look on your face!" Okita gasped.

            "That was low," I growled, irritated and hugely embarrassed. "I'm going to bed."

            "Oh, it was just a joke!" Okita protested, still laughing.

            "It wasn't funny!"

            "Lighten up, Kenshin!" Soujiro smiled, snapping the air escape to the mattress shut. I picked up my pajamas, which consisted of flannel pants and a tee shirt, and walked out of the room.

            "Good night."

            They were still chuckling behind me as I closed the bathroom door across the hall.

^_^

            The next morning, I was torn from my peaceful slumber by something rather large jumping around on my bed. The bed creaked and something crashed into my stomach. I gasped and opened my eyes, just in time to see the furry face that was to be my fate.

            If there was anyone still sleeping at that time, they weren't after that dog licked me. As embarrassing as it was, it scared the hell out of me. No, I was not afraid of dogs. However, I was still a little woozy from sleep, and I had not been prepared to see a Golden Labrador Retriever lunge at me. Thus, my startled shout.

            "Kenny! We got a _puppy!_" Ayame shouted. _Nooooo_. Really?!

            Both girls came running into the room after their lost pet.

            "Like our puppy, Kenny?" Suzume asked as she climbed onto the bed after the animal. Soon, I had two young girls and a dog that was larger than the two of them combined on the bed with me.

            Okita and Soujiro were still getting dressed, it seemed. They were not making any progress as they were doubled over laughing. I was so glad I could be their source of amusement.

            I grabbed the dog's collar and attempted to hold it away from me. It hopped and squirmed about, barking excitedly.

            "Are you sure it's a puppy?" I grunted, shoving the thing back. It was drooling all over the sheets. "It's awfully big."

            "Oh, I'm so sorry!" Mrs. Gensai ran into the room and caught the dog's collar, dragging it off the bed. "Ayame and Suzume wanted to hold him and he got away from them."

            "It's okay," I smiled to show I was in good health.

            "Ayame! Suzume!" the woman called. "Let Kenshin and your cousins get dressed."

            "We're going to church in about an hour," Okita said over the barking dog. "You got some nice clothes?"

            I had a decent sweater and black slacks, so I dug them out of my suitcase and ran off to wash my face. I could still smell that dog's breath. It smelled like it had eaten from the garbage recently. Something told me that would not go over well as a new cologne.

^_^

            The service was nice. Since the songs were almost all Christmas carols, I knew most of them and could join in. The whole gospel thing was a little dull. When that priest started talking after he just finished reading from a book, I thought it would never end. Kaoru later informed me that the homily, as it was called, usually went on for about fifteen minutes. Whatever the reason for it, I spent my time admiring the decorations in the church. Christmas trees, garlands, French horns, the nativity scene, and candles everywhere. It was pretty.

            The talking finally ended, and everyone sang again. Then, it was 'peace' something, and they all shook hands. Kaoru turned around and grabbed my hand, leaning forward slightly to murmur, "Peace be with you, Kenshin." I wondered if they did this during every service or only for Christmas.

            After that, we had to kneel and listen to the priest talk some more. Then, people started getting up and walking up to the front. I leaned over to Okita.

            "What are they doing?" I whispered.

            He snorted, blinking rapidly. I smirked. Ah-_hah!_ I had caught him sleeping. Too bad I could not really enjoy it at the time.

            "Huh?" he looked at me blankly.

            "What's going on?" I pointed at the people walking to the front of the church.

            "Hmm?" He looked up. "Oh." He turned back to me. "It's communion."

            "What's that?"

            "Shh," Tae warned from the pew in front of us. Okita rolled his eyes and shook his head.

            "I'll explain it later," he promised. "Just stay here with Ayame and Suzume while the rest of us go."

            I nodded and turned my attention back to the book in my hands. They were singing _Silent Night_. A flute played along in the background, and I turned to look up at the choir loft. Sure enough, there stood a flute player, standing near the organ. Okita nudged me, and I quickly faced the front.

            "Sorry," I muttered.

            He chuckled and stood.

            It finally ended, but we still had to wait until the priest had passed us before we could leave. As relaxing as the service had been, I was ready to leave. Even then, we had to wait until Kaoru and her parents spoke with the priest and wished him a merry Christmas. Then, and only then, could we go. Thank god. Or... uh... whatever.

^_^

            Much to the torment of most of the Kamiya family, the presents remained wrapped and under the tree until after dinner. That excluded that large, excitable dog that seemed to like me for some ungodly reason. The thing must have outweighed me by at least ten pounds. Not that I was the heaviest guy around, but this was a big dog.

            "Oooof!" Again, I found myself victim to the tackling 'puppy.' It liked to jump me from behind, the dumb mutt. I pitched forward--and not for the first time--to the floor. Once it had me on the ground, it would sit square on my back and snuff through my hair and lick what skin it could find. On this occasion, the dog was licking my hands, as I had them folded behind my head in attempt to protect myself from this heinous creature.

            "He likes you!" Suzume declared.

            Well, I did not like _him!_ I wanted it off me.

            "That's it, Zeus," Mr. Gensai pulled the dog back. "It's out into the garage with you."

            Ayame and Suzume whined and chased after their father, wanting to keep the dog inside. They gave some creative reasons why Zeus should be allowed to remain indoors, one being the cold, that he would suffer from hypothermia. Well, Ayame called it 'hyperthallia' but close enough. And yes, they did name that giant of a dog 'Zeus.'

            I went to the kitchen--just grateful for the peace--to wash my hands. They were coated with dog saliva. Kaoru met me there, grinning at me as she handed me a towel.

            "How's it going, Kenshin?" she asked. I got the distinct impression that she was enjoying the events of the past two days. It must have been my destiny to be humiliated in every possible situation. My official title was 'comic relief.' Perhaps I should have printed some business cards and made money off the deal.

            "Okay," I bit back my discomfort and smiled for her. "I've never been much of an animal person."

            "I think Zeus just likes knocking you down," Kaoru laughed. "He's discovered how easy it is, so he'll keep doing it."

            "That's a pleasant thought," I folded the towel over a bar on the kitchen island and looked around curiously. The ham was already out of the oven, and Mr. Kamiya was mashing the potatoes. "Looks like dinner's about ready."

            "Yep," she pushed me toward the dinette where the table was set and ready for dinner. "Go sit down. You're Blitzen."

            "Excuse me?" What the _hell_ did that mean? Kaoru just giggled.

            "The dishes," she explained. "They have Santa's eight reindeer on them. Your setting is 'Blitzen.' You know. Blitzen the reindeer?"

            "Oh." I could not remember the names of all those reindeer to save my life. But I could read, and sure enough, those dishes had comical pictures of reindeer on them, each with its name printed near it.

            "But first!" Kaoru grabbed my arm and steered me in the opposite direction. "Go call everyone and announce dinner."

            I nearly ran into Okita in the doorway between the kitchen and the family room. He laughed and stepped back. I had seen him earlier, and he had already had a couple glasses of wine. Of course, he and his brother could legally drink that. Okita was the only one of the pair that seemed to have a taste for it.

            "What's up, Kenshin?" he wondered.

            "Uh... dinner's ready," I answered. "Kaoru said we could go sit down now."

            "Great!" Tae stood. "I'm starving."

            "Oh!" Tsubame got off the floor as well. They were still working that puzzle. My eyes would have been crossing with the amount of time they spent staring at it. "Look!"

            "What?" Tae looked to where her sister was pointing, somewhere behind me, I thought. The young woman giggled. "Oh!"

            "Kenshin is standing under the mistletoe," Tsubame explained.

            "Why so he is!" Okita chuckled, and I looked up. Sure enough, right there in the middle of the doorway hung a sprig of mistletoe. Just my luck. I stepped back quickly, but Okita caught my arm, preventing my escape. "Not so fast, buddy!"

            "Is this necessary?" I groaned. Just my luck. I would have some strange girl come kiss me because I was standing under that mistletoe!

            "It's tradition!" Tae smiled, following her sister to the kitchen door--that is to say, toward me.

            "Right she is!" Okita nodded. And then, that moron kissed me. He just leaned forward and planted a big one on my lips. I was shocked. My body just froze up, and I stood there like an idiot while this weird guy kissed me.

            Fortunately, it was short. He pressed his lips to mine and then stepped back and walked past me. I stared at Tae and Tsubame. They were both smiling and blushing. I opened my mouth to say something--anything--to redeem myself. Nothing came, so I shut my mouth again and walked back into the kitchen.

            And just to put the frosting to the cake, I was sitting next to Okita at the table that evening.

^_^

            After dinner, we cleared the tables of dishes, wrapped up the leftovers to put in the refrigerator, and set the coffee pot to brewing for dessert. There were cheesecake, apple pie, fudge, too many cookies to count, mints, and candy canes which we were not allowed to take into the living room. Apparently, about two years ago, Ayame had ruined Mrs. Kamiya's favorite rug.

            Finally, dessert was served, we ate the sweets, and then moved to the living room for the great opening of the gifts. To my relief, Kaoru _did_ like her gift. Okita and Soujiro snickered as I shot them a glare over Kaoru's shoulder while she hugged me. They were laughing even harder when Kaoru boldly announced:

            "I can't wait to try these! Kenshin, I'm going to try some on your hair, too!"

            I could hardly wait. I sighed and glowered at the twins. They didn't even notice.

            "Here, Kenshin!" Kaoru shoved an envelope into my hands. "I got something for you, too."

            It could only be a gift certificate. What else would fit into an envelope like that? I fought with the envelope for a moment, giving myself a paper cut in the process. I finished opening it and stuck my finger in my mouth while I slid the folded paper out.

            I frowned at the familiar insignia in the corner and looked at Kaoru. She grinned and nodded at the paper. I flipped it open and stared at it incredulously. It was a voucher--for something _very_ big. I looked at Kaoru in shock.

            "Are you insane?" I blurted.

            She shook her head, a hopeful look on her face. My cut finger was forgotten. I just stared at her.

            "Do you like it?"

            "It's--" I blinked at the paper, trying to figure if this was some sort of joke. "It's a..."

            "Two, actually," she said helpfully.

            "_Two?!_"

            And I had thought twenty dollars on a gift was pretty decent. Sure, Kaoru lived in a mansion, but to fling this much money into a gift for someone she had known only four months...

            "Plane tickets for you and a friend," she said. She was just clarifying for the rest of the people in the room. I knew exactly what this was. "During spring break so you won't miss any class... You said you liked it warm."

            "Warm..." I could not tear my eyes from those ticket vouchers. They were to San Francisco. Other than that trip to London with my aunt, I had never been out of the state. I had certainly never gotten so huge a gift from anyone like this before. "I-I..." I could barely think, let alone come up with a coherent sentence. "Shhhhh..." I let that one trail off before it could become anything too naughty for young ears.

            "So, is it okay?" Kaoru's plea made me look up again. She honestly seemed to think I would hate it. "You like it?" Again, my eyes were drawn to that slip of paper.

            "I've never... This is..." it was back to the stuttering. "Last year, Uncle Hiko gave me a new winter jacket." Like anyone cared about that. I couldn't come up with anything pertinent. "I-I... all I got you was that..." For god's sake! I felt like a pauper. "You didn't... Oh, my god."

            "You've been through so much this year," Kaoru wrapped her arms around my shoulders, leaning against my side and resting her head on my shoulder. I continued to stare at my gift like an idiot. "I wanted to do something really special."

            "It's too much," I murmured. "I can't--"

            Something jutted into my side, and I looked up in surprise. Surprisingly, Tsubame appeared to be the one who had poked me. Beside her, Tae shook her head and scowled at me. I bit my lip and reached down to pat Kaoru's knee awkwardly.

            "I don't know what to say..." that was so inadequate. "Thank you."

            Not much better.

            "So you like it?" Kaoru asked again.

            For god's sake--! Of course--

            "I _like_ it!" I said quickly. "I just... no one has ever... I've never gotten anything like this before. I'm not sure how to accept something like this. It's... it's huge."

            "It's not such a big thing," Kaoru tried to wave it off like it was just peanuts. "I'm just glad you're happy with it."

            My tongue was not working properly, so I decided it was better to keep my mouth shut. I nodded instead.

            Something moved just near my face. I looked up to see something green with a red bow on it waving over Kaoru's head. Just behind it, Okita and Soujiro were grinning with happy mischief. Those idiots. If they thoughts some mistletoe... I was in deep dog shit.

            Not waiting for Kaoru to see that horrible sprig, I wrapped my arms around her back and dragged her into a rough hug. She yelped at the suddenness of the movement, and I took the opportunity to snatch the mistletoe out of the air. It was tied to a stick, which Okita had used to hold that dried plant over Kaoru from afar. He wasn't expecting the move, so he lost his grip on the stick, and I quickly tossed the whole thing to the other side where Ayame and Suzume immediately started playing with it.

            "Thanks, Kaoru," I said. I was grateful. I just was not ready to kiss the girl for her trouble. Sure, I liked her. She was the second nicest young woman I had ever met. But I didn't want to give her the wrong idea.

            "You can take anyone you want," she replied. "I know you and Sano are close. Or if your uncle wants to go with you. Anyone."

            It seemed appropriate to invite Kaoru along, as she was the one who had paid for the trip, but I couldn't say it. It would take some major mental preparation to get those words out.

            She was doing something strange to my shoulder. Not quite rubbing my back. More like... scratching?

            "What are you doing?" I had to ask.

            "I'd really like to see how your hair works in chopsticks," she stated.

            _God save me._

^_^

End Notes: I wish someone would give _me a trip to California. *sigh* Oh well. I guess I can be content with a new sweater. Anyway, this thing is turning out pretty long. At first, I thought it was going to be one chapter. Then, it split into two and now three… Not a bad thing, right? Christmas—scratch—__Winter break continues in chapter 12._

**Random Omake: Gas Problems**

Kenshin: *Narrating* I felt too guilty accepting all the rides out of charity, so in return, I made Kaoru accept money for gas.

Kaoru: Thanks, Kenshin! Now I can go get those TUMS!

**Random Omake: Sailor Moon?!**

Kenshin: *Narrating* Through this, I found myself staring blindly at the ratty pink thing on the table in front of me.

Kaoru: Dear God! How did _that_ get there?!

Sailor Moon aka Serena aka Usagi: *bursts into the kitchen and grabs a donut off the plate on the table* Chibi Usa! What did I tell you about laying on other people's tables?! *Grabs ratty pink thing and walks away*

Kaoru: She took one of our donuts.

Kenshin: *points at table* She took _all_ of the donuts.

Kaoru: GAH!

(Fitz gives credit for this idea to Chibi Assassin, my beloved first editor. She saw the 'ratty pink thing' and the first thing out of her mouth was "Chibi Usa!" As far as I am aware, not many people like this particular character, but if you do, I apologize. Offense was not intended.)

**Random Omake: Uh… guys? You can stop now.**

Okita: Right she is! *Kisses Kenshin*

Kenshin: ...

Tae: ...

Tsubame: ...Wow.

Okita: *still kissing Kenshin*

Kenshin: *wraps arms around Okita and kisses back*

Okita: *smirk (and still kissing Kenshin)*

Fitz: *Stage whisper* This is supposed to be a canon coupling fic, guys!  
Okita: *picks up Kenshin and carries him out of the room*

Fitz: Does anyone _really_ want to know?

Everyone: *wide eyes and shaking heads*

Fitz: Good. Neither do I.

(From the previous chapter)

Fitz: Sorry!

**(1)** It occurs to me that I keep referring to 'east' and 'west' banks without ever explaining what they are. The U of MN is mostly based in Minneapolis, Minnesota, although the agricultural and biological sciences are based in St. Paul. (Minneapolis/St. Paul aka the Twin Cities) The Mississippi River cuts right through the Minneapolis campus. 'West bank' refers to the west side of the river, likewise 'east bank' being the east side of the river. Pretty self-explanatory. 

The Washington Avenue bridge is how students travel from one bank to the other, either via bus or walking/skating/biking/etc. People walk on the top of the bridge while the cars drive across on a level below. (Fitz also notes that it is uphill from west bank to east bank. Pain in the butt for biking to classes.)

To the Reviewers:

**Fuuko****-san: You didn't review before. I'd remember a name like Fuuko… is that from something? My mind is automatically connecting the name to Strawberry Eggs, but I've been known to be wrong. Anyway, thanks for the review!**

**Gypsy-chan: Enishi's always dealing something. Why not drugs? And yup! I saw _Lord of the Rings on opening night with Chibi Assassin, my best of best buds. We both loved it. And I did actually see Harry Potter. It too was cute, but I liked Two Towers better._**

**aku-chan: Well, I wouldn't call Kenshin a 'top' buyer, but you've got the idea. And that is a cute idea. I already had much of this chapter written before I posted the last one, and it does not fit into what I've got. However, I appreciate the input. Perhaps in another story somewhere.**

**Gochan: *shudders at the thought of making Kenshin related to Shishio***

Kenshin: You're making Saitou marry my aunt.

Hush. And… hmmmm… Kaoru at Hiko's house….

**Crystal: Thanks. I'm working on getting things out as fast as I can.**

**Chiki: *blink* You go to Tokyo U? And you're not a pain. I like your reviews.**

**Aishiteru: Megumi could intimidate a sloth.**

**Vesca: Our Christmas was boring this year. Thanksgiving is always more interesting. One year, our cousin brought her ferrets over (Mom _loved that. Not.) and one of them somehow got into the silverware drawer. It was napping peacefully in there when my uncle—a most conservative, anti-skunk relative guy—opened the drawer. It was hilarious. He shouted and __leapt away from that drawer and made us wash all its contents on the threat he would never come to our house again if we didn't at that moment._**

**C-Chan & Eko: Did you know Billy Joel sang a song titled 'My Life'? I just discovered that. How cool. And what's wrong with having something in common? Obviously you both have another thing in common if you like my story. *dashes away***

**Li: Ah… part of the deep, dark past. Not telling yet. Just that… you know sometimes you just associate certain things with something you don't like? Like me. I've got this fear of the garbage disposal in the sink. I know it won't hurt me if I don't, I don't know, shove my hand down into it while it's running, but just the sound of it makes me jittery.**

**Hana**** Himura: Everyone has a dysfunctional family. It's just the level of 'screwed up' that changes. I've got an aunt who is clinically antisocial. We once put out a restraining order on her. But my family is pretty small, so our dysfunctional level is pretty low. Our Christmas was boring as a result.**

**nekonomiko: Well, you've got a point. A/M _is really cute. It's about the only pairing I refuse to mess with (that is to say, alter). *whispering* And not that I don't like K/K, but sometimes I get so sick of people making Kaoru this perfect goddess and Kenshin the smooth, dangerous hero. *gags on the sugar and flowers* Flowers? Sure._**

**Keiko: The last story I wrote, I used MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder). So you see, I feel a bit odd sticking something like that in this one too. I believe there is another story on the ff.net that has schizophrenia in it. Both stories—the one I wrote and the schizo one—are shonen ai and blatantly yaoi respectively. *shrug* That schizo one was a little graphic, I discovered. *blushes all around***


	12. Stuck somewhere in between

Disclaimer: *Weird teacher lady from Invader Zim walks up*

Teacher lady: And in here, there is _NOTHING! And Fitz? She owns __NOTHING!_

Disclaimer: *sigh*

Fitz: *whispering* I have no opinions when it comes to politics. Any comments made are specific to this story and not necessarily true.

Notes: Goodness, I'm finally able to get on the site. I wanted to put this up yesterday. Oh well. *madly waving* Hiya! Am I not speedy when I'm not busy with school?

Warnings: Longish chapter, depressing scenes, predictable scenes, some political insults.

Kenshin: Can we just skip this chapter, Fitz-dono?

Fitz: That would not be fair to the readers, Kenshin.

Kenshin: I don't like it!

Fitz: *smirk*

Onward!!

My Life

            "You know what your problem is, Kenshin?" Okita asked me that night as we got ready for bed. I had finally escaped Kaoru and her brush and hair accessories that I so wisely purchased for her, only to have to listen to the two wise asses of the family lecture me.

            "Enlighten me," I grunted, yanking a chopstick out of my hair. After I pulled out the second one, my hair dropped in a mess of waves.

            "You're afraid of commitment," the man informed me. "You're afraid to get close to anyone."

            "I have friends," I glared at him, setting the chopsticks--they were blue with little butterflies on them--on the table with a soft _click_.

            "Friends? Or acquaintances?" Okita challenged. I noticed that Soujiro was awfully quiet, tucking himself into bed. He was obviously the smarter of the two. Of course, Okita had not drunk a small amount of alcohol that night either.

            "What are you implying?" I snapped. "You barely know me! I met you _yesterday!_"

            "It's nothing to get defensive about," Okita smirked, apparently not at all put out by my display. "A lot of people are like that. Have a rough time making friends when you were a kid?"

            "No!" I snatched up my night shirt and changed rapidly. "What the hell business of yours is that anyway?"

            "Get dumped by your last girlfriend?" He just didn't get it!

            "Not that it's your business, but I've never had a girlfriend," I informed him hotly. I kicked off my jeans and yanked on my flannel pants.

            "Afraid of rejection?"

            "What are you?! A psychiatrist?" I shoved the blankets back roughly, glaring over my shoulder at that drunken asshole. "_No_, I'm not afraid of rejection! Knock it off!"

            "Well, a lack of commitment is usually a result of a fear of rejection or a fear of losing that person you care about," Okita sat on the air mattress, running his fingers through his hair and yawning. "So... if you're not afraid of rejection, it must be the second."

            "Son of a--" I whirled to face him.

            "So you've lost people you care about!" Okita exclaimed triumphantly. "You don't talk about parents ever, so they must be--"

            "Shut _up!_" my voice lifted almost into a shout. Okita blinked, his gaze momentarily clearing. I hoped he was sober enough to understand me as I jabbed my finger toward him, glaring at him with all the fury I felt. I hated him at that moment. "You don't know anything, so stop stabbing in the dark. If I have a problem, then it's _my_ problem. But I _don't_ have a problem, so you can just keep your nose out of my business. Got it?"

            He blinked again and nodded. I sighed with relief and climbed into bed. No way was I going to let that bastard's words get to me. I kept telling myself that as the lights went off, as the tears came, and... damn it all anyway. I had been a bit of a wimp and a crybaby when I was younger, and I had tried my hardest to grow out of that stage. It made me angry that a man who was nearly a stranger, and drunk to top it off, could upset me to tears with a few words.

            I must have made some noise because someone got up and came to my bed. I didn't wait to find out which of the twins it was.

            "Touch me, and I swear to god, I'll make you regret it," I hissed, my voice breaking disgracefully. "Just leave me alone."

            "He didn't mean it," the man said softly. So it was Soujiro.

            "I don't care," I growled. "I'm tired. Go away."

            He was really quiet for awhile, and for a moment I thought he'd leave. Unfortunately, I was mistaken, and he spoke again.

            "You know it wouldn't hurt so much if it wasn't true."

            I flipped the covers back and climbed out of bed, startling Soujiro. He fell back when I pushed past him and out of the room. Screw the both of them. I didn't need to listen to that.

            The Christmas tree was still lit--the artificial one, anyway. The real tree was in the living room, where we had opened all the gifts. They did not keep that one lit. It was a fire hazard, after all. But the one in the family room was still glowing a soft white. I sat on the floor and leaned back against the sofa.

            I was _not_ afraid of commitment. Just because I was somewhat introverted meant nothing. I had difficulty making friends sometimes, but that was hardly my fault. If they were too leery of a guy with long hair and a distant personality, then that was their problem.

            There was a soft whine beside me, and I felt a cool, damp nose nudge my cheek. I jerked away from the unpleasant contact and halfheartedly rubbed at the dog's shoulder. Zeus whined again and dropped his impressive frame down next to me, his large head going into my lap. Oh well. Smiling despite myself, I stroked the dog's soft fur between his ears.

^_^

            I woke the next morning feeling sore and disoriented. Ayame and Suzume bounded around the second floor, announcing that they were awake and ready to play with their new toys. The dog had wrapped himself around me during the night, and I had to squirm quite a bit to get free of him.

            Later came an uncomfortable moment when Okita walked into the kitchen, holding his head and squinting in the light. Soujiro followed him, looking about warily. He seemed relieved to see me, sitting at the table with the others. Okita, on the other hand, did not seem to recall anything of the previous night's conversation.

            "Who let me drink so much?" he groaned.

            "You're a responsible boy," Mr. Kamiya retorted. "You can regulate your own intake of alcohol."

            "I must have passed out the instant I walked into the room," Okita decided. That jerk. Either he was really hung over or a very good actor. It was just as well. Better that he did not recall my anger directed toward him.

            "You were pretty drunk, Okita," Soujiro said with an uneasy glance in my direction once again. I huffed softly and drank my orange juice without comment.

            The day proceeded smoothly after that. It was no use being angry with someone who obviously would not understand the reason behind the fury, so I had to let it drop. Soujiro steered clear of me, for whatever reasons, and everything was fine. Just peachy.

^_^

            Kaoru's relatives left that Friday to return to their respective homes. Worried about wearing out my welcome, I decided to call Uncle Hiko to see how things were going. Kaoru pointed to the phone in the kitchen, and I sat on a stool by the counter, idly swinging my leg while I waited for someone to answer.

            "'lo?"

            _Shit._

            "...Is Unc... is Hiko there?" I asked after a moment. Well, that answered the question over whether or not my cousin was still hanging around.

            "Who's asking?" Of all the nerve.

            "Is he there?" I growled, clenching my teeth in attempt not to say anything nasty.

            "Kenshin? That you?" Enishi laughed. "Hey! How's my boy doing?"

            "Where's Uncle Hiko?" I asked, getting angrier by the second.

            "Oh, he's around here somewhere," it _sounded_ like he was moving around, perhaps searching for my uncle. "It's been awhile. How've you been?" his voice dropped suddenly. "I heard you got busted."

            "A lot has happened in the past few years, Enishi," I said, trying to keep my voice as calm and even as possible. "Tell Uncle Hiko I want to talk to him."

            "Sure, sure," he agreed carelessly. "You never called me, kid. What's the deal with that?"

            "Been awfully busy," I muttered. "I really need to speak with my uncle, Enishi."

            "Hold on a sec, kid," Enishi protested. "It's been forever. And we've go a lot left unfinished between us."

            I could feel the blood draining from my face. I growled softly, furious at my own fear and clutched the phone tightly.

            "Go get my uncle," I ordered.

            _"Who's on the phone, Enishi?"_ Uncle Hiko's voice rang clear over the line, even though he was not holding the phone.

            "It's Kenshin," Enishi said cheerfully. "We've just been catching up. Here you go."

            There was some fumbling with the phone on the other end, and finally Uncle Hiko answered.

            "Kenshin."

            Thank god.

            "Isn't he gone yet?" I demanded.

            "It hasn't been that long, idiot," Uncle Hiko rebuked.

            "When is he leaving?" I ignored the insult.

            "New Years," he answered.

            "Fine, just keep him away from me," I said finally.

            "You stay away from here," he replied. "And there shouldn't be any problems."

            "Well, what am I supposed to do until New Years?" I groaned. "I've already been here for nearly a week. I can't ask them to put up with me for another week. You know, I've already insulted one of her cousins?"

            "Was it for good reason?"

            "...I don't know," I was ready to toss my hands in the air and declare this a useless conversation. "Maybe. He was getting kind of nasty."

            "Hitting on you?"

            "_NO!_" God! Yuck! "_Uncle Hiko!_"

            "Then just insulting you," he predicted, totally unfazed, as usual. _Just_ insulting me. Like I should have just put up with it. I bristled at the thought.

            "Look, the moron was asking for it," I said, indignant. "He didn't have to say those things. It wasn't like I did anything to him that warranted--"

            "Kenshin."

            I cut off. He rarely did that to me--call me by name, that is. Well, I was starting to whine and babble.

            "Thank you," he sighed, as if pleased by the sudden quiet. "What did he say?"

            That brought me up short. Uncle Hiko? Trying to carry on a meaningful conversation with me? Not a chance in hell. He was going to listen to me, then fling it back into my face and make me feel like I was the idiot for the things I thought.

            "Nothing," I said abruptly. "It's nothing. I'm going to go talk with Kaoru to see if I can stay a little longer. If not, I'll go crash in the dorms. I'll have to eat my supply of ramen and Easy Mac, but it could work."

            "And that man who--"

            "He's gone, Uncle Hiko," I said quickly. "It's done. It's fine. I'll talk to you later... and would you try to start answering the phone before Enishi? I don't like talking to him."

            I hung up before he could say anything more. A scuffling in front of me made me look up, and Kaoru frowned at me from the doorway. Whoops... She was not supposed to hear any of that. And she looked worried. Damn it.

            "Kenshin, why didn't you tell me someone was bothering you?" she asked quietly. "I could have talked to them."

            "No one was bothering me, Kaoru," I said, trying to smile and all the while aware that there was practically a neon sign over my head flashing '_LIAR! LIAR! LIAR!'_ Kaoru certainly did not look like she was buying it. So, when all else fails, change the subject. "But, um... my cousin is still at my uncle's house--"

            "I heard," she interrupted. "Who was it, Kenshin?"

            It seemed she was not going to let this one go.

            "It's okay, Kaoru," I said, smiling my winning smile. Yeah... right. "You know I'm always too sensitive when it comes to teasing."

            "You usually keep quiet about it, though," Kaoru pointed out. "You were going off on your uncle--"

            "Look, it's fine!" I said, perhaps a little too sharply. She blinked, startled by my outburst. A tiny voice in my head warned me that it was not the best idea to yell at the hostess if I wanted to stay any longer. I also thought that if this kept up, I may have been better off staying alone at the dorm. I hopped off the stool, put the phone back on the cradle, and walked out of the kitchen.

            In the guest room, I checked my bags and circled the room once to make sure nothing of mine was left behind. I stopped beside the bed, staring at the envelope on the night stand. I picked it up.

            An airplane ticket. _Two_ of them. What kind of person gives plane tickets to her friend for Christmas?

            _A rich one_.

            San Francisco. Even if I used those tickets, I could not afford a place to stay. All of my money went to school and bus fares. No way was I asking Uncle Hiko to pay for anything. It was a waste of money. I was going to have to give those tickets to someone who _could_ use them.

            I dropped the envelope and sat down on the bed. My gorilla was thrown carelessly against the wall. The maid had been through. I could tell by the pillow case. The previous day, it had been yellow. That morning, it was light blue. The gorilla was out of place on the designer comforter. I picked it up and held it in my lap. I fiddled with its ears absently while deciding what I was going to do. Surely I could find a bus that went back to the U...

            "Kenshin?" Kaoru knocked lightly on the door and poked her head in. "Can I come in?"

            I shrugged and looked down at the stuffed animal in my lap. A few seconds later, the bed creaked softly, shifting down to the side as Kaoru sat beside me.

            "I'm sorry I pressed you," she said. "Don't be mad."

            "I'm not mad," I mumbled. Truly, I wasn't mad. A little frustrated perhaps, but not mad. I was kicking myself at the moment. Nothing I ever did was right. "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

            Another apology. It seemed like I was always apologizing for my behavior. I _was_ too touchy. Too quick to take offense.

            "I know Okita and Soujiro can get a little--"

            "Kaoru," I glanced at her in warning.

            "Right," she made a motion of zipping her lips, locking them, and throwing away the key. "Uh... do you have to work today?"

            "Not until Sunday."

            "So you've got today and Saturday," she reached in front of me and scratched the top of my stuffed gorilla's head like it was a living creature. "How about you and me go do something fun?"

            "Like what?" I looked at her curiously.

            "Have you ever been to the Carousel?"

            "You mean... that restaurant?" I blinked. That place was outlandishly expensive. "No."

            "Then let's go," she got up, grabbing my hands and pulling me off the bed. She looked me over like I imagined she would some fancy party decorations. "Do you have anything nicer than what you wore at mass?"

            "Uh... at Uncle Hiko's house," I winced. "But--"

            "I know, you don't want to go there," she nodded. "Then we'll go get you a new shirt."

            Oh, for god's sake.

            "I can't afford a new shirt right now, Kaoru," I grumbled. I had spent my quota for the month on her present.

            "I can pay for it--" I opened my mouth to object, but she wouldn't let me speak. "Get your nice pants. We've got to make sure it goes well together. We'll start in Marshal Fields in Minneapolis, and if we can't find anything there, we'll move to the Mall of America..."

            It's not fair, but once a woman has something set in her mind, no one can stop her. Kaoru was no different, so it seemed. She just smiled blandly through my protests and calmly told me to get my jacket. I stood my ground for awhile. I didn't want her charity--I didn't need it. But that girl just knocked me over and started putting my shoes on my feet for me. I grabbed her hands, glaring at her in my offense.

            "I really wish you would stop it," I told her. She blinked at me.

            "What do you mean, Kenshin?"

            "You didn't do this before," I complained. "When we were at college, not around all... this," I jerked my head in general acknowledgment of the room around us. "You didn't try to dote on your friends. Not that I don't appreciate the gesture, but not all of us have that kind of money, and I don't like taking money from people."

            "But..." apparently, she did not see anything wrong with being generous with her money. I thought she needed to save it for someone who really needed it.

            "We don't have to spend a lot to have a nice time, Kaoru. I don't want you buying anything else for me."

            She sighed.

            "Does it make you that uncomfortable?"

            "Yes!"

            We were silent for a few seconds, neither willing to be the first to look away. She blinked. I smirked. She groaned and shook her head.

            "Not fair! Guys don't have to blink as much!" she whined. Then, she smiled again. "I know! Get your warm clothes on, Kenshin!"

            "What?" the sudden change surprised me. What was she up to?

            "I know you hate the cold, but we're going to do some walking outside tonight," she explained.

            "Outside?" Dang it. I had to go open my big mouth. And just what was so wrong with a new shirt? The Carousel was supposed to be a really nice restaurant, too. Not that I would ever see for myself.

^_^

            We ended up on Summit Avenue by the cathedral. I followed Kaoru along the sidewalk, admiring the huge houses, lit up for the season. They were pretty, I guess. I was just glad I had my scarf and warm sweater on along with my winter jacket.

            "Look, Kenshin!" Kaoru pointed suddenly. "The governor's mansion."

            I looked. And it looked about the same as every other house on the block. With the garlands draped about the place, I was willing to bet it looked better during the day. Kaoru agreed, apparently.

            "It's so boring!" she announced. "They usually do a better job than this!"

            "Jesse was probably too busy making a fool of himself in the eyes of the world to spend much time decorating for Christmas," I offered as an explanation.

            "Kenshin!" Kaoru laughed. "And right in front of Governor Ventura's house!"  
            "Do you honestly think he's in there right now?" I asked. The house was awfully dark. There were probably guards lurking around somewhere, but other than that...

            "He wasn't a _bad_ governor," she argued.

            I was not much for politics, so I just shrugged and let her have her way. All I knew was that Governor Ventura had fought to make it so I could not get much in the way of student loans. Fortunately, he had not been overly successful in that attempt. Besides, the Federal government gave more than the State.

            "He didn't even run for reelection," Kaoru commented as we continued along the sidewalk. "I wonder why not?"

            I knew why not.

            "His wife didn't want him to."

            "His wife?" Kaoru grinned at me through the dark.

            "That's about the only reason any guy would willingly give this up," I gestured back to that house. "It's always a woman."

            "What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Kaoru's grin disappeared to be replaced by a scowl. Dang it. There was no good way out of this. I decided to stand firm.

            "You've read the history books," I said slowly. I hoped this did not get me into too much trouble. "Consider it. Hellen of Troy--"

            "She was mythical!"

            "Okay," I admitted. "Um..."

            "_Hah!_" she stuck her finger almost against my nose. She had a very smug grin on her face. "You can't even think of anyone real!"

            "It's not like all women were bad!" I insisted. "There are a lot of memorable women. Eleanor Roosevelt, for one."

            "Emily Dickinson," Kaoru offered. Ah... I was back in her good graces.

            "Rosa Parks," I was really wracking my brain for these names. As I well knew, history was not my forte. "Marie Antoinette?"

            "Didn't she get beheaded?" Kaoru wondered.

            "Uh... yeah, I think so."

            "Who's that woman?" she thought aloud. "The one who wrote _Uncle Tom's Cabin_?"

            "A woman wrote that?" That story sounded familiar, but I could not have said what it was about.

            "I think so," she hugged herself and hopped about suddenly. "Geez! Kenshin, your hand."

            "Wh-what?" I looked at her uncertainly. She held her hand out expectantly.

            "Don't be a baby," she said, pouting a bit herself. "My hands are cold. Give me your hands so I can warm mine up."

            I was trying not to shudder with cold, and she wanted me to let her put her icy fingers on me? She _was_ crazy! Yet, what did I do? Yes, I pulled my hands out of my pockets. She had a grip on them the instant they left the safety of my jacket.

            "Shhhhhhh..." I hissed in unhappy surprise. Her hands were like ice! I did shudder, then quickly adjusted my hands to envelop hers rather than the other way around. It was less painful that way.

            "Just as I thought," she giggled, sounding a bit breathless. I hoped she wasn't coming down with anything. That would make for a miserable rest of the week. "Every guy I've ever met has had warm hands."

            I chuckled and shook my head. Odd girl.

            "You should invest in some mittens," I said.

            "I have mittens," she sighed. "They look stupid."

            "Blue fingers look pretty dumb too," I pointed out.

            "I know, I know," she pulled one hand out of my grip to shove at my shoulder. "Jerk."

            "A jerk and a hand warmer, apparently," I said dryly. "Let's head back. It's freezing out here."

            She reluctantly agreed, and I turned to go to the car, several blocks down. I felt a tug on my hand when I tried to return it to my pocket.

            _What--?_

            Kaoru wouldn't let go. Her other hand was tucked up in the sleeve of her down jacket, but the one keeping mine from the warmth of my pocket held on like there was no tomorrow. I didn't understand what she meant by that. Was she still trying to warm up? Or something else?

            The thought that she was still using me as her own personal hand warmer was a bit more comfortable, so I strove to keep that one at the front.

            "Have you ever done this before, Kenshin?" she asked. Done what? Held a girl's hand? Damn it! I was _not_ thinking about that! "Walk around just to look at the Christmas lights, I mean."

            Oh.

            "Sure," I looked up as we walked through a small park. The trees around us were lit up with tens of thousands of little white lights. "It's been awhile, though."

            "How long is awhile?"

            "Um..." I lowered my gaze to the ground, suddenly not wanting to look at those lights anymore. "About four years ago. Almost..." What was the date? The twenty-seventh? And we had gone out the day after Christmas. "Almost _exactly_ four years ago."

            "You sound so sad," Kaoru murmured. I swallowed and nodded once. To my relief, she did not ask. I walked a little faster.

            "Let's go back to the car."

^_^

            _She was wearing a white dress with a full skirt that trailed out far behind her. I had to be careful not to step on it as I walked toward her. Her friend was to the side, wearing some green dress with this ugly bow on it. She giggled._

_            "Kenny, does this dress make me look too busty?"_

_            Busty? That bow was hideous. I told her so, avoiding her question entirely. I wasn't stupid enough to actually answer that. But I was intent on that girl in the wedding dress. Her long black hair was floating around her, messy from changing clothes so many times. She laughed and turned to face me._

_            "Kenshin?" she held open her arms, and I smiled and walked to her. She wrapped her arms around me, whispering, "I'm so excited."_

_            Her grip tightened, her hands squeezing my arms until it hurt. I tried to pull away._

_            "You're hurting me," I complained._

_            "It'll be fine... It'll be fun." That wasn't Tomoe. That wasn't her! I struggled, trying to get away._

_            I gasped as my back hit the wall. My vision was blurry, my senses distorted. Too much smoke around me, too little air. I protested the rough treatment with a shout. Why didn't anyone come? Couldn't they hear that something bad was happening upstairs?_

_            "Stop!"_

_            He shoved me through a door into a room, and I broke away. Terror clouded my mind, and I dove farther into the room instead of trying to get out. I hit a bed, tried to climb over it, but something hit me from behind, and I fell. Someone was screaming. It might have been me. The guy grabbed my hair, yanking me back again, and I reached for anything._

_            The light of the lamp flashed in my eyes just before the plug was torn from the wall._

_            A woman fell, and I was pinned beneath her, my hair still caught in something._

_            The ground was hard and cold, and I couldn't breathe. Tomoe's friend was calling my name, but I didn't want to hear Tomoe's friend. Where was Tomoe?_

_            "Kenny, talk to me," Tomoe's friend begged. "Are you okay? Are you okay? You're okay. You're fine."_

_            No... no... Why wasn't Tomoe talking to me? I tried to get her to talk, but she just laid there, not moving, and I was so cold, but I wished her friend would shut up so I could hear if Tomoe said anything--_

            My own strangled sob was what ultimately woke me, despite the hands on my arms, shaking me gently. I tried to sit up, even as the other person in the room tried to warn me against it.

            "No, wait--"

            Pain screamed through my scalp as something snagged in my hair, preventing the movement, and I fell back. I couldn't stop shaking, and I was panting, my mind still not quite free of that awful dream.

            "Tommie!" I gasped, struggling with whoever was holding me down. Something tugged on my hair, and I lashed out at the stranger bending over me. "Let _go!_" My arms were caught and held immobile in the air over my chest. Whoever was holding me had a hell of a grip, and nothing I did, it seemed, would break it. I couldn't move with my hair caught, and I growled out another protest. "Stop!"

            "Easy," a fairly deep voice whispered. "Wake up. You're awake. You're fine."

            I gasped again, blinking rapidly in the darkness to focus on the person talking to me. A familiar face stared down at me, worry clear in his features.

            "Mr. Kamiya?" I asked, my teeth chattering like crazy. I tried to stop it, but it was harder to breathe with my teeth clenched, so I let them clack like that.

            "Hold still, Kenshin," he warned. "Your hair got caught in the headboard."

            That explained a few things. I was cold because I had kicked off all the blankets sometime during the night. And I had heard someone telling me I was fine--Mr. Kamiya.

            "There," he finished fiddling with my hair and sat back with a smile. "That better?"

            I was still working on an answer to that while he tugged at the sheets around me, pushing them up so that they covered me once more.

            "It's not really time to get up yet," he said, still whispering. "I get up pretty early..."

            It was rather surreal, that moment with Kaoru's father sitting on the bed next to me. My shivering slowly abated, chased away by the layers of blankets. I sighed, listening to him talk about how he was planning to go to the dojo at six-thirty that morning. The dream faded. Mr. Kamiya surprised me again when he patted my cheek lightly.

            "How are you feeling?" he asked.

            "Better," I answered honestly. "Thanks for, um... for helping with that."

            I rubbed me head. It was still sore from my little game of tug-o-war with the bed.

            "I don't suppose you'll be going back to sleep anytime soon?" he wondered.

            "Probably not," I sat up slowly, just in case any stray hairs were still trapped. Mr. Kamiya had done a thorough job of freeing me. "Sorry."

            "That was some nightmare, kiddo," Mr. Kamiya put his hand on my shoulder. "You ever been to a dojo, Kenshin?"

            The thought of visiting the Kamiya dojo made me pause. Kaoru had promised to take me, but thus far we had not had the opportunity.

            "I'm leaving in about forty minutes," he stood and walked slowly to the door. "If you want to go, be ready then."

            He left the room. I blinked, wondering what had just happened. I glanced at the clock. Its red numbers read 5:40 A.M. Making a quick decision, I threw back the covers and climbed out of bed. Digging through my bag for some comfortable clothes, I dashed across the hall to the bathroom.

^_^

            Mr. Kamiya left a note for Kaoru and Ms. Kamiya on the kitchen table, and we went to the dojo. It was an interesting experience to say the least. Mr. Kamiya showed me around the dojo, explaining that it was modeled after the traditional dojos in Japan. It was different than anything I had ever seen.

            He had nine o'clock lessons, so why he wanted to be there two and a half hours early was beyond me. Mr. Kamiya did some warm-up exercises while I looked around. I tried to decipher the name plates hanging on the wall, but they were all in Japanese. I had barely passed my Spanish exam, let alone knowing any other language.

            After that, Mr. Kamiya invited me to practice with him. That was fun. Granted, Mr. Kamiya was a master of his style. Aoshi still sparred with me on occasion and insisted that I was getting better. He also admitted that rarely would a still-learning student defeat a master. I didn't know anything about that, but I _did_ know that I spent more time falling than fighting.

            "You're very good at not getting hurt," Mr. Kamiya complimented once as I pushed myself back to my feet. "Your falls are perfect."

            Well, that was great. I could fall. Apparently, that meant success in the study of martial arts. I looked at him skeptically.

            "Would falling help me in a tournament?" I asked.

            He chuckled and shook his head, and we started again.

            When nine o'clock rolled around, I was sitting on a bench near the side. I held an ice pack against the side of my head. Mr. Kamiya had gotten in a good punch, although the floor had done more damage than he did. A little Tylenol and a cold compress, and I felt almost human again. Kaoru's father apologized profusely, but I waved it off. It was a hazard of the game. I knew that. It would be stupid to blame him. Besides, wasn't I supposed to be the expert at falling?

            Kaoru showed up shortly before ten. She laughed when she saw me.

            "What happened?" she asked, still giggling as she pulled my hand and the ice pack away from my head.

            "Fell," I replied, a bit embarrassed. She touched my head, and I flinched. "Ow! Don't touch it!"

            "Sorry," she smiled sheepishly. "You have any breakfast?"

            "I had some cereal," I got up and followed her into the next room.

            "How about lunch?"

            "It's barely ten," I shook my head.

            "So?" she smirked. "There's a place downtown I think you'd like. If we start now, we might get there before eleven."

            "We're walking?" She held out her hand for the ice pack, which I relinquished, and she put it in the freezer.

            "Your head up for it?" she reached up as if to tap the side of my head again, and I hopped back warily. We had already established how much it hurt when someone touched the bump. "I guess so. It's not that cold out. It's supposed to get to forty today."

            "Let's pull out our towels and go sunbathe," I remarked wryly. She swatted at me and rolled her eyes. I picked up my jacket and followed her outside.

            I silently declared her a liar the instant I stepped foot out of the dojo. It felt like twenty below. Kaoru caught my arm before I could go back inside.

            "Come on!" she laughed. "It'll be fun."

            "It's colder than it was last night," I groaned, but I followed her. "What place is worth walking out in this for an hour?"

            "McDonalds."

            "The hell it is," I turned around.

            "Kenshin!"

^_^

            It was cold, windy, my hair was still damp, and we were walking around a big pond. I was not pleased.

            "This is cruelty," I complained. It felt like my ponytail had turned into ice. I reached back and tousled it lightly. Sure enough, the middle of my ponytail, which had previously been still wet, had frozen. "Let's find someplace and go inside."

            "Don't be silly," Kaoru laughed. Despite my warnings, she was walking along the edge of the pond--on the ice. It had not been that cold lately, and I didn't like the idea of her on that ice, even if it was supposed to be safe. "We're almost there. It's just around the next bend."

            "You said that at the last turn," I pointed out. She just shook her head and walked out a little further on the pond, sliding around a bit on the ice. "I wish you wouldn't do that."

            "Come on, Kenshin," she glared at me. "I've done this since I was a kid. I know what I'm doing."

            I scowled back at her, but she just stuck her tongue out at me before twirling around and letting the slippery ice do the rest. I was uneasy about the whole thing, but if she was going to be juvenile about it, I was not going to play her game. Grumbling under my breath, I kept walking.

            On the road beside us, someone honked their horn, and I looked up in surprise. Some guy leaned out the window and whistled loudly. There was no one else walking on the sidewalk, and I doubted they could see Kaoru from where they were on the road.

            I glared at the guy. I hated it when people did that. I wondered what the idiot would have said if he knew I was a guy.

            "Come on, Kaoru," I turned to go back to try to convince her to get off the ice again. "Let's..." she was gone. "Kaoru?"

            I saw the dark patch in the ice. It felt like someone had hit me in the chest with a sledgehammer.

            "_Kaoru?!_"

            Then, I did something rather stupid. I went onto the ice. The dark water bubbled, and I landed on my stomach by that hole.

            Conscious thought never applied. My mind was totally blank. It was one big panic. I kept calling Kaoru's name, begging her to tell me it was a joke, that she was hiding over a hill somewhere.

            The water stabbed at my arm like hundreds of ice picks swinging at me, but it didn't matter. Was that a limb I felt? Hair? Hair! I grabbed it and pulled up.

            Kaoru didn't complain when I dragged her out of the water by her hair. In fact, she didn't say anything. I grabbed her arm and pulled her over to the bank. She didn't move.

            "Kaoru?" I shook her roughly. My heart was pounding in my chest painfully, my throat closing. Her face was blue, her lips purple. She wasn't breathing. "_Kaoru!!_"

            Desperation, I learned, did odd things to a person. I knew CPR. But did I use it? Just barely. A violent shove to the girl's stomach set her to vomiting more water than I'd ever seen anyone spit up. She opened her eyes briefly, then closed them again.

            "No, don't!" I grabbed her arms and shook her again. "Don't close your--!"

            She didn't move.

            _What do I do? What do I _do_?!_

            She was too wet. I fumbled with her jacket zipper and yanked it down. She was not overweight by any means, but with all that water, she was very heavy. I managed to get the jacket off her, wrapping her in my jacket instead.

            _Now what?_ I stared at her for a second, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do. She wasn't even shivering!

            "Kaoru, come on. Open your eyes," I pleaded with her. I picked her up. Normally, I should not have been able to carry her any great distance, but I barely felt her weight as I climbed the hill to the sidewalk. I had to get her to a hospital.

            Setting Kaoru on a bench, I did the unthinkable. I ran into the road in front of a moving vehicle. Okay, that terrified me. I'd been hit by a car before--indirectly--and I did not seek to repeat the accident. Fortunately, with my arms waving wildly at the person to stop, he did. Barely. I planted my hands on the front fender of the car and skidded back a few steps before he stopped.

            The driver's window opened, and the guy yelled out at me in angry, rapid Spanish.

            _No, no, NO!_

            "Fucking _hell!_" I slammed my hands down on the man's car hood angrily. Of all the people I could have stopped, I stopped someone who _couldn't speak English!_ I decided I didn't care.

            Pointing desperately at Kaoru, just a few feet away, still not moving, I yelled at him again.

            "A hospital!" I demanded. "I need to go to a hospital!"

            The passenger door opened, and a woman got out of the car. She was almost as short as I was, with black hair and a thick, deeply tanned face. She saw Kaoru and started arguing with the man driving. They spoke back and forth far too quickly for me to catch any of what they said. Then, the driver got out of the car.

            "_El hospital_," the man pointed at Kaoru. I nodded desperately. I was shivering from the cold by that point as well. My arms were soaked, and Kaoru was wearing my jacket. A sweater and corduroy pants simply were not enough in this cold.

            Somehow, we ended up in the back seat of the guy's beat-up Oldsmobile. They turned up the heater as high as it would go, but the little vent near the floor in the middle of the car was not really enough. Kaoru still wasn't moving, and she was really cold. She was completely limp as I hugged her close to me.

            "Don't die, Kaoru," I prayed. "Please..." My face was wet, but if that was from tears or Kaoru's wet hair, I couldn't tell.

            They pulled up to the emergency room, and the man took Kaoru from me. I protested as he pulled the girl out of my arms. My mind was not keeping up with the fast-paced situation.

            _Where are they going?_

            I followed, scrambling to get out of the car. The lady caught me before I could get too far. I stared at her incredulously, bewildered by her softly spoken Spanish.

            "What?" I blurted. "I don't understand. Kaoru--"

            "No, no," the woman insisted in her accented speech. That was all I understood. After that, it was more Spanish nonsense. But she was leading me into the building, where the man had taken Kaoru, so I didn't protest anymore.

            After that, I lost track of things. Someone guided me to a bed. They took my wet clothes and made me put on something else. I searched the surrounding area for Kaoru, asking where she was. The nurses just told me to lay down, and they put a bunch of blankets over me.

            Well, I wasn't about to stay put. I had to know if Kaoru was okay. The last time someone took me away from... That wasn't going to happen.

            No one noticed me at first. That lasted as far as the curtain that blocked me off from the rest of the area. The instant I stepped past that, a woman ran over to me and pushed me back.

            "Where's Kaoru?" I insisted, not giving ground as the lady tried to guide me back to the bed. "Where is she?"

            "Calm down, son," the nurse had a good grip on my arms, and I couldn't get past her. "Honey, sweetie," she caught my chin, pushing my face up. I hated it when people did that to me. I jerked back, glaring at her, but she wouldn't let go. "Kid!" she said sharply. "Calm down! Now stop it."

            I blinked, startled at the harsh treatment. Her brown gaze was unrelenting, and it occurred to me that I was being rather reckless. I stopped.

            "Where's Kaoru?" I asked again. She released my face.

            "She'll be fine," the nurse said finally. "The nurses are working on getting her warm again, and she should wake up in no time."

            "She's alive?"

            "She's--" the nurse blinked at me. "Yes! She's alive. Honey, she was barely into the first stages of hypothermia. The water in her lungs was more damaging."

            My legs turned to jelly. The nurse had to catch me as I fell, and she dragged me back to the bed.

            "You're in shock, kid," she told me, tucking the blankets around me again. "Frankly, you're in as much danger as your friend. Just calm down, okay? You need to relax."

            "I need to call..." As soon as she told me everything would be all right, I started breathing easily again. The panic faded, and I remembered Kaoru's family. "Her parents. I should call--"

            "It's taken care of," the nurse assured me. "Miss Kamiya had some ID in her pocket. You, however, we have no name for."

            "Oh... uh... Kenshin," I sighed. I was suddenly very tired. "Kenshin Himura."

            "Thanks, Kenshin," she wrote on something. "Do you have any immediate family members you want called?"

            "Someone should call... my uncle," I winced at that thought. "Hiko."

            "His phone number?"

            I told her the number, and she walked away. I sighed again and closed my eyes. What a way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

^_^

            I called in sick to work the next day. My nerves were shot, and I jumped at the slightest nudge. It got really irritating.

            "Kenshin?" Ms. Kamiya's voice made me start, and I looked up to see her holding a Styrofoam cup. I nodded my thanks and looked at it uncertainly. It appeared to be some sort of tea. Ms. Kamiya explained, "It should help you relax."

            A noncommittal grunt was all I offered in response. I sipped the tea cautiously, still focused on Kaoru. She was sleeping, an IV hooked into her arm, heart monitor blipping quietly beside her. She was fine. The doctors said she needed to recover. They gave her a bunch of antibiotics to help prevent pneumonia or anything else.

            She had woken already, the previous day. What was I doing at that time? Arguing with my uncle over the phone. He wanted to come pick me up and take me home. Yeah, right. Staying there with him and Enishi was the last thing I needed. I would rather sleep under a bridge somewhere.

            Mr. Kamiya had broken in and taken the phone from me. Whatever he said, Uncle Hiko decided to let me do what I felt I needed. Mr. Kamiya told me I was more than welcome to remain at their house, and he led me to Kaoru's room. Of course, she was sleeping again. It figured.

            I dropped my empty cup in the little trash bin beside me and leaned back. That plastic chair was about the most uncomfortable thing I had ever had opportunity to sit in. Even so, I found myself dozing off sometime that early Sunday afternoon.

            The sensation of a hand on my head made me open my eyes. Kaoru was still sleeping.

            "You need to get some sleep, Kenshin," Ms. Kamiya said.

            "I'd rather stay here," I replied, looking up at her. "When will they let her go home?"

            "Tomorrow, they're saying," she smiled. "She's fine, Kenshin."

            "I should have made her get off that ice," I looked back at Kaoru. She wasn't going anywhere. I kept telling myself that.

            Normally, I did not appreciate people petting my hair like Ms. Kamiya was doing at that moment. I leaned my face into my hand, resting my elbow on the arm of the plastic chair. Kaoru looked peaceful, a healthy flush to her face. If I could just wipe out the rest of her surroundings...

            "Kenshin."

            "I thought she was going to die," I told Ms. Kamiya. "I thought..."

            I leaned into the unexpected--but not unwanted--embrace. Ms. Kamiya knelt next to my chair and hugged me. It was odd, but I was glad for it. I rested my cheek on her shoulder and listened as she tried to comfort me.

            After that, she convinced me to go rest in the waiting lounge. I laid on a sofa, not far from Mr. Kamiya, and fell asleep.

^_^

Notes: Okay, so the whole thing is a little depressing. I tried for some cutesy scenes in there… but I'm going for a little revelation-type chapter, you know? Which means deep, dark past and all that.

Kenshin: *whimper* You almost made Kaoru drown! In ice cold water!

Misao: *whispering in Kaoru's ear, who is nodding frequently* Ready?

Kaoru: Yup! *Rushes forward and flings herself at Kenshin's chest* My _hero!_

Kenshin: Ack!

Misao: I could've done better.

Kaoru: *snuggle*

Kenshin: *blush*

Reviewers:

**Chiki: I blame all angsty content on lack of oxygen caused by excessive hugging. (kidding, of course) _Yearly trip to another country?! *ticking off places I've been* Mexico, Italy, and Canada for twenty minutes. We've been around in the US a bit, but… wow._**

**C-Chan & Eko: Goodness. That was hardly shonen ai (if you don't count the omake). It was a joke and a drunken Okita. Although, technically, there will be a _little shonen ai… kind of… it's not really… eh. I can't explain without ruining the surprise._**

**Keiko: Is Chibiusa one word? *shrug* Whatever. I haven't seen enough of her to really know… or care. And yay for French! It's a pretty sounding language. Huh. I took Spanish in high school.**

**Hana**** Himura: *snickers at the short joke***

**aku-chan: Nah, she didn't notice the mistletoe. I'm taking their relationship reeeeeeeeealllllllly slow. That's just me, though. I'm emotionally stunted, apparently, so things just take longer. And I've never been to CA. Hawaii… North and South Carolina, Florida… all those southeastern states. And _Iowa__! Have I been to __Iowa__!_**

**Crystal: Family reunions are always such fun.**

Kenshin: *glaring at Saitou from across the room*

Saitou: *amused but glaring back at Kenshin*

**Gypsy-chan: I've been told that cats like people who are quieter and more passive, thus their love of people who are trying to ignore them. And I dislike big, jumping dogs. I'm a little dog person. And yes, I will do New Years.**

**Chibi**** Assassin: Look! I quoted you! My beloved partner in crime. We're sick little—Gah! The song! It's playing! Shut it off!**

**Koneko-chan: Kaoru's the second nicest. The first nicest is a secret. For now.**

**Gemin16: I don't know who he's taking yet, so it's not fair if you do.**

**omochi: Goodness. Soujiro and Okita are pleased that they have a fan.**

Okita: Give her a ticket to our stand up show.

Soujiro: Kenshin's got a side act.

Kenshin: I do not.

**Fuuko****-san: Yes, you are a mushy person. That's fine. I'm not, so I'm trying not to gag at the perfect picture you've painted. But that's okay too. Anyway, have you ever seen Strawberry Eggs? It's so cutesy. It's the cutest, most sappy thing I've ever watched. Oddly, I love it. **

**Li: Eh heh… well, I'll make it a point to avoid your dog. My cousins have a black lab, which I modeled that dog after. Fortunately for me, Max knows that I don't tolerate paws on my shoulders. I'm better at wrestling than he is.**

**Saiyajin**** Goddess Nicole: *snicker* Mom thinks I'm weird for liking that place. Admittedly, I _felt weird the first time I walked in wearing my high school letter jacket. I am not a prep, honest! I'm just the occasionally spacey class spaz._**

**Vesca: I have read it. Did I review it? Note to self: go check story for reviewage. Yay fun Christmas stuff! Those plates with the reindeer are fun. My uncle has those, you know, with Blitzen all drunk, Comet on a… comet, Cupid with a bow and heart arrow, etc… they're cute.**

**Gochan: My gorilla is pleased that he has a fan. Eh. I wish I had that much fun this Christmas. Actually… this is the first year my cousins came over that I didn't have to play Barbies with them. Instead, we watched _Return to Me, and everyone made fun of me when they thought I was crying._**

Kenshin: But you were crying, Fitz-dono.

Fitz: *shifty eyes* No, I wasn't.

**tesuka-chan: *sigh* And I was so excited because there was snow on Christmas this year. I was born in the cold winter—I _like the cold winter! *chanting softly* I am not a freak. And what's with this pawing of Kenshin, hmm? Look what you did! He's blushing._**


	13. Happy New Year

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. So there too!**

**Notes: Happy New Years! A little late… yeah. But not too late for the people in _this story! Hah!_**

Kaoru: What's that for?

Kenshin: That is a spatula, Kaoru-dono.

Fitz: *sigh*

**Warnings: Kaoru cooking. Monopoly games.**

My Life

            "Kenshin, would you stop that?"

            "Hm?" I blinked at the girl who had complained so loudly. "Stop what?"

            "Stop watching me!" Kaoru waved a stirring spoon in my face. A large clump of whitish... whatever that was fell off the spoon to plop to the tile floor.

            "You just--"

            "I can cook without having you make sure I'm not going to break!" she declared. "Go wash those dishes and stop staring at me!"

            Staring at her? Was I staring at her? I hadn't even seen her. Well, for a few seconds I looked at her, but to be honest, by the time she yelled at me my mind was off in some other place. At the moment, I was trying to figure out what it was that I was smelling.

            "I think something's burning, Kaoru."

            "Huh?" she looked back to the oven. "Oh, my god! The pizza!"

            "When did you put in a pizza?" I wondered, watching her run around, frantically searching for an oven pad and, when she found it, opening the oven and yanking out the smoking pizza.

            The fire alarm started wailing.

            "What's going on in there?!" Ms. Kamiya bellowed from the study.

            "Nothing!" Kaoru shouted back. "Kenshin, the fire alarm!"

            "No kidding!" I had my hands over my ears to block out the horrible sound. "What do you want _me_ to do about it?"

            "Here!" she shoved a magazine into my hands.

            "Turn on the fan!" I looked at the magazine. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

            "Get the smoke away from the sensor!"

            For god's sake! So, I stood under the sensor, waving the magazine back and forth to help the smoke dissipate. Finally, the alarm stopped. I went back to the kitchen island, dropping the cooking magazine in front of Kaoru. She was poking at the pizza. It was black around the edges, the cheese cooked a solid brown.

            "That is inedible," I told her. The girl couldn't even make a frozen pizza. How hard was it? Oven on, pizza in, timer set, and ding! you're done. The fire alarm usually did not enter as a factor.

            "It was supposed to be lunch!" Kaoru retorted. "I'm sure it's just fine."

            I poked at the charred edges. It crumbled like so much dust. It was kind of cool, actually. I'd never seen pizza burnt to that extent.

            "Let's just make sandwiches," I suggested. "Unless you really want to choke that thing down."

            She whacked me upside the head for that one. I chuckled and went to prepare a more palatable lunch. Kaoru continued to stir that stuff and mutter under her breath. I brought her a turkey sandwich and sat down to eat my own.

            "Dad's picking up a movie for tonight," she said after she was finished sulking. That was one thing I could always count on. Kaoru never held a grudge. Lucky for me, or I certainly would not have been in her home that winter. Although 'lucky' was entirely subjective. I still had no idea what that stuff in the bowl was, and it was, if I was not mistaken, to be part of our New Year's Eve dinner.

^_^

            Misao joined us that night. Kaoru told me she was not happy that no one had called her while Kaoru was in the hospital. I pushed the blame for _that_ one as far from me as possible. After all, how was I supposed to know to call Misao? The girl wasn't a close friend of mine, and at the time I was a bit preoccupied. So sue me.

            She showed up around six. Just in time for dinner. We ordered out for pizza, actually. Whatever it was that Kaoru had been making did not turn out quite right (I avoided the kitchen for the rest of the week) so Mr. Kamiya sent out for two large pizzas.

            We spent two hours over a game of Monopoly. Actually, I went bankrupt before the first hour ended, and when my piece--the top hat--landed in jail for the sixth time that game, I gave up.

            "A life in prison doesn't seem too bad," I said, frustrated. "At least it's an easy existence."

            That earned some giggles from Misao and Ms. Kamiya and a solid thwack atop my skull from Mr. Kamiya. Well, I guess that's where Kaoru got that habit from. Apparently, he did not approve of my reasoning.

            So I spent the next hour or so doing various little things. At first, I watched the game. That got boring really fast, and I wandered around the room, studying the pictures on the upright piano and the shelves around the fireplace. That lasted all of five minutes, and I sat down by the gas fireplace, which was emitting a pleasant amount of heat, to wait for the end of the game. Twenty minutes later, I was on my back on the floor, watching the ceiling fan turn slowly over us. Me? Bored? Nooooooo.

            The next thing I noticed was a skinny girl sitting on my stomach. Misao shoved at my legs for a few seconds before I got the gist of things and bent my knees. She leaned back against my legs, perfectly comfortable sitting on me.

            "There's a chair over there," I pointed out, folding my arms behind my head to better see her.

            "But it's so far away from the fire," she retorted. Right. And apparently using my stomach and legs as a chair was more comfortable. I was feeling too lazy to make her move, so I didn't complain.

            "Did you lose?" I glanced over to the game, still ongoing. Misao shoved her lower lip out in a less than convincing pout.

            "I landed on Ms. Kamiya's Boardwalk," she grumbled. "She had a hotel on it."

            "Ah." Landing on Boardwalk repeatedly. The downfall of all great Monopoly players.

            "So," Misao grinned at me, stretching her arms over her head and legs out by _my_ head, somehow forcing more of her weight into my gut. I winced and frowned at her in protest. "You like your Christmas present?"

            "You knew about that?" I lifted my eyebrows at her.

            "Of _course_ I knew about it!" she stuck her tongue out at me in return. "It was my idea."

            "It was not!" Kaoru shouted.

            I glanced between them. It really was not worth it to find out the truth behind that one, and I did not particularly care, so I let it rest.

            "Look at you, lazy boy," Misao let her arms drop again, folding them behind her--that is to say, around my legs. It was a little awkward, feeling her arms hugging around the backs of my thighs, but that laziness factor won out. The warmth from the fire and the evening hour had me rather lethargic. I didn't make her move. She smirked at me. "You're not going to make it until midnight."

            "I'll be awake at midnight," I countered. Of course, a nap or two between--what time was it? almost eight?--eight and twelve would help a lot.

            Misao just giggled and squirmed a bit to get more comfortable. It didn't help _me_ at all in the area of comfort, but I'm sure she was thoroughly enjoying her new chair. She glanced over to the others, to check the status of the game, I guessed. She blinked and looked back at me. There was this odd look on her face... a smile, but not. It was weird, and kind of scary.

            "Whaaaaaat?" I complained. I didn't like her looking at me like that.

            She burst out into hysterical giggling. The action brought one of her feet kicking up into the air, and she held her stomach as if it hurt. I jerked to the side as her foot nearly landed on my face.

            "Watch it!" I warned.

            The laughter didn't stop.

            "Misao, you jerk!" Kaoru hollered from the side. And why was _she_ so angry?!

            Suddenly, it was a war zone. Kaoru came barreling in, and there were _two_ girls on me! I yelped in protest. Misao was one thing. But both of them got a little too heavy. Neither girl seemed to notice me in the midst of all this. Kaoru had an arm around Misao's neck, and Misao tickled her side in retaliation. Kaoru yipped and jumped away, landing on my chest, knocking the breath from me. All this time, I was trying to get away, of course. No sane person would just lay there while two girls wrestled on top of them.

            As luck would have it, Misao noticed me squirming away. She squealed loudly, making everyone wince.

            "Kenshin, don't _leave_ me!" she cried in true damsel in distress manner. She flung herself onto me again, clinging to my shirt like she would fall off the edge of the world if she let go. Kaoru, in turn, sat on Misao's back and smacked the girl's head lightly.

            "Misao!"

            Misao lifted her head and looked at me, grinning broadly. No doubt my face showed my bewilderment, as I was trying to figure out just what the hell was happening. Why had Misao started laughing like that? And what about it had made Kaoru go and tackle her like that? It was obviously some sort of private joke, and I had the feeling it had something to do with me. I was even more inclined to believe that when Misao winked at me.

            "Look at you! You're so cute!" she announced, then kissed my nose and rolled over, toppling Kaoru to the floor.

            "_Misao!!!!_"

            I crawled away cautiously, hoping they did not notice me leaving, and stopped behind Mr. Kamiya. He chuckled and patted my back lightly.

            "Don't worry about it, Kenshin," he advised, picking up the game pieces with Ms. Kamiya. "Kaoru and Misao have always been a little strange."

            He and Ms. Kamiya then exchanged knowing glances. Was I the only person without a clue as to what was happening? I sighed and handed Ms. Kamiya a stray hotel. Across the room, Misao and Kaoru were in a heap on the floor, panting and giggling and smacking each other occasionally. Weird girls.

^_^

            The movie for the night was _Lost in Space_. If I had thought sitting in front of the fireplace doing nothing was boring, then that was nothing compared to this movie. It was the most pointless show I had ever seen. Twenty minutes into it, I was asleep, safely alone in the arm chair. That is, no giggly girls climbing all over me. But it was strange... I kept having these odd little dreams, like I often did when I napped during the day. At one point, I was in the dorm. I turned around to address Sano, and he grinned at me and said:

            _"Danger, Will Robinson!"_

            I was so confused that I woke up right then and there. I blinked at the TV, taking in the robot and panicking people in bad costumes. Shaking my head, I recalled that I had not taken my meds that day and decided that was as good a time as any to take them. I got up and wandered up the stairs to the bathroom, trying to shake off the sleep. After getting the pills out and swallowing them, I put the bottle away and went back downstairs.

            It was just after ten, according to the grandfather clock in the corner. The movie looked to be winding to a close. It was about time.

            Kaoru's parents were on the love seat. Ms. Kamiya was leaning against Mr. Kamiya, her head on his shoulder while he stroked her hair lightly. It was kind of cute, actually. Enough to make a person's heart warm. I tried to imagine Uncle Hiko ever doing that with a woman, but it would not come. Not the man whose only condolences when Tomoe died were to pat my shoulder and tell me he would cook dinner that night.

            Kaoru and Misao were on the larger sofa, sharing the popcorn. That was how they had been before I fell asleep, anyway. At the moment, Kaoru was there, rattling the remaining kernels in the bowl lightly as she stared at the movie with glazed eyes. Misao was nowhere to be seen. She probably took a bathroom break.

            Bored, I just sighed and leaned against the door frame. If I went back to that chair, I would certainly fall asleep again.

            Kaoru looked up a minute later, blinking as if to clear her gaze, and she glanced over. I smiled wearily, and she smiled back at me and rolled her eyes. I chuckled. Okay, so I was not the only one who did not care for the movie.

            "Hey, Kenshin," Misao's voice made me jump, and I glanced down to see the girl standing next to me. "Look." She was pointing.

            I looked up. In the darkness, I could just make out a slight shadow in the doorway. I groaned. Damned mistletoe.

            "It's not even Christmas anym--" And that was as far as I got because Misao had two fists full of my hair, yanking my head down to her. That ticked me off. A little kiss was fine. Pulling on my hair to make me kiss her was uncalled for. It was not necessary, and it hurt. I tensed up unhappily. It took every ounce of willpower I possessed to keep from shoving her away.

            Finally, she let go. She did not even pause to look at me after that--just flounced off across the room to sit next to Kaoru again. I scowled after her.

            My hair was damp where she'd grabbed it. It was nice to know that she washed her hands after using the restroom at least. Kaoru wasn't looking at me anymore, her attention once again on the movie. That irritated me too.

            Grumbling wordlessly under my breath, I went back to the chair in the den and sat down to watch the rest of the movie.

^_^

            Kaoru left the room as the movie ended. It was a little strange, actually. All of the sudden, Misao was scrambling for the popcorn bowl, and Kaoru rushed out of the room.

            When you've got to go, you've got to go, I thought as I stared after her. Then, Misao dropped the bowl and chased after her, calling her name.

            "Kaoru! Kaoru, wait!"

            A few seconds later, _Ms. Kamiya_ went too! The lights went on, and I looked over to Mr. Kamiya. He sighed and got up to put away the movie.

            So something was wrong. Girls did not just run out of the room for no apparent reason. Okay, so I'd thought she had to answer the call of nature at first, but did it really take three people to go to the bathroom? And Misao had seemed a bit panicked.

            Obviously, the wisest course of action would have been to stay as far away from the problem as possible. I didn't know what was wrong. What if it was some girl thing? PMS or something? No thank you. Post Traumatic Stress? She did almost die a few days ago.

            "Kenshin."

            I was already halfway to the stairs. I didn't even notice I had been moving that way. Mr. Kamiya had spoken, so I looked back at him. He smiled.

            "Just don't assume anything," he suggested. "Trying to understand women will only get you into trouble."

            Uh... yeah. Whatever. I nodded and ran up the stairs.

            Kaoru was in her room with Misao and her mom. Once I got there, I hesitated. I was such a chicken. But... I could hear her crying. What was I supposed to do with a crying girl? And it sounded like Ms. Kamiya and Misao had it under control.

            "Kaoru, I'm so sorry!" Misao was apologizing for something or other. Well good. That meant none of this was my fault. "Don't cry! I didn't think! I shouldn't have done that!"

            I sighed and sat down outside her door. Sometimes it was better not knowing about these things, so I let their words fuzz out into the background. I wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my chin on my knees.

            It was awkward. Kaoru was in tears on New Years Eve, and it was not even eleven o'clock. So much for the whole party idea. While the night had been rather dull overall, it still beat the past few years.

            The previous year, Uncle Hiko had been short-tempered with me. We had just gotten my grades in the mail, and I had just barely passed Biology. He was not happy. I spent the week either at work or locked in my room, avoiding him. New Year's Eve, I spent on my bed, drifting in and out of sleep while listening to the radio. I missed the countdown.

            Before that, Uncle Hiko was just irritated because he had to watch me. Over a year had passed since I went to any parties or did anything illegal, and he didn't yet trust me. Come to think of it... I doubted he trusted me even at this point in my life.

            And my junior year in high school, I spent the holidays in the rehab clinic. Yes, celebrating the new year with a bunch of drug addicts had been a joy.

            "Kenshin?"

            "What? I wasn't doing anything!" Oooookaaaaaay. I hadn't meant to just blurt that out, but it was too late to do anything about it. I just looked up at Ms. Kamiya, my hand over my mouth--of course, _after_ I had said all that--my face feeling very warm. She smiled and shook her head.

            "What are you doing out here?" she asked.

            "Ummmmm..." What _was_ I doing? Nothing. Just sitting there feeling pretty stupid. "Nothing?"

            "Why don't you go in there?" Ms. Kamiya suggested. "I'm sure she would not mind having another friend with her right now."

            So, I went into Kaoru's room. Sort of. Well, I stood in the doorway for a long time, watching Kaoru and Misao. There was a tissue box on the bed next to Kaoru, and she took one and blew her nose loudly. That made me cringe, and I stepped forward, just as Misao climbed off the bed. The girl blinked at me, then glared at me. She looked more like she was pouting than angry, but I could not be certain.

            "This is all your fault!" she declared as she walked past me. _My_ fault! What did _I_ do?! My level of panic was up as I looked back at Kaoru, still sniffling and trying to wipe away the tears.

            "K-Kaoru?" Whoooo, that was bad. Way to sound confident, old boy. I walked toward her slowly.

            "Sorry," she apologized when I stopped next to her bed. She sniffed and wiped her nose again. "I'm ruining everything."

            The appropriate response would have been: 'Nooooo! You're not ruining anything!' What did I say? Nothing. I said absolutely nothing. I mentally kicked myself for being twice the idiot. I hated it when girls cried.

            I sat on the bed next to her, leaning back against the wall. Despite my aversion to the idea, I took the tissue from her hand, tossed it into the nearby trash bin, and handed her a clean one. I was going to have to wash my hands when this was done. She sobbed again and wiped at her eyes with the tissue.

            "I'm sorry," she said again. "I'm such a baby."

            "Everybody cries, Kaoru," I muttered. Hadn't I just been crying a few days before? Not that I'd say that.

            "I've never seen _you_ cry," she said, sniffing loudly. "Misao... Omasu... _Sanosuke_... but never you."

            Ohhhhh... I didn't want to go there. I sighed and leaned against her lightly. She got the idea and leaned back, resting her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, kind-of hugging her.

            "What makes _you_ cry?" she insisted.

            "Ahhh..." I cleared my throat uneasily. "Um... I, uh..."

            "That's okay," she broke in. I glanced down at her. She wiped at her face, drying her tears, and she smiled a bit. "You don't have to tell me, Kenshin."

            I frowned at her. She didn't mean that. She really wanted to know, or she never would have asked. Crud. I was going to have to tell her.

            "When I'm afraid," I said quickly. There. That wasn't so bad.

            "Huh?" she blinked at me, her eyes still wet and bloodshot. "But--"

            "When I'm really scared..." I bit my lip in embarrassment. I never told this to people. "When I'm frightened... then I cry."

            Kaoru smiled, a soft giggle escaping her. At least she could be amused by my stupid ways.

            "I've never seen you really afraid," she murmured.

            "That doesn't mean it's never happened," I countered. She was not going to make me explain it all. I refused to let that happen.

            "Ohhhh, really?" she smiled, shifting against me, then shaking her head and pulling away. She moved to the head of her bed, fluffing up the pillows there, and looking at me again. I knew that look. She wanted me to hug her again. Shoot.

            Silently protesting all this crying stuff, I followed her, leaning back against the pillows and trying to be patient while she made herself comfortable against my side.

            "I think that's really sweet, Kenshin," she said finally.

            "What? Crying?" I grimaced. "I don't like it."

            "But sometimes it can make you feel better," she pointed out.

            Sure, but if I ever felt the need to cry, then it was a situation that I might have been happier never having been in. I could count the times I'd actually broken down in the past eight or ten years on one hand. None of those times had been pleasant experiences. In fact, they had all been extraordinarily frightening or upsetting, and if I could forget about them, I would. Of course, this did not include how I'd gone off on Okita the previous week. That was something else entirely. And I had not really cried. Just... sniffled a bit.

            "I still don't like it," I grumbled.

            She giggled, and I held back a relieved sigh. I was even about to suggest that we head downstairs, but Kaoru spoke before I could.

            "Do you think... we could just sit here for awhile?" she asked quietly.

            "...Okay." I didn't care. But it seemed to me that she had a friend over, and Misao was the odd one out if we stayed in Kaoru's room. However, stay in the room we did. Kaoru didn't say anything, so I kept my mouth shut. There was no need to start a useless conversation after that.

            I dozed on and off while we sat there on Kaoru's bed. I really was more of a morning person, and these late nights just killed me. By keeping busy, I was fine, but just sitting there... not a chance.

            Later, I had a vague impression of someone speaking to me. A girl, whispering.

            _"Happy New Year, Kenshin."_

            But it could have been another strange part of a dream, so I let it be. I just shifted a bit, getting my head onto the pillow. I mumbled some sort of reply, and I declared it time for bed.

^_^

            _"Kaoru?"___

_            I couldn't find her. The place was unfamiliar, filled with doors and rooms. I wandered through the rooms, glancing at the people in them and continuing on when I did not find the one I was searching for. Kaoru had been crying, and I was supposed to go sit next to her._

_            "Kaoru?" I glanced in a room. Sano looked up from a deck of cards and grinned at me. He flung the cards out, one by one, shooting them around the room messily. I shook my head and left the room._

_            Pausing by the next door, I looked in. Misao waved at me and pranced around suggestively. I quickly left that room._

_            Okita was waiting in the doorway of the next room. He smirked at me as I passed, and Soujiro poked his head over Okita's shoulder, waving around a piece of mistletoe. I started running._

_            "Kaoru?"_

_            I ducked into a room down the hall, only to stop two steps into it. Bleached blond hair and a manic smile greeted me. Enishi started walking toward me, and I ran out again._

_            This made no sense! Why were all these people here? I thought I could go back to that first room. Sano might know where Kaoru was. But to get there, I had to go past Okita, Soujiro, and Misao. So I went the other way. Up some stairs and out into a huge room._

_            Kaoru was waiting there for me. She wasn't crying though. She was smiling--laughing even._

_            "Kenshin, you weirdo!" she announced. Was this the thanks I got for being worried about her? How did that work?_

_            Her expression changed to alarm, and I stepped toward her._

_            "What's wrong?"_

_            She yelped and slammed her hands out into my shoulders. Shocked, I could do little more than fall back... into the stair well. I stumbled and fell..._

            "_Oooooof__!_" Falling off a bed was definitely not on my list of favorite ways to wake up in the morning. For one, it was rather disorienting. More importantly, it hurt. "Ow!"

            "Oh, my god! Kenshin!" Kaoru looked over the edge of the bed at me. "Are you okay?"

            I squinted up at her, trying to catch my breath and figure out what the hell had happened.

            "I didn't expect to see you still here," she admitted, climbing off the bed to help me up. I was still wheezing as she pulled me to my feet, and I coughed a few times before I fully recovered.

            "So you pushed me off the bed?!" I gasped.

            "I'm so sorry!" she grabbed my face at that point, pulling me around to look into my face.

            "It's fine," I assured her. My words sounded funny with how she held my face, but I attempted to smile nonetheless, looking into her anxious eyes. I coughed again lightly and nodded to get my head away from her. "I'm fine. I'll just remember to stay on the side by the wall next time."

            Although she pushed me so hard that if it happened that way, she might have given me a concussion. I had to chuckle at that thought. Kaoru blinked at me, probably confused by my laughter, then giggled with me.

            "I really am sorry," she tried again.

            "And it's really okay," I replied, rubbing my side tenderly. It was no small distance between the top of Kaoru's bed and the floor.

            She was still giggling. I glanced at her curiously.

            "What's so funny?"

            "You... your hair," she reached up and ruffled my bangs lightly. "It's all over the place."

            "Is that all?" I glanced at the clock, wondering what time it was. It was ten-twenty. Ten-twenty... that seemed really late for some reason.

            My stomach did interesting little flip-flops then.

            "Kenshin, you just went really pale," Kaoru said worriedly.

            "I'm supposed to be at work in ten minutes!" I said, dashing out of the room. "I need a phone! I need the number!" What the hell was the store's number anyway? "Kaoru, where's the phone book?!"

            She just laughed at my panic and ran off to get the book for me.

^_^

End Notes: Thought you all would like a little lightness. And _I wanted a little lightness—which actually had more to do with it._

Kenshin: *confused* Why was Kaoru-dono crying?

Kaoru: If you don't know, then I'm not going to tell you!

Fitz: *rolls eyes* I hate it when girls say that.

Kenshin: What did I do?!

Next chapter is in the works. It's going to be a roller coaster ride.

Yahiko: WOOOHOOOO!

Fitz: ^_^;; Not that kind of roller coaster, Yahiko.

To the Reviewers:

**Val: Not a huge change… not visible, anyway. They're working on it.**

**Gochan: Close to the anniversary. Not exact. That's yet coming. And I'm still working on Enishi. And isn't it obvious? Kaoru would kick Kenshin's ass.**

**Hana**** Himura: *snicker* I'm trying to picture that…**

Kenshin: *out of the blue* Kaoru-dono! Would you bear my child?!

Kaoru: *passes out*

Kenshin: *pokes unconscious girl* Kaoru-dono?

Kaoru: *wakes up, pounces Kenshin, and drags oro-ing rurouni to bed*

Eeheeheehee!

**Fabi-chan: *twitching* Sorry. Not that much of a Kaoru fan myself. Brave Kaoru, hm? Sure. Why not? I can't answer that question, though. That just wouldn't be fair.**

**omochi: Almost? What do you _mean 'almost'? *points to Kenshin, who his hiding under the covers in bed*_**

Kenshin: I'm never coming out again!

**Crystal: Saitou… I can try. We'll see. Soujiro is strictly a 'Kaoru's family events' character, though… uh, and a cameo in the dreams.**

**C-chan & Eko: I hope this chapter is good, too. Never done the G-wing thing myself. Too many close calls with an obsessive fan. *shudder* And yaoi can be scary… but if it's written well… yeah.**

**Saiyajin**** Goddess Nicole: Thanks for the random bit of information there. I knew who wrote that, but I could not, for the life of me, come up with her name (and Fitz is too lazy to go look it up). Devil store, hm? *snicker***

**Chiki: This is hardly fair, as you actually reviewed before some of these other people, but I lost track of it. Sorry. Oh, and a guess about Tomoe! Well, you're wrong, but that's okay. As for Kenshin's background, I haven't really addressed it. I guess you could consider him of Japanese heritage, but with Kaoru being Catholic, Kamatari being Jewish… that gets messy. I'm calling it 'American' because that can be just about anything.**

**Vesca: I will explain the dream sequence… when I explain it. And ice and snow are great! *goes to build a snowman in nonexistent snow* Bummer. **

**Chibi**** Assassin: *sigh* Yeah, you know… me and my weird sense of humor. And if you want a lolly… *points at bowl on your countertop that contains miscellaneous bits of candy* The dum-dums in there can't be _that old! And if they are… um… throw them out?_**

**Ro-chan: Woooowwwwww! Lookie there! A fan art! And it's so cute! A friend of mine has a digital camera, and I'm going to post a picture of that gorilla. I like your rendition, but the actual stuffed animal is more… well, Chibi Assassin calls it 'cartoony.' Oh, but… Neato!**

**marstanuki: *snicker* Not much of a E/K fan myself. But then, I'm not much of a Kaoru fan period, so what can I say?**

**Gypsy-chan: I liked the Carousel, even if I did have a cold when we went, and all the food tasted like cardboard. It was still cool. Pennsylvania! My state of choice. Never been there.**

**Fuuko****-san: No offense intended on the 'mushy' thing. But Strawberry Eggs is a series that is just being released in the US. I think the fourth tape…DVD… whatever…is being released in February. I'm impatiently awaiting it's release.**

**Miyu**** Sakura: I'm glad you like it. I'm a winter baby myself (technically late fall, but let's not go into specifics). For the first time in a couple years, we actually had snow for Christmas. I was leaping for joy.**


	14. Engaging conversations

Disclaimer: Lazy Fitz does not want to write one of these. Go look in another chapter for it.

Notes: Wellllll, it's taken me forever to figure out how to log in again. *smacks forehead* I'm such a dummy sometimes. Anyway, here's the next chapter.

Warnings: Original character sighting, bowling, movies with Leonardo Dicaprio in them.

Onward!!

My Life

            I went home the following Saturday after my shift ended. That meant I had another whole week before I went back to school, and my temp job ended that Saturday. An entire week. I was going to hurt someone before it was over. At least Enishi was gone.

            "Don't you have a job to go to?" Uncle Hiko's voice actually made some things in the house rattle when he bellowed at me like that. Never was I fooled into believing that could only happen in television. When I was little, I used to think that if he got loud enough, he could break the windows like in the cartoons. Of course, that was impossible.

            "No!" I shouted back. I was wracking my brain for something to do that day. "Saturday was my last day!"

            I was considering going to the library that afternoon when the phone rang. I picked it up off the first ring.

            "Hello?"

            "Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and are you doing anything today?"

            I grinned.

            "Other than sitting here staring at the wall all day," I replied. "How was Pennsylvania, Sano?"

            "Her folks acted like I was the scum of the earth, but other than that it was great," he laughed. "Megumi and I are going to a movie. You want to come?"

            "What're you going to see?"

            "Um... Hold on, let me check," he said quickly. "Megumi!"

            They muttered back and forth, too soft for me to hear, but I waited patiently. I honestly didn't care what we went to see. As long as it got me out of the house.

            "_Catch Me If You Can_," Sano said abruptly.

            "When?"

            "Seven o'clock showing."

            Eh?! That late? Okay... that left the rest of the day still empty. Damn.

            "How about earlier?" Sano asked. Oh, thank god.

            "An earlier showing?"

            "No, what are you doing earlier?" he chuckled.

            "Nothing."

            "Then get yourself dolled up. You're going out with Megumi and me," he ordered. "Try to look like a man. We're bringing along another girl."

            He _what?!_

            "Sano! I don't want you setting me up--"

            "She's great," he insisted, not listening to my complaints. "Nice, funny, brown hair and blue eyes, and a great body--_Ow!_"

            Megumi came on the line then.

            "Don't listen to him, Kenshin," she suggested. "She's a wonderful young woman. I think you'll like her."

            "Megumi!" I was whining, but who wouldn't? They were setting me up on a blind date! "I really wish you wouldn't--"

            "Hey! Give that back, you pushy broad! _OW!_" Sano was laughing, and there was some scuffling over the phone. I scowled.

            "Sano, you know I don't like this idea." If he even heard me...

            "Live a little, Kenshin!" Yes, he heard me. "We're meeting her at the restaurant at four. She's a little older than you--one of Megumi's friends--and taller... but you'll like her. But I've got some news first, which I want to tell you before we meet the girl, so we're on our way over now. That okay?"

            _"Sanosuke Sagara! Don't think that by--"_ The rest was a mess of laughter. Those two. I would never understand them.

            "We'll be there in twenty minutes," Sano informed me, then hung up the phone.

            I looked at the phone in my hand, then shook my head and hung it up. They were like a newly married couple sometimes. Fighting like crazy one minute and happily groping each other the next. They were almost as confusing as Kaoru and Misao.

^_^

            We sat in the food court at the Maplewood mall, talking about our vacations thus far. I told them about Christmas at Kaoru's house, and Sano and Megumi told me about their time at her parents' house. It seemed rather dull, actually, compared to my time. That was not necessarily a bad thing.

            "And my parents don't hate him," Megumi explained, picking at her fried rice and vegetables. Sano made some choking sounds and stuck his finger against his temple, pretending to shoot himself. I smirked, and Megumi smacked his arm. "They don't! They think he's... unique."

            "Is _that_ what we're calling it these days?" Sano laughed. I had to chuckle as well.

            "And Sanosuke took me to this nice restaurant in the city," Megumi smiled, about as lovey dovey as a girl could look. I glanced at Sano, and he grinned, as happy as can be. I sighed and picked up my pop. Those two... I always felt so out of place with them when they were like that. Don't get me wrong! I was happy for Sano, that he was dating a girl he liked, but did they have to act like that around me?

            "And in front of all the other guests..." Megumi held out her left hand. I looked at it curiously, straw still in my mouth, no doubt looking like an idiot. Oh well. "He asked me to marry him."

            I choked on my pop. Quickly setting it down, I grabbed a napkin to hold over my mouth while I coughed. I stared at Sano and Megumi in shock. _Marriage?!_ One of my friends was getting _married?_ That was not possible. I was too young for that.

            No, Sano was almost twenty-two. And Megumi was twenty. Sometimes I forgot that they were both a bit older than I.

            "Come on, Kenshin," Sano patted my back, just making me cough harder. I pushed his hand away. "Megumi's not _that_ bad a choice."

            "Sanosuke!"

            "S-stop!" I managed to gasp out, still coughing every few seconds. "Y-you're getting... you're getting _married?_ When?"

            "Not until I graduate," Sano explained with a grin. "Then, I'll go to work, and Megumi'll finish her degree."

            "Summer of next year," Megumi clarified.

            "You've got to be my best man, Kenshin," Sano informed me. Me? A groomsman?

            "What about Katsu?" I asked weakly, drinking more of my pop to soothe my sore throat--which had been caused by my pop. "Won't he feel like he's been snubbed?"

            "I already talked to him," Sano shook his head and smirked. "He's going to be the photographer for the wedding."

            "For a small fee, of course," Megumi added.

            "But it's cheaper than hiring someone else," Sano concluded. "I'm gonna get Yahiko to be the ring-bearer. And Megumi's got a couple little cousins who'll be the flower girls."

            They went on. And on... and on. It seemed that they had already spent a great deal of time planning this already. When I asked about that, Megumi just said that her mother had always envisioned the dream wedding for her only daughter. From what I gathered, there were far more people on Megumi's side of the family, and most of them lived on the coast. In addition, her family was far from poor--as most of it consisted of doctors, lawyers, and a few politicians (used car salesmen). Megumi decided she liked Minnesota, for whatever reason, and wanted to be married in the northernmost state of the US. That made it nice for the rest of us peons, who could not afford to fly out to Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Boston, or whatever costal place where her family was concentrated.

            After listening to twenty minutes of explanations, bouncing back and forth between Sano and Megumi, I stopped them. It was an information overload, and I was on vacation.

            Then, of course, Megumi wanted to check out the dress situation. There was a David's Bridal in the mall--which, come to think of it, was probably why they chose to go to that out-of-the-way mall in the first place--so we went there. I dropped into a chair in the corner while Megumi moved from mannequin to mannequin, admiring the wedding gowns and bridesmaid dresses. She pointed at one such dress.

            "This color is gorgeous!"

            It was a pale pink. Almost skin tone. All of the bridesmaids would look like the walking dead in that color, but I didn't say so. Sano was either color blind or smart enough not to point this out as well. He just grinned and agreed with her.

            After awhile, Sano sat in the chair next to mine and offered a goofy-looking smile.

            "So? What do you think?" he asked.

            "I think it's great, Sano," I returned his smile. "I'm happy for you. And Megumi."

            "You don't think we're rushing this, then?" he seemed worried, and I shook my head.

            "You've known each other for over a year," I said with a shrug. "Two and a half years by the time you make your vows. Just, um... one thing."

            "Hn?"

            "Do I have to give a toast?"

            He just laughed at the question and clapped a hand against my shoulder. I had been serious. But he did not answer me that day. Instead, he stood and nodded toward Megumi.

            "I should go retrieve her before she goes too crazy."

            "Maybe... one bit of advice on all this dress shopping." I was shaky on this subject. After all, I was not really the expert on dresses, but I had gone along when my sister started shopping for her own wedding and bridesmaids gowns. I recalled a few details. "You should ask Katsu first, but Megumi might want to consider consulting her photographer before picking out all the dresses."

            "What do you mean?"

            "Well, you know," I lifted my eyebrows at him. "All of us... _artsy_ types know this. The wedding will last for a day. But the pictures..."

            "Oooohhhhhh," he nodded in understanding, then sighed at my reference. "You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

            "If I look gay, I might as well act it once in awhile, don't you think?" I grinned.

            He groaned and pointed a warning finger at me.

            "One night, when you're sleeping," he threatened. "I'm going to come in and chop all that hair off."

            "As long as you do a good job of it," I shot back. "I don't want some hack hair cut."

            "Funny, Kenshin," he rolled his eyes, walking back to Megumi. "You're hilarious."

            I shrugged and leaned back again. We still had another hour before we were supposed to meet that girl. Sano got Megumi out of the bridal shop, but he could not keep her out of the department stores. Women and clothes shopping. I never understood it. Sano and I had a brief reprieve when we ducked into an electronics shop for about ten minutes. But when Megumi discovered where we had gone, she came and pulled us out again. Literally.

^_^

            We met the girl at a place called Houlihan's. It was an unremarkable place, but for those prices. A quick glance through the menu informed me that I could not afford much more than a bowl of soup.

            "She's a little late," Megumi glanced at her watch. "Or we're a little early..."

            Sano leaned across the table and winked at me.

            "Great body," he whispered.

            "Sanosuke!" Megumi smacked him over the head. "There's more to a woman than looks."

            He looked back at her in bold challenge. I had a bad feeling about that.

            "I was _talking_ about Kenshin!"

            "Sano!"

            "Sanosuke!"

            He flinched under the both of us yelling at him. I sighed and leaned on the table lightly, absently stirring my ice water with a straw.

            "Not that I'm not happy for you guys and all," I mumbled. "But just because you two are getting married doesn't mean that I want to start looking for prospective wives. Why'd you set this up?"

            "You're always such a loner, Kenshin," Megumi said with a little smile. "That's not healthy."

            "Blind dates are not healthy."

            "That was a pathetic comeback, Kenshin," Sano snickered.

            "I'm sorry!" I glared at him. "I still don't like it."

            "Lighten up, Kenshin," Sano said. "It's just a date. If you don't like her, then you don't have to call her."

            I frowned at him unhappily. Megumi smiled then and lifted her hand.

            "Over here, honey!"

            Megumi stood to meet the girl. The woman squealed and rushed forward to hug Megumi, so all I saw of her at first was some shoulder-length brown hair and her black leather jacket and blue jeans. She was thin--and taller than I was. Other than that--

            "Ohhhhh, this is so _exciting!_" she laughed. "It's not fair! I'm older than you, Megumi!"

            Older than Megumi, hm? Great. The women pulled apart, and I finally got a glimpse of her face.

            I _knew_ her. Sometimes the world was too small. Why did this always happen to me?

            I wanted to hide, but there was not a lot to hide behind in a restaurant booth. So all I did was sink down in my seat, lean forward on my elbows on the table, and hide my eyes with my hands.

            "I thought you were bringing a guy along," the woman observed.

            "This is him," Megumi replied.

            "Oh! Whoopsie! I'm so sorry!" The bench cushion whooshed softly as she sat on it. She had not changed one bit. Still a cheerful ditz. "Hi! My name is--"

            "Jordan," I cut her off. I didn't want to look at her, so I didn't move. "I know."

            "You know her?" Sano asked, startled. His hands loomed into my vision then. He grabbed my arms and pulled them down, despite my irritated growl. I glared at him, then yanked my hands away and sat back with a huff. I looked at the girl next to me.

            Jordan's blue eyes were wide with surprise. She smiled, but anyone could tell it was forced.

            "You grew your hair out, Kenny," she murmured.

            She had been my sister's best friend. In fact, she was going to be Tomoe's maid of honor, back when they were both going on twenty-one. Which, by the way, placed Jordan at almost twenty-five--five years older than me. Wasn't there a law about that? Nah. I would have had to be under eighteen.

            "Hey," Sano laughed nervously as the silence dragged on. "This _is_ a coincidence. How do you guys know each other?"

            This was going to be a very long day. It was not that I disliked Jordan. She was nice enough. But circumstances being what they were... well, it was uncomfortable. I was not happy to see her. It brought back some not very happy memories that I was content to ignore.

            "I knew Kenny's sister," Jordan explained.

            "You have a sister?" Megumi asked blankly.

            "Had," I said icily, glaring at the table.

            "...Oh."

            "We were friends," Jordan continued. "Until she died... how long ago--"

            "Four years," I stated. I was being a jerk, but I didn't care. Maybe they would just make me leave, and I could get away from this.

            After a brief silence, she continued.

            "I tried to keep contact for awhile," she said slowly. "But Kenny was never around."

            Well, I was busy. School, drugs, psychiatrists. I could hardly be expected to take time out of my schedule to talk with a girl who called me Kenny and treated me like her best friend's baby brother--'baby' being the key word there.

            "You look good, Kenny," Jordan said. She did not sound very sure of herself.

            "Thanks," I grumbled. "You look good, too. Great." Probably. I wasn't looking at her. She sounded happy enough.

            There was another long, uncomfortable silence. This was just great. Of _course_ I would be set up on a blind date with the girl I could only associate with Tomoe's death. Why would it be any other way?

            I saw something shift out of the corner of my eye, and I lifted my head enough to see that Sano had moved his hand to hold Megumi's. He was comforting her. Because I was being an ass and upsetting the afternoon when it was supposed to be a happy day.

            I sighed.

            "I'm sorry," I apologized quietly. "You, um... caught me by surprise. You were talking about the wedding..."

            Again, one of those awkward silences... then:

            "Kenshin, if you're uncomfortable with this," Megumi started.

            "No," I interrupted quickly, glancing at Jordan, then back to the table. I still had a hard time looking at her. "No. It's fine. If--if Jordan doesn't mind me being here... then I would--" God, but this was hard to say. This had to be the biggest lie I had spoken in the past two years. "I'd like to stay. Let's just order something... and... what are we doing after this?"

            "We were going to do some more dress shopping," Megumi replied.

            My flinch was visible on that one, I was sure. I suddenly couldn't speak, so I just nodded in acknowledgment. Of course, only Jordan knew why I didn't like the idea, but she was the only person in the group that I could not address.

            "You know..." Jordan spoke up then. "We've got plenty of time to look for dresses. Let's do something that everyone will like."

            "_I'd_ really like to stop in a bar somewhere," Sano grunted.

            Ouch. He was mad. I didn't blame him. I was a breath away from begging them to take me home. This afternoon was turning into something awful.

            "How about bowling?" Jordan suggested abruptly.

            I blinked. _Bowling?_

            "_Bowling?_" Sano echoed my skeptical thoughts.

            "Everybody likes to bowl," Jordan said brightly. "Megumi?"

            "Oh! Uh... sure!" Megumi laughed, sounding very uneasy. "That sounds... um..."

            "Good," I offered to save us all from a bad situation. Misao, with her theater major, would have been proud of me. I lifted my head finally and smiled as sincerely as I could manage. "Let's do that. And then we can go to the movie..." And I looked at Jordan. Right at her, forcing myself not to glance away immediately. "Right?"

            She smiled, looking more grateful than I'd ever seen anyone look. I was fixing this. Yay to me.

            We looked at Sano and Megumi, who seemed skeptical about the whole thing. But they finally agreed that it was a good idea. Our waiter came back, looking uncomfortable after having been sent away twice, apparently. I didn't order anything, my appetite long since destroyed. More Sprite--the drink for the churning stomach.

^_^

            The day went smoothly after that. I still avoided Jordan like the plague, and my bowling score was pathetic, but we put on a pretty good show. The movie was interesting enough, but it was long. We said good-bye to Jordan in the parking lot outside the movie theater, and it was over. I followed Megumi and Sano to the car where, as I should have predicted, we had a final confrontation over the subject.

            "Kenshin, I'm really sorry about all this," Megumi said as the car warmed up.

            "Don't worry about it, Megumi," I tried to wave it off. "You couldn't have known." Except if she had been willing to tell that girl my name, or vice versa. Because, quite honestly, how many Kenshin's were there in Minnesota? Or Jordan's for that matter? Neither name was very common.

            "I really feel awful," she insisted. "She told me about the accident, and what happened that you--"

            "Megumi," I interrupted. "I'll get over it. It's your wedding, and you do what you want. Just... no more blind dates, okay?"

            "Agreed," she reached back over the headrest, fingers waggling in my face. I stared at her hand for a minute, then figured out what she was doing and clasped her hand lightly. "It's a deal, then."

            "I'll be nice to Jordan, and you leave me alone when it comes to dating," I confirmed.

            She squeezed my fingers, then pulled her hand back and put the car into gear.

            "Let's go," she said. "I'd like to get home before midnight."

            I smiled and leaned back, relieved that the day was over. Sano looked over his shoulder at me.

            "It's really too bad, though," he said sadly.

            "What?" I frowned at him.

            "She _does_ have a great body."

            "_Sanosuke!_"

            "_Ow!_"

            I had to laugh. Trust Sano to come up with something to lighten any situation.

^_^

Notes: This was not bad. The chapter originally held more, but I decided to split it into two. Sorry for the original character. She's not going to make frequent appearances, but for lack of a better character to stick in there, I made one up.

The next chapter will be a little dark. Prepare to learn a little about Kenshin's past.

Reviewers: You all are so wonderful.

**Crystal: *whistles innocently***

**C-Chan & Eko: Goodness, C-Chan, but you are giddy. And thank you, Eko. I'm glad you liked that chapter. I hope this one wasn't too depressing.**

**Chiki: *smirk* I enjoy your reviews. Eh… I'm having difficulty with ff.net myself lately. Can't get to the 'anime' list. I have to sneak through the login and find functions to get to the sections I want. *sigh***

**Koneko-chan: Imagine a person on his back, knees bent, feet flat on the floor. Then place a skinny girl on his stomach, using his legs as a back rest. That's what I was going for. And they're not that loose… they're nineteen years old. Hardly children. Besides, it's not like they were making out in the corner or anything.**

Kenshin: *glares at Misao*

Misao: *grins mischievously*

**Gemin16: I am not so certain about Valentine's Day. Personally, I can't stand the holiday, for what it's worth. It's a saint's day gone commercial. That's just me, though. I stand back and let everyone else enjoy it so as not to be the party pooper.**

**omochi: Yeah, that mistletoe likes to be forgotten, only to be remembered at random intervals. Strange thing, that.**

**marstanuki: Have to agree with you on the Megumi thing… although she comes in handy at times, no? *snicker***

**Hana Himura: Of course he didn't. He's only a guy, after all (no offense to guys out there). And no one clued him in.**

Kenshin: Clued me in on what?

See?

**Gochan: I took that 'waving the magazine under the fire alarm' from personal experience. Not necessarily from my own cooking, mind you. School will come when I'm ready. And I've already got a plan for those tickets.**

**Miyu Sakura: Misao was just being the weasel we all know she is. Sneaky. And as for the Freud references… I'm afraid.**

**Gypsy-chan: She did 'whack' Misao. That was the little war they had on top of Kenshin. You missed what Kenshin missed if you don't know why Kaoru was crying. Check out some of the other reviews. You'll get it.**

**aku-chan: They go to the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities campus. (That is Minneapolis more than St. Paul. Fitz has only been to the St. Paul campus once.)**

**MinaXP: *laughing hysterically* Whoooooo! Oh, Chibi Assassin and you would get along just fine. Anti-Kaoru, are we? Well then, I will spare you the pain for this one. While romance is not the focus of the story, I am keeping with the traditional couplings.**

**Fuuko-san**: How dense? Well… he sinks in water.

**Ro-Chan**: That gorilla may take some time… but I'm working on it. ^_~


	15. Breakdown

**Disclaimer: This is a disclaimer, rider, proviso, qualification, repudiation, provision, condition, stipulation, requirement, criterion, clause, specification, prerequisite, denial stating that I own nothing involving Rurouni Kenshin.**

Kenshin: Fitz-dono is having fun with the thesaurus.

Fitz: *snicker*

**Notes: Oooookay. Now, we have a rather serious chapter addressing a rather serious topic. That is, the death of an important person. I hope it's okay.**

**Warnings: Death, depression, violence—domestic and not—and bridesmaids dresses.**

My Life

            There was always this strange feeling of detachment around that time of year. Running into Jordan just set the month off to a bad start. I had another dream that night. It wasn't a _bad_ dream. It was just... there. I woke up feeling this sudden urge to cry, which I did not do for fear of Uncle Hiko hearing me.

            The rest of the day was odd. I couldn't figure out what to do with myself. Uncle Hiko chased me downstairs, telling me to 'work it off' like he always did. It was his solution to everything. I ended up putting a video in and sitting on the couch to watch it. It was _Mrs. Doubtfire_. I fell asleep halfway through it.

            The credits were playing when Uncle Hiko shouted down. I grumbled in complaint and opened my eyes.

            "Pick up the phone down there, brat!"

            _I love you too, Uncle Hiko_, I thought morbidly, reaching over my head for the phone on the table by the couch. I fumbled a few times, getting it on the third try. Sighing impatiently, I put the phone to my ear.

            "I got it," I said. I knew Uncle Hiko was listening. Usually, I shouted, but this worked sometimes. The phone clicked in my ear, signaling his departure. "Yeah?"

            "Kenshin?" It was Kaoru. God, I didn't want to talk to her. Too much cheer. It made me want to hurt someone. "Kenshin... I just talked to Sanosuke..."

            She didn't sound overly happy. That was odd. If she just spoke with Sano, then wouldn't she be overjoyed for one of her friends getting married?

            "And Megumi..."

            Crying even. That's what she had been doing. Okay then. Girls get excited, they start to cry. Fine. So she was happy.

            "Megumi told me about... about Jordan--"

            _Goddamn her!_

            "A-and..." she was crying still.

            "Stop it," I snapped at her. I didn't want her crying. How could Megumi have done this?! Of all people, I would have thought I did not have to tell that woman to keep her mouth shut. Now Kaoru knew. Then it would be Misao, who would tell Aoshi and everyone else with an open ear in this world!

            "Kenshin, i-if you ever want to-to talk about it--"

            "I don't!" I interrupted her, too furious for words. Something just... snapped. The phone went flying, making this awful sound when the cord was ripped out of the wall. Everything was spinning around me, but I wasn't moving. Uncle Hiko shouted, probably having heard me breaking the phone.

            "What the hell is going on down here?!" he was in the basement with me before I realized he was coming downstairs.

            Nothing was clear after that. I remember shouting. Uncle Hiko yelled right back. Then... a lot of movement. I might have tried to hit Uncle Hiko, which wouldn't hurt him even if I did connect. The man was easily twice my size. Whatever happened, it ended with me on the floor, coughing, blood in my throat.

            _Son of a bitch!_

            If not for my uncle standing over me, I probably would have stayed as I was, curled around the hurt. The fact that he was still there was why I got up. My chest was on fire with the familiar sensation of broken ribs, and I reached for the arm of the couch to steady myself.

            That blood bothered me. Really, it was never a good thing when a person started coughing up blood. It just was not normal. A damp cloth appeared in front of me, and took it, holding it over my mouth until I was finished coughing. My vision was swimming in and out of focus... a little odd. That, too, was not a good sign.

            "Sit down, idiot," Uncle Hiko growled at me. His hands were in my shirt, pulling me away from the couch. Who was the idiot? If I needed to sit, why was he pulling me away from the only chair around?

            "I hate you," I informed him, stumbling as he found better grip in my sweatshirt and hauled me up the stairs.

            "No, you don't."

            "You're the world's worst father," I made a grab for him, and I managed to find a hold on the front of his shirt. It left a bloody smear on the white tee shirt. I hoped that stained.

            "That's because I'm not your father, moron," he retorted. "Your father is dead."

            "I _know_ he's dead!" _Asshole!_ That was not called for. I wanted him to let go, but no amount of squirming would get me loose. "Let go!"

            "What's your problem, kid?" he dragged me down the hall toward the rooms. "Do you want me to call the police on you?"

            "Then you can explain how I broke my ribs!" I replied. He was _not_ pulling this shit on me!

            We reached my room, and he shoved me into it. I had a grip on his shirt still, but I released it. I didn't want to be near him anyway.

            "If you hadn't jumped me, that wouldn't have happened!" he pointed at the bed. "Sit down!"

            I hated doing what he wanted, but when I felt as bad as I did, there was not much else I could do. He glared at me while I sat on the bed, and I scowled right back. No way was I giving in on this.

            "What's wrong with you?" Uncle Hiko demanded. He was angry, but so was I. He grabbed the hem of my shirt and yanked it up, over my head. "Your sister was never this difficult."

            "I'm sorry," I said sarcastically, shuddering in the cool room. "Maybe if I pray really hard, God'll let me switch places. Then I'll be dead, and you'll have a perfect niece to dote on."

            "Well, at least she would not have gone and mixed herself up in so many nasty habits!" Uncle Hiko replied sharply.

            _Go to hell!_ I shoved his hands away from me. I didn't care that he was assessing the damage. I knew perfectly well what was wrong.

            "Get away from me!" I was shouting again, but I didn't care. Rolling away, I landed on the floor, putting the bed between us. He scowled at me, and I was a hair's breadth away from going homicidal on him--so I thought at the time. "Get out of my room!"

            He grunted and stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him. And fuck him anyway. Life just wasn't fair. Everybody knew that. Life under Uncle Hiko's roof was a prime example. I had to live with him, and he had to put up with me. What was not to hate?

^_^

            The week wasn't over yet. In fact, it was just beginning. Tuesday came, and I was not ready to leave my room yet. The need for a bathroom drove me out for a few minutes, and I washed my face and brushed my teeth while I was there. Then, I went right back to my room.

            I couldn't lock the door. It used to lock, but a couple years earlier, Uncle Hiko had ripped the door knob out and replaced it with one that wouldn't. Trust was not something that came easily between us. At this point, he trusted me about as far as he could throw me. Actually, he could throw me pretty far if he tried, so that said something, I guess. In return, I trusted him to give me a safe home. That flew straight out the window when he made me cough up blood.

            The last thing he'd said got to me, though I tried not to let it. I knew we were both angry, but... did he mean it? Sometimes--a lot of times--I wished I could switch places. I wished Tomoe could have survived, and I died. No, I was not suicidal. That wouldn't bring her back. But life would have been so much better for everyone involved if our places had been flipped.

            That much was obvious by Uncle Hiko's attitude. He hated high-maintenance kids, and apparently that was what I was. When Tomoe was around, he never had to deal with any of it. She took care of me more than he ever did. And Uncle Hiko was just this person who was there to pay for our food and clothes. He was like one of the people working behind the scenes in a movie. Things got put where they needed to be, when they needed to be there, and it never occurred to the audience that a real person did all that.

            At the same time... he was the only father I'd ever had. And I didn't hate him.

^_^

            Tuesday flew away from me. I was amazed at how quickly the time passed when I didn't do anything. Unless sleeping all day was considered a lot of activity. My chest still ached, but at least I wasn't coughing up blood anymore. It might have been a good idea to have seen a doctor the day before, but wasn't it just the previous Monday that I had left a hospital with Kaoru? I did not care to go back. They were not kidding when they said bad things came in threes.

            At one point Tuesday evening, Uncle Hiko actually left the house. I knew this because he shouted loud enough that the entire neighborhood knew he was leaving.

            I took the opportunity to spend a little time in the rest of the house. My appetite was zilch so I settled with a glass of water. After that, I grabbed some clean, comfortable clothes and took a shower. Standing in the tub, I decided I missed the shower in the dorm. I even missed the occasions when Kamatari decided to walk in on me. That guy knew full well that someone was in the shower. I had long ago figured out that he just liked to see my reaction. It was why I had stopped getting upset about it. For some reason, I got the feeling he liked that too.

            I missed being around people who at least _acted_ like they cared.

            This was the conclusion I came to while sitting on the floor in the bathroom. The mirror was fogged up, my old clothes in a pile on the floor across from me, my shirt still on the toilet seat. It was too cold to sit there in just my flannel pants, so I had the damp towel wrapped around my shoulders.

            A knock on the bathroom door was all the warning I had before Uncle Hiko barged in.

            "I brought home some Arby's," he announced. "I got a roast beef sandwich for you."

            That was the only thing I would eat from that place. The other stuff was probably fine. I just never tried it--never cared to.

            "You haven't eaten anything today," he continued when I didn't say anything. I stared at my knees. He sighed. "Are you going to pout all day?"

            "I'm not pouting," I grumbled. Okay, so I was pouting. I was justified, wasn't I? For god's sake, the man broke a couple of my ribs and all but told me I was the scum of the earth! Didn't I have a right to be upset?

            "I want you to eat something."

            "Like you would care if I starved to death," I murmured. It was barely more than a whisper, but I should have known he would hear it.

            "What?" he crouched in front of me, trying to meet my gaze, but I kept my eyes down. "What do you mean by that?"

            I hugged my arms closer to my chest. It helped make it not so difficult to breathe. I wanted him to go away. Because I really was not sure of the answer to the question I had to ask.

            "Do you really wish I would have died instead of Tomoe?" I whispered.

            I half expected him to say yes, that it would have been less heartache for the family. Thinking this, I had to keep talking to keep him from answering.

            "I mean," I added quickly, still not looking up. I really didn't want to see the scowl he always wore around me. "You're always calling me an idiot or a moron, and I know I'm not always quick to learn things. I'm selfish and cold and a pain..." I sniffed. I was going to cry, and nothing was going to stop it this time.

            "Stop it, Kenshin," Uncle Hiko muttered. I didn't want to hear it. A sob made its way up into my throat, and I bent over my knees, pulling that towel around me tighter. I wanted him to leave me alone, but he wouldn't. "Don't talk like that, kid. Don't ever think that I would wish that on you. _Ever_."

            "I'm sorry." It came out this awful whimper, and I wished I had never said it, but instead I said it again. "I'm sorry."

            Uncle Hiko made a sound of what might have been disgust. Whatever it was, he did something a little odd after that. He pulled the towel up, dropping it on my head and scrubbing at my hair like I was little again. Taking the towel away, he pushed my sweatshirt over my head, pushing at my arms until I figured out where they were supposed to go. Then, he pulled me to my feet and bent down to my height, his hands gripping my arms so hard it almost hurt. I looked at him reluctantly. He had an anxious frown on his face.

            "You are an idiot, Kenshin," he said seriously. For some reason, it didn't bother me that he said it like that. "You've got people around you who care about you, but you don't seem to notice. And if you suggest I'd rather see you dead again, I will hit you so hard you _will_ have to go to the hospital."

            It was a strange way to say it, but it got the point across. I smiled shakily and nodded. He smirked and stood straight again, patting my shoulder once.

            "Good," he turned to leave. "Now wash your face and come eat. I rented a movie. We'll watch that tonight."

            "What movie?" I asked, then cleared my throat because my voice was hoarse from crying.

            "_The Princess Bride_."

            I looked at his reflection in the mirror. He smirked and nodded in the general direction of the family room. I sighed, and he left the bathroom.

            For the time, everything was okay. I washed my face so I appeared somewhat human again when I looked at my reflection. Uncle Hiko handed me my sandwich when I went out to the kitchen, and we went into the family room. I sat on the couch next to him, and he turned on the movie.

            He actually did get _The Princess Bride_. It surprised me, but at least it was a decent film. Sadly, I was still tired, and I fell asleep sometime shortly after the duel between the man in the mask and Inigo Montoya.

^_^

            Wednesday, I spent recovering from the previous two days. It still hurt if I breathed deeply, but that would not go away for several weeks. The stress had gotten to me, and I found myself fighting a cold. I took some cold medication and settled down on the couch with a box of tissues beside me. I slept there while Uncle Hiko went to work.

            He was a consultant of some sort. He never told me what he really did, and I never bothered to ask. I doubt he would have told me anyway. As long as he could afford to keep himself fed and in decent clothes and shelter, I suppose it did not much matter to me.

            Uncle Hiko woke me late that afternoon. Time to choke down some dinner, I thought, but he didn't say anything about that. He just put his hand on my forehead, checking for a fever, I guessed, and sat back on the couch when he finished.

            "There's a couple kids here to see you," he said. "You want to talk to them?"

            I frowned at him. Normally, he would have just sent any visitors in to wake me themselves. I wanted to question that, but he had been nice to me the past couple days, and I did not want to risk it. So I just nodded and stared up at the ceiling when he left, trying to make myself sit up. Well, willing myself to be upright was not good enough, and I did not have the desire to put forth the effort, so I stayed on my back.

            It was Sano and Kaoru. Sano hung back with his hands in his pockets, but Kaoru rushed right to me. She solved my problem of not being able to sit up when she hugged me. I hugged her back, letting her pull me upright.

            "Kenshin, I was so worried!" she said, just a little too loudly while her face was right next to my ear. "I didn't mean to push, but... what happened? The line just cut off, and it sounded like something broke."

            "Hmm..." I sighed. "That was the phone. I'm sorry I yelled at you."

            "Kenshin, why didn't you say something?" Sano asked, sounding irritated. "We could have worked this out."

            "I didn't want to talk about it," I admitted, wincing slightly when Kaoru squeezed a little too hard. "Ow..." That hurt. I was in an odd position, my ribs grating against each other unpleasantly.

            "What's wrong?" Kaoru jumped back, but one of her hands stayed on my arm, her other moving to my face. I looked at her and smiled a bit.

            "Broken ribs," I explained. I frowned then. This was not going to be fun. But if they both knew about it already... I had to make sure I knew exactly what they did. Also, it was better to get it out then so I wouldn't have to talk about it again. "What did Jordan tell you?"

            "She told Megumi," Sano shrugged, finally settling down enough to join us. He sat on the coffee table across from me and Kaoru. "Not a lot. Just that she saw the accident. Jordan thought you were uncomfortable with her because she was there with you when your sister died."

            Oh. Was that all? That wasn't much, really. There was so much more to it.

            "That's it?"

            "Megumi said you were hurt, too," Kaoru added. "But that's it."

            "Oh..." That meant I was going to have to go into a little more detail. Goody.

            "What happened, Kenshin?" Sano asked quietly. I glanced at him, saw his serious expression, and looked back at my lap. Kaoru reached for my hand, and I gladly accepted the gesture. I focused on our hands on the dark blanket while I considered what to say.

            "Jordan... was there when it happened," I said finally. "It was dark. There was a snow storm that night, and the roads were icy..." my throat tried to close on me when I continued, but I stuttered through it. "A car... it couldn't--couldn't stop in time."

            I took a deep breath and let it out shakily. Kaoru squeezed my hand, and I nodded to show I was okay. I even smiled a bit.

            "It's okay... it was a long time ago," I murmured tiredly.

            "Did you ever talk to anyone about it?" Kaoru asked.

            Who was there to talk to? Uncle Hiko? The psychiatrists? I shook my head.

            "No wonder!" Kaoru hugged me again, and I groaned softly in protest. "You dummy! Doesn't it feel better now that it's out?"

            No. Not really... Maybe... just a little. I sighed and leaned against her. Even what I had told them was not all. There was so much more to it. I idolized Tomoe--loved her more than anything. She was my mother, sister, and best friend. How did a person go about filling the void left when that was taken away? Four years, and I had yet to figure that out.

^_^

*_FLASHBACK_*

            I had never liked winter. It was so cold, and the ground got so slippery, and it was so embarrassing when you slipped and fell in the snow. But my sister adored it. She loved to sit in the bay window and just stare at the falling snow. For hours at a time, she would sit there and gaze into the yard when it snowed.

            Tomoe was the best thing in my life. I looked up to her more than I ever did to Uncle Hiko. She was perfect. Her grace and beauty, her intelligence--she got straight A's through school--and her selflessness.

            When we were little, she would torment me, as most older sisters do. She and her friends would pull me around and make me play house and dress up with them. At the age of five, I would do anything to be around 'Tommie' so I put up with the treatment.

            One of her friends was mean to me once. The ten-year-old got mad and pushed me, yelling at me.

            "Get away from us, annoying brat!"

            I landed hard on my bottom, more startled than hurt. Naturally, I began to cry. And Tommie got mad.

            "What do you think you're doing?" she asked angrily.

            "Why do we always have to let him hang around?" her friend whined. "He's just a crybaby."

            "He's not a crybaby," Tommie bent down and wiped at my tears. She smiled at me and lifted me off the floor. She was a lot bigger than me, my big sister. I didn't care. "He only cries when you hurt him."

            "You should just make him hang around your uncle when I'm over," the other girl told Tommie.

            "I've got a better idea," Tommie glared at the mean girl. "Why don't you leave? I like my brother more than I like you."

            Although I did not fully understand it at the time, Tomoe had really gone out on a limb defending me then. At that time, I was just happy that Tommie agreed to play cars and Barbies with me. Yes, I played with the cars, and she played with the dolls. Unfortunately, my Matchbox cars rarely held up under the dolls that were ten times too big for them.

^_^

            Years passed, and both of us matured. I grew from a giggly boy to a cheerful and frequently self-righteous adolescent. My sister changed from my Tommie, the protective older sibling, to Tomoe, the beautiful young woman who was engaged to be married the summer of her twentieth year. Her fiancé was good man of twenty-two who she met in one of her classes. I liked him well enough. He was nice and never patronized me, like most adults tended to do to fifteen-year-olds.

            Tomoe took me shopping one winter afternoon, along with her best friend--also her maid of honor. I wasn't overly excited about dress shopping, but Tomoe had promised dinner and a movie after we finished. Since she had been gone over Christmas break, visiting her fiancé's family, I was happy to have some time with her. Well, that and I got a free dinner out of it.

            It was an all-day affair. We went to the typical bridal shops, where I had to sit in a chair while Tomoe and Jordan swooned over the pictures and tried on dresses. It was _boring_.

            "What do you think of this one, Kenny?" Jordan asked me, twirling around in some frilly pink thing. I hated it when she called me that, but since the girl was not otherwise offensive, I let her get by with it.

            "The blue one was better," I replied, barely paying attention. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, pushing it out of my eyes. It was almost long enough to tuck behind my ears--a sure sign I needed to get it cut soon. If I let it grow too much, the boys at school made fun of me for looking like a girl. They didn't so much now that I was in high school, but after years of being teased and tormented over my girlish looks, I was a little leery of it.

            "Kenshin?" Tomoe came out of the fitting room, looking gorgeous. She wanted my opinion, but my opinion was she would look good if she traipsed down the aisle wearing a plastic garbage bag.

            "That's pretty too," I mumbled.

            "Do you think this makes my bust look too big?" Jordan asked then, smoothing down the stomach of this awful green thing--the sales lady called it _sage_. It looked like a big, green, lacy candied mint. I didn't know anything about girls and boobs, but that big bow in the back made her butt look like it had its own zip code. Of course, I did not say this. Only someone who was a complete idiot would ever say that to a girl. I have said some dumb things in my life, but never would I have been so blatantly stupid.

            "That bow is hideous," I announced.

            "You think so?" Jordan held up her brown hair and looked at her backside in the three-way mirror. She wrinkled her nose at her reflection. "You could be right."

            "Aren't you two hungry yet?" Translation: "I'm starved. I'm bored. Let's go eat." Tomoe was good at figuring me out like that. She smiled, looking rather silly with her hair floating around and sticking to her face with static.

            "You know, I _am _pretty hungry," she said. "Jordan, let's take a break. We can look more tomorrow--without the moody teenager sitting in the corner."

            I rolled my eyes and slouched down in the chair impatiently. Jordan and Tomoe giggled and finally went back to change into their normal clothes.

            There was a TGI Fridays across the street from the shopping center. Jordan insisted upon walking so we would not have to hassle with Saturday evening parking.

            "Besides," she smiled as we zipped up our jackets and headed toward the exit. "It was really nice outside today."

            That meant the temperature had risen to above freezing that afternoon. The roads were all water and slush, and my feet were protesting the damp. They had finally dried out, and I was not looking forward to walking through puddles again.

            I didn't have to. The instant the sun dropped below the horizon, the temperatures plummeted. It was bitterly cold outside, and snowing. I was all for driving, even though it was just across the street. Tomoe liked walking through the thick snowfall, and she just tugged on my hat so that it covered my ears and smiled, turning away to head the direction opposite of the car. Dang it.

            So we plodded through the slippery snow to the main road. I hated driving on that road. Even just being a passenger in the car, it was kind of intimidating with the traffic flow. It was not very busy at this point. The weather was bad, and most people stayed home for the night.

            Tomoe caught my hand as the light turned, and I scowled at her. I wasn't a kid anymore. For god's sake, I was fifteen! I didn't need someone to guide me across the street.

            "It's slippery, Kenshin," Tomoe told me. "If I fall, I'm taking you with me."

            "Thanks, Tomoe," I looked at her suspiciously, trying to decide if she was telling the truth or just saying that to pacify me. It did not really matter, and I promptly forgot about it because I had to concentrate on keeping my feet beneath me.

            I never saw the truck. To this day, I don't remember anything about that vehicle beyond the sudden flare of headlights. What I _do_ remember is the shock of my sister being propelled into me with horrifying force.

            Tomoe hit me, and my first thought was of the last thing she said.

            _"If I fall, I'm taking you with me."_

            She had not been kidding. I was not immediately aware of the severity of the situation. It took awhile for me to realize that it was not normal for us to be flying through the air like that. In fact, the only thing I thought to do was curl myself around Tomoe, taking most of the impact when we hit the ground. We rolled a few feet, then slid a long distance--I didn't know how far. My arm and side hurt, and I couldn't breathe well. It was so dark outside that I couldn't tell if my vision was going out or if it was just the night. All I could think of was how cold it was and that I wanted to ask Tomoe if she was hurt.

            "Tomoe?" My arms were still around her, and I could not move to look at her. I wanted to know what had happened, but more than that, I needed my sister to respond to me. "Tomoe? Are you okay?"

            I could see her face, but it was all shadows and dark silk. One of my arms did not hurt so bad, and I lifted my hand to her cheek. Her black hair was warm and wet. I closed my eyes and bent my head to rest against hers, even though it hurt to move.

            Jordan was screaming, hysterical and loud. Then, she was there, sobbing and calling out our names. Opening my eyes, I looked up to see the girl, silhouetted by some car's headlights. She was still crying, but she saw me move.

            "Kenny?" she touched my face, rubbing her hand over my cheek. "Kenny, are you okay?"

            "I don't know..." my words were thick, and I tasted blood in my throat. "Tomoe... won't say anything."

            "Kenny, don't worry," Jordan said, her voice hitched and watery. "You'll be fine. You're going to be just fine."

            "Tomoe?" I asked again, brushing back that glistening, wet hair. It was not natural, that warmth. And it occurred to me that it was not snow. I started to cry then, panic welling up in me. "Tommie?" I even went so far as to shake her, although my arm was not strong enough to move her much. "Tommie?!"

            The sirens were really loud. I had not heard them before. But suddenly, there were people there, moving us--taking me away from my sister.

            "_Tommie!!_"

            Everything went black.

*_END FLASHBACK_*

^_^

            I did not want to tell them all of that. An abridged version of the events would be enough.

            "It hit both of us," I explained. Kaoru still had her arms around me, and I was getting uncomfortable. I pulled back a bit, bending my knees in attempt to ease the pressure on my chest. Kaoru wouldn't let go. It seemed wrong, somehow, to push her away, so I sighed and tolerated it. "Tomoe first, actually. She took most of it... she died on the way to the hospital... massive hemorrhaging."

            "But you weren't hurt?" Kaoru asked softly. I shook my head in response to her question.

            "I had some broken and bruised ribs, a dislocated shoulder, a concussion, and some internal bleeding..." In fact, I had almost missed the funeral. I had barely been able to walk. "But it didn't kill me. Jordan narrowly missed getting hit..."

            Damn it all! I was getting teary-eyed again. After blowing up at Uncle Hiko the previous day, I thought I was over this. I coughed, trying to blink away the tears.

            "Oh, Kenshin," Kaoru whispered. "It's okay to cry... everyone cries."

            Despite the tears, I chuckled. She was repeating my words. Though she had a point. I turned my face into her shoulder. I was gasping, still trying not to cry in front of them, but it didn't really work.

            So, I cried. And Kaoru was decent about it, rubbing my back and rocking back and forth slightly.

            "I miss her," I admitted. "It's not fair that she died and I didn't."

            Kaoru just hugged me tighter, and I stopped talking. Sano sat on my other side--behind me, actually, as I was still half stretched out on the couch--and rested his hand on my shoulder. He didn't last that long, being so distant, and suddenly both Kaoru and I were crushed against him. That hurt, and I had to protest.

            "Owwww!" it came out a little oddly--part groaning, part crying, and part laughing. I was caught somewhere between being sad, amused, and in incredible pain. Kaoru let go when I stiffened in the little group hug, and I whined again when Sano didn't. "Sanooooo... let go."

            He dropped me, and I wrapped my arm around my chest while I took a couple deep breaths. Broken ribs were such a pain... so to speak. I coughed, and Kaoru handed me a tissue. Although I wished I didn't have to, I took the tissue and blew my nose. Then, I dried my face and leaned back against the couch cushions, turning so I could put my feet on the coffee table.

            "So..." Sano said awkwardly. "Now what?"

            I smirked, and Kaoru laughed.

            "Let's do something," she suggested. She glanced at me and frowned. "But not like this. You look awful."

            That startled me. She usually didn't just announce something like that. Kaoru, in general, had always been a little more delicate about these things.

            "Thanks, Kaoru," I muttered.

            "I didn't mean it like that!" she protested. "It's just... you're really pale... your hair's a mess... and you look kind of tired..."

            "In other words," Sano snorted. "You look like shit."

            Wow. Good to know.

            "I know what'll make you feel better!" Kaoru stood up and held her hands out to me. There was not much else to do, so I put my hands in hers and let her pull me to my feet. "We'll take you out to dinner."

            "Dinner?" I echoed.

            "Go shower," she pushed at my shoulders lightly, urging me out of the room. I shook my head and changed directions. "Kenshin?"

            "Shower's that way," I pointed to my new destination. She had been guiding me to the kitchen.

            Kaoru blushed, then shrugged and giggled.

            "Put on something nice and comfortable," she ordered. "Where do you want to eat? Embers? Baker Square?"

            "Pie?" How could I turn down dessert? Kaoru laughed at my response and nodded.

            "Baker Square it is," she agreed. "Go on, now! Sanosuke and I are waiting."

            I had to smile. Sometimes... sometimes all of Kaoru's cheer was kind of nice.

^_^

End Notes: *huge sigh* Whew. It's done. I hope that was all clear and not too depressing. Next chapter's lighter… back at college!

And… a little guest appearance from _The Princess Bride****_

**Inigo**: Hallo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

**Kaoru**: *blinks*

**Inigo**: Do you not have six fingers on your right hand?

**Kaoru**: *shakes head dumbly and holds up her hand to display five fingers*

**Inigo**: *sighs and walks away* A-_HA!_ *runs up to Sano* Hallo! My name is--

**Sano**: Will you loan me a five?

**Inigo**: *falls over* You are ruining my revenge!

To the Reviewers:

**aku-chan: You're welcome. And sometimes you've got to do things you don't like to do, you know? At least… that's my thoughts.**

**dernhelm: It's K/K in the loosest sense of the concept. This story is not a romance, and I will not spend it focusing solely on their relationship.**

**C-Chan & Eko: I'm glad you liked Jordan. I was afraid people would not appreciate the insertion of an extra character like that. And Eko, I'm hurt. You're ignoring me? *sniff***

**Luce: I'm a bit flustered at the compliments. Thank you.**

**ColbyWolf: If there's one thing I've discovered, it's that I cannot please everyone when it comes to romance-type stuff. If it's K/K, the K/K haters beg me to change it. If it's something else, I get insulted for not following the traditional. Perhaps it's a good idea just to pack up and write non-fictional essays. *snort* Like that would ever happen.**

**Chibi**** Assassin: I've been at weddings with two flower girls. It's especially cute when you have one on either side of the ring bearer (not your spastic little Frodo). Notice how the girls tend to dominate those little boys? *snicker***

**marstanuki: *snicker* Cheers to the Megumi hater. I can't say I hate the character, but I will agree with you on many points.**

**Hana**** Himura: Kenshin's going to keep choking. Not much of a romance writer myself, I'm afraid. I can do little stuff, but I just don't do well with sappy romance fics. I never like the outcome when I try. But keep hoping. Something may turn up.**

**Gochan: *snicker* I know how you feel. I have to take certain people shopping with me or I'll never try anything on. If it was up to me, I'd spend my life in baggy jeans and oversized tee shirts. And a sympathetic setting might work… I don't think anything was too surprising.**

**Gypsy-chan: You're welcome. Not all of Kenshin's past, mind you. More happened later that I've yet to go into. *grin***

**Fabi-chan: Forgive me, but I'm wracking my brain to come up with ways that Kenshin was thinking like Peter Parker, and I'm failing miserably. And I'm a fan of Spiderman, so I like to think I should know what you're talking about… *sigh***

**Crystal: It's not too hard. Just go out, buy one of those cheap plastic things, put it to your lips, and blow. *snicker* Okay, that might not be and _innocent whistle (in fact, might annoy the hell out of everyone around you)._**

**Gemin16: Now you know. Was it okay?**

**Vesca: Ahhh, you had lots o' OCs in your story, no? As for colds… want some of my prescription-strength cough syrup? Robitussin with codeine… phew. Knocked me right out. I even fell asleep in class. Whoops. And I work in a social dresses department in Macy's. I've worked with dozens of brides and hundreds of bridesmaids, so yup, I know exactly what it's like. *shudder***

**Chiki: Sarcastic? Yes and no. Although my thoughts tend to run as I've written them for Kenshin, I try not to say that stuff out loud. I've discovered many people just don't appreciate it. (Some people just have no sense of humor. It's not like I'm serious.)**


	16. I start again

**Disclaimer**: *Camera pans in. Fitz can be seen, bent over a desk, dusting something*

Fitz: There!

*object is a plaque, and it reads: Penniless pauper.*

Fitz: It's my official name plate, so everyone knows who and what I am.

Fitz owns nothing but what's in her mind. (And even some of those things are rip-offs from the media.)

**Notes**: Lots o' Kamatari in these next chapters. Ah, our little cross-dressing cutie. I missed him, so I brought him back. Anyhoo, for those of you who have not cared for all the darkness in the previous chapters, perhaps you'll like this a little better. Much lighter and filled with sappy cuteness… and some not-so-sappy cuteness.

Kenshin: *fleeing rabid sales lady* I don't want any!

Rabid Sales Lady: *spritzing perfume* You'll _love_ our newest Calvin Klein fragrance!

Kenshin: Help!

Kamatari: I'll try some.

Rabid Sales Lady: *spritzes Kamatari*

**Warnings**: Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap! Slightly depressing scenes, and Kenshin on skates.

Kenshin: *wobbling on roller blades, arms flailing wildly* I hate you all! You already _did_ this to me! *falls*

And an odd warning (for those against her)… Kaoru is present in this story. (I wonder about that sometimes. Usually I'm warning for shonen ai content, not traditional couples content…)

Onward!!

My Life

            "_Sweetheart!_"

            Kamatari greeted me with a big smile and open arms when I walked into the social lounge that Sunday afternoon. My arms were full with my belongings, and I was panting a bit since I could not take any deep breaths. On top of that, I had less than three seconds to avoid what was certain to be a painful reunion.

            "K-Kamatari!" I set down one of my bags and took a step back. "Just a min--"

            In the end, I was not quick enough. He had his arms around me and was... picking me up. I was a little thrown off. It never even occurred to me to protest, I was so shocked.

            "I hear you've got some injuries," Kamatari said with a sweet smile. "And here you are, carrying around all those heavy bags by yourself."

            "It's not that--" I started.

            "Chou! Get his bags!"

            "Why do _I_ have to carry his bags?" Chou grumbled while he picked up the two bags I had dropped.

            "Do you want to trade?" Kamatari offered, turning to face him. Still a bit stunned, I just looked at Chou, then back at Kamatari.

            "Nah, you can carry him," Chou grinned.

            "How kind of you," Kamatari smirked. "Come along, sweetheart. We've got so much to catch up on!"

            "I can walk," I said, but I did not bother trying to fight him. He had proven himself capable of restraining me when I was perfectly fit. In my current state, I didn't stand a chance.

            "And deny me this grand opportunity?" Kamatari countered. "Got your key?"

            "It's in my pocket." Which I could not reach while I was caught up in his arms.

            "Chou! Get his key!"

            "_HEY!_" Dear god! What did he take me for?! I wasn't going to let Chou go digging through my pants pockets--while I was still _wearing them!_ "Chou, keep your hands to yourself. I'll..." If I squirmed a bit (or if Kamatari would just put me down) I could almost... "Get it!"

            I relented the key at that point to Chou, who unlocked the door and shouldered his way in. Kamatari followed, finally depositing me on my bed. I sighed and felt my face warm a bit when Chou tossed the stuffed gorilla across the room to me. The toy immediately went into the corner above my pillow. It was almost hidden there.

            "How did you know about that anyway?" I wondered. Not that I was complaining... well, being carried to my room was not what I would have preferred, but it could have been worse. One of Kamatari's bone-crushing hugs would have made me light-headed.

            "I have my sources," Kamatari said, sitting on the bed next to me while Chou claimed the futon. He sat up a little straighter, flinging out a hand. His fingernails were painted blue. "Kamatari sees all and knows all!"

            "Sano tell you?"

            He blinked, then leaned back against the wall with a little grin.

            "Yeah."

            Good. Sano and Kaoru both had agreed not to tell anyone else what I had told them. Through Sano, I assumed that Megumi would learn of my desire to keep the matter private. While I had to admit it was nice that someone other than Uncle Hiko knew, I really did not want every acquaintance to know. Granted, Kamatari was a bit more than just an 'acquaintance.' Close friend? Well... I wasn't sure.

            "Ready to begin a new semester, Kenshin?" Chou asked, getting up to fiddle with dials on my radio. He was obsessed with that thing. "I could have used another month."

            I had been ready to start school the week before, but I didn't say that. I just shook my head and shifted a bit uncomfortably.

            "But I've only got one class on Fridays this semester," I smirked when Chou looked at me enviously. "Ten o'clock class, and I'm done for the weekend."

            "Damn! That's nice!" Chou shook his head and finally let the radio play on the only station it picked up. Bon Jovi filled the little room, and I motioned for him to turn it down. Thankfully, he did so.

            "I don't have _any_ classes on Friday!" Kamatari said, grinning broadly. Well, that ruined my fun. Chou and I looked at him. I didn't know about Chou, but I was very jealous.

            "How'd you pull that off?" I demanded.

            "Stacked up the classes on Tuesday and Thursday," Kamatari shrugged and smiled. "A night class on Monday, lab and a two-hour history class on Wednesday, and I've got my Fridays free."

            "Knock, knock!" Sano's voice just barely preceded his entrance, and he grinned at us. "It's about time you got here. Bet you were just having so much fun hanging out with your uncle that you couldn't stand the thought of coming back here."

            "I wouldn't take it that far," I shook my head. "Lunch time?"

            Sano grinned.

            "You just can't beat the mass-produced food of the U," he declared. "Let's go."

            I glanced at Kamatari.

            "You guys coming?"

            Kamatari grinned, and Chou shrugged. The four of us went down to lunch.

^_^

            January seventeenth snuck up on me faster than ever that year. Maybe it was because it did not weigh on my mind like it usually did. Perhaps that talk with Kaoru and Sano had helped lessen the pain enough that I did not dread it so much. Or maybe it was because all my professors piled on the homework on the first day of class, and I spent so much time in my books that I could not spare any time for it.

            The reason was not important. What mattered was that it was Thursday, the sixteenth, and I was without a ride.

            "You _WHAT?!_" I could not believe my ears. Uncle Hiko would not do this to me.

            "I'm sorry, kid," he muttered. "This meeting is important."

            "You _knew_ this was coming!" I was almost shouting. I couldn't help it--I was furious. "How could you set up a meeting on _that day?!_"

            "In the morning--"

            "I've got class!"

            "Do you have time tonight?"

            I sighed. He was trying. He really was. That made it difficult to be reasonably hostile.

            "It's not the same, Uncle Hiko," I replied softly. I leaned back against the partition separating my closet from the room and slid down to sit on the floor. The phone cord stretched up to my side, but it was not too bad. "I have to go tomorrow."

            "Look, Kenshin," he said bluntly. "You know I feel terrible about this, but I can't do anything for you."

            "I know," I let my head thunk back against the wall. "I'll see... maybe someone will give me a ride... or I can find the right bus to take."

            "You'll have to walk a bit from any bus stop," Uncle Hiko pointed out.

            "I know." God, did I know. I'd done it once before. "It's okay. I'll figure something out."

            "You okay, kid?"

            "Yeah, I'm fine," I grumbled. Moody, but not about to take anyone's head off. "I'll talk to you later, Uncle Hiko."

            "Go eat some dinner," was his response, then a dial tone. So much for good-byes. He never did like those much. Then again, neither did I. You never knew when a good-bye might be forever. It was better just to leave it, expecting to speak with the person again.

            Groaning in protest, I ran my hand up into my hair.

            "Think..." I mumbled. Who could I ask? Sano... but he had been talking about his date with Megumi all week--Friday afternoon. That could last until Sunday, knowing those two. Kaoru? No. She'd said she had a chemistry lab Friday afternoons that spanned over three hours. Which left... Misao? No, no, and no again.

            "What's with all the hollering in here, sweetheart?"

            Kamatari? I looked up at the man. He was dressed for comfort that evening, in a pair of cotton drawstring pants and a bulky University sweatshirt. The cosmetics were to a minimum, but his hair was still fluffed out like usual. Good thing, or I might not have recognized him.

            "Sweetheart, you're staring."

            I blinked. So I was--staring, that is. It was an idea, though. He had a license and, I thought, a car.

            "Are you busy tomorrow afternoon?" I asked.

            He looked startled. It made sense. I had never gone out of my way to do anything with him other than the spontaneous. While we were kind-of buddies in the dorm, we really did not have much in common.

            "Uh... no," he was frowning. Oh, bad sign. He was going to reject me before I could ask. I glanced down at the phone, beeping away in my hand. Standing carefully, I hung it up.

            "I've got to go somewhere tomorrow," I said when he did not speak up. "But my ride cancelled on me. Would you mind... I mean--" how to make this so I wasn't sounding like I was just using his friendship for his mode of transportation? "I'll pay you for gas--"

            "Where are you going?" he asked quietly.

            I looked up in surprise. Was he offering...? He wasn't smiling yet. Odd man. He always smiled. I hoped I had not offended him.

            "Oh, ah..." _Oh, just spit it out, idiot!_ Gah. I was insulting myself in true Uncle Hiko style! "A cemetery in West St. Paul."

            His eyes widened a bit, and then he did smile.

            "Sure, sweetheart," he agreed. "When do you want to go?"

            I smiled gratefully and replied that as long as it didn't interfere with my morning class, anything was fine. After that, he invited me to go to dinner with him and Chou. I accepted, pausing to grab my ID and keys, and we were out the door.

^_^

            Kamatari was very laid back about the entire thing. I found him in the library, just where he told me he would be, and we went to his car. It was a small Toyota, and an older model at that, but it could get us to where we were going, so I could not complain.

            It was not a nice day. It was bitterly cold and windy, the powerful gusts of air threatening to sweep Kamatari's little car into the next lane. But it really was not that far to the cemetery, and we got there safely.

            Kamatari surprised me again by producing a small bouquet of flowers when we arrived. After parking on the street, he reached into the back seat and picked them up, then turning to hand them to me. I had not noticed them before.

            "What's this?" I took the flowers uncertainly. They were not roses or tulips, like some people might have thought to give--Kaoru might have gone with roses if she thought to bring flowers. It was just one of those cheap flower bundles a person could get in a grocery store or even a gas station. That he had gone out of his way to get them, though...

            "It seemed like a good idea when I saw them," Kamatari smiled lightly. "To put on the grave. Of course, if you don't want to do that, you're free to keep them."

            The last time anyone had given Tomoe flowers was the day we put her in the ground. Uncle Hiko had always thought it was too cold to leave them in the winter, and I never went any other time.

            I smiled at Kamatari.

            "Thanks."

            He nodded and climbed out of the car. He walked with me down the path, both of us hunching against the wind. When I stepped off the path, into the snow, Kamatari went back a short distance to stand against the wall of the visitor's house in the middle of the cemetery, where it was protected from the bitter wind. I trudged through the snow until I reached the headstone.

            It was a family plot. My parents were buried right beside her, and there was an empty place next to Tomoe. With any luck, that would remain empty for another fifty or sixty years. But I did not come to visit my parents. I was only four when they died. I barely remembered them.

            For awhile, I stared down at the plot, at those carefully carved letters, lined with snow. Reaching down, I wiped away the white until the words were clear.

            Tomoe Himura (September 14, 1979 to January 17, 1999)

            The wind kicked up the loose snow around me, and I shuddered, hugging the flower bundle closer to me. Normally, that would have sent me running to the nearest shelter, but for Tomoe, I would not be a wimp. Instead, I sat down in the snow, leaning back against the blank spot on that wide headstone, next to Tomoe's name. It helped to block some of the wind, even though I was getting wet.

            "I have some flowers for you," I whispered, pushing the plastic-wrapped bouquet down into the snow, burying it a little so it would not blow away. "It's from Kamatari, actually. You know Uncle Hiko. He's too practical. Never thought the flowers would last a day in the cold."

            I sighed and closed my eyes, just sitting there. I never said anything more to her. It was a silly concept to me--speaking to the dead. A few words were all I could ever manage. Surely, she was disappointed in me. There was no need to try to justify myself. I could only hope my way of life was improving enough that she would forgive my shortcomings.

            After my hands started going numb, I decided it was time to leave. I got to my feet, brushing the snow from my pants as well as I could, and resigned myself to damp clothing. Glancing down at the trampled snow of Tomoe's grave site, I smiled a bit.

            "I love you, Tommie," I murmured, then jogged away, back to Kamatari who looked like he would kill for a space heater. He smiled through blue lips at me.

            "Ready to go?"

            "Yeah."

            "All right, sweetheart," he flung his arm around my shoulders and walked up the path with me. "But we're stopping at McDonald's for something hot."

            "Sounds good to me," I agreed readily.

^_^

            It started with a trip to the cemetery. I never would have thought something like that could spark a friendship. Then again, I have repeatedly proven myself to be perfectly clueless when it came to such matters. I would be better off never assuming anything.

            The following Friday, Kamatari countered the favor with a request for one for himself. He showed up in my room around noon.

            A knock on the door made me look up from my psychology book. The door was open, so Kamatari walked right in after having knocked. I marked my page.

            "Hi," I greeted. "What's up?"

            "You owe me a favor," he announced with a grin.

            That made me frown. After all, what kind of person demands additional recompense after taking a friend to a cemetery?

            Kamatari seemed to know what I was thinking.

            "Don't look at me like that, sweetheart," he giggled. "I won't force you into anything."

            "What do you want?" I countered.

            "Go shopping with me?" he asked, smiling brightly.

            Shopping? Of all things. It could have been a movie or studying at the library. But shopping? I hated shopping.

            "What do you say?" he pressed, leaning forward and batting his eyelashes at me. "Keep me company? Chou won't go with me."

            Go figure. Although, I had to give Chou credit. He had gone shopping with Kamatari several times prior to that. And with Kamatari giving me those big doe eyes, his girly little pout... I couldn't say no.

            "Okay," I sighed, closing my book. "Let me change--" (I was wearing pajama bottoms and a flannel shirt.) "And we can go."

            His eyes lit up, and he cheered happily, skipping out of my room. Groaning softly, I pulled out a pair of jeans.

^_^

            We went to the Rosedale mall. My favorite thing about that place was the Mrs. Field's chocolate chip cookies. I made Kamatari stop there first, so I could carry it around with me while he shopped. Of course, the cookie lasted a total of maybe five minutes... maybe. Probably less.

            The one thing Kamatari had going for him was that, with his cosmetics, he looked so feminine that the casual passerby immediately mistook him for a woman. To figure it out, a person had to know where to look--like at the Adam's apple or the hands. But how many people actually searched for those things? And it made things easier when he wanted to try on the clothing.

            My problem with the entire situation was that I looked feminine enough _without_ the make-up that all the sales people took us for a pair of girls. When we walked into Marshall Fields, some woman even asked me if I wanted to try the latest fragrance. Kamatari sniffed at it, then shook his head and led me down to the junior's department.

            "Come on, sweetheart," he grinned, holding up a pair of jeans that looked much too tight to be comfortable. "You've got to tell me how these look."

            "I can't go in there," I protested. Outside of the fitting room there was a three-way mirror. There were several high-school girls there, prancing around in prom dresses. Kamatari was eyeing them curiously, and I immediately objected. "Tell me you're not trying any of those on!"

            "I don't have the figure," Kamatari said with a sly grin. "But I can admire, can't I?"

            I scowled at him, then walked over to stand next to another guy who looked as bored as could be. He glanced at me, then over at Kamatari, walking into the fitting room with his clothes.

            "Not as into the shopping as your friend?" he asked. I looked at him, and he smirked. "My girlfriend made me come with her to go prom dress shopping."

            "Hn..." I glanced back to the girls. A cute little thing with curly brown hair and brown eyes turned her smile over to the guy next to me. Her smile faltered a bit when she saw me, but then she smiled again, confident as could be. "Your girlfriend?"

            "Yup."

            "She's pretty," I observed. "You date her long?"

            "Almost a year," he nodded.

            Kamatari came out then, wearing those jeans. He had put on a rather bulky sweatshirt that came down almost to his thighs. It was a good thing, too. Those pants he had on were so tight that if he had not worn that shirt, it would have been obvious as to his gender. He stopped in front of us, spinning lightly.

            "What do you think? Give me a true guy's opinion," he demanded.

            I sighed.

            "It looks fine," I shrugged. Painful, yes. But not bad. Granted, I would not have recommended any other guy try the same thing. Kamatari could do it if he wanted, but wearing girl's clothing really was not a practice I wanted to promote.

            "Fine?" his smile faded a bit. "Maybe I should have gone with the low-rise."

            "No one can tell with that shirt anyway," I frowned. "What's the difference?"

            He rolled his eyes, announcing, "You're no help at all!" and walked back into the fitting room.

            The guy next to me looked at me with wide eyes.

            "That your girlfriend?" he asked, sounding amazed.

            "Not even close," I smirked at him.

            "What school do you go to?" he asked.

            "University of Minnesota."

            "You're a college student?" he seemed surprised. Apparently, not only did I look like a girl, but I looked really young.

            "A sophomore."

            "Are you serious?"

            "Yes," I looked at him. God, but he looked like a naive child. Did I ever look like that? Probably. A long time ago.

            "Sweetheart!"

            I looked up to see Kamatari swinging out in something else.

            "Those pants look more comfortable," was all I had to say about it.

            "But do they _look_ good?" he demanded.

            "Sure," I shrugged helplessly. Like I was supposed to know. I would not have known how they were supposed to look on a girl, let alone Kamatari. "Fine."

            That earned another exasperated look and a turned back. He went into the fitting room again, thank goodness. I groaned and rubbed my forehead to ease some of the tension there.

            "How did I get sucked into this?" I complained to no one in particular.

            "Derek! Who's _this?_"

            I had not even noticed the guy's girlfriend coming up to us. She had hold of 'Derek's hands and was looking down her nose at me like I was some sort of filth that the cat dragged in.

            "Uh..." the guy looked at me helplessly. "This is..."

            "Kenshin," I offered curtly.

            "Odd name," she commented, smiling blandly. "My first thought was 'Rebecca.' I'll bet you get that a lot."

            "No... that's the first anyone has called me that." That much, at least, was true. What a little brat.

            "Huh," she laughed, nice and false. I was beginning to regret ever having stood next to this guy. "Isn't that funny, though."

            "Sweetheart! I'm ready to go!" Kamatari waved at me as he walked toward the checkout counter.

            "Have fun at prom," I said to the pair, as nicely as I could manage when I wanted snap at that girl. I walked away, irritated and somewhat amused. I felt sorry for that guy. A hostile, jealous girl was not my idea of the ideal girlfriend.

            "Having a nice male-bonding session over there?" Kamatari wondered as I met him at the cashier.

            "The guy's girlfriend mistook me for a girl," I shook my head. "And treated me like the competition that needed to be eliminated."

            "Poor baby," Kamatari giggled and dropped his bag into my hands. "You know, if you wore tighter shirts, you wouldn't have so many mistakes."

            "It's a twenty-below wind-chill outside, Kamatari," I shook my head. "I'm not giving up my sweatshirts."

            "Then don't be so vain," he tapped my nose lightly and walked away. Shaking my head, I followed him. We still had more shopping to do, apparently.

^_^

            It became a regular thing. Friday afternoons, if I was in a mood, I would stop by Kamatari's room after class to see if he was there. Usually, he was. If he was not, then he was soon knocking on my door, claiming boredom and asking to do something.

            We did not always go out. Sometimes we borrowed a movie from the stash in the dorms and watched it in his room. Other times we would go study together in the library, later to meet Kaoru, Chou, and Sano for dinner. He dragged me shopping more than once, but it was infrequent enough that I could tolerate it. Besides, he was always interesting enough that I did not remain bored for long.

            "You know, Kenshin," Kaoru announced one Wednesday afternoon while we sat in the corridor of the English building, waiting for the earlier class to let out. "I'm jealous sometimes."

            "Really?" I glanced at her. Kaoru never struck me as the type to get jealous over anything.

            "You get to spend all this time with Kamatari," she said. "I miss all the times we hung out last semester. It was fun."

            "Yeah?" I grinned at her. That was a nice thing to know. Someone thought it was fun to spend time with me. A year ago, even Sano would have been hard pressed to call our time spent together 'fun.'

            "I think we should make more of an effort," she continued. "You know... like... like a certain time Sunday morning. We could go for coffee or something."

            "Don't you go to church Sunday?" I shook my head. It was a good idea, though. Of the people I knew, Kaoru was one of the few I would hate to lose as a friend. Kaoru and Sano. Something came to mind, and I looked at her. "You know... you never took me to your dojo."

            She blinked at me.

            "Dad took--"

            "Yeah, but you were the one who promised to take me," I interrupted, smirking at her. She looked about as confused as I had ever seen her. It was funny, and I chuckled. "You can make it up to me, though."

            "Oh?" she lifted her eyebrows in challenge. "How is that?"

            "I used to spar every now and then with Aoshi in the gym." I glanced up as students started filtering out of the classroom. "He's been spending a lot of his free time with his girlfriend lately," And guess who that was. Misao. I didn't know how he could handle it. I would go insane with that girl bouncing around me. "And I'm out of shape now."

            "You mean... your karate against my ju jitsu?" Kaoru asked blankly. She grinned when I nodded. "You want me to be your sparring partner?" I nodded again, and she laughed aloud. "Ooooh! This will be so much fun. Kenshin, I am going to kick your butt."

            I almost winced at that thought. If she was anywhere near the level of her father, then she probably would. But they say you never got stronger if you only faced challengers weaker than yourself.

            "Saturdays before lunch?" I offered as a time.

            "You're on! Ten o'clock at the gym," she confirmed.

            "Sounds good."

            She grinned and shoved me off the bench. I laughed and stumbled away, catching my balance as I walked into the room.

^_^

            That Friday, Kamatari walked into my room, his hair pulled half back and make-up applied lighter than usual. I knew something was up, and I looked at him suspiciously. He smiled.

            "Let's go skating," he suggested.

            "I can't skate," I replied, recalling the _last_ time I had tried it. I spent more time on my butt than skating around.

            "Everyone can skate," Kamatari retorted. "It'll be fun. I know of this great place in Woodbury."

            "That's about forty minutes away from here!"

            "It'll be fun!" Kamatari said again. "They've got the best cinnamon groovers around. And music."

            "Can't we just study or something?" I groaned, but he would hear nothing of it. He went so far as to hand me my jacket and shoes and push me to my feet.

            "Because it's so much more exciting to write an interpretive essay on a Friday afternoon," he snorted. "Come on."

            "I _like_ writing interpretive essays!" Sort of. Not really. But it was preferable to humiliating myself in a skating rink. I grumbled the entire time while Kamatari pulled me out of my room and to the elevator.

^_^

            Fun, my sore little ass. At least it was not on the ice. For some reason, smooth concrete did not seem to hurt quite as much. Unlike the ice-skating rink, this place had music playing almost the entire time we were there. It was a lot of famous oldies, such as _The Locomotion_, some of the more upbeat Beatles songs--so help me--the _YMCA_ song, and the likes. There were some songs that were a bit more recent, but not as much. People circled the large floor in roller blades, although a few still wore the traditional roller skates.

            Kamatari would not let me sit on the sidelines much. He did not like skating alone, apparently. To my embarrassment and some amusement, he took a little time trying to teach me to skate. The skating floor was rectangular to some extent, and no one really went into the far corners, so that was where we worked. He skated backwards, pulling me around by my hands.

            "Don't stare at the floor. Look up. Look at me," he scolded. I promptly fell over. I scowled up at him. He shook his head at me, laughing openly.

            "Well? I'm looking at you now!" I shouted over the music.

            "Come on! Try it again," he laughed, hauling me back to my feet. "Don't be so afraid to fall, sweetheart."

            "I'm not afraid to fall," I retorted. I had a death grip on his forearms and huddled closer to the ground as he pulled me around. "I have already resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to."

            He just laughed and told me to stop making him do all the work.

            I got a little better. I was even able to follow Kamatari around the edges of the circle of skaters without toppling every few feet. Of course, that was when they decided to light up the disco ball. The little white blobs of light circling around us made me dizzy, and I had to close my eyes against the disorientation. Kamatari rescued me from the floor. He pulled me to the side and suggested we get something to eat.

            "You know, sweetheart," Kamatari said around his hot dog. We were sitting at one of the picnic tables that lined the wall. Both of us had ordered a hot dog and one of those 'cinnamon groovers' Kamatari had said were so good. "You never fail to surprise me."

            "How's that?" I wondered, eyeing the ketchup that looked close to dripping off his hot dog. I pointed at it, and Kamatari quickly held it over his plate, saving his pants from a red stain.

            "You've lightened up a lot since I met you," he explained. "You used to be so touchy, but now..." he laughed. "Well, you're still touchy, but not so much."

            I rolled my eyes and shook my head. He grinned.

            "I'm serious!" he insisted. "Think about it. Last fall, would you have even considered coming here with me? With _anyone_?"

            I opened my mouth to contradict him, but I had to stop. He had a point. I frowned, considering it.

            While I thought on that, a couple guys walked up to our table and greeted us. Kamatari and I looked up curiously.

            They were about our age, maybe a little younger. They both carried an air of confidence that came with youth and being popular. I labeled them cocky. They grinned at us.

            "We noticed you were having some trouble on the floor," one of them--with wavy brown hair and hazel eyes--said. "Want some extra help?"

            Oh, for god's sake! I opened my mouth to reject the offer, but Kamatari beat me to it.

            "That sounds like fun!"

            I looked at him incredulously. Was he insane?! He smiled at me and stood. No way. Not a chance in hell.

            "My name's Jeremy," the brown-haired guy said. He gestured to his friend, a blue-eyed blond. "This is Kyle."

            "Kamatari," was the response of my deranged companion. "And this is Kenshin."

            "Kenshin?" Kyle held out his hand. "We're going to show you how it's done."

            This was a bad idea, in my opinion. The only reason any guys would offer to help someone else like this was if they expected to get something out of it. Like a girl's phone number or, better yet, a date. In the dim lighting of Wooddale Recreation Center, it was easy to mistake Kamatari for female. As much as I hated to admit it... it was probably the same for me.

            So those two boys--_Kyle_ and _Jeremy_--dragged me around the rink, Kamatari whipping along right beside us, laughing all the while. I was horrified, of course. First of all, we were going awfully fast. And second, what the hell were we doing? Deceits like this always ended badly. Didn't anyone ever watch movies? Read books?!

            "You're doing great, sweetheart!" Kamatari called out.

            "You just wait until I get my hands on you!" I shouted back, then yelped as the guys holding onto my arms decided to flip around and go _backwards_. I closed my eyes, feeling a bit sick to my stomach. Oh yes. When I got the wheels off my feet, I was going to throttle Kamatari. He was a dead man walking... skating.

^_^

            The afternoon ended. It was not a good ending, but it was not bad either. Those boys walked away disappointed when Kamatari smiled sweetly and turned down their offer of dinner. I was not happy with the way Kamatari had messed with them like that, but I was glad they had never discovered they were hitting on a couple of guys. The embarrassment was not something I cared to have.

            We went back to the dorms, exhausted and in fairly good spirits. Sano and Chou joined us, and we headed down to the cafeteria for some dinner.

^_^

            Kaoru kept her promise to beat me up. Our Saturday morning sparring session went rather well in spite of that. I was a little sore from skating the previous afternoon and slower because of it. It was somewhat useful, as I could use that as an excuse for why Kaoru was so thoroughly beating me.

            We took a break after about a half hour. Well, Kaoru was ready to continue. I was flat on my back, trying to catch my breath, so she sat down next to me while I recovered.

            "You know, Kenshin," Kaoru commented, wiping some of the sweat from her brow. "Spring break is coming up soon."

            "Yeah," I gasped. I barely heard her, though. More of my concentration was on the stitch in my side.

            "What's your plan?"

            "Uh..." I opened my eyes to stare at the ceiling, metal beams far above us. I tried to bring up what I was supposed to be doing over the spring break and momentarily drew a blank. Plan, plan, plan... what was the--the tickets! Ahhhhh... I had no idea. "Not sure yet."

            "Silly boy," she swatted the top of my head lightly. "You should decide soon."

            "I know..." I sighed, then rolled over and pushed myself to my hands and knees. "Ready to start again?"

            "You're not going to beat me."

            "That's what you think."

            She was right. I couldn't beat her. I spent that morning getting thrown around yet again. Why did I let people do this to me?

^_^

            Whoever said that Sundays were a day of rest never had to write a ten-page research paper. I woke up Sunday morning, aching from my weekend of falling--on the skating rink and on the gym mats--my mind on the paper that was due in just over a week. Breakfast was a hurried thing, eaten alone because no one else in his right mind got up at seven-thirty on a weekend.

            It was not as if I had not done some preliminary work. I had. In fact, most of the paper was written, but for my conclusion. But it was a very rough draft and twelve pages long. The professor did not want a paper that long, and rumor had it he would stop reading at page ten, whether or not it was finished. Thus, I would be docked points for not having a conclusion--which I would have, but he did not read it--and various other things. It was irritating.

            My attention was momentarily drawn from my homework when I walked past Kamatari and Chou's room. The door was open, which was odd because Chou never did the early morning thing. Someone probably got up to use the bathroom, but that did not explain the strange sounds I heard inside. Far too noisy for two sleepy or sleeping guys--not counting those who snored.

            Curious, I knocked lightly on the door and pushed it open slowly. Chou looked up, scowling at the intruder. He was sitting next to Kamatari on the latter's bed, a tissue box in his hands. Next to him, Kamatari blew his nose noisily and rubbed his sleeve over his eyes.

            Kamatari was crying.

            "Hey, what's going on?" I asked uneasily. "Kamatari?"

            Never had I thought I'd see Kamatari, of all people, like that. He was making a valiant effort to compose himself, but his face was still flushed, his eyes watery and bloodshot. Then, Chou was up and walking toward me, blocking Kamatari from my line of sight. I frowned at him.

            "Chou? What happened? What's wrong?" I demanded.

            He looked funny, too. Not like he was going to burst into tears or anything, but troubled.

            "This isn't a good time, kid," he said soberly.

            Chou kept walking toward me, bullying me out of the room with his greater size. I stumbled back, confused and worried about Kamatari. The man had not said a thing against Chou's actions, so he must not have wanted me in there. Not that I was so vain to expect he would request I stay, but to force me out? And, I guess, Chou _had_ known him longer.

            "Sorry," Chou muttered, then shut the door in my face. I stared at the door, at the stupid-looking name tags the CA had posted on it, wondering what the hell had just happened. My mind was plenty active, offering possibilities. Someone had died, someone got hurt, someone hurt _Kamatari_--that one made me tense up in anger--he was stressed out over school... the possibilities were endless. I half expected him to come out and say, "Sweetheart, I'm dying."

            But Kamatari did not come out of the room. That door remained sealed shut, showing no signs of opening soon. There was not much else to do, and I could not stand in the hall, staring at the door all day like an idiot, so I went back to my room.

            I made very little progress on my paper that afternoon.

^_^

            It was quite some time before I ever found out what was wrong with Kamatari that Sunday morning. He never volunteered the information, and I did not want to ask. He went around like usual, smiling and laughing just the same as always. One afternoon that week, when I glanced in his room to see him tapping away on his computer, he even waved me in.

            "How's life, sweetheart?" he asked, clicking a few times and turning off his computer monitor. I glanced at the dark monitor curiously, then smiled nervously at him.

            "Not much," I sat on his bed, watching him turn in his chair and kick up his feet to prop them on the corner of his desk. "You?"

            "Just sent off an email to the folks," he tilted his head to look at me. "I'm going to West Virginia over spring break." He rolled his eyes. "A heck of a time for a family reunion, but that's when we've always done it."

            "Your relatives live near the capital?" I asked.

            "The capital of West Virginia?" he asked, teasing me. I frowned at him.

            "Nooooo," I shook my head. "Washington, D.C."

            "Oooohhhhhh," he feigned comprehension. "Not really. Other side of the state."

            I nodded, then sighed and leaned back against the wall.

            "I'm not sure what I'm doing yet," I admitted.

            "Going home?" he offered with a knowing smile.

            "Ah hah. I don't know," I wrinkled my nose in distaste. Even if I had made up with my uncle, we still were not overly close. It was not like I wanted to take up a hobby with him or anything. "Actually, I've got a couple of plane tickets that I'm supposed to use, but I don't really know... it's awfully expensive."

            "I can understand that," he nodded solemnly. "I'm in something of the same boat, myself."

            "Really?" I looked at him expectantly. What was this? Something involving last Sunday? "What's that?"

            He smiled, but it was not so happy as usual.

            "I was on a waiting list for Harvard... its law school," he explained, absently studying his nails, then picking up a nail file from his desk and going to work on his thumb. "If I want, I can transfer there next fall."

            My mind was temporarily blank. That was one of the most prestigious schools in the country. I knew Kamatari was pretty smart, but it never occurred to me that he was _that_ smart.

            "Whoa," I blurted finally. "Really? I mean... that's great!"

            He would be leaving, though. Going far away, and those of us at the U would likely not see him again--or at least for a very long time. But such an opportunity was not something a person should ignore. I knew that as well as anyone.

            "You think so?" he looked at me with that funny little smile again. "I'm supposed to send in my acceptance soon, or they'll call the next person on the list."

            Was this what he had been so upset about? I was not sure. In a way, I kind of hoped it was. At least that meant no one had died.

            "I think it's something to be proud of," I said frankly. "Not everyone can go to places like that. Look at me. I was barely accepted by the state university. Even Aoshi missed getting into that place."

            "I didn't know Aoshi had applied to Harvard," Kamatari smirked.

            I smiled confidently, not admitting that I did not know either. Kamatari did not need to know that. It was a fairly safe assumption, I thought. Of course... Aoshi might not have gotten the kind of study grants from Harvard that he could get from the U of M.

            I glanced at the clock and sighed.

            "I've got to go."

            "Class?" he asked sympathetically.

            "Psych," I nodded. "It's a lot of reading."

            "Let me know if you want a tutor," he smirked. "I aced that class."

            "I'll come prepared with my books and dunce cap," I replied, shooting him a glare as I walked out of the room. Cocky bastard. Kamatari just laughed and waved as I left. Oh well. Some people were just better at some things than others.

^_^

Notes: Hmmmm, turned out to be very long, so again I've split this whole thing. It may expand into three chapters, but that's okay too. 

Return of the **Random Omake**!

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* That was when they decided to light up the disco ball.

**Skaters**: *start dancing a la _Saturday Night Fever_ and singing* Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stayin' alive! Stayin' _aliiiiiiiive__!_

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* It was the most traumatizing experience of my life.

Reviewers:

**Gypsy-chan**: No, Enishi was not the driver. His involvement in Kenshin's life comes later… Now I'm craving something sweet. *considering a stop at Baker Square tonight*

**Fuuko****-san: Sano and Kaoru are meant to be Kenshin's closest friends, so I'm glad you think that.**

**C-Chan & Eko**: Goodness. I did not think it was sad enough to make anyone cry. But I'm sometimes emotionally stunted when it comes to that, so who am I to say? And Eko? I forgive you.

**aku-chan: Didn't you know? Tomoe's on that list of 'expendable characters.' Like all the people in _Star Wars who don't have names. They're always the first to die. And, you know? I always wanted to read _The Princess Bride_, but I've never been able to find it in the library._**

**Crystal**: Kenshin: I was not that emotional.

Fitz: You cried.

Sano: Twice.

Kenshin: Well… uh… *sticks his tongue out*

Fitz: Real mature, Kenshin.

**nekonomiko: Not really a cliffhanger, actually. And I'll be going away from the whole Kenshin/Kaoru thing for awhile. Don't worry. I'll get back to it eventually.**

**marstanuki: Bad? I'm not that bad. And that epilogue thing… I'm not sure. But it's an interesting idea. I'll think about it.**

**Hana**** Himura: Can't say much to that. Here's the update.**

**tesuka-chan: *blink* Not usually the reaction a person expects, but I guess that's okay. I have a hard time picturing Kenshin crying as well. But as a teenage boy… it's a little easier. Boys, in general, don't cry as much as girls, though. Fewer tear ducts, supposedly… can't recall where I read that.**

**Chiki**: How many times? Oooh, I'd have to go back and count, and I'm too lazy to do that… I like that concept of pie… *imagining a second stomach in a person* Odd.

**Gochan**: Yeah, I made Kenshin a bit of a brat in this section, didn't I? Ah, well. Everyone has selfish moments. *props Kaoru and Sano up on pedestals* Our very own bestest friends. Kenshin doesn't deserve them.

Sano: Damned right, he doesn't!

Kenshin: Oro…

**Vesca**: Poor dear. I hope you're feeling better. I'm glad you liked the story. I realize Kenshin was swinging through some wild behavior, but he's getting better.

Kenshin: I hate you all.

Fitz: A little better.

**MinaXP**: Ummmm… slight misconception there. It _is K/K, if you want to be picky about details. What I meant is that their relationship is not strictly the purpose of this story. So, be forewarned. I will eventually address the pair and I can't exclude her from this particular story as I've wound her very tightly into Kenshin's life. Sorry._

**omochi: I'm trying to keep it up. Thanks. *glances at other story that has piqued Fitz's interest…* Not a good sign.**

**me**: Wow. Odd, that name. Aoshi is… coming. Eventually. I have all this stuff I want to stick into this story, and I'm trying. Honest.


	17. Hesitations

**Disclaimer**: *muttergrumble* I don't own anything, anywhere, ever. *Mumble*

**Notes**: So, here we are again with another update. I don't have a lot to say about this chapter, actually… stuff happens. Yeah… stuff.

Kaoru: That sounds weird, Fitz.

Fitz: Yeah? Well… well… _Thingy!_

Kaoru: …That's much better.

**Warnings**: Not much… inappropriate conversations over a meal, mentions of a woman's monthly visitor.

Fitz: *sigh* Being a woman sucks.

Yahiko: You're a woman?

Kenshin: *groan* Note to self: Teach Yahiko tact.

Fitz: *snicker*

Kenshin: Oro!

On we go!

My Life

            The days passed. Then weeks, and the month changed from January to February which would turn to March all too soon. My classes were going well. I was pleased with how I did, considering my GPA had been less than admirable in senior high. Forever ago, I used to be quite the bright student. I actually enjoyed school, was on the track team, and had a lot of friends. Amazing what a little snow storm could change.

            I would never be like that again. It was not so much that I did not want it. In fact, to be that silly, carefree kid again would have made life so much easier. The reality of the situation was that I could not erase everything I'd done nor could I correct the countless mistakes I'd made. No one was capable of that. 

            Frankly, I was happy with how things were. Sure, I went through bouts of depression, had problems with the people and events around me... but who didn't? It was the first time in a long while that I felt that way.

            But, for the moment, I had a problem. It weighed on my mind as I sat at my desk and looked up at the message board on the wall, where the envelope was pinned.

            _What am I going to do about those tickets?_

            I had thought over the possibilities countless times, and I had yet to come up with anything that satisfied me. If I did not do something soon, it was going to be too late, and all that money Kaoru spent on airplane tickets would go to waste.

            "Why so glum, sweetheart?"

            I glanced up at Kamatari and blinked. He looked... different. It was obvious he knew it by the smirk on his face, but I still had to stare.

            His hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, almost making it look short. Then, his clothes... he was wearing standard guy clothing. Sort of. It was a little dressed up, actually, with black slacks and an oxford-style shirt complete with a tie. Not only that, but his face was scrubbed clean--no cosmetics. None whatsoever.

            "You almost look like a guy!" I blurted. He snorted.

            "'Almost'?" he echoed back.

            "Uh... well, you're still, I mean..." I had not meant it to sound quite so bad. "Um, what's up?"

            He grinned and spun around to give me the full effect of his new attire.

            "I've got a job interview," he explained. "With a little law firm in the city. Ever heard of Mr. Vellum*?"

            "No..." Was I supposed to?

            "I suppose you wouldn't," he smirked and brushed some imaginary lint off his sleeve. "He's a rather well-known lawyer around here. If this interview goes well, I could have an internship over the summer as an assistant in his firm."

            "Why the change in clothes?" I asked blankly. Some of his other clothes were nice, too. I did not see the need for the radical change. Apparently, I should have, though, because Kamatari wrinkled his nose and rolled his eyes at me.

            "Appearance is very important, sweetheart," he said matter-of-factly. "A well-dressed young man is more likely to get a job than a weirdo with a fetish for rouge."

            "That's not a fetish," I said, still a bit confused. It still did not quite click. Kamatari looked at me, then sighed and sat on the edge of my futon.

            "It's a world where difference will get a person eaten alive," he said bluntly. "I really want this internship, sweetheart, and I'd probably get it whether or not I changed my clothes."

            It all made sense, even before Kamatari finished.

            "I get along fine here, but it's different in the workplace," he murmured. "I've put up with the crap before, and I don't want to do it again. It's better not to be so open, you know?"

            The truth hurt. An idiotic little thing popped into my head as I stared at Kamatari. It was the thing kids used to say in grade school: _Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me._ Sticks and stones... people still said that, even at our age. Never with the little sing-song, granted. That held true to some extent, actually--for a six-year-old. Kids forgot those things before the day ended. But teenagers and adults. That saying should have been changed.

            Sticks and stones may vary well break some bones. As for words... they didn't just hurt, they maimed. It was hard to imagine someone as cheerful as Kamatari ever having anyone speak bad about him. Just from the things people said to _me_, I knew it must have been awful. And I didn't even wear the women's clothing.

            "Perk up, sweetheart," Kamatari laughed, but it sounded a bit strained. "You're supposed to tell me if you like the look."

            "Uh..."

            "Come _on!_" he pouted. "You're being like you were when I tried on clothes at Express."

            I felt my face heat at the mere mention of that. God, but that had been an embarrassing situation.

            "It looks okay, Kamatari," I said quickly. "You look good. Just... different... I guess."

            "Different good or different bad?" he countered

            "Just different," I frowned at him. I could not say it was one way or the other. It really wasn't. I was used to him in women's clothing, but he could pull this off as well. He looked... less content in this clothing, though.

            "That bad?" he groaned.

            "No!" I protested. He was laughing at me, and I scowled at him. "Idiot. It's just that you barely look like you. It looks fine, it just doesn't look..." I hesitated, trying to figure out what I really wanted to say, then ended rather lamely, "look right."

            Kamatari grinned and reached up to pat my cheek lightly. You'd think I made his day with that. I'd practically insulted him, and he smiled at me.

            "I knew I was right to call you sweetheart," he announced. I shook my head at him. Idiot. "Chou invited chickie who invited Megumi, and we're watching a movie in our room tonight. Darling and his friends are coming too. You want to join us?"

            "Aoshi's watching a movie with you and Chou?" I asked, incredulous. Although, if his friends had been involved in making that decision, it made more sense.

            "We'll really be stuffing it with Hyottoko, but we'll pile onto the beds," Kamatari said with a smirk.

            I groaned, recalling my times when Aoshi's friends were around. Shikijou seemed to like me for some reason and always tried to draw me into their conversations. I just did not understand them.

            "Sure, I'll come," I agreed. "I'm supposed to get together with Kaoru today for awhile, though. Think she could fit into the room?" Assuming she even wanted to come. She was a little leery of Aoshi.

            "She's smaller than you, sweetheart," Kamatari said with a smile. "If all else fails, we can find volunteers and stick one or both of you in someone's lap."

            "Ha ha ha," I deadpanned.

            "Why not?" Kamatari stood to leave. "You're small enough to fit in my lap. Kaoru can sit in... Chou's lap."

            That one made me crack up. The image just would not come. If anyone tried to sit on Chou, he would send them tumbling to the floor. Although, Kaoru knew enough martial arts that she'd probably turn the tables on him. The thought of Kaoru flipping Chou to the floor just made me laugh again.

            "You're easily amused, sweetheart," Kamatari declared. "Wish me luck?"

            "Of course," I nodded at him. "Good luck, Kamatari. You'll get the job."

            He grinned, then leaned forward abruptly and planted a kiss on my forehead. I blinked at him as he pulled away. He was still smiling, so I smiled hesitantly in return.

            "Thanks, sweetheart," he murmured. "See you later."

            He rushed out, his little ponytail bobbing behind him. It really did look funny--not amusing, but odd. But I understood what he was doing. I was bothered by it, but I understood.

            I sighed. Now... what to do about those tickets.

^_^

*This name has been changed a bit from the original. The lawyer actually exists, and is part of Fitz's extended family. (Note that Fitz couldn't tell you much beyond his name and his career choice.) And he is well known… I've seen streets that use his family name. That's all I'll say about him, though.

^_^

            "_Oooof!_"

            Kaoru landed with a solid thud on the gym mat. I blinked down at her incredulously, and she managed a pained smile in return.

            "I think..." she panted. She must have had the wind knocked from her. "That it's... time... to call... it a day..."

            It was somewhat broken and difficult to understand, but I figured out what she'd said. I stared at her, still trying to comprehend what I had just done.

            "Oh, stop looking so proud of yourself," she grumbled, pushing herself to her hands and knees.

            I had beaten her! It took an effort not to grin and laugh in my excitement. Weeks of this, hours of training with Kaoru, and this was the first time I had been clever enough to defeat her. Cool.

            "You okay?" I had to ask. She looked fine. A little disgruntled, but okay.

            "Sure," she took a deep breath and grinned at me. "You've gotten a lot better, Kenshin."

            "You think?" I looked at her.

            "On occasion," she replied, walking to the drinking fountain.

            What? I stared after her blankly, taking a moment to comprehend that weird response. It made sense... sort of... in a strange kind of way. I frowned and followed Kaoru.

            "Spring break is in two weeks," Kaoru observed, leading the way back to the locker rooms. "You decided what you're going to do yet?"

            "Um... sort of," I sighed. "I've got hotel reservations..." I glanced at her. "Do you have any idea how much it costs to stay in a San Francisco hotel for five nights?"

            "Do you need some help paying--"

            "No!" I scowled at her, offended that she would even ask. I thought she knew I did not like that. We had discussed it weeks--no, _months_--ago.

            "Sorry!" she blushed and covered her mouth lightly. "So... who'd you decide to take with you?"

            I shrugged, and she stared at me.

            "You haven't decided?"

            Too embarrassed to say anything, I just shook my head. The floor needed to be polished. There were dings and scrapes in the finish. Funny, the things a person notices when he's trying not to look at someone else.

            Kaoru started laughing. Startled, I looked up at her, wondering just what was so funny. She giggled again, shoving my arm lightly and shaking her head.

            "Kenshin, you're hopeless!" she announced. "What about Sanosuke?"

            "You know him and Megumi," I shrugged uneasily. "A week is a long time in their terms."

            "Hmmm," she thought again. "Aoshi?"

            I wrinkled my nose in distaste, and she laughed again.

            "Maybe not..." she tapped her chin thoughtfully. "What about Kamatari?"

            "He's going to a family reunion," I shook my head again.

            Kaoru sighed and looked at me in exasperation. I smiled and could not make myself ask her. Honestly... how hard was it? I just had to open my mouth and say...

            "You want to go, um..." I tugged at my ponytail lightly, irritated at the hair on my neck. "You want to go get something to eat?"

            She stared at me for a long time, and I got the distinct impression I had not said the right thing. I probably hadn't. I was good at screwing that stuff up. My blunder just seconds ago, trying to invite Kaoru along with me was proof enough of that.

            "Sure, Kenshin," she smiled brightly. Apparently, all was forgiven. "Burger King?" Okay... maybe not. I scowled at her.

            "Not funny."

            She giggled and waved, turning to go to the girls' locker room.

            "I'll meet you in twenty," she called.

            "Sure," I replied weakly. Twenty... it always took girls so long to get ready. I shook my head and went into the guys' locker room. Even with long hair to wash, I could usually do it in about ten minutes. Well... it was still cold outside. I could dry my hair a bit before going to meet Kaoru again.

^_^

            We ate at Bruegger's Bagels, as it was the closest fast food place around that Kaoru liked. She picked out a table and sat with our drinks while I waited for our food. I handed her a bag as I sat across from her. She smiled, taking it from me and immediately digging through the contents.

            "Mmmm, I'm starved!" she declared. "What'd you get?"

            "BLT," I pulled out my own sandwich-on-a-bagel, and we settled down to eat in somewhat awkward silence. Well, Kaoru looked perfectly content, stuffing her face like that. _I_ thought it was uncomfortable. But did I try to break the silence? Of course not.

            "You know..." Kaoru said around a mouthful of sandwich. "I always wondered why you hated Burger King so much." She swallowed and drank some pop. "I mean, I understand the whole 'aversion to TGIF' thing, but what about the fast food place? It seems kind of random."

            "Umm," I agreed, smiling wryly. "Let's just say that Burger King's cheeseburgers don't taste quite as good the second time around."

            "Oh ew!" Kaoru groaned. "How'd that happen?"

            "Just a bad night out," I shrugged. All those parties from when I'd been in high school were not something I was about to tell her. Not only was I just a tiny bit ashamed at what I had done, but some of those details were rather... inappropriate, and I was not going to share that kind of information with a girl. Hell, I probably would never explain any of that to Sano!

            "OD on something?" she asked nervously.

            "No," I smiled and shook my head. "I never did that. It's kind of complicated, Kaoru. Let's just leave it at that."

            She looked at me oddly, then frowned worriedly. Crap. She was still remembering that spell from last January. I had no intention of breaking down like that again. Of course... I had not meant to do it then, but this was a little different. It did not hurt like that did.

            "It's embarrassing, Kaoru," I said before she could rebuke me for being secretive again. "And it's not exactly something you discuss over lunch in a public restaurant."

            "Are you sure?" she asked cautiously. "The last time you--"

            "This isn't the last time!" I scowled, hating how my cheeks heated up. She was never going to let me live that down! "I said I was sorry about that. It was stupid and childish, and can we just forget it ever happened?" _Pleeeeeease?_ I looked at her, begging her without saying anything.

            Kaoru looked at me skeptically for a few seconds, and then she sighed.

            "Okay, Kenshin," she said reluctantly. "But only if you promise it's not something that's bothering you."

            Bothering me? I rarely thought about it unless someone else brought it up.

            "I promise," I insisted. "I swear on... on my parents' grave that it's not going to end like last time."

            She looked at me shrewdly.

            "Not your sister's?" she demanded.

            "I only swear on her grave if it's something _really_ serious," I retorted, glaring at her only half in irritation. She smiled and picked up her straw. I was surprised she had not drunk anything yet. I shook my head and went back to eating my lunch as she tore off the end of the paper covering the straw.

            Something hit my hair, and I blinked at a little white thing hanging in my vision. Kaoru giggled, and I pulled the thing down. It was her straw cover. I crumpled the thing up and tossed it back at her. Kaoru gasped, jerking back in her chair, and I glanced at her in amusement.

            "Kenshin, you dork!" she grabbed the front of her button-down shirt and shook it back and forth. I snickered. By some random stroke of luck, the crumpled wad of paper had gone down the front of her shirt. Kaoru glared at me and kicked my ankle under the table.

            "Ow!" I jumped back, nearly knocking my chair over. People in the little restaurant were staring at us, and I settled back down, trying to ignore the throbbing in my leg. Damned pointy-toed boots. Kaoru, though, was still trying to dig that paper out of her shirt, and I smirked again. "Real nice, Kaoru. People are staring at you."

            She turned an interesting shade of pink and reluctantly released her shirt. She grimaced and reached for her food again.

            "Idiot," she sniffed.

            "You asked for it," I replied, searching for a napkin. That sandwich had drained tomato juice and mayo all over me.

            "See if I ever ask you out to movies again," she grumbled.

            I glanced at her, making sure she was not serious. She smiled triumphantly, and I sighed, cleaning my hands.

            "You done?"

            "Yeah," she picked up her drink. "Proofread my Sociology report?"

            "Sure."

            The trash thunked down in the bin, and we left the shop.

^_^

            Sano and Megumi were hanging around his house for spring break. Kamatari was going to the coast for a reunion. Aoshi and Misao were going to visit each others' respective homes. And Chou was going on a road trip with some of his buddies. Not only that, but it was Monday, and the date on the plane tickets was for the coming Saturday.

            I had to ask Kaoru, and I had to ask her that day. That was all there was to it.

            She picked up off the second ring. "'lo?"

            "Eating?" I asked, hearing the odd thickness of the word. There was a brief pause before she answered, confirming my suspicion.

            "Of course not!" she laughed.

            "What are you having?"

            "Peanut butter sandwich," she sighed.

            I smirked. She hated talking on the phone with food in her mouth. Apparently, it was a social blunder like no other. Like I really cared if she snacked while we talked.

            "What's up, Kenshin?" she asked. Whoops. I had let that silence drag on for quite some time.

            "What are you doing next week?" I asked quickly, before I could change my mind.

            A long silence followed the question. It would just figure if she already had plans. With my luck, she would.

            "Kaoru?" I asked hesitantly. If she was not going to say anything... I was sure she knew what my real question was. Kaoru might have been ditzy on occasion, but she was not stupid. With how she had been bugging me about spring break and that trip, she would recognize the significance of such a leading question. So I decided to just ask her outright. "Um... the reason I was asking was... well, I know it's kind of late, but... I thought maybe you'd like to, uh..." I never claimed to be smooth. In fact, I slopped and stumbled through a few more 'um's and 'ah's before actually asking the question. "So would you like to go to San Francisco next week?"

            After that, there was only a brief pause before she answered. It was not exactly the type of response I would have liked.

            "Gone through the rest of your list so you finally settling for the last choice?" she asked quietly. It took me a minute to comprehend her bitter reply. I didn't get it. Honestly, she had never done or said anything that would have made me think she felt this way. And that was _not_ what I had been doing! She was not the last choice! If that was the case, I would have been asking Uncle Hiko.

            "N-no!" I stammered, trying to come up with a response. I was so confused! What did she mean by that? "Kaoru, I didn't... I didn't mean it to sound like... It's not like that! I..."

            "What, Kenshin?" her voice was so quiet and cool. I did not know what to make of it. Selfish as it seemed, I had thought--and hoped--she would jump at the opportunity to go to California. And I rather liked to think she would not mind coming with me. The confusion just built, and it was ticking me off.

            "I just..." I trailed off. What did she want me to say? What _could_ I say? "I didn't mean it like that."

            "That's not what it sounds like."

            What the hell?! Was she just in a bad mood or something? Kaoru was never like this! What did I do that deserved--scratch that. I was not going to even go there.

            "Forget it," I said, really angry by this point. She was twisting it all around, and I could not keep up with some girl's pissy mood. "Forget I even asked. I'll talk to you later, Kaoru."

            "Ken--"

            I didn't want to hear it. If she was just trying to make me mad--or guilty--then she was doing a damned good job of it. I hung up on her, too angry to think straight. Glaring once at the phone, as if she could feel the stare through the disconnected line, I walked out of my room, shutting the door against the sound of the ringing phone. Better that I cool down before trying to talk to her again.

^_^

            It would have been easier to avoid Kaoru if I did not have class with her every Tuesday and Thursday. As it was, I did manage to avoid talking to her until English was over. That had more to do with the fact that I forgot to set my alarm and woke up twenty minutes later than usual that morning than any set plan.

            After class, Kaoru did not even bother packing her bag. She just walked right over to my desk while I was filing my papers in my folder and slapped both of her hands down on the laminate surface, startling me into looking up. I frowned at her, and she glared right back at me. No way was I going to take the hit on this one. Sure, I should have asked a lot sooner, but she was the one who blew things all out of proportion.

            "You hung up on me!" she stated irately.

            "Why keep talking to someone who won't listen?" I shot back, looking away to continue packing my bag. I had another class in an hour on the other bank, and I felt like walking. It would take four times longer, so there was no point in wasting time. And if Kaoru was just going to yell at me, then it was a waste of time.

            Kaoru snatched my book out of my hand, and I had to stop.

            "Look at me!" she demanded. I looked at her. She was not scowling anymore. Of course she wasn't. Instead, she looked like she was going to cry. Shit.

            "Now just a minute!" I protested as she sniffled. "Don't do that!"

            "You _jerk!_" she shouted in my face. I could smell the peanut butter on her breath. That answered the question on what kind of breakfast she had eaten that morning. Of course, my ears were not liking the volume of her voice at such a close proximity. I blinked at her in alarm.

            "You don't have to yell, Kaoru," I muttered. "I can hear you just fine. What's your problem anyway?"

            "Do you have _any_ idea what it feels like?!" she asked, still sounding on the verge of tears. I was grateful there weren't any classes after this--not to mention that everyone else had retreated from the room.

            "What _what_ feels like?!" Couldn't she just get to the point? What did I _do_?

            "You know, I've been hoping since the day I gave you those that you'd invite me along, but I thought I'd be nice about it and let you choose who you wanted to bring," she said, rushing through the words like she had been bottling them up for awhile. She probably had. "And I know you've got other friends--_guy_ friends--you'd rather go with, but... but... Stop _staring_ at me like that!"

            "You would have yelled at me for being selfish if I was the one saying all this," I replied, too bewildered to think about my words before I said them. If I had thought more about it, I don't think I would have said it quite like that. Fortunately, Kaoru did not take it too badly. She stared at me in shock.

            "Am I being that selfish?" she asked.

            "If I say no, you'll go back to being mad at me for not asking you earlier, and if I say yes, you'll be mad at me for insulting you," I shook my head. "Look, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings on this. I didn't mean to do that. I was..." I was not going to admit I was too chicken to ask her. Not aloud in any rate. I sighed and shrugged. "Why didn't you say anything?"

            Kaoru groaned and sank down to crouch in front of me, folding her arms on the desk. She looked up at me, poking her lip out and crunching her eyebrows together in a pout.

            "I was afraid you'd think I was being presumptuous," she admitted. Hah! So I was not the only person around who wimped out on these things. "And I wasn't really sure if you liked me much last Christmas."

            "If I didn't like you, I never would have accepted your invitation to stay at your house over break," I said. For a student taking honors classes, she could be an idiot at times. "So, do you want to come or not? 'Cause if you don't, I'm going to have to ask a family member, and I'd sooner go alone than suffer through that."

            "I didn't think your uncle was that bad," she giggled.

            "That's because he _likes_ you," I grumbled. "I'm his nephew so he has to love me, but he thinks I'm an annoying brat."

            "You're not annoying," Kaoru assured me.

            "But I'm a brat?" I asked.

            "You can be."

            Well thanks. How very nice of her to tell me that. Even if it was the truth. I tilted my head at her slightly. She had not answered the original question.

            "San Francisco?" I prompted.

            "Don't be a dummy, Kenshin," she grinned and stood straight. "I'll arrange for a ride to drop us at the airport Saturday."

            I sighed and zipped my bag, finally standing to leave.

            "You couldn't have made this easier on me," I complained.

            "Sorry, Kenshin," Kaoru hooked her arm through mine and smiled at me sweetly. "I tend to get bitchy around this time of the month."

            "If you start telling me about your cycles, I am going to retract that invitation," I informed her. She laughed and pulled me out the door.

            "Don't worry," she patted my arm. "I'll be done menstruating in a couple days."

            Dear god! I thought I just might be sick.

^_^

End Notes: Ahhh, the dreaded monthly cycle. PMS is not all that uncommon, actually.

Sano: *points a finger at Fitz and whispers* Stay away from her the entire week before that time of the month.

Fitz: Hey!

Sano: *still whispering* Scary as hell, she is.

Fitz: *growl*

Kenshin: Umm, maybe we should talk about something else, guys.

Fitz: *weak snarl* …Okay. Next chapter is a bit more serious.

Kenshin: You realize they're all going to hate you, Fitz-dono.

Fitz: Yeah, but it's my right.  
Kenshin: *sigh* What if _I_ hate you?

Fitz: We all know that's not possible.

Kenshin: Crud.

To the Reviewers:

**C-Chan**: When? Not sure yet. It'll happen… eventually.

**Val**: Ah… San Francisco. There's your answer.

**Luce**: Odd coupling… I've never seen it done, actually. A side-slashy thing, hm? *snicker* I don't know that I'm capable of writing something with Kenshin and Kamatari much beyond what I've already got.

**omochi**: I'm not sure how I'll handle Kamatari in that respect. It's in the works.

**Gypsy-chan**: Not much of a skating rink person myself. Something about skating in circles bores me. And I was decent enough that no one bothered asking me if I needed help. Gah! I wouldn't _dream_ of killing off Kamatari. Banish those thoughts from your mind!

Kenshin: *Looking between Slim Fast health drink and a chocolate brownie* Gee. It's so tough to choose. *picks up brownie*

I don't think that diet thing will work for Kenshin.

**Fuuko-san**: Lucky guy or girl? *snicker*

**marstanuki**: *gag* Kaoru/Saitou?!

Kenshin: *Battousai mode* Saitou, stay away from Kaoru-dono.

Saitou: Do you claim her as your woman, Battousai?

Kenshin: *nervous twitching* Um… no. I'm just disgusted by the thought of you two together.

Saitou: *sweatdrop*

Kaoru: Kenshin no baka!

**Gochan**: Thanks for the compliment. I agree on Misao and Aoshi being an unlikely pair, but… it's just so cute! I can't help but put them together.

**Hana Himura**: It's okay to smile like an idiot. People think you're a dingbat sometimes if you're by yourself and doing that, but that's okay.

**Gemin16**: I'm glad you're patient. That question actually gets answered in the next chapter.

**kurara**: Kamatari's a doll. I'll make him all better. *pulls out pretend doctor kit*

Kamatari: … ^_^;;

**Calger459**: Wow. 5 hours? I don't think I'd have the patience for that. Mm, and I loved Kamatari when he got all serious and started to actually fight. *imagining fics hopping around and multiplying like rabbits* Odd…

**Chiki**: It is a traditional coupling fic, but I'm pretty slow at getting those two together. And Kamatari is so happy that he has such a large fandom.

**Crystal**: Kenshin: I thought I was supposed to be the invincible warrior.

Fitz: Not in this story, honey.

Kenshin: Poot.

**tesuka-chan**: Ever heard of singles' bars? This is a singles' skating rink.

**Vesca**: *throws around streamers and confetti* Whoot! Vesca's all better! And that's sad about your friend, but I'm being pretty good to Kamatari in that department.


	18. It's gonna rain

**Disclaimer**: I own Rurouni Kenshin… merchandise. Ha! Almost had you fooled there, didn't I?

Yahiko: No.

Fitz: Crud.

**Notes**: So… last Monday I got a new cover for my cell phone. It's got Care Bears on it. *huggles phone* Heehee! It just makes me all tingly. Stop rolling your eyes! Care Bears rule! (Not as much as She-Ra, but it's hard to outdo the princess of power.)__

**Warnings**: One big one that I can't say without spoiling part of the chapter. You're all going to hate me, though. Nothing much I can do about that, I guess. Definite shonen ai content (but with Kamatari, we should expect that, right?)

My Life

            By Friday night, I was so wound up I thought I would never get to sleep. The prospect of actually going on this trip had me uneasy, nervous, and excited all at once. I paced the room, double-checked that I had everything packed, made sure my tickets were in plain sight with the rest of my travel gear, and then started all over again. It was going to drive me nuts.

            The weather had been nice all week, and I would have considered going for a run to get rid of some of the excess energy, but--of course--it chose to rain that night. It was pouring outside and it certainly was not a warm rain. Only an idiot would have gone running across the University campus at eight o'clock at night in a cold rainstorm. And I liked to think that I had at least _some_ common sense. Otherwise I would have been calling Kaoru Saturday morning to tell her I couldn't go because I was on the way to the hospital with a bad case of pneumonia.

            Kamatari saved me from my restlessness. He was one of the few people left at the dorm that night, although not for long. His ride to the airport for _his_ trip was due to arrive at nine-thirty. Poor guy. He had a late flight and would get to his destination in the wee hours of the morning. At least I would get to San Francisco at a reasonable hour, even if we did have to get to the airport by six the next morning.

            "Excited, sweetheart?" Kamatari asked, inviting himself into my room. I glanced at him and nodded.

            "It's only the second time I've ever been on a plane," I admitted. That, of course, was counting that round trip to Europe as one plane ride, but I was not going to get into the details.

            "I'm so jealous," Kamatari sat on my bed, picking up my gorilla and depositing it in his lap. He smiled up at me. "You're going to have a lot of fun."

            "I'll bet," I sat on the bed next to him, leaning back against the wall. I sighed. "I hope so. I'm not sure how Kaoru and I will do together for such a long time... We set each other off sometimes."

            "That sweet little girl?" Kamatari chuckled. "I don't believe you."

            "Don't believe what?" I looked at him.

            "I don't believe she ever gets mad," he grinned at me.

            "Apparently I have a talent for pissing people off," I replied, smirking back. "You looking forward to your own trip?"

            "Eh," he shrugged and looked down at the stuffed animal in his lap. "It'll be okay, I'm sure. I'll miss everyone here."

            "Careful," I warned with a smile. "You're the Harvard student next year."

            "Maybe," he shook his head. He laughed. "You know... I wish I could take you with me to the reunion."

            Hm? That was odd.

            "Why?"

            "You're so ingenuous," he smiled and looked at me again. "You never seem to mind my... oddness. Not that I let it bug me that others do, but it's nice to find someone once in awhile that will hang around with me without acting self-conscious about how I look and act."

            "...Oh." Well. Quite the compliment, coming from him. I was startled. "Well... maybe sometime." That was weak, but it was the best I could offer on short notice. Kamatari didn't seem to mind. Not once bit. Actually... it brought about an unexpected and rather alarming response from him.

            "Sweetheart, I would love that," he murmured. He reached up and pushed some of my hair out of my face, going so far as to tuck it behind my ear. I glanced at him, wondering where his mind was that he was acting so pensive.

            He kissed me. Just like that. His hand already by my face, he just leaned forward, his fingers wrapping behind my neck, getting tangled in my hair, and kissed me.

            It wasn't like that time when Okita kissed me. That drunken idiot was just being clever about the whole situation, and I knew it was a joke. This was different somehow. For one, it was a bit more prolonged. And Kamatari was so careful about it... like he was afraid to hurt me or something. He didn't hurt me, but he sure as hell shocked me.

            This was a problem. My eyes were so wide it hurt by the time Kamatari pulled back. His eyes had been closed, and when he opened them, his gaze was lazy and unfocussed.

            "Kamatari..." I had to resist the urge to wipe my mouth. The situation was bad enough without insulting him. "I think... we need to talk about this."

            His eyes widened to the point where they were almost completely round. I could see the whites all the way around his irises, scarily enough. He jerked back, yanking his hands away as if he just realized he'd been touching something really hot.

            "I'm sorry!" he blurted, scrambling off the bed. "I didn't mean--! Sorry!"

            And he shot out of my room so fast I barely had time to call after him. I was on my feet by the time I heard his door slam. A few seconds later, I was outside his door, turning the knob. I had expected a locked door, but it swung right open. I glanced in, knowing full well this situation would require some delicacy--which I did not always possess.

            "Kamatari..." I walked into the room, glancing into the closets. A pile of clothes on the floor marked Chou's closet, and Kamatari's had the cosmetics on the counter above the drawers. Further into the room... He wasn't there. "Kamatari? Shit."

            I bolted out of his room and into the social lounge. Predictably, it was empty and silent. I stopped at the elevator and pushed the down button. It lit up, but I had the feeling the elevator would be a long time in coming. Swearing again, I went to the stair well and skipped down the steps as fast as I could safely manage.

            Damn him! That idiot! Did he think I'd condemn him or something?! This was _not_ helping me calm down for some much-needed sleep! I had to find him and straighten this out or both our spring breaks would be miserable.

            I hit the first floor and looked around. Actually, I had never gone this way before, and I was a bit disoriented. It took a few seconds to figure out where the pool and laundry rooms were, and from there I ran out into the lobby. The student worker sat at the front desk, looking a bit uncomfortable and staring off to her right. I glanced through the glass partitions uneasily. No way in hell did he do that.

            "Did someone just come through here?" I asked the girl at the desk. Her name tag identified her as Amy. Amy glanced at me, then nodded.

            "Looked like she had been crying," she confirmed--shit, shit, and shit again!--and pointed to the side. "She went outside."

            That utter and complete _moron!_ When I found him, I was going to _kill_ him! And I didn't even have my ID with me.

            "Are you going to be here for awhile?" I demanded to know. Amy nodded, looking startled.

            "Is something wrong?" she asked.

            "I don't have my ID," I went to the security door. "I'll need someone to let me back in."

            "Oh... I guess that's okay," she smiled weakly. "Just this once."

            I didn't answer. I was out the door, running through the hall and to the exit. A blast of hot air hit me just before I slammed out the second door and into the rain.

            _Damn it! This is cold!!_

            It was a downpour and nearly pitch black outside. The street lights barely lit the surrounding area, and I nearly tripped over someone's bicycle on my way to the main sidewalk. I started shouting, hoping to god Kamatari was close enough to hear me. If not, then better that he was inside, although if that was the case, then I would have to hurt both him and that girl who told me he went outside.

            "_KAMATARI!_" I screamed into the rain like some character in a dramatic movie scene. I was soaked, my clothes drenched and my hair plastered to my face and neck with the wind and rain. I shouted again, running to the street corner and back. Playing on a desperate hunch, I ran across the street to the parking garage. I knew where his spot was, and I prayed he had not driven away while he was so upset. Maybe he would just sit in the car.

            But he was not there either.

            _Son of a bitch!!_

            I went back to the dorm. The campus was huge with a lot of places to go and hide. If Kamatari did not want me to find him, then I was not likely to do so.

            Amy let me in almost immediately, hopping back when I wrung out my hair in the entrance before fully entering the building.

            "Should I call campus security?" she asked anxiously, handing me a towel. I guess they really did keep everything behind that desk.

            "Not a bad idea," I replied, uneasy about the whole situation. "Someone's supposed to pick him up at nine-thirty. Maybe he'll show up for that."

            The girl bit her lip, and I walked away from her, wrapping the towel around my shoulders and sitting on the bench to wait.

^_^

            He didn't come. I was officially worried by the time Kamatari's ride showed up at the door. The woman stood in the front entrance for awhile, the phone pressed to her ear. She hung up and tried twice more to contact the room, and I decided she was the one who was giving him a ride to the airport. I got up and opened the door, earning a startled glance.

            "Are you here to pick up Kamatari?" I asked.

            Her eyes went wide, and I gathered she knew something was wrong. In general, it is not a good sign when someone comes up and asks that kind of question.

            "What happened?" she asked, a little breathlessly. "Is he okay?"

            "My name is Kenshin," I introduced myself before answering her questions. "I'm a friend of his. And I'm not really sure what's going on. He ran out about an hour ago, and I haven't seen him since."

            "What's wrong?" she gasped. "What happened?!"

            "We had a misunderstanding--" Yeah. _That_ was the understatement of the decade. "He got upset and ran off. I tried to follow him, but I didn't know where he went. U of M Security's keeping an eye open, but the U is a big place."

            The woman's face paled behind her make-up, making her look rather sickly. I reached out to steady her. The last thing I needed was for some woman to go and faint on me. But she didn't faint. She studied me for a minute, maybe trying to decide if I was a reliable person to be talking to about this. I solved that problem quickly.

            "I'm in the room next to Kamatari," I said, nodding toward the lobby. "You can talk to the girl at the desk." As I spoke, the girl let us through the security door. I looked at her solemnly. "This is the girl that saw Kamatari go outside. This is..." I turned to look at the woman, unable to introduce her yet. She offered a pained smile.

            "Yumi," she nodded politely. "Kamatari's cousin. You saw where he went?"

            "Right outside," the desk girl shrugged helplessly. "You want me to call security again?"

            Yumi looked worried, but I didn't blame her. Hell, _I_ was worried.

            "Please..." she whispered. She looked at me again. "What... what _kind_ of misunderstanding?"

            Oh god. My face felt like it was lighting up like a glowing red light bulb. But Yumi looked so anxious that I had to say something. I gestured to the nearby chairs--she still looked ready to faint--and we sat in the lounge to wait.

^_^

            By midnight, I was frantic. Yumi was worse. She was practically screaming at the poor security guard, crying and demanding to know where her cousin was. I had already taken her to his room, and she knew he wasn't there. The guard was doing his best to calm her down, but there was only so much he could do. It was not like they could call the police. The police didn't do anything unless the person had been gone for forty-eight hours. Kamatari had barely been gone for four.

            I hoped to all that was holy that he was okay. The University streets and sidewalks were not kind to a person walking alone--boy _or_ girl. Kidnapping, mysterious disappearances, rape... it was all distressingly common in situations like this.

            I glanced out the window again at the rain. My hair was dry, and I had taken a minute to change into clean clothes, but I remembered how cold and miserable it had felt out there earlier. Why would Kamatari be so stupid as to run out into that? And was he so dumb as to actually stay in it? I did not think so.

            Two o'clock rolled around, and Yumi was pacing the conference room, cell phone to her ear. I was exhausted and needed to make a phone call myself. I asked the guard at the desk, and he let me use the phone there. Good. I wanted to be down in the lobby if Kamatari came back soon.

            The phone rang four times and picked up on the answering service. I chewed on my lip uneasily and waited a few minutes before trying again. Once more, no one answered. Wearily, I stared at the phone, the tinny sound of the prerecorded message barely audible as I hung up. I took a wild gamble and hoped her parents wouldn't kill me.

            Someone picked up off the third ring.

            "Mm-huh?" was the incoherent answer.

            "Mr. Kamiya?" I asked. "I'm sorry for calling now, but is Kaoru there?"

            "Who is this?" the man grumbled.

            "It's Kenshin, Mr. Kamiya."

            "Kenshin?" he echoed. "Why are you calling at... two-oh-seven in the morning?"

            "It's a bit of an emergency, Mr. Kamiya," I explained. "Is she there?"

            "Uhhh... yeah. Yeah, I'll go get her," he agreed hazily. A long minute later, a very sleepy Kaoru picked up.

            "Kenshin?" she asked, sounding pretty woozy. "What's wrong?"

            "Kamatari's missing."

            A heartbeat of silence was all she offered before she came back with a wide-awake response.

            "What?!"

            "He's been gone since eight-thirty last night, and we don't know where he's gone," I continued. "His cousin is here, and she's in a panic. He was supposed to catch a midnight flight out of here, and he's missed it. No one knows where he could be."

            Kaoru moaned softly.

            "This is going to wreak havoc on our plans," she realized.

            "Kaoru..." I couldn't go anywhere until I knew Kamatari was safe. Surely Kaoru understood that.

            "Don't worry about that, Kenshin," she said quickly. "I'll take care of the flight and reservations. How can I get a hold of you later?"

            "I don't know..." I sighed. "I'm in the dorm lobby right now, and I'll probably stay here for awhile. I'll call if anything happens, but... I don't know."

            "You want me to come over there?" she offered. I smiled tiredly.

            "Maybe later," I half agreed. "With the U shutting down, the people here seem to think he'll turn up soon."

            "Okay, Kenshin." I could hear her yawn through the phone. "I'll talk to you later. Get some rest."

            "I'll try."

            I hung up the phone, thanked the guard, and went back to the chairs in the lobby to wait. Damn the waiting. It was the most useless thing a person could be doing, and yet... there was nothing else to be done.

^_^

            I was dozing on one of the couches when he finally came in that morning. It was almost eight, and the sun had been up for awhile. I figured I slept about an hour that night. My flight to San Francisco was supposed to leave at eight-twenty. No way to catch it this late. But I wasn't thinking about that when Yumi's shouting rudely woke me.

            "Do you have _any_ idea how _worried_ I've been? How worried your _parents_ are?!" Yumi demanded. "What on _earth_ possessed you to _do_ something like this?!"

            All the while, she was crying. She wasn't really mad. I knew that because as furious as I thought I would be, I was immensely relieved when I opened my eyes to see Kamatari standing in the lobby.

            He was wet and looking miserable, his hair flattened and dripping around his face. The rain had settled into a mild drizzle, but that was enough to drench him again. His face was clean of most of the make-up, just some dark smudges around his eyes where the mascara had run and he had not been entirely successful in getting it off.

            Much to my surprise, Kamatari did not avoid me like I might have done were our positions reversed. His stare was rather flat and dull as he watched me walk up to him. And as for me, I just glared up into his face for all I was worth.

            He surprised me again by being the first to speak.

            "Do you hate me?" he asked, almost whispering.

            As if that was possible. If anyone hated Kamatari, then that person was a prejudiced asshole. I wasn't mad at  him. I didn't hate him. But I knew what he was feeling.

            I took a breath and let it out slowly, hoping to speak with a steady voice. I met his sad gaze again, hardening my face into an angry glare once more.

            "If you _ever_ do something like this again--" He flinched, but he did not look away from me. I had to give the guy credit for that. "I will... I'll..." I couldn't carry out that threat. How could I say it if I could not possibly follow through on it?

            With a frustrated growl, I flung my arms around his shoulders, hugging him as tightly as I could manage. I _would_ hit him if he ever made me worry like that again!

            "I should punch your lights out, you son of a bitch," I mumbled into his shoulder. It was times like this that I wished I was taller. How intimidating was I if I couldn't look him in the eye for that threat?

            "I'm sorry," he whispered. He was shaking, and suddenly, he was nearly a dead weight in my arms. He fell against me, crying quietly, his hands around my back, fingers digging into my shoulder blades. It hurt quite a bit, actually, but I could not have cared less about it. I just held his weight and stood there while he apologized again and cried into my shoulder.

            "You're as big an idiot as I am," I informed him. "Do you have _any_ idea how bad that is?"

            He laughed a little through his tears, which was good. That was what I had been going for. I stared at the top of his head, resting on my shoulder, his dark hair matted and dirty from the rain. He looked horrible.

            "We are going to talk about this later, Kamatari," I informed him. "But right now, you are dripping all over me. You're cold and wet, and if you catch something I will never forgive you."

            "If I don't?" he wondered, his voice sounding muddled and unusually deep from his crying. "Will you ever forgive me?"

            "There is nothing to forgive," I replied. "It's just a bit of a complication... We can work with it. Come on," I shoved at him, making him carry more of his own weight. "Go shower and get dressed. Your cousin worked with the airlines to get a flight for tomorrow. Today..." It was going to be a loooong day. "Today we'll work this out."

            So help me, I was starting to sound like some mixture of Uncle Hiko and Kaoru.

^_^

            Yumi, apparently, decided she would not lecture Kamatari on behaving responsibly. She informed him that she would be back the next day at noon to pick him up. She all but threatened him with grave bodily harm if he was not exactly where he told her he would be when that time came. The woman was intimidating.

            My own plans had been shot to hell. Kaoru's mother had some sway in a lot of circles, and somehow she managed to convert those tickets into vouchers. Kaoru couldn't get her money back, but at least it was not a total loss. The trip was merely delayed. For how long, I did not know--maybe not until the following year.

            As for that day following Kamatari's return, it was an odd one. I worried what would happen if I did not clear things up with the guy before he left, so I resolved to talk to him when we both felt human enough to do it. For the moment, he seemed leery of being alone, and I was terrified to let him out of my sight.

            So there I sat, on the bathroom floor while Kamatari showered. I had changed yet again because Kamatari had gotten me wet not long before, and I was comfortable in sweatpants and a tee shirt. I was not as comfortable with the hard tile against my back and beneath me, but I could live with it. I was worried about how Kamatari was acting. He was unusually quiet, but I could sometimes hear his uneven breathing. I recalled the time I had seen him crying in his room before Chou pushed me out. I could only hope that had nothing to do with this. If it did, then this would be a lot more difficult to handle than just some impulsive kiss. Unfortunately, I had the feeling it was all related.

            The shower stopped, and I looked down at my lap quickly. Between the time when the shower curtain opened and when Kamatari stood in front of me fully dressed, I picked at a loose thread in my pant leg, embarrassed to the point of blushing. Fortunately, I was already pretty warm from the shower steam build up, so I could blame my flushed face on that.

            "Did you sleep at all last night?" I asked him when he finally stepped in front of me, standing on the hem of his cotton pants.

            "A little," he muttered.

            "The library?" I predicted. I believed he could stay in the entrance at the very least, where the air was constantly hot and blowing on the people coming in from the cold.

            "How'd you guess?"

            "You always go there when you don't have something to do," I looked up at him. In fact, I had just thought of that. I wished I would have come up with it sooner, and I could have saved everyone a lot of grief.

            I held my hand up to him, and he caught my wrist, helping me to my feet. He sniffed, then wrinkled his nose.

            "You smell like you've been in a bar," he murmured.

            I sighed.

            "I had a few cigarettes last night," I admitted.

            "I didn't know you smoked," he said with a faint little smile.

            "I try not to," I replied, not returning his smile. I was not ready for that just yet. My mind was too preoccupied with the situation. "I was upset."

            His smile faded.

            "Because I--"

            "Ran off like an idiot," I interrupted. I knew where he was going to take that comment, and I would not let him finish it. "And scared the hell out of me and your family when you took your sweet time in coming back."

            He offered a grateful smirk, and I pulled the door open, gesturing for him to leave the bathroom.

            "You look like the waking dead," I said. "Go get some sleep."

            "You look pretty awful yourself," he said, glancing at me and crossing his arms over his chest. "Your face is almost white."

            "I'm fine," I retorted. "I'll have plenty of time to sleep later. You're the one with a plane ride tomorrow."

            "You going to stand guard over me until then?" Kamatari asked, a hint of teasing in his voice. I took the question at face value, despite his tone.

            "You can bet I am," I said, probably a bit too sharply. The stress of the night had gotten to me. I sighed. "Just get some sleep before you make yourself sick. You hungry?" I shook my head, taking back the question. "Of course you're hungry. I'll order some pizza and have it delivered here in a few hours."

            "Pepperoni?" he asked hopefully.

            I tried not to cringe. Ick. I hated pepperoni.

            "Half," I allowed. Kamatari nodded and walked into his room. I followed him in, settling down at Chou's desk with some homework I was supposed to have finished by the Monday following break. While it was all well and good to have it finished so soon, I would forget everything I had done by the next week. Ah, well. It was something to do, although I did not think I would get a whole lot done that day.

            Kamatari must have been exhausted. He dropped off after a few minutes, snoring lightly into his sheets. There was no faking that--not him in any rate. I watched him sleep, my eyes rapidly losing their focus with my own weariness. He became this shapeless blob before me.

            I was not sure what to do. It seemed that the situation really was not resolved. Things were strained between us, and I did not want that. But for this one incident, he was a good friend, and, I thought, in need of some friends himself. Other than Chou, I did not think Kamatari had any close friends. That alone made us alike. My list of close friends was barely longer than his with Kaoru and Sano. And if he really did go off to Harvard, I knew I would regret parting with this hanging between us. I had enough regrets in my life without adding this to it.

            I needed some help. Certain that Kamatari was not going to get up anytime soon, I left the room and went next door to mine. I picked up the phone, punched in a number, and sat in the doorway with the phone cord stretched as far as it would go. It was a small price to pay so I could see if anyone came or went from Kamatari's room. Me? Paranoid? Of course not.

            "Hello?" Kaoru picked up off the second ring.

            "It's me," I murmured, trying to keep my voice low so Kamatari would not hear me. We were not that far away from each other.

            "Kenshin? How's it going?" she asked immediately. "How's Kamatari?"

            "Actually, that's why I called," I admitted. "I need some advice."

            "From me?" she seemed startled.

            "Well, you're the one who always nags at me when I'm down, so I figured..." I trailed off, hoping she did not blow up at my honesty. If that little sniff I heard was any indication, she was a bit irked, but there was not much I could do about that. "I don't know what to do about this whole thing. I don't want him to go away thinking I hate him."

            "I don't know the situation very well," she started. That much was true. I had not given her any of the details. She really did not need to know that. All Kaoru knew was that we had a sort of... disagreement, and that he disappeared for the night. "But you should talk to him."

            "I've talked to him," I protested. If threatening him and scolding him was considered talking... "A little."

            "I know it's hard for you," she said, not sounding the least bit sympathetic. "Being as you're male." Ah hah hah. She was so clever. "But you have to _talk_ to him. Tell him that you still want to be his friend. Tell him how you felt last night when he disappeared. Be _truthful_. If I'm right, he'll respond to it... probably a whole lot better than you do."

            "You're getting nasty about this," I complained. She giggled.

            "It's true," she pointed out. "You do anything to avoid confrontations."

            "With you," I growled.

            "Kenshin, I'm hurt," she murmured.

            "Bullshit."

            "Don't swear at me, you little twerp," she snapped. "Are you going to do what I suggested?"

            "Sorry," I mumbled. "That's... You really think I should tell him all that? Couldn't we just... I don't know, bond over a movie or something?"

            She sighed noisily, and I smirked.

            "Men!" she spat. "Kamatari's a bit more emotional than you anyway. Trust me, Kenshin."

            "He's not _that_ much more emotional."

            "Kenshin!"

            "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I had to chuckle. It had not been my intention to frustrate her, but since I was, it was kind of amusing.

            "Go away, idiot," she laughed. "Give me a call later. I'm going to ask you how it went, so you'd better talk to him."

            "I'll talk to him!"

            "Later!" she chirped, cheerful as could be, that sweet-talking, manipulating--

            _Click_. The dial tone buzzed in my ear. Grunting in irritation, I stood and hung up the phone. I don't know how that girl did it, but she always seemed to have things like this figured out. No wonder I found her so frustrating at times.

^_^

            _The smoke filled the room and clouded my senses. What had I had to drink? Something strong... That, combined with the intoxicating fumes wafting around me created a comforting haze in my conscious mind. I walked slowly through the house, wandering._

_            What was I looking for? Something very basic, that much I knew. Something that seemed very pressing just moments ago after I had swallowed some more of that bitter liquid._

_            I stopped in the restroom. It seemed I needed a toilet, but I don't recall using it. One minute I needed it, the next I felt fine. But the toilet was whistling, proving at least _someone_ had used it recently. I was the only one in there, so it must have been me._

_            The mirror was fogged up. Someone had used the shower, maybe. I reached forward and trailed my fingers over the damp surface, fascinated by the dripping lines I created. I drew a picture--a little face. It was not a smiling face like I wanted it to be, and I frowned at it. It frowned right back at me, and I drew a big X through it. Disgusted, I left the room._

_            The bathroom faded into a memory as foggy as that mirror when I left it. I found myself in a murky hallway. The lights were off, and some of the smoke from downstairs drifted through, making me sigh gratefully._

_            Someone else was in the hall. I could hear him, feel him as he walked around me. I didn't recognize him, but that was not unusual. Nothing to worry about. Even the knowing smirk he gave me was something I saw frequently._

_            He was pretty close and shook his head when I tried to continue by him. I looked at him, confused and not liking what he was doing. Hands slid along my sides, and he leaned closer. That bothered me, and I told him to stop. He thought it was funny. Started laughing like he knew something... something I didn't and wouldn't unless I learned it from him. And he did not back away._

_            I pushed him, my movements clumsy and slow, my hands shoving at his, my feet scrambling to take me back. My hands went up to his face when he leaned in again, and he yelped as my fingers caught on something. It made him mad..._

_            The wall cracked and groaned in protest when I hit it. I staggered, trying to stay on my feet. He was coming at me, hands digging into my arms, shoving me back against the wall again. My terror rose, and I squirmed, trying to get away. What was he _doing_? I looked up, just as he bent down again--_

            My eyes snapped open, my senses registering hands on my arms and dark eyes inches away from mine.

            _Dear god, the dream isn't over!_

            I gasped, sketchy and painful, and slammed back away from the man. Those eyes blinked in alarm, and I watched as the features solidified and formed a familiar face. Kamatari hovered a step away from the bed, looking as startled as I had felt.

            "_God!_" I tried to catch my breath, my chest heaving with the panic. My heart was hammering away inside my rib cage, and I held a hand over it as if that would slow its frantic pace. "It's only you!"

            "Are you okay?" he asked anxiously.

            "Fine," I panted, looking around quickly to reorient myself. I was on Chou's bed, oddly enough. Apparently, I had fallen asleep despite my intentions of staying awake. The wall was cold at my back, and I eased away from it, feeling just the slightest bit foolish. "I'm fine... You're awake?"

            "Pizza's here," he said cautiously. "I paid the delivery boy already."

            "I'll pay for half," I muttered, sliding off the bed and padding out to the social lounge after him. It was deserted again. Everyone had gone home or out somewhere for spring break. We were the only ones left on the floor. Good. I didn't think I could do this if someone else was within earshot.

            Kamatari had already scrounged up some napkins and cans of pop--he had Pepsi and I had Sprite, since Kamatari knew that was what I liked--and we sat down to eat. It was a little awkward, and we touched topics of small importance that were completely unrelated to the problem at hand. I asked him about his annual family reunion, and he smiled.

            "It's fun," he said, pausing over his pizza slice. He frowned. "My father does not approve of my way of life and just about blew a fuse the last time I did not dress like the perfect model of a masculinity. Mother is more forgiving, and the cousins act like they don't care. They think it's weird, but treat me normal enough, just like any other eccentric youth."

            "Yet you enjoy this?" I asked, thinking I would go into hiding over something like that. Kamatari smiled tolerantly.

            "I've taken to dressing in jeans and a sweater around the family," he replied. "It's more comfortable for everyone involved, and fairly androgynous, don't you think?"

            "I guess..." It seemed to me that he had to sacrifice his identity for the comfort of his family. Not exactly fair. Shouldn't his family love and accept him for what he was no matter what the circumstances? I seem to recall having heard that somewhere... My mind drifted a bit while I tried to remember what it was.

            _"Sweetie..." Labored breathing. "Baby, don't cry. I love you..." Suppressed coughing. "No matter what you do... Maybe I'll be mad... maybe I'll yell at you and scold you... but I love you. Nothing will change that... I promise."_

            "...dresses up like clowns and broadcast Punky Brewster through the whole house," Kamatari was saying. Punky Brewster? Clowns? What the--!

            "What the hell are you _talking_ about?" I demanded, looking at him in confusion.

            "So you _are_ listening," Kamatari smirked. "You looked like you zoned out on me for a minute there, Kenshin."

            The abrupt switch to using my given name was not lost on me. It was disconcerting and rather disheartening.

            "Sorry," I glanced down at my barely touched pizza. I picked it up.

            "What was the dream about?" he asked abruptly. I looked at him in surprise. My face warmed in embarrassment.

            "Uh... I don't really..." I could almost see Kaoru, scowling at me. 'Be truthful' she had told me, but that was one thing I did not discuss with anyone. Ever. "It was nothing."

            Kamatari looked at me warily. He was finished with his pizza, and my appetite was down. I put down the pizza slice I had been holding and wiped my hands on a napkin, contemplating how I was going to do this.

            "Are you mad at me?" Kamatari asked before I could say anything. I blinked and met his sad stare.

            "Not really," I leaned forward, folding my arms on the table. I frowned at him. "A little, I guess. I'm mad that you ran off like that."

            He nodded slowly. Sitting there, his hands folded in his lap like that, he looked very insecure. There was not much I could do about that, though, so I let it be for the time. Kamatari swallowed and looked down at his hands.

            "I'm such an idiot sometimes," he murmured. "I wasn't thinking... I tried to ignore it like Chou said."

            Ignore it? I chewed on my lip uneasily, waiting for him to continue.

            "We have so much fun together," he said with a pathetic attempt at a smile. It disappeared, a look of regret replacing it as if he wished he had never smiled. "And I... I found myself thinking about it. I thought... wouldn't it be nice if I could find someone like him? And then it went from that to more, and..." he was sniffling. He was going to cry again. I wished he wouldn't, but I knew it would not be appropriate to stop it at this point. "I'm sorry! I told myself I wouldn't go after anyone here, and you're not into that anyway, and--"

            "Kamatari," I cut him off, reaching out automatically to touch his arm. He stopped talking and sat there, sniffing miserably. Damn it, but this was awkward. "Kamatari, I... I don't think anything I say will help with that." He coughed and nodded once.

            "I know," he whispered.

            "But..." This had to be the strangest experience of my life. I was not sure how to start. I sighed. "Look. Let's take a step back for a minute."

            He glanced up at me. I didn't smile, but I did not frown either.

            "I like you a lot, Kamatari," I said frankly. "You're a good friend--better than most. And I really don't want to lose that."

            "You don't?" He bit his lip. I shook my head.

            "I was really scared when you didn't come back last night," I admitted. "I was mad that you would do something like that... and I was a little mad at myself."

            "Why?" he asked curiously. I glanced at him, into his bloodshot, watery eyes.

            "Were you really that afraid of what I would do?" I asked quietly. "I know I'm a bit temperamental, but... No," I shook my head again. "Never mind. It doesn't matter. Just... just don't do that again."

            "So you're not mad that I kissed you?" he asked.

            "No..." Although it still made me uncomfortable. I looked at him, irritated, embarrassed, and guilty at once. "Let's just not make a habit of it, okay?"

            He nodded, then sniffed again. For heaven's sake. I stood, dumping the napkins in a nearby bin and folding the box over the remaining pizza.

            "Come on," I suggested, standing over him. He still looked miserable. I frowned anxiously, not sure what else I could say. Kamatari looked like he might break if I tried anything else. This might not work out, no matter what I tried.

            Cautiously, I set my hand on his shoulder. He coughed again, and it wasn't from a cold. I felt like I had done something wrong, but I really had not done anything, so how could it be my fault? I squeezed his shoulder lightly, not sure what I could do to help him. Maybe there really was nothing I could do.

            I was so caught up in my worrying that I never noticed him moving. Granted, he did not move very much or very far, but I missed the shift nonetheless. That is, I didn't notice until an arm against the small of my back dragged me forward. I looked down in surprise as Kamatari pressed his cheek into my chest, his other arm moving to wrap around my waist as well.

            _Uh..._

            He had not really cried before. A few tears, some sniffling--nothing like this. To be perfectly honest, I was at a complete loss. I had never seen anyone break down like this. His whole body shook, and if he had not been crying, I would have thought it time to call an ambulance. My back hurt from the force of his arms squeezing my waist, and I had to brace my hand on the back of his chair to keep from falling. I doubt Kamatari noticed my loss of balance. He held me tighter, if it was possible, and continued to soak the front of my shirt with his tears.

            For a long, awkward minute I stood there. I mean, I really did not know what to do. I tried to think of what others would do. Uncle Hiko's course of action was _not_ an option. My side still ached with the memory of how he had struck me. Kaoru and Sano--they would have returned the hug. That was... well... I could probably do that.

            Well... hugging him was difficult. He was in a chair, I was standing, and it just did not work. So I stood there, feeling pretty damned useless with my hand on his hair, the other hand still bracing against the chair since I felt like I was going to topple at any moment. A bit embarrassed by the whole situation, I kind-of stroked his hair. Ms. Kamiya had done that to me when Kaoru was in the hospital, and it had been nice. Of course, she probably did that to comfort her daughter all the time. I was not accustomed to this, and I think, perhaps, it might have been more appropriate for Ms. Kamiya than for me.

            I sighed, _knowing_ I was being stupid and unhelpful. Kamatari wasn't crying so much by that point. That was a good sign, I thought. He hiccupped softly.

            "What's wrong?" he asked, his voice sounding thick, muffled, and strange. His face _was_ pressed into my shirt.

            "Nothing," I mumbled. I opened my mouth to continue, but he beat me to it.

            "You sighed." He had noticed that? Granted, he was holding me so tightly that it was nearly impossible for him not to notice any movement I made.

            "Oh... ummm, I thought..." What to say to that... "I thought I should hug you, but I couldn't... It doesn't work."

            He chuckled, shaking again but not in such a scary way.

            "You didn't push me away," he murmured. "That's enough."

            It wasn't enough, and we both knew it. I let my fingers trail through his hair one final time, my hand finally stopping on his shoulder. His hair looked so strange when he did not style it. There was no mistaking who he was without all the primping time, but he looked very different. And with his face all flushed and damp and splotchy from crying, not only did he look different, but he looked pretty bad.

            "No one would mistake you for a girl now," I muttered.

            He blinked, pulling back and looking at me. I stepped away cautiously, so as not to trip on the chair legs. Kamatari touched his hair with a light hand and closed his eyes, moaning softly.

            "I'm afraid to look in a mirror," he said.

            "Then don't." That seemed an obvious solution to that problem.

            "But I won't be able to fix it if I don't!" he pouted. I smirked and ruffled his hair like Sano so loved to do to me (the annoying jerk). Kamatari yelped and scooted away from me, his hands going to protect his hair--messy as it already was. "You're making it _worse!_"

            "It's not possible," I retorted, grabbing the pizza and following him back toward his room.

            "That's not nice!" Kamatari groaned. "And I was looking forward to days of people being nice to me."

            "Wait until your cousin comes," I advised. "_Then_ complain about people not being nice."

            "You had to remind me," he grumbled, digging through the drawers in his closet and pulling out miscellaneous hair- and facial-care products. Of course, I was as interested in watching him apply lipstick as I was in watching cheese mold, so I settled down on Chou's bed again, leaning back against the wall comfortably.

            Something occurred to me then, that I had not thought about in days.

            "How'd that job interview go?"

            The noise of Kamatari digging around abruptly stopped, and my stomach sank.

            "I didn't get it," he said finally, then started digging around again.

            He didn't... After everything he did, he did not get the internship.

            "I'm sorry," I murmured.

            "Hey, it's okay," he shrugged and glanced over at me with a weak smile. "They gave the job to someone who'll actually be able to work past next August."

            "I know you wanted that internship."

            His smile disappeared, and he nodded.

            "Yeah."

            We didn't say much after that. He went about making himself look pretty again. I sat on Chou's bed, half dozing and waiting for him to finish. Then, we dug through his DVD collection and found one we both liked.

            I was surprised to find that by the time we started the movie, it was after four o'clock. When the movie was finished--it was _Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade_--it was time for dinner... technically. Kamatari was not hungry, but I had not eaten much earlier, so I ate the leftover pizza, and he drank a pop. Then, we let our brains turn to so much mush, watching the Saturday night movie on the FOX network.

            "I'm pooped," Kamatari announced after ten. I was inclined to agree with him. It had been a taxing day, and in the past forty-eight hours, I had gotten less than three hours of sleep. I was ready to drop. "You mind if I hold that stuffed animal of yours for awhile, Kenshin?"

            Odd request...

            "Sure," I went and got the gorilla and gave it to him. Kamatari smiled gratefully and curled up in his bed, hugging it. Weird guy. I shrugged to myself and claimed Chou's bed again. I'd have to wash those sheets, but I doubted he would care much.

            My intention was to watch Kamatari--all night, if need be. But I did not think he was going anywhere. Also... the instant my head was on the pillow, the exhaustion had me, and I fell asleep.

^_^

            I did not have to worry. The sound of Kamatari's hair dryer woke me the next morning, proving he would not sneak off again without telling me. I groaned in protest, thinking it was too early to be awake. The clock declared otherwise--it was just after ten-thirty. I had slept for over twelve solid hours. Incredible.

            I sighed unhappily and sat up, pushing at the hair that hung in my eyes obstinately. If my tangled, messy hair was any indication, I had been doing acrobats in my sleep. Only a shower and a lot of conditioner would fix that, but I pulled out the hair elastic and picked at the knots wearily.

            "Finally decided to grace me with your presence, Kenshin?" Kamatari called over the noise of the dryer.

            "Nnn," I replied. He chuckled and continued to do his hair. It was back to some semblance of normalcy--his hair and our friendship. His hair was fixed easily enough, but the tenuous friendship we shared was more difficult to keep intact. The way he slipped into the more formal, calling me by my name rather than 'sweetheart' almost hurt. I could understand his hesitancy, but at the same time I wished we could go back to how it would have been had he never confronted me with his feelings.

            The next hour and a half went by swiftly. I took a shower and changed clothes, and when I met up with Kamatari again, he was sitting on his bed with a book and my stuffed gorilla. The book was one I had never even heard of, and I forgot the title the instant I looked away from it. He set it aside and shook his head at me. Then, he spent twenty minutes drying and brushing out my hair. It was by some great force of will that I managed to sit still through that.

            Noon came too quickly. We stood at the front entrance with his bags, waiting for Yumi, an awkward silence between us. Fortunately, we did not have to wait long. Yumi's car pulled up to the curb, and Kamatari picked up his bags.

            "Have fun," I offered, handing him his pillow. He glanced at me, serious again.

            "Enjoy your break," he replied. "I'm sorry for ruining your trip."

            I shrugged.

            "I'll see you in a week?" I asked.

            "I wouldn't miss that for anything," he murmured. He dropped one of his bags and hooked that arm around my neck. I gasped as he yanked me forward, pressing my face into his shoulder, his own face somewhere in my hair. "Take care, Kenshin."

            Nodding and mumbling an incoherent response into his jacket, I cautiously returned the embrace. 

            Yumi shouted something, and he pulled back reluctantly. I stood uneasily as his hand lingered on my face. He stared at me for a minute, perhaps memorizing what I looked like, and then dropped his hand. Picking up his bag again, he turned and followed Yumi to the car. They put his bags in the back seat, and he climbed into the passenger side, slamming the door shut after him. He glanced at me through the window, and I offered a halfhearted wave, feeling a little silly for the gesture. Even so, he smiled and waved back.

            They drove away.

            I stood there, unsure of what to do. Glancing up at the sky--the clear, sunny sky that I wished had been the case two days ago--I considered my options. Kamatari was gone, leaving me alone at the dorms for a week. Uncle Hiko did not need me hanging around, and I still had to make the week up to Kaoru.

            I smiled to myself. I would take care of Kaoru first, then worry about everything else. That was a decent enough plan.

            Turning, I jogged around the side of the building, up the ramp and across the overpass. I shot across the courtyard and around the library, running as fast as I could manage in my flimsy tennis shoes and a baggy spring jacket. I needed something to clear my mind, and a run seemed to be in order. I rounded the building and made my way to the Washington Avenue Bridge. Once I was over that, there would be no turning back until I was ready to go call Kaoru.

            I ran for an hour and a half. Well, not constant running, but close. Some jogging and a few minutes of walking were all I took for breaks. I was sweating and breathing hard by the time I returned to the dorm, definitely in need of another shower. But I felt better... more relaxed.

            Kaoru picked up off the second ring when I called her.

            "Hello?

            "Kaoru?"

            "Kenshin! What's up?"

            "Want to go get some dinner?"

            "That sounds great. I'll pick you up in half an hour."

            I hung up the phone and went to take a shower.

^_^

End Notes: *Utilizes duck-and-cover techniques* Yes, I bailed out on the trip for this Spring break. I may bring it in later, but for the moment, this is what I want. Writer's prerogative and all that. Next chapter will be jumping around in time, so watch for the explanations. I'll try to keep it pretty clear.

Omake 1 

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* He jerked back, yanking his hands away as if he just realized he'd been touching something really hot.

**Kamatari**: *grin*

**Sano**: *whistles loudly*****

**Kaoru**: Stay away from him, you perverts! That hot guy is _mine!_

**Kenshin**: Oro... *blush*

Omake 2 

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* I guess they really did keep everything behind that desk.

**Student worker**: I'd let you wash up in the kitchen sink, but the hot water doesn't work.

**Kenshin**: ...

To the reviewers!

**Luce**: Did Kamatari and Kenshin ever actually _meet_ in the RK storyline? *shrug* Huh. I'm a girl and all that 'girly' stuff still makes me sick. So it's easy for me to sympathize.

**Val**: Kaoru: I'm not unreasonable. I just want what I want, when I want it.

Fitz: *blink*

**marstanuki**: Whoakay! I'm updating!

**Fuuko-san**: *is amused by the Burger King comment* I hope I did not disappoint you too much on that San Francisco thing. I have something else planned for those two, and that trip did not fit in well with it.

**Gypsy-chan**: You and unhealthy food. *smirk* And surely all girls are not like that. Just some. I'm only like that when I have the luxury of being a moody jerk… that is to say, very rarely.

**Calger459**: Um… about that San Francisco thing… *wince*

**Red Ninja**: Thanks. Unique is something I can work with.

**Crystal**: Kenshin: I don't get pissed that easily.

Kaoru: *glances at him*

Kenshin: What's _that_ look for?!

Fitz: ^_^;;

**Chibi Assassin**: Yes… you do get impatient at times. Then again, it helps if you don't like the person in the first place. *snicker*

**nymph**: *staggers* Six hours? Even with breaks… all in one stretch. I'd pass out. Or get bored. Thanks for the compliment, though. I hope you're still liking the story.

**C-Chan**: Glad you liked. Tell Eko I'm feeling neglected. *loud, obnoxiously false sobbing*

**kurara**: The last chapter did not mention that. This one did.

Kamatari: *sob* You're so mean to me.

Fitz: Sorry?

Kamatari: You don't even sound sincere!!

**Chiki**: Nah, I'm not confused by you. Rather uncommon, actually. I'm always confused.

**Vesca**: I know someone who works in insurance… a couple of someones, actually. And nope, I've never seen The Ring. I've never been one for scary movies. Saw part of Child's Play when I was maybe ten years old and am now scarred for life. *shudder* Awww, now I'll have nightmares tonight.

**omochi**: Hard to believe? I can admit to that, although I'd have to say that much of what I've put in here is something I have either experienced first-hand or have seen happen. (Minus the death of a sister thing.)

**nekonomiko**: 'Tis there. I'll even have sections focused on them, but not yet. *dramatic pause* Not yet…. Hmmm, that's from a movie… Ah! _Gladiator_. I liked that guy. (No, not Russel Crowe. The one who said the 'not yet' lines)

**Gochan**: Lucky girl. Personally, I get really moody. One minute I'll be cheerful and happy and a sentence later, I'm snapping at people. It's tiring and makes people not like me at times. *Groan* The whole San Francisco thing is going to come and bite me in the butt.

**MinaXP**: On the off chance that you actually read this, I just want to thank you. I understand that some people like different things (heck, I like most everything, so I'm just weird). However, you were extraordinarily civil about it, and I appreciate it. May you enjoy the other stories you read. ~Fitz


	19. Stillwater

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, and I am making no money off this. We all know this, right? Right.

**Notes**: Sorry it took me so long! I was going to post a little chapter, then changed my mind and pushed it to later in the story. Then, I had to actually finish writing _this_ section before I could post anything (go figure). Not only that, but Fitz has been busy working and preparing a report and presentation for my Building Science class and applying for readmission to—you guessed it—the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities. It takes a lot out of a person! *whew* So, without further adieu!

Gah! I take that back! I have a little surprise for you!

http ://www. geocities.com/ xelloss_trickster/ Fitz. html

*sigh* Yeah, I fiddled with this thing until it stayed in place. It's a cut and paste job. Paste the link and get rid of all those spaces. If you have trouble, go to my author profile. The link will be there as well.

There's a little link at the bottom to my photo album. Click on it. I promise, it's appropriate for all ages. I've even got one of those pictures as the background for my laptop (and considering the kind of restrictions they place on that, you _know_ it's tame.)

_Sano_: No pictures of Kenshin and Kaoru in S&M poses?

_Kenshin_: *trying not to blush* No, but if you look, you might find some with Sano and Megumi-dono.

_Sano_: Yuck! Shut up!

_Fitz_: I know someone who declared that everyone needs a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. I don't have those yet, so maybe I should go get some.

_Kenshin_: Sano, should we leave?

_Sano_: *hesitate*

_Kenshin_: For god's sake!

Those pictures take awhile to load if you're on a modem, but they all work. Try for patience.

**Warnings**: Nothing big. Onion rings and a bit of innuendo. Metallica. Vanilla-scented air fresheners.

Here's to all of you who wanted a chapter focused on Kaoru—it's not completely, but for me, it's a lot.

Onward!!

My Life

            The evening of the day Kamatari left, Kaoru and I sat in a booth at Applebees, sharing a plate of onion rings. I apologized again to her for ruining her spring break.

            "Stop worrying about it so much, Kenshin," she flicked a little salt off her fingers at me and smiled. "These things happen. We'll go another time, okay?"

            It was not so much the fact that we were stuck at home over the break. In fact, the prospect of going halfway across the country without any 'adult' supervision had been rather intimidating, and I was not sorry to put it off a little. But it had taken me so long to gather up the courage to actually ask Kaoru to go with me! And for what? So I could mooch off her for another week? All that stress for naught.

            "You ever been to Stillwater?" she asked out of nowhere.

            "I don't know," I replied honestly. What was in Stillwater? I may have been there before. I knew where it was, but I did not remember anything about it.

            "Want to go?" Kaoru pressed. "Just you and me. We'll make a day of it. Two days!"

            "What's in Stillwater?" I had to know.

            "Little shops," she answered. "A lake. Beautiful streets and trees."

            Sounded like a blast. Despite my aversion, I found myself nodding.

            "Sure," I glanced at the last onion ring and let it sit. Odd how that worked. That onion ring would never be eaten unless we shared it because neither of us wanted to be guilty of stealing the last one in the event that the other person would want it. "Two days? Where would we stay?"

            "Considering the season, I'll bet we could find a Bed and Breakfast place that's open," Kaoru smiled, apparently pleased at this thought. "What do you say?"

            If it would make her happy, I was willing to agree to just about anything. I felt terribly guilty about those tickets, and I _had_ been saving up for the trip.

            "That sounds interesting," I managed to say without cringing. I was getting good at this. Smile and nod. That's all it took to make some people content. It did not always work for Kaoru, but this time it did.

            "Great! I'll ask Mom for advice on this," she announced. "You want that last onion ring?"

            "You can have it."

            "Are you sure?"

            What was that I said about that last bit of food on a shared plate? I chuckled.

            "Want to split it?"

^_^

_Little note_: I think Bed 'n' Breakfasts are pretty much a weekend commodity, so I'm stretching the story a little bit with this. I like it better than a hotel, though, so I'm using it.

^_^

            So, we went to Stillwater. Kaoru stopped back at the dorm on Tuesday, which, of course, left me with all of Monday with nothing to do but repack my bag, do homework, surf the Internet, eat, and sleep. It was a dull day. I prayed that someone--anyone--would stop by the dorm just so that I would not be alone on the floor, but no one came. I thought I would go crazy.

            I was waiting outside when Kaoru pulled up to the curb. My bag and pillow went into the back seat with her stuff, and we were off.

            "Music?" Kaoru offered, pointing at a CD case on the floor by my feet.

            "How far away is Stillwater?" I asked, flipping through the CDs until I found one I liked to some extent. She had a very mild selection--lots of instrumental things and that Celtic stuff. I located a Metallica disk near the back and held it up. Kaoru wrinkled her nose, then shrugged.

            "What the heck," she gestured to the player as she pulled the car onto the main road. "I haven't listened to that since high school."

            "This is the one where they've got that orchestra background, isn't it?" I smirked. So familiar... I looked at her again. "Stillwater? How far?"

            "Oh!" she grinned. "Forty-five minutes to an hour, depending."

            "On traffic?"

            "On whether or not I follow the speed limit!"

            I shook my head and went about adjusting the seat to my liking. Whoever had last sat in this seat had been painfully tall, and I felt like I was falling away from the front of the car. The chair hummed softly as I pushed the button that moved it forward.

            "I'll help pay for gas," I offered as the thought came to mind.

            "Don't worry about it," Kaoru replied immediately.

            I frowned, considering a scathing retort.

            "All right, all right!" she said quickly. She must have seen my scowl. "You can throw away your money as well."

            "I just don't like feeling like I'm racking up debts," I grumbled. "You make me feel like a pauper."

            "Sorry."

            I sighed and sat back, humming along softly with the symphony. Kaoru looked at me, an odd little smile on her face, and I stopped humming. I had not thought she could actually hear me. Damn it all. This was weird.

            "Ever play any highway games?" she asked abruptly. I had no idea what she was talking about.

            "No."

            "That's a crime!" Kaoru laughed. "It's really easy..."

            She spent the next few minutes teaching me several different little games. The one she seemed to like the most was the 'alphabet game.' This was where a person had to locate each letter in the alphabet from signs and license plates starting with 'A' and continuing until you finished the alphabet. Wouldn't it figure, I got stuck with 'Q' and sat for about ten minutes until we passed a Dairy Queen and the game continued. Kaoru thought it was funny how I sat there, looking at the license plate of every car we saw and checking out small towns for liquor stores.

            This game lasted until we were barely a mile out of Stillwater. Then, Kaoru made me grab a map and use it to find the place where we were going to stay. Thank you very much, but I got us there right on the first try.

^_^

            It was just like a big house, except each room was like a hotel room with its own bathroom and bed and smelled like flowers. We got the only room (out of four) in the place that had a second bed in it. That was because... well, share a bed with Kaoru? That was just uncomfortable. It was strange enough sharing a room and bathroom with her. Even when I was at her house, I stayed in a separate room. There was that one night, granted, but that was different. I was too tired to care at that time.

            Only one of the other rooms was being used those nights we were there. It was an elderly couple on their fiftieth wedding anniversary. It was kind of a cool thought when it came right down to it. How many couples actually lasted that long anymore? Not to mention most people married later and were dead before they could get to the fiftieth anniversary. Morbid, but true. These people were probably in their early seventies, maybe even late sixties, so they must have married almost right out of high school. I wondered if Sano and Megumi would end up like that. I hoped they would.

            That first day, we did not do a lot--well, nothing we could not have done at home. After settling into our room, we left again. Kaoru said she had the next day planned out completely, so the rest of the first day was just for relaxing and walking around.

            I never knew so many antique shops existed in one town. My opinion was that the whole ordeal of puttering around through a bunch of musty junk that nobody else wanted was about as dull as dirt. Kaoru disagreed. It seemed that she could look at those old chairs and tables and toys for ages. I trailed along behind her as she went from one display to the next. All the while, I tried not to fall asleep.

            I convinced Kaoru to stop at Starbucks, where I got myself the strongest cappuccino a person could get. That caffeine in my system, I no longer had to worry about dozing off in an old-stuff pawn shop.

            "Is this boring you?" Kaoru asked while we wandered through a doll shop. How many dolls could a person want? There were a dozen bride dolls, dolls dressed for the theatre, Marilyn Monroe dolls, period dolls, baby dolls... there were too many for any one person to take in. There was a stuffed animal collection over in the far corner that I found myself glancing at periodically, wishing we could look at those instead.

            "It's okay," I said, mustering what certainly was the least convincing smile I had offered in days. It must have been weak because Kaoru frowned at me skeptically.

            "What would you like to do?" she demanded. "We can find something both of us like!"

            "I don't really know anything about this place..." I protested, trying to wave it off. Better to let her decide, really. If I was bored, that was fine. If Kaoru did not enjoy herself... well, surely that was different. This was for her anyway, right? I messed up the vacation, so I had to make it up to her. If that meant walking through the most mundane places around, then so be it.

            After an exasperating argument over what we should do--Kaoru was exasperated, actually, as I just shrugged helplessly through most of the conversation--we ended up watching a movie at the local dollar theater. Even then, it took us awhile to agree on something. We finally settled on re-release of _My Big Fat Greek Wedding_. At least it was a good movie.

            After the movie, we had dinner at a little restaurant on the corner across the street from the theater. I had no idea what the place was called, but the hamburgers were edible, and it did not cost an arm and a leg.

            I wondered what Kaoru had planned for the next day. Thus far, all attempts at finding out had been fruitless. She just smiled at me and said, "you'll see." It was enough to make any sane man uneasy. Even so, I tried again over the last of my French fries.

            "I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow," I said mildly. It was a sad attempt at tricking her, but it never hurt to try.

            "It's supposed to be sunny all week," Kaoru replied with a cheerful smile. "I wouldn't worry too much."

            Expertly avoided. Or naively unnoticed. It was difficult to tell sometimes. I could only try yet again.

            "Good," I nodded, agreeing with her assessment. "I would hate to walk around all day in the rain."

            "Nah, we'll be inside most of the--" Kaoru cut off with a soft yip, her hand over her mouth. She glared at me. "You jerk! You did that on purpose!"

            I sighed and absently stirred my ketchup with a rock-hard fry that I would not be eating.

            "Not that you told me much," I muttered, then looked up at her hopefully. "What are we doing?"

            "I _told_ you! You'll find out tomorrow," she retorted, still glaring at me. "Little twerp. Just give it up. And stop trying to trick me!"

            I did not even try to deny that accusation. It would have been lying, which I was trying to stop doing. I just shrugged and let the French fry drop.

            "What about tonight?" I asked, changing the subject. "We've got a couple hours of daylight left."

            "Well, I'm kind of tired," she admitted. "You?"

            "I'm okay." Tired already? It was barely after six o'clock. How could she have been tired? "You want to go back and rest awhile?"

            "I brought a couple books along," Kaoru said with a blatantly hopeful smile.

            "You're the driver," I smirked, picking up the bill the waiter put on the table. Glancing at the prices, I quickly figured out my share and pulled out my wallet. "We can go whenever you want."

            "Sounds good to me!" she laughed and reached for the bill. "I'll pay."

            I glared at her, and she giggled nervously.

            "...For my half," she added. Lame, but nice try. I chuckled and shook my head, dropping some money on the table and standing.

            "Let's go."

^_^

            Kaoru seemed content to read the evening away, and I was too restless to do the same. Of course, she had driven us there, spent the day rushing from place to place, and done all the proper monetary negotiations, while I had merely followed along. It made sense that she was worn out--and I was not.

            "I'm going to go for a run," I announced while Kaoru gathered her bathroom supplies and ran the water for what she had called a 'long, luxurious soak.' She looked at me, eyes wide in surprise.

            "Alone?" she demanded.

            "Unless you really wanted to join me," I replied, digging through my bag for something suitable to wear. I pulled out my jogging pants and a tee shirt. "I go pretty fast."

            "It's going to be dark soon," she protested, disappearing only for a second into the bathroom before reappearing without her stuff. "What if you get lost?"

            "I'll stick to the main road," I assured her. I wished she would go into that bathroom and close the door so I could change. My hands were already tugging at the hem of my sweater, and I stilled the motion, looking at Kaoru uncertainly. "I won't get lost."

            "But we don't know this area very well, and... well..." she stumbled over her words, but I patiently waited for her to continue. She stomped her foot once in frustration. "Dang it! We don't know what kind of people are out at night here!"

            I blinked at her, momentarily confused. She was worried about me? I had to smile.

            "I can take care of myself," I took off my sweater out of reflex. I probably should not have, but if it would help cut this argument short, then why not?

            Kaoru's cheeks went pink, but she did not go into the bathroom. Instead, she just glared at me. I paused, tee shirt poised to tug over my head, wondering what she was planning to say. I did not have to wait long.

            "Take my extra cell phone with you," she ordered abruptly.

            "Extra...?" _EXTRA?!_ For god's sake! And Kaoru was oblivious to my gaping, digging through her purse and producing a small phone and a holster.

            "This hooks to a purse or the waist of your pants," she explained, reaching for my waist.

            "I'm changing pants, Kaoru."

            "Oh! Okay, then." She turned around and sat on the bed, once again rumaging through her stuff. "My back's turned. Go ahead."

            While she was still--! My face felt awfully hot. I snatched up the pants and made a beeline for the bathroom. Kaoru said something behind me when I closed the door, but I could not hear it. I stood in front of the door to block it, kicked off my pants, and yanked on the new pair. It took a total of maybe twenty seconds before I was back in the main room again.

            "What did you say?" I asked blandly. Kaoru shook her head, but she seemed amused.

            "Nothing," she murmured. "The phone?"

            So, I stood still while she hooked that thing to the side of my running pants. I felt like I was standing in front of Uncle Hiko with the way she ordered me around. It was 'call nine-one-one if you think you're in trouble' and 'my number is in there if you feel nervous, went too far, or you just want me to come pick you up' and 'stay on the lighted roads.'

            "Yes, mother," I mumbled.

            "I'll call you if you're not back by eight," she said, completely unaware of my comment.

            "It's seven-thirty, Kaoru," I protested. "I'll barely be warmed up."

            "Eight-thirty, then," she amended.

            "Fine, whatever," I groaned and grabbed my spring jacket. "I'll be back in a bit."

            "If you twist an ankle, don't try to--"

            "Kaoru, I know how to deal with injuries!" God, wouldn't she get the hint! I was going to be fine!

            "You're still training, so if anyone challenges you, just run away," she said quickly.

            "I'm leaving!"

            And I did. I had the key on a chain around my neck--courtesy of one Kaoru Kamiya--the phone at my waist, and I was ready for anything. I greeted the hostess briefly and ran out into the dusk.

^_^

            Contrary to Kaoru's concern, the portion of the neighborhood where we stayed was perfectly safe. Because of the warm night, I was not the only person out. I ran down the sidewalk, passing children playing in their yards, families having barbecues, a woman running with her dog--which tried to chase me for awhile--and a pair of girls playing hopscotch on chalk squares.

            I got some stares, actually. I was used to that, so it didn't bother me, but it was interesting. I got the distinct impression that it was more because I was a stranger rather than my appearance. The lady with the dog even admitted that the big Husky usually did not chase people and that it must have been because I was unfamiliar. That was an amusing enough situation, considering that dumb dog very nearly outweighed me and was horribly aggressive--I got a bruise on my side to prove it.

            The stores were not yet closed for the night when I found my way to the main street. I got a couple of curious glances as I jogged past the casual shopper, but for the most part people ignored me. It was just as well. Then, I could study everyone else without getting into trouble. I ran past a few diners, several of those antique and gift shops, a flower shop, and a general store. By the time I reached McDonalds, I decided I was getting too close to modern civilization and turned around. It was about ten minutes after eight at that point, and I fully expected to get a phone call from an annoyed and worried Kaoru, demanding to know where I was. Nevertheless, I kept up my pace. It would have been stupid to sprint and waste myself trying to make it back by eight-thirty.

            I took more time in getting back than I predicted, though. A few of those kids who had been playing catch the first time I ran by were on the sidewalk by the time I returned. They saw me coming and huddled around the edge of the sidewalk suspiciously. I glanced at them uneasily, wondering what they had been doing that they would look so guilty when a person chanced by.

            Of course, I no longer had to wonder when a shock of cold hit me. I was so startled that I yelped, staggering and flinching away from it. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, shocked at what these kids--total strangers--had done. My clothes clung to me uncomfortably, and it was not from the usual sweat. I certainly had never sweat that much in my life. Water dripped down me, puddling on the sidewalk beneath my feet.

            _What the _hell_ was that?!_ I stared at them in disbelief, not quite certain how to react. I was soaked. The evening was not _that_ warm, so I quickly started shivering, and those boys just hovered back, snickering and grinning nervously. There were three of them, and the front one had light brown hair and blue eyes. Oddly enough, he reminded me of Yahiko, Sano's little brother--insolent and cocky.

            "Oh, my god! _YUTAROU!_" a girl's voice shrieked, presumably at one of the three in front of me. The front boy ducked his head, and he and his friends darted away, laughing their heads off. I, of course, just stood there like an idiot, wondering what the hell had just happened. "My god, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

            It was so stupid it was almost funny. I chuckled despite myself and nodded, looking to the girl who had come to my rescue. She had blue eyes like that boy, but her hair was lighter, more of a dishwater blond. She moved slowly, almost awkwardly. A quick glance to her swollen stomach explained why. She was probably eight months along.

            "I'm sorry," she said again. "My brother can be a bit brash sometimes... I..." It was odd how she stared at me, narrowing her eyes as if she had a difficult time seeing such a distance (and we were less than an arm's length apart). "Kenshin?"

            Well, that explained things. I looked at her curiously, trying to figure out if I knew her. Her face was pale, her plain blue eyes looking darker with those purple smudges under her eyes. The pregnancy, it seemed, was not treating her kindly. But that look in her eyes--concerned and gently prying--was familiar.

            "Jenny?" the name found my tongue before I realized I recognized her. She smiled.

            "I'm surprised you remember me," she murmured.

            "Barely," I admitted. "We had a few classes together, didn't we?"

            "Yeah..." she nodded. "You look good! Well, wet. But good."

            "Yeah," I echoed. "And you... you're..." I choked on the 'you're pregnant!' comment. Too many times had I seen people embarrass themselves by declaring that only to discover the woman was not, indeed, pregnant. "You're looking..."

            "Like a whale?" she offered. I bit my lip and shook my head, knowing my face was red and unable to stop it. She laughed. "I know. Baby's due in early April."

            "Wow..." was all I could think of to say. She was my age. Nineteen seemed far too young for having a child.

            "My second," she said, shocking me even more. "My first boy is almost fifteen months. I'd show you, but his dad is putting him in bed now."

            "His... dad?" I stammered. Too... much... brain... overloading... This was worse than Sanosuke and Megumi's engagement announcement! This girl--a girl I graduated with--was already married and pregnant for the second time!

            "You wouldn't know him," she shook her head. "His name is Miroku... and I'm being really rude. Come on in. Let's get you dried off."*

            Her house was certainly not the model of prosperity. It was quaint and small, messy from not enough time spent cleaning and more time spent keeping up with everything else life had to offer. Even so, the towel she handed me was clean and warmed me nicely. The kitchen was small and cozy, comforting in a way.

            I scrubbed my hair as dry as I could get it, glancing around the little kitchen curiously. Jenny picked up what looked to be her dinner, which consisted of rice and burnt chicken.

            "Would you like something to drink?" she offered. She smiled while I shook my head. "I'd offer something to eat, but I'm not a good cook, and Miroku doesn't know the difference between a spatula and a frying pan."

            "I'm sure you're not as bad as--" I cut off before I finished that. Whoops. I needed to banish such thoughts from my head before they came out at the wrong time and got me into trouble. "Uh... I'm fine anyway. I had dinner not too long ago."

            Jenny smiled, apparently amused by my blunder. That smile changed a little, looking strange. It was kind of sad... rueful, but warm and glad at the same time.

            "You really do look good," she said again. "Healthier."

            "Oh... yeah." The kitchen that had seemed so nice a second ago suddenly felt suffocatingly small. I wished she would not have brought _that_ up. "Yeah, I am."

            "What are you doing?" she asked mildly.

            "I'm on break," I replied cautiously. "I'm taking classes at the U of M in Minneapolis. I live on campus there."

            "An apartment?"

            "The dorms still," I shook my head. "What about you? Do you work?"

            "A little," she nodded. "Miroku works with the bank in their Auditing department and does well enough. He does a lot of volunteer work for the Lutheran church a few blocks down. You might have passed it."

            I nodded absently, even though I did not remember seeing any church. Jenny smiled again.

            "I work at the flower shop in town," she said. "It's a nice little job, and it gives me a break from the baby."

            "That's good." It was getting awkward. It got even stranger when Jenny set her fork on her plate, which was balanced in one hand, and reached over to brush at the hair that hung in my eyes. She smiled that funny smile again. I clenched that towel in my hands to keep from pushing her hands away. It was weird... I barely knew her, even in high school, and she was touching my hair. I was not sure I liked it.

            "I'm glad you're doing well," she murmured. "I always felt bad for you, you know? You looked so unhappy... and sick."

            I frowned uneasily.

            "Yes, well--"

            "You have a girlfriend?" she interrupted.

            "No, I--"

            "Too bad," she set the plate down and smiled at me, this time with a self-conscious flush of pink on her cheeks. "You know, I used to have a crush on you?"

            God, _why?_ I was such a loser in high school. Hell, I was still kind of a loser. A blushing loser, but a loser.

            "Oh, umm..."

            "You know why I didn't ask you out?" she asked. She seemed to be against letting me talk.

            "Actually..." Of course I didn't. And did I really want to know? Probably not.

            Something buzzed against my side, joined with a clearly audible ring, and I jumped. Damned vibrating mode. I hated that. But it did give me an excuse. I fumbled for the phone and put it to my ear.

            "Kenshin, are you okay?" was the first thing Kaoru asked.

            "Fine, Kaoru," I sighed. "I should be back soon."

            "How far did you go?" she asked conversationally.

            "I don't know," I muttered, glancing at Jenny uneasily. The girl just smiled knowingly. "I ran into someone I knew--"

            "A guy from the U?" she interrupted me. She had been doing that a lot. We needed to discuss that. It was rude.

            "A girl from high school," I retorted. "Her brother doused me with a hose, and I'm drying off."

            "You're... what?" For god's sake. What was not to understand? I was wet, so I dried off, courtesy of the towel provided by Jenny.

            "I'll see you in a bit," I said, hoping she'd get the hint and let it finally drop. Jenny just kept watching me. "Stop worrying so much."

            "I'll talk to you later--"

            "Yeah," I broke in. I wished the pregnant woman standing three feet away from me would stop smirking at me like that. "Later."

            I hung up and put the phone back in its holster. I shifted, ready to leave this grinning girl in front of me.

            "Sorry," I said, folding the towel and draping it over the back of a nearby chair. Jenny seemed to get the hint, and she started moving toward the door.

            "That must be the girlfriend you don't have," she decided.

            "No..." I grumbled, frowning at her. "That was Kaoru. She's... a good friend."

            "Which brings me back to why I never asked you out!" The woman had a one-track mind. I had the feeling she was going to try to embarrass me.

            "You would have had everyone talking about you if you hung out with me," I predicted. I unzipped my jacket and shook out some of the water to keep myself busy while she answered. However, I was thoroughly drenched, and only a new pair of clothes would solve that problem.

            "Well, there was that," she giggled. "Mostly, I did not think you'd go for it."

            "Go for it?" I asked against my better judgment.

            "Rumor had it you were a girl in all ways but the most rudimentary."

            I froze with my hand on the doorknob. It was something that should have embarrassed me--and it did, to some extent--but I did not blush this time. I looked at Jenny, a little leery of what, exactly, she meant by that statement.

            She smiled like she had some wicked thoughts in her head. I did not doubt for a minute that she did. She was the one who was twice pregnant, after all. I was certain those things did not embarrass her quite as much as they did me.

            "And your total disinterest in the girls around you seemed to support it," she added.

            I had not been interested in anything in high school. My only interest had been getting _out_. Her words did not surprise me, although they did not please me either.

            "Ah," I nodded absently. "I see. I guess it's all for the best. You found someone else."

            "Someone who got me pregnant my first semester in college," she shook her head. She smiled wearily. "But he takes care of me."

            "You're lucky," I agreed, stepping outside.

            "No _way!_" a boy's voice cut through whatever Jenny had been planning to say. We both looked to see her brother and his friends, once again playing catch in the yard. One of the other kids had shouted, but Yutarou was laughing as much as his friends. They were staring at us, so it did not make me very comfortable. "I thought you said that was one of your sister's friends!"

            "I _thought_ it was!" Yutarou called back. "How was _I _supposed to know he was a guy?!"

            "Can I do something really rotten to your brother, Jenny?" I asked quietly.

            "Please do," she laughed. "As long as it doesn't hurt him."

            "Good," I nodded and smiled at her. "It was nice to see you."

            "Likewise," she clasped my hand briefly, squeezing it, and let it drop. "Stop by the flower shop before you leave town. I'm working tomorrow afternoon and Thursday morning."

            "I'll do that," I promised, then turned to leave.

            "Oh, and Kenshin?"

            "Hm?" I looked back at her. She grinned, a slight flush finally coming to her white cheeks.

            "Get him good."

            I smirked and turned. It was time to have my fun.

            Yutarou and his friends were confused right from the start. I walked to the main sidewalk and paused by that hose. They had stupidly left it where they last dropped it, and it was leaking water from the hand sprayer. I picked it up, getting some dead grass on my hands in the process. I used the sprayer to clean my fingers, wiped my hands on my already-wet pants, and stooped to drop the hose again. And just when I had them feeling safe again, I turned and squeezed the handle on the sprayer.

            Payback was fun. Those boys had to go inside for the night after I was through with them.

^_^

*Miroku.... his presence is a bit of a joke. He's a major character in Inu Yasha and has this tendency to be guided by his um... well, his sex drive. He has been known to introduce himself to women by immediately asking that they bear his child. I just thought he deserved to get lucky.

^_^

            _I hated this place. How did I get here? I had not done anything in years. I swear to _God_ with a capital 'G' that I've been good. A cigarette now and then when I was stressed, but even then I've only smoked about six in the past three years!_

_            So why did I feel so sick? I sat on the floor in front of the toilet, contemplating throwing up. It never made me feel better when I did, but maybe this time it would. I leaned forward against the rim, staring down into the clear water._

_            And what was that smell?! It was so strong! It made me feel worse, and I really thought I was going to be sick._

_            A familiar odor, but I could not place it. Lavender? No... something worse but less flowery. Something sickeningly sweet and... oh, god. Why would they put something like that in here? It's... ugh..._

            I scrambled out of bed and promptly crumpled to the cool wooden floor, which was much farther away than I had expected. My gasping breaths were horribly loud, and I hoped I did not wake Kaoru. I also hoped I did not get sick on the floor. That would be difficult to explain and an embarrassing mess, not to mention they would probably charge us extra for the cleanup.

            "What was that? Kenshin?"

            So much for not waking Kaoru. At least I felt better. Something in the air had cleared, and the sick feeling was fading with it. Unfortunately, it was not quickly enough for me to recover before Kaoru got to my side.

            "Kenshin, are you okay?" she murmured, kneeling beside me and feeling my forehead.

            "Fine..." I swallowed down the last of the nausea and sighed in relief. "Just something... something smells in here."

            "It's vanilla," she decided. "Don't you like it?"

            "No, but that's not..." I frowned and looked at the bed I was using, a dark shadow pressed against the wall. It was not so strong here, but on that bed...

            "Kenshin?" Kaoru was puzzled when I pushed away from her and climbed back onto the bed. I just shook my head and leaned down, reaching between the bed and the wall. My fingers brushed along the wall, and I wondered if I was reaching far enough. I ended up laying flat on the bed, sliding my hand along the wall below me. The odor was particularly strong there.

            "Kenshin, what are you doing?" Kaoru asked.

            My hand hit something, and I traced it. It was in an electrical socket.

            "You're acting really oddly, Kenshin," Kaoru said anxiously.

            I yanked the thing out of its plug-in and sat up, studying what I had just sabotaged. I could barely see it in the dark, but Kaoru recognized it immediately.

            "That looks like one of those plug-in air fresheners," she said, sounding surprised.

            "It's awful," I decided, holding my nose and walking the thing into the bathroom where I promptly dropped it into the trash can. "It's making me sick."

            "You want to sleep in the other bed?" Kaoru offered.

            "Then _you_ would have to put up with that smell," I reminded her. The odor would probably linger for days, but at least it would start to fade. "I'll just... uh..." What _would_ I do? I certainly was not sleeping in that bed, and I could not move it off that raised section of the floor, especially since closer inspection revealed the bed to be bolted in place. But the floor was too hard.

            Kaoru touched my arm, and I looked at her. She smiled.

            "It's a full-sized," she stated, reaching up again to touch my sweaty forehead. "You poor thing. Come on. I don't bite, and I can put up with your snapping and growling."

            "I'm not all that comfortable with this," I protested weakly, even as she pushed down the covers on the section of the bed she had not been using and made me sit on it. "Kaoru, can't we ask for another room?"

            "The people that run this place sleep too," Kaoru shushed me with a finger to my lips. I looked down at my lap to escape it. That stupid air freshener had put me into this position, and I could not come up with a good way to get out of it. "Calm down. Tomorrow night, after the smell goes away a bit, I'll sleep over there, okay?"

            "Just don't kick me or anything," I muttered, trying to lighten the situation a bit. It worked. Kaoru giggled.

            "You're pretty silly, Kenshin," she informed me. "Lay down and go to sleep."

            And that was how I ended up sharing a bed with Kaoru that night. Quite honestly, I was not worried about her, or what she would do. Unless she shoved me off the bed again, that is. No, the truth of the matter was, my concern laid with what _I_ would do. Whether it was from years of having a blanket or a stuffed animal in the sheets with me or something else entirely, I had this odd tendency to cuddle up to things in my sleep. It was an embarrassing habit, and I was afraid that it might rear its ugly head if I did this. But maybe... if I held the extra pillow against me...

^_^

            I woke before the alarm the next morning. The bed was unfamiliar, and I was a little warmer than I was accustomed to being, and it pulled me out of sleep early. That... and someone was running their fingers through my hair.

            The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was blue cotton. As my eyes came into focus, I realized what I was seeing was not, in fact, solid blue, but white with hundreds of little blue flowers nearly covering it. The cotton shifted a bit, rising and falling regularly.

            I sighed and closed my eyes again, too tired to figure out that riddle. I set my hazy mind to the hand on my head. Who would be doing that? Who else was in the room? I shifted slightly, my hand moving out from under me and brushing that flowery cotton. My other hand was on a raised surface that also moved like the rising and falling cotton.

            "Good morning, Kenshin."

            How horribly embarrassing. Despite my efforts, I had ended up pressed against the girl's side. That cotton was her pajama top, and that raised surface was her stomach. But she just kept brushing her fingers through my hair, not saying anything else.

            "Sorry," I muttered. I forced myself awake and carefully pulled away from her. During the night, I had invaded her space, it seemed. My fingers cramped a bit when I made them release the hem of Kaoru's nightshirt, and I flexed them a bit, massaging my hand as I rolled away. "You should have woken me."

            "I don't mind," Kaoru countered, sitting up behind me. I let my legs dangle off the edge of the bed. Damn it, but my hand hurt. "It's funny, if you think about it."

            "What's funny?" I grumbled, my face feeling warm. The bed squeaked and shifted, and I felt Kaoru's hands on my shoulders. She leaned forward against my back, resting her chin on one of her hands, her cheek brushing mine.

            "You're never so cuddly when you're awake," she murmured, then giggled. "I have to twist your arm to get you to hug me."

            "Mmmm," I moaned in protest. The sound was roughly translated as: 'Leave me alone!' Kaoru, unfortunately, had yet to master the art of understanding grunts. She was going to have to learn that if she was ever going to survive a life with a man.

            "I'll bet you were just a cute little thing when you were younger!" she was still giggling, as if the very thought of me being a child amused her. "A laughing, huggable, adorable little boy!"

            I snorted and stood, turning to look down at her. She blinked at me, startled by my sudden move. She looked so surprised... as if she had honestly expected me just to give in and let her continue to coddle me. While I was asleep was one thing, but while I was awake? Hugging was saved for special occasions.

            "Yeah, I was," I agreed abruptly, startling her again. Her eyes got really wide. "Everybody liked me. Until I screwed it all up." I offered a wry grin to take some of the sting out of the words. There was no need to dampen the day right from the start. "But that's in the past. Let's talk breakfast. When can we eat?"

            Kaoru was slow to respond to my forced cheer. She smiled finally and glanced at the clock.

            "Eight o'clock," she told me. "That's when they serve breakfast."

            It was six. Two hours. I was not going to survive.

^_^

End Notes: Okay, that air freshener thing was not so far-fetched. It's happened to me, although it was so strong when I got in there, I couldn't even go near the bed. I unplugged the thing, dumped it, and had to share a bed with my mom. It was freesia or something.

You all will be pleased to know (I hope) that the next chapter will not be nearly so long in coming. As it is already mostly written, and I don't have the stress I had on me that last couple weeks, it probably won't be more than a week. Yay for timely updating!

**Random Omake**

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* The hamburgers were edible, and it did not cost an arm and a leg.

**Waiter**: You want the half-pounder? That runs at a flat rate of one kidney and a femur. Would you like any anesthesia with that?

**Kenshin & Kaoru**: o.O

**Kenshin**: *muttering* Kaoru?

**Kaoru**: *whimpering* Yeah?

**Kenshin**: Run.

**Both**: *sprint out of the restaurant*

**Waiter**: *shouting after them* Wait! We're offering one free pint of plasma with that! Are you sure you won't reconsider?!

**Kenshin & Kaoru**: *long gone*

**Restaurant Manager**: That's the twenty-seventh one today.

**Waiter**: *sullen nod*

And another **Random Omake**!

**Kaoru**: A laughing, huggable, adorable little boy!

**Kenshin**: Is that a word?

**Kaoru**: Huh?

**Kenshin**: 'Huggable.' You made that up!

**Kaoru**: ...Stupid English majors.

**Kenshin**: Hey!

(Fitz notes: 'Huggable' _is_ a word, but the spell check on the computer did not like it. For some reason, it kept asking me if I wanted to replace it with 'haggle.')

To the Reviewers!

As I had so many reviews this chapter (thank you all so much), I cut back a bit on the responses so you don't have to scroll through pages of notes. For those who asked/commented about something specific, I answered that. For compliments and/or demands *smirk* I'm afraid all I can do is thank you. On the flip side, if you guys really want me to take up two pages in comments at the end, let me know. I'll be more than happy to do it.

SO!

Gemin16, Chiki, Gochan, Val, Hana Himura, Koneko-chan, C-Chan, Luce, nymph, omochi, marstanuki, tesuka-chan, Fuuko-san, Haiiro, Gemini, nekonomiko, yuki, Vesca, Yoruko, Farseeker, dernhelm AND MinaXP… thanks so much for your comments. It really means a lot to me.

Answers and stuff:

**Calger459**: Ah. You're mostly right. Kenshin is somewhat uncomfortable with the homosexuality issue—not of those who _are_ homosexual, but of those who imply/pressure him into thinking he is homosexual. That is why he jumped away from Katsu but became friends with Kamatari. As for the kiss, I suppose I was basing it off what _I would do (and a great number of my friends). If a close friend of mine did that, I would pretty much sit there until they finished. Granted, if there was more than just a plain kiss (like the person tried to French me or get me into bed) yeah, I might go a little crazy. Long explanation/justification. My apologies, and thank you for the review.****_

**Akai Kitsune**: I've searched for She-Ra and have yet to have success.

**Gypsy-chan**: to whom I already responded. Thanks for the email!

**Triton Bloom**: Battousai is not a character in this story, mainly because Kenshin never learned swordsmanship, and therefore could not possibly know Battou jitsu, the basis of his namesake.


	20. A guy's worst nightmare

**Disclaimer**: *muttergrumble* I don't own anything, anywhere, ever. *Mumble*

**Notes**: Alrighty then! We have the conclusion to the Stillwater scenario. Thanks everyone for being patient with me. I've had projects, papers, and countless other things to do lately. Finals are rushing up on me, and I am _so looking forward to my own Spring Break. *kicks self for 2 and 3 hour nights of sleep* Some of this was written in the wee hours of the morning, so __do read the warnings._

Kenshin: *whimper* Why are you so mean to me, Fitz-dono?

Fitz: Because it's fun and I'm just that kind of person.

Kenshin: I thought you liked me!

Fitz: You know the old cliché. We hurt the ones we love.

Kamatari: Poor sweetheart. Come to Kama-chan. I'll make you feel better!

Kenshin: We talked about this…

**Warnings**: Almost to an R rating here, but I don't go into enough detail, and the 'F' word is only said once. Implications of assault, followed by a lot of angst, followed by gobs of sap.

Onward!

My Life

            Abigail and Harold Swenson, the other people in the place, joined us at the table for breakfast that morning. The caretakers had made a huge breakfast with all sorts of stuff I could not identify. I stuck with the toast and fruit, knowing that to be safe. The hostess labeled each dish, but it all looked pretty awful. Kaoru and the other couple could eat it if they wanted.

            "Are you two here on vacation?" Mrs. Swenson asked, her wrinkled face drawing up into a smile.

            "Spring break," Kaoru answered cheerfully. "We were going to go to California, but the plans fell through, no thanks to _someone_ I know."

            "You know very well I did not arrange for that to happen!" I retorted automatically, even as it registered that Kaoru was teasing me. Oh well. "I couldn't just _leave_ him without straightening everything out!"

            "I know, I know," Kaoru laughed and patted my hand. I pulled my hand away, glaring at her, but she just continued to smile. "It wasn't your fault."

            "Damn right, it wasn't my fault," I groused.

            "Be nice," Kaoru warned. I scowled and went back to applying butter to my toast. Kaoru grinned at the Mrs. Swenson. "We had a rough night last night." She leaned forward to say in a stage whisper that I could hear quite clearly. "Someone suffers from nightmares."

            My yelp of protest came out like an indignant squeak while I had food in my mouth. Mr. and Mrs. Swenson were looking at me sympathetically. I was going to get Kaoru for this.

            "Poor dear," Mrs. Swenson smiled warmly at me, and I managed a weak smile in return. "It happens to the best of us."

            "I didn't have a nightmare." I had finally swallowed my food so I could respond and defend myself. "There was a thing plugged into the wall that smelled."

            "Did Gloria put that air freshener there again?" the hostess's husband came in with a big smile. He had on a grease-stained cooking apron that displayed his gut all too well. "I told her not to do it. It's too strong. But she insists it's nice. Wait until I tell her--"

            "Tell me what, Frank?"

            "Nothing, dear!"

            Kaoru giggled beside me, as did Mrs. Swenson. The old woman lightly elbowed her husband in the side, and he managed to look very sheepish. I got the distinct impression that it was something of an ironic situation for them. I was not so amused, but I kept my peace by lifting my orange juice to my lips.

            "Just goes to prove that the woman is the _true_ head of the household," Mrs. Swenson laughed merrily. "Don't you agree, girls?"

            I choked on my juice. The glass barely made it to the table, and Kaoru might have caught it so it did not spill all over the white tablecloth. I spent the next few minutes coughing, while Kaoru patted my back and asked if I was okay. Mr. and Mrs. Swenson looked on, adding in their own words of concern.

            After I was able to breathe again, I wiped my eyes and reached again for my orange juice.

            "I'm cutting my hair this week," I announced. My voice was weak and hoarse, and it was a miracle anyone heard me.

            "Don't you _dare!_" Kaoru hollered in my ear. "I _love_ your hair! I will never forgive you if you cut it!"

            "Oh my," Mrs. Swenson blinked at us. "Did I miss something?"

            "Oh no," Kaoru laughed, suddenly all sugar and sweetness for the old lady. "Kenshin's just self-conscious because he's such a girly-looking boy."

            "Boy?" Mrs. Swenson echoed.

            "Kids these days," Mr. Swenson grunted. "You know how it is, Gail. Body piercings, dyed hair... at least he doesn't have a mohawk."

            I didn't have piercings, and my hair was _not_ dyed! Kids these days? What about those _old_ people! Cynics, the lot of them!

            "Don't worry about him, dear," Mrs. Swenson smiled. Apparently, I did not do such a good job at hiding my irritation at the man's comment. "He's just an old putz."

            Mr. Swenson snorted.

            "You look fine," Mrs. Swenson continued. "_Our_ children were teenagers in the sixties. That was the time when you could practically buy marijuana at the corner store, and there was a bong in ever club's back room. It was tough getting our children away from that."

            Uh... okay, I never used a bong. At least I could say that. Beside me, Kaoru's giggling had died in her throat, and I knew what she was thinking. Too close for comfort. So, for once, I took the reins of the situation.

            "Thank you, Mrs. Swenson," I said, offering my brightest smile. "However, it would clear up many misconceptions if I just cut my hair shorter."

            "And deny me the opportunity to play with it?" Kaoru smacked me upside the head.

            "Ow!"

            "You're not cutting your hair, and that's final!" she concluded.

            "We'll see," I allowed, smirking at her. But she had a point. I was used to it being so long and was loath to butcher it into one of those close-cropped styles that were so popular these days. And since none of my friends minded how I looked, why should I change? I hated change anyway.

            "You will be a smear in the dirt if I find out you cut your hair," Kaoru muttered around the last of her breakfast. I smiled and sipped my orange juice.

^_^

            Nine o'clock, Kaoru and I bid that couple a good day and went to her car. As ordered, I was dressed in comfortable clothes and my usual tennis shoes. Kaoru did the same, and I had come up with a few different reasons why: we were going hiking, running, wandering through the slums... The possibilities were there, but I was wrong on all accounts. I figured that much out when I saw the last of Stillwater disappear behind us to be replaced by open highway.

            "Where are we going?" I asked as I stared over my shoulder at the fading houses.

            "Edina."

            "_Edina__?_" I looked at her in shock. "That's clear across the cities! Why are we going all the way over there?"

            "Because," she was grinning, but her eyes never left the road.

            "Kaoru!" I groaned. "Why go to Stillwater if we're just going to leave to go to _Edina_?"

            "Because Stillwater is not as developed and has nicer Bed and Breakfasts than Edina has," she replied easily. "That, and the place I wanted in Edina was not open in the middle of the week."

            "What's in Edina, Kaoru?" I asked again.

            "Snooty rich people?" she offered. That little--! I scowled at her, trying to keep from complaining. She smiled blithely, completely aware of my irritation but apparently not about to give up that information yet.

            "We're driving for an hour to go watch snooty rich people," I said.

            "Of course not, silly," Kaoru's smile grew. "We're going to join them!"

            "Where?"

            "Not telling."

            "Kaoru!"

            "Nope."

            We spent the next ten minutes bickering over that. Well, not so much bickering as complaining and bantering. I tried to pry the information out of her, and she just came back with clever retorts and infuriating denials. After awhile, I got so frustrated that I finally stopped asking and sat back to listen to the music and ignore her out of principle. Kaoru did not like that much either.

            "...Are you even listening to me?" she demanded after a monologue that had lasted nearly five minutes. Of course I was listening. I was just pouting and not answering.

            I grunted softly in acknowledgment. She didn't like that.

            "Jerk."

            We rode another ten minutes in silence before we started talking about that coming week and all the projects we had to finish by the end of break. By mutual agreement, we did not try to talk about what we were doing that day. Kaoru did not want to argue, and I did not want the frustration. And anyway, I found out why she would not tell me when we got there...

^_^

            A _day spa?!_ I glanced around the place uncomfortably while Kaoru confirmed our reservations. The receptionist told us to wait in the lounge, and that was where I confronted Kaoru. She was ready for me, though. She probably had predicted my reaction.

            "Before you say anything bad, just sit down and take a few breaths," she said with a mischievous little grin. "It'll be fun."

            I sat down as she pushed me to do and frowned at her.

            "A _spa_?" I demanded.

            "Oh, let yourself be pampered once in awhile!"

            "If I want to pamper myself, I'll take a nap in the afternoon," I hissed. "And in my home, not a place so... frilly."

            "Frilly?" she challenged. I knew that tone of voice. I was about to get reamed for my choice of words. But for god's sake! She had taken me to a place where women fussed around you and did your nails and played with your hair and gave you makeovers.

            "Spas are..." I was going to get in trouble for this. "They're for _girls!_"

            "Don't be silly!" Kaoru snapped back immediately. Despite the irritated response, her eyes were not mad. She thought this was funny! "Plenty of men come to this place."

            "Puffy, overindulged _rich men!_" I shot back.

            "Are you trying to imply that _real_ men don't visit day spas?" Kaoru asked. "And I suppose you think you're the perfect example of a rugged, male specimen."

            I stared at her. That was harsh. Just because I sometimes looked like a girl did not mean I was completely without testosterone. And it was _not_ just me being stubborn about the whole 'day spa' thing. I did not know a single guy who--correction--I knew of only _one_ guy who would go for this, and he was a gay transvestite. Of course... Katsu was questionable, but he walked off the path too. If Sano ever found out about this, I would never hear the end of it!

            "Don't give me those puppy eyes," Kaoru whined suddenly.

            Puppy eyes? I did not do _puppy eyes_. I could glare bloody murder at a person, but I did not go all doe-eyed at people. I proved it by frowning at her.

            "That's better," Kaoru agreed. "Just behave yourself. I promise, you won't have a miserable time--"

            "Miss Kamiya? Mr. Himura?"

            We looked up from our argument to see a woman standing in the lounge, smiling down at us.

            "Right this way, please."

^_^

            Okay, so it was not _that_ bad. I felt pretty dumb while some lady gave me a pedicure--_no_, she did not paint my toenails!--but Kaoru was not far from me, so it was not too awkward. She laughed at me when I squirmed away from tickling fingers and then distracted me by talking about what we were going to do for dinner that night.

            "Got any preferences?" she wondered.

            "I've only ever had two places I won't go near," I replied, jumping again when that lady touched the bottom of my foot. I wished she would stop doing that. "You know what they are."

            "I don't think I'll ever go to Burger King again after what you told me," Kaoru groaned.

            "You were the one who was prying," I retorted. "You asked for it."

            "I suppose," she sighed. She grinned and pointed at a color when the woman fussing with _her_ feet held out some polish. She picked up another one--some weird purple color. "Kenshin, you should paint your nails. This would match your eyes perfectly!"

            I grimaced. And I had just been thinking what an awful color that stuff was.

            "Don't push it, Kaoru," I shook my head. She just giggled and held out the little polish bottle to the woman in front of her.

            "I'll use this one then," she declared.

            Weird girl. The lady looked at it, then up at Kaoru with a little smile.

            "The other color would look better," she advised.

            "Yeah, but this one is prettier," Kaoru nodded. "And I'll remember more when I look at it."

            The woman looked at me for a minute, then looked back to Kaoru.

            "I imagine the color will suit you just fine," she decided finally. Strange. Just a moment ago, she had been saying she did not like it.

            Kaoru blushed at the lady's comment. It must have been a girl thing because I did not see any reason for Kaoru to be embarrassed. But she was smiling, so it must not have been too embarrassing.

            "You think so?" she asked.

            "It's one of those colors that just grows on you," the pedicurist said with a smile. "It should do well for you."

            Did women always get into deep discussions about what color nail polish they were wearing? The lady in front of me was giggling, and I knew I was missing something.

            "What's so funny?" I asked curiously. She tickled my foot again, and I jumped away, yelping a complaint. She laughed.

            "I'd have to say _you_ are," she replied finally.

            Women were confusing.

^_^

            After that, we got our hands taken care of. Kaoru chose that same weird color for her nails, and I refused to let them put clear polish on me. My hands felt funny afterwards, but it wasn't really a bad feeling, so I didn't complain.

            They fussed with our hair for awhile. Aware Kaoru was giving me a death glare, I reluctantly told the hair stylist that I just wanted a trim. Kaoru had some highlights put into to her hair, but I could barely tell the difference. Her response was one that made me feel pretty dumb.

            "It'll be more noticeable when my hair dries, silly," she giggled.

            Recalling Mr. Swenson's comments that morning, I nearly chose to let the lady put highlights in my hair. In the end, though, it was too strange for me so I told her no. So she just trimmed it a little and then twisted it up in a towel and sent me to sit by Kaoru until they were ready to do something else to us.

^_^

            The facial was just plain weird. Granted, the little massage was nice, but then they started putting junk on my skin that I could have done without. It smelled funny, felt funny, and all around was just annoying. The lady claimed it would--and did--make my skin 'baby soft.' What guy did not want a face smoother than a baby's bottom? Honestly. I didn't care what they said about the results of shaving, not that I ever shaved. (Apparently, this was because of the lower-than-usual levels of testosterone in my blood. I would likely never have to shave. How embarrassing.)

            After they washed that stuff off our faces, they finally sent us to different rooms. I was a little reluctant when another woman led me down the hall, away from Kaoru. The only reason I had not stood up and left yet was because Kaoru had been there to keep me from feeling too stupid. But they said the last hour would be spent by ourselves, something about some time for quiet reflection and relaxation. It sounded like some meditation session. Well, I was reflecting, and my tension level was not going down. Couldn't we meditate in the same room?

            "Here we are," the woman walked into a dimly lit room. She walked over to a strange, cushioned table and fiddled with something under it. Smiling at me, she straightened and walked back to the door. "Go ahead and take off your clothes and lay face-down on the table. You can leave your underwear on if you like. If you want your glute's worked, then take them off."

            My mind was not cooperating. I had a difficult time wrapping it around the concept of 'removing my clothes' and 'getting my _glute's_ worked.' The lady did not correctly interpret my confusion, though.

            "Your clothes can go over on that chair," she pointed. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

            She closed the door, leaving me alone in the little darkened room. Glancing back at that odd-looking table, I finally figured out what was going to happen. It was a little intimidating, the thought of getting mostly naked and just laying prone on a raised surface like that, but these people _were_ professionals, and I was sure they did everything they could to avoid any harassment lawsuits.

            So, I did what she asked--leaving my underwear on--and waited for her to return.

^_^

            I felt like a big, mushy lump. A day of being pampered was exhausting. Kaoru looked weary too, but she managed to act more alert than I felt. She paid the bill before I could stop her, smiling when I glared at her.

            "You can pay for dinner," she said.

            I could agree to that. Of course, that meant I would have to be awake when we went to eat. Kaoru pointed out that we would have a couple hours to rest before we would eat anyway. By the time we got back to the Bed and Breakfast, I was ready for a long nap. Kaoru went into the bathroom and started a bath for herself while I collapsed on the bed and fell away from the world.

^_^

            Kaoru let me sleep for over an hour. By that point, I was drifting in and out of sleep. My body was still heavy, my mind hazy, and I was not ready to get up. I heard a hair dryer in the background at one point. That stopped, and darkness rolled over me again. It was kind of nice, feeling so content and relaxed.

            Finally, someone sat next to me on the bed, and there was a hand on my shoulder, nudging me lightly.

            "Kenshin," Kaoru's call made me groan in protest. "Wake up."

            "What time..." I mumbled into the pillow.

            "We should leave in a little less than an hour," she murmured. I groused silently. If I had nearly an hour, then why did I have to get up? It would take me ten minutes to be ready. "You're all oily, Kenshin. You need a shower."

            I sighed and rolled to my back to look up at her. It took me a minute to register her serious lack in proper clothing. She had a towel wrapped around her, bra straps showing that she had _something_ on, but she was preserving her modesty with that large cloth. That did not mean it was perfectly natural to look up and see this, however. When had she gotten so comfortable around me that she was willing to come out less than half dressed in front of me?

            Kaoru giggled as I glanced away, my cheeks burning. It was awkward getting away from her. Since she was blocking the easiest way out of the bed, I had to go the other direction, which meant I was crawling over half of the full-sized bed just to get to the floor. And then, I had to walk past Kaoru again just to get to the bathroom.

            _Why is she doing this?!_ My thoughts were running wild as I dug through my bag for a clean pair of clothes. _Why didn't she put any clothes on before waking me? Why does she insist on embarrassing me like this? I wish my face would stop turning into a tomato. I never used to be so easily embarrassed! Damn it all! My hair is so greasy..._

            Grumbling to myself about the oils they used at that spa, I trudged into the bathroom. I kept my eyes down the entire time, but Kaoru was too close, and I could still see her bare legs--her feet with that weird purple color on her nails. The towel was high against her thighs, barely covering the essentials. She probably had underpants on, but--but... _God!_ I wanted to throw my clothes at her and demand she put them on that minute.

            My stomach was doing acrobatics by the time I shut the door on the rest of the room, Kaoru included. I leaned back against the door and closed my eyes, hugging my clean clothes to my chest. Taking a deep breath to help dispel my discomfort, I opened my eyes again and pushed away from the door.

            I was going to have to take a cold shower to recover from that one.

^_^

            Kaoru was fully dressed by the time I ventured out of the bathroom. She was on the bed, flat on her back with her arms and legs flung out like she had just fallen there, and her eyes were closed. She wasn't sleeping because sleeping people don't jump at the sound of a creaky boards, of which about ninety percent of the floor was made. I put my dirty clothes in my bag and glanced at the clock. I had been in the bathroom for almost forty minutes. A long time, but I had decided to dry my hair, more because I was stalling than for any other reason.

            "Have a nice bath?" Kaoru asked, her voice slurred and relaxed.

            "Shower," I corrected. "It was fine."

            It _had_ been cold. Kaoru had used all the hot water earlier.

            "Time to go?" she mumbled.

            "About fifteen minutes," I replied.

            "Oh."

            I stood there awkwardly, wondering what I was supposed to do with myself those fifteen minutes while Kaoru just laid there.

            "Sit down, Kenshin," Kaoru's voice made me jump. "It feels weird with you standing over me like that."

            I glanced over to the uncomfortable looking wicker chair in the corner, then at that bed I had fled the previous night. Neither option appealed. Then, Kaoru grabbed my wrist.

            I was unprepared for it. She yanked me forward, and suddenly I was sprawled on the bed, more on Kaoru than not. Then, she was moving again, not giving me the chance to climb off before she had pushed me over. I landed on my back and blinked at the sensation of a warm body pressed against my side.

            "I let you do this last night," Kaoru murmured sleepily. She adjusted her head on my arm until she was comfortable. "It's only fair."

            "That was..." I muttered uneasily.

            She hugged her arm around my waist and sighed contentedly. What was _with_ her that day? First the towel thing and then this! That time at the spa must have gone to her head. Made a person wonder what they put in those oils.

            I echoed her sigh, relaxing a bit when I realized she would not be releasing me anytime soon--thirteen minutes from that moment to be more exact.

            "Kenshin?" she asked after awhile. "Who'd you see last night?"

            _Who'd I see last night?_ I had to think about that one for a minute before I remembered what had happened the previous evening.

            "A girl from high school," I told her again. "Her brother and his friends squirted me with a hose when I ran past their house."

            Kaoru giggled.

            "Poor baby."

            "A-ha," I grumbled. "Yes, very funny."

            "Did you know the girl very well?" Kaoru pressed. "Old girlfriend or anything?"

            "Jenny?" I asked, startled that anyone would think that. Granted, Kaoru had not known me during my high school years, so how could she possible know? "No. She was in a few of my classes. I would not have looked at her twice if she had not recognized me."

            "Oh... Okay." Kaoru shifted then, stretching so that I had to squirm away or risk being hit by her knees as she jerked back into a more normal position. She sat up and smiled down at me. "Let's go."

^_^

            Kaoru could not tolerate the smell either, despite the fact that it had decreased considerably since I had disposed of that air freshener. This made for another dilemma. The previous night had been a little different. It had been late, I had been half sick, and both of us had been too tired to really protest the course of action. But this... this was different. For the second time, I proposed asking for another room.

            "None of the other rooms have two beds," Kaoru countered. "And they'll charge us if we take both rooms."

            I could not afford that. Damn it. I eyed the hard floor doubtfully. Kaoru would never tolerate me trying to sleep on that. Not to mention it looked really uncomfortable. But not much more uncomfortable than sharing a bed with Kaoru. I did not know if I would be able to get any sleep like that.

            "Kenshin, it's just one more night," Kaoru said softly, and I looked at her uneasily. "I'm fine with it... if you are."

            How did a person respond to that? If I had been mad, I would have snapped back that it _did_ make me uncomfortable and _no_, I was not fine with it. But I was not mad, and Kaoru was being nice about it, and... damn it all.

            "I..." I couldn't get the words out. I stared at my hands, uncomfortably aware of the girl sitting on the bed next to me. It was not like I had never sat next to her before, but all this talk about sharing beds and sleeping together... it was enough to make a guy go red in the cheeks and stutter an excuse. I had skipped the stuttering stage and jumped straight to being struck dumb.

            "Are you still embarrassed about last night?" Kaoru asked, her hand on my shoulder. That embarrassment had passed, actually, but I mentally thanked her for bringing it back to my attention. "Kenshin, it's okay. We're not doing anything. Just pretend I'm one of the guys. You wouldn't mind then, would you?"

            Honestly? Yes. In fact, I would rather share a bed with an elderly woman than another guy. I'd had enough experiences with men and _that_ particular subject. I closed my eyes, memories of Jonas--glaring at me and spitting '_bitch!_' into my face--hovering far too close to the front for comfort. I really hated that man. But at least he had not really tried anything like that. I would have had to kill him. And then where would I be? Certainly not in a Stillwater Bed and Breakfast.

            "I'm going for a run," I said abruptly. Kaoru stared at me, startled when I stood. I glanced at the clock. It was only eight. Some stores would be open still, so it was not really that late. "I'll be back in a bit and..." I pulled on my jacket, not even bothering to change into more comfortable running clothes. "If you want to go to sleep, I'll try to be quiet when I come back in."

            She did not say anything. She just watched me as I opened the door and stepped into the hall. I glanced at her. That concerned stare bothered me, and I closed the door.

^_^

            I went a little farther than the night before. This time, though, it was dark out, and the air was cooling quickly. I did not see any picnics or people walking outside. This time would have been a better time for me to have that cell phone along. But I did not have it, so I would just have to be cautious.

            Running was one of the few things that helped when I was feeling down. There was something about my feet hitting the ground, moving too fast to really feel the pounding force of my shoes against the concrete sidewalk. The wind messed my hair, hitting my face, making my eyes water. My mind went blank, aware of nothing but the physical obstacles around me. Nothing could touch me.

            It took awhile to get back. I had to wander a bit to locate a familiar street, and from there I found my way back to the Bed and Breakfast. In all, nearly two hours passed before I let myself into the big house and up the stairs to the room I shared with Kaoru.

            I was thoroughly exhausted as I locked the door and walked into the bathroom. The rest of the room was dark, so I shut the bathroom door before turning on the lights. It hurt my eyes, doing it that way, but I did not want to wake Kaoru. She was probably mad at me, so all the more reason to push off any resulting argument until morning. Two tired people had a tendency to make things bigger than they really were.

            Kaoru probably would not appreciate a sweaty guy in the bed, so I took a quick shower before changing into my nightclothes. Toweling down my hair, I decided against pulling it back. It would still be wet in the morning if I did that, so I just combed it out and let it drip all over my shirt. Clean water was better than sweat, I supposed.

            Kaoru must have been fairly deep into sleep. She did not react when I cautiously slid under the covers in the empty spot next to her. Well... that, or she was mad at me and not talking to me. It was just as well. I was uneasy as it was without the two of us laying awake in bed, uncertain what to do or say. That way, I was the only one awake, uncertain what to do.

            It was after midnight by the time I finally fell asleep. I was grateful to finally escape my thoughts. But, of course, it could not be a restful night. Really, that would just have been too easy. Why _would_ I sleep peacefully through the night?

^_^

            _Dark eyes... bleached hair... a knowing smile._

_            "Go ahead... It'll make you feel better..."_

_            The world is spinning. Out of control. Nothing works right anymore._

_            A cold, smooth face._

_            "And just how does that make you feel, Kenshin?"_

_            What the hell do you care? You get paid whether or not anything is accomplished here. I'm so tired. Tired of you, tired of school, of my uncle, the counselors... I'm tired of this place. Can't I leave?_

_            "It'll help."_

_            It didn't help. Go away. I never wanted anything to do with you. How did you force me to be so dependent on you?_

_            "Don't you want to make something of yourself? Why are you doing this to yourself?"_

_            Fuck you. Nobody asked you._

_            "Bitch."_

_            Shut up._

_            "Faggot."_

_            I'm not. Don't use that word around me. I hate that word. No one should ever have to hear that word._

_            "It'll be fun."_

_            Don't touch me._

_            "Come on..."_

_            Don't TOUCH me! Stay away from me what is wrong with you let GO!_

_            "How convenient that you run in here."_

_            The world is spinning again. What happened to my control?! Why didn't it help? You said it would help but this is worse. This is worse... Don't... please..._

            A hand gripped my arm, another pressing against my chest. I shuddered, jerking back against it. Darkly laughing eyes loomed in my vision, just beyond the pitch darkness of the room. My throat closed up, choking me, and I threw myself back, desperate to get away.

            Booming, deep, distorted, someone called my name. How did he know my name?!

            A hand was in my shirt, yanking me back onto the bed. A sob made its way past my lips, and I bit my lip against another. I shoved against those restraining hands, blurting out broken sentences. Protests, mostly. A few mild, unfinished threats. Nothing I could carry out against him.

            Then, a lot of movement. I couldn't see. The dark room and the panic had blinded me. I gasped as I was jerked back, off the bed. We collided, stumbling, falling, staggering. I grabbed for the nearest object to keep from hitting the floor, my fingers finding cloth and clenching down on it.

            We stopped. I stared forward, wide-eyed and gasping. Hot breath in my ear made me jerk my head to the side, even as I registered the gentle, too-high voice.

            "Shhhh, Kenshin. It's me... It's just me... Shh... calm down..."

            Kaoru. It was Kaoru. I was in our rented room. Not with some strange man. Not in a smoky house. It had been a dream, and it was over.

            I had never been so relieved.

            I moaned softly, leaning into her further, my weight too much for me to handle. I felt sick, cold and hot and shaky. 

            "Kenshin..." Kaoru's voice was soothing, calming the frantic beat of my heart, and I turned my face into her shoulder. "Talk to me."

            I couldn't. It was humiliating, the images hovering too close to the surface to press past them yet. I had a death grip on the front of Kaoru's shirt, and I hoped she did not want it back yet because I was not going to let go for quite awhile. Even as this little rational part of me said she might not appreciate that particular position, my hands were frozen and not listening to reason. My chest hurt, and for a minute I really thought I would throw up. Kaoru would have loved that.

            That thought made me laugh, and it was not a pretty sound. I swallowed it back quickly. I was _not_ going to fly into hysterics over a stupid dream. Kaoru thought otherwise, apparently, because her arms tightened around me. She was murmuring some nonsense again, running her fingers through my hair.

            We stood there for a long time. Kaoru managed to hold most of my weight that entire time, which was impressive. Even Sano did not like carrying that kind of weight for very long. I couldn't stop shaking, but I did get my breathing under control--mostly--and my heart stopped pounding quite so hard. My chest still felt like someone was squeezing it, which did not help things. At least I did not start crying. As if it was not embarrassing enough without it.

            "Good..." Kaoru said finally. "Are you okay?"

            I had to think about that for a minute. Mostly. The dream was fading.

            "Yeah..." it was almost a whisper. I tried to make my voice louder... stronger. "Y-yes." No, that was not good enough. I said it again, "Yes," and took a breath and opened my eyes. It was almost too dark to see the outline of her shoulder. No wonder I had not been able to tell who else had been in the room right away. But that did not really excuse how I had acted. "I'm sorry."

            "Don't," she countered quietly. "Don't apologize for this."

            "Okay..." I tried to put more weight on my legs, grateful when I did not collapse back again. "Sorry."

            She sighed, her hand clenching in my hair briefly. My wince made her stop that pretty quickly.

            "Nevermind," she said. "Will you be okay if we go back to the bed?"

            No. Nonono. But... it was just Kaoru. And she was fine. She was safe. And there was really nowhere else to go, and we could not stand there all night.

            "Sure," I cautiously released her shirt, impulsively moving to smooth over that mess of dimples and wrinkles, then thinking better of it and letting my hands drop. I did not feel right, letting them hang at my sides, so I lifted them again and hugged them over my chest. Standing was not so hard. I could hold my weight well enough, but Kaoru did not let me go right away.

            "Come on," she turned, pulling me over to the bed we had so suddenly vacated. She let go of me long enough to climb onto it, then turned and caught my arms, tugging at me to get me to follow. It was daunting, climbing back into that bed, but I did it. Kaoru was going all cuddly on me, trying to hug me again. It seemed to make her feel better, even if I was a little leery. With a slightly protesting groan, I let her adjust until my head was on her shoulder, and we both rested on our backs, staring blindly up at the dark ceiling.

            "You should have said something," she said. "We could have made other sleeping arrangements."

            That comment made me wince inwardly. How much had she figured out?

            _Enough_, some portion of my brain informed me. _Why else would she have dragged me off the bed like that?_

            The humiliation of the moment doubled. I sat up.

            "Kenshin?" The bed shifted as Kaoru followed my example, sitting up beside me. God, I wanted her to go away. I didn't want her to know this. I didn't want _anyone_ to know about it. Of all people... why her? Why did it have to be Kaoru?

            I leaned against my bent legs, wrapping my arms over my head. It was not a very good method of hiding, but other than fleeing and locking myself in the bathroom, there was not much else I could do.

            "Kenshin..." her hands touched my shoulders. My fingers clenched in my hair--damp and sweaty yet again. It hurt, but I didn't care. "Kenshin, talk to me."

            "What the hell do you want me to say?!" I hissed. I hated being on the defensive. It made a person so vulnerable. How had Kaoru gotten to know so many of my secrets? Just over six months ago, she had known nothing, and I had been content to keep it that way. A few bad, sporadic moments, and suddenly she knew more than any psychiatrist had ever gotten out of me.

            "You could start by telling me what happened," she replied. She sounded so calm. I wished I could sound like that, but it did not turn out that way.

            "You've already figured it out," I growled. "Some guy attacked me."

            "Did he--"

            "No." An icicle worked it's way up my spine, making me shudder. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, hating myself. How had I ever let that happen? "I panicked and hit him with something."

            "Something..." she echoed faintly.

            "A lamp or something," I wished she would just leave me alone. I hated explaining this. I hated thinking about it. "I don't know. I was not all there at the time, it was dark, I was on a goddamned _bed_ with some asshole, and I didn't care _what_ it was as long as it got him off me."

            There. She knew. It did not make me happy, but she knew.

            She didn't say anything. I had not been very nice about it, and she usually got quiet when I snapped at her. But then again... maybe she just did not know what to say. I sure as hell would not have a clue how to react to that.

            She hugged me. Leaning against my back, she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me.

            "It's not your fault."

            People always said that in situations like this. Why? It didn't matter. Even if it did, she was wrong.

            "If I had not let Enishi talk me into all he did..." I mumbled. "It was my own stupidity."

            "No!" she shook me suddenly, and I tensed to resist it. "Kenshin, it was _not_ your fault."

            She kept saying that.

            "I shouldn't have--"

            "_No!_" she wouldn't let me finish. "Did you tell him he could do that?"

            "No..." Of course not. He did that all on his own, despite my protests.

            "Were you of sound mind when he tried to take advantage of you?" she asked.

            "Not really..." I had been drunk. Or high. Or both.

            "Then it was not your fault," she said again. "The only fault lies in whoever tried to force you to do something against your express will."

            No... she was wrong. If I had not been in that house... if I had refused the first time Enishi had offered me that joint... If...

            Kaoru was shaking. My own shuddering had stopped, or I might not have noticed. There was something wrong. That was not normal. But what was I supposed to do?

            "...Kaoru?"

            She gasped, and suddenly I could hear her breathing, ragged and noisy. She was crying.

            "Kaoru?" I untangled my fingers from my hair quickly, lifting my head a bit so I could look back at her. She hugged me more tightly, and I bit my lip. I would have to shove her away if I was going to see her. "Kaoru... what--?"

            "It's not _fair!_" she said sharply. She was making an awful whimpering sound that made me want to cringe.

            "What's not--"

            "_Why_ would anyone do that?!" she demanded. "No one deserves that. God, no _wonder_ you're such an antisocial jerk!"

            Excuse me? How could she express such sympathy for someone, and then insult that same person in the same breath?

            "Well," I huffed quietly. "Thanks."

            "Don't!" Her hand came up abruptly, smacking into my face so that I had to duck and close my eyes or risk losing one to her fingers. "Just... don't! Stop belittling yourself."

            "You're the one who just called me an antisocial jerk," I grumbled. _Please stop crying_, I silently added.

            "And you are!" The waterworks continued. "Because you've gotten nothing but grief from everything around you. You don't trust anyone! You can't!"

            Of course I didn't trust people. If I did, they just... they would just try to...

            I shoved the idea away. Kaoru was wrong. She had to be wrong. I was not some angry kid, bitter because the world had not treated me with the utmost kindness. I got along with people. I had friends. I interacted with the world as well as was possible for someone who could not...

            Damn it. Damn it all anyway.

            "I'm not a cripple," I told that weepy girl behind me. She didn't reply, so I twisted away, turning to look at her. She sat there, looking small and miserable, sobbing quietly. "Stop crying."

            "I can't help it!" she retorted.

            "I don't hate the whole world."

            She shook her head, tears still rolling down her cheeks. It was getting lighter out, and I could see it. I had to prove to her that she was wrong, but I didn't know what else to say. Just because I had a hard time trusting people did not mean I was not willing to do it eventually. Surely she saw that.

            "I don't hate you," I said, startling myself with those words. Kaoru stopped crying, too. I thought about it for a minute, then bit my lip and looked back to her. She had to believe me. "I trust you." And I did. If I had not, I never would have explained the things I had to her.

            Kaoru sniffed. At least she was not sobbing anymore.

            "I trust you," I said again. What if she _didn't_ believe me? Then what? Then... then there was nothing. Just a ruined trip and a strained friendship.

            She sniffed again, then asked in a small voice, "Really?"

            Yeah... Yeah, really. Wow. That was just deep and bizarre and too much for five-thirty in the morning.

            "Yeah," I said finally. She looked up, and I managed a smile for her. "Kind of crazy, isn't it?"

            She shook her head and wiped at her eyes. Thank god. Crying girls... and she had been crying because of me. I didn't want that.

            She lunged at me suddenly, and I yelped as we fell back on the bed, inches from falling off. Her arms were tight around my neck, and I wheezed a bit from the impact.

            "Ow..."

            "You promise?" she asked.

            "Yes, I promise," I groaned. She was kind of heavy for her size. Probably all that muscle from working out. And all that muscle was on top of me. "I think we're going to fall."

            She pulled back quickly, and I choked as she dragged me with her. We ended up back by the pillows, our positions flipped. Apparently, she did not mind my weight so much. Or maybe I was just a wimp. I had not complained... exactly.

            It was a little strange, laying like that, but it was not so intimidating as before. I did not understand why it should be different, but it was. Kaoru had her hands in my hair, which felt kind of nice, and I could hear her heartbeat. That was such a soothing sound. I had not heard that since Tomoe was alive, and only before I had gotten to the age where it felt too wrong. Odd how those little things struck a person.

            "No more secrets?" Kaoru requested. I did not have anymore secrets. She knew the worst of them.

            "Okay," I agreed, then paused to contemplate that. "Why am I the only one with skeletons?"

            "We've gotten a few of them out of the closet," she replied, giggling softly. That felt weird.

            "Gay jokes are not appreciated," I muttered.

            "Oop. Sorry," she sounded sheepish. "I know you hate that."

            "Don't you have anything to say?" I pressed. "Surely I'm not the only one around here with some deep dark secret."

            "Not really. I guess... well, Dad isn't my biological father," she offered. "But that's hardly a big secret."

            "I didn't know that," I countered.

            "Oh? Huh." Maybe it had never occurred to her. "Well, Dad's um... ooooh, I don't know if he'd like me telling you this."

            "I won't tell," I promised. She giggled again.

            "He's sterile," she stated. I blinked.

            "...Oh." Poor guy.

            "But they wanted kids really bad, and Mom wanted to have the baby." Her fingers were twisting in my hair. It was kind of distracting, and I had to focus past it to hear the rest. "So they went to a bank. In Vitro."

            I brooded on that for a minute. Actually, I concentrated more on her hands fiddling with my hair, but the reason did not matter. I was quiet for awhile.

            "You've led a charmed life," I decided.

            "And I've loved every minute of it," she replied.

            "Hn." I sighed and closed my eyes. It was still too early to get up. The night had been stressful, and I could think of no good reason to move. Kaoru did not protest either, and she _had_ been the one to pull us into that position.

            It was ironic, really. Six months ago, I would have ridiculed the very idea that I would ever be this close to Kaoru. She had been the girl who annoyed the hell out of me, the one who intimidated me to the point that I would have done about anything to keep her away. But this very night, I had been terrified that she would leave me all alone.

^_^

            We slept through breakfast. Kaoru went down to apologize to the host and hostess while I showered for the fourth time in two days. After that, we packed our bags and put them in the trunk of her car. Kaoru signed off the bill for the room, and I made a note of the price so I could write her a check for the difference later.

            We were getting ready to leave for home when I remembered something.

            "Can we stop in town before we leave?" I asked, startling Kaoru with my request. I smiled at her when she looked at me in question. "I promised Jenny--"

            "Who's Jenny?" she interrupted.

            "That girl whose brother hit me with a hose," I clarified. "Anyway, I promised I'd stop and say good-bye before we left."

            "That's nice of you," Kaoru said mildly, then smiled and put the car into gear. "Where are we going?"

^_^

            A little bell jangled when I walked into the flower shop. I looked around cautiously, feeling a bit out of place in such a store. Kaoru was off parking the car, so I could not even walk in with someone more suited to the place.

            "Kenshin!"

            Jenny spotted me almost immediately, much to my relief. I smiled and walked over to the counter where she sat on a stool beside a cash register. I was surprised that she would be working in her condition--if I could call being pregnant a 'condition.'

            "I'm surprised you came," she said, holding out her hand to me. I took it uncertainly, trying not to frown when she squeezed my fingers lightly and let our hands sit on the counter. That felt a little strange, considering I barely knew her. "I'm glad you did."

            "I promised," I muttered, glancing toward the door. Kaoru would be there soon.

            "Going home?" Jenny wondered. I looked back to her.

            "Yeah," I nodded. "We only rented the room for two nights."

            "That's too bad," she sighed. "I would have loved to invite you and your _friend_ over for dinner."

            "Another time, maybe," I said carelessly.

            "Let me give you my email," she pulled her hand away and searched around for a piece of paper. Ripping it in half, she scrawled down an email address and handed it to me. I put it in my pocket and obligingly wrote down my own email on that second scrap of paper. "Good. Now I can keep tabs on the best-looking guy I know."

            "Don't let your husband hear that," I said, flushing a bit at the compliment. To be truthful, I did not need some jealous man glaring at me if ever I saw him.

            "Ah, Miroku wouldn't care," she laughed. "He'd agree with me."

            I laughed uneasily. Right.

            "Oh, I almost forgot," she winked at me and leaned down to pick something up. I winced, hoping she did not topple off that stool. She looked horribly overbalanced. But she did not seem to have any difficulty, and she produced a large, brown paper sack. It was folded over so I could tell it was a bouquet of some sort. I peeked inside and studied the lilies she had prepared.

            "They're very pretty," I told her. "Thank you."

            "But you have to leave now, right?" she predicted.

            "Yes."

            "Oh well," she sighed, then smiled. "May I kiss you?"

            "Excuse me?" _That_ was forward.

            "I'm sorry," she laughed. "I just always wondered what it would be like. Do you mind?"

            I stared at her for a minute.

            "Actually... yes," I glanced down at the flowers in my hands, the heat rising in my face. I was willing to bet that she thought this was funny. "Yes, I mind."

            "Oh," she sighed again. "Well, it was worth a try. A peck on the cheek?"

            I bit back a scathing retort and settled for glaring at her.

            "No."

            "Forehead?" she tried again.

            "Jenny!" I frowned unhappily. "I'll dump these flowers back on you."

            "It's not like you're getting those for free," she said, lifting an eyebrow at me.

            I sighed impatiently and held them out for her to take. She laughed and pushed them back at me.

            "I'm kidding, Kenshin," she assured me. "Take care of yourself, okay? I really do expect responses when I email you."

            "You should try leaving better impressions on a person," I grumbled. I shook my head and smirked at her. "Good-bye, Jenny."

            "Until we meet again," she said dramatically. I turned to leave. My hand was on the door when she called out again. "Oh! Kenshin?"

            I paused, opening the door for Kaoru when she walked up.

            "Yeah?"

            "I've got to know," she was talking loud enough for the other customers in the store to hear. That was not necessarily a good sign. I hoped she did not try to embarrass me again, but I should have known better. "How much truth was there to the rumors at school? Do you chase other men?"

            I counted to ten, closing my eyes against my irritation.

            "No. Good-bye, Jenny."

            "Bye, Kenshin!"

            I shook my head and followed Kaoru out of the store. She laughed at my red face and pointed out where she had parked. I put the flowers in the back seat, climbed into the passenger side, and we headed home.

^_^

End Notes: Okay, lots of notes here, so bear with me. If you don't want to read them, that's fine. There's some omake a little lower and the reader response past that.

1. Edina—this is considered to be one of the more affluent suburbs in the Twin Cities area. Not everyone who lives there is rich, but the stereotype is that you're a snob if you live in Edina.

2. The nail polish—yes, this had significance. I'm sure everyone caught the analogy, odd as it was.

3. The little cushioned table—a massage table. These things are usually heated (thus the lady fiddling with it) and are rather odd and uncomfortable looking. *longs for a massage*

4. The dream—okay, a _lot_ of random people and images, although not described. I don't think it's too hard to follow if you think about it a little. People present in the dream (other than Kenshin): Enishi, Tomoe, a psychologist, a counselor, Jonas, and the unknown assaulter.

5. "I'm not a cripple"—no, I don't mean like a quadriplegic. We're talking emotionally. This far in the story, Kenshin has proven himself mostly socially inept, and this is what he's talking about.

6. In Vitro—IVF a.k.a. In Vitro Fertilization. We know what this is, right? Artificial insemination. And the bank, being a sperm bank.

7. Finally, I realize I did not give this section much of a conclusion. No 'good-bye, Kaoru. I had a really good time' scene. No big kiss (sorry to all you K/K shippers). I left it wide open. Anything can happen now. Things can float away on a big pink cloud, or they could spiral down into a black hell. It's intended to be that way. Just gets you wondering, doesn't it?

Whew. Notes are done. And now… the awaited:

**Random Omake**

**Kenshin & Kaoru**: *sitting in the waiting lounge at the day spa, directly following Kaoru's 'rugged male specimen' comment*

**Tour guide followed by tourists**: *gestures to the pair* And to your left, we have a pretty young woman and an interesting _femme man._

**Tourists**: *flashing cameras* Wow! Look at that!

**Tour guide**: Follow me. And to your right, you can see an overweight aristocrat having a facial massage.

**Tourists**: *More flashing cameras* Coooool! Ewwww.

**Kenshin**: I'm confused… and insulted.

**Kaoru**: They think I'm pretty? *giggling*

**Random Omake**: Take two

**Kenshin**: *narrating* I grabbed for the nearest object to keep from hitting the floor, my fingers finding cloth and clenching down on it.

**Kaoru**: *yelps and shoves distraught Kenshin away*

**Kenshin**: *falls on his butt on the floor* _Gah_!__

**Kaoru**: Watch what you're grabbing, pervert!

**Kenshin**: *blush* Sorry.

**Random Omake**: Take three

**Kenshin**: *narrating* We stood there for a long time… Um… Kaoru.

**Kaoru**: *contented murmur* Humm?

**Kenshin**: Could you take your hand off my butt, please?

**Kaoru**: *blush* Whoops.

**Random Omake**: Take four?! Wow. Lots of these today.

**Kenshin**: *stepping away from Kaoru after bout of hysterics*

**Kaoru**: Come on. *pulls Kenshin back to bed*  
**Kenshin**: *still staring at Kaoru's wrinkled shirt* I can iron that out for you, Kaoru.

**Kaoru**: *sweatdrop*

To the Reviewers: Here I am, back to responding to everyone. Hope you guys like that. I know I do.

**Hana**** Himura: That's our Kenshin. Moodier than usual here, but still hopeless when it comes to relationships. And Miroku loves having a fan.**

Miroku: You seem a nice girl. Would you like to bear my child?

Goodness. He's never satisfied.

**Fuuko****-san: Pervert? Yes. But I like him! ^_~ And I'm sorry if you thought I'd turn this into a big 'Kenshin and Kaoru fall in love' chapter, but give me time. I'm slower than Kenshin when it comes to these things.**

**Calger459**: *snicker* Actually, I just get sick when I smell vanilla. The one I encountered was freesia or something. Not stomach-turning, but strong to the point where I couldn't sleep with it there.

**Gypsy-chan**: Hands _in_ another man's hair? Nah. Just _on it a little. I made her about as forward as a person can get. (I figure she has to be to handle Miroku.) And I'm glad I could clear things up for you. Granted, you should expect to see a little romance in the near future, but I'm not sure how much yet._

**C-Chan & Eko**: Eko! You came back! *feels special* Thanks for the review. *Hands C-Chan a tissue and some chicken soup* I'd give you chicken noodle, but I hate the noodles. Hope you feel better.

**nekonomiko: *sigh* Ahhh, the K/K shippers. Granted, I generally prefer that coupling but why does everyone like her so much? I don't get it. Maybe I'm too cynical. Oh well. *Whispering* This is a canon coupling fic. Hint enough? ^_~**

**Akai Kitsune**: *sigh* Alas, no. No She-Ra. And cleaning rooms? The horror. Actually, a lot of those people just put those stupid fresheners in because they think it makes the place smell pretty. And Stillwater can be nice. There's a lake that's nice in the summer… Not _that ugly? *cuddles gorilla* You hear that? That person thinks you're kind of ugly!_

Gorilla: I was going for hideous, but what can you do? I'm a natural charmer.

*snicker*

**Chiki**: *blink* _I'm_ the wicked one? Get your head out of the gutter! ^_~ Their relationship is taking a long time, I realize, but that's because I don't know how to make it go faster and still be believable with how I've made Kenshin.

Kenshin: *sigh* Fitz modeled me after a certain emotionally stunted author who has a fear of commitment.

Fitz: I have _no idea what you're talking about._

**marstanuki: Is it cute?**

**Gochan**: Ahhhh, highway games. Memories of torturing my parents by making them play for hours on end during trips to Iowa. (And do you realize how few signs there are in Iowa? Liquor stores, Dairy Queens, license plates, and road signs announcing 'Dubuque' were the only ways to find 'q.') Now the count is 2 to 4. Gee, Kenshin. Better get cracking. You're supposed to be the hero here.

**omochi: Kenshin: *blush* I'm bringing the gorilla next time! I swear.**

Kaoru: Hey! I thought you _liked it when I hugged you the last time!_

Kenshin: *hides* Orooooo! Help!

Fitz: *snicker*


	21. Dates and dares

**Disclaimer**: Question: Does anyone even look at these? So if I were to say, "I do not own anything related to Rurouni Kenshin, nor am I making any money off this story," does anyone really _care? I mean, what are the _chances_, if I were to forget to write that, someone would pick out __this chapter of _this story_ and say, "Hey! There's no disclaimer!" And even if they did, what would they do? Tell me to put up a disclaimer or remove the fic? *flees accusing glares of disclaimer enforcers* Look! *points up* It's up there!_

**Notes**: *weak wave* Hi all. Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out. I had every intention of getting this up last week. Unfortunately, I got sick and have been unable to do much of anything until very recently. I hope to update a little more frequently, now that I'm feeling better.

**Warnings**: None to speak of. Harsh words at a point. Easy Mac and _Antique Road Show_.

Onward!!

My Life

            I stayed in the dorm the rest of the week. I had a lot of homework to finish, and it was more comfortable than hanging around at Uncle Hiko's place. Fortunately, I was not alone those three days. Sano and Megumi were back from visiting his father. Megumi had a lot to do as well, so I got stuck with a bored Sano.

            "You weren't due back until tomorrow," was the first thing he said when he discovered my presence on the floor. It had been a random meeting. I had not known he was there either, but when I went to use the floor's microwave, I saw him in the TV lounge, watching _Antique Road Show_. He must have really been bored to sit in front of that.

            "Plans fell through," I shrugged, continuing to the small kitchen across the hall.

            "How does a flight to California fall through?" he retorted. He heaved himself up out of the chair and followed me. "They let you reschedule cancelled flights for free."

            "I had a problem here," I said mildly. As much as I would have liked to share the details with Sano (yeah, right), Kamatari deserved some discretion. Sano was pretty good at keeping secrets, but I did not want to explain what had happened. I could picture it, me stuttering out 'yeah, and he kissed me, and... well what the hell was I supposed to do?' There were so many things wrong with the scenario that I had to push the entire thing away. "We missed our flight."

            "_Damn_," Sano groaned. "What a waste! You been here the whole time? Why didn't you call me?"

            "I wasn't alone," I pushed the bowl of Easy Mac into the microwave and set the timer--longer than the recommended because it was such a crappy piece of machinery. "And we made other plans. Kaoru and I went to Stillwater for a couple days."

            "What's in Stillwater?" he blinked at me.

            "A lot of antique shops," I smirked, and he rolled his eyes.

            "That sounds _so_ much better than San Francisco," he grumbled.

            "We had a nice enough time," I shrugged. "You? How was your vacation?"

            He grinned.

            "Dad loves her," he declared. "And the brat liked her cooking."

            "That makes any woman perfect," I murmured, trying not to smile as I said that. I recalled Kaoru's disastrous attempts at preparing a meal. She couldn't even make a frozen pizza.

            "According to a kid ruled by his stomach," Sano laughed. He leaned back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest comfortably. His laughter changed to something a little more serious but still smiling. "It's all going perfectly, Kenshin. Who would have thought a guy like me could find a girl like her?"

            "I never would have predicted it," I replied, earning myself a punch in the shoulder. "Ow!"

            "Asshole!" But he was grinning. "And look at you, Mr. Unsociable himself. When are you going to find a girl?"

            If he tried to set me up on another blind date--

            "Even _Aoshi_ has a girlfriend," Sano pointed out.

            "They're still going out?" I wondered. An obvious diversion, but if it worked...

            "Last I heard--"

            The microwave beeped loudly, cutting him off. I cautiously pulled out my food and stirred it. I added the little cheese packet, stirred again, and tossed the empty packet into the trash can.

            "Maybe we could put out an ad," Sano said.

            I ate a bite of my Easy Mac, holding the bowl in my hand and turning to frown at Sano. Was it so important to be in a relationship? What was wrong with how things were? He grinned and laughed weakly.

            "A suggestion," he muttered.

            I shook my head and walked out into the social lounge. Sano followed me again, sitting next to me when I went to the only table in the room. I was going to have to hurt him if he kept pressing this.

            "What do you say we rent something and crash in my room?" he offered. "We haven't done that in awhile."

            That surprised me. As a matter of fact, I had _not_ spent much time with Sano lately. Kaoru, Kamatari, plenty of dates with homework... but not my best friend. I was surprised to admit that I really missed it.

            "That sounds good."

^_^

            We watched _Jurassic Park_. Decent enough movie if you went for that. I brought a pillow, a blanket, and my gorilla, much to Sano's amusement.

            "I totally forgot about that thing!" he laughed when I propped my pillow against the arm of the little sofa in his room and settled down on the cushions. I ignored him and hugged the stuffed animal to my side. He was still chuckling after he pushed the video in and sat down next to me. Reaching over, he clapped his hand against the back of my head lightly, ruffling my hair. "You're a goof."

            "Good to know," I sighed. "What movie is this?"

            "_Jurassic Park_."

            Conversation stopped at that. We watched the film in silence but for the random commentary that is necessary throughout a movie, according to Sanosuke Sagara. He could not keep his mouth shut for an hour and a half.

^_^

            Late that night, we laid in the darkness, talking about nothing. He was on the floor, sprawled out on his back. I stayed on the couch and stared up at the dim little dots of light over the ceiling. His roommate had put those up there--glow-in-the-dark stars--god only knew why. His roommate had also dropped out of college in the middle of February. He never took those stickers with him, and Sano would be stuck with the pleasure of picking them off the ceiling when the time came to give up the room at the end of the semester.

            "You think I'm doing the right thing?" Sano asked at one point. "Marrying Megumi, I mean."

            I glanced to the side, not that I could see him in the dark room.

            "You love her?" I asked.

            "More than anything."

            "Then why are you worrying?" The moron. "You met a girl with brains, money, looks, who loves you, and you love her back... Sano, don't even start to have doubts now. You'll regret it. She's perfect."

            "Watch it," Sano growled.

            "For you, idiot," I retorted. "For you. I wouldn't be caught dead going out with her. She scares the hell out of me."

            "That's confidence inspiring," Sano chuckled. He had been asking for it.

            "I do what I can."

            "Don't get mad, now," he stopped laughing. Ooohhhh, it was going back to me again. I could tell. "But why are you so against dating?"

            I sighed.

            "It's not like you couldn't get a girl," he continued. "You've got looks, attitude--which some girls go for, don't ask me _why_--you're on the B honor roll... I've seen girls look at you. You just don't look back."

            "Why are you so obsessed with getting me to date?" I complained. "I'm happy without it."

            "If you tell me you don't like girls _or_ guys--"

            "Sano!"

            "It's been known to happen!"

            I groaned, hugging that gorilla to my face to muffle the sound. To be perfectly honest, I _had_ thought about this. No, not about that I was not interested in girls. More about how I would go about asking one out. I had never done it before.

            "Fess up, Kenshin," Sano urged. I sighed again and pulled the stuffed animal away form my face.

            "How do you do it?" I wondered. "I can't talk to people like you do."

            "Sure you can," Sano snorted. "I've seen you do it. Just forget about what they'll think. If a girl says no, then who needs her? There are more women in this world than men, you know."

            "Is that so?" Interesting little thought. I blinked and decided to ask him for a little advice. I figured I was safe with that. After all, he was the one who was engaged. "I was thinking about asking Kaoru out."

            He was quiet at first. Maybe that was a bad idea.

            "You know..." he said finally, his voice so low I could barely hear him. "I've been wondering if you'd ever look at her that way."

            That was an odd thing to say.

            "What do you mean?"

            He sighed, apparently exasperated by my ignorance.

            "You don't find it much where a single guy and a single girl are _just friends_," he explained. "She's waiting for you, man."

            "She's..." What did he mean by that?! "What?"

            "Kaoru's a pretty girl, Kenshin," Sano stated easily. "Friendly, smart... _loaded_. Don't you think she's got men lined up out the door?"

            She had never said anything about that. I did not think she was dating anyone. But... how much did I really know about her? Just what she told me, what I saw when I visited her. It seemed that she was about as straightforward as a person could get.

            "But she keeps hanging around with you," Sano added. "The little twit is smitten. Damned if I can figure out why. You treat her like shit."

            "I don't!" I snapped. I had gone from pensive to pissed in a total of two seconds.

            "So prove it, _Romeo_," he drawled. "Unless you're too chickenshit to do it."

            Like he could taunt me into it. I never would have agreed if I had not been contemplating it already.

            "Fine!" I glared down at the dark shadow that was Sano on the floor. "But I don't treat her like shit."

            "Fair enough," he agreed blandly. "You used to."

            "But I don't now!" Asshole.

            "Goodnight, Kenshin."

            "Go to hell, idiot," I grumbled, leaning back against my pillow again. His answering chuckle was enough to prove he did not take me at all seriously. I sighed and rolled onto my side, facing the back of the sofa and putting my back to him.

            I didn't go to sleep right away. First, I could hear Sano moving from the floor to his bed. After that, my mind drifted to the conversation I had just shared, and I realized something kind of stupid: I had inadvertently talked Sano into daring me to ask Kaoru out on a date. It was my own fault. He never would have done that if I had not brought her into the conversation--if I had not voiced the thought.

            Well, it was only natural, right? Sano made a very good point. We had been friends for half a year, and how often do a guy and a girl become _just friends_? When one or both of them is married to someone else? When one of them is gay? Katsu had once teased me, claiming a gay man was the best friend for a woman--better than another woman. I didn't know about that, and I was not gay, so it really did not apply to me. Which made me wonder... did Kaoru ever think like that?

            "Sano?" I frowned at the sound of my own voice. Turning over, I stared in the direction I knew he had gone. I lifted my voice a little. "Sano?"

            "Nnngh... huh?" He was not sleeping, but he was close to it. Oh well.

            "Sano, do you think she even likes me in that way?" Since he chose to be the expert...

            "Mmmm... who?" he grumbled.

            "Kaoru!"

            "Kao... who?"

            "Sano!" That jerk knew full well who I was talking about, half asleep or not. He snorted.

            "Ask _her_, Kenshin," Sano grunted, sounding rather annoyed with me. Well, I guess I _had_ interrupted his sleep. However, I really needed to ask this. And Sano was my best friend. He would understand... I hoped.

            "Really, Sano..." I tried again. "I mean, she knows all this... _stuff_ about me."

            "Do I need to come over there?" Sano asked, but the threat was weak. "What the hell are you talking about?"

            "You know..." I sighed. "All that nasty shit no one else knows about. She knows. You think... maybe that'll change anything?"

            He didn't answer for awhile, and I figured he wasn't going to answer. The frustrating bastard. I never knew what he would do or say. This was one of those times when I really wanted feedback, and of course he was not going to give me any.

            I sat up, hunching over my gorilla as I considered things. Kaoru had been really nice after waking me up from that nightmare. She even held me until I fell asleep again. She seemed honest enough when she smiled at me.

            "You're talking about the drugs," Sano's quiet voice startled me. I had been certain he was asleep. "Aren't you?"

            "Among other things," I muttered. Thank god for the darkness that hid the way my face burned. Sano did not need to know _that_. He would hate me. Or worse--treat me like some breakable thing.

            "Ahhhh..." Sano moved, sitting up from the sounds of it. "Some of that stuff you don't want to tell me."

            I blinked. He sounded... _angry_ about it.

            "I didn't _intend_ to tell her," I frowned uneasily. I hoped he was not angry with me. "She just... found out."

            "I don't even know what you told her, Kenshin," Sano grunted. "How should I know if it would make her hate you?"

            I hissed in surprise, flinching a bit at his words.

            "Son of a bitch..." the words flew out of me before I could bite them back. It didn't sound like my voice at all, saying that. It was too deep, too breathy. I squeezed my eyes shut, biting down on my knuckles to keep from saying anything worse. The sharp taste of blood startled me again, and I relaxed my jaw, sucking on my fingers. I took a deep breath and pulled my hand away from my mouth. "Everyone has something about themselves they don't want anyone else to know. You have secrets you keep from me. Don't get on my case about things I don't tell you."

            "But you tell the bi--"

            "Hey!" The gorilla went flying, and I heard it swish and thud into him. Ass! I wised I'd had something harder to throw at him. "Don't even _think_ about finishing that! What the hell is _wrong_ with you?"

            "Me?! I'm not the one abandoning his friend for some girl!"

            "Ffffff..." I struggled to hold that word in, and I shoved off the couch, standing in the middle of the small, dark room. "_Hypocrite!_ What about you and Megumi?! You're off with _her_ all the time! Why the hell do you think I started spending so much time with Kamatari this year?" I immediately hated myself for bringing Kamatari into the argument. Kamatari had nothing to do with this.

            "Well, why don't you ask _him_ out, hmm?" Sano growled. "It'd be good for you. _You_ obviously can't lead a relationship."

            I would have been less shocked if he had shoved his fist into my gut. My reaction was about the same, either way. I couldn't breathe. When I opened my mouth to respond, I couldn't say anything. The sound caught in my throat, coming out strangled and pained.

            "Shit, Kenshin," Sano was on his feet. I could see his shadow, moving toward me. "I didn't mean that."

            I didn't want him touching me. His hands brushed my arm, and I pulled away, stumbling in the opposite direction. The room was not very big, though, and I hit an obstacle after three steps. It felt like a chair, heavy and wooden, and I gasped as the contact made me lose my balance.

            "Watch it!" His warning came at the same time his hands caught my arms, yanking me back again. My entire body felt like it just coiled up, ready to spring away from him. I resisted the urge because it would just send me sprawling over something else. But that did not prevent me from growling out an angry warning.

            "Let go!"

            "You were going to fall."

            "I don't care. Let go!"

            He did, and I fell back, hitting the sofa again. That big shadow shifted down, Sano crouching in front of me.

            "I'm sorry, Kenshin," he said quietly.

            "What the _fuck_ did you mean by that?" I hated using that word against this man who was supposed to be my friend, but I couldn't help it. He never should have said that. It was a direct attack, and he knew it. He _knew_ how much that bothered me.

            "I didn't mean anything, Kenshin," he said, still in that soft, conciliatory tone. "It was a stupid thing to say."

            "Why'd you say it then?" I glared--at him, at the room, at anything. My anger was fading rapidly. It just hurt. God, Kaoru was right. _This_ was why I never trusted anybody. If anyone else had said it, I would have brushed it off with annoyance. But Sano... he had known how much that would hurt.

            "I was mad," he grunted. "I knew it would make you mad, so I said it. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I wasn't thinking."

            Damn it. Damnitdamnitdamnit! My fist lashed out of its own accord, hitting his cheek painfully. It hurt me, in any rate. He was barely rocked from the blow, and I had used my left hand--the same hand whose fingers I had bitten only minutes ago. I bit my lip against the cry that threatened to escape me, muffling it a bit. Growling softly, I pushed the pain away and glared down at my lap.

            "Fine," I whispered reluctantly. "Fine, you're sorry. I forgive you. Don't say anything like that again."

            "...Okay," Sano said slowly. "Hey, Kenshin?"

            "What?" That came out a bit testy, but I was justified, right?

            "Why don't you want to tell me?" It was so subdued and quiet that I lost my hold on that resentment, and tilted my head to look at him. I had to strain my eyes to see anything, so I did not attempt to see his expression. I sighed.

            "It's just something I don't tell people, Sano," I told him. "It's embarrassing and kind of scary. I never would have told Kaoru, but I guess I was having a bad dream and..." I trailed off, remembering the moment. The fear had consumed me, making any coherent thought an impossibility. In a way, I was lucky it had been Kaoru. Had I been alone, it would have been better, but for someone to wake me... well, if it had been Sano, I could not begin to imagine what I would have done. It would not have been pretty, that's all I knew. I shook my head. "It was humiliating. I didn't know what to say to her, and I wouldn't know what to say to you. So could you let me keep this one a secret?"

            Sano sighed and agreed finally.

            "Kaoru won't reject you," he stated abruptly. I had to pause a minute to recall exactly what we had been discussing before he had made that awful comment. "If she was going to, she would have when you told her... whatever you told her."

            "You think so?" I frowned, thinking on that. It made sense. "She _was_ trying pretty hard to make me comfortable."

            "You see?" Sano sighed, rubbing his face tiredly. "Now what's all the fuss... what--?"

            I looked at him oddly, wondering why he had cut off so suddenly. His hands were still up by his face, and he sniffed a couple times.

            "That's..." he murmured. "You didn't hit me that hard."

            "I was too close," I shrugged. "What do you mean?"

            "There's blood on my cheek," he replied.

            "Oh..." Whoops.

            "So it's got to be you," Sano grumbled. "Idiot yourself. Hold on, I'll get a Kleenex."

            He flicked on his closet light, and came back with the promised tissue. I wrapped it around the fingers I had unintentionally injured and studied Sano cautiously. Something was really bothering him.

            "What's wrong?" I asked, settling on the direct approach.

            He lifted his eyebrows and looked at me, then sighed and flopped back on the sofa next to me. He stretched his arms out, draping them over the back cushion. His arms were nearly long enough to span the entire sofa like that.

            "I never thought it would bother me," he admitted finally. "I mean, everybody's got to live their own life, right?"

            "Sure," I agreed, as if I actually knew what he was talking about. I figured he would tell me soon enough, so I didn't ask.

            "But look at us," he sighed loudly. "Katsu's off in Italy, I'm getting married next year, you're running full speed into god knows what kind of life, and we're losing everything we got here."

            Oh. I had no idea what to say. If Kaoru had been there, or Megumi or even Kamatari... they would have had some sort of good response. But they were not there, and so it was left up to me to say something deep and inspirational. Yeah, I could have told that to my mind, which was busy sipping lemonade under the sun in the Bahamas.

            "I don't know, Sano," I swallowed and fiddled with my tee shirt. I drew a great big blank--utterly useless. "We don't have to let that happen."

            "You think _you're_ going to make the effort to keep in touch?" Sano grumbled. "I mean... I thought Katsu would, but I don't even know where he's staying."

            Ouch. I had to agree with him on Katsu's account, though. I would have thought that guy would write or something. Email. That was quick and easy. And I suppose I had not given anyone any reason to believe I would ever write or call once we left.

            "Um..." Not exactly the most intelligent response.

            "Hey, forget it," Sano grunted. His arm hooked around my neck, and I choked as he dragged me against his side. His knuckle came down on my head and rubbed against my skull unpleasantly. I yelped and squirmed in complaint.

            "Ow!" It hurt! I hated it when people did that. "Stop it!"

            He stopped after a few seconds, releasing me and shifting suddenly so his legs were flung over my lap, and he was laying with his head on my pillow.

            "Sano!" I shoved at his legs without much luck. "Sano, I'm tired too!"

            "You're the one who woke me up," Sano sighed, sounding perfectly content.

            "The lights are still on," I pointed out hopefully.

            "So?" I clenched my teeth in frustration.

            "Get off!"

            "Why? I'm comfortable," he chuckled.

            "_I'm_ not!"

            "That's hardly my problem."

            "_Sano!_"

^_^

            It was snowing. Again. My intention had been to go for a run that morning, but there was no way I was going out in _that_. It was just as well. Sano wanted some company, and I still had homework to finish before Monday.

            We sat in the TV lounge, some Jerry Springer rerun going in the background. I ignored it, too busy reading through some research material for my writing class and talking to Sano. His feet were up on the back of my chair, his hands behind his head, that cocky smirk on his face.

            "Over the phone or in person?" I asked. I dug around for my highlighter and discovered it was not where it should be. Sighing impatiently, I climbed off the chair to look for it.

            "That depends on what kind of  result you're looking for," Sano smirked, and I glanced at him.

            "What do you mean?"

            "You want to get laid?"

            Of all the--! I found myself momentarily speechless, shocked that he would suggest that.

            "_Sanosuke!_" I finally settled for glaring at him. "Of course not! I-I-I--" I needed to shut up if I could not spit that out. I spotted my highlighter on the floor under my chair. Huffing in irritation, I snatched it up and dropped it onto my book. "You know me better than that."

            "Now _this_ sounds like an intriguing conversation!"

            We looked up to see Chou, leaning against the glass partition between the TV and social lounges. He was grinning broadly, apparently amused by the conversation.

            "You shouldn't ask the kid questions like that, chicken," Chou continued. Sano twitched beside me, probably reacting to the 'chicken' comment. It was his twist on Kamatari's nickname, and Sano hated it. I did not blame him, although I no more appreciated being called 'kid.' "We all know he's commitment shy."

            "I am not afraid to commit!" I snapped back immediately, even though that was a boldfaced lie, and everyone knew it. Even if I was afraid to commit, that did not mean I was incapable of it!

            "I'll bet you've never even _thought_ about getting laid," Chou replied.

            "I've thought about it!" I scowled.

            "With who, huh?" Chou laughed. Sano was snickering as well, and I hooked my foot around the back of my chair, shoving it forward. His feet dropped, sending him sprawling forward with them.

            "Shut up!" I complained. It was somewhat satisfying to see Sano so off balance like that. "I can commit! Just because I don't want to immediately jump into the sack with Kaoru doesn't mean I'm not serious about this!"

            "You took a dare, Kenshin," Sano pointed out, yanking my chair back so he could prop his feet up on it again. "You wouldn't even be asking her."

            Jerk. I kicked the chair forward again, and he muttered some curses while he regained his balance. I picked up my books and glared at both of them.

            "I'll ask her in person," I said hotly. "And if you start spreading the word that I want to sleep with her, I swear to god--"

            "Relax, kid," Chou clapped his hand against my back as I pushed past him. "We would not want to risk such rumors reaching the innocent ears of your girl."

            Innocent ears. Right. Kaoru was less likely to be shocked by this than I was. I shook my head and walked away from them, back to my room. The argument had taken up more time than I had anticipated, and I was going to be late. Oh well. A mad dash through falling snow would not kill me.

^_^

            I did worse that Saturday morning than I had done the first time I sparred with Kaoru. It might have been the fact that I was already somewhat worn out, having run the entire way to the gym (which was no small distance). Or maybe I was distracted because of all that talk about asking her out. The most likely reason was that Sano's and Chou's words kept flashing through my mind, making me hesitate every time I got close enough to do anything.

            "You're distracted today, Kenshin," Kaoru observed. Of course, she was barely breathing hard. I remained seated to catch my breath. She smiled and knelt across from me. "Getting geared up for classes again?"

            "I've got most of my homework done," I nodded. All the while, this little voice in the back of my head was chanting, '_Ask her! Ask her! Ask her!_' I sighed. "You?" I was such a pathetic wimp.

            "Eh," she shrugged carelessly, smiling brightly. "I didn't have that much. Ready to go again?"

            "Sure."

            "You really need to strengthen your stance," she reminded me. "You're completely off balance. Look..."

            I watched her set her feet, just as I knew I was supposed to be doing. It was not that I did not know what to do. But how was she to know it was only my own distracted thoughts that would not let my body cooperate? So I tried to do what she suggested.

            "No, _look_," she said again, reaching toward me. This was going to be a painful one. "Look, I can knock you flat without trying."

            She did just that. I gasped as she twisted my arm and sent me sprawling. My back hit the mats, and I coughed, panting in protest of the impact. Kaoru stood over my head, hands braced on her thighs as she smiled down at me.

            "What's the deal, Kenshin?" she asked. "I've never seen you this distracted."

            "I-its..." It was really hard to talk when I could barely breathe. I held up a hand to hold off any questions until I was ready to respond. Kaoru waited patiently. "I... wanted to ask..."

            "Ask what, Kenshin?" Kaoru wondered.

            I stared up at her. She would not reject me. I knew that. So why was it so damned difficult to spit out the question?

            Kaoru just kept staring at me, her head tilted inquisitively.

            "Would you..." I almost screwed it up right then and there. My instinct was to spit out some meaningless question. But I had said I would do this. And Sano would laugh me out of the dorms if I chickened out and went back without asking.

            "Hey, are you feeling okay?" Kaoru laughed, touching my forehead lightly. I frowned and reached up to catch her hand, pulling it away from my face. She blinked at me. "Kenshin?"

            "Will you go out with me this Friday?" It came out a little rushed, but I said it. Not bad. That was the first time I had ever asked anyone out on a date. And, as I should have expected, Kaoru did not respond in the way I would have hoped.

            "Sure," she smiled again. "Where should we go? Misao's been bugging me to go see that film with Ben Affleck in it. Maybe we could all go see--"

            "Kaoru," I cut her off, sitting up--slowly to accommodate for my sore back.

            "Hm?"

            "I was kind of..." I sighed and shook my head. I offered her a wary smile. "I _meant_ that I would like to take you out this Friday. Just the two of us."

            She stared at me.

            "You mean... like a date?" she asked uncertainly.

            "Yeah... like a date," I echoed.

            She smiled slowly.

            "Sure."

            Thank god. It was over, and she'd said yes. Just like Sano had insisted she would. I grinned and pushed myself to my feet.

            "Now that I've gotten that accomplished," I shifted and set up my stance. "You think we can try this again?"

            Kaoru laughed incredulously and straightened as well.

            "Why do I get the feeling this was all just to get me off _my_ balance so you could start winning?"

            I smirked, lifting my eyebrows at her.

            "You think?" I challenged.

            "No," she tossed right back, making me pause. "I think you were losing because you hadn't asked. And I _know_ you never would have asked if it hadn't been eating at you for a long time. Ready?"

            I staggered back, out of her range as she attacked. The little--! She thought she had it all figured out, didn't she? I scowled at her.

            "For that," I grunted as her hand hit my arm. "See if I proofread any of your reports again."

            I caught her hand, twisted, and she was down. Triumph.

            "Come on, Kenshin! You've read those things! I'd fail half my classes if I didn't get someone good to look them over!"

            Triumph again. I grinned and held my hand out to her.

^_^

            Sano was many things, but a dating expert he was not. It made me wonder how he had gotten so far with Megumi when he kept insisting I could get by with taking Kaoru to Taco John's for dinner followed by whatever movie was on HBO that night. I may have been looking to save a buck, but that was just being cheap. No way was I going to impress Kaoru with a burrito.

            I disputed his ideas while I dug through my closet, trying to decide what to wear that Friday. Girls were not the only ones who stressed over that stuff. The clothes didn't jump out of my closet into my arms. I had to make decisions too.

            "I'm serious, Sano," I groaned, glaring over my shoulder at him for a second before looking back at the shirts hanging in the closet. There was a lot of black. Black, some blue, several white, and if I looked really hard, I could spot that orange sweater my aunt gave me last Christmas. I never was one for variety. If I found something that worked, I stuck with it. That sweater clashed something awful with my hair. Even Sano agreed it looked bad. It went straight to the back of the closet. "I want to do something nice. She lives in Sun Fish Lake, for god's sake! She's used to fancy stuff."

            Sano just laughed at me. He finally heaved his butt off my futon and walked over to the closet, leaning over me to look at the choices.

            "Look at you, you idiot," he chuckled. "Getting all flustered over a date."

            "We can't all be suave lady's men," I grumbled. Sano had put a nice portion of his weight against my back, and it was not easy to stay standing where I was. I was tempted to move forward just to spite him. The only thing stopping me was the knowledge that putting him off balance could mean making him fall--and if he fell while I was in his path... A little of his weight was better than _all_ of it.

            "Kaoru's not going to care where you go," Sano ignored my comment for the moment. "You've gone out with her before."

            "Not on a date," I protested.

            "Whatever." I ducked as he reached over me and pulled something out of the closet, knocking down another three shirts in the process. "What's this? I never saw you wear this."

            I eyed those fallen shirts a moment before glancing to the one in his hand. It was an odd thing, actually. It was dark blue, and although it was difficult to tell in the dim light of the closet, there was some intricate pattern in the fabric in an even darker blue. The shirt had one of those Mandarin collars and buttoned down the front and at the cuffs. It was a nice shirt, but I always thought it looked strange. That, and it had been a graduation gift from Enishi, and I had generally avoided anything that involved him. Stupid to let that transfer over into a shirt, but that's what I did.

            "I've never worn it," I admitted. "It's a little dressy, Sano. We're not going to the Ritz."

            "That would require a tie," Sano pushed the shirt back into the closet, knocking down two more hangers. I wanted to pick those up, but again I faced the problem of what would happen if Sano suddenly lost all his support. "Just wear some color, Kenshin. Much more black, and you'd be gothic."

            "There's nothing wrong with that."

            "If you go out and get your tongue pierced, I'm finding a new best man," Sano laughed. He knew I would never do that. For one, the mere thought of having some metal rod shoved through my tongue (or any other body part for that matter) was enough to make me ill to my stomach. What was more, I doubt most kids thought about what they would look like later in life. A middle-aged, overweight man with earrings down the shell of one ear, a nose ring, and a tongue piercing was just an ugly thought.

            "I didn't mean _I'd_ start dressing like that," I moved forward, then shifted back as Sano's weight followed me. "Sano... Sano, can you just--"

            "You've got those khakis still, right?" he interrupted, not letting me finish. I sighed and braced an arm against the counter to help take some of the strain off my back.

            "You mean those ones I wore to work?"

            "I don't know what you wore to work," he snorted.

            "They're in the drawe--" I gasped as he suddenly shifted away, the movement sending me sprawling back. Apparently he did not think so much about what his actions would do.

            "Whoa," Sano chuckled and grabbed my arms, pushing me forward again. "You're not impressing anyone if you can't stand on your own two feet."

            I looked at him incredulously, but he was already pulling open the drawers, searching for the pants.

            "Sano, I don't even know where to take her," I pointed out.

            "Like I said before," Sano yanked out some khaki pants and shook them lightly. "They'll need an iron... or something... ah, Kaoru's not going to care where you take her. If she wanted someone to take her someplace fancy, she would have set her sights on someone she knew could afford it."

            He threw the pants at me and turned to look at me. I shifted uneasily. I looked pretty bad, I knew. It was Sunday, and I wasn't going anywhere, so I had not put much more effort into myself beyond a shower and a clean pair of clothes. I lost all my hair elastics again, so a pencil was all that kept it out of my face for the moment.

            "I can't do anything with... that," he pointed at the tangled mess that was my hair. I sighed. "There's got to be someone on this floor... maybe one of the girls--"

            "I barely know any of the girls on the floor," I groaned. Did Kaoru go through all this just to go on a single date?

            Sano snapped his fingers.

            "I've got just the person," he declared, just before disappearing through the door.

            I sighed again, shaking my head in amusement. Sano had agreed to help me with the whole 'dating Kaoru' thing. I had never been on a date in my life, and he was getting married, so it seemed he should have been a good advisor. Of course, Megumi was a lot different than Kaoru, but the basics were the same, right? And he had helped me get up the guts to actually _ask_ Kaoru out in the first place.

            Sano's voice drifted back into my room a few seconds later, while I picked up those shirts he had spilled onto the floor. The other voice that joined his startled me, and I froze, my heart speeding up in my chest.

            "Here we go," Sano announced, returning to the room with his help. "Kamatari agreed to help with your hair."

            I found myself caught in Kamatari's dark-eyed stare for the first time since we had parted so cautiously last week. He smiled, but it looked strained.

            "Finally got Kaoru to go out with you," he murmured.

            "Uh..." Oh dear god. Of all people. But Sano did not know what had happened last week. It was not my place to tell him. "Have fun in West Virginia?" That was horribly weak.

            "Not really," his smile didn't change. "But we've got more important things to think about, right? Like how we're going to make you look more masculine for your girlfriend."

            With that, he reached forward, transferred the shirts from my hands to Sano's, and pulled me into the room.

            "Girls are vain, sweetheart," he said lightly. "And no girl wants a relationship where her boyfriend is prettier than she is."

            That one brought a flush of red to my face, and I let him pull me across the hall to the bathroom. He had a bold smirk on his face when I met his eyes in the mirror. I had a bad feeling about that.

            "Let's get started!"

^_^

End Notes: Yay! A little Sano and Kenshin interaction this chapter. I was beginning to miss the guy. I'm walking on eggshells here with Kamatari, and I hope I get the relationship across as I had planned. As for Sano's little bout of moodiness, sorry, but it fit for the moment. 

**Very Random Omake**:

**Kenshin**: *examining bandaged fingers* Who on earth would be stupid enough to bite himself?

**Fitz**: *whistling innocently*

**Sano**: I'm sensing a story here.

**Fitz**: *hands Sano an antenna*

**Sano**: What's this for?

**Fitz**: You might want to adjust your senses a bit.

**Kaoru**: Bit? *snicker* Get it? *nudgenudge*

**Kenshin**: That was dumb.

**Omake** #2:

**Kenshin**: *narrating* ...he was already pulling open the drawers, searching for the... pants... Do you know how _weird_ that sounds?

**Fitz**: Er... Well, I changed it to 'the drawers' from 'my drawers' at least.

**Sano**: *snicker* Want me to pull open your drawers, Kenshin?

**Kenshin**: That's quite all right.

**Kaoru**: When do _I_ get to do that?

**Kenshin**: *blush* Erm...

**Fitz**: Have patience, Kaoru.

**Kaoru**: *happy squeal*

**Kenshin**: *trying to sink into the floor*

To the Reviewers!

**Triton Bloom**: Aaaaahhhhh… We all know Fitz can be dense. As for those flashback/dreams, we had a little revelation there for Kaoru. And when it comes to Battousai/Rurouni, I've kind of merged them into one messed up person. I'm trying to keep the personality there, but I don't want them to be separate. Did that make any sense at all?

**Akai Kitsune**: *grin* I was just kidding in that gorilla comment last time. And one never knows when it comes to hugging. Hugs are nice.

**Hana Himura**: You can take Kaoru's actions as you like. And I'm glad you liked the little WAFF scene.

**Chiki**: *smirk* Well, the story won't go on _forever_, but I've still got a bit left that I want to include. And it won't all be torture. And you know… ever time I read the word 'thanx,' the name 'Marx' pops into my head? Strange associations…

**hotaru**: I hope you find a story with a Kaoru who's like that. I'm trying not to make her a ditz. I didn't think I was making her overly touchy… very sympathetic in nature and trying to understand the troubles of people around her when she has no concept of it.

**Calger459**: I love that gorilla. There are lots of Kenshin nightmare fics out there, but you've got an interesting style, so I expect you to make it a little different from the norm. ^_~

Kenshin: I'm not angst-ridden!

Fitz: *stare*  
Kenshin: I'm _not!_

**C-Chan & Eko**: *whispering* Egg noodles are gross! And that scene was WAFF at the end (for me). And I'm hoping for a tiny bit of normalcy in this story, but we'll see what happens.

**Megami No Ushi**: Host family? Where'd you go? (and it takes a lot of confidence to walk around in the nude. ^_^;;) And I'll see what I can do about that candied pink cloud.

**supernaturalove**: You think I could do that? *is dazed* I'd have to go back and insert general physical descriptions of all the people in the story. Thanks for the vote of confidence. *snickers at Kaoru comment* And I noticed that Sano had just fallen out of the story, too. I made the effort to bring him back here.

**omochi**: Kenshin: *runs from nail polish-wielding manicurists*

And those massage therapists actually do say that. I've never taken them up on the offer, though. Thank you, but the underpants remain in proper place.

**Fuuko-san**: *blinks at 'slow' observation* Okay. I can work with that.

**AaarikaaA**: Goodness, what a name. If you've got questions on the timeline, I'd be more than happy to answer them for you. I plan on putting a chapter in later that will jump back in time, but I'll try to keep it clear… Yeah. Thanks for the review.

**nekonomiko**: Pulling up the Thesaurus here… *drags finger down the list* Hmmmm… Ah. Canon: standard, rule, norm, principle, tenet, law. That is to say, the traditional couplings (K/K, S/M, A/M, etc…) as opposed to alternative or shounen ai. *grin* I love it when people ask me questions like that. It makes me feel like less of an idiot for doing the same thing.

**Taralieth**: *blink* Eep! Internet shorthand! *Caller holds up a little ball* B-4! Oooooh! _Bingo! Ahem. Sorry. Thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you like the story._

**marstanuki**: Goodness, you're gone for three days? *in computer withdrawal* Welcome back.

**Gochan**: Contemplating some of those ideas… you may find them later. *smirk* As for that sarcasm… he _doesn't_ realize it because _I_ don't always realize it. It just comes natural. Note… don't speak aloud sarcastic comments in serious moments because people give you dirty looks. Hey, if you can't make fun of a bad situation…

Megumi: *reading a thick text* That is called a defensive mechanism, Fitz-san.

Fitz: ^_^;;

**E-san**: Battousai: _Psychopath!_ I'm not a psycho! I'm perfectly sane. Just because I kill people… *mutter*

*snicker* Anyway, to answer your questions: I certainly have not forgotten about Enishi (nor has Kenshin. Kenshin: *sigh* I _try to!). And as for 'Life Happened,' well… yeah. It'll happen eventually. It's one of those ideas that I absolutely adore, but I'm stuck, you know? It's different than anything I've really done. Give it time. Maybe I'll finish it before you lose total interest in Rurouni Kenshin._

**NightRain**: Eh. Don't ever worry about the length of a review. Most authors love reading all that babble. In any case, thanks for the review. That was exactly the type of response I hoped for.

**Pout**: Congratulations. You have managed to thoroughly confuse me. From what I understood, you liked the chapter and don't think any work of fiction is 'realistic' ever. Um… yeah. I think that just about covers it. So… I hope you liked this chapter, too. Get some sleep.

**Val**: Kaoru: *holding a piece of paper* Get the groceries—check. Wash the dishes—check. Help Kenshin through crises—check. Well! I think that covers it for the day!

*giggle* I couldn't help it. This image just popped into my mind when I read your review.

**dernhelm**: Not much I can say to that.


	22. Spring fever

**Disclaimer**: Kenshin: *looks up from psychology book* Ick. None of this makes sense… *blink* Hi. Yeah, Fitz doesn't own me. (Thank _god._) Nor does she own anything else related to Rurouni Kenshin and its characters. She just likes to mess with us a bit. (The jerk.) *sighs and returns to studying psychology* I am _so_ going to fail this test…

**Notes**: Okaaaaay, so you'll all hate me now. But that's okay. Because I don't actually know any of you, so it's really no skin off my back, right? Right. *sigh* Anyhoo, I make a brief mention of 'the war' in this chapter... yeah, like a sentence and a few words. I'm not really going to touch on it much more than that because it's too sensitive an issue, and I really don't want to deal with it in fanfiction. Just… the story is set in present day America, and I think it is very much a part of life, even if we wish it was not. Okay, that was far more in depth than I even go in the story, so let's move on to lighter things.

**Warnings**: Slight, _slight_ mentions of shounen ai. Thoughts of Kaoru cooking.

Kenshin: *cringe*

Kaoru: Not funny!

Onward!

My Life

            Sunday afternoon, while Kamatari was trying to yank all my hair out, I felt funny. An odd pressure had settled in my chest. I wrote it off as nerves getting the better of me. But that pressure did not fade. It got worse, a little tickle settling in my throat. I was going to be one unhappy college student if I caught a cold this week. By Sunday night I was tired, achy, and downright whiny with how I felt. My psychology homework seemed impossible as I sat in the lounge with several other students.

            "You all right, Kenshin?" Kamatari noticed almost immediately. He was always first to see when others acted strangely. "You look pale."

            "I don't feel that great," I muttered, turning back a page in my book. I had read two pages of that material, and I still had no idea what the chapter was discussing. "I think I'm getting a cold."

            "That sucks," Chou offered. He was working on some math homework, occasionally cursing at the answers his calculator provided. "Don't you got that date come this week?"

            After I got past the urge to correct his bold misuse of the English language, I paused to think about what he had said. My date? Did everyone on the floor know about that? It made sense, I supposed. Kamatari knew about it, and Chou was Kamatari's roommate and best friend.

            "It'll be fine," I sighed and closed my book. It just was not going to happen. "I'm going to bed."

            "It's not even nine," Kamatari blinked at me.

            "I'll turn my clock ahead so I can feel better about myself," I replied, rubbing my forehead between my eyes lightly. There was a tension there that would not fade, and it was making my head ache. "Good night."

            "You coming to breakfast tomorrow morning?" Chou asked casually.

            "Yeah," I had to grin at that. Not too long ago, no one would have been asking me that question. Made a guy feel all tingly. No wait... that was the urge to cough again. "'Night."

            I closed my door behind me, dropped my book on the futon, and stood in the middle of my room for a few seconds, trying to remember what I was doing in my room so early that night. It came to me soon enough, and I pulled off my shirt and pants, letting them stay where they landed. It was kind of muggy in the dorms that night, and I used an old tee shirt and boxers for pajamas. The clothes on the floor got on my nerves, so I threw them into the closet before climbing into bed. Wrapping my arms around my stuffed animal, I settled down for a good night's sleep. I would feel better in the morning.

^_^

            I slept through my alarm. When I did wake, it was the sound of someone pounding on my door that convinced me to finally pry open my eyes. Monday mornings needed to be outlawed.

            That incessant pounding was grating on my nerves. I groaned and kicked back the covers, shuddering at the cold room. I muttered some sort of curse, thinking the University to be cheap, cutting corners and not providing its students with much-needed heating.

            "I'm coming!" I called, then winced. My voice was painfully loud. The sound of it made my head throb, and I held a hand to my temple as I stumbled to the door. It took a few tries, but I got it unlocked. Yanking it open, I glared up at Chou. "What?"

            "He-ey! Easy there, kid," he laughed at my disgruntled greeting. "You look like you just rolled out of bed."

            "I did!" I growled. God, but my head hurt. And the hallway was colder than my room! I shivered and hugged myself against the icy air. "Geez. Did I oversleep?"

            "Chou." That was Aoshi's voice. He had taken to eating breakfast with us on occasion, too. "What's taking so long? Isn't he... oh."

            I stared at the both of them for a minute, wondering why I felt like I was falling when I was just standing there. Chou's laugh was irritatingly loud, Aoshi's face too bright in the usually dim light of the hallway.

            "I'll just..." I pulled back, looking into my closet as if that held the answers. "I'll get dressed. Hold on." I didn't want to get dressed. I had this sudden urge to run across the hall and throw up in the bathroom sink. But I had not eaten since dinner the previous night.

            "Wait." Aoshi was loud too! He was _never_ loud. "Kenshin, you're falling."

            I grabbed the wall, staggering to a stop. Thanking him with a nod, I continued to the closet. Aoshi had other ideas, though, because he grabbed my arm.

            "Shit!" I jerked away, gasping from the shock. "Your hands are cold!"

            "No, you're running a fever," he retorted, frowning at me in disapproval. I wished he wouldn't do that. It made him look like Uncle Hiko--not literally, but that expression was the same.

            "I'm not running a fever," I protested. I couldn't be. I had to go to class--it was the first day back after break--and I had to talk to Kaoru and find out the best time for me to pick her up Friday night...

            Aoshi had a grip on my arms again. It almost hurt, his fingers like icicles against my skin.

            Then, things got confusing. On some level, I knew I was sick. I had known since I had opened my eyes because a pounding head and achy body were not part of a normal day. At the same time, that dizziness, the detached feeling, like I was floating, not really part of what was happening, was familiar, and I did not immediately connect it to illness. 

            For some reason, the more I looked at Aoshi, the less familiar he seemed. He pulled me into the room, all the while frowning. My body hurt too much, and I was too tired to really resist the movements. I just stared at him, thinking, _Do I know him? What's he doing?_ It did not take long before I was convinced I had no idea who he was. It was alarming.

            "What are...?" I lost track of the question as I stumbled, thrown off balance by the way he pushed me around. He was so cold. "Who...?"

            Who was he? I glanced at him, then toward what seemed to be his destination. I frowned, taking in the tangled sheets, the pillow crunched against the wall at the head of the bed. He was taking me there?

            My chest went from slightly achy to painfully tight in less than a second. I dragged my feet, panic surging through me as the man dragged me toward the bed. Groaning in protest, I pushed against him, swiping at his hands, not really awake enough to push him away. It did little good, and we were almost there.

            I dropped, letting my complete weight fall into his hands. It surprised him, and he nearly dropped me. I hit my knees and shoved him away, snarling out angry protests. His hands slid down my arms without purchase when I scrambled away, my back hitting the wall next to the bed.

            "Kenshin..." He knew my name? I cringed back as he approached, hands reaching toward me again.

            "Stay back," I moaned, "Please... just leave me alone."

            "I'm just trying--"

            "What's going on in here?" an anxious, feminine voice joined mine and the man's. "Goodness! Kenshin... what are you doing on the floor?"

            I didn't know her either. The lady crouched next to me, tugging at her skirt when the motion made it ride up. Her hand was cold on my arm, and I flinched.

            "Oh, oh... he's burning up," she commented, clucking her tongue softly. "Someone get some Tylenol or something. I'll sit with him for awhile."

            A woman had taken me away before. I remembered her arm about my waist, just before I had passed out. This one was nice, too, keeping her voice low in consideration of my headache. She slid her hands under my arms, moving as if to stand.

            "_Up_-see-daisies," she said, suddenly hauling me up. "Into bed you go. No?"

            My hands took on a life of their own, clinging to her sleeve with a death grip. Something was wrong with me. Everything hurt, I could barely keep my eyes open, and my body was wracked with chills. There were strangers in my room, but this woman was being nice, so I decided she was okay. I didn't want her to leave.

            "Maybe he'd rather be on the futon," another guy said. I looked at him, but all that spiky blond hair made my eyes hurt, so I looked away again, closing my eyes and pressing my forehead against the woman's shoulder. "He got all jumpy when Aoshi tried to put him in bed."

            "Maybe," the woman echoed. "Chou, go get chickie. Darling, did you get--oh, you're a dear. Get some water. Kenshin?"

            I wondered how she knew my name. That other, really tall man knew my name, so maybe he told her. I looked at her, and she held something up. I stared at it for a minute, unable to figure out what it was.

            Things got more confusing after that. People talked, and I could tell they were talking, but their words just didn't make sense. I would hear them, and for an instant I knew what was being asked of me, but then it flew away again. All that was left was me, my room, and all these unfamiliar people.

            Sano came. I heard his voice, ordering things. Then, the man with Sano's voice picked me up. I lost track of things after that. Someone pushed a sweater over my head, and I squirmed in annoyance when they tried to force a pair of sweatpants on me. There was a moment of clarity. I sat on the futon, wrapped in a blanket, Sano sitting next to me with his arm over my shoulders to keep me from falling. I opened my eyes and saw Kamatari looking at me worriedly.

            "I don't think he even knows we're here," he was saying.

            "I know..." I muttered. Even talking seemed to take an immense amount of effort. "I hurt..."

            "Yeah," Sano squeezed my shoulders lightly. "Your uncle's coming to take you to the doctor."

            "I'll miss class," I sighed.

            "Don't worry about that, Kenshin," Kamatari bent down and brushed some hair out of my face, pressing his hand to my cheek. It was painfully cold, and I turned my face away. The phone rang, hurting my ears.

            "Turn that off," I protested.

            Kamatari picked up the phone, talked awhile, and it faded away.

            Sano pushed me to my feet, saying something again. The lady came back, pushing my arms into a jacket. I just wanted to sleep. I told them this, but they wouldn't let me lay down. The woman was pretty strong, I decided, because she picked me up at one point, to take me out of the room. I grumbled in irritation and rested my head on her shoulder. Everything disappeared, and I fell asleep.

^_^

            I drifted for awhile, slipping in and out of dreams and darkness. My fever broke later that night, and I woke feeling sweaty and uncomfortable. I had kicked off the blankets sometime before, but I still had on those sweatpants and the sweater. Grumbling to myself, I took those off as well.

            "Ick," I complained to no one in particular, considering I was alone in my room. I needed a shower. That in mind, I crawled out of bed and located a clean pair of pajamas. My body still ached, my stomach declaring itself unable to contain anything solid, but at least I could figure out where I was. The confusion of before had been disturbing. I hoped I had not said anything...

            "What do you think you're doing?"

            I had not even made it across the hallway. In fact, when Sano stopped me, I was leaning against the wall, trying to make the room stop spinning. For the most part, I was unsuccessful.

            "Going to the bathroom," I grumbled, even as I sank to sit on the floor. "I want to take a shower."

            "You can't even walk there," Sano snorted. "You think you can stand in the shower that long?"

            "It's not that bad," I sighed. "I'm not that sick."

            "Your uncle said you have the flu," Sano shot back. "And not three hours ago, you were adamant that Kamatari was your sister. The poor guy had to sit with you for half an hour before you finally let him go!"

            "That--" I frowned suspiciously. "I did not."

            Sano lifted his eyebrows at me in challenge. I scowled at him and pushed myself back to my feet. The hallway immediately started rocking like crazy, and I closed my eyes to block it out, taking a deep breath to stave off the sickness.

            "You're being stupid," Sano informed me. "Get back in bed."

            I frowned at him. He was treating me like a child, and I did not like it one bit.

            "I have to use the bathroom," I stated evenly, knowing he could not stop me with that claim.

            "Fine," he gestured to the door across the hall. "You want some help?"

            "No!" For god's sake. I could use the toilet without someone standing over me.

            But my legs would not cooperate. Sano kept watching me, this knowing expression on his face that was just infuriating. I glared at him, daring him to say anything. He took the challenge.

            "Keep going. You're making real progress."

            "You're an ass," I groaned.

            "Want some help?"

            "Just to get there," I grudgingly allowed. "I can do the rest myself." Either that, or I would hold it until it killed me.

            So he grabbed my arms and all but dragged me across the hall. He left me standing in front of the toilet, taking my change of clothes as he went. So much for my shower.

            I stayed in that bathroom longer than originally intended. Much of that time was spent just sitting against the wall, hoping I wouldn't get sick. Sano must have been watching the hallway for any movement, though, because as soon as I opened the door, he was walking toward me.

            "You look like shit," he announced casually.

            "Thank you," I leaned against him when he wrapped his arm around my back and started pulling me into the hallway. "What time is it?"

            "Eight-twenty," he replied.

            "Still Monday?"

            "Yup."

            "Good," I sighed. If it was Monday, that meant I had until Friday to recover from this. Three full days. That was enough time. "Um... Sano?"

            "Yeah?"

            "Where are we going?"

            "My room," he replied.

            I had been wondering why we were leaving the wing. He was taking me out through the social lounge at eight-twenty on a Monday evening?!

            "Sano!" I pushed back against his grip, squirming ineffectively to free myself. "You're not taking me out there."

            "And _you_ are not staying alone in that room tonight," Sano shot back, wrestling with me and winning. I groaned, wincing at the pounding in my head. He picked me up. What was with everyone carrying me around? I wasn't an invalid!

            "Put me down, Sano," I ordered.

            "Sure," he smirked at me. "When we get to my room. I'll put you in Tom's old bed."

            "Nnnngh..." I had my arm over his shoulder, his head within easy reach. It would have been an incredibly simple thing to knock him flat on his back, even with how sick I felt and how I was caught up in his arms. All I had to do was reach up, grab some of his hair, and... That would have sent both of us crashing down, which would have been just as embarrassing as what he was already doing. "God, you're an ass."

            He laughed at me. I wished the floor would just jump up and swallow me. But it didn't, and he carried me right out into the social lounge. I crunched up in his arms, pressing my face against his shoulder and prayed no one would see me.

            Someone let out an ear-splitting whistle. That was followed shortly by a shouted comment.

            "Hey, Sano! Didn't know you and Himura were that close!"

            I groaned, more from the pain caused by that idiot's voice than the embarrassment, although that was definitely a factor.

            "Too... loud..." I muttered.

            "Lay off, Johnson!" Sano was _still_ laughing! Jerk. "He's sick."

            "I don't want to know," Johnson replied.

            "You're worse than Chou," Sano snorted.

            "I'm going to kill all of you," I mumbled into Sano's shoulder. "Slowly. Painfully."

            "Not very scary, Kenshin," Sano chuckled. "Wait until you can stand without help before you start spouting out death threats."

            I would have responded, but I was busy yawning.

^_^

            I spent two nights in Sano's room, actually. He's a surprisingly good nursemaid. I told him that, and he laughed... just before smacking the back of my head. For that, I took back everything nice I ever said about him. Actually, I had not said a whole lot that was nice about him, so that didn't mean much.

            Tuesday, I was able to walk around for awhile. That was more because Sano had to go to his own classes, and I snuck out of his room for that shower I had wanted to take Monday. My fever had come back, and nothing I did would make that water warm enough. Sano probably figured out that I had left the room, considering I was wearing a tee shirt and boxers when he left, and when he came back, I was wearing flannel pants and a sweatshirt. He didn't say anything. Of course, I was sleeping most of the rest of the time.

            Wednesday, I went to a grand total of one class out of the three I had that day. At least Sano let me use his computer to email my professors. After I used it, he sprayed his keyboard with some Lysol he borrowed from a girl in the next wing. Gee... it seemed he was afraid of catching whatever I had.

            By Wednesday, my fever was mostly down. But for the fact that I was extraordinarily dizzy and a bit achy, I was not so bad off. That, and those waves of sickness--those ones where I felt like I had to make a dive for the bathroom or throw up right there on the seat next to me--kept me mostly to my bed. As long as I didn't walk around, I was fine. Just peachy.

            I talked to Kaoru Thursday. She called me, worried since I had not shown up for two days of writing.

            "Poor thing!" She just fawned over me, even on the phone. Made me grin like crazy to think someone like her would worry so much about me. "You should have called. I would have come over and made some lunch for you."

            Oooh. I had to wince at that thought. Although, maybe she would have just made a can of soup or something. There was really no way to screw that up. Easy Mac! _No_ one could mess up that!

            "That's okay," I replied. "I'm feeling a little better."

            "We can reschedule our date," Kaoru reminded me.

            "Ohhhhhh," I groaned, rubbing my forehead tiredly. My headache still had not gone away. "Um, let's see how I'm feeling tomorrow, okay?"

            "Kenshin, you couldn't even make it to all your classes today," Kaoru pointed out. "Just give it up. Let's just go out next Friday."

            I didn't _want_ to go out next Friday. I had finally gotten up the guts to ask her out, and it figured. It just figured. Why couldn't _Sano_ have caught the damned flu? Why me? _Whyyyyyyyyy?!_

            "Kenshin?"

            "I'm here!" Apparently I had been quiet for awhile. "I'll go to class tomorrow, and we'll talk about it then, okay?"

            "We'll see," she said, as if the decision had been made already.

            It wasn't fair! I felt like throwing a tantrum. Or whining. Not fair, not fair, not _fair!_

            "If you don't make it to class tomorrow, I'll come visit you," Kaoru added. "I'll make some chicken soup."

            "You will?" I asked. I was definitely going to have to make it to class, if just to prove I did not need that soup.

            "Oh, shut up!" she groaned. "I'll get Misao to make it!"

            "I didn't say anything!" I said quickly.

            "You were _thinking_ it!"

            I didn't say anything to that. We talked about other things after that. She told me what I had missed in class, and I complained about the homework I would have to make up. Then, it was on to things unrelated to school, like the latest movies and the latest news about the war. That was kind of a scary thought, but at the moment I really was too sick to care much.

            "You sound tired," Kaoru said finally. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay, Kenshin?"

            "Sure," I agreed. She was too good at figuring me out. "See you tomorrow. I'll feel better."

            "I'm sure you will," Kaoru agreed. "Good night."

            "'Night."

            She was patronizing me, of course, agreeing with me like that. But what could I do? I let her get away with it. It was easier that way. Plus, she had already hung up.

^_^

            Uncle Hiko called every night to make sure I was still alive. He called again that night, not long after Kaoru hung up. This time, he had some news.

            "Your aunt's wedding is in a couple weeks," he stated, after we got through the usual pleasantries. "April fifth. I want you to get a new suit."

            "Suit?" I echoed. Goody. I hated suits. At least I didn't have to wear a tux. Megumi wanted me to wear one of those for her wedding. As Sano's best man, I was supposed to be dressed up a bit nicer than the average guest.

            "I'll give you some money," Uncle Hiko said, as if I was really asking a lot of him. I never asked for money. He must have thought that was why I sounded so apprehensive.

            "Should it be black?" I asked. "Or does it matter?"

            "It doesn't matter," he said. "Just make sure it's not too big for you. And fix your hair. I won't have you showing up to her wedding looking like a punk off the street."

            "Give me a little credit," I grumbled. I sighed, then blinked as I thought of something. "Can I bring a date?"

            "A _date_?" he asked. The way he said it, a person would have thought the world was ending.

            "Yeah, Uncle Hiko," I scowled, as if he could see it through the phone. "A date."

            He snorted, sounding very much like he was trying not to laugh.

            "If you have someone you'd like to bring, by all means, bring her," he said finally.

            "Thanks," I shook my head. "I'm tired, Uncle Hiko. I should go."

            "Don't forget to go shopping for that suit," he reminded me. "And not the weekend before the wedding. Please."

            "Sure, sure," I sighed.

            "Good," he grunted. "Go take something. You sound like a nasal six-year-old."

            The phone clicked in my ear. He always had to get in the last word. I rolled my eyes and hung up the phone. I _did_ take some cold medicine that night. In fact, I had been on some prescribed antibiotics all week. My opinion was that it was just some overpriced medication that would have done the same thing as any over-the-counter cold and flu drugs. What did I care? Uncle Hiko's health insurance paid for most of it anyway.

^_^

            I _did_ make it to class that Friday. Thank god I only had one. Just walking to the bus that would take me to the other bank was a chore. By the time I reached the classroom, I was ready to pass out. Kaoru scolded me for showing up.

            "You should be in bed!" she declared the instant she saw me.

            "I've missed a whole week of classes!" I replied. "I'll survive."

            "I'll bet you still want to go out tonight, too!" she frowned at me.

            "No," I admitted, although I didn't want to. "I was kind of hoping this would run like a cold and be mostly over after a couple days."

            "You were really sick, Kenshin," Kaoru patted my head lightly. She always knew just how to make a person feel like he was ten years old again. "Sanosuke said you couldn't stay awake for more than half an hour at a time earlier this week."

            "When did you talk to Sano?" I wondered.

            "Wednesday," she smiled. "He answered your phone when I called just after English."

            "Of course," I cut off in a yawn at that point.

            "Look! You're already falling asleep!" Kaoru pointed dramatically.

            "I'm _fine!_" I complained. "If I don't move around, I feel just fine. Okay? I'll be fine."

            "Okay, okay!" Kaoru backed off, smiling. "Don't bite my head off. I'll let you torture yourself."

            "Thank you," I nodded, even though that sounded incredibly stupid. Hell, it was stupid. I should have been in bed, but I really could not convince myself that it was okay to miss that much class. I may have been paranoid, but I had failed enough classes in my lifetime. No way was I going to let the flu screw it up for me again.

            Kaoru insisted on walking me back to the dorm. She sat next to me on the bus and walked me across the courtyard to the building. She went as far as the main lobby with me before apologizing and rushing away.

            "I'll be late for Sociology if I don't run," she said. "We've got a quiz at the beginning of every class."

            "Talk to you later," I waved and stood a bit unsteadily, watching her disappear through the doors.

            Kamatari's door was open when I walked back toward my room. I was incredibly sick of staring at my room, so I stopped and tapped on his door lightly. He looked up from his computer and smiled when he saw me.

            "Silly boy!" he scolded. "Come sit down! Before you pass out."

            I settled on the edge of his bed. His comforter was yellow with purple plaid on it. It was a cheery thing, if a little bright for my tastes. It beat looking at my forest green comforter, though.

            "Enjoying your day off?" I asked, feeling a bit awkward. I still was not all that comfortable with him. It was not so much the thought that he had made a pass at me, but more that I thought he might still actually _like_ me. Like... well, in the somewhat romantic sense of the word. Considering I did not like him at all like... that... it was a little weird. So help me, I actually felt _bad_ about the fact I would never feel anything. As if that meant anything to him.

            "It's nice to have some free time," he agreed. "I was thinking about going shopping tonight. I need some new clothing. _Men's_ clothing."

            "What for?" I frowned.

            "Got to dress for the job," he shrugged. "If I want people to take me seriously."

            "Oh…" I didn't know what to say to that. He was right, though. It wasn't fair, but he was right. Even if people mistook him for a woman, the fact of the matter was that the average man was still held in higher regard. No matter what people said, we lived in a male-dominated society. Technically, that should have been a good thing for me, but with my looks, I had already resigned myself to the same type of struggle Kamatari had. I didn't even have to wear make-up for that.

            "You reschedule your date with Kaoru?" he asked. The question startled me, coming from him. I looked at him guiltily.

            "Yeah," I swallowed, suddenly feeling very selfish for having been so put out by having to cancel my date.

            "That's too bad," he said, sounding sincere.

            "Yeah," I said again. My socks suddenly looked really interesting.

            "What's eating at you, Kenshin?" he asked. It occurred to me that he never called me sweetheart anymore. Once, maybe, since he had gotten back.

            "Does it bother you?" I hated that I had to ask. It wasn't being fair to him. All that time, I never questioned him or how he did things. I never felt the need. But it was different. It changed.

            "What?" he sounded surprised by the question. I picked at a loose thread on the hem of my jeans.

            "That I'm dating Kaoru," I murmured. "Does it bother you?"

            He didn't answer for awhile. The question was rather personal, and I assumed he wanted to answer it even less than I wanted to _hear_ the answer. But at the same time...

            "I understand, Kenshin," he said finally. A person had to flinch at that kind of answer. How very diplomatic--meaningless, really. "Kenshin, look at me." I blinked, startled at the order. "I'm answering this. You can look at me."

            I looked at him. He smiled, but I could tell it was forced. It faded quickly.

            "I won't say it doesn't hurt," he said, suddenly averting his own gaze. It was easier for me to watch him when he wasn't staring right back at me, so I couldn't complain. "It does. But I understand. And I'm happy for you. You've been hanging out with Kaoru for a long time now, and we all knew it was just a matter of time before you asked her out--or she asked _you_ out."

            "Kamatari--"

            "So it's not like I didn't expect it, you know?" he wouldn't let me stop him. I bit my lip and kept my mouth shut. "And I'll get over it. There are plenty of fish in the sea, right?"

            "Yeah..." I whispered. The guilt was eating at me. "I'm sorry."

            Kamatari blinked and looked up at me. He grinned then, bright and sincere.

            "I know," he reached over and patted my knee. "And it's okay. If you can get past the fact that I wear women's clothing, I can get over the fact that you want to date females." He huffed a loud sigh then, his breath flipping his bangs up into the air. "God knows _why_ you'd want to do that when there are _so_ many good-looking guys around here."

            I chuckled, shaking my head at the comment.

            "That's what I like to see," Kamatari poked my nose. "Didn't I tell you your face was made for smiling? Come on, Kenshin. You belong in bed."

            "I'm on a bed," I retorted. I lifted my eyebrows at him. "You know... you owe me for all those times you dragged me shopping."

            "Oh dear," he smiled. "I'm afraid to ask."

            "I need a suit," I told him. "For my aunt's wedding."

            "And you want some help finding one?" Kamatari wondered.

            "As much as I hate to admit it," I sighed. "You're the best opinion around. You know what it's like for a guy who looks like he belongs in the women's departments."

            He laughed and stood.

            "All right," he agreed. "As long as you agree to rest. I'll go get your pillow, and you sit in here for awhile. But you're not spending the night. It's a good thing I've got some clean sheets. I need that bed."

            "Hnnn," I leaned back against the wall wearily. "You know you wouldn't mind."

            "Don't tempt me, sweetheart," he snorted.

            Ummm... I blinked at him, and he grinned. Shaking my head, I laid down and curled up on the blanket as he fished around my bag for my keys. I was asleep before he came back with that pillow.

^_^

**End Notes**: Okay, so the date was slightly delayed. But it stands that they _will_ have a date. It'll just be a bit longer before I indulge in it. (Actually, next chapter.)

Kenshin: Why do I catch every little bug that's out there?

Fitz: Because you make such a cute sick person.

Kenshin: Riiiiight.

Fitz: *sigh* Okay. Because you've screwed up your immune system with all the drugs you took when you were in high school. Like that answer better?

Kenshin: It makes more sense, anyway. I still don't like it.

Fitz: And now everyone knows how _I_ felt over my spring break. Granted I was not delirious, but pretty close. And thus, it took me an age and a day to update last time.

Fun-type stuff! 

_Fitz's attempts at making a sentence without making a bad gay joke_. (Note: This comes from the very end of chapter 21, if anyone's wondering. And yes, I actually did go through this process because the original sentence I had was just too stupid.)

**Fitz**: Let's see... He's standing in his closet, putting clothes away, when Kamatari comes in.

**Kenshin**: *groan* I can see where this is leading.

**Fitz**: Hush! I'm trying! Okay, so I've got,

            'With that, he reached forward, transferred the shirts from my hands to Sano's, and pulled me out of the closet.'

Appropriate, considering Kamatari was the one pulling you out of the closet, no?

**Kenshin**: *smacks forehead*

**Fitz**: Right, but he's also pulling you... where? Into the room? So instead of referring back to where you were, how about I refer to where you're _going_?

**Kenshin**: I can work with that.

**Fitz**: Triumph! The final product?

            'With that, he reached forward, transferred the shirts from my hands to Sano's, and pulled me into the room.'

How's that?

**Kenshin**: Much better.

**Random Omake**: #1

**Kenshin**: *narrating* I heard his voice, ordering things.

**Sano**: A Big Mac and Super-Sized fries.

**Kenshin**: Can I have something?

**Sano**: And a Chicken Nugget Happy Meal.

**Kenshin**: Open the toy baggie for me?

**Random Omake**: #2

**Kenshin**: Easy Mac! _No_ one could mess up that!

**Fitz**: *snicker* I know someone who messed it up!

**Kenshin**: *groan* You mean, it's actually possible?

**Kaoru**: *sniff* Something smells funny.

**Kenshin**: It's coming from the microwave...

**Kaoru**: Ack! The Easy Mac burned!

**Kenshin**: *long-suffering sigh* You're supposed to put water with the noodles _before_ you cook them, Kaoru.

**Kaoru**: *nervous giggle* Whoops.

**Random** (rather scary) **Omake**: #3

**Kenshin**: *narrating* I had finally gotten up the guts to ask her out, and it figured. *blink* It's like _ra-ee-aaaaaain_, on your wedding day! It's a free ri-iiiide, when you already paid!

**Kaoru**: Isn't it ironic?

**Megumi**: Dontcha think?

**Sano**: And who woulda thought? It fig-ures!

**Kenshin**: Whoa. We skipped a few lines.

**Megumi**: Sanosuke, honey.

**Sano**: *smirk* Yeah?

**Megumi**: Don't ever sing like that again.

**Sano**: *sweatdrop*

To the reviewers! A bit long-winded. My apologies. 

**Calger459**: Yes, girls are confusing. I can't figure them out, and I _am_ one. Heck, I can't figure _me_ out.

Kenshin: I thought everyone was like that.

**Akai Kitsune**: Sano was just being mean. He didn't mean it, did you, Sano?

Sano: Of course I did. _Not_! Of course, I did _not!_

Just takes a little prodding.

Sano: *rubs sore side*

*snicker*

**Sujakata**: Don't worry. I stated that this would be a canon coupling fic, and I hold by that. And I'm getting to Enishi. I'm just taking my sweet time about it.

**C-Chan, Eko, and Yuusuke**: Ahhhhh, the big _yaoi_. *dramatic music* And Yuusuke's gonna read it? That's a lot for him, I'm told, what with him not being much of a student… Whaaaaaat? No more shounen ai? *sigh* Ruin all my fun, why don't you?

**Hana Himura**: Kenshin: *studying Hana's comment, goes back to read chapter* Did I? I did! *blush*

Erm… okay, so Kenshin didn't purposely ruin it… and he'll make it up. Again.

**Pout**: Yay Easy Mac! 'twas my staple my freshman year in college. Waitaminute… still a freshman. Dear lord, I'm never gonna graduate.

**MightyMightyMunson**: Question: Is Munson someone particular? (Someone a person like me should know?) *shrug* Anyhoo, thanks for the review. Glad you like Kamatari. He's a favorite of mine.

**Val**: Let's see… circumstances beyond their control… check. 

Kenshin: Everyone's against me. Even nature. *cough* May I go back to bed now?

**NightRain**: Let's see… there's a little kiosk at the Mall of America that sells shirts like that. Other than that… not a clue. *sigh* Husband? I'll be lucky if I ever get a boyfriend. Come one, people! Am I unattractive?

Sano: Hell, no! Just… kind of scary.

Fitz: *glare*

Sano: Yeah, like that.

**Gypsy-chan**: Kenshin: Three cheers for me! *looks around* Whaaaaat?

**Fuuko-san**: Place? What? You men I actually have to figure out a place for them to _go?_

**Megami no Ushi**: Question for you, too! What's the translation of your name? And answers for you… ummmm, not going to have much on Kaoru's pre-date actions. That would require Kenshin's presence, or at least someone who would describe it to him. And thanks for describing your experience. That sounds… interesting, in any rate. ^_~

**Chiki**: *snicker* I liked that omake. Although… I had fun with the ones in this chapter too. And according to my dictionary, bestest is not a word. Best is as good as it gets… kind of like people who say 'more perfect.' Really, once it's perfect, you can't make it _more_ so. Poor thing. Hope your internet starts working for you again!

**marstanuki**: Look! Another person who can't easily access the internet! It's an epidemic! Hope you get that fixed.

**Gochan**: *snickers at Ugly joke* I do that all the time with our dog and… whoever else is in the room. I know M/A is kinda there but kinda dropped out of sight. Aoshi's a bit of a minor character, but he'll show up a few times now and then.


	23. A date and the aftermath

**Disclaimer**: I own… not a danged thing.

**Notes**: Can I say one thing that bugs me when it comes to fanfiction? 'I suck at summaries' being in the summary. Sheesh, don't do that people! That discredits you and makes people not want to bother reading what may indeed be a decent story. Write something, _anything_, just don't put 'my summary sucks'! (even if it does stink, who cares? It's just a summary) Actually, I haven't seen a lot of that lately, so kinda nice…

Right, so now that I've probably offended all sorts of people, let's move on. This chapter is kind of weird, just in that there's lots of stuff in it. Yes, the awaited 'date with Kaoru' is in it, but there's more. Mostly because the date just isn't that long. Sorry, but I wanted it that way… um, yeah.

And an additional note: I have been informed by a reviewer that I made a mistake in the previous chapter regarding Harvard. My apologies, and I intend to fix it as soon as I am able.

**Warnings**: Not much… Kamatari + clothes, radio with Delilah.

Onward!!

My Life

            By the following Monday, I felt almost human again. I still coughed a lot, had a few dizzy spells, not to mention bouts where I demanded to know why I caught every little thing that went through the student body and then some. On the flip side, I caught up on all my homework over the weekend, made up a quiz Tuesday morning, and by Wednesday everything was back to normal, but for the constant supply of tissues I kept with me.

            "Yeesh," Kamatari grimaced when I had to stop, no thanks to the harsh coughing that rushed through my system. "We'll never get any help with you hacking up a lung like that."

            I sniffed and gratefully accepted the tissue he handed me.

            "I'm sorry!" I grumbled. "If I didn't have to get this suit before next weekend, I would just stay home."

            "Kind of scary when you call college home."

            "I didn't say that."

            "You did."

            "Must be the medication."

            "Must be."

            Friday afternoon, Kamatari went suit shopping with me. He had been uncertain about driving me out to the mall, but I had retorted that I would just take a bus if he didn't want to go with me. Of course, I would have ended up with an outfit that made me look like a cross-dressing girl, but I was not going to let that stop me.

            "You're not going to impress Kaoru if you keep coughing like that," he offered, smiling when a sales clerk walked past us without so much as a second glance. "Hey! Do you work here?"

            "Huh?" the guy blinked at Kamatari, then at me. "Yeah... Can I help you find something?"

            "My friend here needs a suit," Kamatari smiled and batted his eyelashes prettily. "You know someone who can help us?"

            I sighed, then coughed again.

            "Oh... sure," the man--Jon, according to his name tag--looked at me doubtfully. "What's the occasion?"

            "Wedding," I offered, sounding pretty pathetic, I might add, without the breath to back up that statement.

            "He's looking for something modern and not overly masculine," Kamatari added.

            "Let's not go crazy," I muttered.

            "Come on, sweetheart," Kamatari took my arm and pulled me forward. "You wanted my help, and you're going to get it. Trust me on this, okay?"

            "I'll see what I've got in your size..." _Jon_ said. The way he stood and talked to us, I guessed he would rather have been anywhere else but there. I was certain I could oblige him in that if he didn't stop looking at me like I was trying to trick him. "You'll probably have to get some alterations."

            Thus, why Uncle Hiko had wanted me to do my shopping more than a week before the wedding. I sighed and nodded.

            "I figured as much," I had to fight the urge to reach back and fuss with the string I had in my hair. It was the only thing I could find, and the ends of it dangled down into my hair like a girl might wear it. It didn't help that it was a multicolored thing, cut off a ball of yarn Kamatari had in his closet. The guy was already looking at me like I might try to hit on him at any moment--afraid and disdainful all at once. Despite my desire to hide that stupid string, guys weren't supposed to play with their hair. Only the girly and the vain did that. Kamatari did that. "That's fine. Just show me what you've got."

            The guy flushed a bit at my demand. I wanted to hit him. Kamatari must have seen me seething because he slid between us, smiling at the man nicely. Jon forgot his reaction to me and smiled back at Kamatari. There was something to be said for leading some guys on. Idiot.

            I was sick of trying on clothes by the time the seamstress came to look at the suit I settled on. Kamatari had disappeared at some point, and I was left to model for the clerk and the woman who sat on the couch outside the fitting room. She was with her husband, who was also suit shopping. Between giving me her opinion and fussing over her husband's choice of clothing, she managed to inform me that their twenty-fifth anniversary was coming up, and they were going on a cruise to celebrate. Kamatari probably left because that woman had noticed almost immediately that he was not exactly the typical girl. Older women were funny that way. They usually could figure it out.

            Kamatari returned as I was handing the jacket to Jon and turning to go back to the room to finally change back into my own clothes. He had a big smile on his face and an armload of clothes in his hands. I groaned.

            "No... please..."

            The woman on the couch lifted her hand to her face, probably to hide her smile, but she could not hide her shaking shoulders. I gave Kamatari my best why-are-you-torturing-me look as he held out the clothes.

            "You need something new," he announced, tugging at the collar of the dress shirt I was wearing. "You're already going to hack all over Kaoru tonight. You might as well look nice while you do it."

            "Maybe I should just postpone our date again if everyone thinks I'm going to offend her so much," I protested as he shoved me back into the fitting room. "Kamatari, I'm tired! I'm sick of trying this stuff on."

            "You can nap in the car on the way back," he poked at my shoulders. I glared at him, and he did the unthinkable. The bastard goosed me.

            My yelp had half the store looking at me strangely. I nearly dropped all the clothes, and I had to bite my lip to keep from swearing at him.

            "_Don't_--!" I gritted my teeth in annoyance and glowered at him, silently promising murder if he tried that again. "Don't do that."

            "Go try the clothes on," he replied serenely, not at all bothered by my scowl.

            Muttering to myself, I stomped back into the room, dumping the clothes on the bench in there and unbuttoning my shirt. I eyed the shirts he'd picked out and pulled one on, also putting on my jeans before walking out again. Kamatari smiled, blithely unaware of my irritation as he took the dress pants and shirt and considered me.

            "That's nice," he murmured. "Go try on something else."

            "Give that to the clerk," I retorted. "I'm supposed to pay for it before they'll alter it."

            "Sure, sweetheart." He had slipped back to calling me that again. I wasn't sure if I should be worried or grateful. I decided to ignore it. "Go try on that white sweater."

            I ended up buying the suit, a plain dress shirt, two new ties--which cost an arm and a leg in and of themselves--and a light knit shirt which I was ordered to wear that night. It was nice, for all the pains Kamatari put me through to get it. It was somewhat fitted, but not too bad, and had one of those V-necks. It was kind of plain, with a white strip across the front while the rest was a really dark blue. He'd tried to put me in navy, which I had starkly refused. I couldn't say why, but I hated that color.

            I took Kamatari up on that offer for a nap on the ride back to campus. He was decent about it, flipping the radio to WLTE and showing me how to put the seat back. I fell asleep, lulled by the thought that at least I would still be able to afford dinner that night thanks to Uncle Hiko coughing up the money for the clothes.

^_^

            The date was probably dull compared to what most guys might expect of a first date. But for the nervous fluttering of my stomach, it was not much different than any other time Kaoru and I had gone out.

            We went to Chipotle, which was not exactly the height of formal dining, but it was nicer than the usual. Not to mention a person _had_ to call ahead unless he wanted to wait forty minutes for a table. I chose the place because Megumi had raved about it before and recommended it again earlier that week while we were studying together. And because it was within walking distance of Kaoru's dorm. The world must have liked me that day because it did not rain, which it had been doing most of the week. Minnesota weather could be so unpredictable.

            I met her in the lobby at six. She looked nice in a pink shirt and a long, kind of flowy white skirt with lots of tiny pink and blue flowers on it. Her hair was half back, held in place by little silver barrettes with butterflies on them. I'd never seen her so dressed up. Even that time I went to church on Christmas morning with her family, she had dressed in a plain wool skirt and a sweater, and her hair had been in its typical pony tail.

            In those moments when I first saw her, I was very glad I had agreed to by a new shirt. It was still cool out, so I wore a white tee shirt under it, which the neckline was somewhat visible, but other than that, it was just the new shirt and my khakis. After a week of scrounging and borrowing strings from Kamatari, I had finally bought some elastics for my hair, so it was back in a pony tail as well--up higher because I could get more back, and I looked less scruffy that way.

            "Wow, Kenshin," Kaoru said when she walked through the security doors to meet me. "You look really nice."

            Wasn't the guy supposed to compliment the girl first? Of _course_ Kaoru would beat me to it. Making me look bad...

            "Thanks," I smiled and gestured to the door. "You look pretty with your hair like that."

            She blushed. Score one for the smooth talker. I held the door open for her, too.

            "How're you feeling?" she asked as we walked toward the restaurant. "You sound better. Not so stuffy."

            "Ah... yeah." Nice conversation topic. I nodded and smiled uneasily. "I'm feeling a lot better."

            "Did you get your suit?"

            "Yeah..." I wrinkled my nose at the memory, and she laughed. Talk was light after that. I told her about my shopping experiences, and she described her chemistry lab. Apparently, someone in her lab group got his jacket sleeve caught in one of the spectral analysis--whatever she called it--machines. They spent twenty minutes trying to get him free. By the time we got to the restaurant, she had me laughing so hard I started coughing. Kaoru was patting my back when we got there, and she had to give the hostess our names. Lost a point there. I wasn't supposed to make her _worry_ about me on our date.

^_^

            Dinner was fine. Kaoru ordered dessert. I had a bite of her brownie, but my appetite still was down, so I didn't order anything for myself. Nothing unusual happened. Check that--_I_ paid for the meal, which was unusual.

            She held my hand as we walked back to her dorm that night. It was not the first time she had done that, but it _was_ the first time we had been on a date and she had done it. I found myself continually looking down at our hands, clasped lightly between us. But then Kaoru curled her arm around mine, linking her fingers through mine and leaning against me, blocking my view. That was okay. I was floating.

            I walked all the way up to her room. Her roommate had gone out that night, so we did not have an audience. That was nice--not so awkward.

            "So," I glanced around her room curiously. It had been awhile since I had last visited. In fact, I didn't think I had been there since before winter break. It looked much the same. "Doing anything this weekend?"

            I was stalling, but Kaoru did not seem to mind.

            "Make yourself comfortable," she suggested, turning on some lights. "Not really. I hoped you would feel well enough to spar tomorrow, but you're still coughing."

            "We can still spar," I said quickly. 

            "How about we do brunch instead," she replied, smiling at me. My heart was attempting to beat its way straight out of my chest. The smile I gave her was probably the dumbest looking thing she'd see for awhile.

            "Okay."

            "Want to play a game or something?"

            "Sure."

            She turned on the radio, and we played Trivial Pursuit. It was the original Genus edition, and therefore horribly outdated. My knowledge of useless facts from the nineteen-eighties was little to none, and Kaoru won the game in little under two hours. By that point, it was pitch black outside, and I still had to get back to the other side of campus. I really was not looking forward to the walk alone in the dark.

            "I should go," I admitted finally, glancing at the clock. It was after ten.

            "Already?" Kaoru followed my gaze. "Oh. I didn't realize it was that late."

            "Yeah..." I sighed and pushed myself to my feet. I got my shoes and jacket on and hesitated at the door. I _really_ did not want to leave. Part of it was because I was having a nice time. Most of it was just my apprehension at walking across campus at ten-thirty on a Friday night. "That was fun."

            "We should do it again sometime," Kaoru agreed. Was I grinning like an idiot? Oh yeah.

            "Are you doing anything April fifth?" I wondered.

            Kaoru lifted her eyebrows at me before walking over to her desk. She flipped through her planner and stopped on the appropriate week.

            "It doesn't look like it--"

            "My aunt is getting married that afternoon," I smiled when she looked at me. "Will you be my date?"

            She smiled and picked up a pen. I grinned as she wrote down, 'Kenshin, aunt's wedding' in cursive scrawl across the date.

            "Looks like I'm busy now," she giggled. "What should I wear?"

            "A little nicer than what you've got now," I shrugged. "I'm wearing a suit."

            "Sounds like fun," she put down the planner and walked over to me. "Good night. Be careful."

            "I will," I agreed. "Good night yourself."

            I hesitated for a moment, then leaned forward and kissed her forehead lightly. Okay, so it wasn't on the mouth, but I had good reasons. Even so, she actually looked disappointed.

            "I don't want to get you sick," I murmured, squeezing her hands before pulling back.

            "I'll risk it," she replied huskily. I tensed in surprise as her hands caught my face and pulled me forward.

            First date ever... First time ever kissing a girl... The night was full of firsts, and I liked it. I was floating away on cloud nine when Kaoru finally let go. It was part lack of breath, part something else, but I was lightheaded and content as could be.

            Kaoru giggled and brushed her fingers through my bangs. I looked at her uncertainly.

            "Tickles," she admitted.

            "Mmm," was about all I had the mind to say at the moment. "G'night."

            "Good night," she said again.

            I walked away, turning the wrong way before quickly discovering my mistake and going the other way to the stair well. I had always been something of a cynic when it came to this stuff, but I swear to god, that night as I walked down to the main lobby of Kaoru's dorm, my feet were not touching the ground. They did not meet the earth again until I reached the corner just down the street from Boynton Health Services.

            I hit the ground hard once I was aware enough to recognize what I was doing. Reality set in, and I picked up my pace, glancing around uneasily. I hated walking alone around Minneapolis late at night. My freshman year I was a bit more careless about that, but there had been a few strange disappearances earlier my sophomore year, and that was enough to make anyone leery. So I stuffed my hands into my pockets, put my head down, and walked as swiftly as I could manage toward the bridge.

            It was not the nicest way to end the night. Walking around the University campus at night was just damned creepy. Even through the well-lit enclosure, there was a slight echo, so every time I took a step, I felt like I was hearing someone else, following me. It was stupid, really, but it drove me outside, where there was no such echo. There were not as many lights out there, but I could see well enough. I grumbled to myself about what a wimp I could be and continued my path to the dorm.

            Once back, I took the elevator up to my floor. No one was about, thank god. Of course, it was a Friday night and people either went out or went home. It was not common to find students in the lounge on weekend evenings.

            I ducked into my room, dazed by the intimidating walk and still a little high off that kiss from earlier. I thought about that, letting myself remember what it was like to kiss Kaoru. It certainly was nicer than thinking about what a scary place Minneapolis could be.

            In my pajamas, I collapsed on the bed with a heavy sigh and stared at the ceiling. I recalled I had not taken my medication yet. In fact, I had not taken it in almost two weeks. There was so much other stuff in my system that I just didn't want to add anything else. I was lucky I had not had a fainting spell yet that week. Wouldn't that have been nice, blacking out in the middle of my date or on the walk back to the dorms? The thought of how vulnerable that would have made me was enough to make me shudder. I got up and retrieved the pills.

            Too exhausted to do much else, I turned on my radio, intending to set the sleep timer and return to bed. Sometime the previous month, the radio waves must have mysteriously changed because I didn't get the eighties station anymore. After that, all I got was the local light rock station. So, WLTE it was. Delilah was playing her sappy love and friendship songs until midnight, by which time I hoped to be sleeping soundly. I was fortunate it wasn't Saturday, though. Those days, they played all seventies music. While there were a few good songs from that decade, it was mostly disco rock, which was annoying as hell.

            Radio timer set, alarm enabled, I was set for bed. I wrapped my arms around my stuffed gorilla and sighed again. Pressing my face into the stuffed animal's furry side, I snickered softly. Strange, how one little date could make a person change. I was still giddy. I laughed again, hugging the gorilla tighter, and let Delilah's voice bore me to sleep... Soothe me to sleep. Right.

            Oh, I was chuckling again.

^_^

            Saturday morning started normally. I got up fairly early, dug through my closet for some clean clothes, and went to the bathroom to get ready. That was the nice thing about being a morning person. Almost nobody else was, so I usually got to the shower first without having to worry about anyone else banging on the door for their turn.

            The morning did not get unusual until I started brushing my teeth and noticed I was not alone in the bathroom. I had the water running and was bent over, brushing my teeth. After I did the usual rinse-and-spit routine, I lifted my head so I could put my toothbrush in its case, which was resting on the ledge in front of the mirror. I certainly did not expect to see a reflection other than my own there.

            "_Geez!_" I whipped around to face the intruder, fumbling for the towel that slid down from my shoulders. I stared into Chou's boldly grinning face. "Don't _do_ that!"

            He shrugged carelessly.

            "Get lucky?" he asked.

            "_Chou!_" I glared at him.

            "We want the details, kid," Chou replied. "Come on."

            "What--? Hold on!" I protested when he grabbed my arm and proceeded to pull me out of the bathroom. I pulled back, tossing my towel over the hook on the wall and trying to get my clothes. "Chou, I'm in my underwear!" Which was true. I was only wearing boxers, the rest of my clothes waiting until I was almost ready to leave the bathroom. I was leaving the bathroom at that moment, but Chou was not about to give me the opportunity to dress.

            "Very nice, by the way," he remarked, still yanking me out into the hallway. "Blue cotton--very boring."

            "Do you have to announce that?!" I hissed. "Chou, my clothes--!"

            I lunged back and snatched the clothing off the edge of the sink just before he pulled me out of the room. Resigning myself to walking in the open in nothing but a pair of boxers, I settled with making Chou go as fast as humanly possible. He seemed surprised when I shoved at him, urging him to his destination, wherever that was. He went into his room, pulling me right along.

            Not only was Kamatari there, but so was Sano, Aoshi, and--so help me--those four friends of Aoshi. Shikijou started laughing the instant he saw me. He explained his reasoning before I had the chance to glare at him for his audacity.

            "No wonder you're always wearing those baggy clothes!" he snorted. "Look at you! There's barely anything to you!"

            I might not have been as built as Shikijou, but I was fit. Short, granted, but certainly stronger than the average guy. I had the build of a runner--slender and almost lanky. My height did not allow for the typically gangly look of a dedicated runner, and he didn't have to make it sound like I was some skinny slip of nothing.

            "Just because I'm not a six foot seven weight lifter--" I started.

            I did not bother finishing that. Everyone else was laughing so hard, I doubted they would have heard me. Sano snorted, making everyone laugh harder. Kamatari's giggling stopped for a minute.

            "He's a bit of a lightweight," he declared, winking at me and grinning when I blushed and started pulling on my shirt. "Lighter now than two weeks ago. We're hoping he gains that weight back."

            He was referring to how much weight I had lost during my bout with the flu. I had probably dropped five to ten pounds, which brought me down to under a hundred pounds. Okay, so they were right. But it wasn't like I was anorexic or anything!

            "You're not going to hear anything about my date last night if you keep making fun of me," I snapped, hopping around a bit to pull on my jeans. They stopped laughing, immediately protesting.

            "Come on, kid!" Chou grinned. "We're just playing."

            Shikijou was snickering again, and it took me a minute to figure out why. My jeans were the relaxed fit, my shirt oversized and folding around me without much shape. I mentally smacked my forehead and glared at him.

            "Why are you guys so obsessed with my date?" I demanded, releasing my ponytail with one hand to jab my finger toward Aoshi's friends. "Why do _you_ guys care?! I barely _know_ any of you!"

            "Just because you don't know us," Hannya smiled. "We hear enough about you through Aoshi, Misao, and Kaoru. This is something we've all been anticipating for some time now."

            "You..." They hung out with Kaoru? I looked at him in surprise. "You talk with Kaoru?"

            "Actually, Hyottoko helped her with her preparations for last night," Beshimi snickered. My eyes went to Hyottoko, my incredulity probably plainly visible. Hyottoko flushed a bit under my scrutiny.

            "She wanted an opinion," he muttered. "And some help choosing earrings."

            Earrings? Kaoru had been wearing earrings?

            "We all went shopping with her and Misao," Hannya added. Shikijou nodded, a pained look on his face.

            "They made us wait and give opinions when she came out of the fitting rooms to show us the clothing," he sighed. "It was a painful experience. You _owe_ us."

            _I_ owed them!

            "Come on, Kenshin," Sano spoke up finally, his usual, roguish grin on his face. "Where'd you go?"

            "Chipotle," I muttered. Sano had already known that, and judging by the bland expressions of the others, so had they. "And then we went to her room."

            Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Kamatari's lewd smile. My face heated as I realized what that meant.

            "We played Trivial Pursuit!" I said quickly. "And then I walked back. That's it!"

            "That's _it?_" Chou seemed disappointed. "You mean you didn't get her into bed?"

            "_CHOU!_" I scowled at him. "No! I didn't even _think_ about that! It was only a first date!"

            "I've had a few of those," Hannya snorted. Aoshi nodded in silent agreement, as did Sano. Unlike Aoshi, Sano had something else to add.

            "Same here," he chuckled. "A few kisses, and a lot of girls don't mind taking it further... even on a first date."

            "Speaking of which," Kamatari murmured, looking up with a knowing smile. "Did you even do that?"

            "What? Kiss her?" I blinked. They were all looking at me expectantly, although some of them looked doubtful. "Uh..." My face must have been twenty degrees hotter than the rest of me.

            "Thank god," Sano sighed. "I'd have been really disappointed if you didn't even do that."

            I didn't respond, letting them take my silence however they wanted. They could believe I kissed Kaoru, which I did, but they did not need to know that she was the one who really instigated it. If I had not been sick all the past two weeks, I would have done it, so there was no need to make anyone think otherwise. 

            "Oh, it must have been good," Chou remarked.

            "Agreed," Beshimi snickered. "_I've_ never seen him grin like that."

            That made me blink and quickly stop smiling.

            "Aww... he stopped!" Kamatari giggled.

            "Shut up!" I grumbled, finally getting all my hair up into a ponytail that was not filled with impossible tangles. I let the hair fall, the wet strands slapping my back rather unpleasantly.

            "He's done his hair up nice," Kamatari continued. "Think he's going to see someone special?"

            "He's always got Saturday mornings with Kaoru," Sano smirked.

            "Shut _up!_" I said again, glancing at the clock. Damn it. I still had plenty of time left before I had to leave.

            "He keeps looking at the clock," Aoshi observed solemnly.

            "Anticipating when you go to make out with--I mean, to _meet_ Kaoru?" Shikijou teased.

            "No! I mean, yes!" That sounded awful. My face was never going to return to it's usual temperature if this kept up. "_Yes_, I want to meet her. _No_, I'm not going to go make out with her. As if it's any of your business anyway!"

            "Easy, Kenshin," Sano laughed. "We're just having fun. No one ever thought you'd ever actually date anyone."

            "Thanks for the vote of confidence," I complained. I still had a good twenty minutes before I really needed to get going. Sighing in resignation, I took up the empty spot on Kamatari's bed between him and Sano. "It really wasn't that exciting. We went to dinner, walked back to the dorms, and spent a couple hours playing board games. I had to leave, we kissed, and I came back. End of story." I gave Chou a pointed look, and he smirked.

            "And today?" Kamatari wondered.

            "We're going to lunch," I gestured to Beshimi, pointed at the tissue box behind his head, and nodded my thanks when he handed it to me. Picking up a tissue, I held it for a minute, muttering a complaint, "We usually work out, but she thinks I'm not well enough."

            From the amused glances of the men around me, I knew I didn't have much of a case. I blew my nose and sighed.

            "What's the big deal about _me_ dating, anyway?" I demanded. "What about _Aoshi_? Nobody ever asks _him_."

            "We do," Shikijou smirked. "We're waiting for the wedding announcements."

            Aoshi grimaced, and I glanced at him sympathetically. I made a mental note to request that he did not invite his friends over the next time I went on a date. They were worse than Sano and Chou. I had to admit it surprised me, but Kamatari was right up there with the lewd looks and comments, although his were more subtle. Of course, that tended to make them worse.

            For a few seconds, everyone was quiet. At the risk of sounding like I was changing the subject, I just kept my mouth shut. Fortunately for me, the guys decided they were finished interrogating me. Conversations slipped into various subjects, and I found myself caught up in a heated discussion with Kamatari over a report I was writing for psychology. I was partway through my argument when my eyes caught on the clock, and I gasped.

            "Oh no!" I scrambled off the bed. "I'm going to be late!"

            I tripped over Hyottoko's leg on the way out, only to have Hannya reach out and steady me. Muttering a thanks, I flew out of the room, ignoring the laughter behind me. Jerks.

^_^

            I took a chance and ran down the stairs to the bus stop. The buses don't run as often on the weekends, but I got lucky for once, reaching the curb just as the driver put the bus into gear and started pulling away. Even more lucky, the driver actually noticed me and, miracle of miracles, stopped. I climbed up the steps, thanking the guy, and sat down. It was not difficult to find a seat, as there were only three other people on the bus.

            There was a stop just across the street from Bruegger's, and I got off there. I was still late, but at least I did not have to sprint the entire way. The bus was faster, too.

            Kaoru was already there, sitting by the window and drinking from a bottle of chocolate milk. I smiled sheepishly and waved at her as I approached. She wasn't mad that I was late--she never was--and she smiled and stood to meet me.

            "Sorry," I said immediately, not at all displeased when she reached out to take my hand. "I lost track of time."

            "Typical," Kaoru smirked at me. Although it had started out strangely, the heavens must have been smiling on me that day because she tugged on my hand then. When I followed the motion, leaning toward her, she met me with a light kiss. I blinked in surprise, then sighed contentedly. I could get used to that. Kaoru giggled and reached up to tug on my bangs lightly. "I like your hair like this. You know... you don't look as girly with it up higher."

            "Really?" If that was the case, then I could certainly put the effort into doing my hair in the morning. Especially since Kaoru would kill me if I bypassed all the effort and just cut it. That wasn't what I said, though. The first words out of my mouth were something of the dopey type, "You like it up?"

            She laughed again and pulled me up to the order line. All the while, she kept holding my hand. Yes... I really could get used to this.

            "You busy this afternoon?" she asked.

            "Hmm?" I was off in what I decided was akin to what Misao liked to call her 'Happy Place.' Kaoru could have told me she taking up exotic dancing, and I probably would have responded the same way... Whoa... shortly after, I would probably be whacked for asking her where her next performance was.

            I found myself fighting a smirk and failing as I chuckled softly. Whooo, boy. Those erotic images needed to go if I was to survive this day. Kaoru looked at me curiously.

            "What's so funny?"

            I choked down another chuckle.

            "Nothing," I said quickly. "Just... Um... This afternoon?" Hurrah for the guy who could change the subject so smoothly. "No. I'm not doing anything."

            "Oh..." she smiled brightly. "Then would you like to hang out with me for a few hours?"

            "Sure." That was a no-brainer.

            "Good!" Kaoru squeezed my hand lightly. "I need to find a dress to wear to your aunt's wedding."

            I was flying, falling... crashing... Shopping? Damn it. I sighed and followed Kaoru to the counter. While she ordered, I studied my options, all the while silently whining about having been suckered into dress shopping.

^_^      

End Notes: Okay, the date wasn't very long, but I've had those two go out together before, and I couldn't imagine making this a whole lot different. Well… except the holding hands and kissing parts. Next chapter may be some time in coming, but I hope inspiration will strike, and that won't be the case. Anyway, please be patient, and I'll get it up as soon as I can.

And now… *drum roll* **Random Omake** (type stuff…)

**Kenshin**: *girly giggle* Kaoru kissed me!

**Sano**: *rolls eyes* Idiot.

Number 2! 

**Kenshin**: You like it up?

**Kaoru**: Yes. It's very sexy. But...

**Kenshin**: *frowning* But what?

**Kaoru**: A little adjustment. Give me a brush and a binder.

**Kenshin**: *confused, does as she asks* Um... what are you doing?

**Kaoru**: *fiddling with his hair* You'll see. Got a mirror?

**Kenshin**: *produces mirror out of thin air* What did--_Ack!_

**Kaoru**: *grins* I like it that way!

**Kenshin**: In a _bun?!_

**Kaoru**: Yep!

**Kenshin**: *defeated* You want it that way?

**Kaoru**: *singing a la Backstreet Boys* I want it that way!

**Kenshin**: *sigh*

**Sano**: Don't look at me. She's _your_ girlfriend.

**Megumi**: Sanosuke, honey? I've got it!

**Sano**: Eh?

**Megumi**: The polish I told you about. To help you with your nail biting.

**Sano**: The shit that tastes bad?

**Kenshin**: *snicker* Henpecked.

**Say again?**

**Kamatari**: *humming* Let me call you sweetheart! I'm in looooove wiiiiiith yoooouuuu!

**Kenshin**: *cringe* Odd, how that fits.

**Kamatari**: *still humming softly*

**Kenshin**: Oh, come on! Stop it!

I have Chibi Assassin to thank for that one. She started singing it randomly, and I had to groan at the way it sounded.

Paparazzi 

**Kenshin**: *dining* You know, Kaoru… I'm have a nice time and all, but…

**Kaoru**: *worried* But?

**Kenshin**: *points to weirdo with a camcorder* She's really creeping me out!

*snicker* Dedicated to Gypsy-chan, who amused me to no ends with her review.

To the Reviewers!

**Gemin16**: *shifty eyes* Yeah… I kind of liked _One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest_. Admittedly, fanfiction is more fun. Poor thing yourself. I hope you don't get the flu. It stinks.

**Chiki**: *blink* Easy Mac is macaroni & cheese… in a simple package. And their date most certainly was not cancelled! It was delayed. *nods importantly*

**omochi**: Kenshin: See! See?! I'm not the only one noticing I get sick all the time!

**Koneko-chan**: Screw up soup? Wow. Well I _do_ know someone who screwed up Easy Mac (to add insult to injury, she's done it 2 or 3 times). *snicker* I like that 'whatever it's going to be about' comment. I didn't think I was so unpredictable.

**Miyu Sakura**: Um… I don't even know where ACEN is, but actually, I'm going to *shifty eyes* Er… Anime Iowa. AI. Artificial intelligence. Wait… Anyway, it's little, rather inexpensive, and not so far for me to travel. About four hours driving. *hugs* Thanks for that last comment, though. I feel special now. (and now that I realized I responded to you twice, I'm moving the second response up.) Thank you for telling me that about Harvard. I'll see what I can do—I may go back and alter that a little for accuracy's sake. *clears throat* Um… what's a fag hag?

**Ryoko Subaru**: Freestyler? *smirk* Actually, I've made Enishi kind of mean here, but oh well. I don't really know him, since I haven't read all the manga.

**Fuuko-san**: Kenshin: I'm getting more daring, no?

Fitz: *pats Kenshin's head* Yes, honey, you are. Mm, and I had Kaoru's cooking stink way back during the Christmas chapters, so I had to hold true to that. And well… it's kind of funny that she can't cook, I think.

**marstanuki**: I can't do outright sap. I've tried, and then I read it, and I cringe when I see the results.

**Hana Himura**: I love your reviews… there's all this _stuff_ in it that's just so much fun to read. *blush* Did _I_ know? For god's sake! Uh… no. I had to go back and reread it to figure that out. Psychology, hm? Interesting, but I'll stick with math.

**MightyMightyMunson**: Flu? Yeah… taking from my own recent experiences. And I was wondering more on the actual author name, if it had any significance. Confrontation… if you could call it that. It will be a meeting, I suppose, with my own twist on it.

**izi-Chan**: You mean you put in too much water? At least that's better than not enough… or none. *snicker* Thanks for the review.

**Gochan**: Heh. Yes, well… he got his date, and Kaoru's going to the wedding with him. And I always love to write Kenshin's time with Kamatari, so you can expect more appearances there. *gorilla waves awkwardly* Oh, and the gorilla says hi.

**Calger459**: *wince* Sinus infections suck too. Dang it, I hate being sick.

**C-Chan, Eko, & Yuusuke**: More and more of you… And yes, the aunt is Tokio. And I'm sure you can figure out who the husband-to-be is. *snicker*

Kenshin: *moan* I can't believe you're making me related to _that man_.

**Gypsy-chan**: *points up* Heh. It just popped into my head when I read your review.

**NightRain**: Three cheers for passable grammar! I'm anal about that stuff, so when I make mistakes it annoys the heck out of me. Um… speaking of which, I noticed I wrote 'come one' instead of 'come _on_' in the last chapter response to you. *blushing uncontrollably* How terribly embarrassing.

**nekonomiko**: Cultural differences? Where are you from (general locale, that is… no need for specifics)? And I can't imagine Kaoru taking the idea of being banned from _anywhere_ well. ('cept maybe the men's bathroom)

**tesuka-chan**: I am the master of putting things off! Wait… that sounded bad.

Sano: *snort* Procrastination queen.

Shut up!

**Megami no Ushi**: *snicker* Now I really like the name. (Not that I didn't before, it was just fairly meaningless to me.)

Sano: Way to cover your butt.

Hush! I'll take that suggestion into consideration. And thanks, I am feeling a lot better.


	24. Meet Uncle SAITOU?

**Disclaimer**: Look! It's a widdle disclaimer! Isn't it _cute?!_

Little Disclaimer: *muttergrumble* Just 'cause I'm short… Feh. Fitz owns diddly squat. Serves her right, the b—

And now we return to our regularly scheduled fanfic.

**Notes**: Well! People liked the date. I should have predicted that. *waves a little 'K+K forever' flag*

Sano: Wait a minute… I thought you liked shounen ai too!

Fitz: _Shhhhhhh!_

Er… right. So now we've got the wedding. This, folks, is the beginning of the end. I don't really know how many chapters I'll add, but it certainly will be fewer than what I've already written. 

Oh, and I went back and pulled out that Harvard mistake in chapter 22. It's a rather minor change, but it did alter the conversation a tiny bit. Again, thanks for those who pointed that out.

**Warnings**: Definitely pushing the R rating in one scene here, but I couldn't justify changing the entire story for it. So… sexual themes, mentions of shounen ai, and the _Bird Song_.

Rurouni Kenshin cast dances by singing: I don't wanna be a chicken, I don't wanna be a duck…

Enough of that. Onward!

My Life

            I discovered who my uncle-to-be was. The name seemed familiar when I looked at it on the invitation. _Hajime Saitou_. Saitou... Memory brought up a tall, severe looking man who smoked. I tried to recall where I had seen him before, but it was awhile before that came to me.

            "Saitou?" Kaoru asked me while we drove from campus to Uncle Hiko's house. Our nice clothes--her dress and my suit--were dangling from the hook near the back door, our overnight bags on the back seat. She was spending Friday and Saturday nights at Uncle Hiko's house with me. Sunday we were going back. "Do you mean Professor Saitou? Head of the law department?"

            An image of him passing me a cigarette and lighting it for me flashed in my mind, and I groaned.

            "It's probably the same guy," I nodded. I wondered how Aunt Tokio would fall for a guy like that. She was meticulous about her health and eating habits, and she was engaged to a chain smoker? Not to mention I seemed to recall the man had been rather sarcastic and cold, which Aunt Tokio definitely was not. "I can't imagine there are a lot of Saitou's out there."

            Kaoru giggled and flipped on her turn signal. We exited from 94 and entered onto 52, which would take us to my house. Kaoru lived in Sunfish Lake, but I lived in West St. Paul, which was an older community and had not grown much in past years. On the flip side, I was within walking distance of Robert Street, where I could find stores from Target to Blockbuster and restaurants from Taco Bell to Red Lobster. I had a birthday party at the Circus Pizza (which some jerks had turned into a Chuck E Cheese) when I was six. I remembered that one because it was the last time my father was present for my birthday.

            "Take Thompson and turn right," I offered.

            "Right," Kaoru smiled and did as I directed. "I don't know... It could be to your advantage to have a University professor in your family. He could help you with your homework--"

            "We'll see," I smirked. "Next street, turn right."

^_^

            To my great shock, Uncle Hiko took us out to dinner Friday night. He even paid for it. It was not the nicest restaurant, but Angelo's had great pizza, even if the place was dark and kind of smoky. Of course, it might have just been Uncle Hiko's method of digging into my life and embarrassing me in front of Kaoru.

            "Sooooo, Kaoru," Uncle Hiko smirked across the table at us, his gaze shifting to the girl beside me. "You and the brat... you're dating?"

            This was going to be bad. I couldn't even hide behind a slice of pizza because we had only recently ordered. So I just sat there, fiddling with my napkin. It was an art--mutilating napkins--and very therapeutic. I could concentrate on trying to keep my cool and not blushing while I twisted and wrung the papery thing.

            Kaoru, contrary to how I reacted, took things in stride. She smiled and sipped her iced tea.

            "Yes, we are, Mr. Hiko," she nodded, putting the glass back on the paper coaster.

            "If you'll excuse my prying," Uncle Hiko continued. I was thinking: _Yeah, right._ "The kid hasn't told me anything. Have you been dating long? I know you two have been friends for some time."

            "One date," Kaoru replied easily. "Kenshin took me out last Friday."

            Oh god. The napkin started shredding. I stared out into the little restaurant. The only other people in there were the employees and some of their friends. They sat at the tables by the hall where the bathrooms were and laughed over their cigarettes. I had only been to Angelo's on one occasion when those people were not sitting there.

            "We went to Chipotle," Kaoru was explaining. "We had a really nice time."

            The conversation turned semi-serious at that point, and I wanted to sink down into the floor. My napkin was coming apart, little white fibers falling on the tabletop.

            "I hope you know what you're getting yourself into by dating him," Uncle Hiko said. "Long-term relationships are not his thing."

            I had this urge to jump up and down, waving my arms, shouting, '_Hello! I'm sitting right here!_' Did the man not realize he was talking about me in the third person while I was sitting less than three feet away from him?

            "I know that, Mr. Hiko," Kaoru murmured, her voice softer. I fought the urge to groan and declare that my uncle was about to ruin one of the few good things that had happened to me in the past five years. "We've been working on it."

            "He's had some problems," Uncle Hiko insisted. "Has he told you about them?"

            For god's sake--!

            "Yes, Mr. Hiko," Kaoru sighed. "I do believe I know of most of them."

            Wait a minute... _most_? What did she think I was? Like I was one big mess or something. At that point in my life, my only problems were finishing my homework on time and passing the midterms.

            "Good," Uncle Hiko tapped his fingers on the table. It always took awhile for the pizza to come, and he was not a patient man. "Then there's no problem. Frankly, I'm relieved he's started dating. I was beginning to think he was gay."

            I glared at him, and Kaoru giggled.

            "He gets that a lot," she said. I blinked as she reached over suddenly and curled her fingers around mine, pulling me away from the mess of paper fibers that had once been a napkin. I sighed, ignoring the glance Uncle Hiko sent me when she pulled my hand into her lap and held it there with both of hers. Kaoru smiled at me, and there was this feeling of melting, and had we not been in public and in front of my uncle, I might have kissed her. All the while, I was thinking, _Thank you, God_, and I smiled back at her.

            "Here's the pizza," Uncle Hiko said abruptly, and we looked up as a woman pushed a big pan in front of us. It was a welcome distraction on Uncle Hiko's part, I was sure. He certainly seemed relieved.

            "So, Mr. Hiko," Kaoru smiled sweetly at him, releasing my hand so we could eat. "What do you do?"

            "Hmm?" Uncle Hiko lifted his eyebrows in surprise, pausing before he bit into his pizza. "I'm a consultant."

            "What kind of consultant?"

            That was something even I did not know. I had lived with the man for nearly fourteen years, and I had no idea what he did for a living. Not that I really cared.

            "Uh..." Hold on. Was he... _blushing_? _My_ uncle? Flustered? Impossible. Yet, there he sat, picking at the sausage on his pizza, eyes not lifting to meet Kaoru's curious gaze. "Design," he said abruptly.

            "Design?" Kaoru pressed. I couldn't tell if she was honestly interested or was enjoying the man's embarrassment. I, of course, lived for the latter of the two. "Like interior design?"

            "Yes," Uncle Hiko sighed.

            I didn't see what bothered him about that. It seemed to be an interesting profession. However, I was not complaining. I enjoyed seeing him so disjointed.

            Kaoru smiled brightly.

            "Wow!" she giggled. "You never struck me as the artsy type, Mr. Hiko."

            I nearly spat out my pop. As it was, I could not stop laughing. Kaoru looked at me in confusion, and Uncle Hiko glared at me for all he was worth. She did not realize it, but Kaoru had just used what I had come to consider 'Sano's term.' Sano called Katsu and Kamatari 'artsy.'

            "What's so funny?" Kaoru wondered, after I had calmed down enough. I had laughed myself into a fit of hiccups. I coughed and hiccupped again, trying to recover.

            "Serves you right, little brat," Uncle Hiko muttered. I had to snicker again, upon which occasion I promptly choked on another hiccup. Kaoru patted my back and nudged my pop toward me in concern.

            "N-nothing," I said finally, reaching for a slice of pizza. "Nothing at all."

            Uncle Hiko scowled at me, then spent the rest of the night ignoring me completely. We finished dinner and went home, where Uncle Hiko made me get out new sheets and remake the guest bed for Kaoru. He kept her busy in the kitchen doing something, or she probably would have come to help me. The jerk. He was probably paying me back for laughing at him.

^_^

            I did not know which was more difficult: tying a tie, or keeping from pacing while my girlfriend was getting dressed in the room just down the hall. Keeping such thoughts from my mind was nearly impossible as of late. When we were not dating, it had been easier, but now that we were officially a 'couple' those things caught up with me.

            Actually, it was not as bad as some people--not to give names, but their initials are Chou Sawagejou and Sanosuke Sagara--might have thought. I did not have the urge to drag Kaoru off to bed whenever I saw her, nor did I ever have the need to shove my hands into my pockets to prevent embarrassment while we were together. In fact, the thought of... more intimate activities (God, I couldn't even think the word!) was enough to make me uncomfortable. Holding hands was fine. Hugging was nice. Kissing? Very nice. But _that_? Knowing me, I'd get there and mess it up completely.

            "For god's sake!" I growled, dropping the two ends of the tie as I finished--not for the first time--with the skinny side dangling far below the wider front. I didn't even bother glancing to Uncle Hiko for help. He wore a clip-on, and I knew for a fact he couldn't make a clean knot to save his life. Odd, considering he was so coordinated when it came to everything else.

            "Having problems?"

            I glanced up, then grinned. Lord, but I was a lucky bastard. Not only did I get a girlfriend who put up with my cynicism and awkwardness, but she was also a knockout in cocktail wear. The dress was black and stopped just below her knees. It was sleeveless and cut down in a pretty deep V in front. The fabric was some sort of knit that clung to any curve she had. All in all, rather plain, but it was a sexy little thing. She did her hair up in some kind of twist and put on eye shadow and some shiny lip stuff.

            Kaoru smiled and reached toward me, shifting the tie around my neck and folding it over expertly. Tolerant, good-looking, _and_ she could fix my tie.

            "Judging by the drool on your chin, I don't look half bad," Kaoru observed, tightening the tie in a few jerky movements. She smiled slyly. "Of course, you haven't eaten for hours."

            "I like the dress," I murmured in agreement.

            "You picked it out," she reminded me. "Your only problem now is that I'm wearing heels."

            I glanced at the shoes she had placed by the door and wrinkled my nose at the two-inch heel on them. Kaoru was shorter than I was, to be sure, but only by a centimeter or so. In those shoes, she would definitely be the taller of us. Oh well. It was not such a big deal, really. The height difference would not be so huge--and she could take those shoes off if we danced.

            "We're riding with your uncle?" Kaoru asked as she tucked the tie into my vest. She batted my hands away and took up the task of buttoning the vest and jacket herself. That accomplished, she smoothed down my lapel and smiled at me again. "Or are you going to make me drive?"

            "I wouldn't dream of making you do anything," I retorted.

            "Darn right, you wouldn't!" she giggled, then rewarded me by kissing me briefly. I smiled and turned to find Uncle Hiko, but she stopped me.

            "What?" I glanced at her curiously, then startled a bit when she dragged her thumb over my lips a few times.

            "You looked like you had on lip gloss," she explained, then shooed me out of the room.

            "Uncle Hiko! Are you ready yet?" I called. I found him in the kitchen, jotting down something on a piece of paper. He tucked it into his pocket and put the pen in the drawer.

            "Hold on, hold on," he muttered, shutting the drawer, then patting his pockets as if searching for something. After a few seconds, he seemed satisfied, and he took the keys off the hook and smirked at me. "Let's not keep the woman waiting."

^_^

            I did not play any special role in the wedding, not that this was a bad thing. That left me free to sit with Kaoru and, I was sorry to say, my uncle. He had grinned at us when he sat down next to me and muttered something about the two of us making out in church. Kaoru blushed at his comment, and I glared at him. He snorted and proceeded to ignore us, instead choosing to silently admire our surroundings.

            Actually, the wedding was not in a church, but at the old train depot in St. Paul. The train had not run through the place since the sixties or seventies, and it had been converted into offices and restaurants. Behind us was some Chinese restaurant, while the both the wedding and the reception were being held in this posh place.

            It really was nice. We sat in fold-up chairs, but the restaurant was decorated with white, draping gauze and clear twinkle lights. They had put up candle stands everywhere, and the tables were set and waiting for the guests to eat.

            Aunt Tokio was Lutheran, but Professor Saitou did not practice any religion, so that was why they had chosen such a place for the wedding. I was not sure what to think when I saw the man standing at the front of the aisle, looking old and severe. He could not have been much older than thirty-five, but he looked at least forty. Aunt Tokio was a pretty woman with dark brown hair and hazel eyes who could pass for under thirty even though she was nearing the big four-oh. I still did not understand how a woman like that would go for a guy like him.

            "What's wrong?" Kaoru's soft question startled me, halfway through the ceremony, and I glanced at her in confusion. She frowned. "You sighed."

            "Bored," I whispered in return, and she giggled, swatting my leg before looking back to the front. Uncle Hiko must have heard me, because I suddenly had to bite my lip against a pained grunt when he dug his elbow into my ribs. I couldn't even retaliate. It was the middle of the wedding, and it would have been rude. So I bit my tongue against my irritated retorts and scooted my chair over slightly, away from him. Unfortunately, Kaoru's chair prevented mine from moving more than a few inches, so I huddled against her and tried not to glower at my uncle. She was amused, but she accepted what I did and linked her fingers through mine. Well... it did make the position look more plausible, despite the fact that my motives had not involved intimacy.

^_^

            The ceremony ended as they tended to do, and I followed the rest of the guests through the line to greet the happy couple. Aunt Tokio smiled when she saw me.

            "Kenshin, dear," she murmured, taking my hands when I mimicked Uncle Hiko's greeting. But she was not satisfied with shaking my hand, and I found myself with my face pressed into the shoulder of her very lacey, very beaded dress. I prayed I wouldn't get stuck. "It's so nice to see you. You look so handsome."

            "Uh... thank you, Aunt Tokio," I mumbled, awkwardly returning the hug. "You look really--" _White. Fluffy._ "Beautiful. Congratulations."

            "Thank you, dear," she let me go, and I managed to pull away without getting too scratched up from all those sequins. I glanced up at her new husband, a bit uneasy. Aunt Tokio introduced us, "You've met Hajime before, haven't you, Kenshin?" She laughed softly. "I guess that's _Uncle_ Hajime now."

            _No way in hell._ I managed a smile and offered my hand. So help me, if the guy tried to hug me...

            He didn't. He just smirked, much like Uncle Hiko always did, and shook my hand firmly. He did, however, pull me forward rather abruptly so that I nearly hit his chest, and he leaned down to put his face next to my ear.

            "Tell her I gave you a cigarette, and we will be at odds, boy," he muttered, then released my hand and stepped back. I stared up at him, startled and somewhat amused.

            "What was that all about?" Aunt Tokio wondered with a pleased smile.

            "Just offering him some advice," Saitou said with a quick, rather bemused smile.

            "And who is this?" Aunt Tokio turned toward Kaoru then, cutting off the conversation.

            "This is Kaoru Kamiya," I explained, and Kaoru offered her hand with a gracious smile.

            "She's your girlfriend?" the woman seemed inordinately pleased by the thought.

            "I like to think that Kenshin is _my_ boyfriend," Kaoru interjected boldly. I looked at her in surprise. Geez... that was kind of possessive of her. I had to struggle not to smirk. "You were beautiful. Congratulations..." she glanced at Saitou. "To the both of you."

            She shook Saitou's hand, and we escaped to the table where Kaoru signed our names in the guest log. We walked up a short flight of stairs to the tables, where there appeared to be no remaining seats. We would have to go to the main floor. It was not a huge deal, really. Most of the tables on the platform were reserved for closer relatives and friends anyway. I rarely saw my aunt, and I had exchanged only a couple dozen words with Saitou.

            "Hey, Kenshin!"

            I jumped at the familiar voice, reflexively clenching my hands into fists. Kaoru released a soft, pained yelp, and I yanked my hand away from hers. She rubbed her fingers gingerly, but I forgot about her for a minute as my gaze settled on the tall figure approaching us.

            He looked the same as he had three years ago. His hair was short and choppy, the bleached strands forced to stand away from his skull with a lot of hair mousse. It was a stark contrast to his dark brown eyes and tanned skin. Had he been in a tee shirt and shorts, he could have passed for some stereotypical California surfer. As it was, he looked massive in his suit--the clothing making him appear more broad-shouldered than usual. I knew him to be a weight lifter and an avid follower of some Chinese martial arts, and that just made him all that much more intimidating.

            "Enishi..." I greeted, my voice probably too low and strained for him to hear.

            I hit something, and Kaoru caught me before I could trip over her. Enishi's grin seemed to grow wider, and I realized I had been caught trying to back away from him. I froze up like a deer caught in a hunter's spotlight.

            "It's been awhile," Enishi said when he finally reached us, clapping a hand down on my shoulder. "You're looking good, kid. You clean up nice." The double meaning behind that sentence was not lost on me, and I struggled to respond. My voice was lost somewhere between my churning stomach, my pounding heart, and the bile in my throat. I swallowed, trying not to wince when I did. Enishi was not bothered by my silence, looking beyond me. "Who's this? A lovely young woman on your arm, Kenshin? The gods have been treating you kindly."

            I shifted abruptly, this time purposely pushing back into Kaoru, forcing her to step away or clutch my shoulders to keep from toppling. As I had hoped, she did the latter, which kept her square behind me and away from Enishi.

            "There's a couple spots open at our table," he continued. "Come join us. It's been too long."

            "Th-that would be--"

            "I really wanted to sit next to your uncle, Kenshin," Kaoru spoke up suddenly, her fingers tightening around my arms as she pulled back a step. "Remember? He was going to tell us that story. From when you were little."

            "Uh..." I would have been willing to listen to Uncle Hiko recount every embarrassing thing I had ever done if doing so would have gotten me away from Enishi. "Right... Sorry, um... Enishi," I stammered my way through the excuse, following Kaoru across the platform and down the opposite stair. "Maybe... maybe another time." Yeah... like when hell froze over.

            Kaoru wrapped her arms around one of mine, pulling me toward the table where Uncle Hiko was already seated. He had his eyes focused on something behind us, and I did not doubt it was my cousin he was watching. I let out a shaky breath, sinking into the chair next to Kaoru.

            "That was Enishi?" she asked quietly.

            "Hn," Uncle Hiko snorted. "Still as cocky as ever. I can't stand that brat."

            "Well, he's stuck up there for awhile," Kaoru pointed out, resting a hand on my shoulder as I struggled to settle my nerves. "He'll probably have to give a toast, and he won't be going anywhere until dinner is cleared."

            I nodded, grateful for her words but unable to give her the appropriate smile. Her eyes darkened a bit with concern, but I just shook my head and looked down at the tablecloth. There were glasses and silverware and complimentary chocolates on the table, the food tables being set up as we waited. The rich odors drifting through the room made me ill to my stomach, and I reached for the decanter. Uncle Hiko got to it before I could and poured water for all three of us.

            "Kenshin?" Kaoru took a glass from Uncle Hiko and handed it to me. "You okay?"

            "Yeah," I muttered, probably a little too quickly. I offered a strained smile and lifted the glass to my lips. Yeah, I was fine for the moment. Kaoru was right. Enishi would not be leaving that table for some time. Even so... he _would_ be leaving that table before the night ended.

            I glanced up to the diners at the tables on the platform, my gaze relentlessly drawn to the light-haired man at the bride's table. This was going to be a long night.

^_^

            Dinner went smoothly. Being as we were sitting on the main floor and not the almighty platform, we were some of the last guests to be allowed to get food. Such the pity, but the guests at the bride's table had their food brought to them. The rest of us had to walk through a buffet line. Kaoru and Uncle Hiko piled the food onto their plates, making me feel a little silly with minimal portions on mine. I picked at it anyway, my stomach informing me that I would be foolish to try more than the bread and potatoes.

            Uncle Hiko went to the bar to get himself a drink and brought us back some as well. Kaoru got something that looked suspiciously like red wine, and I got Sprite. Fair enough. It did help calm the butterflies in my stomach, and I was still banned from alcohol, even with adult supervision.

            Enishi made his toast while they handed around dessert. The cutting of the wedding cake was supposed to be one of those things where the bride and groom fed each other the first pieces, but they must have decided against it. It really was too bad. I would have liked seeing Saitou with cake smushed all over his face--I couldn't picture it otherwise. Whatever their reasons for doing it, the cake was passed around to the guests. It had some weird raspberry layer in it, and the slices were those thin ones, as if it had been cut off a loaf of bread rather than a flat cake. I gave my piece to the kid sitting next to me.

            "May I have your attention, please?" Enishi's deep voice carried easily over the din of the guests' chatter. We all looked up to see him holding up his wine glass, the sleeve of his white suit jacket standing out against a sea of black dresses and formal wear. Having gotten our attention, Enishi lowered his arm and smiled at no one in particular. "As the bride's son, it is my duty--no--" he smirked. "My _pleasure_ to offer the first toast to the newlyweds."

            I rolled my eyes at his clichéd opening. Kaoru must have noticed because she giggled softly beside me.

            "Behave yourself," she whispered.

            "Hn," I grunted.

            "As many of you know, I am the bride's adoptive son, Enishi," he continued. "She took me in when I was thirteen, which is not a common occurrence. Most kids resign themselves to a life in foster homes after the age of five." Some of the guests murmured, probably feeling sorry for the bastard. "Tokio is a wonderful woman, who has offered me a happy life. Now, she's taking her turn for happiness."

            I bit my lip, trying to hold in my cynicism. It was not easy, when the thoughts going through my head were, _Excuse me while I go barf in the bathroom._ Kaoru grabbed my hand and squeezed it, as if that would deter me from such thoughts.

            "So, Mom," Enishi held up his glass again, tilting it toward each person as he addressed them. "Hajime. I can't think of anyone who deserves this more. A happy life to my mother and the bastard... Um... and Hajime." He winked at the man. "Sorry, man."

            "I'm sure," Saitou replied dryly, lifting his own glass as Enishi threw back a swallow of his wine. The rest of the guests did the same, and Enishi sat down. There were a few more toasts, and they started to sound alike after awhile. I tuned them out and concentrated on unwrapping the little chocolates on the table in front of me.

            As dinner ended, the caterers moved in and took the buffet tables away. While they were busy with that, the DJ's set up their own table and started sorting through their music. The first dance was supposedly meant to be the Father-Daughter dance, but since Aunt Tokio's parents had both passed away some time ago, they skipped straight to the first dance of the bride and groom.

            The DJ played a Shania Twain song. _From This Moment On_, if I was not mistaken. I had heard it before, but this was a duet version, and I did seem to recall hearing a man singing half the lines all the times when it was playing on the radio. It was one of those 'perfect for the moment' sappy songs. Aunt Tokio and Saitou kind-of danced to it in the middle of the floor, really just swaying back and forth. He did not seem to be the dancing type, and I imagined he would not be gracing the dance floor again.

            Everyone clapped politely when they were finished, and Saitou escaped back to his table. Aunt Tokio stayed out on the floor for awhile, smiling at a little boy who held up his hands to dance with her. Kaoru cooed softly beside me, charmed by the sight of my aunt dancing with a five-year-old. I didn't think it was such a big deal. I recalled doing the same thing at her first wedding, only I had been eight, and Tomoe had given me a dollar told me to give it to the man collecting the money. I later learned this to be the 'dollar dance' where a person could dance with the bride or groom for a dollar. Saitou wasn't dancing, so there would be no dollar dance this time.

            The songs were mostly older ones, although they made us listen to some more recent pop songs. Kaoru dragged me away from our table a little later and made me dance to _Those Magic Changes_. I never had been much of a dancer, so Kaoru was doing most of the leading while I tried not to look like too much of an idiot.

            I did draw the line at _Love Shack_. Kaoru laughed and let me sit that one out. After that, we joined the group for a few more songs. We were even blessed with a slow song, which I did not recognize, and I got to have Kaoru wrap her arms around my neck and lean against me. She rested her chin on my shoulder and sighed.

            "Hmmm," she moaned softly. "I hate this song."

            I had to chuckle at that, tilting my head slightly in attempt to look at her. She was a little too close for that, but I did not want to pull back, so I tolerated it. Her fingers were at my neck, fiddling with the little hairs that just would not go into a ponytail, and I shivered at the sensation. She giggled.

            "Like that?" she wondered.

            Like it? I could have curled up and started purring. My bliss was short-lived, though. I felt a tap on my shoulder, and it was not Kaoru.

            Anger rose in me when I turned to see Enishi's familiar bright grin shining down at me. I frowned at him, not at all pleased by the interruption.

            "May I cut in?" he asked.

            "No," I shot back immediately. He seemed surprised at my sharp response, but it disappeared quickly, and he held his hands out in conciliation.

            "My mistake," he murmured, still grinning. "Perhaps later."

            I watched him leave, heading toward the bar. Kaoru's hand was still on my shoulder, and she squeezed lightly, making me look at her. She had a strange little smile on her face.

            "Look at you, puppy," she said, pulling me back into the position of before. I muttered under my breath and tried to relax again. "Barking to scare away the other dogs."

            "Are you calling me a dog?" I snorted.

            "No, I called you a puppy," she replied easily.

            I was not sure how to take that. Not a dog, but merely a dog-in-training. That was rather insulting, I thought, but I let it pass.

            "Relax, Kenshin," Kaoru stopped dancing abruptly as the song ended. She pulled back and smiled at me. I blinked as she tapped my nose lightly. "Today is a happy one."

            Kaoru was a romantic at heart. It was a miracle we were able to tolerate each other at all.

            "Let's go sit for awhile," she suggested. "And you can stand nearby and defend your territory."

            "What?" I blurted, stumbling a bit as she pulled me back to the table. What kind of analogy was _that_? I didn't like Enishi trying to cut in, so suddenly I was a defensive hound? Geez. I wasn't that bad. If it had been anybody else, I probably would have backed down--although I would not have been happy about it--so I wasn't just some dog--

            "You're so cute when you're irritated," Kaoru announced suddenly, cutting off my train of thoughts. I was surprised to the point that I didn't even respond to the brief kiss she gave me before shoving me back into my chair. She picked up her glass and sat next to me, offering a big smile. "Smile, Kenshin. It's not that bad."

            I sighed and tried to smile back at her. She was right. It really was not that bad. The night would end soon enough, and we could go back to our normal lives. And as long as we were in this public place, Enishi could not do anything more than smile at me from across the room. I nodded and picked up my pop.

            "Thanks, Kaoru."

            She glanced at me, a startled expression on her face. I felt no need to explain myself, and I looked back to the dancers on the floor. They were looking pretty ridiculous with their arms up in the air, singing along with the YMCA song. Luck was with me if Kaoru chose to rest at that point. I hated dancing along to the Village People.

^_^

            Enishi did get his dance, although I had tried to protest. Kaoru knew me too well, it seemed, because she had her hand on my arm before I could open my mouth. She just smiled at me and let Enishi lead her away by the hand.

            She must have had her reasons for dancing with him, but I could not help feeling a little betrayed. My teeth were clenched to the point that I could hear them grinding. Uncle Hiko must have heard it, too.

            "Settle down, brat," he grunted, sipping his wine calmly. "We've got another hour at least before we can leave."

            I twisted the cloth napkin in my lap, glaring out at Kaoru and Enishi. Of all people, why _him_? They seemed to be having fun, dancing to _Electric Avenue_ with the other guests. Kaoru was laughing at something Enishi said, which just irritated me more.

            Trying not to growl aloud, I decided to ignore them. Huffing softly, I looked over to the side, where some people were walking to the neighboring restaurant. They were dressed in street clothes, and they looked at the group curiously. Then, they forgot the wedding and went into the Chinese dining place. I envied them.

            Kaoru didn't come back when the song ended. A chipper, upbeat song started, and I rolled my eyes. What was a wedding without the _Bird Song_? The guests laughed and cheered, making their hands 'chirp' and flapping their arms around in accordance to the dance. The song was drawing to a close, but I could not handle it anymore, seeing Kaoru and Enishi out there, laughing and dancing around. I decided that was as good a time as any to answer the call of nature.

            Of course, finding the bathroom was a process in and of itself. It turned out to be tucked in the back of a hallway, which was way off to the side of an adjacent room. There was a lineup outside the women's bathroom, and I learned the reason for that before I had the chance to push open the door to the men's room.

            "You might be waiting awhile," a lady said as she walked out of the bathroom. "Only one of the stalls locks."

            Sounded like a high-class place. I discovered what that meant when I went into the men's room. I grimaced at the dingy-looking place. It was set up so that I actually had to go into a stall. That was nice for privacy but unusual. It looked old, the tiles in the floor chipping and loose. The fluorescent lighting did nothing to help, washing out all the beige paint into a sickly yellow-white. My face was shockingly pale in the cracked mirror, no thanks to that lighting. Of course, I was not trying to impress anyone in the bathroom.

            Unlike the other bathroom, the men's room was empty but for me. That was one of the joys of being male. I never had to wait in line to use a toilet. I was not alone for long, but when the door opened, only one guy walked in. This was unlike the women's room, where it seemed that they all went in pairs if not groups. No wonder they clogged the bathrooms.

            "Hey, Kenshin."

            The faucet slipped away from my fingers, snapping back into place, the water flow stopping. I looked up to see the much unwanted reflection behind mine in the mirror. He did it on purpose. There was absolutely no possible way Enishi could have just chanced into the bathroom at the same time I was.

            "Enishi," I greeted coldly.

            "We never got a chance to talk," Enishi came up beside me, turning and leaning back against the counter. I tore my gaze away from him and forced my concentration back onto washing the soap from my hands.

            "A pity, that," I muttered.

            "How have you been?" he wondered casually.

            "Great," I replied icily. "Happy."

            "That's good," he chuckled. "Really good. Nice girl you've got there."

            "Stay away from her."

            He held up his hands, smiling broadly.

            "I get it," he smirked at me when I met his smile with a glare. "Your girl. I wouldn't dream of trying to court her. Anyway, I'm glad to see you in good health. I heard you had a run in with Jensen."

            "Jensen?" I asked uneasily. I had no idea who Jensen was.

            "Tall guy," Enishi offered. "Brown eyes, dark hair."

            "You're not providing a narrow field of men," I pointed out. I would have had to reach past him to get a paper towel, so I just stood with my hands dripping to my sides. Yes, he intimidated me that much.

            "I'd think you'd remember a man you bludgeoned with a lamp," Enishi snorted. He pushed away from the counter before I could react, turning and slinging his arm about my shoulders. I tensed, letting him do this but ready to push away if he tried anything. "Rough luck, that. He's kind of rough when he's drunk. Hey, you do that after he screwed you into the bed or before he had a chance to get past second base?"

            My cheeks were flushed so red that even the glaring lights could not hide my humiliation. I pressed my lips together and tried to ignore him, leaning across him toward the paper towel dispenser. His hand tightened on my shoulder, pressing me closer to his side. I looked up in surprise, not having expected that.

            "I guess it's hard to blame a guy for that," Enishi murmured. He was staring through me, as if his mind was someplace else. "Loneliness can get the best of anyone, you know. And when faced with someone who not only seems an easy target, but has looks like yours..."

            I balked at the hand that touched my face, jerking back against his arm in protest.

            "Enishi--" I growled.

            "I liked it better when you kept your hair down," he cut me off, his hand moving up to tug at my bangs. I did not bother trying to push his hand away, instead focusing all my energy on not flinching. I stared at the water faucet, water dripping slowly from it into the sink. Somehow, though I couldn't figure out this talent, Enishi could make a person feel worthless. He did it to me in the past, and he was doing it again. I think he liked making people squirm--making them feel like nothing more than the trash on the street.

            "Let go." I had intended that to be a firm order, but it came out sounding like I was pleading with him. I clenched my hands into fists and tensed up under his grip, ready to lash out if he continued with this.

            "You know what we haven't discussed for quite some time?" Enishi ignored my order completely. "Your payment plan."

            _Shit._

            "Enishi, stop it." I knew where this was leading. If one wanted to go into technicalities, I did owe Enishi quite a bit of money--money I did not currently possess.

            "Now, you're my cousin, so I've been generous," Enishi continued. "But I can only stretch my resources so far, you know. I have bills to pay, things to keep up with. And when someone doesn't pay me on time, I suffer."

            The hell he did. Even so, I was suddenly grateful I had already gone to the bathroom. Not that he scared me quite that much, but any discomfort on that level would have made the encounter unbearable.

            "I don't have any money," I told him, willing that arm around my shoulders to relax. The opposite happened, actually. His grip tightened to the point where I was having trouble breathing, my arms trapped against my sides. My chest hurt with how my heart was pounding. I tried to calm my breathing and closed my eyes as he tilted his head to put his mouth near my ear.

            "There are many methods of paying a debt," he murmured.

            Then, he let go. Just like that, he dropped his arm and patted my shoulder lightly.

            "Don't be a stranger, Kenshin," he said, smiling broadly. "I missed our weekly exchanges."

            Weekly exchanges was right. I didn't miss it at all. I shuddered as he left the bathroom, resisting the urge to hug my arms over my chest against the sudden chill. I hated him. No one else had ever made me feel so disgusted with myself. No one else could terrify me like he did.

            My legs were threatening to give out when I went back into the stall. I stared down at the toilet, praying I wouldn't get sick.

            I knew I was in trouble. Enishi's threat had been all too clear. Yet there was nothing I could do. There weren't any witnesses to his behavior, so it was his word against mine. Not only that, but I had a record, and he didn't. My opportunity to reveal him had come, and I had chickened out. It was years too late, and he was probably more cautious than ever. I knew what he was, but he knew of my knowledge, and he acted accordingly. No way was he stupid enough to let some college kid send him to jail.

            _What am I going to do? Better yet... what is _he_ going to do?_

            I did get sick. Humiliated beyond belief, all I could do was be grateful no one else was there to hear it. Weak and shaking, I went back to the sink and washed my hands again. I managed to get the worst of the bitter flavor out of my mouth, and I took a few deep breaths, composing myself. Uncle Hiko would figure it out all too quickly if I did not pull this off. Kaoru, too.

            In the end, I guess I just hoped Enishi would not have the resources to back up his threat. If he couldn't find me, then there was no way he could do anything. Even if he knew where I was staying, I was almost always surrounded by people. I resolved not to walk across campus alone at night anymore.

            Emboldened by these thoughts, I decided I was ready to face the party. It had been at least twenty minutes since I left the table, and Kaoru and Uncle Hiko were probably beginning to wonder if I had fallen in or something.

            Kaoru looked up and smiled when I returned to the table.

            "Where were you?" she wondered.

            "Bathroom," I shrugged. "Took a roundabout way to find it."

            Amazing how simple it was to slip back into the habit of lying. I didn't like it. For so long I had been confident enough to be truthful about almost everything. I didn't know why I couldn't admit to this. Maybe I really was just a pathetic chickenshit like Sano said.

            "You missed the _Electric Slide_," she said, as if this was the greatest tragedy there could be.

            "Pity," I murmured. Kaoru stuck her tongue out at me, and I smiled weakly, reclaiming my chair next to her. She looked at me oddly.

            "Are you okay?" she asked. I knew I couldn't fool her.

            "I don't feel that great," I sighed. That was true, to some extent.

            "Do you want to leave?"

            _More than anything_.

            "No, I'm okay."

            She frowned at me worriedly but let it drop. I didn't see Enishi the rest of the night. Someone said he and some of the groomsmen went out for some cigars or the likes. Whatever he was doing was fine with me as long as I didn't have to see him again.

            Not too much later, Uncle Hiko announced we were leaving. The hour had gotten to the point where it was socially polite to exit. We found Aunt Tokio, bid her good night, and left. It was not overly far from the depot to Uncle Hiko's house, but I found I could not keep my eyes open for the trip. Kaoru said she didn't mind, though, so I put off any conversation and dozed all the way home.

^_^

End Notes: Phew. Happy/dark chapter.

Kenshin: *reads over chapter* This line, Fitz-dono: At that point in my life, my only problems were finishing my homework on time and passing the midterms… You're making me eat my words. I _hate_ it when people do that!

Well… what's a story without conflict?

Kenshin: I have conflict! What's wrong with deciding what to wear being my only conflict?!

Right, so check out the omakes below. Lighten things up a bit.

Random Omake!: Trip to the zoo 

**Kenshin**: *hugging his aunt* You look really... er... white and fluffy.

**Kaoru**: Kenshin, that's the stuffed polar bear display.

**Kenshin**: Dang it. Whose idea was it to have this wedding at the zoo anyway?!

**Kaoru**: Professor Saitou wanted his family to see him get married.

**Saitou**: What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?

**Random Omake**: #2… kind of hard to envision, actually

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* ...he could have passed for some stereotypical California surfer.

**Enishi**: *dons swim trunks and sunglasses* _Duuuuude!_ Let's go catch some _waves!_

Random Omake: #3 Sweet tooth 

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* I tuned them out and concentrated on unwrapping the little chocolates on the table in front of me.

**Kaoru**: *shrewd glance* You can't eat dinner, but you can eat sweets?

**Kenshin**: I never said I ate it.

**Kaoru**: Then who--?

**Kenshin**: *points at six-year-old sitting next to him* I feel sorry for this kid's parents. He's been eating every sugary thing in sight.

**Six-year-old boy**: *bounces with growing hyperness*

Reviewers: er… this is getting long. Skip it if you like. I did try to keep each one fairly brief.****

**Val**: Kind of sad, that people think that.

Kenshin: You've made me an unreliable jerk!

**Akai Kitsune**: That prostitute thing has become a trend, hasn't it? *snicker* Now I'm picturing Kenshin faced with a stage with a pole on it. He isn't happy.

**Gochan**: *snicker* Gorilla: *majestic* I demand a sacrifice! I want… *holds up holy slip of paper* Everything on this grocery list!

**Hana Himura**: Awwww… you sort-of sacrificed Inu Yasha for my story? *feels special* Now I'm inspired to go sit in front of _my_ Inu Yasha episodes.

**Calger459**: Hmmm… not much of a dating person myself. I think I scare the guys… although I had someone hit on me the other day… again, I think I scared him away. *snicker* serves him right for acting that way, though.

**Gypsy-chan**: *snicker* Fitz is officially labeling you weird.

Sano: *mutter* Takes one to know one.

**Ro-Chan**: Sickness stinks. Hope you feel better!

**Yay**: Umm… okay.

**Ryoko Subaru**: *blink* Wow. Okay, no dress shopping. I'm not one for writing the whole nosebleed scenario. I'm just not very good at it.

**Triton Bloom**: I never _really_ confirmed it was Saitou before this chapter, but yes. Er… never actually noticed how that was like Battousai's outfit. Eh heh heh… ahem. *smacks forehead*

**C-Chan, Eko, & Yuusuke**: Eh? Randomness… I'm confused. Well, glad you liked the chapter.

**Pout**: Hate Saturday night radio… good old eighties station. Doesn't fuss with things.

**aku-chan**: Yeah, Kenshin's a sucker.

**MightyMightyMunson**: *grin* Thanks for the explanation. That's amusing. Thanks for the Kleenex. *keeps it for allergy season*

**Fuuko-san**: I'm on a favorites list! Wheeeee! Feeling special here. Glad you liked the chapter. *grin*

**Crystal**: Glad you liked. I'll try to keep up on those omakes.

**Miyu Sakura**: Wow… somewhat hentai omake… *snicker*

**Megami no Ushi**: Um… *goes and frantically searches for explanation of what SARS is* In any rate, I won't do that. An epidemic is one of those things that's possible, but not probable, and I'm trying not to insert _too_ much of that into the story… right.

**tesuka-chan**: Eh… I tried to stay away from the 'giggle.' Laughter, chuckling… but not really giggling. ('cept for the omake) As for A/M, nothing more than what's stated is happening. *blink* You mean you've ignored the conversations and comments about Tokio's wedding up until that chapter?

**Megumi**: If you liked the date, I hope you like what I'll do with them for their summer.

**Pia-san**: It's winding down, but there's a bit more coming yet. Thanks for the encouragement.

**omochi**: Er… hysterical laughter isn't usually connected to giddiness.

**nekonomiko**: Singapore… wow. And your English is better than half the American population. *sigh* That's kind of pathetic, actually.

**NightRain**: It'll close eventually. Not quite yet. I've got some things I want to put in here yet. Yay! I passed the spell check!

**futagoakuma-tenshi01**: Thanks. I'll try to keep it up.

**Chiki**: My apologies. I have a tendency to forget that things so familiar to me may not be to others. Well, now you know what Easy Mac is, and I know to be more considerate.

**san**: Yeah… the new OAV made me kind of sad too, but not too much. Thanks for the Harvard note, even if I did already get that. I do appreciate it when people point out big mistakes like that, as I'm trying to keep this as true to life as possible… for the most part. 


	25. Decisions

**Disclaimer**: As usual, I don't own anything.

**Notes**: Right… so this chapter contains a lot of little scenes spread over a rather long period (about 4 months). It should be fairly clear, but feel free to ask if it's not.

**Warnings**: Mentions of eating disorders, depression (but not a whole lot), and Misao.

Misao: What the heck! Why am _I_ on the warning list?!

Fitz: Eh heh heh… erm…

Misao: _Grrrrrrr_

Onward!!

My Life

            Kaoru was concerned. Sano, too. I kept my mouth shut. The last thing I needed was for one of them to get involved in this. Unfortunately, this meant that my stress level was at a constant high, and it showed. It was the reason my friends were so worried. I couldn't sleep, had a hard time eating, and paranoia had me glancing over my shoulder wherever I went.

            With finals rapidly approaching, I was a wreck. Sano thought it was just the stress of the upcoming tests, and he dragged me down to the cafeteria whenever we happened to be in the dorms at the same time.

            "Spaghetti today, Kenshin," Sano smirked at me as we stood in line for dinner, trays in hand. "Pasta and carbs." He poked at my side, and I shied away, bringing my tray down to block him. He frowned. "Eat something."

            I was not happy with the weight loss either. Really, I could not afford it. No matter what I did, I couldn't get myself past the one hundred pound mark. And I did check, although not when anyone was looking, on the scale Kamatari kept in the bathroom. Sure enough, I was short, so I was not in too much danger, but I had enough problems as it was without winding up in the hospital under the accusation of having an eating disorder.

            "How do you even keep your pants up?" Sano demanded as we sat at a table near a window. It was cool in the building, so I slipped into the sunny spot and let the heat of the light filtering through glass warm me.

            "Belts," I retorted. I looked down at my spaghetti, thinking the slimy, reddish tinted noodles looked rather unappealing. "And I don't buy them two sizes too large."

            "No, but they look like they are anyway," Sano glared at me. "Eat something."

            I sighed and picked up my fork.

            "Geez," Sano complained, shoveling in his own meal like there was no tomorrow. "I've never seen anyone get worked up over finals like you. The school year's almost up, Kenshin. Just a few tests, and you can go home for the summer. You can come visit me!"

            True enough. The thought of spending time away from home was appealing.

            "I'll keep that in mind," I muttered, twirling the spaghetti noodles on my fork. I stared at it for a minute, then dropped my fork and picked up a bread roll. Sano was staring at me, I knew, but I could not force myself to eat that. So I picked at the bread roll until it was gone.

            "Well I guess that's something," Sano grunted, sounding none too pleased. "So..." he tried to lighten the mood. "Talk to Kaoru lately? How's it going with you two?"

            "Fine," I sighed. Sort of fine. This whole thing with Enishi put stress on me, which I then inadvertently put on Kaoru and everyone else. The last time I saw Kaoru, she had told me I was getting cold. Her words had hurt, actually.

            _"It's like I'm talking to the boy I met six months ago! I thought you had grown beyond this coldness, Kenshin."_

            "We argued yesterday," I admitted.

            "Nn?" Sano looked at me with a frown. He swallowed his bread. "About what?"

            "About the same things you yell at me for," I grumbled. I lifted my hands to my face, rubbing at my eyes. This whole thing was wearing me down. "I don't know, Sano. I'm having a hard time trying to bring myself up again. She's going to dump me if I don't do it soon."

            He sighed loudly, and I wondered if I should have said anything. I couldn't explain my reasons, and if he pressed the issue, we would probably get into another fight.

            "First off," Sano reached in front of me, taking my tray. "You need to eat something. Wait here."

            I watched him walk away. He dropped the tray off in the kitchen before disappearing around the corner to the food tables. Awhile later, he came back with another tray. He pushed it in front of me, and I stared at the bowl for a minute. It looked like chicken wild rice soup. Next to that was a sandwich--which turned out to be plain peanut butter. It was workable.

            "You got any homework that needs to be done for tomorrow?" Sano demanded as I picked up the spoon. I shook my head. "Good. We're going to the gym tonight. They're playing basketball."

            "I can't play basketball," I said immediately, looking up.

            "Who cares?" he pointed at the food, and I turned my attention back to it. "It's just a game for fun. People go to wind down. No one really cares if you suck."

            I nodded in agreement.

            "Okay."

^_^

            Going out with Sano helped. I really was not that bad when it came to basketball. My only problem was that I had terrible aim, and it did not help if someone taller than I was--that is, any other player--jumped in front of me when I tried to shoot. After awhile I got the hang of things and decided I was better at getting the ball to the basket, then passing it to someone who could actually make the shot.

            It was a good workout, and I was physically worn out by the time Sano and I headed back to the dorm. My mood had improved quite a bit as well.

            "Not bad, Kenshin," Sano observed as we walked across the bridge to the west bank. "You're fast."

            "At least you can actually get the ball into the basket," I snorted, but I grinned at the compliment. "How often do they have games like that?"

            "Well, tomorrow's soccer, but Wednesday they'll have basketball again. Thursday, it's soccer, and they have volleyball on Fridays," he ticked the days off on his fingers, then looked at me in surprise. "Why?"

            "It was fun," I shrugged, glancing away from his suspicious stare. "Soccer sounds fun too."

            He laughed.

            "You never fail to surprise me," he declared, shoving against my shoulder roughly. I pushed back without thinking, and soon we were in a war, each trying to force the other to give ground. As far as physical strength and size went, Sano had a huge advantage over me, and I was constantly struggling not to get shoved into the outer wall of the enclosure. Sano was laughing, and I yelped as he suddenly pulled back, throwing me completely off balance. He grabbed me before I could fall and shoved me forward again, sending me sprawling. I stumbled several steps to keep from falling on my face, turning to offer him a mock glare.

            "Don't think I'll let you get away with that," I warned.

            "Think you can catch me?" he smirked and took off running. As if he could beat me in a race. I caught up with him easily, and by unspoken agreement we jogged back to the dorm without further digression.

^_^

            After having a good night's rest for the first time in well over a week, I decided that Sano was right in his methods. I needed distraction. This in mind, I kept myself as busy as possible through the remaining weeks of the school year. I stayed clear of the dorms unless I knew someone would be there, instead taking advantage of any and all offers for study groups and going out. I apologized to Kaoru for my behavior, and we went out on a couple more dates.

            "What's your plan this summer?" she asked as we sat in the middle of the mall*, eating packed lunches. The weather had gotten nice, and although the grass was still a little brown, it was comfortable to sit outside.

            "I don't know," I shrugged, tearing at my sandwich. My appetite was still down, but not to the point where I felt I would be sick if I ate anything. While I wasn't gaining back the weight, at least I was not losing it anymore. "Get a job. Hang out with Sano. You..." She smiled at that addition. "What about you?"

            "I'm going to be a day camp counselor," she smiled.

            Kaoru was getting a job? Wow. I never thought I'd see the day... I cut that thought off quickly, hoping she wouldn't suspect I had ever considered it. That was a good way to start a fight, and I did not want to insult her.

            "That sounds like fun," I said. "I applied at the local pool."

            "Doing what?" she looked at me blankly.

            "Ahh... Lifeguard," I said slowly. Wasn't that what first came to mind when someone said he was working at a pool?

            "Really?" Kaoru grinned. "I didn't know you were certified."

            "I'll have to re-take the test," I shook my head. "It's been a couple years."

            "Well that's good!" Kaoru decided. "You'll have a steady inflow of money. Maybe you can get your own apartment or something."

            "I wouldn't go that far," I sighed. "Being a lifeguard isn't exactly a goldmine. And Uncle Hiko doesn't trust me alone yet."

            "Get a roommate," she suggested.

            "I'll consider it," I pulled out my Psychology book and glared at it. "Study time."

            "Yeah," Kaoru agreed mournfully, pulling out her Sociology homework. "Would you proofread my essay when you have the chance?"

            "Sure."

^_^

*Mall--this is that big grassy expanse that some college campuses possess, _not_ a large shopping center.

^_^

            For the first time in years, I passed a semester with all A's. None of my finals had been comprehensive, which had helped with that. I was ecstatic either way. Not that I did not like B's, and a C was okay as long as I was passing, but to actually ace all of my classes was a feat. Uncle Hiko thought so too. He bought a book for me while we were out the weekend after I received my grades in the mail. Books were probably the only things we really were able to agree upon--and movies--and I never complained when he decided we would go do some necessity shopping because it usually meant we would stop at Barnes & Noble before heading home.

            I got that job at the pool. It was an easy job, actually. For the most part, all I did was lounge around outside and watch people splash around in the water. A few times I had to blow my whistle, and about twice a week we would have to clear the pool while some parents searched for their kid, who usually ended up being in the bathroom. In all, not a bad thing to be doing, though. I actually started to tan that summer, which I tended to avoid because my skin rarely took to it, not to mention I got really sick of the comparisons between my hair and skin when I burned. Needless to say, I was extraordinarily cautious.

            Enishi was a thought I kept as far from me as possible. Thus far, he had done nothing. He had not even attempted to contact me, and I sure as hell had not gone out of my way to talk to him. Summer was treating me kindly.

            By July, I was preparing to sign up for fall classes again. My declared major was English, so I was starting to take more classes revolving around that. I decided to take the couple math classes to get a minor in that. It was an easier class for me, so it made sense to use it.

            As I studied over the online class schedule, I recalled that I had not checked my email in some time. I clicked onto my school account and groaned at the list of unread email. Most of it was junk--notes about school activities, trashy forwards from Chou and Sano, a few from Kaoru which probably was about stuff we had already discussed, and the likes. Scrolling down, I found the one I had really wanted to see. Smiling to myself, I clicked on Kamatari's name and waited for the message to pop up.

            It was fairly typical to start. He asked how I was doing, said he was doing fine, and went into great detail about his front desk job at a local law firm. Apparently, it was all filing, taking messages, and giving directions, but he was happy to be that much closer to the right kind of job.

            Beyond that was something that startled me. He was coming to Minnesota just before school started. It was not going to be a long stay--his flight had an overnight layover. He would be spending the night with Chou, who would pick him up from the airport and drop him off the next morning.

            "_I need to make a phone call!_" Uncle Hiko's voice boomed through the house, and I sighed impatiently. A click of the mouse disconnected the internet, and I reread the message carefully.

            Tapping the mouse distractedly, I considered my options. At this point in time, I was planning on staying in the dorm again, as that was easiest. Chou, I thought, was also staying in the dorm, although he had moved to one of the east bank residence halls. I knew Kamatari would want me to visit. He would never have told me about his brief stay if he hadn't. So maybe I would--

            "_I'm off the phone!_"

            Uncle Hiko sometimes felt it necessary to bellow everything when I could hear him perfectly well if he just spoke loudly. His voice carried well enough. It was probably echoing off the city streets from that shout.

            "Okay!" I called back, and I hooked back online. I had to log in again, which was a pain, but I got to my account and pulled up a new message. Pulling up Chou's name, I typed out a quick message and sent it to him. I then responded to Kamatari and shut down the computer before Uncle Hiko got too testy over me tying up the phone line.

^_^

            Kaoru and I got together a lot over the summer. My job only interfered with plans for the weekend, and hers made certain we would only get together in the evening if we went out during the week, but it never bothered me. We did the typical dinner-and-a-movie once, but usually we did something that did not require sitting silently beside each other for two hours--or spending fifteen bucks on a film. We still had our Saturday sparring sessions, although we did that at her father's dojo and it was not always in the morning.

            "You've improved quite a bit, Kenshin," Mr. Kamiya complimented as Kaoru and I sat on the floor to rest after nearly an hour of intense exercise. I nodded at him.

            "Better than just falling?" I asked.

            "Yes," Mr. Kamiya laughed. He crossed his arms and considered us. Beside me, Kaoru perked up suddenly, and I looked at her curiously. Mr. Kamiya spoke again, drawing my attention back to him. "Have you ever considered sword fighting?"

            And that was how I started learning to wield a weapon. I stood patiently as Mr. Kamiya and Kaoru put what they called a _bokken_ in my hands and pushed me around until I was set up correctly. Then, although my arms did not appreciate me at all, I spent another hour swinging that wooden sword around. It did ache the next day, but it was an interesting new venture.

            "Swordsmanship?" Uncle Hiko lifted his eyebrows when I told him about it that night. "Is that so?"

            "Kaoru's father wants to teach me," I nodded, poking at a potato. He had made tater-tot hot dish that night, which was about the only thing he could make that I liked. Granted, I was so hungry from all my exercise that day that I would have settled for just about anything then.

            "He does?" Uncle Hiko smirked. "You going to pay for this?"

            "He won't let me," I frowned, recalling his words.

            _"You're like family, Kenshin. I can't accept payment from family."_

            I thought he was offering charity, but I did not press the issue at the time. I intended to discuss it with Kaoru later.

            "I think it's a good idea."

            "What?" I stared at Uncle Hiko incredulously. I thought he would be indifferent about it, like he was with everything else. "You do?"

            "You're a little old to be starting this now," Uncle Hiko smirked. "And kenjutsu is an intense study."

            "Ken... jutsu?" I echoed weakly. Since when did my uncle know so much about this?

            "If I had time, I'd do it myself, but Mr. Kamiya is probably perfectly capable," Uncle Hiko continued. "Not to mention more patient when dealing with someone like you."

            "Now what's _that_ supposed to mean?" I glared at him.

            "I suppose if you learn the basics from him, I _could_ teach you some more advanced techniques," Uncle Hiko mused, ignoring my complaint entirely. "Of course, I would require the proper request."

            I gaped at him, then shook my head as if that would help clear it of all the confused thoughts.

            "So you don't mind that I'm doing this?" I asked.

            "I'll pay for those lessons," he stood up then, dropping his crumpled napkin on the table. "Now clean up the kitchen."

            I sighed and nodded, picking up my plate.

            "Throw away your own napkin!" I said before he could escape from the room. He grumbled to himself and snatched up the napkin, dropping it in the trash under the sink before slinking out again. At least I could get him to do that. He knew I'd just let the thing sit on the table until he threw it away anyway.

^_^

            I took Kaoru to the pool more than once that summer. She liked swimming, and I got free entrance for myself and two other people. A few times Sano came with us, but more often than not it was just me and Kaoru (although I did bring Sano and his younger brother along a couple times. Yahiko loved it). When Sano came, I usually ended up spending most of my time under water as Sano seemed to have a thing for dunking me and hauling me around the pool while I shouted at him to put me down, which he promptly did, and thus the dunking.

            It was on one such occasion that Kaoru popped a rather unexpected question on me. She sat on the side of the pool while I rested with my arms on the side, content to let the water cool me on the hot day. My hair dried rapidly in the sun, faster since it was down. I might have been strange for this, but I liked how it felt when my hair was loose around me in the water. It was one of the rare occasions when I left it down completely. Not to mention that while I was shirtless, no one could mistake me for the fairer sex.

            "So, have you given any thought to staying in an apartment this year?" Kaoru asked.

            "Not really," I tilted my head back to look at her, and she giggled and pushed the bangs out of my eyes. I needed to trim those sometime. "Why?"

            "This might seem a bit odd," she leaned back on her hands, looking quite nice, I might add, in her black and white bikini. She could have been a model with her shape--granted, for the petite clothing. "But a couple of friends and I have an apartment set up for this fall, not far from the east bank campus, and we're looking for another roommate."

            She was right. That did sound odd. Not all that bad, but definitely unusual.

            "What friends?" I asked cautiously.

            "Misao and Omasu," she said with an innocent smile. That was faked. It had to have been.

            "How many rooms?"

            "It's a studio," she replied.

            I winced.

            "Well... that's, ahhh..." I hesitated.

            "Will you consider it?" Kaoru pleaded. "We need another person, but we don't all get along when another girl is thrown into the mix. And we can put up temporary walls."

            "That's rather..." I stammered, staring at the rounded edge of the pool. "Bathrooms?"

            "Two," she offered. "And an open kitchen and dining space. There's a lot of room, really."

            I stared at her, not sure how to respond. She needed another roommate, for monetary purposes no doubt, and none of the girls they knew would work. So she asked me? I was reclusive and irritable, and she thought I would get along with Misao and Omasu? Well... Omasu was fine, but Misao was just damned annoying. More irritating since she had started dating Aoshi since that was all she ever seemed to talk about whenever I saw her. 'Aoshi's so great' this, 'I wish all men were like Aoshi' that, blah, blah, blah. It was not something a guy liked to hear. I was not overly vain... hell, okay, so I was _very_ vain, and I didn't like it when some girl held another guy over my head.

            "Just look at it, will you?" Kaoru asked, looking cute as could be with her lip poking out and the top of her nose slightly pink with sunburn. I sighed loudly and sank down. Growling under the water, I hauled myself out again, shoving up so I was braced on the side, my eyes nearly level with hers. I frowned at her, ignoring her startled look.

            "You want me to live with three women?" I demanded.

            "I want you to consider it," Kaoru said, recovering quickly and smiling. I grimaced.

            "One of whom is my girlfriend," I reminded her. "Uncle Hiko will _not_ like that."

            "You're a big boy," Kaoru grinned. "You turned twenty last June."

            "I remember." Of courseI remembered. Kaoru and Sano had taken me to Valley Fair for the day. They had taken me on one of the water rides--Thunder Canyon--which supposedly would not get us very wet. Kaoru had gotten out with hardly a drop on her, while Sano and I had gotten drenched. I then had to walk around with soggy tennis shoes for the rest of the day. Yes, I remembered. "Why do you need a fourth roommate?"

            "We're splitting the pay," Kaoru explained, and I dropped back to float in the water. Holding my weight on my arms like that got tiring. "And I'm trying to pay my way through with the money I get from my job. It's manageable with four people. One-fifty a month. Gas, phones, electricity, services, and insurance all covered."

            Really, that was a good deal. I made double that in a week working at the pool. I was looking into a job at the library copy center, which paid well enough if I was hired for the fall. While the money wasn't a huge issue, there still remained the issue of the other three occupants being female.

            "I'll look at it," I found myself saying. I was such a pushover.

            Kaoru squealed happily and shoved herself off the edge, splashing me as she fell into the pool. I choked and struggled to stay afloat as she hugged me. What kind of lifeguard was I if I couldn't even do that? Granted, Kaoru was very enthusiastic, and I got to experience first-hand what it was like to get kissed underwater. It was not as nice as the movies made it out to be.

            "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Kaoru was still hugging me as I clung to the side and coughed up water. It took her a moment to figure out I was having difficulty breathing. "Are you okay?"

            I looked at her. Sometimes she was really dense.

^_^

            Kaoru and Misao were nearly to the point of dropping to their knees and begging me by the time we left the apartment. Actually, Misao did act dramatically, proof that a theatre major could be extraordinarily disturbing. It was rather embarrassing. She flung herself at me, falling to the floor and clutching at my legs, nearly knocking me over in the process.

            "What the--!" I protested. Misao's fingers twisting in my pant leg had me gripping my waistline for fear she would pull the pants down completely.

            "_Ple-e-e-ease!_" She practically had tears in her eyes. "Say you'll stay with us!"

            "Misao!" I staggered, then toppled backward, thrown off balance by the arm around my knees. My butt was sore after that, and I glared at her.

            "Get off my boyfriend, you dope!" Kaoru scolded abruptly, her hand swatting at Misao's head. I was suddenly free, the clinging girl scurrying away quickly. "I don't throw myself at Aoshi, do I?"

            Misao sniffed, swiping a nonexistent tear from her eye.

            "You are all so cruel!" she declared. She squinted at me as I climbed to my feet, rubbing my backside gingerly. "So, Kenshin? What do you say?"

            "I have to talk with Uncle Hiko," I started.

            "And if he approves?" Kaoru asked knowingly. I glanced at her and shrugged, sighing heavily.

            "I guess... it's a nice place," I allowed. I scowled, staring at the carpet and absently smoothing out the front of my pants. "As long as I'm not fighting for a bathroom in the morning."

            "We got him," Misao announced.

            "I agree," Kaoru added.

            "What the hell are you talking about?" I frowned at them. Kaoru smiled sweetly.

            "We've got until August twentieth," she said. "Our contract starts then. Of course, we'll have to make certain we get your signature on it."

            She was jumping three steps ahead of me as usual. I did not bother trying to protest. Sighing again, I just nodded in agreement and tried not to duck and cover when two very excited girls cheered and hugged me at once. Kaoru knew full well that I had to convince Uncle Hiko first. Unless I had his approval, I would be returning to the dorms. He did provide me with quite a bit of money, after all.

            That reminded me... all this meant I was actually going to have to _confront_ my uncle with this information. Oh hell.

^_^

            "What?"

            His voice was calm--slightly surprised--and back to that indifferent level with which I was so familiar. It meant he was considering it but not necessarily going to approve. I continued my explanation, keeping my voice and words as mild as possible.

            "They need a fourth person," I said. "The apartment's pretty big--" I failed to mention it was a studio, "with two bathrooms and stuff."

            "It's not a University apartment?" Uncle Hiko pressed.

            "No, it's off-campus."

            "Because most college apartments would not allow this, would they?" Uncle Hiko asked. I nodded, thinking he was about to refuse.

            To be honest, I would not complain if he did object strongly to the entire thing. I would feel bad for a few seconds, then go call Kaoru and tell her to start a frantic search for a fourth roommate. It would be nice to get out of the dorms, but at the same time, I was still very leery of the whole idea. I was not certain how I would react to the situation, and who knew how the girls would handle _my_ idiosyncrasies.

            "Frankly, kid, I'm worried about what could happen," Uncle Hiko frowned at me. The expression prompted a fairly defensive response from me.

            "Whaaaaat?" I complained. "I wouldn't do anything!"

            He smirked, apparently amused by the automatic response.

            "I'm not worried about what _you_ would do," he said. He sighed, rising from his chair to look down at me. He did not have to do that, really. Even when he sat and I stood, I was barely taller than him. I paused to wonder how such a huge man could possibly have been related to my mother. An instant later, I grumbled about the fact because I had to crane my neck to look up at him when he stood over me. He scowled. "However, it would do you good to go without being spoon-fed for awhile."

            I blinked. He was going along with the idea?

            "I want to know the address, phone number, and have a spare key," he lectured. "I expect weekly calls and/or letters--handwritten, not those emails you're so fond of."

            "S-sure," I stuttered. It hit me like a brick wall, this sudden agreement. This meant I was actually going to be staying in that apartment. Judging by the smirk on Uncle Hiko's face, he knew I was of mixed feelings about the whole thing. I wondered if this school year would truly send me over the edge.

^_^

            Despite my apprehension over the whole rooming-with-three-girls predicament, things were looking up that fall. I got all the classes I wanted, most at the times I wanted, and to top it off, I got the job I wanted. Ten bucks an hour was better than most work-study jobs would get, and I wasn't limited to ten hours a week. I had two physicals that summer, no thanks to the drastic weight loss I'd suffered during the spring, and the doctors were no longer hounding me over my diet. Sano still tried to drag me to fast food restaurants and pump me full of fatty, greasy food every time we hung out, but at least he was more subtle about it.

            Moving into the apartment was a chore. When I looked at the amount of stuff I packed, I felt I was overdoing it, but when I got to the place, I found that, compared to the girls, I was packing light.

            Kaoru and Misao both moved in the day before, unpacking most of their belongings before I got there. Omasu was driving up from Kansas, so she would not arrive until that Saturday. Kaoru offered to drive, so she got the pleasure of helping me carry boxes up two flights of stairs to our new apartment.

            It was big. Kaoru had not been lying about that. Since the kitchen and breakfast table were wide open, only a single peninsula counter jutting out into the room, it seemed like there was even more space. The rest was all open space, windows lining one wall. It had been offices at one point--cubicles, probably--before someone had converted the building into apartments. The carpet was that thin, cheap stuff usually reserved for basements and dorm rooms, and judging by how solid it felt, they had laid it over concrete. Even the kitchen floor was carpeted, although that was heavily stained. Fortunately, the carpet was a mottled purple and gray, and the stains did not show up well.

            We had to provide our own beds, of course. Uncle Hiko had helped me dismantle mine, which was a bit of a challenge to get to the apartment. More difficult was getting the mattress and box spring there. Kaoru tracked down the building manager, who let us use the freight elevator. My bed went in the corner on the interior walls, not far from where Kaoru explained Omasu's would go. Strangely enough, Kaoru's bed was on the wall past the foot of mine, Misao's beyond that. I felt somewhat trapped with another bed to my side, walls blocking off two other sides, and then two more beds on the fourth side. Certainly, that made for the most efficient use of space, but why was I the one to get boxed in?

            "We're going to put up temporary walls," Kaoru explained over the electric drill I was borrowing to screw my bed back together. I glanced up briefly, seeing her gesture between the beds. "Probably something simple... like drop cloths or something. If we hang them correctly, we'll be able to get in and out easily enough."

            "Hn," I shook my head and went back to my bed. The drill whirred loudly, vibrating in my hand as I pushed the screwdriver against the fastener.

            "You don't like that?" Kaoru asked.

            "I'd sooner leave it as it is," I muttered. I had an extra screw, and I was not sure where it went. Sighing impatiently, I started a methodical search of each joint.

            "I thought you wanted the privacy," Kaoru reminded me.

            "Right," I spotted a dark gap in the metal leg of the bed frame. "Ha!" It was the space for my extra fastener. I quickly put it into its proper place before setting the drill down and looking back to Kaoru. "But even if we just hung sheets between the beds, how much room would that leave us with?"

            She glanced at the beds already in place. I knew I was right about this one. If we divided the space evenly, putting walls, sheets, or whatever in a place where they would not be disturbed by the person in bed, there would be little room for movement outside the bed. It would be like going into a tomb every night. I didn't know about the girls, but that would make me a bit claustrophobic.

            "I see what you mean," she sighed. "What do you want to do?"

            "Well..." I considered that, frowning uneasily. "Unless one of you has some sleeping habits I'd rather not see," Sleeping nude for example. "I guess I can handle having the beds open like this. And we can use the bathrooms to change..." Although I would miss being able to walk around the room in my boxers.

            "I'll see how Omasu feels," Kaoru decided after a minute. "I don't mind, and I know Misao won't. Ready for the mattress?"

            "Yep." I set the drill on the floor over by Kaoru's bed and went to pick up the box spring. Between the two of us, we hauled the heavy things to the corner of the room and onto the bed frame. I was in the process of putting the sheets on the bed when Misao came in with a pizza balanced on one arm, a two-liter bottle of Pepsi under the other, the hand of that same arm carrying another bottle of pop, and paper bag dangling from her teeth.

            "Misao!" Kaoru hopped up to help her immediately. "You should have knocked!"

            Misao waited until Kaoru took the bag and pizza before grinning and winking boldly.

            "You know me!" she chirped, turning to pull her keys out of the door knob. "Here's dinner! Hi, Kenshin!"

            "Hi," I greeted, yanking the comforter over my bed before walking over to meet them. "What'd you get?"

            "Ummm," Misao set the Pepsi and the other bottle, which turned out to be Sprite (life was good), on the table. She turned and went to the cupboards to get some glasses. She had provided those, actually. Kaoru got the silverware, and I later learned that it was my duty to cook whenever necessary. "Sausage, pepperoni, onions, green peppers, mushrooms, and black olives. Some cheese and sauce in there too, I think."

            Well. _That_ was concise. I tried not to grimace at the odor coming from the pizza. I would be picking out the pepperoni, mushrooms, and black olives.

            "And there's breadsticks in the bag," she added. She put ice in the glasses, the frozen water plinking noisily, before she brought them to the table. "Sprite?"

            "Kenshin," Kaoru said, as I took the bottle from Misao. "I'll have Pepsi."

            "Caffeine is heavenly," Misao murmured.

            "We'll need it," Kaoru nodded. "We've still got to set up the computers."

            "Tell Kenshin about those yet?" Misao asked.

            "Tell me what?" I wondered. I studied my square of pizza, decided it was unsalvageable, and reached for a breadstick. Kaoru took the pizza when I held it out. Strange girls. I thought they weren't supposed to like all those heavy toppings.

            "It seemed kind of silly to have four computers in the place," Kaoru started.

            "So we thought we'd compromise a bit," Misao added.

            Between the two of them, I learned that we were going to be sharing the computers. We would have one computer hooked up to the internet--which was the only connection we had anyway--and one other for homework and reports. Kaoru had a laptop, and we would keep my computer in storage for emergencies. That way, we would only have two computers taking up space, leaving room for my futon, the television, the stereo system, and, of course, the wardrobes* and dressers. It was not a bad setup, as long as we coordinated our time well. I made a mental note to pick up some blank CDs and floppy disks so I could do my homework while I was on campus.

            After dinner, I cleaned up the kitchen while Kaoru and Misao set to work on the computers. It was a job I was accustomed to handling, so it did not bother me. I did inform them that I would not clean up their dirty napkins, though. Something about touching those just made me squeamish.

            Afterwards, I set to putting my clothes in the dresser drawers that were deemed 'Kenshin's drawers.' The other half of the dresser belonged to Omasu. I preferred hanging my shirts, since it was not so cluttered feeling, but the wardrobe was for nice clothes only, so I resigned myself to folding my shirts along with the pants and tucking them into the drawers.

            I moved to the rest of my stuff--books, personal belongings, etc, etc...  Kaoru and Misao were finished with the computers, so they came to help me. I wasn't overly pleased by that, but there wasn't much I could do. Besides, it did go faster, even if I didn't like them digging through my things.

            "That's _got_ to be Mom and Dad," Misao said at one point. I jumped at the comment, my stomach twisting unpleasantly, before turning to yank the picture out of her hand. I grabbed the other picture as well and put them both face down on the dresser. "Whoa. Someone's a little touchy."

            "Misao," Kaoru rebuked quietly.

            "Oh, come on!" Misao whined. "Why does everyone else know about all this? Secrets are mean!"

            I bit my lip to keep from saying something really nasty, instead focusing on sorting my CDs alphabetically in the tower mounted inside the stereo case. Between the four of us, there would not be enough space on that thing.

            "It's a sensitive subject, Misao," Kaoru murmured.

            "But..." Misao complained weakly. I sighed and went back to the dresser, picking up the photographs. It was easier, I supposed, if she knew a little about it. At the very least, she would no longer nag at me. Sighing again, I turned and handed them back to Misao. Kaoru was surprised, if her startled blink was any indication, and Misao just looked puzzled. I pointed at the picture of my parents.

            "Mom, Dad," I stated, pointing to each image in turn. "Both deceased." I pointed to the girl in the second picture. "My sister... also..." That was harder to say. Still, I had a difficult time with it. I swallowed in effort to get rid of the lump in my throat. "Also gone."

            "O-oh," Misao stammered. "I'm... I'm sorry."

            "It's fine!" I scowled at how rough my voice sounded and took the pictures back. I shook my head, disgusted with myself. It was going on five years since Tomoe had died. I should not have been getting choked up about it still. Again, I had to hold back a rude comment, but I sure as heck thought it: _Aoshi never even questioned the me about the people in the picture. Can't she act a bit more like her boyfriend?_ Granted, Misao would never treat me like a foolish idiot as Aoshi sometimes had the tendency to do.

            I moved to put the pictures back into the box, suddenly wishing I had never brought them. That would have been a first.

            "Kenshin."

            Blinking rapidly, I focused on the hands around mine, pushing them away from the box. Glancing up, I met Kaoru's gaze uneasily. What was she doing?

            "Don't put them away," she whispered.

            I frowned but let her take the pictures from me. She set them on the dresser, amidst the multitude of frames already there. Smiling brightly, she turned to look at me again.

            "See?" she asked. "One big happy family."

            She was trying to make the situation better. I had to give her credit for that, even if I was not all that keen on the idea of having those photographs out in the open like that. Finally, I shrugged and nodded.

            "That works," I muttered.

            "Let's say we call it a night," Kaoru offered, gesturing to the clock. It was after eleven.

            "Sounds good to me," I stood straight, stretching my arms above my head and wincing at the sound of my spine popping. I glanced at Misao. She still looked a little sullen. I had been pretty harsh with her.

            "We can share a bathroom to change and get ready," Kaoru offered, hooking her arm through Misao's.

            I smirked and nodded my agreement.

            "That's probably for the best," I tilted my head to meet Misao's eye. She had that hurt look on her face yet. I turned, brushing some hair out of my eyes. "After all..." I pulled open a drawer and pulled out a pair of pajamas. "I don't need a jealous boyfriend chasing after me, and I don't know how I would resist, being so close to Misao."

            Misao gasped, and Kaoru laughed. She knew I was joking, or she might have whacked me for that comment. Glancing back, I saw that Misao was blushing and trying to hide a smile. Satisfied that she was not mad at me, I tucked my PJs under my arm and walked into the nearest bathroom.

^_^

*Wardrobe--referring to the closets, not the clothes.

^_^

            I ended up sharing a bathroom with Omasu. One would have thought the quiet young woman would be the least offensive of the three, but I rapidly learned this to be false. In fact, I soon discovered what it meant to be living with three women.

            "Geez," I grumbled, picking my way over discarded clothing to the kitchen. This was what laundry baskets were for--and was that a _bra_ hanging on the bathroom doorknob? "You're all slobs!"

            "And you're not?" Misao retorted blearily. She was never fully awake before ingesting at least two cups of coffee in the morning. I stared at her, then glanced out into the room. No... none of that stuff was mine.

            "He's got a point, Misao," Kaoru commented, somehow managing to eat a piece of toast and pull on her socks at the same time. She had to be to work by eight. "Kenshin is meticulously neat. He's got this obsessive desire for cleanliness."

            "Excuse me for liking a clutter-free environment," I grumbled, dropping into the chair next to her. I nodded my thanks when Omasu handed me a glass of orange juice. "Besides... how would you like it if I left my underwear strewn about the place? My deodorant?" I glanced to Omasu, who blushed properly. Yes, she knew full well who was to blame for that. "I never knew girls could be so careless with their stuff."

            "I'd say we could discuss this now, but I have to run," Kaoru snatched up a banana and inhaled that as well. "But maybe we should set up a few ground rules tonight. Sound fair?"

            "I'm working until eight," Omasu reminded us.

            "And I've got a date--" Misao started.

            "Tomorrow," Kaoru added, scowling at her friend. "Honestly, you two. We wouldn't be able to afford this place if not for Kenshin, so stop trying to weasel out of this! Just some basic rules, okay?"

            "Okay..." Misao groaned. Omasu nodded, and I drank my orange juice.

            "Kenshin?" What? She wanted me to answer too?

            "Sounds good," I quipped.

            "Good," Kaoru echoed. "Then I'm off. See you all later."

            I glanced at the other two girls as the door shut behind Kaoru. Misao was oblivious, drinking her coffee and staring at the comic strip she had been reading for the past ten minutes. Omasu avoided my gaze, staring into her own juice nervously. I sighed and stood up.

            The bathroom was serviceable. There were four drawers and a cabinet under the sink. Fairly divided, I got two drawers, although I really only needed one. Omasu's stuff was overflowing from her two claimed drawers, and I suspected it would not be long before I insisted she use a third. The shower was nice--just a stall. Kaoru and Misao's bathroom had an actual tub in it, not that I cared. There was, of course, a toilet and a mirror.

            Setting my clean clothes on the toilet seat, I turned on the shower. I spared a moment to glare at the rag, in a wadded heap on the shower stall floor, before stepping over it and standing under the hot spray of water. God... women!

^_^

Notes: Okay, a few things. One: Hiko will not be teaching Kenshin Hiten Mitsurugi. As far as I'm concerned, that style does not exist in this story. Battou jutsu, however, is not a completely made-up technique, and you may hear mention of it before the story is done. (Maybe not, but you never know.)

Two: Those little definition thingies are just because I had some confusion that I hoped to deter. Apparently, 'mall' was not as common a term as I had thought. Wardrobe is one of those things that's just not used as much now, so I added it, too.

And finally, I may appear to forget some things in the next chapter or so, but don't worry. I'm not dropping it permanently.

**Random Omake**: #1

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* It was on one such occasion that Kaoru popped a rather unexpected question on me.

**Kaoru**: Kenshin, will you marry me?

**Kenshin**: O.O

Run, Kenshin. Run for your life!

**Random Omake**: Return of the drawers

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* Afterwards, I set to putting my clothes in the dresser drawers that were deemed 'Kenshin's drawers.'

**Kaoru**: *holds up a pair of Kenshin's pants*

**Misao**: *wolf whistle*

**Kenshin**: Give those back!

**Kaoru**: But I _like_ them! Can I borrow them?

**Kenshin**: _No!_

**Random Omake**: Return of the drawers, part two

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* ...folding my shirts along with the pants and tucking them into the drawers.

**Kaoru**: *'helps' Kenshin by stuffing shirts inside legs of his spare pants*

**Kenshin**: What's with the 'drawers' jokes? And stop that!

**Kaoru**: Now we'll get a plaid, flannel shirt, make a head out of a pillow case, and we can set it outside as the world's smallest scarecrow!

**Kenshin**: You're not using my clothes to make a scarecrow!

**Misao**: I've got a straw hat around here somewhere!

**Kenshin**: Wait... smallest? What the hell's _that_ supposed to mean?!

**Kaoru & Misao**: *giggling hysterically*

**Kenshin**: You two are shorter than I am!

Reviewers: Because of the number of reviewers and my tendency to babble, I'm again cutting back on the responses a bit. If I don't respond to you and you feel a bit slighted, well… let me know. For now, thanks to all who reviewed, and here's the answers to any questions posed (and a few comments that I felt needed a response):

**san**: I can see how you'd feel that way about Kenshin's characterization for this story. It won't change, as that would destroy everything I've already done. I have much to say on the topic, but I won't take up pages doing that. If you or anyone else wants my view on that, throw me an email address, and I'll write enough to make your eyes hurt and possibly offend you, although I'd try not to.

**C-Chan**: Eh. It's just as well, I suppose. All those names sometimes confused me. Eep. I'm going to try to keep this different from _Life's a Dance_. I hate it when all the stories start sounding alike.

**aku-chan**: *snicker* I liked the idea of Saitou being henpecked. And he's not a cop here.

**Ryoko Subaru & Susannah**: No, Enishi's not gay. It's merely a method of intimidation.

**angelicyokai**: *trying to react to flaming comment* Okay… can't think of anything.

**Megumi**: I think the chapter answered your question, and I'm sorry. I didn't want to throw them suddenly into a huge romance.

**tesuka-chan**: We'll get a little bit more Misao/Aoshi now. I'm not sure about weddings, though.

**And everyone else**? I appreciate your reviews very much. They inspire me and sometimes make me laugh (thank you for those that do), and I'm encouraged to continue a story that might otherwise fall dormant.


	26. Fun and farewells

**Disclaimer**: *strikes a dramatic pose* I own _nothing!_ *slinks away, complaining about the fact that I own nothing*

**Notes**: *blink* I am astounded at the number of people who want to see Kenshin and Kaoru get it on. You people are perverts. But, uh… keep an eye out.

**Warnings**: Subtle jokes, mentions of unpleasant female bodily functions, brief moments of sap, and slight shounen ai.

Onward!

My Life

            The Friday before school started, I found myself tracking down a bus to campus. Omasu was the only one at the apartment when I left, so I told her I might not get back until late or the following morning. No need to get the group worried if I didn't show up that night.

            I tracked Chou down, finally locating him in the dorm cafeteria. It took some creative persuasion, but the woman taking money let me run down there to search for him without having to cough up $5.75. I found him eating his breakfast, sitting with a small group of unfamiliar people.

            "You were supposed to be upstairs," I informed him as I walked up to their table.

            "Don't be a nag, kid," Chou smirked and held up a plate with a cinnamon roll on it. "Want some?"

            I shook my head and glanced at the clock. We still had some time, and it was difficult to get too mad at Chou. He was irritating, to be sure, but there was something the guy that just made me want to shrug and wave off his worst actions.

            "Have a seat," Chou offered. "Meet my roommate. His name is Kevin."

            "Yo," Kevin, a tall guy with black hair and dark brown eyes, mumbled around his cereal.

            "Hi," I greeted in turn. I reached for a chair next to Chou and pulled it out. Never did I expect anyone to come up behind me, let alone wrap their arms around my waist.

            "Long time no see, Kenshin."

            I nearly leapt out of my skin at the hand sliding over my stomach, instinctively jerking away from the contact. That, of course, meant that I slammed back into the taller person behind me, who took the impact rather well since neither of us fell in the process.

            "The hell--!" I twisted to look at who had been so bold to touch me, then gaped at the blue-eyed man smirking down at me. "Katsu!"

            "You're looking good, Kenshin," he stepped back, holding his hands out to prove he meant no harm. "I like what you're doing with your hair. You a friend of Chou?"

            "Yeah, I guess," I frowned. "When did you get back?"

            "Two weeks ago," he pulled out the chair next to the one I still had my hand on and slouched down into it. He glanced up and, seeing my irritated scowl, flung his hands out in mild exasperation. "I know, I know! I haven't talked to Sano yet."

            "He's going to be pissed when he finds out," I muttered, dropping into the chair between him and Chou.

            "Don't tell him yet," Katsu grabbed my wrist, actually making me wince with how hard he yanked on it. His other hand was on my knee, which I liked even less.

            "Fine, okay," I caught the wrist of that hand on my leg and pushed him away. "Keep your hands to yourself."

            Chou's roommate was snickering, but he cut off rather abruptly. I assumed Chou had done something to shut him up. It made sense, being that Kamatari was his best friend. Chou always had been a bit sensitive to that stuff.

            "You're mad at me," Katsu murmured.

            "It's none of my business," I retorted. "I don't care what you do with your time, but no one's seen or heard anything from you since January. We were all beginning to think you'd dropped off the face of the earth." Not to mention his extended lack of correspondence had Sano really depressed, even if the guy didn't show it. _That_ was what ticked me off.

            "I couldn't--"

            "Like I said," I cut him off, frowning at his attempt to make an excuse. "I don't care. You're Sano's friend." I opted not to add, _I'm just the guy you like to flirt with on occasion_, although he probably knew I was thinking it. He sighed, more than likely regretting he had ever greeted me. Not that Katsu should have expected a warm reception with how he treated me. It was not like I couldn't stand the guy, but there was something about him that rubbed me wrong, and I wasn't talking about that hand on my knee. If he wanted to be an ass of a friend--and Sano was willing to take it--then it really was not any of my business. Considering I was not always the model friend, I would be a hypocrite to say anything.

            "Spitfire..." I heard Kevin mutter. It was all I could do not to growl at him, although I did glare at him, willing him to hear: _Fuck off!_

            "Shut up, Kevin," Chou grunted, lumbering to his feet. He offered a lazy smirk. "Let's go pick up the little lawyer."

            Thank god.

^_^

            Due to the heightened security at the airports, we had to wait by the luggage claim for Kamatari. The plane was right on time, though, so we did not have to stand there very long.

            "He said he'd be wearing a green shirt and blue jeans," Chou said, bracing his hand on my shoulder and standing on tiptoe to see over the heads of the people in front of us. I did not even attempt it. If Chou wasn't tall enough, I certainly wasn't. He waved suddenly, grinning broadly. A few seconds later, a dark-haired man shoved through the people and jumped on Chou, flinging his arms around the taller guy's neck with a happy squeal.

            "_Chou!_" he laughed. "God, I missed you!"

            Chou smirked and carefully pried Kamatari's arms from around his neck. He laughed and picked up the overnight bag Kamatari had dropped upon seeing his friend. I stood awkwardly to the side, not sure what to do with myself. It was not until just a few days earlier that I had been certain I would be going with to pick up Kamatari, and I had never told him. I was not sure if he would mind or not.

            "Sweetheart?" Kamatari gasped, finally seeing me. I smiled nervously.

            "Hi."

            I was promptly squished against his chest. Judging from the way I could barely breathe, Kamatari had gotten stronger over the summer. That, coupled with the fact that my face was pressed into his shoulder, made certain I was breathless when he finally loosened his grip enough for me to pull back an inch. He giggled, his face in my hair, his chin scratching along my cheek. I shuddered, squirming away from that feeling.

            "Ugh!" I pushed his face away, staggering back when he released me. "Don't tell me you're growing a beard!"

            "No," he laughed. "I just haven't shaved since yesterday."

            "Good," I said without thinking, then pinched my lips together, embarrassed by the assertion. "Um... you got any bags?"

            "They'll be loaded onto the next plane," Kamatari shook his head.

            "Good," Chou declared, hooking an arm around Kamatari's neck. "Let's blow this Popsicle stand."

            Kamatari giggled again, grabbing my wrist and yanking me under his arm, hugging me to his side as we walked. It was awkward with the three of us crunched together like that, but somehow we all fit through the doors, and we made it to Chou's car without falling.

^_^

            Kamatari was far too amused at my living situation.

            "You and Sparrow?" he snickered, flopping down on Chou's bed and stretching out on his stomach, feet kicking the air slowly. "You've been living together for a week, and she's still alive?"

            "I can handle Misao," I sighed. "It's weird, but not that bad. They're quieter at night."

            "Quieter than this lawnmower?" Kamatari poked at Chou's side lightly and smirked when his friend glared at him.

            "You snore," I reminded him.

            "I do not!"

            "Not bad, but you snore," I shrugged and leaned back against the wall, eyeing the beanbag chair a few feet away from me. "How was the flight?"

            "Boring," Kamatari shrugged. "I had to sit next to this little old lady who told me I reminded her of her granddaughter."

            Chou snorted and claimed that beanbag chair for himself. Oh well. 'He who hesitates' and all that. I sat on the floor.

            "I want to see this apartment of yours," Kamatari announced. "Call the girls and tell them we're coming over."

            "Maybe we should give them an hour," I rolled my eyes, thinking of how they would be frantically cleaning the place. Rules or not, they were still messy. At least they were considerate enough to push it all off to the side though. Most of their dirty clothes landed somewhere within five feet of a laundry hamper--a lot of it in mine.

            "I don't mind if it's not clean," Kamatari picked up on that one easily. "Call them."

            "Sure," I sighed but picked up Chou's phone. A few seconds later, Misao picked up the line.

            "'lo?" she mumbled.

            "What, you're awake?" I glanced at the clock. Friday morning she had nowhere to be, so she declared she would sleep until noon. It was only eleven-thirty.

            "Kenshin?"

            "You guys mind if I bring a couple guys over to see the apartment?" It would have been pretty rude not to ask.

            "...Who?" Well, she did sound pretty tired.

            "Kamatari and Chou."

            "Sure..." It sounded like she was going to fall asleep on the phone.

            "We'll be there in twenty minutes," I offered.

            "...'kay..." Deep, even breathing followed that. Yes, she fell asleep. I hoped the others would get the message.

            "Okay," I glanced at Chou and Kamatari doubtfully. "Let's go."

^_^

            My suspicions were valid. The half-awake Misao failed to tell anyone about our visit, although she was up and about by the time we got there--sort of. Omasu was the person to greet us when we arrived. Like Misao, she could be a late riser, although once she was awake, she was as bright and cheery as anything. Cheerfulness aside, she was shocked when she walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped turban-style around her head to see me and two unexpected guests in the doorway. Fortunately, she was fully dressed.

            "Kenshin!"

            "Omasu!"

            We were both somewhat alarmed, it seemed. Kamatari and Chou were snickering quietly behind me.

            "You brought friends!" Omasu blurted. She was starting to blush by that point.

            "I told Misao," I murmured weakly. She scowled, her blush still growing.

            "_MISAO!_" she roared, stomping away to the beds. I stared after her, startled by the typically quiet girl's reaction.

            "Ummmm..." was all I could think to say for the moment.

            "This is it?" Kamatari leaned forward, bracing his hand on my shoulder to peer around the cupboards into the kitchen. "This is... you got a studio!"

            "Yeah," I sighed. "Want anything to drink?"

            "Beer?" Chou wondered. I glared at him.

            "Try again," I suggested.

            "Soda?"

            "Sprite, Pepsi, or Mountain Dew?"

            "Dew," Chou smirked.

            "Pepsi!" Kamatari added.

            "Mountain Dew!"

            I glanced up, lifting my eyebrows at the additional request, then pulled extra glasses out for Misao and Omasu. They joined us in the kitchen, one in pajamas, the other with her hair up in a sloppy wet ponytail.

            "Just get up, Sparrow?" Kamatari teased, taking the pop I offered. Chou was too impatient to wait, so he poured his own glass of 'Dew.' Of course, he failed to recall--or just did not care--that Misao wanted the same, and he set the bottle down when he had finished the one glass. Misao pouted a bit, then grabbed the bottle and drank straight from it. Ick.

            "Misao!" Not that I much cared. _I_ rarely drank that. And as far as I knew, she did not drink from the bottle usually. Still, it was almost worth witnessing the disgusting habit just to see Chou's reaction. He looked like he could not decide if he should swallow the pop already in his mouth or spit it back into his glass. A moment later, he did choke it down, his glass ending up on the table, where it would remain until I washed it. Of course we did not have a dishwasher, and rarely did any of the girls do the chore in a timely fashion.

            "That's disgusting, girl," Chou smacked Misao's back, making her choke on her own pop. She coughed and staggered away, scowling at him momentarily before stumbling into the bathroom, the shut door muffling the sounds of her hacking.

            "Nice," Kamatari snickered. "Does she always do that?"

            "Not as far as I'm aware," I sighed.

            "Misao's annoyed," Omasu murmured anxiously. "Aoshi called and said he couldn't go out tonight."

            Snubbed girlfriend. Got it.

            "Ohhhh, dumb darling," Kamatari clucked his tongue. I felt his hand on my shoulder, and I looked at him, thinking he wanted a refill on his pop already. He just smirked at me. His glass was still mostly full. "Could be worse, I suppose."

            _Could be... _what? I scowled.

            "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

            "Oh, nothing," he patted my shoulder and turned to walk into the apartment. "Nice. Sweetheart, is this yours?"

            Grumbling about his innuendo, I followed him out of the kitchen. Chou was checking out the bathroom (that is, utilizing it), so I was spared from his inappropriate comments for the moment. He certainly would have said something about the magazine on the futon.

            Kamatari picked it up, reading the front cover.

            "'Find your ideal partner,'" he proclaimed. "'Are you in a relationship that's right for you?' Gee, Kenshin... I hope Kaoru doesn't see this."

            "It's Kaoru's magazine," I muttered. He lifted his eyebrows at me, and I scowled. "Don't say it."

            He was trying not to smile and failing. I had the urge to jump him and beat that smile right off his face. Insulting me would make me cranky, but attempting to undermine my relationship pissed me off. He knew perfectly well what my reaction would be. He must have because the smile did fade away then, and he dropped the magazine back onto the futon.

            "Sorry."

            "My bed's the one in the corner," I said, wary of any argument that might occur over _that_ one. Kamatari took the hint and pasted on a big smile, immediately rushing over to the beds.

            "I should have known," he laughed forcefully. "The only one that's made."

            I tried not to groan. At least there were no clothes strewn about the place. I suspected those had been stuffed under the beds while we were in the kitchen. But... was it so difficult to pull the covers up on their beds?

            "What kind of movies you got over here?"

            Chou had emerged, and of course he had gone straight for the entertainment systems.

            "Is this... Super Nintendo?!" Like a kid in a candy shop. "I haven't seen one of these in _years_!"

            "Want to play a game?" I offered. Kamatari wandered back to my side, looking curious. I was looking for a way to ease the tension in the room. "It's Omasu's, but she said we could use it whenever."

            Chou glanced over his shoulder, grinning boldly.

            "Hell yeah!"

^_^

            They ended up staying later than I originally intended. Kaoru's day at work ended at four, and we were still playing Super Mario World by the time she got back. Chou was still playing, anyway, Misao sitting right beside him, her tongue sticking out the side of her mouth in concentration. I was getting bored, playing solitaire on the floor. It wasn't like Kamatari was very good company, as he was dozing on the futon. Earlier, he had admitted to getting very little sleep the previous night. New school jitters, I supposed. Hell, if _I_ was going to an Ivy League college, I'd be nervous too. I'd been edgy enough just coming to the U of M.

            "_YES!_" Misao's voice rang out in sudden triumph. Kamatari jerked, gasping into full consciousness. The cards I had been shuffling went spraying out of my hands, into Chou, who yelped in protest as they thwacked into his side, face, hair, and fluttered down into his lap. Misao was completely oblivious. "_Eat THAT, Bowser!_"

            "Damn!" Chou groaned. "Girl, you took every shortcut and skipped all the secret levels!"

            "So?" Misao beamed at him, insufferably pleased with herself. "I still won the game, didn't I?"

            "That's not the point!" Chou protested. "The game's got _depth_, specific _nuances_ that make it what it is!"

            "But I won!" Misao said again, scowling.

            "But you didn't earn the _right_ to win!" Chou shot back.

            "Who cares if I took the most direct route?!" Misao demanded, the happy scene of Mario Brothers characters marching across the television screen forgotten. "I beat Bowser!"

            "Winning isn't the important part!" Chou growled. "Didn't anyone ever tell you the journey is more important?!"

            I glanced at Kamatari, confused by the fanatical argument. He sighed, looking tired but amused, and shook his head.

            "There is no reasoning with a video game junkie," he murmured.

            I had the feeling the fight could last for hours if no one stepped in soon.

            "I'm _ba-aaaaaack_!"

            Right on time. Misao and Chou stopped their arguing in favor of turning to see that Kaoru had just come through the door. She went straight to the kitchen and into the freezer. It was Kaoru's typical response to a rough day at work. Crazy kids equaled a bowl with two heaping scoops of ice cream. Crazy kids and rotten coworkers meant a spoon, the carton, and a night of complaining. Kaoru was eating straight from the carton, so it must have been a tough day.

            "Jimmy was a brat again today!" she announced, digging through the cupboard for a glass. "Wouldn't give me a minute to recover before he was antagonizing someone smaller than him! And then _Sandra_ was bitching at me because I asked Josephine to go into the pool with the kids today. It's not like I don't go every other time, and I didn't _tell_ her to do it, I _asked_ her!"

            Whoa. It must have been a really bad day. She did not even notice the guests yet. Her back was to us, one hand occupied with getting herself a glass of water while the other was attempting to guide another spoonful of ice cream to her mouth.

            "It didn't help that I was cranky and sore," she whined loudly--very loudly because we could hear her across the apartment when she was facing the other way. "I forgot to bring my Advil with me!" She turned then, water and ice cream in hand, and stalked over to the futon. "And it's the first day of my..." she trailed off, staring uncertainly at the four of us by the television. I knew what she was about to say, and quite frankly, I was glad she stopped. Chou was already snickering, and we did not need any snide remarks. "Hi."

            "Hi there, Kaoru," Kamatari greeted. Chou snorted, trying not to burst out laughing.

            "Hi, Kaoru!" Misao grinned and pointed at the screen of dancing video game characters. "I won!"

            "Uh... that's great," Kaoru's smile twitched a bit. "Kenshin?"

            "Yes, Kaoru?" It was difficult to make that sound innocent, but I thought I did a pretty good job of it. She made a face at me.

            "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

            "Oooooooh," Chou and Kamatari looked at each other in knowing mischief.

            "Shut up," I growled, climbing to my feet and trailing behind Kaoru as she walked back out the door. She put the ice cream and water glass on the counter, and I hoped it did not make a mess. Kaoru sounded irritated, which meant I would be the one cleaning it up.

            The bad thing about a studio was that there really was no privacy in it. At least, there wasn't with the way we had it set up. We had to go out into the hall to have a moment alone.

            "Why didn't you stop me?" Kaoru hissed, shutting the door and turning to scowl at me.

            I stared at her. She hated it when I interrupted her during her sessions of venting. It was easier just to let her finish and then offer to go to the gym with her afterwards to work off that excess energy. I was tempted to bring that punching bag from home to the apartment, but I really preferred going to the gym.

            Kaoru sighed and shook her head.

            "Sorry," she muttered. "I guess that's not fair of me, is it?"

            That was a rhetorical question. Common sense told me not to answer her. It was always easier just to keep my mouth shut in such situations. Kaoru could get angry quickly, but she also cooled off just as rapidly if left to herself.

            "I'm just crabby today," she decided, and I was inclined to agree with her. "Seven hours of being cheerful for a bunch of seven-year-olds is tiring when all I want to do is curl up with a hot water bottle and a book."

            Still, I kept quiet. Inside, I was praying, chanting: _Don't tell me about your period. Don't tell me about your period. Pleeeeeease don't tell me about your period!_

            "I'm going to go ask Misao if she's got any Midol," Kaoru announced quietly. "I'll feel better in an hour or so."

            "You want some pizza?" I offered warily. "We were going to order out."

            "Actually... I bought some hamburger last night. Would you...?" she blinked at me hopefully. As if I could possibly refuse that face.

            "Sure," I nodded, smiling weakly.

            "There should be enough for everyone," Kaoru added. She hesitated, her hand on the doorknob to go back inside. "Is Omasu here?"

            "She went to work," I shook my head. "She said she'll be back after eight."

            "She's got some nasty hours," Kaoru mused, then shrugged. "I'm going to take a bath." She pushed the door open, lifting her voice slightly. "Misao!"

            "_Yes, I am!_" Misao announced, standing proudly on the futon with one arm held high in the air. God only knew what she had been doing. Kamatari and Chou were holding their sides, laughing their asses off.

            "Painkillers! Asap!"

            "A sap?" Kamatari blinked. "Where?"

            Chou was pointing at me, but I was too confused to be irritated. I blinked a few times, then settled for shaking my head. Picking up the discarded ice cream carton, I walked into the kitchen.

            "Who wants hamburgers?"

            "No pizza?" Chou complained immediately.

            "Only if you pay for it," I replied, opening the freezer and shoving the ice cream in. "Kamatari?"

            "Got ketchup?"

            "And mustard, pickles, and cheese," I nodded.

            "Sounds good," he leaned back, folding his arms behind his head. "Medium well!"

            "Do I look like a waiter?" I snapped. "You get raw or cooked. There is no in-between."

            He laughed, tousling with Chou when the blond reached back to ruffle his hair. The hair-mussing did not work well when Kamatari had it in a ponytail, but it they were having fun. I smiled, shaking my head again, and went to defrost the hamburger.

^_^

            Somehow, it was decided that Chou and Kamatari would spend the night. After dinner, Chou took a half hour to run back to his dorm and get Kamatari's bag and an overnight sack for himself. Kaoru was feeling much better by the time he returned, dressed in a baggy tee shirt that looked suspiciously like one of mine and a pair of pants that... also looked like they were mine.

            "I never knew you wore K-Mart brands, Kaoru," I commented after I got a good look at her. She smiled brightly, never saying anything as she dug through the cupboard. A moment later, she produced a box of microwave popcorn. I tried again, this time being blunt. "I'm glad my clothes fit you so well."

            "Eh," she shrugged. "Pants are a little loose."

            "Yeah," I glanced at her feet, where she was stepping on the back hem of the pants. "They're loose on me too. That's the design."

            For someone who was accustomed to the low-rise, tight fitting pants, I supposed she would think they were too big. I usually wore them with shoes, too, so they did not get under my heels, and I wouldn't fray the pant leg hems.

            "You look like she borrowed your toothbrush, sweetheart," Kamatari announced, handing me a clean, wet pan. My face warmed, and I studiously wiped the pan dry with my towel.

            "Hm?" Kaoru glanced at me. "I'm sorry, Kenshin. I can change."

            "No, it's okay," I lied, but I probably was not convincing with my teeth clenched when I smiled. Kaoru glared at me, and I put the pan in its proper cupboard. Damn it all... "Would you at least roll those up?"

            Kaoru looked down, then flushed in realization.

            "Whoops," she crouched, quickly folding the pants up once so she was no longer stepping on them. And to be honest, I was not overly pleased that she was wearing those during her 'time of the month.' "Sorry."

            "Sure," I sighed, taking a plate from Kamatari. "Just... if you wear it, you have to wash it."

            She giggled and kissed my cheek.

            "Sure thing, Kenshin."

            When she went back to the microwave, I turned my glare on Kamatari. He caught my irritation as he handed me another plate and blinked in wide-eyed innocence. Yeah right. I scowled.

            "What?" he wondered. As if I would dignify that with a response. "_What_?"

            Snorting impatiently, I set the dry plate on the growing pile on the countertop. Kamatari smirked and swirled his hands in the water, searching for silverware.

^_^

            Chou and Misao picked up Donkey Kong Country and settled down for another several hours of video game playing. Kaoru, Kamatari, and I picked up that deck of cards I had sent flying over the floor and, after counting to make sure they were all there, started up a game of King's Corners.

            "Take that, sweetheart," Kamatari smirked, slapping an ace down on a pile. I frowned at the twos and aces across the floor and grumbled to myself, drawing from the deck.

            "That's just being spiteful," I muttered, reaching over the game for some popcorn from the bowl between Kamatari and Kaoru. "You realize it'll come back to bite you."

            "Whining not allowed from the guy with only two cards in his hands," Kaoru ordered. "Save some of that popcorn for us, you pig."

            I made a face at her and retracted my hand from another grab for the food. I picked up my pop instead.

            "Kamatari, you dope!" Kaoru whined. "I can't do anything either!"

            "Forgive me," Kamatari grinned and drew a card. "You guys start next week, right?"

            "Yeah," Kaoru grumbled. "I'm not looking forward to my accounting class."

            "One of those necessary evils," I glanced at the spot Kamatari had left blank on the floor. He slapped down a five of diamonds and smirked when I sighed. "You still majoring in business?"

            "I've been taking classes out of Carlson," Kaoru nodded. "It's not an official transfer until spring, but they said I could take classes that way so I wouldn't fall behind. I still think it's stupid that they have different generals requirements for graduation. It's all the same school."

            "But it's _Carlson_," Kamatari grinned. "Only IT can compete."

            "What's the difference?" Kaoru complained.

            "Different fields of study," I muttered, dropping my last card on that five Kamatari had put down. "Better reputations. You can be a business major through CLA, but it's not as impressive as the school of business."

            "Stupid," Kaoru pouted. She blinked. "Dang it! Do you have any cards left?"

            I held up my hands, proving them to be empty. Kamatari moaned and threw his cards down.

            "Come on, Kaoru! We can beat him once!"

            "He's won four times in a row!"

            "It's King's Corners!" I rolled my eyes. "Hardly a game of great skill."

            "Want to play poker?" Kamatari offered.

            "I don't know how to play," I protested.

            "All the more reason," Kaoru grinned and shoved the cards over to Kamatari. "Deal 'em out!"

            "Hello!"

            We waved at Omasu when she appeared, carrying her black shoes in one hand, her apron over her other shoulder. Kaoru grinned and patted the floor next to her.

            "Come help us beat Kenshin in a game of cards, Omasu."

            "What are you playing?" the girl blinked at us.

            "Poker," Kamatari bridged the cards, the paper whispering as he shuffled them together. "Eights are wild."

            "What?" I protested, staring at the cards that appeared in front of me. I had no idea what he was talking about. "But--"

            "We'll teach you," Kamatari smirked. "The loser has to share a bed with whoever loses the video game."

            "Shouldn't we consult Misao and Chou before we decide that?" Omasu asked hesitantly.

            "Afraid you'll get stuck sleeping with Chou?" Kaoru teased. "Don't worry. We're rooting for Kenshin to lose."

            If I ended up sharing a bed with Misao, I'd hang myself. I saw how that girl slept. She was never in one place for more than ten minutes. Better to sleep on the floor, no matter how hard it was.

            Kaoru was looking at me strangely. It took a total of two seconds for me to interpret _that_ look, and I was quick to keep from having the discussion in front of the others. I smirked, picking up my cards as everyone else did.

            "Keep hoping," I murmured. "New player or old, I can still kick your butt in cards."

            She smiled and nodded in agreement.

            "Sure, Kenshin," she then got a very sly shine to her eyes. "Although... if you lose and you don't want to sleep with Chou or Misao, I would _gladly_ share a bed with you."

            "I'll bet," Kamatari muttered, and I stared down at my cards, trying in vain not to blush. Kaoru and Omasu giggled, and we started the game.

^_^

            Kaoru lost. Call it beginner's luck, but I did fairly well, even if Omasu did beat me by a long shot. Chou threw such a fit over being forced to share a bed with someone that we ended up aborting the bet. Since he seemed to be so picky, I let him take my bed, although he did not appreciate my remarks as I offered. And no, I did not share a bed with Kaoru.

            By one, almost everyone was asleep. Even Chou was out cold, his snoring being the thing that kept me awake. Kaoru and Omasu had been the first to fall asleep, so they had no trouble with the lawnmower in our apartment, and Misao could sleep through the apocalypse. Kamatari was sprawled out on the futon, asleep as far as I could tell.

            I sat on the fire escape, absently braiding the ends of my hair and contemplating smothering Chou with the stuffed gorilla he seemed to find so amusing. He had declared it his mascot earlier, hoping it would bring him luck in the game. Misao still beat him, hands down. Stuffed animals never were the best good-luck charms.

            It was easy to say it was all Chou's fault, but he was not why I was still awake. He was part of the problem, true, but when exhaustion hit, it really did not matter who was doing what in the background. I could have slept. But when my mind was swirling with various thoughts, it did not matter how quiet it was.

            Kamatari's behavior bothered me. I could not recall a time when he had been so antagonistic. That night, however, it seemed like he was constantly trying to bait me. A glance, a word, or a heavily veiled insult, everything he said to me was intended to provoke some sort of specific response. Some of it worked. Some of it didn't. All of it irritated the hell out of me.

            "Kaoru," I startled myself when I said it aloud. Glancing over my shoulder into the darkened apartment, I doubted anyone had heard me. The window was open. I never would have been able to get back in otherwise. Even so, the beds were pushed back against the opposite wall, and with Chou's snoring to block out all other sounds, I was not overly concerned.

            Staring down at the alley below, I considered the thought. Kamatari had been perfectly friendly until Kaoru got back. Granted, he had made that one comment that set me on edge, and sure enough, that was also about Kaoru.

            "You sit out here a lot?"

            Speak of the devil. I sighed and dropped the latest braid I had been working on, staring down into my lap when Kamatari crawled out the window and sat next to me on the grated landing. The fire escape was one of those things that had been built in later, part of the remodeling that made the place inhabitable. They had to meet city codes or something. It did make for a nice place to sit though.

            "Only at night," I replied.

            "Why?"

            "Too dark in the apartment."

            "Ah," Kamatari was quiet for a few minutes, studying our surroundings. It was not much brighter than inside, but there were dim sodium lights on the upper corners of the building, casting an orange glow over the alley. The lighting created deep shadows on the ground, but higher up--like where we were sitting--it was not so bad.

            The silence grew rather uncomfortable, but I was not about to break it. Kamatari would not have left his bed if he did not have something he wanted to say. As much as was on my mind, I did not dare start a conversation that would alter his words.

            "I miss being young," he stated, abruptly ending the quiet stretch. I looked at him, wondering at the odd statement. He stared at his fingers, pale things intertwined in front of him. "Life is so complicated now."

            I did not know what to say to that, so I found myself again playing the part of the silent companion. Kamatari continued, oblivious to my struggle for words.

            "Do you think we might have gotten along better?" he asked quietly. "If I really was a girl? Not just someone who likes to pretend?"

            It was one of those questions I should have expected. Perhaps it had even come to mind, but I never wanted to consider it. Honestly, it was not fair of him to ask me such a question.

            "I can't answer that," I murmured. "You know I can't."

            "Yeah..." he sighed. Glancing at me out of the corner of his eye, he smiled faintly. "Then let me ask this: is it because I'm a guy? You're open to everyone around you, but you're so hell-bent on maintaining your own heterosexuality."

            I stared at him, startled by the question. It was something that most people would never consider saying, and certainly no man would ask another, but Kamatari had always been a bit different--in every way.

            "I..." He was waiting for an answer. I had the feeling he would not retract that question, and I could not brush it off without damaging his opinion of me. The friendship was already on the rocks lately. "I... yes." I could not believe I had actually said that. "Yes, that's part of it, probably."

            "So you're not even open to the possibility..." He seemed saddened by it.

            "It's not that," I mumbled. "It's... I mean, I guess it might have been possible... at one point..."

            He was looking at me with an expression I would have expected to see on a man approaching the lion's cage. It was unfair that he would look at me like that. What did he expect? I was telling him more than I willingly told most people. What else did he want to hear? How could I explain it? It was too complicated, really.

            "I-I..." I was coming off sounding like some stuttering fool. "I was sixteen." Dear god. That had not just come out of my mouth. Kamatari frowned, waiting for me to continue. I wracked my brain, trying to come up with some way to talk my way out of the situation. My mouth moved, trying to produce words that would not come. My throat was thick to the point where I could hardly breathe.

            I coughed and tore my gaze away, focusing on the grating below us.

            "Kenshin..."

            I shuddered, pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them despite the warm night. Scowling in frustration, I realized I had no idea how to explain myself. It was more than any one reason.

            "It's so far away." It was odd, the detachment of that moment. I linked my fingers together and leaned back, staring up at the sky. It was a clear night, but it was nearly impossible to see the stars while in the middle of the city. Only the brightest were visible. "You know what I remember most about that night?"

            "What?" Kamatari's voice was as distant as those stars, faint and wavering.

            "The smell." I couldn't see the stars anymore, but I didn't care. It was like someone else was talking. For the moment, at least, I could pretend I wasn't saying this. It felt right to tell him, but I never knew I would be able to do it. "It was really bad... I thought I would get sick."

            "You didn't?" Hesitant. Frightened.

            "I couldn't," I murmured, closing my eyes and recalling that night.

            _Dark eyes... hands reaching toward me._

            It was still so fresh, even years after the fact. I blinked, coming to myself to some extent, a slight smile coming to me as I recalled something.

            "I was intimidated by the girls in high school. They talked too much. Guys didn't like me because of how I looked. But it was okay..." It really was. I still did not care. "I was glad to start over. It was nice to go someplace where I wasn't that long-haired junkie people whispered about. And I didn't have to hear about the times they swore I was hung over even though I wasn't. So nothing reminded me of that night, and no one could tell me how close I was to becoming another name on the list of victims. But..." I was babbling. In the back of my mind, I knew it, and I forced myself to stop. "But it's okay."

            Kamatari's breathing was ragged, and I looked at him, surprised at the tears in his eyes. I rarely knew him to cry, but when he did, it always seemed to be my fault. Hoping to stop the tears, I smiled faintly.

            "It's okay," I said again. It was not okay, I reminded myself. Just because it happened so long ago did not mean there were not people who still remembered. Enishi had yet to call. "I just... I just don't want to spend my life with a man, Kamatari. I don't want to be treated like a girl. I shouldn't have to let people treat me that way. Not my friends, not strangers on the street."

            "I-I'm... I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice thick and barely controlled. "I never knew..."

            "That's not your fault," I shrugged, leaning forward against my legs wearily. "Aren't you tired? You've got to get up at five."

            "I don't think I could sleep," Kamatari shook his head, sniffing and rubbing his nose.

            "Sorry," I winced. "I guess... I never meant to say that much. Only a handful of people know what happened."

            "Who?" he asked.

            "Uncle Hiko..." I considered that. "The cops who pulled me out of there, some therapists, Kao--" I cut off too late. Kamatari bit his lip, and I closed my eyes, resting my forehead against my knees. At the moment, I did not want to deal with his smart ass behavior. "And now you."

            "I'm sorry for being a jerk tonight." His guilt must have been painfully high because he jumped on that apology like there was no tomorrow. "It was selfish and uncalled for."

            "It's okay," I sighed, the day finally catching up with me. "Let's go inside. I'm tired."

            "Do you want the futon?" Kamatari slid through the window first, turning to offer his help. I waved his hand away and stepped through easily.

            "I don't know," I glanced at him. "You toss and turn much?"

            He blinked, then grinned.

^_^

            The futon dropped down to fit at least two people, so it was not that much of a stretch to share. Kamatari was not that much bigger than I. Despite that, I had a hard time falling asleep. I had never before--well, since I was about sixteen--willingly shared any sort of bed with another guy. Sometime before he was completely asleep, Kamatari had freed his hand from his blankets and grabbed mine, which he held in a death grip for the rest of the night.

            So there I was, laying on a cheap-futon-turned-bed with a gay man who had a thing for me, my hand trapped in his viselike grip. The glowing green numbers on the VCR indicated it was coming up on three o'clock by the time I finally was able to relax enough to close my eyes for more than a few seconds. I hugged my stuffed gorilla to me, it's large body a physical barrier between me and Kamatari, and squeezed my eyes shut.

            My friendship with Kamatari was a constant struggle. A year ago, I would have said it was not worth the effort. At the moment, I considered that possibility. It would have been so easy. He was leaving to go halfway across the country, and long-distance relationships of any sort were difficult to maintain. People drifted apart.

            The sound of someone moving around made me open my eyes again. In the night, with the cautious tiptoe of someone trying not to wake the others, I could not tell who it was. I had to shift, rolling half on my back to see who it was, the motion then alerting the person to my state of wakefulness.

            "Kenshin? Are you awake?" Kaoru kept her voice so low I could barely hear her.

            "Yeah..." I sighed and, seeing her arm not far from my face, reached up with my free hand and caught her wrist. She crouched down next to me, and I quickly closed my eyes as her fingers touched my face, looming in my vision. "Can't sleep."

            "You haven't been to sleep yet?" she murmured in dismay. "It's three-thirty."

            "I know."

            "Are you okay?" She ran her hand into my hair, and I felt her fingers searching for the string holding it back.

            "Not really." I sighed as she tugged the string out. That did feel better, if a little odd, the shift in weight somewhat unexpected. "It's okay." I was saying that a lot.

            "Can I get you anything?" Kaoru asked anxiously.

            "A sedative?"

            She swatted at the top of my head, and I smirked. I shook my head.

            "I'll be okay."

            "You sure?"

            "I think so," I pulled her hand toward me, kissing the back of it lightly. "Go get your midnight snack."

            "I wasn't going to eat!" she hissed. "Mr. Pig yourself."

            "I'm not the one who sneaks meals at four in the morning," I replied.

            "I was _going_ to the bathroom!"

            "Bakery opens at five," I offered.

            "_Kenshin!_" It must have been difficult for her to project her annoyance while she was trying to keep her voice down, but she managed quite nicely. I smiled at her.

            "I thought we could go get something for everyone before Kamatari leaves," I clarified. "They don't serve meals on the planes anymore."

            "Not even peanuts?"

            "Maybe that, but at eight in the morning?" I asked skeptically.

            "You sure you're up to it?" Kaoru frowned worriedly.

            "Yeah. I went on three hours of sleep a night through most of last fall," I pushed at her side, urging her away. "I'll get up at four-thirty, and we can leave before everyone wakes up."

            "Mm," Kaoru agreed. "Wake me."

            "Of course."

            That settled everything. I turned my eyes to the ceiling and resigned myself to a night without sleep.

^_^

            It was another emotional farewell. I was willing to bet I spent a solid two minutes crushed up against Kamatari while he said his good-byes. It was rather uncomfortable, and I tried my hardest not to think about any possible motives behind it. After all, he was leaving and would not likely be back to Minnesota anytime soon. It would not kill me to let him hug me... unless I passed out from lack of oxygen. Fortunately, he released me before it came to that.

            That did make me wonder, though, and I asked Chou about it as we headed back to campus.

            "You suppose he has any plans to come back here?"

            He glanced at me briefly before turning his eyes back to the road. For seven o'clock on a Saturday morning, it was surprisingly busy.

            "Dunno," he muttered. He caught the cigarette pack from the dashboard and tapped one free of the case easily. He held it out to me, and I hesitated before waving it away. Rolling down the window a crack, he lit up and inhaled deeply, tilting his head so most of the smoke went out with the rushing wind. "An hour ago, I would have said no."

            "No?" I lifted my eyebrows at him.

            "Hn," Chou snorted. "Last I talked to him, he said he was going to do something that would make you mad."

            Make me mad? I frowned uneasily. If Chou was talking about all those unwanted comments about Kaoru, then I understood. But if he meant something else, I was lost.

            "He told you, didn't he?" Chou glanced at me again. "I thought he told you."

            "Told me what?" I was really getting nervous. What the hell was he talking about?

            "He _likes_ you, kid!"

            "Oh." _That_. Well, then. "Yeah... We discussed that last spring."

            "That the time your break was screwed up?"

            "Yep." Chou seemed to find that amusing. He grinned.

            "Well, he said he wanted to do it again," he announced abruptly. I coughed, choking on my own breath when his words registered.

            "He _what_?!" I growled.

            "But he didn't," Chou shrugged. "I thought he was going to kiss you or something, but he just walked off like he'd never told me that. Unless all that hugging got to you."

            "Not really," I frowned. I was not sure how to feel about that. On the one hand, I was grateful he decided against embarrassing the both of us in such a manner. Yet, on the other hand, he was treating me differently--all because of our conversation the previous night, no doubt.

            My relief won out, and I decided I was glad he took my words to heart. I sighed and rubbed my eyes wearily.

            "I'm going to miss him," I muttered.

            "Yeah," Chou agreed. "I don't know if I can handle Kevin."

            "He's an ass," I nodded.

            "At least he's male."

            "Shut up."

^_^

**End Notes**: Oooh. Longish chapter. Again, one of those things that seems to be pushing off the real conflict, but it was definitely necessary. *Sob* Good-bye, Kamatari! Anyhoo, here's a brief explanation of some things:

1. Yes, Kamatari was dressed as a boy in this chapter.

2. Carlson, IT, CLA, etc… all different parts of one university. Each college has its own requirements that they feel best round out and fulfill a specific type of degree. IT is the Institute of Technology, CLA is the College of Liberal Arts, and there are more, such as the College of Agriculture, but I could go on for awhile, and you all get the point.

3. The Katsu thing is kind of minor, and you won't see a lot about it. Little details now and then, but mostly it's something Kenshin will avoid.

And now, what's a chapter without some:

**Random Omake**: Down, boy.

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* I had the urge to jump him--

**Kamatari**: _Whoooo_, baby! I _knew_ my day would come! *hugs Kenshin*

**Kenshin**: o.O... Wait! I didn't mean it like--

**Kamatari**: I'll start searching for an appropriate wedding gown... unless, of course, you'd rather... I suppose I could wear a suit.

**Kenshin**: *fainted*

**Kamatari**: We'll be so happy together!... Kenshin?

**Kenshin**: *out cold*

**Random Omake**: Literally.

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* Kamatari and Chou were holding their sides, laughing their asses off.

**Kamatari**: What the--?! Come back here!

**Chou**: O.O

**Kenshin**: o.O Did someone's ass just run past me?

**Chou**: Catch it!

**Kenshin**: The hell I will! Keep it away from me!

**Kamatari**: I'd love to, sweetheart, but I gotta catch it first!

**Kenshin**: Ewwwww.

To the reviewers! Again, I'm answering questions. The rest who reviewed, I still love you all!

**supernaturalove**: I guess you could just say that _Fitz_ is conservative. Guy/girl interaction is all well and good, but living together in such an open situation is a bit different.

**Calger459**: Thanks for the spelling correction. I knew I was screwing it up, but I wasn't sure. I went and fixed that.

**Anuradha**: I try to put the interaction in there, but if Kenshin's not there with them, it's difficult to do. I'm afraid you won't find much romance with the other couples this time.

**Chiki**: Kamatari/Chou question answered in this chapter. And that Kenshin-afraid-of-water thing is from _Life's a Dance_. Sad that my stories are blending in peoples' minds like that…

**Megumi**: *choke* _Mating_?! Erm… I think of rabbits and various wild animals when I see that word. If we're talking 'doing the dirty deed,' then you'll have to wait to see. I will not, however, be writing any lemons.

**futagoakuma-tenshi02**: You two are going to confuse me… Oh, and 'goosed' is generally when someone pokes at you to make you jump—more often than not in the butt.


	27. Family troubles

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. I am not making any money off this. Leave me alone. (Please?)

**Notes**: To the multiple questions about will I be raising the rating of this fic: No. Any possible romance between Kenshin and Kaoru (or anyone else) will remain strictly within a PG-13 rating. That is, no sex. 'kay? Good.

**Warnings**: Some mature themes of a sexual nature, drugs, troubled friends, and a random girl.

That enough for you? Onward!

My Life

            School started out as it always did. I went to class, professors gave out homework like their class was the only one that mattered, and somewhere between work and school, I attempted to have a social life. Most of my work hours were on the weekend, and Sundays in a library copy center were not exactly exciting, so I did get a lot of homework finished there. It was a slack job if ever there was one, and since I took all the unsavory weekend hours, I got paid more. Incentive, I suppose. I was being paid to do homework half of the time.

            I was not sure how or why it happened, but Kaoru took on a Friday night class. That just was not fair. The end of the week was intended to allow us to wind down and go out. She willingly made her week longer. I told her she was crazy, but she said it was the only time she could get the psychology class she wanted. I decided both she and the professor teaching the class were crazy. Just as a matter of personal preference, I avoided night classes at all costs. One time was enough, and I had to drop that one after two weeks. It was painful to sit through a three hour class, no matter how many breaks the professor gave us.

            Living with three girls got easier as we settled in with some general rules. It was too much to expect them to keep everything clean, but they were kind enough to keep some of their more personal belongings put away where I did not have to see them. Lights went out at eleven, but we invested in a bookshelf that was pretty tall and was filled with enough books (and various other objects) to block out any light and most of the sound coming from someone at the computers. Bedside lamps sometimes remained on until well after midnight, but again, that was nothing that a blanket pulled over my head would not solve. It settled into a comfortable routine.

            "I still haven't seen your apartment," Sano complained one day as we shared lunch in his dorm hall. He had returned to act as CA for the ninth floor. Ironically, three out of the four wings were girls' rooms. Megumi was not too pleased, but we all knew Sano was not interested in any eighteen-year-old girls, no matter how hard they tried to get his attention.

            "It's not for any lack in opportunity," I pointed out. "Come over before we go to the gym Friday night."

            "Got to prep the girls?" he smirked.

            "Like you'd care," I shot back. "You're almost as bad as them."

            He just shrugged and grinned. It was that easy. He came over that Friday night, then went running with me because we remembered it was volleyball night. I had nothing against the sport, but I would not have been caught dead playing it. The running turned to jogging before we hit a mile, which then rapidly deteriorated to a brisk walk, and by the third mile, Sano was strolling along, his long strides barely making me walk fast. When it came to running, he was not accustomed to anything more than a brief sprint.

            "June nineteenth," he announced as we walked through Uptown. It was a detour I usually avoided, considering it was difficult to run through the crowds.

            "What's that?" I wondered.

            "The wedding date," Sano muttered. "Megumi's got the club reserved--the entire goddamned club."

            "How many people are coming?" I frowned.

            "About five hundred," he shrugged. "Give or take seventy-five."

            "Five..." I stared at him in shock. "I don't think I even know that many people."

            "Her family's big in the medical community, she said," Sano gestured helplessly with his hands, shoulders lifting in another shrug. "It's going to be fancy. She'll be going along to pick out the tuxes too, so beware."

            "Shit," I groaned. "I've got to wear a tux?"

            "White, but no tails," he grinned and reached back to flip my ponytail. "This will stick out like a sore thumb."

            "Nice," I sighed. "You've already planned so far ahead?"

            "She's starting to look for bridesmaids dresses again," Sano nodded. "She's got _six_."

            "Geez."

            "I think Megumi gave Jordan your number, too," he grimaced. "So you can expect a call."

            "Goody," I flinched at the very idea. "Okay... What do I need to do?"

            "Talk to Megumi about that," Sano chuckled. "I'm just an innocent bystander. Megumi and her overbearing mother are handling it. I wouldn't worry yet. She said nothing will really need to be done for another five or six months."

            "Sounds good," I sighed. "Hey, let's run back over the bridge."

            "It's too far!" Sano whined.

            "It's not even a quarter mile," I pointed out, amused at his indignant scowl. "Unless you think you can't handle a little jog."

            "You little shit," Sano groaned, picking up his pace as I moved away from him. "Get back here!"

            "Nope." I started jogging.

            "I'm going to dump you over the rail," he threatened.

            "I'd like to see you try," I shot back. "You're too slow."

            "You--!" He lunged after me, fingers swiping at the air when I darted away. "Get back here!"

            "Sure," I called over my shoulder. "I'll just stand here, and you feel free to throw me off the bridge. I don't mind at all."

            "I don't think the fall would kill you!" Sano laughed.

            "Well then! By all means!" I had to struggle not to laugh as well. "Let's give it a try!"

            So, I got him to run the last quarter mile to his dorm. Sano was breathing heavily by the time we got inside, but I was energized and ready to keep going. It was amusing to be the one who wore down Sano. Usually it was the other way around.

^_^

            Kaoru was in the apartment when I got back. I went straight for the kitchen, pulling out a can of pop and dropping into a chair next to Kaoru. She was tapping away on her laptop, humming along with whatever CD she had in the drive. The cord of her headphones was trailing through a blob of pizza sauce on the table, but I did not say anything. She'd figure it out soon enough.

            "You got mail," she stated, then went back to diligently ignoring her homework and playing solitaire. I dug through the piles of junk mail until I found an envelope addressed to me. I picked at the edges of the envelope, trying to open it. It was sealed as tightly as anything I'd ever gotten.

            "I thought you were going to the gym today," Kaoru murmured, and I looked up from the letter for a few seconds.

            "We went for a run instead," I shrugged.

            "No basketball?"

            "Only on Mondays and Wednesdays," I confirmed.

            "Is that co-ed?" Kaoru wondered, offering a tiny smile when I blinked at her in surprise.

            "Anyone can go," I nodded slowly. "It's mostly guys, though."

            "Is it fun?" As if I would continue to attend some intramural sports if I hated it. Kaoru was just making small talk, so I indulged her with a smile and a nod.

            "But there's one guy who bugs me," I added, frowning a bit. "He just started coming last week, and I think he likes picking on me."

            "What do you mean?" Kaoru jumped on that immediately. I smirked.

            "It's nothing," I assured her, shrugging carelessly. The envelope was fighting me, but I was determined to get it open. "He's just a jerk, constantly getting into my face and sometimes knocking me over. Nothing really bad or against the rules of the game, though."

            "He's probably a really aggressive player," Kaoru agreed.

            "Ha!" I muttered.

            "Hm?" she lifted her eyes from her solitaire game long enough to look at me in confusion. "What?"

            "Got it open," I explained, pulling the card out. I frowned, my mind more on the conversation than the mail. "Normally, I'd agree. But..." I glanced at her, noticed her worried stare, and aborted the description. "It's no big deal. No one gets hurt."

            "But..." Kaoru was not satisfied with how I had ended the conversation. I was noticing something odd about the card in my hand. "Was he--"

            "_Geez!_" Yes... something really strange about that card.

            "What?!" Kaoru was up in an instant, only to jerk back down when the cord of her headphones declared itself too short to accept the move. I ignored her for the most part, staring dumbfounded at the mess in my lap. No sooner had I tilted that card up, then about a handful of sugary-white crystals went pouring out of it. "What happened?!"

            I shoved my chair back, standing and letting the crystals cascade to the floor. Wiping at my pants, I wondered who would send me such a dumb gag. Kaoru was watching me, rapidly figuring things out and curious because of it. She picked up the card, glancing at the front, which was just a bland, floral print, and flipped it open.

            "It's blank!" she exclaimed.

            "Blank?" I stared at her, still thwapping at my pants to get the stuff off. It was going to take a trip to the laundry to get that out.

            "Sugar?" Kaoru asked.

            "I guess..." I had no idea what it was, but I suspected it was not sugar. It lacked the familiar stickiness of that particular crystal. "What's the return address?"

            Kaoru glanced at the envelope, then reached to flip it over.

            "It's blank, too," she murmured. I looked at her, and she shrugged. "Strange."

            Strange indeed. Why would anyone send a gag card and not take any credit for it? Sano would never miss the opportunity to laugh in my face. However, Sano was the only person I knew who would send such a stupid thing. Plus, the white substance over my pants would most definitely have been sugar if it was his joke. I considered my hands as I held them ready to clap away the stuff. If it wasn't sugar...

            I could _feel_ the blood draining away from my face as I tasted the stuff. No... it was not sugar... My stomach all but fell to the floor, my heart slamming up into my throat where it remained for several seconds before dropping back into its standard position and started practicing for a marathon. It hurt like hell, but my head was spinning to the extent that I barely noticed.

            "Kenshin?!"

            Catching hold of the back of my chair, I managed to keep from staggering. Kaoru was on her feet, reaching for my arms to steady me. I could not focus on her. At that moment, everything revolved around that stuff on my pants, the chair, and the floor and the wild question: _What does he want from me?!_

            "I'll get a vacuum," I stammered, rather disjointed as I tried to make sense of things. It was like a sudden slap in the face, unexpected and shocking. "I should... I should clean this up. And new pants..."

            It was difficult to keep on track. One moment I was walking to the storage closet, and the next I glanced over to the dresser and started heading that direction. I could tell Kaoru was confused and frightened. She followed me, tugging on my shirt and trying to get me to stop. But I couldn't stop. The thought of what might happen if I did was just too terrifying to consider, so I kept moving.

            "Kenshin?" she kept calling my name. I glanced at her, mildly alarmed by how her face wobbled and shifted to the side, blurring and coming back into focus. "Kenshin! Hold on a minute!"

            And suddenly she was up against me, this blessed heat compared to the icy chill within my body. Distantly, I heard her soft moan, and I pressed forward, seeking the retaliation I knew would come. I could barely gasp, desperation taking hold, her warmth too much to handle.

            It was different than anything I'd ever experienced, that intense feeling of desire. I wanted to... anything. I didn't care. As long as it was me and Kaoru, her lips against mine, her body thawing the frost of mine.

            She seemed to be of the same opinion, and suddenly she was taking control of the situation, pushing me backwards. Her skin was hot beneath my fingers, shirt easily moved up until my hands hit something foreign and less giving. She moaned again, and I moved past the barrier, ignoring it for the time, and up to her shoulders, hugging her as close to me as was physically possible.

            My legs hit something, and we tumbled back, not really sitting but not quite laying on what felt like the futon. Kaoru was heavy against my chest and thighs, hands digging into my hair, pulling us closer together. Her fingers tightened, and I winced at the pain exploding through my scalp as she used the leverage to force me down until we were laying completely on the futon.

            It was the hair pulling that did it. The world which had been swirling insanely around me just seconds before snapped back into place, shockingly clear. Along with my vision came a different presence of mind. It was not better or worse from before, but it was different. I jumped away from it all--the card and its detestable contents, the sudden fear brought about by it, and the resulting thoughtless seduction.

            A new yet familiar sort of terror settled into the pit of my stomach, and I jerked back. The comforting press of Kaoru against me was suddenly an intolerable barrier, and I squirmed, twisting to get away from her.

            "No!" I blurted, panting, voice cracking in horror. Her arms were still tight around me, half trapped beneath my weight and half clinging to me in stubborn refusal to let go. I couldn't breathe, my vision swimming out of focus again as I struggled to pull away. Kaoru was mostly underneath me by that point, when my strength gave out, my shaking limbs failing me. The world flashed a painful white, and I fell.

^_^

            The blackout lasted only a few seconds. Had it been much longer, Kaoru would have been on her feet and calling a hospital. As it was, she was frightened, calling my name and shaking me lightly. I groaned quietly, my chest still heaving as I struggled to catch my breath. It occurred to me that the lightheadedness was caused from the hyperventilating gasps for air, and I shifted, pressing my face into Kaoru's shoulder in sad attempt to lower my oxygen intake. It did work to some extent, though.

            "I'm sorry," Kaoru whispered, her fingers cool against my cheek. I shuddered. "I pressed too hard."

            She thought it was her fault? I was the one who had started it. It was not my worst nightmare, but it came close. The worst would have been this situation on the night of my wedding. Kaoru and I had not discussed marriage or sex, and to rush into something (and with such poor timing) was a mistake. I never was an overly moral person, but I had a difficult time rushing into a sexual relationship, panic attack not included.

            "No..." I murmured, shifting until I was less on her and more on the futon. It was a tight squeeze, the two of us laying on the upright piece of furniture, and Kaoru moved with me, letting me rest my head on her shoulder again. "I shouldn't have done that."

            "Are you okay?"

            "Yeah..." Sticky from a cold sweat but capable of breathing once more. "I need a shower."

            "Now?" Kaoru asked in surprise.

            "Yes," I pushed away again, cautiously climbing over her and stumbling a step until I regained my center and was able to walk without toppling. "I'll... just shower now. I'll clean up the mess in the kitchen when I get out."

            I had not answered any of her questions, but she did not press the issue at the moment. My sudden retreat from such an intimate moment had probably shocked her out of such a course. It was just as well. With any luck, I could come up with something believable while I cleaned up.

^_^

            _"I don't care! Just _do_ something for yourself!"_

            Kaoru's frustrated words plagued me that night, almost more than that awful card. Both were horribly intertwined, and no matter how I tried to separate them, it just was not possible. Kaoru would not be so upset if not for that card and the reaction it provoked from me. I would not be resentful of her or anyone else, although I could understand her reasoning.

            _"This is not healthy, Kenshin. The mood swings, the weight fluctuation, anxiety attacks... You're sick! Please! Just go see someone!"_

            Depression ran in my family. My father was a manic depressive, the disease kept in check by a lot of medication and his wife. Things went downhill for him when she got sick. He lasted less than a year after she died. Tomoe was the one who found him. I was there at the time, but she wouldn't let me into the room. Crying hysterically, she had just shoved me out the door and into the neighbor's house where we waited until Aunt Tokio came to pick us up.

            While Mom died early of cancer, my father had no excuse. Honestly, I thought it was selfish. Depressive or not, he had a choice. He could have lived--at least long enough to raise his own children. People depended on him. He had no right to take such a cowardly way out. I hated him for a long time after finding out he had taken his own life. Later, when Tomoe died, I began to understand. I still resented him. After all, if he had remained alive, perhaps none of it would have happened, but if Tomoe did still die, at least I would have had someone other than my overbearing uncle to fall back on. Almost fifteen years later, I no longer cared. He was a distant presence, unimportant and mostly forgotten. If he was not strong enough to stand against the hardships of life, then he was no role model for me.

            However, Kaoru was right. My responses to stressful situations were distressingly similar to my father's. I was furious with myself for even thinking that way. After working so hard to get where I was, would I really take such an easy way out?

            _"I love you, Kenshin..."_

            She seemed sincere, eyes tear-filled and frightened as she begged me to tell her what was wrong. It was enough to shock me free of the dark spiral of searching for escape routes that would end up hurting everyone around me. And yet, all I could do was accept her desperate embrace and apologize. I kept apologizing, and she cried into my hair, refusing to loosen her grip around me. We sat like that until she fell asleep, and I guided her to bed.

            She slept fitfully for an hour before settling into a deeper slumber. I laid on my own bed, trying without success to get some sleep. Late, I heard Omasu creep into the apartment. She showered and made her way to bed. Later than that, Misao returned. I could hear her giggling by the door, saying good night to Aoshi. Then, I had to listen to her lovesick sighs while she got ready for bed. It was irritating.

            By about two in the morning, I was beyond tired. My mind went blank, to my great relief, and I stared into the dark room thinking of nothing. For awhile, I thought it would be another sleepless night, but I finally dropped off around six. About two hours passed before Omasu was nudging me awake and holding out the phone.

^_^

            Being coherent after too much stress and too little sleep was nearly impossible. I stared up at Omasu dumbly, trying to figure out the purple thing in front of my face. The girl holding it smiled sympathetically.

            "Sorry," she murmured. "He said it's important."

            "Who?" I groaned. I missed the phone on the first swipe, so Omasu placed it in my outstretched hand.

            "Couldn't tell," she said apologetically. "I forgot to ask."

            The world was against me. I glanced at the clock and saw the red numbers declaring it to be a little before eight in the morning. Who in his right mind called someone before eight on a Saturday morning? Silently complaining about assholes with emergencies, I put the phone to my ear.

            "Yeah?" It was a curt opening, but it was better than what I was thinking. _This better be good, or I swear to god I'll do something drastic._ Right. Like hang up the phone.

            "Ken?" The deep voice was definitely familiar. I blinked, the haze receding as I registered the uncertain tone, not to mention the unusual address. Unless insulting me, he rarely called me anything but my given name.

            "Sano?"

            "'gumi called... the wedding... 't's done. Over."

            "_What?!_"

            Okay, that convinced me to sit up quickly. My foot got tangled in the blankets as I tried to climb out of bed, and I hopped around for a minute, cursing under my breath while I freed myself.

            "Why?!" I demanded. "What happened?"

            "...Long st'ry..."

            He was drunk. I could hear it in his voice, the slurred, slow words, his dull tone. I'd never encountered him while he was so bad. As far as I was aware, he had never drunk himself beyond the point of intelligibility.

            "Sano... where are you?"

            "Mmm... Super 'merica..."

            That narrowed things down to a couple dozen gas stations across the city. I swore again, digging through the dresser for a pair of pants and a sweatshirt.

            "Where?" I asked again, hoping he could understand enough to answer me.

            "Gas..." he mumbled. The operator broke in then, announcing Sano's time to be almost up. I heard him fumbling for more change, and a few seconds later the operator left. I took the opportunity to yank the shirt over my head, quickly putting the phone to my ear again before Sano tried to talk again.

            "What else is around you?" I tried. "What street are you on?"

            "Um... River... river--"

            "Riverside?" I prompted.

            "Maybe..." he mumbled. "I dun get it... Meg..."

            "What else is there?" I cut him off. His broken heart could wait for a few minutes. I had to go get him before he wound up passed out by the side of the road. "Restaurants? Buildings? What?"

            "Ummm... a bridge... freeway, 'think."

            "Good!" I blurted. At least that narrowed things down to fewer than twenty possible locations. "Good, I'm coming to get you, okay? Don't leave. Stay where you are."

            "I..."

            "We'll talk about it as soon as I get there," I assured him, locating my shoes and jacket. "Just hold on."

            The operator cut in again, and I growled in frustration. No one would benefit at all if I blew up at the recording, though, so I hurriedly told Sano to wait once more before the line beeped, the dial tone soon following.

            "Shit," I muttered, hurriedly dropping the phone onto the counter before shoving my feet into my shoes. I glanced at the others in the room. The girls were looking at me in confusion, probably not fully able to figure out what was happening by my side of the conversation. I smiled hopefully. "Would one of you give me a ride?"

^_^

            Omasu, being the only person fully dressed, offered to drive. She borrowed Kaoru's car and, using the vague descriptions I gave, set off on I-94. We got lucky. Sano was at the gas station* on the corner of Riverside and the interstate exit. I could see him sitting at the bus stop, and Omasu pulled into the station, and between the two of us, we managed to get him into the car.

            I was hesitant to bring him back to our apartment, but Omasu pointed out that there was no where else we could take him. It was rather inappropriate for a dorm CA to be seen in such a condition, and he was still pissed at Katsu, and Megumi's place was out of the question.

            "Come on, Sano," I winced at the sickening odor of alcohol. It was all over him, on his breath, his clothes, his general body odor. The desire to put my hand over my nose was nearly overwhelming. Somehow I resisted the urge and snatched the small, glass bottle out of his hand. "What is this?" I glanced at the label. "Whiskey? Damn it, Sano. Where'd you get this?"

            "Grossss... gre... store," he reached for the bottle, but I capped it and yanked down the middle partition, shoving aside the stiff barrier between the seat and the trunk and shoved the bottle through. "Fuck..." There was no way he could get at it without climbing out of the car and going directly into the trunk from the back.

            "You've had enough," I retorted. "We're here. Get out."

            It took some doing, but between me and Omasu, we pushed and pulled Sano up the two flights to our apartment. I immediately dragged him into the bathroom, ordering him to take off his clothes while I started the shower. He did not do too well on his own, and I ended up having to do most of the work for him. I didn't bother with his underpants. He could wear those into the shower for all I cared. Sano did not agree, though, and he whipped those off as well.

            He yelped at the icy spray of water, trying to jump back out of the shower again. In his state, he was not able to get past me, and I just shoved him back. We repeated the procedure a few times before he finally blew up at me.

            "_Goddamn it, Kenshin! I'm awake!_"

            I let him out of the shower. He accepted the towel I offered, shuddering while I turned off the water. When I glanced back, he was reaching for his clothes. I snatched them away, flinching at the smell.

            "Hey!" Sano complained.

            "They stink!" I snapped. "It's warm enough. Use the towel."

            "Kenshin?" Kaoru's hesitant voice came through the door.

            "Yeah?" I continued to glare at Sano, unwilling to be the first to glance away.

            "Aoshi left some clothes here last time," she said. "Misao said it's okay if Sanosuke wants to use them."

            I tilted my head in bold challenge, and he grumbled under his breath, glowering down at the floor. Satisfied, I opened the door, nodding my thanks when Misao handed me some jeans and a white undershirt. I considered letting him wear his old underwear, but my sense of personal hygiene would not allow it. Instead, I located a pair of boxers that were a little too big for me. They would still be too small for Sano, and if he managed to fit in them at all, I would never be able to wear them again. Such was the result of bringing him to a place in which resided four people who were all smaller than he was.

            I went back into the bathroom with the clothes, only to see him hunched over the toilet, heaving up the contents of his stomach.

            "God..." I moaned, closing my eyes against the sight. When the toilet flushed, I opened my eyes again, holding out the clothes. "Here."

            "I'm..." he swallowed, taking the things out of my arms. "I think I'll stay in here awhile."

            He was apparently expecting to spend more time throwing up. Fine with me. I nodded and turned to leave. Something occurred to me, and I hesitated.

            "If you feel better by noon... you can come with me to work," I said quietly. "If not... I'll call in."

            "Right," he agreed, and I left the room, closing the door on the sounds of him retching. Hung over friends were just barrels of fun.

^_^

*Actually, this gas station is _not_ a Super America, but I cannot, for the life of me, recall what it really is.

^_^

            Sano's dorm was across the street from the library, so he ran to get some homework while I punched my timecard and went to help open the copy center. The girl I worked with was already there. Kari lived in the same dorm as Sano, although they did not know each other.

            "Hi, Kenshin. Rough night?" she greeted when I dropped my bag on the floor under the desk out front. I nodded absently, pulling open the window and glancing at the orders on the countertop. There was only one, and it was a small one. I thanked god for small favors.

            "You mind if I have a friend here?" I asked out of politeness. "He had a worse night."

            "Sure," she smiled. "Just don't slack on me."

            "Fair enough," I rolled my eyes. We both knew that was impossible. We rarely did anything in this place. Kari grinned and picked up the book on the counter.

            "What's up?" she wondered. "You look sick."

            "Tired," I sighed. "I was going to sleep in, but it didn't happen."

            "Let me guess," Kari mused, tapping the copying machine until she had the settings she wanted. "You went out partying last night, got drunk, crashed and burned until your girlfriend dragged you out of bed."

            "We're talking about me here," I snorted. "Not you."

            "I don't have a girlfriend," Kari stuck her tongue out at me. "And my boyfriend has been really lame lately. I haven't had decent sex in weeks."

            "I don't need to know this," I complained, grimacing at the very thought. Kari was a good looking girl, there was little doubt, with flippy blonde hair and flirty blue eyes and a flair for fashion unlike anyone else I had met. That did not mean I wanted to hear about her sex life.

            "Sorry, hon," she laughed. "Mmm. Is that your friend?"

            I glanced up to see Sano leaning against the counter, looking in at us, his expression utterly dreary.

            "Come around the side," I gestured in the right direction. "I'll let you in."

            Walking past Kari, I glared at her appraising smile.

            "Don't even think about it," I warned. "He's engaged." Maybe.

            "Whatever you say, Kenshin."

            "Sure," I grumbled, walking into the back to let Sano in. "Just patronize me. I don't mind a bit." I pulled the door open to see Sano looking around uncertainly. That faded, and he walked in.

            He was still wearing Aoshi's clothes, proving he had not spent much time in his room at all. It was kind of funny, really. The pants were too long but otherwise fit perfectly. The seams of the shirt strained over Sano's shoulder, but it also fit just fine other than that. Aoshi and Sano had such similar builds. That made me wonder, though... was he still wearing my boxers? Those would never be the same.

            "We got in a fight last night," he said without hesitation. I nodded for him to continue, digging through the fridge near the safe to find the drinks I had left there during the week. I handed a bottle of water to Sano and opened a bottle of Sprite for myself. "She said I was too selfish and cocky."

            "What prompted this?" I asked. I knew Sano and Megumi bickered frequently, but they seemed to enjoy the bantering.

            "Well, I lost track of time yesterday, and by the time I got back, I was late for our date," he explained, slinking after me to the front. He immediately claimed a chair by my bag, dropping his own books on the desk and downing half the water in the bottle. "One thing leads to another, and suddenly she's shouting and crying and saying it's never gonna change."

            "And she called off the wedding?" I sought to confirm.

            "Yeah," he nodded miserably, fumbling through his pockets and finally glancing down. I blinked as he held up his hand, the glint of a diamond drawing my attention to the ring on his pinky finger. "She threw it at me and told me to leave."

            To her credit, Kari was keeping her mouth shut through the whole thing. I hefted myself up onto the counter and sat there, idly swinging my legs as I considered the situation.

            "You think she's really serious?" I asked finally.

            "I don't know," he shrugged, resting his chin on his hand, elbow braced on the desk. "I hope not. She said she was calling the country club to tell them to cancel our reservations."

            "Not a chance."

            I glanced at Kari in surprise. She grinned when she saw she had both of our attentions.

            "No woman would make such a rash move," she said. "She'll wait a week before canceling anything."

            "Right," I agreed quickly, looking back to Sano. "And you know Megumi is meticulous about everything she does. You've got time to get her back."

            "She's pretty mad at me," Sano grumbled doubtfully. "I doubt she'd even talk to me."

            "Get her flowers," I offered. "Roses."

            "Too typical."

            "Lilies?" Kari added.

            "Too Easter."

            "Tulips," Kari tried again.

            "She hates 'em."

            "Get her _dandelions_, Sano!" I glared at him. "Just stop making excuses!"

            He groaned, rubbing at his bloodshot eyes tiredly. The machine in front of Kari thunked loudly, grinding, and then whirring to a halt, a little light flashing at her.

            "Whoops," she smiled. "Jammed."

            I sighed and hopped off the counter to help her pull the crumpled paper from the rollers inside the machine. Noting the low paper signal, I slammed the top back down on the copying machine and went to get some 8-1/2 by 11 inch paper. Kari stepped back while I loaded the drawer and pushed that shut.

            "Thanks," she murmured.

            "Sure," I glanced over to Sano. He was watching us, a strange, contemplative expression on his face that I did not like one bit. "What?"

            "Would you talk to her?" he asked abruptly.

            "Me?!" Was he insane? "Sano, I... She... Megumi is..."

            "She likes you, Kenshin," he pleaded. "You're like her little buddy. Come on! Would it kill you to do this for me? My engagement is on the line here!"

            I groaned, imagining myself stuttering in front of Megumi's sly, flirtatious smile. That woman terrified me, and Sano wanted me to go confront her for him?! He was out of his mind!

            "Okay..." Correction--_I_ was out of my mind. Did I just agree to that? "I'll call her this week."

            "God, you're a lifesaver," Sano grinned, clapping his hand against my back as I walked past him. I gave him a strained smile and nodded.

            "You owe me big time," I sighed. "Geez... any other woman..."

            "Megumi's not that bad," Sano laughed, good mood restored for the time being. "She likes teasing you."

            "Easy for you to say," I grumbled. "She likes embarrassing me is what she likes to do."

            "That too."

            "_Big_ IOU," I reminded him.

            "Sure, sure," he waved me off. "At least I didn't ask you to go talk to Katsu for me."

            "I would have said no," I scowled. "That man--"

            "He likes you too."

            "Yeah," I grimaced. "Why do all the men chase after me?"

            "Because you're short and pretty," Kari called out. I glared at her.

            "No one asked you."

^_^

**End Notes**: Stuffs… um, this chapter turned out so long that I broke into two parts. You will notice that I will touch on things, and then jump away from them. There's a reason for this, and praises for those who can figure it out.

Kari. She is a random, rather unimportant person who I created as a mixture between two people I knew. Any appearances she makes will be brief and likely insignificant. She's just a coworker.

**Random Omake**: Isn't that another movie with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan?

**Computer**: You've got mail!

**Kenshin**: Whoa! The email announcement sounds just like Kaoru!

**Kaoru**: You think I make money just baby-sitting?

**Kenshin**: ...That's really odd.

**Random Omake**: Depends, the gift of the gods

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* I ignored her for the most part, staring dumbfounded at the mess in my lap.

**Kaoru**: *snicker* Most people your age don't have accidents while they're awake, Kenshin.

**Kenshin**: ...I'm not sure I appreciate that title, Fitz-dono.

*snicker*

Reviewers: Fewer this time… I think it was just a blah kind of chapter. Anyhoo, I responded to _everyone_ this time. Ooooooooh. Yay me. Right.****

 **yuki**: Thanks for your enthusiasm. I hope you're not too disappointed that Kamatari is gone again.

**NightRain**: I'm surprised at how many people like Kamatari here when so many can't stand him in the series.

**C-Chan**: Please don't misinterpret that 'get it on' statement. Seeing the reviews, I am starting to regret writing that. Explicit lemons are against ff.net rules, and I intend this fic to remain the rating it's at.

**Fuuko-san**: I'll do what I can with K/K. I'm not a big fan of Kaoru, so it's a challenge for me.

**Gypsy-chan**: You thought his life sucked then? Whooo… it's getting worse. *smirk*

**futagoakuma-tenshi02**: Too early? What time where you reading? If it's like 2am, then get some sleep. That's more important.

**futagoakuma-tenshi01**: That's okay. I can handle a little confusion.

**DarkHorse**: I'm impressed and startled. I don't know if I would have the patience to read anything for that long. And Aoshi _will_ make another appearance in later chapters.

**aku-chan**: *grin* Yeah… I had that one planned from the start. The suggestions of you and a few other people just made me _really_ want to write it.

**Chiki**: I've got at least… *counting on fingers* three or four more chapters. Not sure yet.

**AaarikaaA**: Not a lemon, but yes, some have asked if I will be making Kenshin and Kaoru more intimate. And I apologize if I offend you, but it surprises me that people as young as you are reading this (so far into the story that is). Perhaps I'm just a conservative, but I might have jacked the rating up higher originally had I anticipated that, just to be safe. And what do _mean_ scarred for life over shounen ai references?

**omochi**: Kenshin is definitely more laid back, I'd say.

**marstanuki**: The rating won't change because of K/K interaction. And Kenshin is sharing a bathroom with Omasu because I want him to, and because Misao and Kaoru being the first ones there, claimed the bathroom with the tub.

**Calger459**: Kamatari won't disappear entirely, just… mostly. *snicker* I'm too amused to see that almost-supporting-yaoi comment. I don't get that much, even if it isn't _really_ much.

Shaeya Sedjet Namir: *snicker* Kenshin: *holds up two spray cans of Lysol* Let's go. 

**Hana Himura**: It's okay. I understand. *holds up chicken soup (no noodles, I hate those) as a peace offering* But you're not going to see it in this story. Fitz is too shy to post that kind of thing, and for the most part, I've discovered people don't want it (or if they do, they won't admit it. ^_~) Hope you feel better!


	28. Dinner and drinks

**Disclaimer**: Everyone knows I own nothing. Heck, most of the places in here are real, and I own none of them.

**Notes**: I am contemplating a change in the rating of this story. Due to mature content both in prior and upcoming chapters, I feel it may be appropriate. If I do decide to change it to an 'R' rating, I will announce it.

Oh, and I saw this She-Ra shirt at Hot Topic that I would kill to have. *does little cheer* She-Ra rules! Ahem. Yeah… so, uh… read warnings. Read story. Check.

**Warnings**: Alcohol usage, some minor sexual content, and Scrabble.

Kaoru: Ummm… Fitz? That sexual content is not between me and Kenshin. I have a problem with that.

Fitz: …

Kenshin: *reading ahead* Actually… so do I. Change that right now, Fitz-dono.

Fitz: Demanding, aren't you?

Onward!!

My Life

            So, I pushed aside my own problems for awhile to deal with Sano's. He went to the dorm feeling much better and more confident, and I went to the apartment miserable as could be.

            Talk to Megumi. Right. And what was I supposed to say to her? I didn't know anything about relationships. Take the tenuous one with Kaoru. I was barely holding that one together.

            "Kenshin?" Kaoru greeted me the instant I walked through the door. "Someone called for you while you were gone. Do you know a Jordan?"

            "Nooooooooo," I whined, leaning back against the door as I shut it and let my head thunk against it in frustration. "What did she want?"

            Kaoru smiled, amused by my reaction.

            "She didn't say," she giggled. "She left her number. It's on the fridge."

            "The world hates me," I moaned, glancing at the number. "Okay... okay, I'll call her. After I use the bathroom."

            I had not eaten all day. I yanked a low fat, chicken TV dinner out of the freezer and dropped it on the counter as I held the phone to my ear, waiting for someone to pick up. Glaring at the big _Low Fat!_ scrawled across the label, I considered going grocery shopping with Kaoru and Omasu the next time they went. Girls and their diet fetishes.

            For one glorious moment, as the phone hooked into the fourth ring, I thought no one would answer. My hopes were dashed as the line clicked.

            "Hello?"

            _Damn._

            "Jordan?"

            "Kenny?"

            "What did you want?" Not exactly the nicest way to start a conversation, but it had not been the most uplifting day. I could not bring myself to care.

            "Oh! Have you heard?" she demanded. "Megumi's beside herself."

            "Good for her," I muttered.

            "What did you say?"

            "Why?" I asked mildly.

            So I got Jordan's detailed description of the argument Sano had already explained. I listened patiently, poking holes in the plastic covering the dinner tray before shoving it into the microwave and setting the timer.

            "So, what should we do?" Jordan concluded.

            "Do?" I echoed, eyeing the time as it ticked down the last minute.

            "Megumi doesn't want to talk to Sanosuke, but she doesn't want to break up," Jordan clarified. "We need to help them!"

            Fifteen seconds... Fourteen...

            "I know!"

            Twelve seconds...

            "Don't eat anything yet, Kenny."

            Ten... nine... don't... _what_?

            "What?" I blurted.

            "Meet me at Chipotle on Washington in twenty minutes," she suggested. "You're right around there, right?"

            The microwave beeped at me insistently. I stared at it, crying inside as I figured out what Jordan was saying.

            "Yeah..." I murmured.

            "I'll treat," she said. "I'll be watching for you."

            The phone clicked, the line momentarily going dead before the dial tone kicked in, buzzing in my ear. I stared at the phone for a moment, confused and irritated. Muttering to myself, I put it back on the cradle and pulled the plate out of the microwave. Walking past the table, I set the plate down next to Kaoru. She looked up from her accounting homework, blinking at the steaming tray.

            "Um... thanks?" she looked up at me. "What's up?"

            "Jordan wants to meet at Chipotle," I stated, scowling to prove I was not at all happy with the turn of events. "I won't make it if I eat this."

            "Want me to save it?" she offered.

            "What? So I can re-heat it and eat soggy chicken later?" I replied. "No. Eat it or dump it. I don't care."

            "You're crabby."

            "I don't want to see this woman," I admitted, stepping into my shoes again. I grabbed my jacket off the hook and yanked it on. "I, uh... I did not react well to her the last time we saw each other."

            "Why not?"

            "It's a long story." I checked my pockets, making certain I had money and ID, before looking back at Kaoru. I sighed and offered a pained smile. "I'll tell you later. I'm going to be late if I don't go right now."

            "Want a ride?"

            I shook my head and opened the door.

            "Later," I muttered, pulling the door shut behind me. I jogged down the stairs and to the street. It was not too far to the restaurant, and I took off running, grateful for the excuse to do so. Jeans were not ideal for running, but I tolerated it, and I reached Chipotle in twenty-five minutes, only a little late for the meeting.

^_^

            Jordan greeted me with a wide smile and a warm embrace. I stood stiffly as she hugged me, unable to bring myself to return the friendly hello. We were seated moments later, and I sat across from her, clutching my water glass like a lifeline.

            "How's school going, Kenny?" she asked congenially. "Doing well?"

            "Fine," I answered curtly. I had resolved to at least _attempt_ to get along with this woman--for Sano and Megumi's sake--but it was so damned uncomfortable to go out of our way to meet each other like this. She greeted me like an old friend, and it seemed that I should have been compelled to respond in kind. However, I still could not look straight at her without remembering everything. My weekend was already pretty shitty, and she was not making it better. Even so, no one could say I did not make some sort of effort to be polite, even if I did choke on it. "You?"

            "It's slow going," she smiled warmly. "Things have been better since last winter."

            I lifted my eyebrows, surprised by that comment.

            "What happened last winter?" I had to ask.

            "Megumi didn't tell you?" Her head lifted slightly, relief very clear in her eyes, followed rapidly by embarrassment. "Oh... Well..."

            Maybe I should have stopped her, but I was too busy wondering what could have this woman so flustered. She flushed and lowered her eyes, picking at the bit of paper that had once wrapped her napkin and silverware.

            "I was in the hospital for awhile," she murmured.

            "Hospital? Why? Were you sick?" I blurted, then wished I had not. She just shook her head, chin dropping further, and she swallowed with obvious difficulty.

            "Ahh... no," she winced. "Well, yes... It's complicated really."

            I slouched down warily, wondering what she was talking about. She looked pale in the dim light of the restaurant, and I wondered what was wrong with her. Since she mentioned it, she did look thinner than before, her skin a little less healthy. Her hands trembled slightly as she reached for her water.

            "I'm sorry," she said, her voice suddenly hoarse and unsteady. "I promised myself I wouldn't do this. You've got enough problems without hearing about everyone else's."

            "No... wait a minute," I frowned in irritation and--though it surprised me--slight concern. "What happened? Why are you sick? What's wrong?"

            It seemed very important to discover the answers to those questions. Damned if I knew why, but Jordan was important, at least, she had been to my sister, and I could not ignore that.

            She was startled by my sudden interest, and she blinked at me before answering.

            "Complete kidney failure," she murmured.

            I stared at her. Kidney failure. It sounded bad, and what little I recalled of my biology classes told me it was, but I really had no idea what it implied. If it landed her in the hospital, it must have been something serious.

            "What...?" I shook my head, bewildered and wanting her to continue. "What does that mean?"

            Jordan sighed and smiled faintly.

            "It means going in for dialysis regularly--I've got an appointment for tomorrow morning," she clarified. "And I'm on a waiting list. Transplants are more successful these days."

            "So you're really sick?" I asked, trying not to wince at how that sounded. I could not picture this woman, always so cheerful and vibrant, in a hospital gown, pale and dying. No. I had to remind myself that being in the hospital did not mean she was dying. "You're okay, though... right?" The very thought made me nervous, and I had to confirm it. "You'll get better?"

            She smiled, lifting a hand to her mouth and laughing quietly. I frowned in irritation, waiting for a response. The people around me were deteriorating, it seemed. First it was Kamatari, then Katsu and Sano, Megumi and Sano, and then Jordan. We were too young for this stuff in our lives.

            "Kenny, you have no idea how nice it is to hear you talk like that," Jordan said finally. "I'm living somewhat normally, if you don't include the frequent dialysis treatments. My health insurance provider is trying to find loopholes in our contract. As long as I don't miss any appointments, I do all right. And if I get a transplant... maybe I'll get better."

            How could she be so calm about it? I stared blankly at the menu on the table before me, trying to pull the information together. The waiter stopped by, and we ordered drinks before waving him away, neither of us anywhere near ready to order food. My appetite was gone anyway, the shock of the entire day enough to push that to the back burner.

            "I didn't invite you out to discuss my health issues," Jordan cut through my train of thought, and I looked at her anxiously. She was smiling. "But thanks for worrying, Kenny."

            "I didn't want--"

            "You're friends with Sanosuke," she interrupted my uncertain apology, waving off my concern. "Has he said anything to you?"

            "I talked to him today," I nodded. That was the understatement of the week. Out of consideration for Sano, I decided not to mention I had dragged his soused ass back to my apartment that morning. "He's... depressed."

            "Those two love each other," Jordan agreed. "We need to do something."

            "Like what?" I demanded. "I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly a marriage counselor."

            "No," she laughed. "That you most certainly are not. But you _are_ Sanosuke's friend. His closest, if what Megumi told me is true."

            "I don't know about that," I sighed. "Okay... what do _you_ think we should do?"

            "Talk some sense into him," Jordan said, smiling as if that was the perfect option. "Megumi doesn't want to break it off. She loves him. But Sanosuke left. Since you're his best friend, maybe you can get him to see that he needs to return."

            How did this happen to me? Sano wanted me to talk to Megumi. Jordan wanted me to talk to Sano. I needed to make a desk plaque labeling me the relationship mediator.

            "I already talked to him," I protested.

            "Did you _talk_ to him, or did you just offer him a shoulder to cry on?" Jordan retorted.

            "He did not cry on my shoulder, and I talked to him," I grumbled. Oh well. If it was easier to go along with it... I sighed. "I can talk to him again."

            "Wonderful!" Jordan grinned. "What would you like to eat, Kenny?"

            "Food," I glared at my menu. "Anything as long as it's edible."

            My hunger returned with a vengeance. Jordan laughed at my response and ordered for the both of us.

^_^

            I returned to the apartment by around eight, ready to drop. Something about a full stomach just did that to a person. That added to the two hours of sleep I'd gotten the previous night just about did me in. The only thing keeping me going was the steady flow of adrenaline, which had me slightly buzzed and hyper most of the day. A bed would change that, I was certain.

            The phone rang as I closed the door, and I reached over the counter to pick it up, kicking off my shoes and shoving them to the side.

            "'lo," I muttered.

            "Is Kenshin there?" I could just hear the question over the rustle of my spring jacket as I struggled out of it.

            "You got him."

            "Kenshin, this is Megumi."

            I froze, stunned to the core. What were the chances? Really! Sano, _Jordan_, and then Megumi! This just was not my day.

            "Hi..." I said cautiously. "Can I do something for you?"

            "I'm sorry for calling like this," she sniffed. Great. She had been crying--still was from the sounds of it. "But I wasn't sure who else I should talk to."

            Moaning inwardly, I leaned back against the counter and slid down until I sat on the floor.

            "What's wrong?" I asked finally.

            "It's Sanosuke..."

            For the third time that day, I had to hear yet another version of the fight from the previous night. All the while I was wondering why they all called me. Sano, I understood. Jordan? Not a clue. Megumi! She was the _last_ person I expected to call. To be perfectly frank, I was not sure why they chose me, of all people, to talk to. I was terrible with empathy, and I rarely had any worthwhile advice to offer. More often than not, I just sat in restless silence, thinking I should say something but afraid anything I might say would make things worse.

            So I just listened to Megumi sob and talk for well over thirty minutes, muttering some nonsensical sympathy every now and then when it seemed appropriate.

            "Would you mind meeting with me?" she asked finally. "Nothing's open, but I can make coffee or something."

            "Mmm..." I was not going to be very good company, but I did not have it in me to refuse a crying woman. "Where do you live?"

            She told me, and I hung up the phone. Studying the address, I decided I could find a bus to take me there. The last bus usually left at nine--I glanced at the clock. Just enough time. Grabbing my jacket again, putting on my shoes _again_, I walked back out of the apartment.

^_^

            Megumi lived alone in a small, University-owned apartment a few miles away from where I was. I was not stupid enough to make the trip on foot with nightfall rapidly approaching, and even if I was, I was too tired to last. Twenty minutes by bus, and a block from the stop, I found myself in the front entrance of the building. I found her room number and pushed the button. A few seconds later, the door clicked and buzzed loudly. I pulled it open and made my way to the elevator.

            The door was open when I got there, and Megumi greeted me with a pale face, bloodshot eyes, and a box of tissues. She ushered me into the place, closing and locking the door behind her before following.

            "I was just about to pour myself a drink," she said, sounding much more composed since last I heard her. "I'll pour you one, too."

            "I shouldn't," I said warily, trailing after her into the kitchen.

            "You'll have to get a ride anyway," she shrugged off my protest, pouring yellow-tinted liquid into some ice-filled glasses. I never expected Megumi to be the type of woman who would keep such hard liquor in her home. "Here."

            I accepted the glass, not certain what else to do. She was obviously too upset to listen to reason, or she never would have offered the drink in the first place.

            "I've been talking and crying so much..." Megumi sighed, throwing back a deep swallow that had to have burned horribly all the way down. She seemed none the worse for the wear, however, and she set the glass down. "Do you mind if we do something else for awhile?"

            "Sure." The rule was: agree to anything she said. It was the easiest way to handle the situation, and at the moment, all my mind could handle was simplicity. Something tingled harshly in my throat, and I belatedly realized I had actually sipped from the glass of Scotch. I recalled the bottle of whiskey I had thrown into the trunk of Kaoru's car and reminded myself that it would be a good idea to tell her of its existence _before_ she unknowingly chanced upon it.

            Megumi paced aimlessly for a minute before stopping in front of what looked to be a linen closet. She pulled it open and stared up at the top shelves. Curious as to what she was seeing, I walked over to her and followed her gaze. I lifted my eyebrows in surprise.

            "How about Scrabble?" she suggested.

            "I've never played," I shrugged.

            "You've never played?" she asked incredulously, standing on tiptoe to reach the game. She was not overly tall, but she was taller than I was, so I did not offer to help. A few seconds later, she had the game in her hands. "I didn't know there was anyone who had never played Scrabble."

            "I'm sure there are plenty of us out there," I murmured, sitting at the small, two-person table against the kitchen wall. Megumi unfolded the board and put it in front of me. She shook the box, the letter pieces rattling back and forth with the movement, before placing that on the table as well. "You'll have to explain the basics to me."

            "There's paper in the drawer over there," Megumi pointed vaguely, retrieving her glass and topping it off with more Scotch. Drinking while she was upset... she and Sano really were a match made in heaven. "Get a pen, too. We'll keep score."

^_^

            Some of the words on the game board were not words, I was certain. Megumi was lazy and careless, smiling when I told her 'quichen' was not the way to spell the room we were in. I knew there was a 't' in that word somewhere.

            Megumi was drunk. I kept sipping at my own drink, but the level of liquid never changed, so I knew I could not be. Besides, I said I would not drink that much alcohol ever again. Uncle Hiko said not to, and so did the therapy people at the rehab place, and I technically was not old enough...

            "Hey, 'shin," Megumi smirked at the nickname. For some reason, I was not bothered by it. "You always want to be English... for a major?"

            "No," I frowned at my glass, wondering how long it had been since the ice melted. "Just when a counselor said I had to work for something." Oddly enough, I was having a hard time putting sentences together. I decided it must have been Megumi's presence. She always made me nervous.

            "Really? Huh," she sighed. "I wanted to be a doctor since I can remember. It was so fun to follow Daddy around the clinic, being his little nurse."

            "Mm," I agreed, glaring at my playing pieces. I pushed a few out on the board, shoving them around until it looked right. Megumi glanced at them and scribbled some numbers down on the paper under my name. "I don't like doctors."

            "Then you don't like me?" she blinked in surprise.

            "Not you," I said quickly. "Just sick and doctors and death... I don't like it. Hey... Megumi?"

            "Hum?"

            "Why didn't you tell me Jordan was sick?"

            "She's sick?" Megumi blinked, then smiled. "Oh, right. I didn't think you want to be bothered with her. She said she doesn't want to tell anyway."

            "So it's really bad?" I prompted. Somehow, everything Megumi had said made perfect sense. "How does something like it happen? Is it run in the family?" Wait... that didn't sound right, but it must have been because she answered.

            "Not for her, I guess," she said sadly. "Jordan was sad. She takes something to help, but something in February set things off."

            "Set what off?"

            "She was drinking," Megumi lifted her own glass, saw it was empty, and refilled it. I noticed she poured some in my glass, but I did not need anymore because I had not been drinking that much. "She was drinking and got drunk. She mixed up something, some drugs or something, and the combination was bad. It hurt her. Wrecked her system."

            "She did it to herself?" I tried to make sense of that.

            "Mm," Megumi nodded, suddenly serious and completely coherent. "She was on suicide watch for a month afterwards."

            "Shiiiiit..." I mumbled. "That's not good."

            "No..." Megumi sighed. "Nothing's good right now. Nothing is right."

            "Nope," I agreed. "Everything's screwed up. That's not how you spell 'couch.'"

            "What's..."

            "There's no 'i' in it," I nudged the extra letter away. "You're cheating again."

            "Cheating?" she sighed. "I cheated on a boyfriend once. Look where it got me..."

            "Not Sano!" I scowled at her.

            "Nope... but with him," she smiled mischievously. It faded. "He hates me now."

            "No..." I shook my head.

            "I was such a bitch," Megumi moaned. "But he wasn't nice too."

            "Sure."

            She reached across the table, knocking several game pieces onto the floor. Most of them were hers, though.

            "It's crazy," she said desperately, her fingernails biting painfully into my arm. "I'll never marry at this rate!"

            "Is it so important?" I frowned, annoyed that one of my words had been jarred out of place. I reached to push it back into the right spots, but I could not remember where it had been. "Damn... you're twenty-one, aren't you?"

            "I'll never get to show him..." she said mournfully.

            "You got some secret or something?" I wondered. My mouth and throat were really dry. It would be okay to take a little sip to help with that, so I did. "What time is it?"

            "Ummmm," she looked around. "It's dark outside. Late."

            I saw the clock over the stove, but I was too tired, and the numbers wavered, impossible to read. I stood, tripping over something that I swore had not been there seconds ago, and closed my eyes against the spinning room.

            "I should go..." I mumbled. I was tired, and my stomach was churning unpleasantly. I prayed I was not coming down with something. "Where's the bus--"

            Megumi giggled and followed me as I went searching for my shoes.

            "That's the hallway to the bedrooms, 'shin," she informed me.

            "Oh," I turned, blinking at her blurred face. I thought how she looked very similar to Kaoru when Kaoru had her hair down. But she was taller. Staring out into the main room, it seemed impossibly far to the front door. "God, I'm tired."

            "Me, too," Megumi offered.

            "Couldn't sleep last night," I explained, although she probably did not much care. "Got a card. Some sugar."

            "Sugar?"

            "Not sugar," I stumbled, and she was in the way. Megumi giggled again, gripping my arms as I clung to hers. My balance was almost completely gone, my vision having gone completely out of focus long ago. "Something bad. It's gonna get me killed is all. So... bad night's sleep."

            "We all got our problems, don't we?" Megumi sighed, leaning back against the wall. My arms were still caught by her sides, her fingers digging into my biceps so it almost hurt, and I stumbled forward with her. Her breath was loud in my ear, and I cringed at the strong scent of alcohol on her.

            "You and Sano drink too much," I informed her.

            "Sanosuke?" she murmured. Suddenly, she was crying, leaning her head on my shoulder and whimpering noisily. "What am I going to do?"

            "Go to bed?" I asked hopefully. That was my solution. Tired, drunk--drunk? I wasn't drunk. Just really tired. But Megumi was drunk, and she needed to stop drinking and go to bed.

            "You know... we haven't slept together yet." My mind was not able to fully comprehend that question. I tilted my head to look at her, but we were too close, and I could only get a good look at her ear. She was wearing silver earrings in a sleek little doggy shape.

            "Of course we haven't." That should have been obvious. She did not need to tell me that.

            Megumi laughed, sounding strange while she was still crying.

            "Do you want to?" she whispered, voice husky in my ear.

            "I don't like sleeping with people," I replied, tugging back as my heart started racing in my chest painfully.

            "It's fun," she insisted, pulling me back to her. Her mouth was moving toward me, and I turned my head, her lips scraping along my cheek.

            "You're drunk," I protested.

            "So're you."

            "I'm not..." I mumbled. "I can't... I promised."

            "You drank a lot." Her hands were at my sides, fingers sliding along the waistline of my pants. I grabbed for her wrists, fumbling a few times before I caught them.

            "Don't," I growled. "Sano--"

            "Isn't here," she sobbed. She opened her eyes, glaring defiantly into mine. "So he can live with the results."

            I jerked back angrily.

            "I thought you called _him_ selfish!" I hissed.

            "He's always with you," Megumi's eyes were watery and red. Her face was wet and getting wetter. "There must be something good about it."

            "_God!_" I shoved away, staggering and almost falling. The wall stopped me, and I coughed as the air was forced from my lungs with the impact. This was ridiculous. Megumi's words made me furious to the point that I could not see straight. I couldn't see straight before, but that was beside the point. "What the hell is _wrong_ with you?! Sano loves you!"

            "He doesn't show it--"

            "The hell he doesn't!" I was shouting, and Megumi cringed back against the wall, but I didn't care. She deserved it for saying that. In fact, if Sano was there, I'd have yelled at him, too. "The two of you are idiots! Sano loves you, you love him, and don't you _dare_ shove me into the middle of this because I have nothing to do with it! I barely _like_ you! I _don't_ want to sleep with you. I don't want to sleep with _Sano_. I don't want to _fucking sleep with anyone_! If you weren't so wrapped up in the sex part of things, maybe you'd notice that there's more to people than that!"

            Megumi was sobbing by that point, sitting on the floor with her face in her hands. Staring at her, the anger seeped out of me, the exhaustion sweeping in, dragging me down again. I covered my face with my hands, willing the world to start making sense again. My head hurt, my stomach telling me the Scotch I'd ingested was not sitting well. I sank to the carpet, curling forward against my legs and refusing to pull my hands away from my face. Maybe if I could not see it, it would not really be there.

            Sano's fiancée... ex-fiancée... was crying so loudly it was impossible to block her out. I didn't want to deal with her at the moment--I couldn't. She had been right. I was drunk. The very thought distressed me because I _had_ promised never to let it go so far again. Unthinking, I had allowed it to happen, and all I could see were the therapists, doctors, and Uncle Hiko glaring down at me in disappointment.

            Crawling away from Megumi, I forced myself back to my feet and into the kitchen. Somehow, I located the phone and fumbled with it. I squinted at the black print numbers on white keys, trying to figure out the right ones.

            The first try was wrong. I hung up when a young voice called out, "Mommy! Someone's trying to sell us something!" The second try had me slamming the phone down again when Uncle Hiko's gruff voice demanded, "Who the hell is this?" Third try was the charm... I was amused by that thought for a few seconds until Misao asked who was calling again.

            "Kaoru..." I mumbled, struggling to hold onto consciousness. I was so tired... "Is she there?"

            "Who is this?" Misao demanded.

            "It's..." Hold it... I had to reach for a name to insert there. "Augh... Kenshin. I need... please get her."

            "You sound stoned, Kenshin," Misao informed me.

            _"Is that Kenshin?"_

            "Put her on!" I pleaded.

            _"Give me the phone, Misao."_

            "All right, all right," Misao complained. "No need to be so haste--_hey_!"

            "Kenshin?!" Kaoru's voice boomed in my ear, and I jerked the phone away from my face. Shaking my head to get rid of the shock, I sighed with relief. "Where are you?"

            "Umm, Megumi's," I replied. "Having some... problems."

            "You're not talking clearly," Kaoru stated. "What happened?"

            "She kept filling the glass," I explained. It was not my fault. Really. If she would have let me finish a glass without refilling it, I would have stopped. Then, I would not have gotten drunk, and Megumi would not be crying because of me yelling at her. "She's crying... I didn't... She's crying!"

            "Okay, Kenshin," she murmured. "Where is Megumi's place?"

            "Ahhhhh..." Didn't I write it down at one point?

            "No, never mind," Kaoru assured me. Thank god. "I'll be there soon, okay? Just don't go anywhere."

            "Righ--" I winced as a hiccup cut my breath short. "Okay."

            "Hold on."

            "O--" The phone clicked in my ear. "--kay..."

            Grumbling to myself, I let the phone fall. It clattered to the floor noisily. I could barely hear Megumi crying anymore, so that was nice. Too tired to care what she was doing, I leaned against the cupboard and closed my eyes. Kaoru would be coming soon.

^_^

            The next thing I remembered was waking up with my head in a vise and a terrible flavor in my dry mouth. I cringed away from the light in the room, squinting at the flowered pattern of the couch cushion in front of me.

            _Ohhhh, Uncle Hiko's going to kill me_.

            "Are you awake yet?"

            "Barely," I moaned, registering the hand on my head and the sound of Kaoru's amused voice. "Where am I?"

            "Megumi's apartment," she replied. "The sofa in the living room."

            "Megumi?" I wondered.

            "On her bed," Kaoru explained. "Sanosuke is with her."

            "Ummmm..." The previous night was not easy to recall. I remembered the Scotch quite clearly, and how Megumi had kept refilling my glass so I was convinced I had barely had anything. Years without drinking had made me susceptible to the liquor, and it probably had not taken that much to get me disturbingly off balance. I hoped to god I had not told Megumi anything I would regret.

            "I don't know how you could do anything while you were as drunk as that, but you must have said something useful," Kaoru said, tapping my head lightly. "She kept apologizing to Sanosuke. I think they've forgiven each other."

            "Great..." At least something good came of that night. Although personally, I never wanted to be alone with Megumi again. Certainly not while she had any liquor within arm's reach.

            "You look awful," Kaoru thought it proper to inform me. "You think you can get up? We should get going."

            Something Kaoru had said finally clicked, and I rolled onto my back, shading my eyes against the morning light to look at her. She smiled.

            "Sano's here?" I asked.

            "Well, _you_ weren't much help in getting me here last night," she shrugged and stood. "I figured Sanosuke would know, and he offered to come with me. Good thing, too, because you slept right through the doorbell. Sanosuke's got a spare key still."

            "I guess we're lucky," I muttered, sliding off the couch cautiously. Standing was not much worse than laying down. I felt like shit either way. At the moment, I could have gone for a gallon of water and a lot of Aspirin. The sick feeling in my stomach was not as bad as the headache, but considering I felt like just woken up from a concussive blow, that did not mean much. I still staggered and held a hand over my mouth as if that would do anything other than alert Kaoru to my state of being.

            "You going to be okay?" Kaoru asked curiously.

            "Umm..." I straightened, wincing as the person in my head stopped using a sledgehammer in favor of a good, heavy stick. I was not yet certain whether or not I would actually be able to hold my stomach. "I think... I think so."

            "Hangover?" she predicted. "I imagine it's pretty bad."

            "Try not to sound so sympathetic," I muttered.

            "It's your own fault," Kaoru shrugged. "What did you say to Megumi anyway?"

            "I don't..." I frowned in attempt to concentrate, not resisting as Kaoru pulled me around the couch and started pushing my jacket over my arms. "We were playing a game."

            "Yeah, we found that on the floor," Kaoru giggled. "Shoes."

            I stepped into the shoes obediently, having neither the desire nor the strength to protest. Kaoru held my arm to keep me steady as I did this.

            "I was tired," I sighed. "I wanted to leave, but... I don't know!"

            "Well, we're lucky you had enough sense to call," Kaoru informed me, her arm around my back, guiding me to the elevator. "Sanosuke spent about an hour with Megumi in the bathroom. It sounded awful. But at least she didn't choke or anything with him there. As for me--" she offered a mock glare, but I could not find it in me to respond. "I got stuck trying to wake you up. You know, I had to _carry_ you to the couch?"

            "You didn't have to," I reminded her.

            "I can't imagine you'd have been comfortable on the kitchen floor," she retorted, then grinned. "And I thought it was pretty funny when you kept swearing and calling me Hiko."

            I blinked. Well, her hair was black. That was, of course, where the similarities between them ended. I decided it was not worth the effort to think about it, and I sighed.

            "Can I go home and sleep now?" I pleaded, shading my eyes as we walked outside.

            "You can go home, shower, and brush your teeth," Kaoru shook her head. "You might even be on time for work."

            ...I completely forgot about that. Surviving the previous day had not been too difficult, with people to keep me company and adrenaline pumping through my veins to keep me wired. Hung over and still tired, this was not going to be a good day. It was the weekend from hell, going from bad to worse to downright ludicrous to horrible, all in a matter of forty-eight hours. I could not wait for Monday to come so things could return to normal.

^_^

**Notes**: Right, so no big scene between Megumi and Sano. I didn't have it in me to write it, and it occurred to me that Kenshin should have passed out long ago, thus, he did not see them forgive each other. Yes, Jordan did attempt suicide. It was something that bothered me. I mean, why should Kenshin be the only person affected by Tomoe's death? Jordan was present and saw her best friend and friend's brother get hit by a car. (This does not justify her trying to kill herself. Suicide is never a good solution, and I encourage anyone who has ever felt such an urge to go seek help immediately.)

**Random Omake**: Ooooh! Is that one of Michelangelo's works?

**Kenshin**: I located a pear and gave him that.

**Sano**: *staring at fruit* What's this for?

**Kenshin**: I don't have any figs, so you'll have to us the leaf from that.

**Sano**: Do I look like a piece of artwork?! Give me some actual underpants!

(This was the result of me not paying attention. Yes, Fitz originally wrote 'pear' instead of 'pair' at one point. Like none of you have ever done that. Hmph.)

Reveiwers. Hi all! A little long… feel free to skip if this doesn't interest you.

**futagoakuma-tenshi01**: I'm curious at the origins of the question, but I don't mind answering—I type everything. It's easier to go back and change things then, and it's faster for me. My thoughts tend to rush miles ahead of my fingers.

**marstanuki**: I don't know… I think I could force the issue further. *pulls out stick and starts beating dead horse*

**Hana Himura**: Ah… We'll see. It takes some real inspiration for me to write WAFF.

**beverly highland**: Yes, that was the first time she said that. And I'm not sure if I'll broach the subject of virginity in this story. It's rather out of place, I think.

**Fuuko-san**: Whoa. Calm down. It's going to be K/K. As far as my opinion of Kaoru changing, I'm afraid that it's permanent. I don't hate her, I just don't love her. (And I've already written in the mandatory Kaoru-can't-cook-worth-crud scene.)

**C-Chan**: Yeah, the whole let's jump away from the problem thing is a little difficult to see when you're tired.

**Cherry Delight**: Happy birthday! (Uh… Slightly late.)

**Gypsy-chan**: That would be called a distraction. Some work better than others, and writers just like to have any excuse for romance.

**Vesca**: *imagining an Enishi-shaped rat* Kind of disturbing, actually.

**Chiki**: Mmm, you're right on all accounts. A slightly subtle chapter title, but I liked it.

**t.anjel**: Wow. You're a sadist.

**omochi**: Why does everyone (well, two people now) think I'm going to ditch Kaoru?

**Hooha-sama**: Obviously? I never said he was or was not a virgin. And sheesh, I'd hope your life at college isn't like this. Most people don't even come close, though, so I'm sure you're safe. And feel free to ask on anything you aren't familiar with. You're not the only one, and god knows I've asked about these things too.

**EK**: Welcome back and thank you.

**Calger459**: Ah, but Sano does not need to tell Kenshin the whole story. He was out with Kenshin that evening. And I used to work in a copy center, yes. It was great fun.


	29. People are not meant to be alone

ANNOUNCEMENT--PLEASE READ: 

Next chapter, I will be raising the rating to 'R.' Sorry if this bothers any of the younger readers, but the content in previous chapters (i.e.—violence, homosexuality, sexual assault, strong language) requires a higher rating and as I'm sure you've noticed, the story is growing slightly more intense and will definitely warrant the R versus PG-13. Keep this in mind when searching for the story. I hope to continue updating about once a week, so keep an eye open!

**Disclaimer**: I don't feel like coming up with anything. Refer to another chapter.

**Notes**: Right, I think that announcement covered it.

**Warnings**: Original characters, nasty innuendos, Kenshin in costume, _Aoshi_ in costume.

Onward!!

My Life

            The wedding was back on, Sano no longer wearing Megumi's engagement ring around his little finger. He informed me of this when we met in the gym locker room. This again led to questions about Saturday night.

            "I'm surprised you talked to her so soon," Sano said as he pulled off his sweatshirt. "Getting her drunk was something I wouldn't have thought you'd do."

            "She was the one with the booze, not me," I protested. I decided against telling him that Megumi had been the one to coerce me into such a position. If Megumi wanted him to know, she could explain. "She did that all on her own."

            "I should have known," Sano groaned. "She must have had a lot, though. You'd be surprised at her tolerance for that stuff."

            "More than mine," I shrugged. "She kept guzzling that down. I don't think I had half as much."

            "Kind of pathetic, if you think about it."

            "She's bigger than I am!" I said quickly. "Not to mention I haven't had any alcohol in years, and you guys go out drinking every weekend."

            "Not every weekend," Sano snickered.

            "What's this about people getting drunk?"

            I bit down on my lower lip to keep from snapping something rude at the man who had interrupted. Sano was too amused to be irritated, it seemed, because he usually said something. Neither of us liked this guy. However, Sano just grinned, and we both looked up to see the newcomer standing a few feet away, smiling broadly.

            "Just some fun we had this weekend, Mickey," Sano chuckled.

            Mickey--the hated nickname for Michael, or _Mike_ as he preferred to be called--barely flinched at the address. He and Sano were constantly glaring each other down. Neither did anything drastic. It never got past a few veiled insults, but they couldn't stand each other. Mike was the culprit. With his cocky, I'm-better-than-you-all attitude, no one liked him.

            He was a bit taller than Sano but not by much. His hair was so dark a brown it was almost black, but after having known a number of black-haired people, I could tell the difference. His dark eyes were small and deep set, and those along with his perpetual five o'clock shadow gave him a shady, untrustworthy air. I knew plenty of people who looked disreputable (take Sano, for example), but he had the attitude to match (whereas Sano was as dangerous as a kitten unless seriously provoked). He never overtly did anything, but he always seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, which was why I frequently ended up on my butt on the floor whenever he joined our basketball games.

            "Really," Mike smiled. I would have called that expression snakelike, and I pinched my lips together, turning away to shut my locker and snap the lock into place. "I can imagine it."

            "Let's go," Sano slammed his own locker shut and clapped a hand against my shoulder. "Move it, Mickey."

            "Sure thing, Sagara."

            We followed the sleazy guy out into the gym. As usual, I put Mike out of my mind and focused on the ball. I was getting better, even able to score some points every now and then. Really, it was just nice to focus on something that had nothing to do with school or any other problems I might have had. The stress relief was just what I needed.

^_^

            Some stress relief that turned out to be. I spent more time on my back than playing the game, no thanks to _Mike_ taking up defense over me. It was difficult to ignore a man who insisted on leaning in so close he was tripping me up half the time. The fourth or fifth time I hit the floor, I blew up at him.

            "This is not a high contact game, you idiot!" I snapped, shoving off the floor to glare up at him. I really hated being so short at times like that. "You don't have to get so close!"

            "Ease up, Red," Mike said mildly. I jumped at that derisive nickname.

            "Don't call me that!"

            "It's just a game," he added, completely ignoring my protest.

            "_Exactly_," I shot back sarcastically. "So you can lay off a bit, don't you think? If you want dance, go someplace else. And I hate partners who step on my feet."

            He scowled, his face reddening as he struggled to find some sort of comeback. Sano stepped in at that point, and he lost his opportunity.

            "Back off, you two," Sano interjected, his hands on our chests and shoving us away from each other. "Mickey, go guard someone else. I'll take Kenshin."

            "I'll bet you will," Mike muttered as he pulled away. He was quiet, but not soft enough to prevent me from hearing.

            "What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?!" I was seeing red by that point. This man had taunted and provoked me from the instant he saw me, and I was fed up. I went to the gym to relax, not get shoved around by some ass trying to prove himself.

            "No, you don't," Sano grunted, catching me before I could lunge at the bastard. I didn't bother trying to continue forward when Sano had his arm around me, holding me back. It was not that I was incapable of getting past him--I was faster, after all--but he was right. It was better not to fight in the middle of the gym over something as stupid as that.

            Mike wasn't even smiling. He just glanced at me impassively before taking up his position over the guy Sano had been guarding originally.

            "Shit!" I snarled, itching to start another fight.

            "Don't," Sano warned.

            I snorted and jerked my arm away from him, turning to stalk off to the side. I considered leaving, but I refused to let Mike force me out of there. Sano waited patiently as the game began, no doubt wondering if I _would_ leave. Letting out my breath irritably, I walked back in. Sano nodded and crouched in front of me, smirking.

            "Let's see you do anything _now_," he muttered.

            "As if you're fast enough to stop me," I returned with an amused grin. The ball whipped past his head, and I caught it. Twisting, I ducked around him and took off down the court.

^_^

            The week flew away from me. I had a math exam on Monday, but I was not overly worried about it. My journalism class was more difficult. Frankly, I did not like it. English was fine, but one class in journalism was enough. It was a good reason not to make that my major, not that I could see myself out in the field with dozens of other reporters, fighting for an interview.

            At the moment, I was staring at an assignment syllabus, trying to decide if the professor was crazy or just sadistic. I was going to have to work my butt off if I was going to get an interview and have the initial report typed up by the following Friday. It was a beginner's journalism class! This was ridiculous.

            Kaoru chose that time to wrap her arms around my neck from behind. I smiled, grateful for the distraction, and turned to look up at her.

            "Wait, don't move!" she scolded, voice tense with concentration.

            "What are you doing?" I asked warily. Her fingers fiddled with something at the base of my throat, and I was tempted to turn anyway, just to see what mischief she was up to this time.

            "There!" she pulled away, and I glanced down. Blinking at the knotted string and the additional weight on my shoulders, I lifted my arm. Cloth slid back, and it became evident as to what this was.

            "A cape?"

            "Put on a white button-up shirt," Kaoru suggested. "And black pants. And let your hair down."

            "What's going on?" I wondered. Glancing up, I took in the sight of my girlfriend. "Damn. What's the date?"

            "Halloween, you dope," Kaoru grinned, adjusting the hat on her head. I did not think witches' hats were meant to be perched at such a jaunty angle, but it seemed that she was joking about it because she soon returned the pointed hat to its original position. "I'm a witch. You're a vampire."

            At least she did not make me wear that cat costume again. I sighed and went to the wardrobe to find a shirt. Kaoru trailed after me, tugging on my hair impatiently until I gave in and pulled out the elastic. She then produced a brush and followed me around, yanking at my hair with it.

            "Another trip to the Armory?" I asked, somewhat whining. This was still stupid.

            "Nope," Kaoru's hand appeared in my face, along with a tuft of my hair. "You need to get this trimmed. Look at those split ends!"  
            I stared at the hair, strands splitting into two and three at the ends.

            "Um... I'll get right on that," I murmured. Who cared? It was in a ponytail most of the time anyway. "What are we doing tonight?"

            "Halloween on Friday," Kaoru announced. "You know how rare that is? We're having a party."

            "I thought the place looked cleaner than usual."

            "Shush!" she laughed. "It'll be fun."

            "Who's coming?" I wondered, tossing the cape over a chair so I could pull my shirt over my head.

            "Looking good, Kenshin!" I winced at Misao's loud whistle. I should have known better than to change my shirt in the open.

            "Aoshi, Aoshi's friends, Sanosuke, Megumi, Tae, Chou--maybe, and anyone else who wants too as long as they leave any alcohol outside," Kaoru ignored Misao, picked up another clump of hair, and started brushing the tangles out of it. "Keeping in mind the type of people, Omasu is pulling out your CD collection rather than any of ours. That okay?"

            "Whatever." I hated buttoning up dress shirts. Granted, this was not the nicest shirt I owned. I would not use that for a costume, but it used to be very nice, and I struggled with those buttons. "You think this is a good idea?"

            "It'll be fun!" Kaoru claimed. "There!" She fluffed my hair out. It felt strange having it down but not bad. Kaoru stood in front of me and studied me for a few seconds as I yet worked at those buttons. "All right. One final touch!"

            "What's that?" I looked up, and she held out a small, silver tube. "No."

            "It's just lipstick, Kenshin."

            "Exactly," I groaned as she pulled the cap off and twisted the thing up. It was _really_ red. "Lipstick. That doesn't belong on me."

            "Just for a costume," Kaoru assured me, as if that made all the difference in the world. I tensed when her fingers caught my chin, forcing my face up.

            "Kuu-roo," I mumbled, a little put out by how her grip made it so hard to speak. "I don't--"

            "Stop talking," she ordered. "Keep your face like that and say 'Ohhhh.'"

            "For god's sake--"

            "Ohhhhh," she reminded me.

            "I'll get you back for this," I grumbled before doing what she wanted.

            "I got some vampire fangs, but I won't make you wear those," Kaoru said as she dabbed at my lips with the lipstick. "They make it hard to talk and eat, but I really think you should wear them."

            "You're already--"

            "_Ah!_" she cut me off. "Ohhhhh."

            "You're too slooooowwwwww," I offered.

            "Thank you."

            I rolled my eyes and stayed still until she finished. When she was done, she grinned and stepped back.

            "There!" she giggled. "Ooooh, that color looks awful on you."

            "You should have looked in my _other_ drawer if you wanted the stuff I usually use," I retorted, touching my lips experimentally. My fingers were clean when I pulled them away, but I wiped them on my jeans anyway. "Don't you have class on Fridays?"

            "Professor Williams said he had to take his kids trick-or-treating tonight," Kaoru shrugged, reaching forward to fuss with my bangs. "He gave us this week's work load last week, and it's all due next Friday."

            "And I suppose you've started on that already," I smiled knowingly.

            "Like you would have," she pouted. "It's not that hard. Just a lot of reading."

            "You'll be up until three next Thursday night."

            "Probably," she tilted her head at me. "Go change your pants. People should be coming any minute."

            "What? I can't be a vampire in jeans?"

            "Just go!"

            I chuckled and retreated to the bathroom to change.

^_^

            Not surprisingly, Sano and Megumi came together. Sano had pulled out some of his rattiest, most filthy clothing, carried around a bottle in a brown paper bag and claimed he was a hobo. Megumi was wearing a long, black dress and had put a streak of white through her hair. My initial reaction did not please her, although Sano was laughing.

            "You're a skunk!" I blurted. It was rather uncouth of me, but I could not help myself. That was what first came to mind.

            Megumi lifted her chin and glared down her nose at me. Sano looked like he was having some sort of attack. My guess was he was trying not to burst out laughing.

            "_I_ am the bride of Frankenstein!" she announced.

            "Oh," I could not help but smirk. "Sorry. My mistake."

            "Is Omasu here?"

            "The dog on the couch," I gestured, again trying not to laugh. I was very aware of how bad that sounded. Megumi snorted, covering her mouth and retreating. Too late. I knew she was laughing. Sano grinned and followed me into the apartment.

            Not much later, Tae arrived. She decided to go with the cat costume that year. Kaoru immediately claimed her cousin, and the two walked away, giggling and talking. I glanced back to Sano who just shrugged and grinned.

            "How much you want to bet Aoshi shows up without a costume?" Sano suggested.

            "Misao's prepared," I replied, grinning as I thought of what that would be like. "I kind of hope he _does_ show up in regular clothes."

            Sano lifted his eyebrows.

            "I can't wait to see that."

            Sure enough, when Aoshi arrived, he was wearing jeans and a tee shirt. His friends were dressed up. Shikijou was a warlock, Hyottoko was a gorilla, Hannya was the Grim Reaper, followed around by Beshimi, who had thrown a sheet over his head and declared himself a ghost. It would have been better as a white sheet, but we were amused by the fish print on the blanket.

            "It was all I could come up with on short notice!" was Beshimi's defense against the laughter. Shikijou patted his shoulder, but the consolation was ruined when he snorted and had to walk away, laughing all the while.

            "_Aoshi_!" Misao snapped. Rightfully so, Aoshi flinched and glanced down to meet his girlfriend's glare. "You didn't dress up!"

            "Uh..." Aoshi glanced down at his clothes, then back up at Misao. "I'm the average American?"

            Misao snickered and grabbed his hand, dragging him into the bathroom. The door slammed shut, leaving the rest of us to wonder.

            "Never a good sign," Hyottoko muttered.

            "What's she doing to him, Kenshin?" Sano asked.

            "Not a clue," I shrugged. "She wouldn't say."

            "Knowing Misao," Hannya offered. It was kind of strange to hear his voice coming from the black void of his hood, but we all looked at him anyway. "She has something up her sleeve that Aoshi will hate."

            I could hardly wait.

^_^

            We ordered pizza and Chinese, which made for an awful combination, but no one else seemed to mind. I was never a big fan of Chinese food, so that might have been part of it. I poked at some rice, though, which appealed more than the pizza at the moment. My stress had been at an all-time high that week, despite all attempts to push it away, and the bland food was better.

            Someone put a Billy Joel CD in, which surprised me. Not that I minded that artist--it _was_ my CD--but I did not think anyone else would like it. Chou might have protested, but he was not there yet.

            "You think we should check on them?" Sano wondered, in no hurry to do as he suggested as he shoveled pizza into his mouth. "They've been in there a long time."

            "We haven't heard any screaming," Shikijou laughed. "He'll be fine."

            No sooner had the words left his mouth, then the bathroom door opened, and out stepped a triumphant Misao, a less-than-happy Aoshi shuffling along behind her. I barely recognized him. Shikijou let out a piercing whistle that made me flinch, and Aoshi glared at him darkly.

            "You two make a nice pair," Beshimi snickered. "A cocktail bunny and... a... gangster?"

            "A pimp!" Misao said brightly. "You think it works for him?"

            Aoshi's hair was slicked back with so much gel it looked solid. Fortunately, most of that was hidden beneath a black felt hat that did not match the rest of his outfit, unless tacky was the goal. The pants were that fake leather stuff and looked uncomfortably tight. They also clashed with the blue, Hawaiian style, button-up shirt he wore. Those shirts were made to be loose and somewhat billowy, but this one was almost too tight, going unbuttoned down the front because it probably would not close. I knew why it fit so horribly.

            "Why does everyone dig through _my_ stuff?" I demanded. "Misao!"

            "It's not like you ever wear it!" she stuck her tongue out at me. "And doesn't it look good on him?"

            "No."

            Aoshi nodded in silent agreement. He shifted restlessly, and I was willing to bet he was uncomfortable as could be.

            "A pimp and a cocktail bunny," Sano grinned. "Is there something we should know about, Aoshi?"

            "Shut up, Sagara," Aoshi sat stiffly in a chair. No doubt he regretted that move when Misao giggled and hopped into his lap. He had a strained expression on his face, and he gestured to one of the white buckets of rice. Hannya handed it to him, and he snatched up the chow mein. He was spared from further torment when the doorbell rang, and everyone turned to greet the newcomers.

^_^

            The party degenerated quickly. The interest in talk waned, and a movie made its way into the VCR. Most of us settled down to watch _Lord of the Rings_--the second one--although a few sat in the light behind the futon and played cards. I had a moment of frustration when I lost my glass during the battle between the tree-things and the ugly monster-things. I found it again, hiding behind the leg of the futon.

            After the movie ended, the group split apart. Sano and Megumi left fairly early, as did Aoshi's friends. Misao, Kaoru, Omasu, and Tae claimed the futon, and they sat there talking on subjects I either did not understand or did not care to hear. Retreating to the kitchen, I joined Aoshi, Chou, and Kevin, who had decided to come along for some reason. They were finishing off the pizza, cold from being in the refrigerator for the past two hours. I poured more pop into my glass and leaned against the counter, not far from the table.

            "What are you supposed to be anyway?" Kevin wondered, grinning at me over his pizza. "Some sort of diva?"

            I frowned, irritated at his choice of words. Chou rolled his eyes and muttered something incoherent. Aoshi smirked, and I wondered what Chou had said.

            "No," I said finally. "Vampire."

            Kevin had not dressed up. Chou had but just barely. He was wearing one of those blue shirts with the Superman insignia on the chest. A red blanket that was far too short completed the costume.

            "Nice," Kevin glanced at the girls across the room. "A vampire, a witch, a bitch, and a table-waiting slut."

            "Watch it," Aoshi growled, no doubt annoyed by the reference to Misao. Neither could I remain quiet, although Kevin had not really insulted me or Kaoru.

            "What's your problem?" I demanded.

            "No problem," Kevin shrugged. "I was just making an observation."

            "Well keep your _observations_ to yourself," I snapped.

            He shrugged again and grinned. Chou shook his head.

            "Don't mind him," he suggested. "Kevin's cursed to being an asshole loser with no friends."

            "I've got as many friends as you do," Kevin retorted.

            "Right, and they're all like you," Chou scowled, glancing at Aoshi, then me. "I don't let them in the room when I'm in it. And that one guy is just freaky scary."

            "That's because he doesn't like you," Kevin snickered.

            Chou rolled his eyes and mouthed 'freak.' Kevin scowled, but the rest of us were smirking.

            "Whatever," Kevin grumbled, standing and tossing his greasy napkin on the table. "I'm out of here. Later, children."

            "Try not to get mugged on the way to the car," Aoshi said dryly. Chou snorted, trying not to laugh, and I bowed my head to hide my smile. None of us felt any love for Kevin, that much was certain.

            Muttering to himself, he slunk out of the apartment. When the door shut behind him, I looked at Chou incredulously.

            "How do you _stand_ a man like that?"

            "He's not usually so bad," Chou grinned carelessly. "Sarcastic, maybe, but not so mean." His grin faltered a bit. "Come to think of it... he only's ever done that around you."

            Of course the guy would have it in for me. As if I did not have enough problems without some complete stranger hating my guts.

            "His friends are creepy, though," Chou continued. "He reminds me of all those stories Sano used to tell... what was that guy's name? Jonah?"

            I frowned.

            "Jonas?"

            "_That's_ the guy!" Chou chuckled. "A complete ass and only half aware of what's going on around him. At least he's no crazy killer, but I can't talk for his friends. Some of _them_ are downright scary."

            Meaning I would stay as far away from Kevin and his screwed up friends as possible. Easily done. I did not have any classes with him, nor did I ever associate with him except in situations when he tagged along for the ride. Like that Halloween night. Well, I could tolerate some antagonism. I put up with it most of my life, and a bit of nasty bantering with a jerk would not kill me.

            "Hey, guys!" Misao shouted abruptly. "We've got an empty bottle over here that's just begging to be spun!"

            We glanced at each other, then dragged ourselves over to the floor by the futon. It just was not worth it to fight it.

^_^

            Chou left soon after Misao attempted to kill him for making out with her boyfriend. The bottle did not seem to like Aoshi that night. He kissed (or was kissed by) everyone that night _except_ for Misao. It was rather amusing, actually, watching Misao fume across the circle. She was so irritated that when she spun the bottle, and it landed on Kaoru, she nearly knocked Kaoru over. Kaoru was as dazed as I had ever seen her after Misao grabbed the collar of her costume, pasted a rough kiss on her chin somewhere, and shoved her away again.

            It was funny, though. When I glanced at Aoshi, I was surprised to see him smirking. It made me wonder if he did not, perhaps, _enjoy_ Misao's jealous streak.

            Aoshi spent the night, dragging a blanket over to the futon and stretching out there. He must have been exhausted because he did not wash that gel out of his hair before going to bed. I could not have done it. Despite the late hour, I washed my face before going to sleep, certain to get the last of the lipstick off.

            Lights went out at about three. Personally, I was grateful. I sank into my pillow, hugging my gorilla to my side, and drifted off to sleep.

^_^

            I skipped basketball Monday night to go interview Sano's father. We were supposed to find someone in what we thought was an unusual profession and talk to them. My original intent had been to talk to Mr. Kamiya, but he was out of town. Sano's dad was the superintendent for the local school district, which was probably not that unusual, but I thought it was pretty interesting, so to hell with what the journalism professor said. It was simple enough to contact Mr. Sagara, and he liked me, so it did not take much convincing to get myself an appointment.

            Mr. Sagara was professional, holding off any personal conversations until I had finished questioning him. Only when I set my tape recorder and notebook aside did he finally relax and stretch his arms over his head.

            "Ahhhhhh, it's been a long day," he admitted. "You?"

            "Not really," I shook my head, packing my stuff into my backpack. "Thanks for doing this, Mr. Sagara."

            "It's the least I can do for the boy who saved my son's marriage," Mr. Sagara smiled at me. I flushed at the praise and shook my head.

            "I didn't do anything," I muttered, then looked at him curiously. "He told you about that?"

            Mr. Sagara paused in pouring himself a glass of water to give me a sidewise glance. He smiled faintly.

            "Of course."

            Interesting. I never would have considered the possibility that Sano would discuss the break up with his father. It seemed silly to discuss it after the problem was resolved, and lamenting over it during the crisis only served to make it seem imminent.

            "You seem distracted, Kenshin."

            "Hm?" I blinked at him, then nodded my thanks as he handed me a glass. "I'm fine."

            "School going well?" he asked mildly.

            "Not bad," I shrugged.

            "Doing well in your new living arrangements?"

            "Sano told you about that, too?" I lifted my eyebrows in surprise.

            "Unlikely as it seems, some people actually talk with their parents," Mr. Sagara chuckled.

            I flinched at that one. Even assuming I looked at Uncle Hiko as some sort of parental unit, there was no way I could ever share such trivial information with him. I could not even share _important_ things with him without feeling like I was confessing my crimes to the cops.

            "So how is it?" Mr. Sagara prompted.

            "How is what?" I stared at him blankly.

            "The apartment--"

            "Oh!" I smiled to cover my embarrassment. "It's okay."

            "Enjoying a little more freedom?" It was odd, this line of questioning. Not often did I have anyone other than Sano or Kaoru ask such things. I was not completely comfortable with it, and it was reflected in my terse responses.

            "I guess."

            "Keeping honest?" Mr. Sagara smiled knowingly, but the question struck a chord. Honest? No. I was not being honest. So far, no one knew anything about Enishi and that encounter in the public bathroom or the blank card I received in the mail. I had managed to push it all away for the most part, but not a day went by that I did not think about it. The sudden panic attack I'd suffered just over a week ago was nearly forgotten, although my heart still raced when I recalled that white powder covering my pants. Inevitably, that memory brought to mind a dozen panicked thoughts about what Enishi was planning.

            Even as I stood there, drinking the water Mr. Sagara had given me, I could feel my anxiety level rising. It was always the same, starting as a slight tremor that I could feel but no one could see. My chest hurt like someone was squeezing everything inward but the bones.

            "Are you okay, Kenshin?" Mr. Sagara's question proved I was starting to show my nervousness.

            "Sure," I forced a smile and set the water glass down a little too quickly. The clear liquid splashed up and over the rim, getting my fingers and the countertop wet. "Sorry."

            "It's just water," Mr. Sagara murmured. "Can I give you a ride back to campus?"

            I should have said no. Every instinct in me was screaming for such an answer, but Mr. Sagara did not even wait for me to reply. He just picked up my notebook and tape recorder, dug his keys out of his jacket pocket, and headed toward the car. There was nothing to do but follow him. After all, I did need those notes.

            "Radio?" Mr. Sagara offered as I climbed into the car and shut the door. I was a bit disturbed at how clumsy and nervous my movements were, but try as I might, I could not settle my nerves enough to move slower.

            "I don't care," I muttered.

            "We'll leave it off."

            I nodded, keeping quiet as he backed out of the garage and into the street. It was a twenty minute ride to Minneapolis, but it seemed like an eternity, the car not moving nearly fast enough on the little back roads Mr. Sagara took to the highway. It got worse. Mr. Sagara started talking again.

            "Something is bothering you," he observed quietly. He cut off my objection before I could speak. "I'm a father, Kenshin. Don't try to tell me I'm mistaken. I know better."

            Biting my lip, I stared out the passenger side window, hoping he would accept my silence and leave it at that. It was not to be.

            "Problems with school?" he inquired. I shook my head.

            "Girlfriend?"

            "No." It came out pretty soft, but he heard me.

            "Health?" That was one I should have expected. Wasn't it less than a year ago that I had all but fainted into his arms?

            "I'm fine, Mr. Sagara," I whispered. If I spoke any louder, my voice might shake, and that was intolerable.

            "You're not doing anything illegal, are you?"

            "No!" I frowned, glancing at him indignantly. He was not bothered by my offense.

            "I had to ask," was all he said as an excuse. "You're very good at keeping things to yourself, Kenshin. I believe I already told you how unhealthy that is."

            "I'm fine, Mr. Sagara," I said again, my voice stronger that time, fueled by my irritation.

            "Your friends accept that?" he asked skeptically.

            "Yes, they do," I grumbled.

            "I'll have to talk to Sano about that," Mr. Sagara muttered, then sighed. "You've got that deer-in-the-headlights look about you, Kenshin. Your fingers caught in the cookie jar?"

            It was a suitable analogy, but not quite right. Actually, I was trying to hold that damned cookie jar shut, all the while knowing someone would walk in on me, see what I was doing, and then accuse me of attempting to steal the sweets.

            "If you need some help, Kenshin--"

            "I'm fine," I said, offering an impatient smile and a nod. "I'll be fine. I can handle myself."

            He glanced at me briefly, then back to the road. He was not pleased, I could tell, but that was hardly my problem. He was not my father, my uncle, or anyone else who held any real power over me, so why should I have cared?

            _He's trying to help_.

            The thought popped unwanted into my mind, and I scowled down at my lap. The silence in the car was almost painful, not even the radio on to ease some of the tension. I wondered why I was letting myself get so worked up over what my friend's dad had to say.

            Mr. Sagara dropped me off outside Middlebrook.* I muttered my thanks as I reached for the door.

            "Kenshin." I looked to the side, not really at him but not ignoring him either. If he wanted to lecture me, I would listen, but I was not going to pretend to be happy about it. "People are not meant to be alone."

            I glanced at him, uncertain what he meant by that. Nodding in acknowledgment, I pushed to door open and stepped out of the car. I watched his car disappear around the corner, then turned and walked around the side of the building. Skipping up the steps, I took the bridge over 4th Street and headed across the courtyard to Washington Avenue. If I was lucky, I could catch the bus that would take me within a block of my apartment.

^_^

*Middlebrook Hall--the only dormitory on the west bank. Sano lives here. (Didn't mvdiva figure this out?)

^_^

            As ludicrous as it sounded, I found myself relating to the age-old sappy words: 'hold me.' Kaoru did not seem to mind, though, when I interrupted her game of computer solitaire. She giggled when I put my arms around her and pressed my face into her shoulder from behind.

            "Are my eyes deceiving me?" she wondered. "Is that Misao in a red wig?"

            "Can we run away and raise sheep in the European countryside?" I mumbled.

            "Have a rough day?" Kaoru leaned her head against mine with a soft sigh. "How about we ditch study and take in a movie? Let's run down to Blockbuster."

            "Mmkay," I agreed readily.

            That's exactly what we did. Kaoru picked out _Buffy, the Vampire Slayer_,* and we sat on the futon under a blanket and laughed at all the eighties hair styles and language. The worst part about that, both of us agreed, was that we could remember when girls and guys actually dressed and behaved like that.

            "You know, we'll be the same way in another thirty years," Kaoru said contemplatively. "We'll be dressed in our space-age suits, and we'll look back and say, '_cool_'? People actually said that? Low rise jeans? Primitives!" She giggled. "And then we'll say, '_radical!_ Look at the new Coach purse!'"

            "I can't imagine anyone using 'radical' again," I rolled my eyes.

            "Trends recycle themselves," Kaoru lifted her arm free of the blanket to display her three-quarter length sleeve. "Sixties and seventies. Soon we'll be wearing poodle skirts."

            "Never," I countered. "It's as likely as Zoobas coming back into style."

            "Those were just ugly," Kaoru protested. She leaned back against the cushion and turned her head to smile at me. "What's up, Kenshin? You've gone all cuddly on me. I almost didn't believe I was looking at my boyfriend."

            I responded with a half smile and looked back to the television screen. The credits were rolling toward the end, and we would have to stop it soon.

            "Kenshin?"

            "It's nothing," I replied automatically. Impulsively, I leaned into her, draping my arm over her shoulders to pull her toward me. She sighed and rested her head on my shoulder. Pressing my lips to her head, I had to wonder how it was even possible that I would have a girlfriend. People like Kaoru went for jocks and guys who could handle themselves in social situations. "Did you mean it?"

            "Hmm?" Kaoru turned to look at me curiously. "Mean what?"

            I had not actually intended to say that aloud, but since I did, I decided to make the best of it.

            "You said you loved me," I explained quietly. "Did you mean that?"

            It was a question straight out of a cheesy love story. However, her words had been spoken in the heat of the moment, in a fit of anger and worry, so could anyone really be sure? Had she really meant it, or had it been something she said to try to get me to see things her way? Kaoru had always been straightforward with me before.

            "I'd never say something like that if I didn't mean it, Kenshin," she murmured.

            I stared at her for awhile, searching her eyes, but all I saw was her gentle smile and some concern. She looked away, leaning against me again.

            "I won't ask you if you love me," she said, and only an oblivious idiot would have missed the sorrow in that statement. "I know you care, and for now, that's okay."

            What was there to say to that? I licked my lips and opened them to respond, although what I would say was a mystery. Not that it mattered--she would not let me offer any sort of excuse.

            "I--"

            "Quiet," she lifted a hand to my face, her thumb sliding over my mouth to hush me. I frowned uneasily. "It's okay, Kenshin. I know it's hard for you. We're still young. I can wait."

            Sighing in frustration, I wrapped my other arm around her, and rested my chin on her shoulder. She leaned into the embrace.

            "Remember the promise we made in Stillwater?" she asked softly. I did not reply, hoping she would elaborate. She did. "No more secrets?" Uh oh. "I know you've got some."

            "Kaoru, I--"

            "No, it's okay," she interrupted. "I just... want you to know I'm here... when you decide you're ready to discuss them."

            The 'hold me' need was increasing. I hugged Kaoru tightly, until she finally turned and returned the sentiment. Leaning back, she dragged me with her until we were crunched together on the futon. Pushed up like a couch, it was not really meant for two people to stretch out side-by-side like that, but we were small enough to pull it off. I rested my head on Kaoru's shoulder, my arm already going numb beneath her, but I did not mind.

            We fell asleep like that, and had Misao not burst in on us, we might have spent the night on the futon. As irritating as walking up to Misao's taunting laughter was, it really was for the better. We got up, changed out of our day clothes, and went to our beds. Misao giggled through this entire time, even having a hard time keeping quiet after the lights went out. She did quiet when Kaoru shouted at her to shut up.

^_^

*_Buffy, the Vampire Slayer_--the movie, not the soon-to-be-over television series. It really was a cheesy movie. Like, it totally was! *snicker*

^_^

Notes: Okay… Kevin and Mike are original characters, however they are important to this story and will not be disappearing with this chapter. You can consider them Jin'e-(pardon if my spelling is not quite there), Shishio-, and perhaps even Usui-type characters. Definitely not nice people and out to advance only themselves. I know some people don't like original characters, but none of the established characters were appropriate for their roles, so there they are.

Next chapter: My Life… sucks.

**Random Omake**: That's just gross

**Kenshin**: Shit!

**Sano**: Don't. Not right here, anyway.

**Kenshin**: ...And we have stooped to the level of potty humor.

**Sano**: *snicker*

**Random Omake**: Like a little girl

**Shikijou**: We haven't heard any screaming. He'll be fine.

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* No sooner had the words left his mouth, then the bathroom door opened, and out ran Aoshi, screaming at the top of his lungs.

**Aoshi**: _Get away from me, you sadist!_

**Misao**: *holding up a thong and a whip* Come back! You think regular underpants will look good under that tight leather?!

Aoshi: _Stay back!_ *hides behind Kenshin* 

**Misao**: *cracks whip* Come back here, baby!

**Kenshin**: Remind me again… _why_ am I living with her?

Reviewers: Yes, everyone. If you don't want to read it, skip it. Nothing of importance follows this.

**omochi**: Well, Kaoru's staying, so don't worry about that.

**Crystal**: Skim. I always think of milk when I see that word…

**Carpetfibers**: *grin* I just love that screen name. And I have decided you Scrabble-players are a bunch of perverts. What fun.

**futagoakuma-tenshi01**: It's building to a slow climax, but I expect it to continue on a bit.

**Fuuko-san**: People do strange things when they're smashed that they would never think of doing normally.

**Hana Himura**: Frankly, you're scaring me.

**Chiki**: Suicide is a scary thing. I prefer not to think about it outside of fiction whenever possible.

**NightRain**: No, I didn't double post. I just posted right when a lot of other people did, consequently getting shoved to later pages. And no, Megumi did not say that. Innuendo can be a marvelous thing.

**tatsumaki**: Most peoples' lives don't suck that much. Kenshin's just managed to screw his up pretty badly.

**Megumi**: Nah, I want it how it is. But thanks for the suggestion.

**mvdiva**: *snicker* Actually, I have a friend who is engaged, and she doesn't have those kind of problems. But it's not uncommon for people to have them. I sell bridesmaids dresses and have returned them for cancelled weddings so I'm familiar with this.

**marstanuki**: *snicker* I loved that.

**nekonomiko**: Thank you.

**TenkunoMeiou**: Okee dokey.

**Imbrium Iridum**: That poor Scrabble board has been taking so much abuse. And you've just done the universal no-no. Never, _ever_ ask if things can get worse. Because the answer is yes. Yes, they can.

**Phoenix Cubed**: *grin* I love using real places. It just makes it that much more tangible, for me at least. Glad you appreciate the Twin Cities locale.

**haku baiku**: I'm glad you like it so far. I hope I am able to keep it up.

**Gochan**: Kenshin: *reads invitation* BYOB… Ah, okay then. I'm ready. *picks up bottle, label reading: BAYER Aspirin* I'll need this in the morning.

*blink* Probably not what that meant, Kenshin…

**Mip the Demon Fox**: *snicker* Picturing Kenshin taking the Scrabble board and whacking Megumi… Heh…


	30. Attack

**Disclaimer**: I own diddly squat. See? *points to diddly squat* Isn't he cute?

**Notes**: Yes, this would be the official beginning of the R-rated material. Someone asked if it could get worse. The answer, of course, is yes. Absolutely. It can _always_ get worse. Oh, and for a short read and some insight into different characters, watch for updates on 'Moments in Time,' which is (will be) a series of brief side stories to 'My Life.'

**Warnings**: Violence, mature themes of sexual and psychological natures, _aaaaaaangst_, very slight sap, and a dark kitchen. _Damn_ those dark kitchens!

Kenshin: *frowning* Um… Fitz-dono?

Fitz: Hmm?

Kenshin: *deep breath* _What the hell were you thinking?!_

Fitz: *windblown* Uh…

Onward!!

My Life

            Mr. Sagara must not have spoken to Sano about our argument, or if he did, Sano did not say anything. He was as cocky as ever when we met up Wednesday evening.

            "Megumi's coming to my place for Thanksgiving this year," he announced, slamming his locker shut and following me out into the gym. "You're still invited, of course."

            "Sure," I agreed. "I've got to talk to Kaoru first, though. I think she wants to do something together."

            "Bring her along, too!" Sano grinned. "Dad would love to meet her."

            I smiled.

            "I'll talk to her," I allowed.

            "Great!" He clapped his hands together and stretched his arms over his head. "Let's start this game!"

            We were some of the last to arrive, and the other guys grinned and waved us in. Just my luck, I was stuck across from Mike again. Thus began another session of attempting to keep my feet out from under his. The real kick in the butt was that he'd brought a friend along--a friend to witness, or perhaps help create, the humiliation that was yet to come.

            Ironically, I first saw him when Mike somehow slipped his feet _under_ mine, sending me sprawling back, stumbling in attempt to remain upright. I might have remained on my feet had I not glanced to the side to see the vaguely familiar figure of Chou's roommate, leaning casually against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. The distraction cost me, and I hit the floor.

            "Shit!" I groaned, wincing at the newly acquired bruises.

            "Watch your step there, Red," Mike murmured, offering his hand to me. Attempting not to be spiteful, I accepted his assistance and let him haul me to my feet. I nearly fell again as he overcompensated, lifting me off the ground almost entirely. I stumbled into him, jerked back, and glared into his brown eyes.

            "My name is Kenshin," I reminded him icily. "And is it so difficult to back off a little?"

            "And let you take control of the game?" he smirked. I growled impatiently, and we rejoined the game. It was difficult to stay focused, however, when the person guarding me kept making small talk. "You were looking at the new guy."

            "New guy?" I glanced at Kevin warily. The man was smirking, probably amused by my abrupt communion with the floor. "You know him?"

            "Kevin?"

            Shit again. They did know each other. No wonder both of them hated me. Hadn't it been less than a week ago that Chou said all of Kevin's friends were just like him? Sure enough...

            "He's my pal," Mike grinned. "Known him for years."

            "That's great," I grunted, hopping back when he got too close again. He was towering over me so I couldn't even see the game. The sounds were there, proving it was still going, but damned if I was witness to any of it. And as if being that close was not good enough, he pressed forward again.

            The idiot tripped up the both of us, and down we went. Mike falling along with me was not overly surprising. The way he played, it was bound to happen sometime. What startled me was the way he suddenly grabbed me, as if I could hold him up--as if I would _want_ to. If falling to the solid concrete was not bad enough, I had a six-foot, two-hundred pound man attached to my arm and shirt, his brutal grip forcing me to take the brunt of the impact.

            It was not pleasant, not that falling on the gym floor ever was. My back hit first, knocking the wind from my lungs. As if to add insult to injury, Mike's elbow slammed into my stomach, much of his weight behind the blow, and my eyes failed me momentarily. Distantly, I felt my head hit the floor, but I was so separated from myself at the point that it barely bothered me. Everything else was negligible.

            Coughing when I could not inhale was just a painful experience. For a moment, I thought my chest would implode before I finally was able to suck in a harsh breath of air, and my vision cleared enough for me to see Mike's face. What a thing to wake up to.

            He wasn't smiling. I half expected him to be laughing his head off, but there was little amusement in his gaze. His eyes--all... three of them?--were dark with some angry expression.

            I was in too much pain at the moment to be overly concerned with it. Something was wrong with my arm, I realized, not to mention my head was spinning from the concussion. At the top of my list of hurts was my stomach. I could taste blood in my throat, and I dazedly wondered if perhaps that elbow in my gut had not done a little bit of damage.

            The guys were shouting, clambering around us worriedly. Mike was still on me, panting as if he had actually been hurt by the fall. I was ready to strangle him, but I stopped when I realized it hurt too much to use my left arm. Instead, I groaned and let my other arm fall back to the floor.

            "Hey, Jensen! Give the poor guy a little room to breathe!" Kevin's voice filtered through the rest, and it occurred to me that he was talking to Mike. But he'd addressed the man by another name... one I had not heard in the time since I'd met him.

            _Jensen_...

            Where had I heard that before?

            "You guys okay?"

            "Just a sec..." Mike grunted.

            _Jensen_...

            Mike shoved himself to his hands and knees, glaring down at me balefully. I was not the one who had insisted on being so close that it caused this accident. He was not the one with blood on his tongue.

            _Jensen_...

            _God_, why was it bothering me so?

            "Sorry 'bout that, Red," Mike grunted. He had yet to pull away, and he continued to stare at me, dark eyes forbidding, his sweaty dark hair falling toward me.

            _Dark eyes... hands reaching toward me_.

            _Jensen_...

            Oh... my... god...

            _"I heard you had a run in with Jensen."_

            No... it wasn't possible...

            Mike smirked, a vicious sneer. A hand, rough and not altogether unfamiliar, scraped over my cheek.

            _"Tall guy... Brown eyes, dark hair."_

            Mike wasn't--

            "Come on," Mike muttered. "You're okay."

            _"Come on... It'll be fun."_

            "Get off me," my voice was choked, and blood gurgled unpleasantly in my throat. "Get away from me."

            He smiled, a slow, lazy action.

            The blood was rushing in my ears, drowning out most everything around me. I couldn't see straight, although if that was from the concussion or the rising panic, I did not know.

            His face was the last thing I wanted to see, but it was all I could focus on. I remembered a smile.

            _"Running, baby? Think you can get away?"_

            I couldn't breathe, and this time it had nothing to do with my injuries. The world tilted, falling away from me.

            _Don't_...

            "Get up, idiot. You're crushing him."

            _Please..._

            "He's fine."

            Something in my shirt, yanking me up. I couldn't stand. Not yet. I couldn't even see.

            _Hand in my hair, forcing my head back_--

            _Oh, god... help me..._

            The light rushed into my eyes with a suddenness that was almost blinding. Mike's face loomed in my vision. His hands were in my shirt.

            _No!_

            I did not have the balance to throw him. He was there, set up perfectly for one of the techniques Kaoru had shown me months ago. But my head was swimming, my stomach sick and hurting, my arm limp at my side because I did not want to risk the pain of moving it.

            I did it anyway.

            It was nothing fancy--nothing like what I'd seen in movies. He outweighed me by nearly a hundred pounds. The move _did_ send him crashing to the floor behind me, the sound of the impact coming as a relief.

            Down I went, my legs so much jelly. Someone grabbed for me. I shoved him away, forcing my legs to hold me. It almost worked, and it did not hurt so much when my knees hit the floor, my arm nearly giving way when I landed on all fours.

            Still, I could not breathe. I couldn't think straight. It was a jumbled mess of accusations and warnings to flee. Above all else, was this overwhelming, fear-induced fury. He had to go.

            "That was _you!_" The words hissed and rumbled in my throat, and I coughed. Blood splattered gruesomely over the floor in front of me. Squeezing my eyes shut, I gasped for air.

            The rage was strangling me. The world was too bright, too loud, too much. I was going to kill him.

            "You son of a bitch," I panted.

            "Come on, Kenshin," Sano's voice sounded normal. Hands that could only be his gripped my arms, too strong to push past. "Lay down. Someone called an ambulance."

            "I'll kill him," I whispered. I would just have to do it before the ambulance got there. "How could he do that?" 

            _He_ was already on his feet. There was a tiny smirk on _his_ repulsive face.

            Consuming, irrepressible hatred. Uncontrollable fury. I shoved forward.

            "You son of a _bitch!_" My voice echoed crazily in the gymnasium, but I ignored it. People were jumping back, but not _him_. He didn't care. I couldn't get past Sano. Sano had his arm under mine, curling over my shoulder. Sano's other arm was over my chest. I pushed forward again, trying to force a path through him.

            "Holy shit!" Someone else. Someone insignificant. _He_ was still confident, smiling.

            "Don't laugh, don't you _dare laugh_, you fucking--!" Pain screamed through my shoulder, and I cut off, choking on the bile that rose into my throat unexpectedly.

            It was all incoherent after that. The furious words tumbled from me, none of them making sense--just mindless hatred. Sano was shouting in my ear, but I ignored it. My entire being was focused on one thing: breaking _that man's_ neck.

            Suddenly, he was no longer there. I blinked, looking around, trying to find where he'd gone, but he was nowhere to be found.

            "Geez." I recognized the voice but could not place a face to it. "Don't let him go, Sagara. Who knows who he'll go after next."

            "Shut up, Luke." That was Sano. "He's calming down."

            "Where'd he go?" I asked breathlessly. The adrenaline rush was fading, and my limbs ached with the effort I'd put into escaping Sano.

            "Gone," Sano grunted. "We chased him out. Him and Kevin. Hey... medics are here."

            "Medic?" I echoed dumbly. I felt this sudden urge to cry. This could not be happening to me. Enishi... the card... _Jensen_... it was getting worse. I tried to ignore it, but he was not going to let me.

            "Yeah," Sano confirmed.

            Whatever energy I'd felt before was gone. My body was a dead weight, my eyelids too heavy to hold open. The need to see some blood disappeared, leaving behind a void that I had no idea how to fill. Was that what was meant for me? This emptiness? The hollow feeling of being alone.

            _"People are not meant to be alone."_

            He was right. But I didn't know what to do. My life was spinning out of my control, and I honestly had no idea how _not_ to be alone.

^_^

            After three hours in the emergency room, they sent me home. Uncle Hiko did not bother coming. When he discovered Sano was there, and that my injuries were all minor, he figured he didn't need to make an appearance.

            One of the nurses, who was just getting off his shift, offered us a ride. Sano's dorm was practically across the street, so he declined, but he made me take up the offer. To be truthful, I was relieved. I was not sure I had the concentration to figure out which bus to take back to the apartment, and even then, I would have to make the walk from the bus stop to the building where I lived. It was a trip I did not dare make alone in the dark.

            My body was bruised, but the internal bleeding had nearly stopped by the time I got to the hospital, so they declared it to be fine. My arm they put in a sling, telling me my arm was sprained and that I had to wait some time (which I promptly forgot) before taking the sling off. The concussion was mild, enough to make me dizzy but probably not dangerous. The doctors warned me to stay awake for awhile, but they seemed to forget the pain medication they'd pumped into me before I went. It left me swaying on my feet, barely able to remain conscious.

            The nurse chatted cheerfully all the way across town to my apartment, although about what I could not say. It was all I could do to give him the proper directions, let alone make small talk.

            Thanking him for the ride, I let myself into the apartment building before he drove off. Trudging up the steps to the third floor, I went to our door and pushed it open, grateful it was unlocked and I did not have to fumble for the key.

            The place was dark, the only light coming from one of the bathroom doors. No one was in the bathroom as far as I could see. The time creeping up on midnight, I had expected everyone to be asleep, but the noise coming from the sleeping area suggested otherwise.

            What was happening over there most certainly was not sleeping. If it was, then it was one hell of a wet dream--did girls even get those? The clothing on the floor in the light by the bathroom was not Kaoru's, Misao's, or Omasu's. It was far too big to be mine, not to mention I never left my clothes strewn about like that.

            It was something I could have done without witnessing. They had yet to notice me, but they sure as hell figured it out when I slammed the door shut. Even averting my eyes, I could hear their startled voices. I made my way to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. Leaning against the wall, I slid down to sit on the floor. Maybe I could spend the night there.

            Not two minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

            "Kenshin?" Misao called hesitantly. "Are you decent?"

            "Are you?" I shot back. I didn't have the patience for this.

            The door cracked open, and she peered in nervously.

            "Kenshin, I'm so sorry!" she murmured, finally pushing the door completely open when she saw I was not in the way. "It was so late, I thought you weren't coming in tonight, and--what happened?!" She dropped to her knees beside me, her hands hovering over me as if she was afraid I might shatter should she touch me. "My god! Are you--?"

            I sighed and shook my head.

            "Where's Kaoru?" Of all people, why was Misao the only one there? Omasu was at home, attending some funeral. I knew that. But where was Kaoru? Why wasn't she here?

            "She's working on a project with some people," Misao explained. "She said she would be back late. Probably not until one."

            "Fine," I glared at my raised knees resentfully. "Go back to your boyfriend."

            "But you're--"

            "Just leave me alone," I snapped. She recoiled, her hand jumping out of my line of vision. There was a whisper of cloth, the click of the door, and she was gone.

            As I had requested, I was alone. It was not what I really wanted. But Misao did not want to sit with me, and I did not want her clumsy attempts at comfort. Yet... it would have been better than complete solitude.

            Draping my good arm over my knees, I leaned forward against it and closed my eyes. I was too numb to feel much of anything. The shock had not faded completely, leaving me cold and slightly ill. Thus far, my control had been very good. I had not cried or gotten sick. Even with the wavering vision, I had not passed out. It seemed that I was not doing anything, as usual.

^_^

            I must have fallen asleep, sitting against the wall. If not, I most likely would have noticed someone walking into the bathroom. As it was, I nearly leapt out of my skin when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

            "Shhh... it's just me."

            Panting from the scare, I blinked rapidly to bring my eyes into focus. Kaoru was crouching beside me, looking pretty worried.

            "Misao called me," she murmured. "Are you okay?"

            As if she would have believed me if I said I was fine. I opened my mouth to explain, but the words would not come. Swallowing, I shook my head and looked away. The seriousness of the situation was elevating in my mind.

            Chou had mentioned that Kevin had scary friends. Mike... Jensen... _he_ was one of Kevin's friends, which meant that there could be others... worse. Enishi. Kevin had been in the apartment, so he knew where I was living. Kevin knew, so Jensen would know, and Enishi obviously knew... Who knew what they would do with that information?

            "Kenshin... what happened?" Her hand was on my face, and I shuddered. I still felt that dirty path of his hand on my face, patting my cheek as an afterthought. Everyone else thought he was trying to wake me. He knew it would upset me. "Kenshin?"

            "He attacked me," I whispered, realization flooding through me as I said those words. The way he'd grabbed me, how he played the game, shoving in so close... it had been planned. Kevin called him by his surname, which was not uncommon, but before that, Mike had made every effort not to tell anyone. The fact that Kevin was even there when he created such an accident was far too coincidental.

            "What?" Kaoru gasped. "Who? What did he do?!"

            Lifting my eyes to meet her anxious gaze, I found myself swallowing back the lump in my throat. I had been okay before, but as I considered the full extent of what Enishi was doing, it was like watching my world falling apart before me. With Sano's anger at both Mike's behavior and mine, it had been easy to ignore it. Kaoru's concern, her natural empathy was more difficult to push away.

            "He--he..."

            _Come on..._

            "I can't--" It was gone. All my control went flying out the door. I choked on a sob, mad at myself for not being able to stop it.

            The next thing I knew, my arm was around Kaoru's neck, my face pressed into her collar. Her arms were tight around me, hurting my arm, but it hardly mattered. My stomach ached with each gasping breath I took, but I ignored that as well. Kaoru was unaware, rocking back and whispering some nonsense in my ear. She didn't need to. I was just grateful she was there.

            We sat like that for a long time. I did not want to leave that moment. It was so much better not to have to face it. When finally we broke apart, I quickly wiped my cheeks, embarrassed by the tears. I did not know what to say. Looking down, I cleared my throat uncomfortably.

            "Sorry," I muttered.

            "It's okay," Kaoru replied quietly. "Now... what happened? Your arm... is it--"

            "Sprained," I interjected. "It was..." I sighed, glancing up and then back at my lap. "Remember when I told you about that guy in basketball who liked to pick on me?"

            "He did this?" Kaoru demanded sharply. I flinched and hated myself for it.

            "Yes, but--"

            "I hope they kicked him out," Kaoru was livid. "This has gone too far--"

            "I knew him," I interrupted her, trying not to smile. Her anger was understandable. I would have reacted similarly if she was the one showing up with her arm in a sling. The smile faded as I explained the rest. "You know... about what happened when I was in high school."

            She looked at me quizzically, and I realized I would actually have to say it.

            "When that guy tried to--" It was not possible. I choked on it. Swallowing hard, I shook my head roughly and glanced away again.

            "When you were assaulted," Kaoru said slowly, probably trying to make it sound less harsh than what it really was. I nodded quickly.

            "Mike..." I could not get my voice above a whisper. "I didn't know... until today that he was--"

            "Oh, my god!" Kaoru breathed. "My god... Oh, Kenshin..."

            Lowering my eyes, I shook my head again. Coughing to clear my throat, I continued.

            "No one else knew," I murmured. "They thought I was crazy. And he just kept smiling. He knew I couldn't hurt him. Sano wouldn't let me. No one knew why I was so mad."

            "Then... your arm..." Kaoru inquired. I snorted.

            "He all but body-slammed me into the floor."

            "Bastard..." she whispered. "In front of everyone?"

            "He tripped me up," I sighed. "Made it look like an accident."

            "Does Sanosuke know?"

            "I never told him," I shook my head to the negative. "I can't explain it to him." I never would have explained it to Kaoru if she had not figured it out on her own. She must have understood that, though, because she merely nodded and reached for my arms.

            "Well... come on then," she ordered gently. "You look wiped. We'll talk about it in the morning."

            "The door locked?" I had to ask, though I knew full well that a deadbolt couldn't keep some people out. Even I could pick a simple lock easily.

            "I'll double-check," she assured me. "Let's get you out of these clothes..."

            "I can dress myself," I mumbled, flushing uncomfortably under the attention.

            "...Right," she nodded. "Well, it's just me and Misao here right now, so we don't mind."

            "Aoshi's gone?" I asked dryly, glancing over to the kitchen where Misao sat, perched on the counter. At least she had the grace to blush.

            "I'm really sorry about that!" she said again. "If I knew--"

            "Right, right," I waved her off, going to the dresser to pull out my pajamas. "You would have gone to his place."

            "Kenshin!"

            I smirked, grateful I did not have to force it. I fought with the drawer a bit, finally getting the thing open with just one hand, and studied the contents for a few seconds before pulling out an oversized sweatshirt and flannel pants. It was getting cool, and I could not seem to keep warm anyway, so I was not overly worried about getting hot in the night.

            "So what's the deal with the sling, dear?" Misao wondered boldly. I glanced at her guiltily, then back at the clothes I was changing into.

            "Accident at the gym," I said curtly.

            "In basketball?" Misao asked incredulously. "What did they do? Try to use you as the ball?"

            I frowned. It never failed to irritate me when someone who should have known better treated what was obviously a serious situation so callously. The joking would have been okay if it had not been so insulting.

            "Misao," Kaoru said sharply, cutting off anything I might have said.

            "Humm?"

            "Zip it."

            "Oh," Misao actually sounded apologetic. "Sorry."

            I had to take off the sling to change, which was a relief. I hated being restrained like that, but I knew myself well enough to know that if I went without the sling, I would make the injury worse. Even so, I decided against wearing it to bed. That just would have been uncomfortable, and I needed all the help I could get if I was planning on sleeping at all that night.

            "Right... so I was thinking," Misao started talking again as I kicked off my gym sweats and pulled on my pajama pants. Yes, I was changing in front of two girls. I could not have cared less at that point in time. However, I did pause long enough to respond to her before she could finish her thought.

            "_That's_ a rarity," I stated. Petty, yes. It felt good to say it.

            "Very funny, Kenshin," Misao rolled her eyes, then grinned. "Anyway, how about we all play hooky tomorrow and go shopping? I know I'm doing all right in all my classes."

            "Yay," I grumbled. "Shopping." Although... it sounded better than trudging through classes. All I had were discussion groups anyway. No one would notice if I missed a day.

            "Actually," Kaoru smiled. "That sounds really fun. Kenshin?"

            "Sure." I picked up my clothes and dropped them in my laundry hamper. It really did sound nice. For once, Misao was coming up with a good idea. "Sounds good."

            "Let's go to bed now, though," Kaoru suggested. "Or we'll all be zombies tomorrow."

            Misao and I agreed wholeheartedly. Shutting off the lights as we went, we trudged across the apartment to the beds. In the dark, I did not appreciate it when Kaoru grabbed my arm, startling me horribly.

            "_Geez!_" I gasped.

            "Sorry!" Kaoru said quickly. "I just wanted to ask if you'd be okay tonight."

            "I'll survive," I assured her. "Look, I'm six feet away from you."

            "Yes, but--"

            "It's just the night," I sighed. "I'll be okay."

            "Okay..." she murmured reluctantly. I smiled and leaned forward, grateful I did not miss my intended destination. Kaoru made a little sound of surprise when I kissed her, but I ignored it and pulled back.

            "Good night," I whispered.

            "...Good night..."

            I found my bed and slipped under the covers. Whatever medication those doctors had given me earlier was still in my system, apparently, because I dropped off to sleep almost immediately. Never had I been so grateful for drugs. I fell into the dreamless sleep caused by such chemicals and did not wake until after nine o'clock the next morning. Not surprisingly, I was still the first person awake.

^_^

            I rediscovered the frustration of working with an injured arm. Getting dressed was only minorly troublesome. Showering, on the other hand, was a bit more challenging. Everything was fine until I got to my hair. Shampooing and rinsing with only one hand was a pain. Even worse was drying off. I could use my other arm, but it hurt, and the natural inclination was to shy away from doing anything that would make the hurt come.

            In the end, I asked Kaoru and Misao to help me pull my hair back. I might have been put through less pain had I done it myself.

            "For god's sake!" I whined as Kaoru yanked my hair up. "I just want my hair back, not a face lift!"

            "I'm not pulling that hard," Kaoru retorted. "For someone who does not so much as complain when he's got a bruise the size of Mexico on his stomach, you're sure whiny when it comes to your precious hair."

            "_My_ precious hair," I echoed. "_You_ are the one who won't let me cut it."

            "Would you just--Nnnngh!" she growled in annoyance. "Can I dry this?"

            "I never have this much trouble," I grumbled, letting her pull me back to the bathroom.

            "Yeah," Kaoru agreed. "And you look like you just rolled out of bed half the time."

            I stared at her reflection in the mirror, but she just smiled sweetly and held up the blow dryer. Wrinkling my nose at her, I closed my eyes and waited for her to be finished.

^_^

            It was difficult to keep my mind off Enishi and the previous day's events, but Misao and Kaoru kept me running most of the time, so I did not have many chances to think about it. We went to the Mall of America, and they dragged me around into clothing stores and candle shops. We ate at the Rainforest Cafe, which we all decided was not worth the wait. Not to mention the sudden 'rainstorm' was distracting, and we had to talk over the false thunder as we ate our overpriced hamburgers.

            After the shopping, we went to Camp Snoopy, where the girls ran me through every ride I was allowed on and even a few that I really wasn't. I starkly refused to go on the 'Mighty Ax.' Not only would the movement upset my shoulder, but I hated rides that went upside-down. We did go on the roller coaster and the carousel. Kaoru and Misao pushed me through the line to the 'Guess your weight/age/birthday' stand. Misao lost her dollar, the girl guessing her weight easily.

            "You should have gone with age," I muttered, earning a light nudge in the side compliments of Kaoru's elbow. Misao never heard me.

            Kaoru picked up one of those giant balloon hammers that squeaked when she pounded it against something. It was annoying, and I found myself victim to the hammer-to-the-head attack more than once, although she attacked Misao far more.

            I ended up losing as well. She guessed my age exactly, which surprised me because people usually came up a few years shy of the actual thing. Although, as the woman told us, "You girls all have fun, now," I thought perhaps she should have put up a gender option with the guessing game. I would have won then.

            We hit the food court for some cheap snacks that evening, and I noted with some surprise that we had been in the mall for nearly six hours. Never in my life (working not included) had I been in a mall for such a long period. Kaoru and Misao were not ready to stop, though. We went into several of the more artsy stores, the video shop, and even stopped in Barnes & Noble. They had to drag me out of the book store, promising a cinnamon roll from Cinnabon and a trip to Hot Topic.

            The mall was closing as we left, metal gates lowering over the storefronts. Kaoru cranked up the radio on the way back to school, so even Misao could barely be heard over it. It was amusing to watch Kaoru and Misao sing at the top of their lungs with the _Friends_ theme song.

            "_I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU! When the rain starts to pour! I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU!_" It rang in my ears, but I could not help but laugh.

            "You two are weird," I announced.

            "_What?!_" Misao hollered.

            "_I said_--!"

            "_HUH?!_" Kaoru laughed. "_Kenshin, we can't hear you!_"

            "Never mind," I sighed.

            "_WHAT?!_"

            I laughed and shook my head, wincing when the DJ came on to announce the next song. Then, we were listening to Phil Collins singing some tune from _Tarzan_. It sounded really odd at top decibel.

            It was ten o'clock by the time we returned to the apartment. For as exhausted as I was, Kaoru and Misao seemed energized and ready to go for another several hours. At least they were gracious enough to allow me time to use the bathroom and change into my night clothes. The instant I was out of the bathroom, though, they pushed me to the futon and announced we would be watching a movie.

            We ended up watching _Josie and the Pussycats_. The ten minutes I saw were really dumb, and I could not help but feel sorry for those actors. I mean... they would have had to pay me some major money if I was going to behave like that in front of people. Misao and Kaoru, of course, were giggling like crazy. What was worse, Misao started singing along with the introductory song. It was sometime after that when I fell asleep.

            I didn't wake up again until Kaoru pulled me off the futon and sent me to bed.

^_^

            _Bang._

_            The ball hit the floor. It jumped up and met a hand which immediately sent it slamming down again._

_            Bang._

_            "Get the ball, Kenshin." Kaoru's voice urged. I looked up, and she smiled at me, slapping the ball to the floor._

_            Bang._

_            "You've got to get to me."_

_            Bang._

_            "And I'll give you the ball." She moved back, waiting for me to follow._

_            Bang._

_            "But you have to reach me first," she reminded me._

_            Bang._

_            Grinning, I gave chase. I couldn't see her, so I waited to hear her speak. I waited for the sound of the ball, hitting the ground. I waited... and it never came._

_            "Kaoru?"_

_            Moving through the dark, I searched blindly for her. The ball was secondary, really. I wanted to reach Kaoru. She would laugh with me. She would take my hands, pull me around, and tell me to lighten up. I wanted to lighten up. But I had to reach her first, just like she said._

_            "Kaoru!"_

_            "You don't need them."_

_            What? I knew him. He was that guy I hated in the rehab clinic. Of course... I hated almost everyone there. His dark eyes gleamed at me, and I thought of other people with dark eyes._

_            "You don't need anyone," Enishi's voice hissed in my ear, and I drew away. "You're better off without anyone. No one to hold you down..."_

_            I didn't need..._

_            "No one to make you mad..."_

_            Never needed to be--_

_            "Sad... to make you cry..."_

_            Nothing would hurt me again... But... then why am I so scared?_

_            "Come on..."_

_            Never... Nothing..._

_            "It'll be fun!"_

_            Dark, forbidding eyes. A hand reaching toward me. Another, buried in my hair._

_            I'm crying... I can't stop. I'm too afraid._

_            Dark eyes. A light comes on. But it's not a light... It's..._

_            Dark eyes... pale, pale blond hair... a manic grin._

_            Oh god..._

_            "Come on..." A deepened voice._

_            No._

_            "It'll be fine."_

_            NO!!_

            My eyes snapped open, my breath catching in my throat. Heart pounding, chest heaving, I stared into the darkness, disoriented and terrified.

            A dream, I had to remind myself. It was just a dream.

            It made sense, even. After ignoring thoughts of Enishi and that last attack all day, of course I would dream about it. The worry, the constant tension... it consumed every bit of me, and it was reflected in my unguarded sleep.

            The logic of that did not help much. The effort needed to calm my breathing was something not easily come by at two in the morning. Sliding free of my sweaty sheets, I hoped I didn't wake anyone. I put too much weight on my left arm, and I winced, hugging it close to me to prevent doing that again.

            In the kitchen, I found a cup and managed to fill it with water, despite the shaking of my hands. Some of it actually made it into my mouth, although I spilled a bunch down the front of my sweatshirt.

            Cursing softly, I nearly slammed the cup back onto the counter. Remembering the other occupants of the apartment, I slowed the movement at the last minute, splashing more water over my hand before releasing the cup. Just my luck, the cup slipped, and I fumbled for it before finally sending it clattering down into the sink. The noise was painful in the utter silence of the dark room.

            "Shit!" I whispered harshly, fighting the desire to hit something. Shoving against the counter in a quiet temper tantrum, I swore again. Would it never end? Apparently not because I stubbed my toe in the darkness when I was making my way back to my bed.

            I wound up sitting on the floor, my back to the side of the cupboard at the end of the counter which, incidentally, was where I hit my foot.

            "The hell with it!" I hissed, leaning back--cracking my head against the cupboard in the process. The world was against me. I wanted to curl up in a ball and declare that I was never going to face life again.

            That's exactly what I did, minus the 'never going to face life again' bit. I knew I would have to go to class in the morning, but at least I could curl over on myself and pout on the floor near the kitchen. No... pout was not a strong enough word. I seethed. I sat there and cursed my own miserable existence along with Enishi, Jensen, and everyone else who seemed convenient at the time. I sobbed, breathy tearless crying that made me wish I would either be silent or break down completely. But I could not do either, so I continued to take ragged, panicky breaths that made me feel sick to my stomach.

            Yeah. Life sucked.

^_^

Notes: That would be called an anxiety attack. They're as miserable as I made it sound, although not quite as scary (I've heard) as a full-blown panic attack. According to various sources, it's caused by high stress and the inability of a person to cope with it. Think, perhaps, it applies?

Next chapter may take a little while to come out because the author is having some difficulty making it work. Please be patient with me. I promise, I will put it out before too terribly long. (you know… like before next year. ^_~ Maybe a couple weeks.)

Now, for a little lightness…

**Random Omake**: Mistaken identity

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* ...telling me my arm was sprained and that I had to wait some time (which I promptly forgot) before taking it off.... What the hell? Take my arm off?

**Fitz**: Whoops! Better go change that.

**Kenshin**: *walking around with one arm*

**Harrison Ford**: Ah! You killed my wife, one-armed man! Wait... he's too short. Damn. Better keep searching.

**Kenshin**: *blink*

(_The Fugitive_ is owned by its creators, whoever they are. Not me.)

**Random Omake**: Say what?

**Kaoru**: For someone who does not so much as complain when he's got a bruise the shape of Mexico on his stomach--

**Kenshin**: Size.

**Kaoru**: Huh?

**Kenshin**: The _size_ of Mexico. Isn't what you're supposed to say?

**Kaoru**: *blink* No, really. It's the shape of Mexico. See? Doesn't that look like the Yucatan peninsula?

**Misao**: By god, it does!

**Kenshin**: *sweatdrop* This is weird.

Reviewers!! I talk too much. Er… type too much. Skip if you like.

**Imbrium Iridum**: Kenshin hated both costumes, if that makes any difference.

**C-Chan**: Angst you smelled, angst you got.

**futagoakuma-tenshi01**: I think this chapter sort of answered the Kevin question.

**haku baiku**: I do believe I did accept, and I'm waving flags for someone to go second me in the drama section if you know anyone up for the task. *innocent blink*

Glayrockk: Thank you, and I hope I can keep that up. 

**NightRain**: Well… I won't defend Megumi on that. You have a valid argument, and I may delve into it a little later on.

**mvdiva**: Creepy? I thought it was decent enough. They just built an addition on it a couple years ago, didn't they?

**Gypsy-chan**: Aoshi _is_ pimp daddy! *does stupid little dance*

**Red Ninja**: Is a week "quick like"?

**Chiki**: Ah, the white powder was drugs. You pick the type you want because I never specified. (eep! No, not Anthrax)

**DarkHorse**: Everyone likes pimp Aoshi. Maybe he should dress like that more often.

Aoshi: *muttering* Maybe I should cut of my nose to spite my face.

**Crystal**: Now I just need some chocolate chip cookies.

**Chibi Assassin**: _Yay!_ *Dorky-looking happy dance* Hi.

**Akai Kitsune**: Um… no. Not alluding to anything with the vampire thing, actually. Just a random thought.

**Fuuko-san**: Tragic… like one or both of them dies? Well, you never know… *innocent smile*

**Carpetfibers**: Kenshin's not _that _paranoid. Really. I'm being convincing here, aren't I?

**aku-chan**: The cuddle moment was fun to write, actually.

**Neko Oni**: One nervous breakdown, coming right up.

**omochi**: *tsk* You're mischievous.

**Fallen Faith Angel**: You need not ask. I intend to finish this story.

**marstanuki**: Kenshin: *blushing* I was not a diva.

**Gemin16**: You're either young or not American to ask that. ^_~  Zoobas were these awful pants (think sweats) with colored tiger-like stripes on them. They were only fit for pj's or exercise pants, and yet people wore them in public.

**faerie-chan**: Fraggle Rock, the Smurfs, SHE-RA! Ahem. Ahhhh, we loved the eighties.

**Hana Himura**: Picture it. Kenshin with a shepherd's staff. Kaoru in a blue and white frilly apron. A herd of sheep. A house on fire because Kaoru tried to make lamb chops… *wince*

**KiReI**: San Francisco will not be making an appearance this time, I'm sorry to say.

**SVZ**: I'll definitely be updating. And I'm still working with Kamatari.

**Megami No Ushi**: Glad I could be a little different. *pretends to be like average person* Everyone's done with school for the summer, but I'm taking a class. Am I just screwed up for that?

**Summercloud**: And now Kenshin is torn between being irritated at being considered 'cute' and being annoyed that he is now 'less cute.' *snicker*

**sawdust monster**: Not much to say to that.


	31. Avoiding confrontations

**Disclaimer**: Laziness strikes. Fitz chooses not to write anything creative this time. I own nothing.

**Notes**: The story is almost completed. For now, you all may look for a weekly update unless I run into any snags or writer's block on the ending, in which case, I'll announce it. 

**Warnings**: Violence. Kenshin being a wimp.

Kenshin: I'm not a wimp!

Sano: You're chicken.

Kenshin: Exactly! Wait…

If you find yourself on campus and need an escort (not of the dating sort, you silly people) I believe the number to call is 624-WALK. If I'm wrong, there's phones all over the place that have the number on them. A good service to use late at night, actually, especially for those of the so-called fairer sex.

Kenshin: That's not me.

Fitz: I wouldn't be so sure.

Kenshin: Is this make-fun-of-Kenshin day or what?

Enough of that! Onward!!

My Life

            The crack of dawn hit, and I was in the bathroom, getting ready to face another day. I had an eight o'clock class anyway, so it was just as well. It would take me the whole time to get ready with how I felt. My foot and head still hurt from the nights' escapades, and the fact that I had not slept a wink since then did not help matters at all. But it was Friday, and Sano said we'd hang out that night--with Megumi, but who was I to complain?--so I could handle it.

            I went with a button-up shirt that day. That way, I didn't have to lift my arm over my head like I would with a pull-over shirt. I ran a brush through my wet hair and called it done unless I could convince Kaoru or Misao to help me with it.

            Dimly, while I was brushing my teeth, I heard the phone ring, and I wondered who would call at seven in the morning. Unless one of the girls was awake, it would ring until the message service picked it up because I would never make it in time. Sure enough, Misao answered it. I could hear her mad dash across the room while I spat in the sink and put my toothbrush away. She probably thought it was her dearest Aoshi.

            The girl was holding out the phone when I stepped out of the bathroom. I frowned. Sano wouldn't call me so early unless it was an emergency. Neither would anyone else for that matter.

            "It's for you," Misao announced, sounding disappointed.

            "Who is it?" I asked, walking to meet her in the kitchen. I adjusted the strap of the sling over my neck so it didn't dig in so much.

            "Didn't say," she shrugged. I reached for the phone. "Just said he wanted to apologize and explain a few things about Wednesday."

            I might have reacted the same way had I discovered I was about to pet a rabid dog. Recoiling, I sucked in my breath in alarm. Misao blinked wearily, probably wondering what was wrong with the long-haired weirdo across from her.

            "Tell him he can go to hell," I growled. "And he'd better not call here again."

            Her hand was not over the receiver. He would have had to be deaf not to hear me. Misao rolled her eyes and held out the phone again.

            "Tell him yourself," she ordered.

            She had no idea what she was asking me to do. No way in hell could I talk to him without either breaking down or shouting incoherently. So I did the first thing that came to mind. (Well, not the _first_ thing, but everyone would have been mad if I threw the phone against the wall.) I took the phone and slammed it back onto the cradle. Glaring at Misao, although she had no idea why I was so pissed, I walked out of the kitchen.

            "What's your problem?" she called after me. "He wanted to say he was sorry!"

            "Mind your own business, Misao," I snapped, picking up my bag. I hoped it had everything I needed because I was not prepared to spend anymore time in the apartment. As it was, I got stuck trying to get my arm through my jacket sleeve.

            "For god's sake," Misao grabbed the jacket and shoved it up to my shoulders. "You're just being rude, you know. If someone wants to apologize, you should at least hear him out."

            "Sometimes a simple 'sorry' doesn't cut it," I replied, still scowling. I pushed her hands away. "I can do it, Misao."

            "And your hair?" she challenged, referring to the fact I had done nothing with it. It was still loose, half of it tucked awkwardly into my jacket. I pulled it out from my collar and let it drop down my back.

            "What about it?" I retorted, picking up my bag. "Go pester Aoshi."

            It was mean, but she was pushing her nose into subjects I was not keen on discussing. On top of that, Misao was one of the _last_ people I wanted to have to explain this to. She knew that--she must have--when I shut the door on her face. I was going to be early for class, but it was better to sit alone in the classroom than to listen to Misao lecture me about how I should have listened to Mike's apology.

^_^

            A couple girls in my morning class noticed my injured state and took it upon themselves to help me out. That is to say, I spent the rest of the day with my hair in a girl's style. It was half back, and that part was braided. The rest was still left hanging, but at least it did not wrap around my neck or get in my face. A couple people _did_ look at me and ask--aloud--about the presence of a new girl. Really, I had enjoyed several months where no one mistook me for female (except that one lady at the mall, but that hardly counted). It stung.

            Sano took pity on me when we met up in Coffman Memorial Union after my last class of the day. He made me sit and proceeded to rip out half of my hair. I protested, of course, and not quietly. People nearby were laughing, and I was ready to tell Sano to leave my hair in the damned braid, but he got the braid out and somehow managed to maneuver the hair into a decent ponytail. My scalp ached for the rest of the day.

            "We're going to the mall," Sano said, grimacing slightly. "Megumi's going to meet us there."

            "The mall?" I asked weakly, recalling having spent ten hours in a mall the previous day. "Why?"

            "Some of Megumi's friends don't want to spend four hundred dollars on bridesmaids dresses," Sano shrugged, shouldering my backpack and gesturing toward the exit.

            His car was parked on the other bank in the 21st Avenue ramp, which was damned lucky because his dorm was right across the street from it. It also meant that we had to walk across the Washington Avenue bridge to get to it. I was exhausted and not about to admit it, so I just trailed along, glad Sano was carrying my bag.

            "We're checking out the stuff they have in regular stores," Sano continued, holding open the door and letting me through before heading toward the bridge. "Jordan's coming, if you can handle it. If not--"

            "It's fine," I said quickly, offering a smile to reassure him. "I don't mind."

            It would be awkward, to be sure, but I could handle it. Whether or not I went along, Sano would be stuck following the women through dress stores. The least I could do was keep him company. The fact that I felt inexorably (pathetically) safer with him in a public place as opposed to alone in the apartment did more than a little to convince me to tolerate any and all annoyances that evening.

            "How's the arm?" Sano asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence. "I called yesterday, but no one answered."

            "Kaoru and Misao took me out," I explained. "And the arm's okay. Stomach hurts more."

            "No kidding," Sano snorted. "You were spitting blood, and it wasn't from a busted lip."

            "No," I agreed, smiling at the comment. No doubt Sano was recalling his own fist fights that resulted in such bloody mouths. "It's more annoying than anything."

            "Girls doing your hair," Sano predicted.

            "Among other things."

            "Hn," he grunted. We were quiet a little longer, and I glanced out over the river. Some kids were skipping rocks from the sandy bed on the west bank. That was the same place Sano and I had first really talked about anything, over two years ago. It seemed longer, but at the same time, it seemed like just a few months. Had I known him that long? Had I actually kept a friend for so long? It was mind-boggling.

            "Who's Mike?"

            My jaw clenched automatically at the question, and I glanced at Sano in alarm. He was watching me--gauging my reaction--a light frown on his face. I looked away.

            "I've never known you to get so worked up over something," he continued. "What's the big deal? Who is he?"

            He was bound to ask. I should have anticipated it, but I followed the foolish fantasy, assuming no one would question me. No one had bothered before, after all. But then, no one had cared before.

            "Don't ignore me, Kenshin," Sano growled. "And don't tell me he's nobody. You didn't even snap like that at Jonas, and that bastard tried to _kill_ you. This guy accidentally fell on you... although maybe some of that was on purpose. I wouldn't put it past the bastard."

            "Sano..." I muttered warily. He continued to frown at me.

            "It's not like I'm going to condemn you or anything," he offered. "But I swear I thought we would have been picking up pieces of Mike if I'd have let you go the other night."

            "I would have left him whole," I grumbled.

            "Yeah... just maimed," Sano stated bluntly. "So? What is it? You hate him. He kill your pet cat or something? Those nasty gay jokes getting to you?"

            "I hate him..." I echoed uneasily. I did not want to talk about this with Sano. I wanted to avoid thinking about it entirely. Just the mention of it made me recall that Mike had the audacity to call me up at the apartment that morning. Again, the thought that he knew where I lived unnerved me. "It's... there's more to it than that."

            "You hate him because he made you cough up blood?"

            I gave Sano a pained look and glanced away again. We went down the stairs to the courtyard. Across that, past Wilson library, was the parking ramp, our destination.

            "You're making me guess here, Kenshin," Sano complained. He sighed. "All right, so you hate him. That much is obvious. You called him every name under the sun and then some. Let's see... what else did you say? No one else could figure it out."

            "I don't remember," I muttered. I glanced at the library. If I sprinted, I might actually have made it, but Sano wasn't hampered by a sling or a bruised gut, so I doubted it. He was pretty determined.

            "He had to have done something before that made you mad," Sano predicted. He flinched and looked at me cautiously. "This doesn't involve your sister, does it?"

            "Not really, Sano," I sighed. "Look, can we not discuss this right now? I think about it enough as it is."

            "Hey!" Sano glared at me, affronted by my disregard of his concern. "I think I have a right to know. As your best friend, unless you've got another best friend running around here, why shouldn't I get to know why you want to kill this guy? Not to mention I think I should know if there's something seriously wrong with my best man."

            There _was_ something seriously wrong with me. I just wasn't sure what it was. With time, I could probably figure it out. Something must have been wrong with me to make me as screwed up as I was.

            "Look," I stopped, looking at him full in the face. Goddamn it, but he actually looked worried. I mean, really worried. I had to look down again. "I don't want to talk about it, okay? He just... I knew him... sort of... encountered him once, and it was bad--"

            "Bad?"

            "_Just_--!" My hand jumped up in some frustrated gesture, and I froze before letting it drop. "Just bad, all right? I didn't even know it was the same guy until Wednesday, so... well, I can't explain it--" Sano was looking at me strangely. I got a bit defensive, blurting, "I'm _sorry_!" I shrugged helplessly. "I can't."

            "You're afraid of the guy."

            "Shit," I hissed. "Sano, please--"

            "He did something nasty, and now you're scared shitless of him," Sano insisted over my protest. "Why didn't you just _say_ it?"

            "Because then you'd want me to explain it, but I _can't_!" I shot back.

            "Why not?" he scowled.

            "Because--" I stuttered a bit, searching for a reason. "Because... because I won't." It was pathetic, but it was all I could come up with. I glanced back, again thinking I could make a run for the library. My eyes moved back to Sano, then to the ground as I fidgeted restlessly. "Don't push me, Sano. Not on this. I can't deal with this shit right now."

            He didn't say anything for a long time. Likely, he was trying to decide whether or not to go along with the plea. In the end, much to my immense relief, he sighed and grunted in irritated acknowledgment.

            "Let's go meet the girls," he said grumpily. I nodded sullenly and followed him across the street to the ramp.

^_^

            So, we walked through the mall--of America, of course, because why would we go to one I had not been to the previous day?--and we spent five hours trooping around through various stores, looking at dresses. We spent most of our time in Nordstrom, Macys, and Bloomingdale's.

            "All right, boys," Megumi announced. "What do you think of _this_ one?"

            Jordan emerged, looking hideous in beige. Sano winced, and I shook my head. Jordan looked vastly relieved.

            "Thank you," she stated, then walked back into the fitting room.

            Megumi shrugged.

            "It looked okay on the hanger," she observed.

            "Apparently Jordan doesn't have all the traits of the hanger," Sano yawned.

            And so it went. We stopped in the food court to eat. I picked at some French fries and was off in my own world while Sano, Megumi, and Jordan discussed food for the reception. Then it was more shopping and watching the girls try on dresses. A woman in Bloomingdale's took one look at me and turned to Megumi to ask her if she would like to see their selection of petite dresses. She was mortified when she discovered I would be wearing a tux. I was so used to the mistake that I was not overly embarrassed, although it did not bother me one bit that she was.

            For the second day in a row, I left the mall while it shut down. We all took different cars, so we said good night near the Underwater World entrance (the down escalator of which was currently blocked off), and went our different ways. Sano dropped me off at the apartment, and I ran up two flights to the proper floor.

            Kaoru met me at the door with the phone and a pile of little scraps of paper. Her face was grim.

            "He won't stop calling," she told me. I didn't even look at the papers, dropping them straight into the trash. "Messages, phone numbers, places and times to meet... this is harassment bordering on stalking."

            "Ignore him long enough, and he'll get the hint," I said, even though I had a nagging feeling that was not completely true. "Anyone else call?"

            "Your uncle," Kaoru sighed. "Wants to know how you're doing. You should call him."

            "He can wait," I dropped my bag on the floor near the computer and sat down. "I'm going to check my email, and then I'm going to bed."

            "Tired?" she came up behind me and kissed the top of my head. I smiled and looked at her. "Did you get to sleep after you got up last night?" I flinched.

            "You heard that?"

            "The cup that fell in the sink," she nodded. "I heard you crying."

            "I wasn't crying," I contradicted, looking back to the computer.

            Kaoru sighed and leaned against my back, wrapping her arms around my neck lightly.

            "Are you okay, Kenshin?"

            "No," I said bluntly. "Ask me when my arm's not in a sling."

            "Have you told your uncle?" she asked anxiously.

            "No," I shrugged awkwardly. I gave up on trying to check my email for the moment, instead leaning back to meet her embrace. "Just you."

            "You really should tell him."

            "Why don't I just go kick a bulldog?"

            She sighed again. I was frustrating her, but I could not help it. She never got the opportunity to argue the point because Omasu came in then, carrying her bags, calling out wearily.

            "I'm back."

            I shut off the computer and rose, following Kaoru to greet the girl.

^_^

            Although the girls all thought I was crazy, I did go to work the next day. I still had bills to pay and student loans to consider, so missed days were lost money. Well... that, and I really needed to do more than hang around in the apartment all afternoon. Noon to five was covered in the copy center, and I could get some casual conversation in with Kari, which was something different from the stressful interrogations of Kaoru and Sano.

            "What happened to you?" She did ask about it when I dropped my bag behind the desk. I caught the keys she tossed me and unlocked the cash register.

            "Accident," I replied, and that was that. Unlike closer friends, Kari did not press me for details. "Any orders?"

            "Not that you're useful for any book copying," she made a face at me and pointed at a pile of dark sheets on the counter. "There's some microfiche to be done. You can do that one-handed."

            Making sure the cash drawer was in order, I slammed it shut and turned to pull open the pay window. I picked up the indicated order and went to the microfilm/fiche machine to do my job.

            There were more fiche orders than books, and Kari helped me when she was finished. She made idle conversation as we worked, telling me about her week and the report she had to finish that weekend.

            "And my boyfriend is coming home from Kuwait next weekend," she announced at one point.

            "I thought you saw your boyfriend last weekend," I glanced at her in amusement.

            "He's just the boyfriend I keep around while my _real_ boyfriend is in the service," Kari grinned at me. "Brian is finished with his active duty for now. We're going out next Friday, and I'm fully expecting him to pop the question."

            I lifted my eyebrows, wondering if Brian was aware of this high expectation. I did not wonder for long because the microfiche copier decided to shut down at that moment, the screen going black, a little light flashing on the right.

            "Paper jam?" Kari asked carelessly, pushing the copy button on her own machine and watching in fascination as the light dragged across the screen.

            "Out of toner," I shook my head. "I'll need you to change it."

            "I've never done it," she reminded me.

            "Now you can learn." I turned off the machine, regretting the fact that I'd never taught her to do such a simple task before. "Unless you want me to attempt it myself."

            "And risk dumping toner all over the floor?" Kari giggled, already on her feet and walking to the back office. "Where is it?"

            She didn't even know that? Sighing impatiently, I stood and followed her back. Pointing to the cabinet where the toner was stored, I waited as she dug through the box for one and returned, holding it up for approval, as if there were any other random items in the box that could pass for tubes of toner.

            "Right," I nodded to the front, and I explained what she would have to do as we walked. "It's pretty easy..." There was someone at the front window, and I headed in that direction, still talking. "The directions are right on the--_Jesus_."

            "Right on the _what_?"

            I barely registered the question. My attention was fully focused on the man in front of me, demanding to know _why_ he was there. More than that, there was this little panicked voice in my head screaming, '_RUN! RUN AWAY!_' which, of course, I could not do. There was nowhere to run, even if I thought I could outdo someone while my body was as sore as it was at that time.

            He smiled, slow and deliberate.

            "You are very difficult to get ahold of," he murmured.

            I couldn't find my voice, and my head was light. Surely, I was as white as a sheet, but he did not comment. Neither did Kari, actually, but I could feel her, hovering close to my left.

            "I figured if I got you in person, you wouldn't be able to hang up on me," he said in vague amusement.

            My breath hissed in my throat, but I had yet to master it. I was torn between bolting and attacking. Bolting seemed the better idea since I wouldn't be able to do much damage with one arm.

            "Seems like a thing we need to discuss in private--"

            "No." There it was. Voice, back in place, in use... sort of. It had this unstrung quality to it, which was pretty pathetic sounding. I needed to get away from him. "Do I have 'stupid' tattooed across my forehead? Just stay away from me."

            Yep. Pathetic indeed. I didn't care. My heart was pounding, my head spinning, and I had the feeling if I stayed much longer I would lose complete control of the situation, which could end very, _very_ badly.

            I retreated. Turning, I went back to the office, which was actually behind concrete walls with lockable doors unlike the rest of the copy center, which was bordered by flimsy cubicle walls.

            "Red--"

            "Don't call me that!" I snapped. Almost to the double doors...

            "Kenshin--"

            "If you have something you need copied--" I spoke over him, still walking away. I was to the door and almost free.

            "Do you _want_ me to announce this to the world?!"

            "If you _don't_ have business with the copy center, then you need to leave or I'll call down campus security!" I was trying not to shout, and for the most part I was successful.

            "You're a fucking idiot, Red!" Mike _was_ shouting. "You deserve what you get!"

            I didn't reply to that. In the back office, I couldn't see him, nor did I care to. Shivering convulsively, I sat in the chair by the phone desk, trying to still the trembling of my hands--well, just the one since my left arm was still trapped in a sling. Closing my eyes and releasing a shaky breath, I rested my head on my arm on the desk. Things were not going well. Not at all.

            "Um... Kenshin?" Kari called timidly.

            "What?" my voice was muffled and hoarse, but she heard me.

            "I still need help changing the toner."

            Groaning softly, I lifted my head, dragging my hand over my face until I could rest my cheek against my palm.

            "Is he still out there?" I asked.

            "He stormed out like a true scorned lover," she said with weak humor.

            I winced and nodded. Hesitating, not certain how to deal with the fact that I still had things to do, I glanced around. Pausing on the phone, I reached for it.

            "Give me a minute," I said finally. "I've got to make a phone call."

            "Sure."

            Setting the receiver on the desk, I punched in what I hoped was the correct number, then lifted the phone and put it to my ear. A minute later, Megumi's voice came on the line.

            "Hello?"

            "Megumi, it's Kenshin."

            "Kenshin?" she asked blankly. No doubt she was wondering why I would ever go out of my way to call her. I wasn't calling her.

            "Do you know where Sano is?"

            "Oh." I could picture her, a comprehending expression crossing her feminine features, the thought clearly running through her eyes: Now it all makes sense. "Well, I'm going out with him tonight. Other than that--"

            "When?" I interrupted.

            "...The five-thirty showing of--"

            "Megumi?" I cut her off again. "Look, I need a really big favor."

            "What is it, dear?"

            I paused, wondering what had brought on that strange endearment. Shaking my head, I got right to the point.

            "I need Sano to pick me up after work," I told her, cringing slightly as I said it. She knew I finished at five, which would interfere with her movie-going. As to be expected, she tried to provide other options for me--for her.

            "What about your girlfriend?" she wondered. "Or one of your roommates?"

            "I'll make it up to you, Megumi," I was down to pleading. "It's got to be Sano. I just need him to drop me off at home."

            She was quiet for a long time, and I heard her sigh.

            "All right," she murmured. "Why don't you join us tonight?"

            "Excuse me?" I blinked. I had not expected that one.

            "I'll pay for your movie," she said. "Meet us out front of Middlebrook--"

            "I need him to meet me outside the copy center," I interjected.

            "...Okay, I'll let him know," Megumi allowed. "Should I tell him anything else?"

            "No. That's fine," I sighed, relieved that she was not asking any questions. "Thank you, Megumi."

            "Go back to work, dear."

            "Five o'clock," I reminded her. "Sano knows where the copy center is."

            "I'll let him know."

            "Thanks."

            "Good-bye, Kenshin."

            Sighing softly, I hung up the phone. I really was pathetic. It would have been just as easy to call campus security and have someone escort me home. They would have done it. On the other hand, I knew Sano, as did Jensen, and I felt a little less like a wimp to be with a friend.

            "Does this black stuff ever come off your hands?" Kari's voice drifted back from the front, and I smiled, standing and going to join her.

            "Did you get it on your own?"

^_^

            It was awkward infringing upon Sano and Megumi's date that night. It also reminded me that I had not taken Kaoru out in quite some time. I assured myself that I would remedy that very soon. At the moment, though, I felt very guilty about my imposition. Sano probably knew why I was calling on him like that, but Megumi was in the dark and visibly agitated by my presence. Not that I blamed her. I doubt I would have been happy if she or Sano tagged along on one of my dates.

            After the movie, they dropped me off at the apartment before going off to finish their date alone. Sano muttered something to Megumi before walking with me into the building and up the stairs. Embarrassed and feeling bad about that night, I mumbled a quiet 'thank you' to him as I unlocked the door.

            "You want a ride tomorrow?" Sano offered.

            Pride forced me to shake my head. I was not a chicken who could not face his own shadow.

            "Thanks," I said again. "You should go. Your girl is waiting."

            "Don't say that to her," he snorted. "See you Monday, Kenshin."

            "Bye."

            The door closed, and I stared into the apartment. Omasu looked up from the computer, waved, and went back to doing whatever she had been doing. The shower was running, and since I knew Misao was going to visit a friend at a different school that weekend, it had to be Kaoru.

            Sighing at the normalcy of the scene, I dropped my bag by the wall, walked over to the television, picked up the first movie I could locate, and sat on the futon. Twenty minutes later, Omasu plopped down next to me, smiling and informing me she loved _While You Were Sleeping_. I was already bored, but there was little else to do, so I tolerated the movie. My goal was to wait until Kaoru came to join us, but I fell asleep first. It was just that kind of day.

^_^

            As to be expected, nothing happened the following several days. I went to work without incident, attended classes, and even managed to get my homework done between bouts of stressing out about Enishi and everything else that was screwed up with the world. Without the sports to help me work off all my excess energy, I found myself searching for things to do. I annoyed the heck out of everyone around me with my short temper and restless behavior. Even Kaoru got fed up with it, nearly a week and a half after the weekend when Jensen kept harassing me.

            I was cleaning out the bathroom because it desperately needed it, and no one else would do it. My arm still ached, but I didn't wear the sling anymore. It really was not necessary. I just had to be careful about what I did, and bathroom cleaning was hardly strenuous exercise.

            The irritating thing about cleaning the bathroom was that I often ended up discovering things I could have done without seeing. The main object that day was the box of tampons that somehow was left on top of the toilet tank. Now, I knew what they were, why they were used, and basic applications, but that did not mean I wanted to see or touch them--boxed or otherwise. I was content pretending such things did not exist.

            I chucked the damned box right out the bathroom door. At least it was closed--I'd made certain of that--so the individual tampons did not go flying every which way. In hindsight, it was not an overly mature response, but at the time, it felt good to do it. Until, while I was scrubbing down the shower, the box flew back into the bathroom, hit the wall next to me, and clattered to the shower floor.

            "_Omasu_!" Kaoru's voice rang through the apartment. "Don't leave your tampons out like that! What if someone comes over?!"

            "I didn't!" Omasu protested. "I..." I couldn't hear her after that. She probably remembered where she had left them and was blushing about it. Good.

            "_Kenshin_!"

            "Don't yell at me!" I climbed out of the shower and threw my rag into the laundry hamper. "_I'm_ not the one leaving my girl products out in plain sight!"

            "You didn't have to throw them out into the open!" Kaoru shot back, meeting me shout for shout.

            "Well, I'm sorry!" I snapped. "Is it too much to ask that I don't have to see this shit?"

            "There are better ways to tell a person--"

            "I _have_ told you!" I cut off her argument. "_Repeatedly_!"

            "You're being awfully temperamental today," Kaoru scowled at me.

            "Didn't you know?" Misao called over from the kitchen. Just the sound of her voice, interfering with this argument, made me bristle. "Kenshin's a girl too. He's PMSing."

            Growling in irritation, I automatically turned toward her, fully intending to get into her face and make her eat those words. Kaoru took me by surprise, her hands on my shoulders and shoving me back roughly. My surprise and her startling strength combined sent me smacking back into the wall. It was only a step back, and it did not really hurt, but I was shocked.

            "Misao, stop taunting him," Kaoru ordered angrily. She turned her eyes back to me, glaring at me furiously. "And _you_! Stop it. This childish behavior is not becoming."

            "_My_ behavior--"

            "_Yes_, your behavior!" she shoved against my shoulders again, refusing to let me push away from the wall. "Either admit something's bothering you or stop acting like such a baby."

            I opened my mouth to retort, but then thought better of it and kept my peace. Kaoru stepped back, and I proceeded to go off into the corner and pout. That is to say, I sat on my bed, pulled out my notes, and slowly worked through _Oedipus, the King_.

^_^

            I tried. Really, I did. Already on edge, every little annoyance grated on me like fingernails across a chalk board. Somehow, I managed to control my temper. I even ventured to basketball that Monday before Thanksgiving break. Sano told me Mike had not shown up since I blew up at him (attempted to kill him, but who's keeping track?) so I was not overly worried about that. I sat out most of the time, as I was technically supposed to go easy on myself for a few weeks, but I did join in for a few rounds.

            Tuesday evening, I reminded Kaoru of Sano's invitation to Thanksgiving dinner, just to be certain she still wanted to go. The past couple of weeks between us had been strained, and I had the sinking feeling she might decide she'd rather spend time with her family as opposed to her overly moody boyfriend.

            "Am I still going?" she looked at me as if I was crazy for even asking. "Unless you plan to tell me I'm not wanted, I fully intend to go."

            I smiled, vastly relieved.

            "Good," I sighed. I returned the carton of lemonade to the refrigerator and picked up the glass I had just poured for myself. "So, we should bring something. Sano suggested dessert."

            "I can make a pie," Kaoru said with a bright smile. I lifted my eyebrows, trying to hide my skepticism. I must not have been very successful because she poked her lower lip out in a pathetic excuse for a pout. "We could call Baker Square."

            "I'll do that," I murmured, setting down my glass and going to retrieve the phone book. "What kind?"

            "Pumpkin!" she replied immediately. "It's not Thanksgiving without pumpkin pie."

            I found the phone number and picked up the phone, barely registering the brief jingle of it ringing as I lifted it. Uncle Hiko was not happy when I dialed a number in his ear. Then again, neither was I happy to have him shouting at me over the phone. I could hear it before the phone went anywhere near my face. His words were perfectly clear as I held the phone several inches from my ear.

            "_WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME, YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT?!_" 

            My stomach sank. Cautiously, I put the phone to my ear, shooting Kaoru an uneasy glance. Of course I was irritated. I liked to know the reasons before Uncle Hiko started yelling at me, although I had a pretty good idea what he was yelling about... and it did not make me happy.

            "Tell you what, Uncle Hiko?" I asked quietly.

            "Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about," he all but snarled at me. He was pissed. "You said it was an accident. You're lying to me again, Kenshin, and I want to know why. Why didn't you tell me the guy attacked you again?! We could have had the police on that son of a bitch weeks ago!"

            "Uncle Hiko," I was cringing under the fury in his voice, and he wasn't even there. "It's not a big deal--"

            "_The hell it isn't!_" he roared, and I yanked the phone away from my ear in alarm. "_What's going on in that pea-sized brain of yours?! Are you really that stupid?!_"

            "I'm not stupid," I protested weakly, glancing around the room. Omasu and Kaoru were both looking at me in alarm, one with a distinctly uneasy expression in her eyes. And it struck me. Uncle Hiko went off again, demanding to know who the hell I thought I was, that I wasn't showing the maturity of my age, and that he was coming to get me--we'd talk more when he got here.

            My anger intensified, directionless at first, then slowly focusing down on two people. Uncle Hiko obviously was the first, being as he was screaming at me about how to live my life. The other object of my fury was trying to slink off to do her homework.

            "Are you even listening to me?!"

            I couldn't contain it. If ever the phrase 'spitting tacks' applied, it was then.

            "No."

            "Excuse me?" he was shocked. It was apparent by the way the volume of his shout suddenly dropped away.

            "No, I'm not listening to this anymore," I said icily. "Don't bother coming tonight because I won't listen then either."

            "You--"

            The phone made a nice smacking sound against the cradle. I stared at it for a long time, trying to calm my resentful anger. Then, Kaoru spoke.

            "Kenshin--"

            "You told him." I didn't need to ask. I knew she did.

            "Kenshin, hold on a minute--"

            "What gives you the right?" I turned to stare at her, demanding an answer. "What the _hell_ gives you the right to go behind my back like this?"

            "Kenshin--"

            "You tell me to stop keeping secrets, so I tell you, and you fucking _stab me in the back_ with it!" Even Omasu was flinching back at my shouting. Looking at her, I realized I could not stay there that night. Storming around the counter, I snatched up my jacket and shoved my feet into my shoes.

            "Kenshin, don't," Kaoru reached for my arm, but I stopped her with a glare.

            "I'm not discussing this with you right now," I hissed. "Don't follow me."

            I slammed the door in her face, ignoring her tears. I made it outside in record time, nearly bowling over Mrs. Williams with her armful of groceries in the process. It would have been nice of me to apologize, but I thought of that when I was already four blocks south of the apartment.

            I didn't know what to feel. So many emotions flooded through me... Anger, resentment, fear, and worse... the sickening sense of utter helplessness.

            Feet pounding against the concrete, I tried to beat it all back. The wind bit at my face, reminding me that winter was not far in coming and that I should put away the spring jacket in favor of something warmer. My vision swam, the cold wind making my eyes water, but I just dragged my hand over my face to clear the dampness and continued running.

            Maybe, if I had stopped to think, paused to hear Uncle Hiko and Kaoru out, none of it would have happened. It could have ended with the police rather than with me. But I was too angry and did not anticipate the results of my careless running.

            I figured things out quick enough when something caught my arm, fingers catching in the bulky sleeve of my jacket and holding tight. I had been running hard, the speed of my flight almost worth bragging about. Nobody I knew--save, perhaps, Sano--could have stopped me like that, but that hand clamped down on me, yanking back, and my forward progress was brought to a violent halt as the next thing I saw was a brick wall moving swiftly toward me.

            A flash of intense pain, and I was on the ground, groaning as I tried to clear my head. For a moment, I wondered if I really was so stupid as to not have seen that brick wall coming. Then, I forgot to care when my attention was diverted to the searing pain in my scalp, the ground falling away from me, a fist flying toward my face.

            I reacted without conscious thought, pedaling back, away from that attack. The guy missed. Unfortunately, the second man didn't. Something stabbed into my lower back, and I dropped again, gasping at the agony of that move.

            "Come on, pretty boy!" someone laughed, his words wavering in and out. "You're not goin' nowhere!"

            He was probably right, but no self-respecting man would lay there and take that kind of abuse without at least attempting to fight or flee. I will admit that I was young and hardly a grown man, not to mention I barely respected myself at that time, but I was not about to give up so quickly, especially when I had no idea who those guys were and what they wanted.

            One of them caught my ponytail again, and I twisted, kicking out at his legs. He stumbled, falling off to the side momentarily. Again, I managed to fend off one, but I failed to get the other. I thought I needed to work on taking multiple opponents next time I visited Mr. Kamiya, but the pointless notion faded along with everything else when something hit the back of my neck.

            Darkness.

^_^

Notes: *dramatic music* Yes, I left it on a cliff hanger. Now you can all sit and wonder what I'm going to do to our beloved, selfish little brat… erm… to Kenshin. What's going to happen to _Kenshin_.

Next chapter: Another wait. We're jumping back five years.

And now, since I have come up with no Omake for this particular chapter, we have the following, brief discussion and the introduction to Kenshin is a Moron Club. If you'd like to join, please call 1-800-62-MORON.****

**Kenshin**: Okay, so there's this line where I told 'Uncle' Hiko that I'm not stupid. Normally, I like to hold by that assertion. However, running through the streets of Minneapolis is not something a smart person would do.

**Kaoru**: *soothing* You were upset. It's understandable.

**Kenshin**: Understandable for me to be doing stupid things?

**Kaoru**: Now, I didn't say that.

**Sano**: Yes, she did. You're a moron, Kenshin.

**Hiko**: Finally, someone who agrees with me.

**Saitou**: Hn. _I_ have always agreed with that particular statement.

**Kenshin**: Where the hell did _you_ come from?! You haven't made any appearances in several chapters!

**Saitou**: I'm the vice president of the 'Kenshin is a Moron' club. I have to show up when we have these discussions.

**Kenshin**: I'm speechless… erm… who's the president?

**Saitou**: Sadly enough, I was outvoted. *points to president*

Kenshin: o.O _Kaoru?!_

**Kaoru**: *nervous giggle* Well, you _are_ a bit of a moron, Kenshin.

(Little disclaimer: I am not responsible for anyone who actually dials that number up there.)

Reviewers!! I talk too much. Er… type too much. Skip if you like.

**SVZ**: Kenshin: *walks around shirtless* That good enough for you? *kicked out of stores for violating 'no shirt, no shoes, no service' policy*

**Fuuko-san**: Be busy. It's nice to be busy. I'm bored, and my writing suffers.

**Hana Himura**: He'll wear a scarf. That way it doesn't matter because you can't see it anyway.

**Crystal**: *blink* Now I've got twice the cookies, 'cause Mom made me make some this week. *ignores bathroom scale and eats cookies*

**haku baikou**: That was interesting to write. I must have written it four times before I finally got it to a point where I liked it.

**C-Chan**: You can bet this story will not end without an Enishi appearance.

**mvdiva**: *Righteous Brothers dance by singing 'That Lovin' Feeling.' What? Not quite what you had in mind?

**Calger459**: Those past two chapters were necessary evils. Something like fillers not only to develop a few characters but to also help keep in mind that life does keep going despite any problems you may have. God knows it's hard.

**NightRain**: Yes, I did have that planned, actually. It's about to get more complicated, too. The true test will be to see if I can keep track of it all.

**Iram**: Never had to deal with the languages, but I know what it feels like to move a lot. And watch the Moments in Time updates. Kaoru's chapter will appear any time now.

**Red Ninja**: I sympathize. I do know what it feels like, and it's not pleasant at all.

**Ms. Videl Son**: Good to hear, actually. I'm just trying not to make it a soap opera.

**Carpetfibers**: Minnesota's not that dull. Just depends on what you do with your time. Just because we don't have any major political (or Hollywood) action going on here… I'm just blowing hot air, aren't I?

**Glayrockk**: I'm going as fast as I can (and still keep it somewhat satisfactory). It doesn't help that I have about four other things I'm poking at. Sorry.

**Megumi**: Er… yeah. Aoshi and Misao _were_ going at it like little minks. And this story actually won't continue too much longer.

**Chiki**: You know… that voting thing on the fic of the year etc. kind of bothered me. It's  anonymous, and it seems that it's set up so one can vote as many times as they please. Now…Tell me if I'm wrong… I didn't attempt to vote yet, and I'm not overly concerned about winning anything, but I don't see how that's a fair setup.

**sawdust monster**: We may yet see him again.

**omochi**: Okeedokey.

**marstanuki**: Megumi: Are you implying that I stink?

**Megami No Ushi**: Glad I was able to surprise some people. And I'm taking Geology.

**futagoakuma-tenshi01**: Weird?

**Gemin16**: *blink* Definitely younger than me? When did I display my age? (not that I'm disagreeing with you.) And you're right. If Kenshin trusted more people, he would probably not be in such a fix.

**Neko Oni**: Kenshin: And anyway, I was injured. (Defensive? Noooooooo)


	32. Beginnings

**Disclaimer**: I do not now nor have I ever owned Rurouni Kenshin or any of its characters. Mike, Kevin, Jonas, Kari, Jenny, Mr. Stevensen, Mr. Johnson, and the random police officers are mine. (Did I miss anyone?)

**Notes**: Okay, the following is a bunch of scenes that I wrote while I was writing the story, with the intention of inserting them earlier on. However, as I went, I began to formulate a plan *zoom to Fitz rubbing hands together and cackling madly* thinking they might work better as a solid, flashback chapter during the climax of the story.

**Warnings**: Drug use, implications of assault… and Smurfs. La la la-la la laaaa! La la-la la _laaaaaaaa!_

_Kenshin_: *walks up to microphone nervously* Excuse me. May I have your attention, please?

_Audience_: *quiets*

_Kenshin_: *deep breath* Oooooohhhhhh, my lo-ove! My darling! I've huuungered fooooor… your touch!

_Fitz_: *snicker* Thank you to mvdiva for providing the inspiration to this bizarre display.

_Kenshin_: Can I stop singing now?

_Fitz_: No.

_Kenshin_: *sigh* I neeeeeeeeed your love!

_Fitz_: I do not own Unchained Melody.

Onward!!

My Life

            I had the strangest desire to watch an episode of Smurfs. It was a ridiculous concept, considering I was sitting in Chemistry class at the time. My head ached, my hands were trembling, and I thought I might ask the teacher to be excused to the bathroom where I would spend the next five minutes determining whether or not I would throw up. It was one of my bad days.

            "Kenshin."

            Hearing the teacher speak my name, I lifted my head enough to look at him. The guy was more of a freak than I was. He was in his forties with long hair in a messy ponytail. His personality left much to be desired--he treated all students who were not in his beloved 'Honors Chemistry' class like we were idiots who would never amount to anything. Considering some of us... that was not entirely without merit. That did not mean we deserved it, though. And he was staring at me like he would the bit of gum on the bottom of his shoe.

            "Would you tell us what this picture depicts?" he pointed at the overhead screen where a picture was projected. It consisted of translucent blue and white round things... kind of like those Smurfs. My mind was drifting. What was the topic for the day again?

            "Um... an atom..." I said cautiously. There was probably more to the damned picture than that, but I did not particularly care. I was failing this quarter already anyway. Why had I even bothered taking the class? It was not as if it was required.

            "Very good, Kenshin," Mr. Stevensen drawled, sounding just the slightest bit sarcastic. "Jim, tell Kenshin what else is in this picture."

            I glanced at the picture again, completely missing whatever Jim said. It was a positively charged atom if the teacher wanted to be that specific. God forbid I simplify it a bit. I looked down at the handout on my desk--it was the same picture. The topic for the day, according to the handout, was 'Ions.' Well, there you had it. An atom with a charge. Give the student an A for figuring things out.

            I was ready to go home, but it was only second period. That meant I had five left, not to mention lunch. The thought of food made me sick to my stomach. Oh, it was going to be a long day.

            "Hey!" someone hissed beside me. It was a girl with plain blue eyes and mousy brown hair. I thought her name was Jenny. She whispered again when she saw me look. "You gonna be okay, Kenshin? You look sick."

            Not happy that she had noticed, I glared at her and clasped my hands in my lap under the desk.

            "Do you have something to share with the rest of the class, Jennifer?" the teacher asked. He was especially irritating that morning. Nine o'clock was far too early for such antagonism.

            "I was just asking Kenshin if he felt well, Mr. Stevensen," she replied readily. It was like first grade again with the class tattletale sitting right next to me. The bitch--I bet she never would have been called _that_ by a six-year-old.

            "Kenshin?" Stevensen did not look at all worried. He wouldn't. He knew me too well to think for an instant any of this might actually be real.

            I hunched down in my chair, gripping my arms with the opposite hands and trying to hug away the chill that had settled deep within me. Only time and patience would make that disappear. There were other methods, actually, but none I dared turn to.

            "Stop disrupting my class," Stevensen stated, addressing both Jenny and me. It figured. I had not done anything wrong, and I _still_ got rebuked. Just because I had missed two solid weeks out of his class, not to mention the times I skipped during the fall...

            The day continued as normal. No, that was not exactly true. Normal was entirely relative these days. My routine was normal. I got up in the morning, got dressed, choked down whatever breakfast Uncle Hiko had set out for me that day, brushed my teeth and hair, and caught the bus to school. At school, I floated through class--either learning something or not, depending on the day--went to lunch where I rarely ate anything, then more class, and then back to the bus for the trip home. At home, I sat down and attempted my homework, watched some television, had dinner, and went to bed. It was a routine from which Uncle Hiko refused to allow me to deviate. Any alteration of the routine required permission far in advance and usually came along with a shit-load of rules.

            The bus was probably the worst time of the day. Since the school consisted of both the high school and middle school--sixth through twelfth grades--I had to endure nearly twenty minutes of sitting with kids ranging from ages twelve to eighteen. There were more younger kids. Eleventh and twelfth graders were allowed to drive their own cars to school and a lot of them took full advantage of that privilege. Then, there were those who had their license privileges revoked until we turned eighteen--twenty-one for those of us with a temperamental uncle.

            The younger kids were full of mocking words and taunts, although not all of it was aimed toward me. The older they got, in general, the more smooth they were with their insults. It pissed me off when some of those people turned their eyes away from their current conquest and toward me. As if they thought they could intimidate me. Despite my size and bearing, I was not some weak-willed child. They usually ended up eating their words.

            After lunch that day, I got a pass from the counselors' office. Mr. Johnson was my official guidance counselor, and I sat in his office, listening to him talk. I could not have cared less about what he thought.

            "Mr. Stevensen was concerned that you might be having some difficulties again, Kenshin," Mr. Johnson told me after we went through the whole 'how are you? how are classes going?' spiel. He watched me, his eyes not staying on my face. I clasped my hands and held them clenched between my knees before he could notice how they shook. Mr. Johnson stared at my hands for a few seconds before looking back to my face. "Do you have anything you would like to discuss?"

            "No, sir," I mumbled. The answer was one he must have been expecting. It was the same response I always gave. Is there a problem, Kenshin? No, sir. Do you want to talk about it, Kenshin? No, sir. Would you like a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, Kenshin? No, sir. Yes, the guy had once asked me that. He was an irritating son of a bitch, and of course he was my guidance counselor for the entirety of my years in high school.

            Mr. Johnson sighed, as if exhausted by the effort it took to be in my presence. I kept my head down, my eyes trained on a piece of gum that had long ago been ground into the carpet.

            "It's been two weeks, Kenshin," Mr. Johnson continued, "since you returned to school. How are your studies?"

            "Okay." I was passing at least half of my classes. Not bad, considering my two-week absence. I would be taking several incompletes.

            "Life at home?"

            I offered that stain on the floor a withering glare. Like that was any of his business. Mr. Johnson knew that, and he could not pry without the possibility of being accused of harassment. Not that I would try. Who would care? Nobody that mattered, that much was certain.

            "I'll come right to the point, Kenshin," he said finally. "I would appreciate an honest answer, although I'm sure you'll just tell me whatever you think I want to hear." _Bastard_. "Have you been smoking again?"

            Smoking. Is that what he called it? Smokes were the least of it. They could cause lung cancer and however many other diseases, but they did not make a person think he could fly. They did not draw a person to lechery. No, a plain cigarette could do none of that.

            I glanced at him, seeing his shrewd stare, before looking back down at the carpet.

            "No, sir."

            He sighed.

            "Would you tell me if you were?" he asked quietly. The honest answer to that? What could it hurt?

            "No, sir." I was not dumb enough to do that. I had been through rehab once and had no desire to do it again. Of course, the easiest way to accomplish that was never to give anyone reason to shove me into that godforsaken clinic. That was exactly what I intended to do, no matter how difficult it seemed. Although, there were days--like that day--I wished someone would put me out of my misery. A merciful person would have taken one look at me and, at the very least, knocked me out.

            "I just want to help you, Kenshin," Mr. Johnson said, sounding as if I was placing the weight of the world on his shoulders. "You seem to be having so much trouble..."

            _Oh, get off it,_ I thought rather unfairly. He was on his high horse again, thinking he could fix everything with his concern. I had made a mistake. I knew that. Everyone knew that. What I was just beginning to understand was that it would take a long time before my life would be even remotely normal. For some reason, Mr. Johnson and everyone else did not see this. They thought I was clean again, therefore I was ready to face society as easily as any other kid. They were wrong. Only Uncle Hiko ever seemed to know that.

            "I'm trying, Mr. Johnson," I said finally. It came out sounding like an irritated growl. I _was_ trying. Sometimes I drifted, sometimes I was as clear as the winter sky on a frozen sunny day. Today was a cloudy day. If he would just get that and let me trudge through it--

            "That's not what some of your teachers say, Kenshin."

            Idiot. I hated him. I glowered at the carpet, silent and willing him to realize that he was not helping me by taking me out of class.

            A few minutes later, Mr. Johnson finally did get it. He reluctantly handed me a pass and told me to return to English. I stood and left the office.

^_^

            The school year ended, and I was officially a senior. Granted, I had to work hard and take a few classes over in order to graduate. I was not really up for the challenge, but I did it anyway. I was hardly a straight-A student, but I did get several B's and C's and even a couple A's. Not a single D my senior year, and I did not fail anything.

            That much, at least, was good. Even so, it was a depressing year. While I had come a long way from the person I had been for nearly two years early on in high school, my reputation was such that people avoided me. My list of friends was nonexistent. I moved through the months, alone and refusing to admit I did not like it. After awhile I got used to it. I was numbed to the stares and whispered comments. It was a little irritating at times, but the pain of it disappeared. I had more important things to worry about than the views of a bunch of high school students.

            Like one fall afternoon while I sat in the counselor's office... again. Senior year had seen me in that office less frequently than the previous year, but I still found myself there far more often than the average student.

            "Have you thought about what you're going to do when you graduate, Kenshin?" Mr. Johnson asked, startling me with the question. Truth be told, I had not. The present--getting through each day--had been my focus as of late.

            "No, sir. Not really," I muttered. Mr. Johnson's brow jumped a little. I thought it was caused by how I addressed him more than the answer itself. He had a thing against titles. His favorite students just called him 'Johnson' and even by his first name--which I did not know. The 'sir' bugged him, but I was not about to change my habits for his comfort. I could handle calling him _Mr._ Johnson every now and then, but the 'sir' just came naturally to me. I had used it since I was little. It was one of those things pounded into me by my overbearing uncle.

            "What do you think you want to do?" he challenged.

            I had no idea. Get a job, maybe? Get away from this little town, that much was certain.

            "I don't know, sir."

            "Well, let's take a look at some things here," he pulled out my file. It was pretty thick, and I was willing to bet most of that was not my best accomplishments. He pulled out a piece of paper and studied it with a little smirk. "You did very well on your ACT. Did you know that?"

            "No, sir." Honestly, I had not paid much attention to it. Uncle Hiko had smirked and patted me on the back when we got the results in the mail, but other than that...

            "A thirty-two," he murmured. "If I did not know better, I'd say you cheated."

            "I didn't cheat!" I was offended that he would even suggest such a thing. Sure, I did some miserable, illegal things, but I would sooner fail than cheat.

            "I know that," he grinned at me. "So either you've got some brains in there that you're trying to hide, or you're very good at guessing."

            Maybe a little of both. Asshole. Mr. Johnson continued to smile at me.

            "With these scores, you may be able to get into a decent college despite your record," he told me.

            That had not occurred to me. College? I had assumed no one would want me in their school. But... Mr. Johnson looked so pleased... and he wasn't even insulting me. I lifted my head a bit, looking at him warily.

            "You think that's possible?" I asked cautiously.

            "You never know until you give it a shot," he picked up his phone and pushed a couple numbers, putting the phone to his ear. "Janis? Do we have any extra applications for the state colleges around?... Great! Could you bring them in?"

            He hung up and offered me a triumphant look. I was a bit confused. Applications? But it was so soon. No one applied for college this early, did they? It was yet early December.

            "You've improved quite a bit in the past year, Kenshin," Mr. Johnson stated bluntly. "And I think that with a nice letter of recommendation, you could get into Minnesota State U or the U of M. What do you think? Does that appeal to you?"

            No one got anywhere these days without some sort of college degree. It would be awfully nice... And if Mr. Johnson was so confident that I could do it, then why shouldn't I try?

            "You really think I could get in?" I took the application he was holding out. The secretary had just handed them to Mr. Johnson, while I was lost in thought. I gazed down at the papers uncertainly. "Who would give me a letter of recommendation?"

            "Do you have any teachers whose classes you have done well in?" he countered.

            "My English class..." I blinked at the papers, then looked up at the man. "If I tried... You think maybe I could go to the University?"

            Mr. Johnson smirked.

            "You have no idea how much it pleases me to hear you talk like this, Kenshin," he confided. "Why don't you go talk to a couple of teachers about those letters, and I'll see what I can do about getting your transcripts released?"

            "Really?" It sounded too good to be true. But Mr. Johnson just continued to smile.

            "Come see me tomorrow before school," he ordered. "Seven-fifteen. Can you get here by then?"

            "I'll try to get a ride," I murmured, looking back to the application in my hand. The bus would get me to school by seven-fifteen at the earliest. I was just grateful that it got me there early enough so that I could go to my locker and then to class with a minute to spare.

            "If not, I'll send a pass to your study hall," he assured me. "Now, go on. I'll see you tomorrow. Fill that out tonight."

            "Sure..." I stood, a bit giddy at the prospects of actually doing something with my life. A year ago, it had not seemed possible. But with that application in my hand... I had not hoped so much for something like this in a very long time. And to think it would be a couple months before I would find out.

^_^

A winter walk

            _Bleached blonde hair... spectacles intended for reading disguised as hippie glasses... a knowing smile. Enishi is always like this. But now... I don't want his false cheer. I don't want any cheer. I just want to sit here, alone with my grief. The funeral was the day before yesterday, so I had the right to be miserable... right?_

_            But Uncle Hiko let him in. He thinks it's a good idea for me to get out, even if it is Enishi. He doesn't know what a rotten person Enishi is yet. He's friendly enough, but he's different. He's as false as that smile of his. Completely, totally... I don't know how, but he is._

_            We walk through a haze. I think it's the park. There's no one else around, but that's okay. Whenever I'm with Enishi, people stare at him... and me. Mostly him._

_            It's cold out, and the air makes my nose run. It's snowing again. The white is gathering in my hair. The hair, which I haven't cut yet. It flops down in my eyes, and I use it so I don't have to look at Enishi. I sniff, trying to clear my nose. I hate the winter. I hate everything about it._

_            "You gonna cry?" Enishi asks._

_            I'm not going to cry. I cried less than a week ago. It's Friday. Did she only die last Sunday? It seems so distant... a lifetime. The pain is still there, but it's hard to find. It's hidden down deep in a sea of pain medication and shock._

_            Enishi has his arm around my shoulders--very carefully, of course, as my shoulder is still recovering from having been knocked out of alignment several days earlier. I ignore him. If I pretend he's not there, maybe he'll just go away. Then, I'd have to find my way back home without him, but is it really so bad to be left alone in this cold? I will probably wander until I am so hopelessly lost that there is nothing left to do but sit and let the cold have me. Is that much worse than being out here with Enishi? Really? I don't think so._

_            "The snow is too thick to see through," Enishi announced casually. "Let's stick to the park. You never know if someone might not see us on the road."_

_            The words cut into me as sure as if he had used a knife. I don't know if he meant it to be so cruel. With Enishi, I never knew._

_            "It's freezing out here!" Enishi announces, shuddering for effect. I wince once before the pain fades again. Whatever the doctors gave me is pretty strong stuff. Enishi's unexpected movement had barely penetrated. I am almost grateful it had, though. Physical pain is a distraction, and I want to be distracted. Odd, that. I never considered myself to be the masochistic sort. Am I strange for that?_

_            "Hey, kid," Enishi is talking again. Won't he leave? "What do you want?"_

_            I want you to go away. I want..._

_            He stops and turns, his hands on my shoulders stopping me as well. I look into his dark eyes and wonder what secrets he's hiding behind that stupid smirk. But the smirk is gone right now..._

_            "You've got to talk, kid," he tells me. I think this is the most solemn he's ever been. How strange that he does it out of concern for me. How very unlikely. "Tell me what you want."_

_            He won't take silence for an answer. Uncle Hiko is like that, too. Ironic. And really, there is but one answer to his question._

_            "I want my sister back."_

_            "That ain't gonna happen, kid."_

_            "Then don't ask." Jerk. I hate him sometimes, even though he's a relative... sort of. He's scary. But no one else seems to notice. I wonder why not._

_            There's something between us--something that looks suspiciously illegal. But Enishi doesn't seem worried. He's still not smirking. He just holds up that little white thing, as if he wants me to take it._

_            "It'll make you feel better," he explains finally._

_            "Says who?" I demand, but I can't take my eyes off it. I know those things are outlawed for a reason, but don't people use it for their health, too? So it can't be that bad, can it?_

_            "Have I ever lied to you, kid?" Probably. But possibly not. Again, it is hard to tell with Enishi. "It'll help."_

_            I stare at the joint, knowing better. I _know_ better. But if it'll make it go away... I will try anything._

_            My hand moves on its own, against my wishes. I have the thing in my fingers, and it's lit, and I put it to my lips..._

^_^

            I was such an idiot. Marijuana was relatively harmless in and of itself.* What was dangerous about the damned drug was that it had this nasty tendency to lead into stronger things--cocaine, heroin, ecstasy and countless others.

            I was a fool for believing Enishi. It did not help. It made things worse. And only the first few had been free... after that, he began demanding payment, saying he could not afford to just give his stuff away. Like an unemployed, fifteen-year-old boy could come up with that kind of money. So I learned how to get it without anyone else knowing. Picking pockets was a simple enough thing, but it was mostly small change--certainly never more than a couple hundred bucks. It was barely enough. Until later, when it wasn't. And I racked up a debt. I still have not paid that off...

^_^

*Not really harmless. Ever seen those commercials about people driving under the influence of marijuana? Yeah… but as far as the drug causing direct, permanent damage, I don't believe it's overly bad in comparison to most others. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

^_^__

_The beginning..._

            Shouting... so much shouting. It wasn't me this time. I couldn't shout. I couldn't scream. I was crying too hard to do either.

            The bed shifted, and I jumped, but it was only me, rocking back and forth on the tangled comforter. The other guy was still in here. I wanted to leave, wanted to run screaming into the night, but I just sat on the bed, rocking, hugging myself, and sobbing.

            The room smelled. It smelled like smoke, overpowering and depressing. It smelled like booze--something strong. Someone had thrown up in here not too terribly long ago. The odor was rancid. The bed... where I sat... smelled like blood, sweat, and sex. It made me ill to my stomach, and I held a hand over my mouth and nose in desperate attempt to escape it.

            There was no escape from it. The shouting grew louder, and that guy--_did he just move?_--was still on the ground nearby. His head was bloody... bloody just like she had been. But this time it was my fault. It was my doing, my mistake. But he tried to hurt me, and I didn't want to do what he wanted to do, and I knocked over that lamp and had to grab it...

            The room seemed brighter, the shouting louder. I huddled against my legs, folded up in front of me, the hand not over my mouth moving on its own to protect my head. I couldn't stop crying. It was too much--too much happening, too much... whatever in my system, too much. I couldn't... couldn't...

            "Calm down honey..." some lady was talking to me, touching me. I jumped at the hands on my arms, scrambling back, away from the contact, telling the person not to touch me, don't touch me, I don't want to do that, don't...

            "Is that a boy?" People talking. I didn't know what they wanted. Just as long as they stayed away from me, I could huddle back against the headboard, safe from that guy--where was he?!

            "I thought... my god! Is he okay?"

            "He looks okay... scared."

            That lady touched me again, my head, her hand in my hair. I shook my head, trying to get away, telling her I didn't want it, stay away from me.

            "Terrified," she said.

            "Take him to a squad car," one of the men said.

            "We'll check the rest of the house."

            "Come on, kid," the lady pulled on my arms again, and I jerked back. She was strong for a woman. I couldn't get out of her grip. "I'm not going to hurt you. We're going to get you out of here. Come on..."

            The thought of leaving made me pause, and she pulled me forward. I faltered and stumbled as I fell off the bed. She kept me on my feet, and I tried to pull away again. Hands on my arms... forcing me around...

            "Stop..." I didn't know who said that--her or me. I couldn't see anything. The blackness was familiar, and I wanted it. I wanted it to take me. Forever.

            The world disappeared.

^_^

_Another beginning..._

            My graduation party was a small, informal thing. Only family members came because I did not invite anyone from school. There seemed to be little point in doing that anyway. So, Aunt Tokio came over, along with some relatives I did not remember having. Enishi couldn't come--something about a sports club. Right. If passing Speed could be considered sports. One long game of football where instead of a pigskin, they passed around illegal drugs.

            Uncle Hiko provided the drinks. It was not too difficult to place out a few bottles of beer, some cans of pop, and juice boxes. Aunt Tokio had always been a great cook, so she made a chicken dinner.

            It was uncomfortable, the whole ordeal, and it lasted maybe two hours before almost everybody left. My family never was very close--just Aunt Tokio because she was Dad's sister. She took care of us after Dad died, but at the time her situation was not great, and Uncle Hiko got legal custody. Maybe things would have been better with her taking care of us, but I would never know, and there was little use in brooding over it. 

            Later, Aunt Tokio announced the family's present to me--a trip to London that summer. It was a surprise, but I took it like I took everything. That is to say, I nodded and offered a less-than-sincere sounding thank you. I liked it, to be sure, but it was difficult to put much emotion in my voice. I had not done that for quite some time, and to up and smile happily was not going to happen.

            Uncle Hiko gave me a card. It looked like he had run to Hallmark at the last minute, picked up the first 'congratulations, high school graduate' card he had seen, signed his name at the bottom, and was done. Nice enough, but not particularly funny nor filled with much sentimentalism. I probably threw it away after a couple days, but I might have lost it somewhere. Uncle Hiko might have thrown it out with the rest of the trash left on the tables.

            Finally, the party ended, and everything continued like normal. Over the summer, I picked up some odd jobs, here and there, spent a lot of time running or just lounging in my room or downstairs. Of course, late July, early August, Aunt Tokio took me to London for two weeks. That was an interesting experience, but I was grateful to return home at the end.

            Then, it was time to hurry and get ready for college. I got the necessary essentials for my dorm room and packed my belongings. Uncle Hiko made me go to an 'orientation weekend' which I could have done without. They made everyone play games, do crafts, talk in groups, and even perform little skits at the end. The more outgoing students in my group made me their 'project,' which I did not appreciate one bit. They made it their goal to get me to talk more. I was not up for that challenge, considering the headache I got every time we had to walk by the coffee can where the smokers gathered. I so wanted to join them... but someone would grab my arm and drag me off somewhere else. Yay.

            Finally... I went to college, where I met my first roommate.

^_^

Notes: It jumps all over the place, I know. The age range is 15-18, and I'm sure you can all figure out how old he was and when.

Next chapter: Kenshin vs. Enishi. Is this a fight anyone can win?

**Random… thing**: The sites of England

**Kenshin**: *dressed in classic tourist gear, including camera hanging around his neck* Let's go see the Eiffel Tower!

**Tokio**: *also dressed in touristy-type clothes* That's in Paris, dear. We're going to see the English Channel.

**Kenshin**: Well _that's_ boring. Can we see the Sistine Chapel at least?

**Tokio**: That's Rome, hon. Italy. Focus. We're in England.

**Kenshin**: *sigh* Where the highlight of our day will be to watch the changing of the guards?

**Tokio**: Want me to dump you out of the boat? We'll see if _you_ can swim the English Channel.

**Kenshin**: O.O No, ma'am.

Okay… whatever. So I could not come up with much.

Reviewers!! You know the drill. It's long. Skip it if it does not apply to/interest you..

**mvdiva**: Kenshin: *muttering and washing clothes* Because this is _so_ much better than going for a run. *muttercomplain*

**haku baikou**: Repetitive responses as well, I suppose.

**SVZ**: *winces at Math teacher comment* Wow. When I get my major, I'll make certain you're not in any classes I teach. And keep rambling. I like it.

**futagoakuma-tenshi01**: Not following with all the excitement in this chapter, but it will next time.

**omochi**: *shakes Kaoru's hands, pats Kenshin's back, and wags finger in scolding manner at Hiko* I think that covers it.

**Ms. Videl Son**: Technically, 800 numbers are toll free. And as for his attackers, it may not be who you think. Kenshin honestly did not recognize them.

**chibicherry**: Kenshin: *standing in karate class* Come on. I'm not that bad! There were two of them!

**Neko Oni**: Hear that, Kenshin? Someone thinks you're _not_ a wimp! That would be the minority.

**Glayrockk**: Happy ending? Ohhhh, I'm not sure… *snicker* 

**C-Chan**: Enishi: *purring contentedly* 

**Vesca**: All right, everyone! Sit down, shut up, and be happy, damn it!

Kenshin et al: o.O What's with these people?

**Fuuko-san**: It's the same reaction everyone has. A secret told, even if it's for the best, and they feel betrayed. I guess I'm copying it from every book, TV show, and movie I've seen.

**Chiki**: Favorite is as far as it goes. Like 'best,' 'worst,' or 'perfect.' It's my pet peeve when people say 'more perfect' because once it's reached perfection, it can't get any better. It's like saying 'I up you infinity + 1!' It sounds childish and uneducated.

**Akai Kitsune**: Kenshin has now been treated like a princess _and_ a dog, all in one chapter's worth of reviews. Impressive. *watches Kenshin scurry away with his tail between his legs* o.O Where did that come from?

**NightRain**: I have to agree with you, actually. I'm not feeling all that much sympathy myself, but I have to keep with the character, no?

**Calger459**: Ah… well, anyone who really cared would have done the same. A lot of people would have reacted badly to that.

**Megumi**: *flaps fluffy fox tail* I _am_ going as Kurama to the next con. Easiest costume I've ever made. (How many have I made, you ask?…Two, if you include Kurama.)

**nekonomiko**: Agreed. Kenshin was being a brat. I have only studied very basic psychology, but I have seen what intense stress can do to a person and how they react. I actually toned down Kenshin's reactions quite a bit in comparison to some of what I've witnessed/been part of.

**angelicyokai**: Sorry for making you pout. Keep pouting until next week, though.

**E-san**: *blink* I saw the 'baited' and am compulsively driven to correct it to 'bated' breath. (Imagine how fishy your breath would be if it was baited.) Sorry. I know I'm irritating that way. Anyhoo, I'm glad you're liking the story. You'll have to wait to find out about those people.

**Crystal**: *passes out* Oh dear god! 115! We're talking whale-sizes here! (Note this is sarcasm to the extreme. Our beloved author weighs far more than this. I am content with my weight, though, as I stand at six foot.)

**tesuka-chan**: Kenshin's story would be a classic case of everything going to hell. Odd how it seems to like doing that all at once. As far as Kaoru goes, you'll have to wait and see if she decides to put up with Kenshin.

**Mip the Demon Fox**: Kenshin is grateful someone acknowledges his worth.

Kenshin: _Yes!_ I am _not_ a complete idiot!


	33. The smoking gun

**Disclaimer**: Don't own it. Leave me alone. (I do, however, now own a She-Ra shirt. *cheers for Princess of Power* Step aside, Kenshin. She-Ra rules.)

**Notes**: The chapter you waited for. I hope I don't disappoint.

**Warnings**: Violence to an extreme. This chapter is the biggest reason I changed the rating of this story. You have been warned.

And now… without further adieu. Onward!!

My Life

            There was a moment of distant awareness, sometime much later, someplace a lot darker and colder. I was moving. Icy air rushed over me, whipping something else around me, something that crackled and snapped in the wind. It flapped in my face, and I flinched away from it, curling around myself for warmth and protection.

            The sick roar of an engine, the aching vibrations of the hard bed beneath me... I was in a car--a truck to be more specific. Disoriented and sore, I just stared dumbly at the ridged surface, flinching again when the green, plastic tarp flapped around me again.

            The truck turned sharply, and I was rolling, sliding, slamming into something hard. The world disappeared again.

^_^

            My head hurt, as did most of the rest of me. The throbbing spreading through my skull like some black, painful... thing was what held most of my attention. The soft pillow beneath my head was a relief, and I relaxed with a sigh against it, absently reaching to pull the blankets over my head.

            Reality set in when the movement was brought to an abrupt halt, the jerk sending tingles of unpleasant sensation through my hands. Startled, I opened my eyes, wincing when the light brightened dramatically, forcing me to blink in attempt to grow accustomed to it.

            "Welcome to the land of the living, Sleeping Beauty."

            The clichéd line might have made me roll my eyes in any other situation. The voice which said it, however, was enough to convince me to open my eyes fully, and I stared apprehensively at the man sitting so casually on a chair beside the bed.

            It was a familiar chair, as was the bed one I knew. Glancing around uncertainly, I recognized the surroundings and wondered how we had ended up in my own bedroom--back at Uncle Hiko's house.

            "Enishi's out grabbing a snack," Mike said, strangely subdued. "We've been waiting awhile, you know. I thought maybe they'd beat you into a coma."

            He was talking quietly, like he didn't want someone to hear him. That did not comfort me as I slowly took in my situation. My hands felt strange, almost devoid of all sensation, because someone had gone so far as to bind my wrists together in front of me. I stared at the rope for a few seconds, then followed the tail end up to see where it tied to the bedpost. I was stuck unless Mike decided to turn a blind eye while I attempted to undo that knot at the side of the headboard.

            "What..." my voice was hoarse, dehydration taking its toll. I swallowed thickly, closing my eyes in attempt to block out the scene, to keep this calm that came with being barely aware, even as I started to understand what was happening. "What do you want?"

            Silence followed, then an impatient sigh.

            "What do you think?" he demanded.

            A soft, pained groan rumbled in my throat, and the fear rose a notch.

            "Serves you right, you fuckin' moron," Mike growled, and I jerked, looking at him in alarm. But he wasn't moving. He just sat there, glaring off to the side. "If you'd have just coughed up the cash, you wouldn't be here."

            "I don't have it," I mumbled, shifting uncomfortably. I was on my side, and one of my arms was nearly completely numb. My legs were slow to react, and I wondered how long I had been out.

            "Tough shit," Mike grunted, glancing at me then. "What do you think you're doing?"

            "I need to use a bathroom," I replied. I didn't, but it never hurt to feel for my options.

            "Hold it," Mike snorted, not bothering to hide his grin.

            I glared at him, less worried since he had not bothered me yet. As long as he stayed where he was, I was fine just being angry at him, at those men for knocking me out, at Enishi for organizing the whole thing. He had probably been waiting for the opportunity when I left the house like that. Seemed like a lot of effort to go through just to push me around. I said as much, and Mike smirked at me.

            "You'd think so," he replied. "I suppose you want to know why."

            "...Yeah," I said quietly, even though I really did not care for the reason. It was better to have Mike talking than to sit in wary silence. If he kept talking about something else, maybe he would just keep sitting in that chair rather than going anywhere else--rather than coming any closer to me.

            "You know, since you left, Enishi's been keeping a low profile," Mike folded his hands behind his head, stretching his legs out, shoes resting on my bed. I stared at his large, scuffed Doc Martens for a few seconds, almost missing what he next said. "Police have been sniffing around, you know. Business suffers. He's losing a shitload of money."

            It was beginning to feel like an old mystery novel. Then, would come the time when Enishi would come in, make his confrontation, and somehow, someone else would hear, and the police would come busting in, guns waving, shouting his rights at him. He would break down, admit all his crimes, and we would all live happily ever after.

            Yeah. Right.

            What worried me was the way the real world tended to put a nasty twist on the story. Say... a news report about a kidnapping--or those students who disappeared my sophomore year in college. The kidnappers were never found, and if they were found, how much comfort did that provide to the families of those kids whose bodies were dredged out of the Mississippi?

            _Oh god... I'm going to be a statistic._

            I shut my eyes and listened to Mike talk. He didn't seem to care if I was paying attention or not.

            "We're all a little worried, you know," Mike said. "It's really only a matter of time. He's gonna be caught."

            I doubted that. Enishi was not stupid, and he had evaded the authorities for years... upwards of a decade. If he could outsmart the cops at fifteen, why couldn't he do it at twenty-three?

            "If he goes down, who's to say he won't take everyone he knows down with him?" Mike continued, his fingers making an irritating tapping noise against my bedside table. "I don't particularly want to go to jail, you know."

            "Call in your favors..." I heard myself whispering. Stupid, stupid! I bit my lip, wishing I had kept my mouth shut, and for good reason.

            "Like you deserve any better, you little shit!" Mike snapped, and I flinched, my breath catching in my throat as I felt the bed shift with his sudden movement. I didn't know what he was doing, and frankly, I did not have the guts to open my eyes and find out.

            "Better jail than here with you," I hissed, tugging lightly against the rope that kept my arms up by my face. It was not a loose knot.

            "Look at you," Mike said with an amused huff of air. "Like a little kid, scared of the boogie man."

            I did finally open my eyes then, glaring at the man with all the hatred I could manage. I did hate him. And I hoped he got caught along with Enishi and thrown into the filthiest, most ruthless jail cell. He'd be ripped apart, and I would not be sorry in the least.

            All the hatred in the world was not enough to make that come to pass, however, and I could not suppress the sudden flood of terror that swept through me when he kicked up his legs and flopped down on the bed next to me. He was grinning, and all I could think of was getting away from him.

            "What's wrong, Red?" he snickered. "Uncomfortable?"

            It was like every nightmare come true. I shoved back against the bed, heel slamming into his thigh, until my body hit the edge of the single bed, and down I went. The bad thing about that was that I was still caught up by the headboard, my arms screaming in protest from the fall. Not only that, but Mike decided he didn't like getting kicked, and he grabbed my ankle, leaving me to flop rather ungracefully over the side.

            "Let go!" I snarled, jerking against the grip, wrists already sore from pulling against the ropes. The pain was secondary. First matter of importance was getting away from _him_. Then, I would think about what hurt.

            "Suit yourself."

            He released my ankle, and I gasped as I hit the floor. Arms bent awkwardly over the corner of the mattress, my weight balanced oddly between them and the floor, it hurt like hell. I had to force my legs to hold my weight, and suddenly I was standing, hunched slightly over the bed. I planted my feet in the carpet and pulled back, hoping beyond hope that someone would smile down on me, and the ropes would give. It was a good day for the world to be frowning, apparently.

            Mike was laughing, saying something else, but I couldn't hear him. Panic set in, and I was jumping away, twisting, slipping on the carpet and falling again. He was getting closer, and I didn't know what he was going to do, and I sure as hell didn't want to find out. Yanking and scrambling away, cringing back when I could feel his breath on my face, I distantly heard myself telling him to stay away, back, not to touch me.

            Something else banged over the sound of his laughter and my own pleas, and I gasped as he hit me. Shocked, I could only stare as blood splattered over the front of my shirt and in my face. I couldn't move.

            Blood... everywhere. On him, on me, the carpet, my bed... most of it was on my bed. He wasn't moving. He was... Mike wasn't... not moving. Blood coming from a hole in his forehead. His eyes were open, but... but he was not... he was...

            Dimly, I saw Enishi, impassive as he lowered the smoking weapon. He glanced to the side--Kevin--and then back to the man... thing... Mike. To Mike... no... the body. It. The body on my bed. Blood from its forehead. Blood and... god, and something else...

            The world spun around me, the room suddenly too hot, and my legs folded beneath me. Someone said something, but I missed it for my coughing. Something grabbed the hair at my nape. I couldn't fight it because I threw up right then.

            "Don't you pass out on us again, Himura," Kevin's smooth voice warned, that hand on my neck shaking me with his words. I coughed, closing my eyes against the sight of the waste bin in my face.

            "Here," Enishi spoke, and something small and light hit the side of my head. Kevin pushed the waste bin away and picked it up--it was a cloth of some sort--and shoved it into my face. I did not have it in me to resist it, and thus I suffered the humiliation of having the bastard wipe my face. "What a waste. Well, throw it away."

            I shuddered, the heat fading slowly to be replaced by a deep chill.

            "Y-you... you j-j-j--you just..." I couldn't form a complete thought. Gasping for air, cowering away from the arm that hung loosely over the side of the bed, I couldn't think beyond the dead man in the room. The dead man on my bed.

            "You know what they say about finding good help," Enishi said callously. "Perk up, kid. Doesn't it make you feel a bit better?"

            He walked around the bed, which was good, because I couldn't look at him over it. Not without seeing the dead man... and the blood, and the gore, and... I felt the sickening wave of heat again, and I swallowed, closing my eyes in hopes that I would not vomit again.

            "Please..." I whispered hoarsely. "Stop..."

            "Stop?" Enishi echoed incredulously. "I'm doing this for _you_, kid. You can't tell me you did not want to see this guy dead."

            "God..." I groaned. I had the awful feeling I was going to get sick again.

            "You want to know the real kick in the ass, kid?" Enishi wouldn't stop talking. More than anything, I needed him to stop talking. "I only met Jensen a year ago."

            I barely heard him. There was a body in my room, on my bed, and I couldn't focus. It was a mess of frantic chanting, and I might have even said it a few times.

            _This is not happening to me. This is not happening to me. This is not happening..._

            "He used to live in Reno... until last year," Enishi went on. "And you know... I saw him and he just reminded me so much of that guy... what was his name again? Oh, it doesn't even matter anymore. He's dead too. It happens sometimes."

            _...not happening... He didn't just shoot... He didn't just say..._

            "What?" It was little better than a strained whisper.

            "'It happens sometimes,' I said," Enishi repeated.

            "No," I cut off his words, lifting my gaze, unfocussed though it was, to stare at him in shock. His smile... no, there was no smile. Just Enishi, a blur of features, but he wasn't smiling. "Jensen... Mike. You... he wasn't--"

            "The guy who tried to screw your brains out?" Enishi offered. "Nah. Guys like that generally don't live very long. He's gone. Been dead for years."

            Couldn't... I couldn't think. And all that...

            _Just said he wanted to apologize and explain a few things about Wednesday..._

            A call...

            _Seems like a thing we need to discuss in private--_

            An attempt...

            _You're a fucking idiot, Red! You deserve what you get!_

            Oh god. And he'd tried... tried to tell me... but I--

            "But Jensen looked so much like him, reminded me of him, you know?" Enishi said carelessly. "Well, I guess they were more alike than I first thought. Neither lasted very long."

            I could have stopped it. If I would have listened to him... not been such a selfish coward... I could have--I could have stopped it. But I didn't. And he was...

            "Don't look so upset, kid," Enishi murmured. He was moving, sitting, leaning back against the wall next to me. Blocked in. He closed up the walls, sitting next to me, a wall to my back, someone... Kevin? Kevin in front of me, the bed... the thing on the bed next to me. My arms were still folded up, hands next to it.

            Groaning, nauseated, I pulled on the ropes, ropes digging into my wrists when I tried to twist out of them. There was a way... a way to get free of them... but I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it and not pass out.

            "I'm doing this all for you, kid," Enishi said. An arm over my shoulders, shifting when that proved to be awkward, behind my back and around my waist. I shuddered. "One last thing, you know. Loose ends. Going traveling after this. Don't suppose you'd like to come with?"

            Once started, I couldn't stop shaking.

            "Stop..." I gasped.

            "Wrap it up, Enishi," Kevin's voice cut in, icy and flat. "Neighborhood like this, people are bound to jump at the gunshots."

            Why was he even here? What did he have to do with any of this?

            "It'd be like old times, kid," Enishi's breath was hot in my ear, and I flinched away.

            _Not happening... This is not happening to me..._

            "Enishi..." I could hardly breathe, the words strained and soft.

            "Old times..."

            "Go..." I coughed, squeezing my eyes shut and pressing my forehead against my forearms. "Fuck yourself."

            He stiffened, cutting off my breath as his arm suddenly squeezed my chest. Slowly, he relaxed again, letting me breathe, even chuckling a bit.

            "Very well..." he murmured, and I tensed at the sensation of something cool and hard shoving into the underside of my jaw. Moaning in protest, I looked at him, a hair's breadth away from fainting. It didn't matter. He was going to kill me.

            "You're done, Enishi," Kevin talking. I couldn't focus on him. I couldn't breathe, my vision wavering, fading in and out. The gun was shoved so far into my throat it hurt. My back was already shoved into the wall, feet digging into the carpet as I tried to push back further.

            "It's your own fault," Enishi reminded me. "Just say the word, kid, and this'll all be over."

            Talking was impossible. When I opened my mouth, all that came out was a breathy sob. And one, fleeting thought...

            _I don't want to die..._

            The shot was deafening, the following shot a muted cough in comparison. I barely felt it, a strange feeling of numbed finality sweeping over me. Enishi looked down, his face a missive of confusion and odd relief. He coughed, my vision going red as he fell against me.

            "Finally," he whispered, and then nothing.

^_^

            Aunt Tokio's house was always immaculate. Shoes, lined up perfectly by the front door, hardwood floors gleaming a yellowy brown. The air smelled of lemon-scented cleaner.

            She was the same, dressed in dark green pants and a cream, short-sleeved blouse under a matching, fitted green vest that buttoned up the front. Her dark hair was pulled up into a shining twist, held in place by a large-toothed comb that she showed me once. Thin gold hoops decorated her ears, and they glinted when she turned her head to smile at us. They swung under her ears again when she bent down to greet us.

            "Hello Tomoe, Kenshin. Looking forward to going to Valley Fair?"

            I glanced at Tommie, saw her smile and nod.

            "We can't wait, Aunt Tokio," she said lightly. "Are you coming with us?"

            "After I change my clothes, we'll go," Aunt Tokio nodded. "Remember that we're taking along your new cousin."

            "Uncle Hiko said something about it," Tommie said. "Is he here?"

            "He's in the next room," Aunt Tokio told her. "Why don't you two go meet him. He's anxious to meet you as well."

            I grinned and shifted impatiently, waiting for Tommie. When she went, it was okay. Before that, and I got in trouble for being rude.

            "Come on, Kenshin," Tommie suggested, and I bolted ahead of her, slowing when I got to the end of the hall and had to turn the corner.

            He was playing Nintendo, a little two-dimensional Mario running and hopping over mushroom-like baddies. I hit the back of the couch, leaning over it slightly to look at him. His hair was dark brown, almost black--kind of like Tommie's--and he was bigger... though it was hard to tell when he was sitting with his slouched back to me.

            "Hi!" I greeted, a little nervous to meet him. We'd been hearing about him for weeks, and finally we got to see him.

            He didn't even look at me. He just kept tapping away at the control in his hand, a big Mario hopping over brick barriers.

            "Can I play?" I tried again. Uncle Hiko said it was rude to ask normally, but he was already playing it, so I asked anyway. Besides, Uncle Hiko was probably already gone.

            Brown eyes looked at me carelessly, and he shrugged.

            "Sure," he agreed. "You be Luigi."

            "Cool," I grinned again and hurried around the couch to sit on the floor next to him.

            "Dang," he muttered, and I glanced up when I heard the bold music of Mario dying. The squished little character went up, then dropped down out of view. "Well... let's start a new game. I just hit a save point."

            "I'm Kenshin," I said quickly, twisting to point at Tommie, who had just come up behind us. "That's my sister Tomoe."

            "Enishi," he offered a little smirk. "You my new cousins?"

            "Yep," I picked up a control and smiled at him. He was older than me, I could tell. He didn't look as old as Tommie, though, and she was sixteen. Curiosity got the better of me. "How old are you?"

            "Thirteen," he said carelessly. "What are you? Eight?"

            "Ten!" I scowled at him. "I'll be eleven in two weeks!"

            "Sorry," he laughed, and I glared at him, irritated and thinking he was making fun of me. "You're so little."

            "It's not my fault I'm short," I grumbled. "And you're not so big. Tommie is taller, I bet."

            "She's older," he reminded me.

            "So! Everyone ready to go?" Aunt Tokio came in then, and we looked up at her. She frowned. "Enishi! I told you to shut that off. We've got company."

            "Sorry," Enishi pulled the game from the slot and shoved the control into the cupboard. Sighing in disappointment, I did the same, pulling my hand back in time to avoid getting my fingers caught in the door when he closed it. "Hey, Kenshin. Race you to the car."

            I grinned and tore off after him as he shot to his feet and ran toward the garage door. Behind us, Aunt Tokio called out an annoyed, "No running in the house!" and I slowed, sheepish for breaking that rule. Enishi was already out the door, ignoring Aunt Tokio's warning. I heard her sigh, and I wondered why she didn't yell at him for that.

            "Let's go, kids."

            Slinking back behind Tommie, I followed them to the car.

^_^

            Utter stillness.

            The silent, pulsing echo of gunshots fired.

            Death.

            It passed like a dream. Objects and people moved in slow motion, colors blurring together, sound warping into rounded, resonant syllables.

            Kevin. Muttering, moving, crouching near me. Talking. To me, maybe. I couldn't hear him. Nothing. I felt nothing. I watched in fascinated silence as he bundled up something and pressed it to my shoulder. It seemed it should have hurt, but there was nothing.

            _Am I dead?_

            Suddenly, it was not as scary as it seemed minutes ago. Certainly, it was better than being in this room of the dead.

            Enishi...

            I looked at him. He was finally smiling. The whole time, he didn't smile, but with blood down his chin, more on his chest, eyes closed as if in sleep, he was smiling. Was he so unhappy? For someone who got his kicks from making other people miserable, how was it he was so happy to go?

            When I looked back, Kevin was gone. It was just me. Me and the bloody bodies. Just the three of us. If any of us were even alive...

            The world was rocking again, distorted, swimming as I felt myself floating away from it all.

            Then, Kevin came back. I stared at him, wondering why... why would he do this? Why would he help Enishi... only to kill him in the end? Why...?

            His mouth was moving again, right in front of me, telling me something... important, possibly. My chest was starting to hurt, burning as I struggled to breathe. Kevin's hand was in my face, fingers snapping, the sound painfully loud. I gasped and startled back.

            "Kid?" Brief, sharp yanking of the hair in front of my eyes. I shied away from it, staring dully at him. "Kid, you listening? Come on, you're not dead yet."

            _Yet..._

            The best I could offer was a nauseated groan. Nothing made sense. I couldn't think when I was pressed against the bed where Mike's body was, the other body brushing my side. What did he want from me? What did I ever do to him?

            "Enishi was wrong about one thing, kid," Kevin said, smirking, glancing over his shoulder in wary display, back to me again. "The guy _you_ knew isn't dead yet. Probably will be soon, but not yet."

            My head hit the wall when he bent toward me. I heard it rather than felt it. But I felt the lips brushing against mine. I couldn't stop... A violent shudder rushed through me, and I sobbed. What hell was this?

            "I guess everyone does stupid things now and then," Kevin snorted. "Don't bet on seeing me again, kid. You just get me into trouble."

            Coughing, trying to contain the queasiness, I shrank back further. The room faded away...

^_^

            Drifting...

            Silence...

            Waiting...

            Darkness and light blurred together. Pale, pale blond hair that fuzzed and went blank.

^_^

            Bloody ropes. Stained carpet. Blackness.

^_^

            Noise. A shout. Watery gray.

^_^

            Cursing. The clatter of a phone not quite reaching the cradle. Ringing, blocking out everything else.

^_^

            Words. My arms were moving. I wasn't doing that.

            "Open your eyes, Kenshin." A familiar voice. Something pressed into my neck, the soft underside of my jaw. "Come on, kid. Say something."

            My eyes did not want to open. Was it real? What if I opened my eyes and Enishi stared back at me? Mike, with his unseeing, gaping eyes. What if it wasn't done? Kevin... maybe he was still there... If I didn't say something, would Uncle Hiko leave? Would he leave me for dead with the others?

            It was too much to endure.

            _Don't leave me here!_

            Shaking, crying, I forced my eyes open to look at him. He stared at me, shock etched in his solid features. Never had I been so happy to see him. I lunged forward, grabbing for anything, my only intention one of desperate origins.

            _Don't leave me alone!_

            His arms closed around me, huge and nearly suffocating, but I didn't care. Choking, coughing, sobbing, I clung to him. I said something, but the words were just tumbling from me, meaningless and jumbled. Then... it disappeared again.

^_^

**Notes**: Rather surreal moments, I realize. For those who had a difficult time catching it, the breaks in time (the little ^_^'s) were Kenshin drifting in and out of consciousness. This may make him seem a bit weak (wimpy) but the loss of consciousness was not entirely a psychological defense on his part. This will make more sense in the next chapter.

Next chapter: Aftermath. Obviously Kenshin is going to be a little upset by the recent turn of events. However, he is not the only one affected. Consider his friends and family.

**Random Omake**: Ha! You didn't think I could do it with this chapter, did you? Granted, it's not all that appropriate…

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* I lunged forward, grabbing for anything--

**Hiko**: *Pales* ...!!! _WATCH WHAT YOU'RE GRABBING!!_

**Kenshin**: *mortified blush* Eep! *takes off running*

**Hiko**: _I'll get you for that, you little brat!_

**Fitz**: o.O Er... wow.

Reviewers!

**omochi**: Valid point. Ever been on the receiving end of such little faith? It sucks.

**marstanuki**: I agree that I've made him selfish, but how many guys do you know who share their feelings?

**futagoakuma-tenshi01**: You can't say I did not warn you about the content of the last chapter.

**haku baikou**: Ever considered candles or incense to help you meditate? Very relaxing if you get the right scent.

**Neko Oni**: Kids are cruel, this is true. And do you still think Kenshin's not a wimp?

**Calger459**: I guess you could say the cops never get Enishi…

**Fuuko-san**: Thank you. It really makes me happy to see that kind of response. *response to Moments…* Those chapters are not always going to be overly exciting. They're not meant to be. As for K&K… well, I can't tell you that. To quote an old threat, if I told you, I'd have to kill you. (not really, but it's fun to say, no?)

**Akai Kitsune**: Since you mentioned it, I guess I could just _say_ that yes, I was thinking Battousai when I wrote that little apathetic part. Honestly, it never crossed my mind.

**mvdiva**: I see it now. Kenshin will no longer be appearing in Rurouni Kenshin. He has joined the Russian opera.

**Ms. Videl Son**: The situation with whom? *innocent blink*

**C-Chan**: Ah, then you did not pay much attention to my notes at the end of the previous chapter. Glad you liked it anyway.

**SVZ**: *whispers* Math teacher. My, are you violent when it comes to thoughts about your teachers. And you need not worry about me continuing. I'm going to finish this.

**NightRain**: *am reminded of _The Beach_* Messed up movie. Thank you for that insight on marijuana. I really don't know that much about it, thus the ambiguity throughout the story.

**TenkunoMeiou**: 'kay.

**tesuka- chan**: Correct. Kenshin never was raped. And I hope I didn't disappoint you with the final confrontation between the two.

**Imbrium Iridum**: *snicker* Nice Omake. Not exactly a battle here, but it was inappropriate to do so with the world I've created here.

**Chiki**: I wouldn't worry about your grammar. It's better than most native speakers'.

**nekonomiko**: Kenshin has taken hand-to-hand combat, and I fully expect he'll want to take more. Unfortunately, being a successful fighter in competitions and being successful in the face of real danger do not always go hand in hand.

**Gundam Girl**: Are you saying my changing of the characters is weird? *snicker* And sorry if I disappoint you on the K/K thing, but lemons are not my style, nor is steamy romance. I'm trying not to gag on some of the sappy moments I create. Be patient with me.

**E-san**: Goodness, the sarcasm… I just had to comment on that 'bated' thing because it's got to be one of the most commonly misspelled phrases I see. And 'Life Happened' is on hold indefinitely. Sorry.****


	34. Hazy perceptions

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything, anywhere, anytime. Ever.

**Notes**: I have so much to write and not enough time. Please be patient. The next chapter may be some time in coming.

**Warnings**: Mild shounen ai, mentions of suicide, depression, and possible (probable) medical mistakes that I intend to look into.

Onward!!

My Life

            It was all a mess of colors and sounds. A glimpse of a bright light, mutterings of strange people, the wail of a siren, and finally, the steady blip of a heart monitor.

            For a long time, I stared at the spiking green line, my mind wonderfully blank. I had just had a rather odd dream. It was not good or bad... just there. Even as I stared at the jumping line, hearing its bland beeping, memory of the dream dimmed, and it was forgotten.

            "You're awake."

            I did not look at her. It was not anyone I knew, which made me wonder. Where was Uncle Hiko? Why wasn't he in the room? I was pretty sure he had been the one who got me out of that room. Unless it had been some delusional, desperate hope, in which case I probably made a fool of myself on some poor police officer.

            "How are you feeling, Kenshin?"

            How was I feeling? I was not feeling much of anything at that particular moment, actually. Faint resentment at waking up to find myself alone in a hospital room. Everything else I pushed to the back to think about later.

            "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

            A little thirsty. Okay... very thirsty, but I did not want to speak just yet. Certainly not with some strange woman. I closed my eyes.

            "Well... I suppose you're tired. I'll call the doctor in. Hold tight, Kenshin. I won't be gone long."

            Made a person wonder if she expected me to go into hysterics the second she left the room. As if I cared whether or not a stranger stayed with me.

            Exhaustion took hold, and I sighed. I was asleep before the nurse returned with the doctor.

^_^

            I dreamed again. I dreamt I was a cat. I recognized people around me--Sano, Uncle Hiko, Kaoru, Mr. Sagara--and some I didn't recognize. They were all talking, but I couldn't understand them. I got bored with it all and hopped onto a lap. Someone's lap, I didn't care. They stroked my fur, and I was happy. I could live with being a cat.

            When I woke, it was because I felt someone brushing their hand over my hair. I hoped it wasn't that nurse again. For once, fate smiled on me, and when I opened my eyes, my blurry gaze found familiar black hair and blue eyes. Sighing in relief, I closed my eyes again and relaxed back against the pillow.

            "Hey, Kenshin," she murmured, words sounding a little odd... muddled. Like she was talking through something. I felt her hand squeezing mine. I had not even noticed she was holding my hand. "I'm glad you're awake."

            Barely. I was drifting.

            "A lot has happened in the past few days," she continued when I said nothing. "Thanksgiving was kind of forgotten in the mix of things. Most of us were here, waiting for word on your condition. It's scary when someone you know is in surgery, but I guess they said it didn't take long."

            Surgery? That meant Enishi really did shoot me. Or Kevin. Maybe Kevin shot me.

            "Your cousin's funeral was today," Kaoru murmured. "That's where your uncle is now. Your aunt sent you flowers, but I doubt she'll want to see you anytime soon."

            My breath hitched at that one. Swallowing with some difficulty, I opened my eyes to stare at the curtain that divided the room. Aunt Tokio didn't want to see me?

            "She's probably a little resentful that you never turned Enishi in," Kaoru explained, as if reading my thoughts. "Chou's roommate was arrested, too. They caught him trying to board a flight to Mexico. I guess he hasn't admitted anything yet, but he had a previous criminal record, and with his fingerprints all over your room, there's not much he can do."

            Kevin... I wondered who he was.

            "Sanosuke went home for the night," she went on, not bothered that I was not talking. "Took his dad home and went back to the dorm. Classes start up again the day after tomorrow, and he said he wanted to spend some time with Megumi. She's been really good about all this. Very supportive. Sanosuke was upset."

            Kaoru's voice was trailing off in monotone. It was difficult to focus on her words.

            "Doctors have been worried," she said. "But they're hopeful your silence is a result of shock that will fade with time. Your uncle thinks you're just being stubborn. I suspect it's a little of each."

            The curtain shifted slightly as someone moved on the other side. I closed my eyes, trying to ignore that and pay attention to Kaoru. She seemed to have more to say, and she was right. I didn't want to talk yet.

            "If everything goes well, you won't miss much more school," she told me. "You missed last Wednesday, but half the school skipped that, so it's not such a big deal. If you're released soon, maybe you can make it by Monday or Tuesday." She sighed then, a rueful sound. "We're moving your stuff into Chou's room."

            What? That was not something I expected.

            "The dorm is right near where most of your classes are," she continued. "The University will probably throw out all sorts of roadblocks, but your uncle is going to push it through. It's really better this way, too. I know there'll be a little less freedom, not to mention Chou won't take any crap like the girls will. And my mom and your uncle are taking care of your share of the apartment bill until we can find a fourth roommate again."

            They were kicking me out?

            "And... I know you're not going to like hearing this, but..." she sighed again. "But I want to start over. You and me, I mean.... We've gotten a little loose... maybe a little too comfortable over the past few months, living together as we were."

            Oh god.

            "I'm not saying we'll see other people..."

            She was dumping me.

            "But I think we should take things a little differently," she concluded. "Okay?"

            I finally did it. I finally shoved her away. She told me while holding my hand and rearranging my bangs.

            "I've got to go, Kenshin," she said after awhile. "Call me when you get out of here, okay? We'll talk."

            She released my hand, pulled back, and walked away. Opening my eyes again, I turned my head to watch her leave. She paused outside the door, by the windows, and glanced in. I could not believe she was just going to walk out. Just like that, she was through with me.

            Kaoru shook her head, and it looked like she said something, but I could not hear her from that distance. Looking away, she continued walking, disappearing out of sight.

^_^

            The rest of my stay in the hospital was a blur of doctors, nurses, and visions of Uncle Hiko standing over me, his disapproving scowl set firmly in place. He never did lecture me on the importance of being honest. Not that it was necessary. Thank you, but I was pretty sure I had learned my lesson through the ever-effective hands-on experience method.

            So ended my second visit to the hospital in a month. The last time had been better. In and out in four hours was nicer than staying for nearly six days. They let me out on Tuesday, although I was informed I would be undergoing plenty of physical therapy once my shattered clavicle healed enough for me to safely use my left arm again. That meant I had another month in a sling.

            Apparently, the bullet intended for my brain hit my collarbone instead. They said I was lucky to be alive with the blood loss and the shock to my system. A miracle, they also noted, that I was conscious at all afterwards. If it was my choice... no. No one wanted to hear my choice. _I_ don't want to know what I would have chosen, had conscious thought had any say in the matter.

            By the time it was time to leave, I had graduated from refusing to acknowledge the existence of others to responding to them with one or two word phrases. It was just so difficult to concentrate. Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was Mike's vacant stare and the gory display of his body collapsed on my bed. When I was alone, or the people in the room were not speaking to me, I thought about Enishi and Kevin. More than that, I thought about Kaoru and how she had walked out on me. It made for long, hellish days and nights that I dreaded. With the medication they had me on, I did not dream much, but the time spent falling asleep was unpleasant.

            Uncle Hiko had never been an overly talkative man. He spoke when it was appropriate--in social situations and such--but otherwise he rarely said anything beyond the necessary (unless he was yelling at me, of course, in which case he could go on for quite some time). It was odd to hear him continually speaking as he took me back to school. It was like he was trying to fill the silence where it had never bothered him before.

            On the way to the dorm, he explained everything to me. My stuff was mostly unpacked, computer set up, et cetera, et cetera, in Chou's room. Normally, I would have been annoyed by the thought of others poking through my belongings, but it was not worth the effort at that point. I had an appointment set up in Disability Services, and I was to provide both doctor's and psychiatrist's letters to them. Yes, I had seen a psychiatrist, for all the good that did me. There was just something about those head shrinks that bugged me, and I was not about to tell some stranger my life story with the hopes he could tell me what was wrong with me.

            "Are you listening to me?" Uncle Hiko asked at one point as he eased his car into a spot by a parking meter.

            "Yeah."

            Then he was talking about my doctor's appointment next week, warning me not to take anything more than what was written specifically on the prescription bottles, as if I did not know the dangers in that.

            Finally, we were in the building, walking up to the second floor and into my new room. Chou must have been waiting because he looked up from his book, hesitated, then grinned full force, and he swung his legs off the bed and stood to greet me.

^_^

            Life became this haze of classes, homework, sleeping and eating. Sleeping and eating were not common, actually, and both were forced. Again, I lost weight, for which the doctors then scolded me and put me on a strict diet which, incidentally, included a healthy dose of antidepressants.

            I never did call Kaoru. Several times I came close. I picked up the phone, going so far as to dial the number, but I hung up before anyone answered. What was I supposed to say? "Hi, Kaoru. Remember me? Your screwed-up loser of an ex-boyfriend?"

            Katsu lived in that dorm, and I found myself with him more than I ever would have predicted. He offered to take me with him a few times when he went someplace to draw, shoot photos, or just sit and do homework. It seemed better than sitting in my room, so I accepted. More than once, he asked if he could take my picture, and once I said he could. He then turned it around and said he would only do it if I promised to let him do another photo session at some point in the future. I really did not care, and so I spent an afternoon with him following me around campus, camera clicking away. The sneaky bastard kept trying to engage in conversation. It was distracting, and I was certain took more than a few pictures of me with my mouth wide open, responding to his questions. It was nice, though, to have some company.

            Sano came around sometimes. It was awkward for both of us. I did not know how to act around him, and he seemed to be the same. He was moody and gruff, treating me like some breakable object, offering to do everything for me. One could only take so much of a guy holding open doors, pulling out chairs, carrying books and lunch trays, and acting concerned no matter what I did. It was like a junior high school boy with his girlfriend. I might have said something, but with how rough everything had been between me and everyone lately, it seemed a little risky. I bit my tongue and tried not to get too annoyed.

            Work was a challenge. I dropped back to an on-call status which was how it was to remain until my arm healed. Because I needed the money, I still showed up on weekends to do any microfiche and microfilm orders. Kari was glad when I did, admitting she hated working alone. Five hours was a long time to sit by herself, I had to agree. And I liked listening to her meaningless small talk.

            So the days dragged on, then weeks, and suddenly it was time for finals. The stress level of the students in the dorm was high, everyone worried about exams and looking forward to winter break. It did not matter to me. I had no place to stay, really. Aunt Tokio's was the logical choice usually, but I had yet to patch things up with her. The only way I would ever step foot in my room at Uncle Hiko's again was if someone somehow forced me. It was blocked off anyway--cleaned, but locked up. No one wanted to face it.

^_^

            My dilemma was solved for me the Saturday night just before finals week. I sat with Chou, outside while he smoked. He offered me a cigarette, and I accepted, although I probably should not have, what with all the drugs the doctors already had me taking.

            The smoke choked me for a minute, my lungs unused to it, but I held back the urge to cough and cautiously exhaled. The smoke was an icy white, creating a haze before the clear blue-black sky. All day it had been cloudless, and we suffered for it, the temperature plummeting to below freezing. Winter was soon in coming.

            "You got plans for break?" Chou wondered, sitting on the metal bike rack. I was leaning against the wall across from him, tempted to sit despite the lack of bench.

            "Not yet," I sighed, watching the smoke waft away again. "Trying to decide how to avoid my uncle's house."

            "Well, me and a bunch of other guys are heading to Colorado for some quality skiing," he told me. "Kamatari's flying over from genius world too. You want to come?"

            I glanced at him, not quite believing he was serious. He grinned and poked his cigarette down into the ash tray by the door.

            "Kamatari'd love it," he commented. "Careful, though. He thinks he's got a chance since you've cut ties with Kaoru."

            "That's not for sure yet," I countered immediately, wincing because of his words and the fact that I knew my own words to be mostly false. Kaoru was through with me... at least, until I got my act straight. Even then, who knew? Maybe she'd have the perfect boyfriend by that point. She could get herself a guy who told her everything, who complimented her looks, and one who did not wake whoever else was in the room more than once a week with nightmares.

            Chou looked at me, then shrugged. It was an argument neither of us would win, and it was just as well that we let it drop.

            "Well, you're invited in any case," he offered again. "What do you say?"

            It sounded like I would go along for the ride, then spend all of my time indoors because I was working with one arm and a fear of winter. Anything was better than hashing it out with Uncle Hiko.

            "Sure."

            Chou smirked and pulled my cigarette butt from my fingers, grinding it down into the sand. I had forgotten about it entirely, my numb fingers not really feeling it.

            "It's colder than Hades out here," he said. "Let's go."

^_^

            Uncle Hiko declared the trip to be a good idea. The doctors were a bit more cautious, throwing warning after warning at me, telling me that only a fool would attempt to ski with healing bones. I did not intend to do any skiing, so I told them they did not have to worry about that. After all, barely a month after being shot in the shoulder, I was not prepared to be doing any overly strenuous activities.

            The drive to Colorado was not a short one, and it was done over two days. It was just as well. I stuck my nose in a book and spent most of the time doing homework. Except for one English course, I had taken all incompletes that semester, under strict orders to have the work finished before the end of January. I got a C in that English class because the professor was an ass who did not care that I had nearly been killed over Thanksgiving break.

            "You're not dead or in a coma. You can show up to class and do the work." Those were his exact words. It took every shred of willpower I possessed not to tell him to take his class and shove it. I needed the credits toward my major.

            Chou drove most of the way, though he let Anji drive when he got tired. Anji, who I learned was one of Chou's buddies from way back, was a decent enough guy. He was bigger than Uncle Hiko--which was impressive to say the least--and quiet. He took shotgun for the most part, leaving me in the back seat with whatever luggage that did not fit in the trunk. I did not care. I just shoved it around and used the softer bags and jackets as a cushion while I studied or dozed.

            We got into Vail late on the twenty-third, struggling into the condo (which Chou's family owned) sometime close to midnight. Anji and Chou carried most of the bags, while I took up the rear with the food. That took several trips, and I had a healthy respect for the handles on those brown paper bags by the time I was done.

            No one wanted to do much of anything by that point, so we threw the perishable food in the refrigerator and crashed for the night. So exhausted were we that none of us cared to pull out the hide-a-bed, and I slept on the couch instead. It was a slow start to what promised to be a slow, leisurely vacation.

^_^

            Kamatari arrived early the following morning with his bags in his arms and a pine tree strapped to the roof of his sedan. Chou and Anji were still in their pajamas, and I was in my clothes from the previous day. Even so, no one really cared as Kamatari told me to clear a space for the tree while he and the others got it off the car, up the stairs, and into the place.

            I was working on moving the heavy arm chair when they came back inside, pine needles raining around them. Remembering the tree stand, I snatched it off the counter and stuck it in the corner, where there still was not enough space for the tree because I could not move that chair alone.

            "Get the chair, Anji!" Chou grunted, yelping slightly in complaint when one of the branches jabbed him in the neck. I could hear him cursing as Anji let the trunk fall to the floor.

            "Whose idea was it to get the injured guy to move an object bigger than him?" Anji replied, grabbing the arms of the chair and hauling it back. I sighed at how easy he made that look.

            "Out of the way, sweetheart!" Kamatari suggested, giving me just enough time to leap to the side as the tree came barging into my space. I scrambled over the displaced coffee table and nearly fell on the couch before righting myself and standing to watch them manhandle the tree around.

            It must have been around seven feet tall, the branches filling the space around it when let down from their ropes. There was a bare spot on one side which they turned to face the corner, and then we spent another ten minutes trying to get the thing straight. That is, Chou was on his belly on the floor, his legs the only things we could see from under the pine branches, while Anji and Kamatari pushed the tree back and forth, and I told them 'to the left' or 'a little further right' until we got it how we wanted it. Then, of course, we had forgotten to get the other perspective, so Chou had to climb back under the tree to adjust it so it was not leaning back against the wall. He was not happy about that, and his hair was riddled with short pine needles by the time we were done.

            "All right!" Kamatari clapped his hands together when the tree was up. "You three can all get ready now. I'll unpack and get the decorations out."

            I stared at him for a minute, wondering at him in his red and green sweater and jeans. His hair was tugged back into a hasty ponytail, his face scrubbed clean, and he seemed perfectly content like this. It was far different from the young man I had last seen in September. God, had it only been three and a half months?

            "Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart," Kamatari caught me staring and promptly misinterpreted it. "Did you need some help?"

            My face warmed, and I shook my head, hurriedly turning to retrieve my bags. After nearly six weeks of using a sling, I had it down to an art. I found my stuff and dragged it off to the bathroom.

^_^

            We spent the afternoon decorating the condo for Christmas. Actually, I spent most of that time cleaning up. This included running the dishes through the dishwasher since most of them were dusty and greasy from not having been used in months. I went through the cupboards, putting away the food we had recently purchased and sorting through what was already there. I threw out boxes of stale cereal, crackers as well as one bottle of milk that was _way_ past its expiration. Chou protested that, to which I responded by pouring him a glass of that lumpy milk and suggesting he drink it. Looking a little green, he suggested that I dump it--just this once.

            Once the kitchen was in order, I started lunch and produced a meal worthy of a ten-year-old. That is, I made grilled cheese sandwiches, a can of vegetable soup and a can of tomato soup. The other guys took a break from the strenuous task of putting tinsel on the tree and made short work of the food.

            I was impressed, really. They actually took the time to reorganize the furniture in the living space, going so far as to pull the hide-a-bed from the couch and put sheets on it, before breaking out with the decorations. I suspected Kamatari's presence affected that. No way would Chou have bothered otherwise.

            Cleaning up after lunch took a little time, and of course no one else offered to help. They returned to the boxes of Christmas decorations and decided to string multicolored lights around the room. That would be interesting.

^_^

            Chou, Anji, and Kamatari went skiing that afternoon. They invited me along, but I knew I would just end up spending the day wasting my ticket staying inside with a bunch of strangers, most of whom would ignore me. Better to save my money and be alone in a fairly familiar place. They promised to bring back a good movie that night.

            So, I spent my afternoon doing homework and watching whatever was on TV. Time crawled, and I found myself staring at the clock, wishing it would go faster. For a time, I questioned myself, wondering if this trip had been a good idea. If I was going to be alone much of the time anyway... I might as well have stayed in the dorm.

            A sudden weariness struck me, and I set my books aside. I crawled into the hide-a-bed and dozed away the rest of the day.

^_^

            I woke sometime late that night when I felt the flimsy bed shift. Not certain where I was at first, I glanced up in alarm, only to start when light fingers rested on my forehead.

            "It's just me, sweetheart. Go back to sleep."

            "What--"

            "There's only three beds," he explained. "And the other two are twins. Chou figured you wanted to sleep on this since that's what you were doing today and last night."

            "I'm sorry..." I tried to figure out what he was saying. Hazy from sleep, it was not an easy task. "I didn't--"

            "Don't worry about it, sweetheart," Kamatari whispered. "You want me to see if Anji'll switch with you?"

            "No... that's okay..." I was surprisingly indifferent about the whole thing. Shifting slightly to make more room for the other man, I closed my eyes again. I should not have been able to sleep with how much I had been doing that lately, but the laziness rose to greet me again.

            "Kenshin?"

            I sighed and mumbled an incoherent response, wondering what Kamatari wanted when we were supposed to be sleeping.

            "You okay?"

            Another mumble was my reply. I rolled onto my side, drifting away from the world. If he talked anymore, I did not hear it.

^_^

            I woke early the next morning feeling hazy and unmotivated. Kamatari was still sleeping, pressed close to my back, his arm slung carelessly over my shoulder. Cautiously extricating myself from the unwitting embrace, I slid off the bed and made my way to the bathroom. The muted barking of a dog outside somewhere made me pause. There was this distant recollection of opening my eyes to seeing a golden, furry face lunging at me.

            I shook my head, pushing it away. That was not the time to be brooding over such things. Recalling that I had gotten a gift for Kamatari and a card for Chou, I tried to think about those instead. Christmas was supposed to be a cheerful holiday. Kamatari would probably be grinning away, pouncing the presents under the tree and demanding we do something special for dinner. The least I could do was try to act happy.

^_^

            Kamatari gave me two gifts--one for Christmas and another, he said, as a 'get well' present. The Christmas gift was an oddly colored sweater. It was pink... sort of. It looked like it was meant to be red but had faded into this lighter shade. Very strange. He made me promise I'd wear it that day.

            The other gift was, of all things, a Care Bear. It was the yellow one with the sun on its white tummy. 'Funshine Bear' was its name according to the tag. Kamatari smiled brightly as I stared at it.

            "For all those times when you're feeling down, sweetheart," he said, patting my shoulder lightly. "Doesn't it just cheer you up looking at it?"

            "It's making my eyes hurt," I murmured, tucking the thing under my arm and slouching back on the bed. I offered a weak smile. "Thanks, Kamatari."

            He lowered his eyes, although he was still smiling. Chou lifted his eyebrows at me, and I frowned back at him. Thankfully, Kamatari broke the silence by reaching for the next gift.

            "You got me something, sweetheart?"

            It was the latest book by Robin Hobb. Kamatari loved the series, once telling me that the Fool was his idol. I had no idea what he was talking about, of course, having never read the books. Either way, he loved it.

            "And in hard cover!" he swooned over the book, barely parting with it to hook his arm around my neck and press his lips to my cheek in a jubilant gesture of gratitude. "Thank you, sweetheart! I was waiting for it to come out in paperback. You know, the libraries _never_ get this book!"*

            "Happy Hanukah... or whatever," I said, absently wiping my cheek. He stuck his tongue out, dragging his thumb over his lower lip and turning it to display...

            "No lipstick this time!"

            Ah. Well, that did not mean I could not feel the damp spot where his mouth had hit.

            "Don't we get anything?" Chou inserted then, scowling in feigned jealousy. "I mean, I got you something, Kamatari!"

            Chou gave Kamatari the ever practical gift certificate to Barnes & Noble. Kamatari liked it almost as much as the book I gave him. Most people who liked to read, I discovered, loved those certificates (gift cards now, so they could make you spend every last cent of it on them).

            "Of _course_ I got you something!" Kamatari pulled out the last gift and held it out. It was pretty big, rectangular and wrapped in magazine ads. Those ads looked like they came from a somewhat inappropriate magazine, although (thankfully) none of them showed anything.

            Chou tore into the paper, shreds of it fluttering to the carpet. I stared at the scraps for a few seconds, compulsively driven to pick them up. I restrained myself, lifting my eyes to the box in Chou's hands, which was open, tissue paper flying.

            "All _right!_" Chou smirked and held up what appeared to be some sort of video game. "Grand Theft Auto: Vice City!"

            He would never be torn away from his Playstation again. The man was a video game fanatic.

            "I think that's it," Kamatari smiled apologetically at Anji. "I didn't even know you were coming, Anj'. I would have brought a little something for you."

            "Don't worry about it," Anji smiled faintly and stood, brushing pieces of Chou's gift wrapping off his lap. "Who wants omelets?"

            "You're cooking?" Chou snorted incredulously.

            "You want Kenshin to cook?" Anji offered. I prayed Chou said no. If he expected me to make omelets, then he was sorely mistaken. Scrambled eggs I might have managed, but I had never made an omelet in my life.

            "No!" Kamatari piped up quickly, grabbing my wrist before I could stand. "He's been doing everything around here--Chou, don't even think about mentioning Christmas decorations because you know that doesn't count. Someone else needs to do the cooking."

            "I don't mind," I muttered, even though I really preferred to go along with his assertion.

            "Shut up," Kamatari ordered, and I closed my mouth, startled by his authoritative behavior. "I'm going to shower and get dressed. Chou and Anji are going skiing again today, so you and I are going to a movie. _Lord of the Rings_ is out."

            "I thought you were going to rent a movie," I murmured in mild bewilderment.

            "Change of plans," Kamatari retorted, climbing to his feet and pulling me out of the social room.

            "Wait--"

            "I need some help picking out what to wear, sweetheart!"

            That sounded like the Kamatari I remembered. Sighing in mock impatience, I let him drag me down the hall to where his bags were stored.

^_^

*In truth, Kenshin probably would not have been able to get this book yet. Last one was released in January of this year, and following with typical release schedules, I predict the next to be released _next_ January or later. *shrug* Whatever. The insertion of that particular series was a bit of a joke on my part.

^_^

            We went to the one o'clock showing of the third _Lord of the Rings_ film. Afterwards, we stopped at the video rental place to pick up a couple other movies for later days. Kamatari wanted to stop at the grocery--apparently, he knew a recipe for some sort of Asian curry that would 'knock my socks off'--but it was closed for the holiday.

            "We usually make turkey or ham for Christmas dinner," he informed me while I stood by the counter, watching him dig through the cupboards and pantry for various items. "But since it's really better to let a big turkey cook for a long time, we can't have that... I don't think we have one anyway."

            "Turkey?" I wanted something to drink, but I did not want to get in his way, so I stayed where I was, shifting restlessly on my feet. "No. Just that sliced stuff... no ham either."

            "Pity," Kamatari grinned and pulled a bag of salad out of the refrigerator. "I guess that means we'll make do with turkey sandwiches and salads. Mustard?"

            "Yuck--no," I grimaced, moving to help him, but he just chased me away.

            "I'll do it," he said quickly. "You... get some napkins."

            "I'm not helpless," I muttered. "I made lunch yesterday."

            "Just relax," Kamatari frowned at me, waving toward a chair with the butter knife. "You're always doing something. And you look tired."

            I was not always doing something. The previous day had been a good example of how Kamatari's statement was not true. It was also proof of _why_ I constantly searched for things to do. Despite the medication, depression snuck up on me rather suddenly when I was sitting idle. Inactivity gave me time to think--time for my mind to wander--which I tried to avoid as my train of thought usually followed along an unhappy track.

            However, Kamatari probably would not let me help unless I actually explained all that to him. So I sat at the table to wait. There was a deck of cards by the wall, and I picked them up, flipping through them absently. Even without the sling, my range of movement was not great, nor was it completely comfortable. I did not use my arm much at all. The healing bone informed me it was not ready for it. Another two weeks and I would be pushing through the various exercises of physical therapy. I was caught between anticipating and dreading it.

            "What do you say we make cookies after dinner?" Kamatari asked as he put a plate in front of me. "I've got the materials to make chocolate chip, peanut butter, or sugar. No sprinkles though."

            "Let's do chocolate chip," I agreed. It did sound like a nice way to spend the evening. Chou and Anji probably would not get back for another couple hours anyway.

            So, we had our early dinner, cleaned up from that, and cranked up the oven for baking. Kamatari pulled out two bags of chocolate chips, declaring we would double the recipe to account for the voracious appetites of our temporarily absent companions. We dug out the supply of CDs, stuck in an old Bon Jovi album (as that was the only thing we could agree on), and set to work.

            Conversation was limited to small talk which was centered around Kamatari and his life at Harvard. It sounded like a lot of studying with less free time. That was likely due to his course load as opposed to the different school. A lot of studying and some friends... it was appealing. I would have given just about anything to have had the same type of semester.

            The first batch turned out horribly burned, which Kamatari decided was a result of the high altitude and our lack of attention to it. Fair enough. We made enough to feed everyone on my dorm floor--two apiece, no less--so a dozen blackened chocolate chip cookies was not a great tragedy. Kamatari threw them into a bag, claiming he would use them to feed the squirrels. I put them in the trash when he was not looking. Of course, he noticed an instant later, and he nearly tackled me for it.

            "You little twerp!" He hooked his arm around my neck, dragging me around the kitchen. I yelped and staggered, grabbing for his sweater as I tried to keep from falling.

            "Wait a minute--!" I cut off, squirming back when his knuckles rubbed over my skull roughly. "_Ow!_ Kama--!"

            I cut off abruptly, startled when he suddenly let go. Running my fingers through my bangs and back into my ponytail to shove some of the hair back into place, I glanced at him in confusion. He had an odd look on his face--guilty, concerned, and a little fearful.

            "I'm so sorry," he said quickly. "I forgot--" He cut off, biting his lip nervously. "Are you okay?"

            "Fine," I said slowly, thrown by his sudden caution.

            The timer chose that moment to go off, and Kamatari looked vastly relieved.

            "Cookies!" he announced, snatching up the oven mitt and jumping away from me. 

            I stared at his back, not certain how to react. That expression had been so strange. I wondered what he had been thinking.

            "This one's good!"

            Shaking my head, I went to help him push the next batch into the oven. If he kept acting like that, I would comment. One incident was nothing to get worried about.

^_^

            We had rented _Bourne Identity_, _Minority Report_, and _My Fair Lady_. Kamatari picked out that last one. Typical Kamatari. Chou and Anji appreciated my choices when faced with that one. Not that it mattered. No one was in the mood for movie-watching that night. We sat around the table with cookies, beer, and milk. Chou and Anji were drinking the alcohol. I was still banned from it until June, and Kamatari had no taste for it.

            "New year's resolutions," Chou tossed the subject out, and we considered it. "I'm going to get all passing grades for the rest of my college career."

            "Bold," Anji muttered. "I suppose then I should say I will do the same."

            "What about the monastery?" Kamatari wondered, and I looked up in surprise. Anji was quiet--mild and gentle--despite his imposing presence. Even so, I never expected him to be the type to make such a move.

            "My family still does not approve," Anji shrugged.

            "The hell with them," Chou grunted, throwing back a swig of his Miller and glaring at Anji out of the corner of his eye. "That kind of thing, man... you can't face your parents, you can't make it there."

            Anji frowned and picked up his own beer, refusing to reply. It was an odd way to say it, but Chou had a point. As one who had failed--repeatedly--to meet numerous challenges, I had to admit that much.

            "What about you, sweetheart?" Kamatari nudged my side gently, and I glanced at him before shrugging. I honestly had no idea what I was going to resolve. It seemed there were many things in my life that needed to be changed--reevaluated. "Well," he continued, hesitating only a bit when I did not give an answer. "_I_ am going to stop cross-dressing."

            The reaction was immediate. All three of us looked at Kamatari in shock, Chou even going so far as to mutter a startled, "What the hell are you talking about?"

            Kamatari shrugged, tracing odd patterns in the condensation on his glass.

            "I don't do it much now anyway," he murmured. "And something like that could wreak havoc on my career. My parents will appreciate me for it."

            "We just talked about this," Chou growled, glaring at Kamatari, then Anji, then back at Kamatari. His gaze moved to me a minute later, and he snorted, shoving his chair back. "God, I'm surrounded by a bunch of sissies." That said, he walked out of the kitchen.

            Well that stung. I certainly never expected him to draw me into the ring like that, even if he _was_ right.

            "Ahhh, to live a life without the great pressures of politics," Kamatari murmured, standing as well. "I suppose it's about time we hit the sack. Anji?"

            "Merry Christmas," Anji grumbled, leaving his beer and napkin on the table when he slunk out of the room.

            True... We ended on a rather sour note that night. Kamatari giggled softly, and I glanced at him uncertainly. He reached up and ruffled my bangs, making me frown and stand to get away from it.

            "What's life without a bit of sacrifice?" he asked as I picked up after our messy roommates. "It makes you stronger, right?"

            "Not always," I replied quietly, putting the milk in the refrigerator and walking out of the kitchen. Kamatari trailed after me silently. Neither of us spoke as we prepared for bed. It was a bit awkward this time, climbing onto the bed next to him. It was big--the couch was very long, making the bed very wide--and two more of us could have fit on it. Even so, I had to remind myself of where I was and who I was with.

            "It does," Kamatari spoke as I reached for the light, and I had to struggle to figure out what he was talking about. "If you're willing to be stronger."

            How perfectly confusing of him. I closed my eyes and tried to push the words away. They nagged at me a bit, but I did not understand them at the time. A little later, I managed to forget about it long enough to fall asleep. Kamatari did not speak again that night.

^_^

            I woke from a particularly bad dream sometime early the following morning. I couldn't remember much about it, just fleeting impressions that had me shaking and gasping as I began to realize I was finally awake. Even as I recognized this simple fact, I noticed how small my surroundings seemed.

            It should have bothered me, being that close to someone else. A month ago, I would have jumped back, scrambling to get away from the man with his arms around me. My mind must have been moving slowly, perhaps as a result of the dream, because I found myself not wanting to move. It was very appealing, suddenly, to curl up against him, knowing he would never do anything to hurt me.

            "Mmm," Kamatari sighed, a quiet vibration against my cheek. "You're feverish, sweetheart."

            That might have had something to do with it, too.

            Neither of us moved. The trembling had stopped for the most part, my breathing back to normal--regular like the gentle rise and fall of his chest. Kamatari had stretched out on his side, his arm under my head while the other rested loosely over my shoulder. Sometime during the night, I must have crunched up against him because we were mostly on his side of the bed. Not that he seemed ready to complain, his chin resting comfortably on my skull, my nose against his throat. He had a vaguely sweaty scent which was (fortunately) not too strong to handle. Still, he needed a shower, as I probably did.

            "I think we should stay here today," Kamatari murmured, and I grimaced at how his throat hummed so close to my face. "The stores will be crazy today with gift certificate holders and people returning gifts they hated. Plus, if you're getting sick, we shouldn't push you."

            I wasn't worried about them pushing me. Hell, I rarely pushed myself, so it was probably good that someone did. It reminded me of something Sano said once... months ago. I didn't remember the exact words, but I did remember how mad it made me. It was something about me not being able to take any control in a relationship. He said he did not mean it, but he never would have said it if it did not hold some measure of truth. It would not have hurt so much if it was completely false.

            Laying there, curled up against Kamatari's chest, it ate at me. There I was, passive as ever, probably giving Kamatari the wrong idea with how I was not pulling away.

            My thoughts turned to Kaoru. How many times had I leaned on her, taking from her, needing her support? How often had I returned the favor?

            Groaning, protesting my thoughts, the morning, and just about everything else that came with being conscious, I rolled away from Kamatari. His hand slid over my arm without purchase, thankfully not attempting to hold me back. I avoided looking at him as I slid off the bed and walked around to the kitchen. My mouth was dry, and I wanted a drink.

            Behind me, I heard the quiet sounds of Kamatari getting up. It was just another day to work through.

^_^

            The fever Kamatari claimed I had turned out to be nothing. In actuality, I had not been ill since I caught the flu the previous spring, which was unusual. Well, the times I had been injured more than made up for it.

            We went sightseeing the next day. It was more for Anji and me than for Kamatari or Chou, as both had been to Vail multiple times. Either way, it started out nice, Chou driving us up into the mountains. There were several little pit stops on the way, mostly scenic overlooks and such. At the top of the mountain, there was a gift shop and a set of stairs to climb to the top. We decided against that, wishing to avoid the exposed mountaintop in the dead of winter. Not many others were there either.

            On the way back, we stopped at a little picnic place. We ate in the car, using the place as a parking lot. Kamatari climbed out afterwards, declaring it time to stretch his legs. It seemed like a good idea, so I followed, Chou and Anji not far behind. We ended up on a rocky ledge, staring out at the most incredible view I had ever seen. It seemed to go on forever, the sunny day making everything look crystal clear. Pine trees covered the base of each mountain, a road meandering through the side of another, a bridge spanning between two mountainsides, and a snow white riverbed, thousands of feet below us at the base of the steep hillside.

            _It would be so easy_.

            The thought came to me, completely unexpected and jarring in its sincerity. Heart pounding, I jerked back, away from the edge. My foot hit a patch of ice, and my heart skipped a beat as I scrambled to remain upright.

            "Kenshin?" Anji was the first to notice my retreat, and I lifted my arm in a hurried wave.

            "It's cold," I said, struggling to keep the tremor out of my voice. That thought had been truly frightening. Even in my morbid thoughts after Tomoe had died, when Enishi pulled that gun on me... never had I thought such a thing. Never had I _considered_ it. And never had I believed that it would not be such a bad thing.

            I paused next to the car, breathing raggedly, white clouds dissolving in the air before me.

            _Would anyone really be worse off?_

            Yanking the door open, I climbed into the back seat and slammed the door shut behind me. Shuddering in disgust, I stared out the window at the snow lined road. It was stupid. Just... stupid. How could anyone even spare a moment for it? I still remembered Tomoe crying and Aunt Tokio crouching in front of us, speaking to me...

            _"Kenshin, sweetie... Your daddy is not coming home tonight. He has a new home. He's in heaven now... with Mommy."_

            The tickle of a tear rolling down my cheek pulled me out of the memory. I wiped the damp away and closed my eyes. With a shaky sigh, I kicked off my shoes and twisted, laying on my back on the bench. No one would question me if they thought I was just tired and needed sleep.

^_^

            It was another all-day trip to the slopes the day after that. I went along, bringing my book and notes to keep myself occupied. Truth be told, I was afraid of what I would do if left alone in the condo all day. Chances were, I would sleep the day away again, but it unnerved me to be alone. At least I had people around me in the ski lodge.

            "I feel bad," Kamatari said that night as we were getting ready for bed. "It must have been boring..."

            "It's okay," I said uneasily. "I don't mind."

            He was quiet for awhile, and I thought we would have a night of silence. Of course, I was mistaken. It seemed I usually was.

            "Are you okay, Kenshin?" he asked softly. I could feel his eyes on me as I sat on the bed. "You seem troubled."

            I glanced at him, shrugged, and slid under the covers. If I tried to answer that how I really wanted, he would know I was lying. It was better to keep silent, I thought as I rolled onto my side, away from him.

            "What's wrong, Kenshin?" he asked again, sitting next to me, his hand on my shoulder.

            There were so many answers to that question, I could not begin to know how to answer it.

            "Please... don't keep this to yourself," Kamatari tried again. "It only hurts you if you do."

            I knew that, but habits were difficult to break.

            "Kenshin..."

            He kept using my name. Where was the 'sweetheart' that he so enjoyed calling me? I found it disturbing, the difference bothering me, making me wonder what he was thinking. Why was he getting so formal again?

            "I don't want to talk about it," I said, honest at the very least.

            "I know," Kamatari sighed.

            We rested quietly for awhile, Kamatari thinking who knows what while I tried to keep the tears from my eyes. God, I was getting so emotional! It was irritating and disturbing, especially with the way my chest hurt, my stomach threatening to reject dinner, and my hands starting to shake.

            "Sweetheart, you're breathing funny," Kamatari said, some alarm in his voice. "Are you--You're shaking!"

            His hand went to my head, and I found myself cringing away from the contact, gasping when normal breathing failed me. My chest ached, my eyes burning, nothing else working quite right. I did not resist when Kamatari pulled me back against his chest.

            "Kenshin--"

            As the old saying went, the dams broke, and I lost track of things for awhile. I cried a little, telling Kamatari everything, halting sentences making their way through it all. I told him about my troubles with Kaoru, Aunt Tokio, about the psychologists Uncle Hiko made me see, how I couldn't eat, how I felt uncomfortable around Sano and Megumi, and the latest, which frightened me the most, of my suicidal thoughts the previous day. I told him things I'd not even considered telling Kaoru. About the lingering terror from that awful day before Thanksgiving, my confusion about Kevin and why he had any involvement in the deal.

            Once started, I could not seem to stop, everything pouring out whether I liked it or not. How much time passed, I did not know. It could have been hours or twenty minutes with how the words flowed--so unsteadily. The tears stopped pretty quickly, only the thickness in my throat giving me difficulties.

            Kamatari just hugged me, muttering nonsense to me as I finished talking. I was drained, physically and emotionally, still shuddering but calmer by that point. Sometime after that, I fell asleep, listening to Kamatari's harsh breathing, feeling the dampness where his chin hit my head, his tears draining into my hair. I was not positive yet, but it felt better to know someone else knew about all that.

^_^

Notes: *utilizes duck and cover techniques* For all you Kaoru lovers out there… she's not gone. You won't see her for a little while, but I promise, she's not been booted out of the story.

Kenshin was a little girly in this chapter, I realize, but under such stress, I thought it was not so bad.

Kesnhin: What's with the cuddle session with Kamatari?

Fitz: It was cute!

Kenshin: *sigh*

Kamatari: *contented sigh*

Suicide is a topic I will touch on with utmost care. I do not approve of it, but that does not mean I do not understand people who feel it is their only option. For all those out there who have ever considered it, my love and sincere hope that you overcome your troubles.

Random Omake 

**Kenshin**: *Narrating* He never did lecture me on the importance of being Earnest. Which was good because I've already seen the movie _and_ the play.

**Kaoru**: Um... Kenshin? What does that have to do with anything?

**Kenshin**: Absolutely nothing. Keep smiling. Camera's on you.

**Kaoru**: *bright, false smile*

Reviewers:

**Neko Oni**: A lot of your questions are explained (at least in part) in Moments in Time.

**Red Ninja**: I don't know if I should be happy or sorry that the story got to you like that.

**Fuuko-san**: Thanks for sharing that little anecdote. It helps me put some things into persepective.

**mvdiva**: The reactions ranged all over the board for that chapter.

**haku baikou**: *wince* Not much to say to that, and I emailed you already.

**Hana Himura**: *wishing I had cable*

**Miyu Sakura**: *runs from weirdo with a Nerf bat* Well… there goes Kaoru. Sorry 'bout that.

**Renmauza**: I did not see you coming either. *twitching on the floor from being run over by new reviewer*

**Sterling**: I thought that part was fairly clear. Go check it again. If you're still confused, ask then.

**NightRain**: The shootings were not as random as you might think. Keep in mind Kenshin's perceptions were wildly distorted with fear and shock, and he _may_ have gotten a few details wrong. I hope I can clear things up before the story ends.

**futagoakuma-tenshi01**: *ghostly Enishi floats by shouting* I'm still here!!

**Chiki**: Um… I'm not one for 'fate' or 'love' questions. I don't think I can answer that.

**aku-chan**: *hands aku-chan a tissue*

**Minami-chan**: Which… explicit lemons are not allowed on ff.net, no matter what people say or turn a blind eye to. Sorry, it annoys me. Thanks, and yeah… *heavy sigh* I know they get together in the end.

**Vesca**: Don't fall off. *loud, annoying laughter* Ahem. Sorry. Bad joke.

**marstanuki**: Hear that, Kenshin? You need to start crying.

**Glayrockk**: Well, I never said Kevin was that guy, but I'm glad you're happy for Enishi. I kind of felt sorry for the man while I was writing this.

**SVZ**: Well, little poet, the story will be ending within two or three chapters, depending.

**Espi**: No, Kenshin was not drugged. And that is an interesting reaction. Kind of neat.

**Calger459**: At least some people were not confused…

**omochi**: Scarred, perhaps. I think he'll survive.

**Wingstar**: We all appreciate coherence. And thanks for the review.

**Lazy Jovian Angel**: (assuming the Lazy is not actually part of the name…) Kenshin does _not_ get mistaken for a girl in the series, and this is probably because of his bearing and gender-specific clothing. It's just something cute to insert, so I did.

**Iram**: My first reaction to your review? Coooool.

**nekonomiko**: While I was not really in a depressive mood while writing most of this, I must admit a lot of this was written while I was particularly irritated or frustrated. Many events are inspired by things that are happening (or have happened fairly recently) to me in real life.

**yuki**: I think your question was answered in this chapter.

tesuka- chan: Your questions on Kevin and Enishi are answered in Moments in Time. Mike is kind of a middle man and will never be truly understood.

Gundam Girl: I am currently in a state of disgusted shock. I am unable to picture a Misao/Hiko pairing, and I think perhaps that is for the best. 

**C-Chan**: And in return I say, "yeah." (Our typical response to 'wow')


	35. Making amends

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything, anywhere, anytime. Ever.

**Notes**: For the several questions about this story becoming a Kamatari/Kenshin fic, the answer is a big, fat NO. I know they had some close moments in the previous chapter, but hugging does not qualify as shounen ai. They're friends. Nothing more. Nothing less. As I have stated repeatedly, this is a canon coupling fic. That means if a person is paired with another it will be A/M, S/M, and K/K.

I was astounded at the reactions to Kaoru's behavior. She has been the subject of several threatened punches and slaps. She's over in a corner crying.

Kaoru: *sobbing* I'm a rotten girlfriend!

Kenshin: *pats Kaoru's shoulder* Don't feel so bad. I'm a rotten, lying, wimpy, loser of a boyfriend.

Sano: *snicker* They make a hell of a pair!

**Warnings**: Longer chapter, some predictable scenes, and Kenshin behind the steering wheel of a Saturn.

Onward!!

My Life

            "You've got some growing up to do, sweetheart," Kamatari told me a couple days later. Anji and Chou were out again, and we took up another cooking project. This time it was fudge. "You're too selfish."

            "I know," I sighed, eyeing the chocolate on the counter before dropping it into the double boiler.

            "It's not good enough just to know," Kamatari retorted. He was cleaning the pans we'd already dirtied. "You have to want to change. If you don't change, then you'll never get past this."

            "You talk like you know," I grumbled.

            "You think I did not have to reevaluate things last spring?" he shot back. "I've taken advanced psychology courses, talked to my own shrinks. I know."

            "So what do you expect me to do, oh great Guru?" I asked, automatically reaching to turn down the stovetop temperature.

            "Get a spine, for one thing," Kamatari said. "I've got more balls than you, and I'm gay."

            "Funny," I said dryly.

            "Call Kaoru." I winced.

            "What if she's already dating someone?"

            "What if she's not?" Kamatari countered. "You'll never know if you don't call. You know, someone said that if you wish never to fail, then do nothing at all. You're doing a marvelous job at it, but you'll never succeed either, will you?"

            "Who said that?" I demanded.

            "Not a clue," Kamatari shrugged. "But it's true. Kaoru's the first step, you know. Talk to her. Be honest. Do something for her for a change."

            I stirred the melting chocolate, staring absently down into the dark brown swirls.

            "What about Sano and Megumi?" I wondered. "Aunt Tokio? The whole... the mountain thing." That was not easy to discuss, even though I already told him.

            "Stop looking at all the problems at once," Kamatari ordered. "It's why you're so overwhelmed. Don't think about suicide. Do those other things, and you'll feel better. That will fade on its own."

            "You really think so," I said doubtfully.

            "Yep."

            I sighed. It was going to be the most difficult thing I had ever done in my life.

            "Okay," I relented. "I'll call Kaoru."

            Kamatari grinned and held out a clean pan.

            "Pour it into this."

^_^

            "Come on. Nobody will ever know."

            "I really shouldn't... Uncle Hiko said--"

            "Screw what Uncle Hiko said. You need to live a little!"

            "But my shoulder--"

            "I'll help if you need it."

            And so Kamatari shoved me into the driver's seat of his Saturn. He grinned at me, dragged the seatbelt over my shoulder and clipped it into place at my hip. I stared at him anxiously, flinching away from the car door when he slammed it shut.

            "I've never driven, Kamatari," I protested again as he climbed into the car next to me. "My permit is long since expired. I probably have to take the test over again."

            "Don't worry so much," Kamatari strapped himself in. "Look. It's all open road. Just stay at the posted, keep the car between the yellow line and the white line, and you'll be fine. If someone wants to go around you, slow down and let them. That's all you need to remember."

            "You could get fined if someone pulls me over," I pointed out, eyeing the various levers and buttons on and around the steering wheel. I did not even know how to use a turn signal. "How do I--"

            "Just start by turning the key and getting the engine started," he advised.

            Sighing, I did as he said. It coughed once before settling into a soft drone, and I pulled my hand away from the ignition. This was a bad idea in my mind. I was certain I was going to get us into an accident.

            "Now what?" I glanced at the levers around the wheel--one on the left, one on the right. There was another stick between the two seats.

            "Start by figuring out how to work everything," Kamatari said. "Find the turn signal."

            One-by-one, he drilled me on the various necessities. We went through the turn signal, windshield wipers, headlights, cruise control--which he said I would not use for awhile--breaks and emergency breaks, and various other things. It was not that difficult to remember, and I glanced to the gear shift between the seats.

            "Park," he pointed at the different letters. "Reverse, drive, first and second gears. You won't likely use those last two, so ignore them for now. Push the button to shift gears."

            I got the hang of that pretty quickly, adjusted the mirrors to suit my height, and we were ready (supposedly) to go.

            "Let's get on the highway," Kamatari suggested.

            "If I get you killed, just remember this is all your fault," I said, tense as I glanced over my shoulder, wondering just how I was going to do this.

            "I'll write it out in blood and sign it," he joked. "Go."

            I went. The car moved smoothly, at least it did until I jumped on the breaks, making Kamatari gasp in surprise.

            "Nothing's there, sweetheart," he murmured. "Keep going."

            Moaning uneasily, I nodded and released the break. The car moved on its own, which Kamatari assured me was what it was supposed to do. I just had to use the gas pedal to get it to the speed I wanted.

            We were heading home for the rest of break. Chou's parents wanted the condo for the new year, and we were booted out. Kamatari was flying out of St. Paul the next week anyway, so it was just as well. So early Tuesday morning, we set out for Minnesota, determined to make it in one shot. So no one had to ride alone, I volunteered to go with Kamatari, which I was regretting as I eased the car out of the parking lot of the rest stop.

            "I'm not going to have to make any exits or highway changes, am I?" I asked, staring down the row of rapidly approaching cars.

            "Not for a couple hundred miles," Kamatari replied. "Go."

            "There's a--"

            "Go!"

            I went. One the road, I actually managed to get the car to the right speed before the other car caught up with us. Kamatari smirked.

            "I told you it's simple," he settled back, closing his eyes. I panicked.

            "Wait a minute!" I snapped. "You're going to sleep?!"

            "Hold it..." Kamatari yawned, eyeing the car that moved past us rapidly, pulling in front of us and slowing again. I recognized Chou's car. "Just follow him. You'll be fine. If you've got problems, just shout. I'll wake up."

            I groaned.

            "My first time driving--illegally, no less--and you're leaving me to go solo," I complained.

            "I need to be awake to drive when it gets dark," Kamatari explained confidently. "We'll pull over for dinner, and we'll trade then. Fair?"

            "Write that contract and sign it," I muttered.

            Despite my protests, it was easier than I thought it would be. I really did not have to move my arms too much, my left hand settling nicely on the bottom of the steering wheel, so it did not make the ache in my shoulder any worse. It was not overly windy, the roads clear of any ice, and it was pretty much a straight stretch. Chou must have figured out who was driving because he kept close to the speed limit, not passing every car in sight as he did on the way to Colorado.

            Sighing to relieve some of my tension, I settled back and concentrated on keeping the car in the right lane, Chou's sedan a comforting sight ahead of me. A couple times someone passed us, making me jump. I remembered Kamatari's advice, slowed down, and let them pass. Then, we were driving steadily again until we pulled into a McDonald's, four hours later.

^_^

            We had to scramble for a place to stay as the University generally looked down upon those remaining in the dorms without prior notice. That is, we had to pay a fee to stay there between semesters, not to mention no meals were served.

            A few calls the previous day, and we secured a place to sleep--a couple places, actually. Anji was going home, Chou and Kamatari both accepting invitations to stay with him. I considered accepting, but I really did not know Anji let alone his family, so I made another call. Thus, Kamatari dropped me off at a small house in Bloomington before leaving to join the other two.

            "You sure you'll be okay?" he asked, carrying my suitcase for me while I toted along my backpack. It was an excuse. The hour was creeping up on midnight, and I was equally grateful for the company.

            "It's Sano's family," I nodded. "It'll be fine."

            "Call if you need anything," Kamatari ordered. "I put the number in your bag."

            "When did you do that?" I asked, pushing the doorbell.

            "I wasn't sleeping the _entire_ time while you drove," he laughed. "Come here."

            I dropped my bag and hooked my arm behind his back, letting him pull me against him in a cautious embrace. For once it did not feel so awkward. I tilted my head back to rest my chin up on his shoulder.

            "You're fine, sweetheart," he murmured. "Just remember that I love you, as do a host of other people. Okay? Call me your big brother."

            "Brother?" I challenged quietly.

            "Ah hah," he tugged on my ponytail lightly, drawing away. "I guess I could do sister, couldn't I?"

            "Yeah," I sighed. "Happy New Year, Kamatari."

            "Very touching scene," Sano's sarcastic voice broke over us, and we glanced up to see him standing in the doorway, a bold smirk on his face, his arms crossed over his chest. "You two are going to freeze to death out here. You coming in, Kamatari?"

            "No, I should get going," Kamatari smiled and handed Sano my suitcase. Turning, he walked down the steps and toward his car, waving as he went. "Good night, all."

            "Good night," I called after him, even as Sano pulled me into the house.

            "Yeah, good night!" he added, slamming the door shut. Yawning widely for show, he pointed down the hall. "You. Me. Sleep. Now."

            I nodded and followed him to the bedrooms.

^_^

            Wednesday came, and along with it the excitement of New Year's Eve. I slept better than I had over the past week, which was not surprising considering I had spent the last week sleeping in an uncomfortable hide-a-bed with another person. It was not a recipe for a good night's sleep.

            I decided that since I was already with Sano, I would take care my affairs with him before calling Kaoru. I felt better about the whole thing since discussing it with Kamatari. Suddenly, it did not seem so huge.

            That did not mean, however, it was an easy thing to do. I must have attempted to bring up the subject about seven times that day without any success. Settings such as three of us sitting around a Playstation game or chasing Yahiko and Sano around outside in a snow war were not conducive to serious conversations. We were winding down, preparing for dinner at about six o'clock that night when I finally said what I needed to say. Of course, 'blurted' might have been a better description for it.

            "I hate to quote a cliché, but you look like a drowned rat," Sano informed me. He walked into the guest room without bothering to knock, and I was only half out of my clothes.

            "I blame the two who decided it would be funny to gang up on me," I replied, digging through my bag for a clean sweatshirt.

            "You deserved it," Sano grimaced. "If you ever drop snow down my shirt again, I will dump you into a snow bank."

            "You dumped the _snow bank_ on _me_," I rolled my eyes. "Although, it was worth it to hear that girly little shriek."

            "It was not a girly shriek, girly-boy," Sano shot back.

            I failed to bring up a proper retort, so I took the towel off my head and pulled on a warm, _dry_ sweatshirt. The cold had seeped in already, and it would take more than a sweatshirt to get me warm again. After tugging on a pair of flannel pants, I located a brush and went to work on my tangled hair.

            "What's for dinner?" I asked to fill the awkward silence.

            "Chicken," Sano blinked. "Oh, that's what I was here to say. Dinner'll be ready soon. What do you want to drink?"

            "Water," I replied automatically, and he turned to go.

            A little voice in my head shouted at me, reminding me 'Look! We have some privacy! Talk to him! Don't let him get away!' Sano looked pretty startled when I grabbed the back of his sweater.

            "Wait!"

            "What?" he looked at me curiously, and my voice failed me for a minute.

            "Uh..." I choked on the urge to tell him it was nothing. "I-I..." I stuttered on that one for a few seconds while Sano looked at me uncertainly. "I'm sorry."

            "Sorry for what?" he asked, honestly confused. "For shoving that ice down my shirt?"

            "No..." I stared at the blue-gray carpet, then his feet, my feet, not really focusing on anything. "Um... this past year... this year, I didn't really handle things very well. I was a jerk to everyone, and... and I'm sorry... I didn't say anything... to you."

            It felt like I stood under his stare for an hour, but it was probably only a minute or so. He sighed finally, and I looked at him. He did not give me much of a chance to see him as I suddenly found myself pressed into his chest, my nose nearly crushed into his shoulder.

            My pained complaint came out muffled from the material of his sweater, and he ignored it.

            "Just don't do anything like that to me again," he ordered gruffly. "Okay, Kenshin?"

            I nodded and awkwardly patted his back. He let go, and I sighed with relief, offering him a weak smile.

            "Dinner time?"

            He smirked and walked out of the room. Throwing my brush on the bed, I followed.

^_^

            "You talked to Kaoru yet?"

            Of all people, I should have expected Sano would ask about that. Even so... It made me sigh.

            "No." I was compelled to give an excuse, but I knew it would come off as just that, so I closed my mouth and left it alone. Sano knew how it felt. He had done the same thing not so long ago. Less than two months, actually. It seemed like a lifetime had passed, but it really was not that long.

            "Want me to talk to her?" he offered.

            "No." That was automatic. I recalled my encounter with Megumi. I had no reason to believe Kaoru would ever shove so much of her emotional baggage on someone else like Megumi had, but I had promised--myself and Kamatari--that I would call Kaoru. I was not going to have someone else do it for me.

            Sano just grinned at my response, shrugging and reaching for the remote control. He turned on the television and set the remote down again. We were watching the countdown on CBS. It was the celebration in New York, and it was only about ten minutes to midnight, when the ball would drop. I had watched it once when I was younger, and I recall being disappointed. I always thought they would actually drop that big glowing ball--just release it and let it shatter--but this was not the case. I guess it was just the product of a twelve-year-old boy's imagination.

            "When are you going to call her?" Sano asked casually.

            "I don't know." I glanced over to Yahiko. The boy was falling asleep, eyelids drooping as he leaned into Mr. Sagara's side. Mr. Sagara continued to read his book, some classic novel. I tilted my head to check the title. _The Three Musketeers._ It was not a bad book. I read it early on in high school.

            "Your move, Kenshin."

            I glanced at the Checker board and smiled. Sano was very bad at the game, and it showed. I had most of my pieces left, and he had three. A half dozen more moves, assuming he did nothing too unpredictable, and I would have the game. I took one of his pieces, and he was down to two.

            "Damn," Sano sighed. "Take it. I'm getting a Pepsi. You want anything?"

            I shook my head, muttering, "Thanks," as I tossed the game board into its box. The reporter on the television was announcing that the countdown was only minutes away.

            I had my resolution. My talk with Kamatari had helped with that. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right when he said I needed to grow up. I needed to be less selfish and more in tune to the world around me. That meant continuing with school and working on patching things up between me and everyone else.

            Kaoru... Aunt Tokio... even Uncle Hiko.

            "How're you holding up, Kenshin?"

            Mr. Sagara's voice startled me, and I almost dropped the game box as I reached to put it on the shelf. Sano had gotten it down before, and I did not remember seeing him have to reach quite so far to do it. The shelf was higher than it looked, and I was not being overly successful balancing the box in one hand.

            I need not have worried. Mr. Sagara was right behind me, smiling and taking the box from me to put it in its proper place. He looked down to meet my stare.

            "You okay?"

            "I guess," I shrugged.

            He was not talking about my trials with the Checkers box. That much was obvious when he wrapped his arm around my back and squeezed my shoulders lightly.

            "Come watch the countdown with us."

            He pulled me back to the couch, and I found myself sitting opposite of Yahiko, who was barely awake. The boy's eyes were bleary, and I doubt he really knew what was happening. Mr. Sagara kept him on a pretty strict sleeping schedule, and for him to be staying up hours past his bedtime without having something to keep him occupied probably was not easy.

            It was two minutes to the new year. The strangest thing about it was that the people in New York's Times Square had long since celebrated it. Eastern Time was an hour ahead of Central Time. It was creeping up on one o'clock in New York. But in Minnesota, we were finally ready for the fireworks to begin.

            Sano came back into the room, a phone to his ear. It was probably Megumi. As their last Christmas season being technically single, Megumi and Sano chose to spend their breaks with their respective families. It made sense that Sano would call her. If they were not together, at least he could talk to her.

            Sano grinned at me as he sat on the arm of the couch. Mr. Sagara immediately lifted his arm and swatted at Sano's side, frowning in disapproval. Sano stood.

            "Kenshin?"

            I looked up, but Sano was not talking to me.

            "Yeah, actually," he said, his grin broadening. That was never a good sign. "Part of the reason I called. He wants to talk to you."

            I stared at him incredulously. He smirked at me again, and I frowned. If that was Megumi, why would he tell her I wanted to talk to her? So maybe it wasn't his fiancée. Which meant--

            "No, I'm serious," he laughed. "He's sitting right next to me--_ack_!" I blinked at the sudden sound of surprise. "He's taking the phone from me. Kenshin relax, I give up! Let me say good-bye!"

            What the hell was he talking about?

            "Talk to you later, hon," he said, still chuckling. "All right, all right, Kenshin. Here. Have the phone!"

            He shoved the phone into my hand, and I looked at him, wondering if he had truly lost his mind. Covering the receiver, I glared at him.

            "Who is it?" I demanded quietly.

            "Find out," he shrugged, unrepentant.

            "Sano--"

            "You going to leave the poor sap hanging?" he wondered.

            "You--"

            He walked away from me, ignoring how I glared at his back. Sighing impatiently, I lifted the phone to my ear.

            "Hello?"

            "Kenshin?"

            My heart jumped into action, choking me momentarily. I stared blankly ahead, registering the fading lights of the New York broadcast. It was already a minute past the new year. I had missed it while focusing on Sano's bizarre conversation.

            "Hello?"

            I was silent for too long. Taking a breath, I said the first thing that came to mind.

            "Happy New Year..." it came out barely louder than a whisper. "Kaoru."

            There was a long pause. I closed my eyes, horrified that it was the first time I spoke to the girl since before Thanksgiving and all I could think of to say was 'happy new year.' Suddenly, I was uncomfortably aware of Mr. Sagara's arm, heavy over my shoulders in a fatherly manner. Pulling away, I stood and walked out of the room. Already, I felt the lump forming in my throat, and if I cried, I did not want anyone else to see it. Not even Sano.

            "Kaoru?" I asked hopefully. She wouldn't hang up on me, would she? If she was going to hang up, she would have before Sano gave me the phone. So... that meant she _wanted_ to talk to me... right? No one else could answer the question for me. "Say something."

            She laughed quietly, an airy chuckle.

            "Happy New Year, Kenshin," she murmured finally. "How are you?"

            "I don't know," I found my way into the guest room and closed the door. "I'm still figuring that out. You? Are you okay?"

            She laughed again, this time the tone taking on a not-so-happy edge. It was rather unpleasant, and I winced.

            "Hardly seems appropriate for _you_ to be asking _me_ that," she said finally. "I wasn't the one who got shot."

            "N-no," I agreed uneasily. She sounded... tired. There was nothing else to describe it. It was not anger or even sadness--just exhaustion.

            "You had no idea it was me on the phone, did you?" I winced again.

            "No."

            She sighed, a buzz of wind in my ear.

            "I should have known better than to think you'd actually call on your own."

            "I was going to call!" I responded in immediate anger. That statement had hurt. Being honest with myself, I had to admit that she was almost right. A couple weeks earlier, I would have chickened out. But I had promised. I _promised_ myself I would straighten my life out. That included my relationship with Kaoru, and the only way to fix things with her was to actually call her. So yes, I was prepared to call her. Sano merely jumped ahead of me. I was intending to call her during the daytime hours.

            "Really?" she challenged quietly. I barely heard her over the din of whatever party was happening in the background. "When?"

            "I don't know!" I snapped, still too irritated to think through my words properly. "I haven't had the chance this week. I just got in town yesterday, and now it's the holiday--"

            "What about before that?" she suggested. "Before winter break?"

            "Before?" I echoed, stalling as I struggled to find a reason. My anger dropped a notch, and it occurred to me that I _had_ left her hanging for quite some time, even when she had requested that I call her. She told me to call her--wanted to talk to me--but I never did. "I..."

            "Look, Kenshin," she broke in before I could come up with anything to say. "Forget it. It's okay--"

            "No," I interrupted, my anger rising again. I was not sure who deserved more of my anger at that moment--Kaoru or myself. Myself, of course, just for being as stupid as I was. Kaoru for being so stupid as to let me get away with being that stupid.

            "What--"

            "Don't say it's okay," I cut her off again. "I know it's not, and you need to stop saying it is."

            "Kenshin, you were through a terrible ordeal--" she started again.

            "So?" I blurted. "I _know_ what happened to me. _Everyone_ knows what happened to me. But what about everyone else? I don't know what happened between the time when I left the apartment and now. I don't know anything about my aunt. I don't know what happened to Chou's old roommate. I don't know what my uncle is doing right now. And I don't know what you've been doing for the past month. Why should we keep hashing over what happened to _me_ when the real problem seems to involve more than that?"

            I stopped, finally noticing my erratic breathing and trying to control it. It would have been so much easier to let her tell me everything was fine. With any luck, she would take me back, and life would be as it was before Enishi came back into the picture. But the problems would still be there, hanging between us until they came back tenfold and destroyed everything again. I had ignored it all once, and this was where it got me. I could not live through that again.

            "I-I..." I was choking up. Swallowing, I tried again. "I just... I don't want you to think you have to force yourself. If you want to find someone else... with less problems, and--"

            "Kenshin Himura, don't you dare finish that thought," Kaoru ordered sharply, and I shut my mouth. My vision was blurring. I really did not want to break it off with her--not permanently. There was something about her... something that drew me to her. I didn't know what it was, nor did I understand it, but I was not ready to give it up just yet. "You know I won't turn my back on someone just because they have a few problems."

            "I know!" I sniffed and wiped at my eyes uselessly. Well... it was not like there was anyone else in the room with me. I was turning into a sissy with how much I was crying lately. "I just don't want to be one of those guys who can't handle his own shit--"

            "Stuff," she corrected shakily.

            "And I'm an ass because you've got problems too, but I ignore them," I continued, ignoring her protest at my cursing. "You were trying to help me, and I blew up at you. I'm sorry." I always seemed to babble when I got emotional. I would have to work on that. But for the moment, I kept talking. All I could come up with were apologies. "I'm sorry for not calling you sooner. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you sooner. I'm sorry--"

            "Kenshin--" she protested.

            "I'm sorry," I whispered. The tears were coming again. I ignored them for the most part. "I'm so sorry."

            "Kenshin..." Kaoru was whispering too. "Kenshin, are you crying?"

            "No," I muttered automatically, pausing slightly then nodding. "Yes."

            She laughed again, a brief burst of giggles. I was not entirely certain if it was in humor.

            "It's not funny," I sniffed again, rubbing my nose.

            "I know," she sighed. "I love you, Kenshin. I still do."

            "Do you?" I asked wearily. I would probably fall asleep right after my conversation with her. "Then... would you go out with me again?"

            "When?"

            "When are you free?"

            "Whenever."

            I smiled.

            "Tomorrow?" I offered.

            "What time?"

            "We could do something in the afternoon."

            "Three?"

            "Yeah," I sighed. "Three sounds good."

            "I'll pick you up at Sanosuke's house."

            "That sounds pathetic," I mumbled.

            "You are pathetic," Kaoru retorted. "Go dry your eyes and get some sleep."

            "What are you doing?" I countered.

            "I'm playing Twister with my family."

            "While you're on the phone?" I blurted incredulously.

            "Now I am--_whoops!_" she yelped, as if to prove she was indeed playing the game. "Right hand, red circle. I'm out of hands, Kenshin. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

            I had to laugh.

            "Good night, Kaoru."

            "That is not grounds for disqualification! I have to hang up the phone!"

^_^

            I had a nightmare that night, but it was not as bad as they had been recently. It kept me up for a few minutes before my heartbeat slowed, and I was able to close my eyes again. It was probably the first time I had been able to go back to sleep after such a dream--ever.

            Surprisingly, Sano was awake by the time I got up the next morning. He was sitting at the kitchen table, nose buried in the daily comics. He glanced up and smirked when I walked into the room.

            "Look who's finally up," he chuckled. "How's Kaoru?"

            "Kaoru?" I echoed blandly, smiling when he lifted his eyebrows curiously. "Oh, Kaoru's fine. She's great."

            "So I take it your conversation went well," he murmured, folding up the paper and setting it on the table in front of him.

            "Yeah," I nodded, reaching for the comics he discarded. I sighed, absently folding the paper smaller. "We're going out today. Three o'clock."

            "All right!" he grinned boldly. "I done good?"

            "Yeah," I said again, smirking at him. He had no idea. "You done real good."

            I whacked him with the newspaper, resulting in a satisfying yelp.

            "Hey!"

            "If you ever do that to me again, I'll kick your ass, you moron!" I snapped. For good measure, I smacked the paper over his head again.

            "Ow!" he complained again. "What--_ow!_" It felt pretty good to keep whacking him like that. It was not like I was really hurting him. "What did _I_ do? _Hey!_"

            I thwapped him once more, much to the amusement of his younger brother, who was snickering over his Cheerios nearby.

            "Just because you don't have the guts to call _your_ girlfriend when you've had a fight doesn't mean I don't!" I growled. "I fully intended to call her, and now she thinks I'm a pathetic wimp because you called for me!"

            "That's probably because you were whimpering like a little girl--"

            "You were _listening?!_" I dropped the newspaper in favor of trying to strangle him bare-handed. "You worthless son-of-a--"

            "Children, children," Mr. Sagara's voice broke through our argument.

            We froze. Sano grinned triumphantly, his arm straining to hold mine back. He did have the advantage of having full use of all of his limbs while my left arm was still somewhat restricted. I yanked my hand away, and Sano relaxed, saved from asphyxiation for the moment. Snorting in irritation, I smacked him upside the head before settling down in the chair next to him. Mr. Sagara shook his head and sighed.

            "Are you two quite finished?"

            "He started it," Sano protested.

            "Lying little--"

            "Who are the adults in this room?" Mr. Sagara protested.

            Sano laughed, and I sighed, my bad humor lifting. Typical Sano. It was difficult to stay angry at him.

            "Kenshin's got a _date_ today," Sano announced. "With a _girl_."

            "What's _that_ supposed to mean?" So much for fading anger.

            "Well, you've been hanging out with Katsu an awful lot lately," Sano snickered.

            "That gay guy you hung out with in high school?" Yahiko inserted tactlessly.

            "I'm not dating Katsu!" I said quickly.

            "Kamatari?" Sano offered with a little wink.

            "Don't even _think_ about bringing him into this!" My voice had dissolved into an indignant squeak by that point. "You know full well we never--"

            "Rumor had it you two were sharing a bed--"

            "You are going to die," I announced, reaching for him again.

            "_Boys!_"

            "Your son is a nuisance!" I complained, pulling back quickly at the reproach.

            Mr. Sagara just shook his head and pulled some plates out of the cupboard.

            "Who wants pancakes?"

^_^

            McDonalds was the apparent restaurant of choice. Kaoru smiled at me over her chicken nuggets, blowing her straw cover at me. I swatted the white paper away and continued to tug at the ketchup packet in attempt to open it. Those things were impossible.

            "You know... the first place we ever went out to was a McDonalds," Kaoru informed me lightly.

            "I thought it was Chipotle," I flinched as the ketchup went squirting off to the side. Luck was with me. It merely hit the wall, which was an ugly tan color anyway. "Oops."

            "Why don't you just use the dispenser?" Kaoru offered.

            "Do you have any idea how unsanitary those things are?" I retorted.

            "As cute as it is that you remembered our first date, I was talking about the _very_ first place we ever went to together," she continued. "You walked out on me, if I remember correctly."

            "That was a long time ago," I muttered, finally getting the ketchup open without staining anymore nearby objects.

            "Way back when you thought I was a loud, overly cheerful person with no respect for others' personal space," she said boldly. I stared at her in shock.

            "You sound like you're quoting," I decided.

            "That's pretty close to what you called me," she grinned.

            "You've called me worse than that," I reminded her.

            "You deserved it," she shrugged. "Anyway, I suppose that's not very important, is it?"

            "I'd rather not dwell on past insults," I smiled. She giggled.

            "Actually, I was thinking about what you said yesterday," she said, sobering quickly.

            "I was babbling," I murmured uneasily. I offered a wary smile, hoping she would not take me too seriously. The last thing I wanted was for her to get overly sympathetic on me.

            "I know," she nodded. "But even so... have you given any thought to actually finding out about all this stuff you missed out on?"

            "What do you mean?" She was scheming. I was not sure I liked it.

            "Have you considered _talking_ to these people?" she asked, her voice lowering until it was barely louder than a whisper. I leaned forward slightly to hear her, frowning when the words sank in.

            "I assume you're talking about my aunt," I predicted. "I intend to do that very soon--"

            "Not just your relatives, Kenshin," Kaoru shook her head, voice still soft.

            The ketchup splattered over the napkin on my tray suddenly looked extremely unappetizing. I picked up another napkin and dropped it over the worst of the splotch, willing my stomach to settle. It was startling the kind of reaction the mere mention of it provoked. More than likely, it would not have been so bad had I not been staring at that red mess of ketchup when Kaoru mentioned it. Whatever the cause, I had to close my eyes against the sudden flare of anxiety that swept through me, my breath hitching such that it made a choking sound in my throat.

            "Kenshin..." Kaoru murmured. Something touched my face, and I flinched back automatically. It was just Kaoru's fingers, though, and that realization brought a flush of warmth to my face.

            "Sorry," I whispered. "But... but what you're saying..."

            "I don't think it would be a bad thing." She touched my face again, and I looked at her warily. "It could help increase your understanding of the situation. I got the impression you really don't know what happened."

            She made sense. I hated it, but she had a very good point. The only problem was: did I have the strength to do it?

            "Come on," she smiled, pulling her hands away abruptly. "I want to give you your Christmas present."

            Uh oh. That reminded me. I had a gift for her as well. It was something I purchased months back, and it was already wrapped and tucked away for just this past holiday. There was one _tiny_ problem with that, though. I stashed that particular gift in the back of my closet--in my room at Uncle Hiko's house.

^_^

            She took me on a shopping spree. The gift was more likely for her amusement than anything else, but I got a couple sweaters and a pair of pants out of the deal. Apparently, Kaoru wanted to get me a new jacket, but I had already been out with Uncle Hiko to replace my old one, and thus I did not need it. We also stopped at an accessories shop, where she bought several hair 'doodads' for herself. She attempted to convince me to pierce my ear, but I dragged her out of the store before she could force me into the chair where they would do it.

            She dropped me off at Sano's house a little after eight. Sano caught sight of her before she could turn to leave and invited her to stay for awhile. She left briefly to move her car to a place on the road where she could legally park before returning to join us in the living room.

            "Hello, Kenshin. Kaoru," Mr. Sagara smiled at us when we walked into the room.

            "Hi, Mr. Sagara," Kaoru called. "Nice to see you again."

            It made me wonder when she had ever met him. I asked as much, only to receive an answer I could have done without hearing.

            "We met when you were in the hospital," Mr. Sagara said easily.

            That had awkward silence written all over it. Best then, I figured, to push past it as quickly as possible. Smiling, I nodded.

            "Any meeting works," I said. I caught sight of the game board on the floor. "What are you playing?"

            "Monopoly," Yahiko spoke up, grinning boldly. "I always win."

            "Do you?" Kaoru grinned. "We'll see about that. Come on, Kenshin. Let's show this kid who the winners are."

            The last time I had played this game, I was the first one to go bankrupt. Even so, it was a nice way to spend the evening. We crowded around the board, passing out pieces and brightly colored money.

            We quickly discovered that Kaoru and Yahiko were not compatible. A muttered insult about Kaoru's looks was all it took before they were in each others' faces and snapping off juvenile retorts.

            "Come on, Quasimodo! Roll the dice!" Yahiko's latest insult involved the hunchback of Notre Dame. Kaoru growled beside me, and I had to grab her wrist lest she pop the boy one.

            That was one of those little taboos most guys learned early on in life never to defy. One simply does not tell a girl she's ugly. Now, Kaoru was not supermodel material, but she was far from ugly. She was very pretty even, in the girl-next-door kind of way. I never told her _that_ either. 'You look nice, Kaoru' or 'wow, I think I should go out and bay at the moon' were fine comments, but 'gee, Kaoru, you're kind of so-so in the looks department' was a definite no-no. I had gotten enough dirty looks from Tomoe when I was younger that I had that one down pat.

            "Hah! Boardwalk!" Kaoru grinned triumphantly when she landed on the coveted space. "Eat that, brat!"

            It seemed inappropriate to be calling Yahiko names while his father was sitting right next to us, but Mr. Sagara seemed to be having no problems with the exchange. In fact, he seemed to be enjoying it, if his hidden smile and shaking shoulders were any indication.

            Again, I lost rather quickly. I could manage my money very well in the real world, but for some reason the luck of the dice was rarely with me in these games. Twice landing on Kaoru's Boardwalk (with a hotel on it), and I was out. Mr. Sagara gave up soon after, claiming old age and retreating to his room.

            It was a nice way to spend the evening, even if I was trounced well before the game ended. Kaoru and Yahiko kept snapping at each other, which amused Sano to no end. I took up post behind Kaoru, brushing her hair at her request. My arm got tired quickly, but she obviously enjoyed it, so I tolerated the soreness and kept brushing.

^_^

            The place had as much security as the average US airport--maybe more. I had to sign in, go through a metal detector, _and_ get patted down. Kaoru did as well, but she was waiting out in the main lobby for me. She had a book along in case I took very long. Already, they had told me I had an hour time limit. It would be a miracle if I lasted an hour.

            There were two types of visits, and I had considered both. The first type of visit was the _Contact_ visit. That meant it would be just the two of us, alone in a room, nothing between us. The security was high, though, and in all probability, we would be monitored. Nothing could possibly happen. Kaoru assured me it would be safe. We could have a guard in the room if I wished it.*

            The other type was the _Non-Contact_ visit. Given the choice, I jumped at this one. There was less privacy, but there was also a clear, shatterproof glass barrier between us. Made a person feel a little more safe.

            So there I sat one Wednesday afternoon, wondering what I was doing. Kaoru had not talked me into this. In fact, I had been the one to push through the visitor application process not to mention calling to make the appointment. Had I been determined _not_ to do this, no one would have forced it. Even Uncle Hiko was uncertain about the idea. He was painfully obvious about it, reminding me that nothing I said or did would change anything. He made various comments about not wanting to pay more psychiatrist bills than he already had to (not that I went to many appointments), and questioned me to be certain I was still taking that antidepressant. I knew better than to drop it, especially after that episode in Colorado, and I flat out told him to stop bugging me about it. Uncle Hiko could not have cared less about my sensitivity to the medication issue.

            He looked much the same when the guard led him into the visiting room. His hair was a little longer, his face coarse with the stubble that came with not having shaved in a little under a week. He had little difficulty spotting me, but that was not surprising. As much as I wished it were otherwise, I stood out almost everywhere I went.

            I was not sure what I expected, but that solemn stare was not it. A smirk, maybe, or a scowl... anger, amusement. Certainly, I did not understand that calm, questioning gaze.

            My own feelings were odd. Before I came, I was apprehensive. Really, I was terrified. What kind of idiot was I that I went to visit the man who killed my cousin? The mere thought of him or any other person from that day caused my heartbeat to accelerate. Truth be told, I was still afraid. I was afraid of Enishi, Mike, and even Kevin--mostly Kevin. After all, Kevin was still alive. I was afraid that the fear would never fade. I hated the thought that I might live my life in constant fear of people I did not know--of tall men with dark hair and dark eyes. It was stupid, and I did not know how else I was supposed to conquer the terror. Sitting in a plush office with a shrink was not going to cut it.

            At that moment, sitting across from Kevin, staring at him through the slightly reflective glass, I felt mostly numb. There was this slight tingling, the barely noticeable quickening of my breath, but overall, I was calm. In here, at least, he could not hurt me.

            I picked up the phone, watching as he did the same. My voice was slow to come to me, and he spoke first.

            "You're the last person I expected to see."

            His voice was different. It was softer and less... something. There was a dark quality before, a calculating hardness, that was missing. He just sounded weary. Acceptant. It was easier to respond to that than the taunting coldness I was expecting.

            "I have a few things I need to clear up," I replied quietly.

            "You want to know why I did what I did," he predicted, and I shook my head.

            "I don't care why you did it," I told him. He lifted his eyebrows, surprised by my response. I shook my head again. "I just want to know _what_ you did."

            He frowned.

            "Kid, I did a lot of stuff. You're talking about my conviction, then it's murder of the first degree. Accessory to murder and attempted murder," he said it so easily, as if it did not bother him that he had been convicted of these crimes. Maybe it didn't. "Handling of illegal drugs, embezzlement, and unpaid parking tickets."

            I frowned, not appreciating his humor. The timing was a little off if he was looking for a laugh.

            "Was that a joke?" I asked.

            "No," he sighed. "Damned tickets were well into the hundreds of dollars range. Of course, those didn't put me in prison. The lawyers just thought it would be clever to add those to the charge."

            "It's not."

            "Agreed," he shrugged. His eyes narrowed uncertainly. "Ask your question, kid. I know I didn't give you the answer you wanted."

            I nodded, pausing as I collected my thoughts and my courage. Letting my breath out slowly, I looked at him again.

            "You said the guy Enishi hired those years back..." I started.

            "Alive, I said," Kevin nodded, catching the question immediately. He must have seen something on my face, some sort of accusation, because he smiled suddenly, laughing. "Not me, kid. Enishi would have known if it was me."

            "Not you..." I did not care for that answer. That meant the guy who actually attacked me was still out there somewhere.

            "Do you _want_ to know the real story, kid?" Kevin asked bluntly.

            The frankness of his question startled me. I honestly had not expected him to be so open with the information. Stunned, I just nodded, finally voicing a soft, "Yeah." He looked at me skeptically, then shrugged and leaned forward on the table, casually cradling the phone against his ear with one raised hand.

            "All right," he sighed. "Enishi was a runaway. You know that, right?"

            "I just figured he was an orphan," I shook my head, "who my aunt adopted."

            "Well, he was a runaway," Kevin said again. "I don't know what happened to his original family, or if they even cared, but that's what happened. The kid got into trouble immediately--small time stuff, like shoplifting and pickpocketing."

            I knew the pickpocket bit. After all, it had been Enishi who taught me to steal like that.

            "He was a tough little shit," Kevin continued. "Drove me nuts. I hated him."

            "Why'd you stay with him, then?" I asked, even as I saw an answer to my own question. How many times had I returned to Enishi, though I both feared and hated him? Though he could not make people like him, he could make them _need_ him.

            "Why indeed?" Kevin smiled faintly. "Because he was good, kid. Better than good. He was the best. No one else could take a situation and make it work like he did. He knew every escape, every button to push. I needed a guy like that on my team."

            "You were following him," I protested.

            "A guy that good is going to want to climb up the so-called corporate ladder," Kevin lifted one shoulder in an awkward shrug. "I let him take it. You're jumping ahead of me, kid."

            "Why did you kill him?" I asked. I did not care if I was keeping in time with his story or not.

            "I thought you didn't care why," Kevin's voice dipped slightly, mocking me. It took more effort than it should have not to flinch, but I managed.

            "Call it curiosity," I murmured. He grinned.

            "Well, your cousin had it coming," he said boldly.

            "That's not a reason," I hissed angrily. He was making fun of me, and I was not amused.

            His smile dropped away like it had never been, the change so abrupt it was jarring. He gazed at me coolly, one eyebrow lifted, slightly mocking but no worse than before.

            "Why does anyone kill someone, kid?" he challenged. "Insanity? Self-defense? An accident? It might be called protective measures. I killed him before he could shoot _you_."

            "But he did--"

            "Shoot you, yes," Kevin interrupted. "His hand dropped enough that when the gun went off, it got your shoulder instead of your head. You were damned lucky. How is the shoulder anyway?"

            "It's fine," I replied immediately. He was not going to draw me into a trivial conversation. "You didn't answer my question."

            "You didn't like that answer," he snorted. "Fine, kid. Enough nonsense. Enishi was insane, you know. That alone was reason enough to do it."

            I held my tongue, waiting for him to finish. Fortunately, he did not disappoint me.

            "It was just business, kid," Kevin shrugged. "He was starting to get in the way. I had money stockpiled up, but I couldn't get it with him around. Maybe, I would have left him alone, but he had a problem that held him back, kept him rooted here. He wouldn't move if I demanded it of him."

            "Problem?" I echoed. This was new. Had there been more to this than flat out psychosis?

            "He was obsessed with _you_, kid," Kevin scowled. "After all this, and you still haven't figured that out?"

            The harsh words startled me, and I was unable to stop the flinch that time. I heard my own breathing, ragged through the phone, and I squeezed my eyes shut, too anxious to be embarrassed.

            "I never knew," I muttered. "He was strange... scary. I didn't understand him."

            "He couldn't get you either, it seemed," Kevin said, and I winced again at his wording.

            Leaning forward against my hand, I took a shuddering breath and looked up at Kevin again. He was watching me calmly, no hint of satisfaction or amusement on his face. I had to leave. This was going far enough.

            "Not so fast, kid," his voice made me pause. "We haven't covered the stuff you really want to hear."

            "I don't want to hear anymore from you," I said tersely. Unthinking, I found myself quoting my uncle. "Nothing said here will change anything. I can't change what happened to me, and your sentence is already determined. It's done."

            "Bullshit," Kevin snapped.

            I jerked, my hand tightening around the phone instinctively. He could not hurt me through this barrier. He could not reach me. I had to repeat this to myself, silently of course. I could hang up the phone whenever I wanted.

            The phone remained by my ear, as if some invisible force held it there, and I could not put it down. Shocked, I just stared at him, at the man glaring at me through the glass.

            "You want to know what I think?" he said, voice low but filled with an energy that held me fascinated.

            "Not really." My own voice was low and strangled.

            "I think you're still scared shitless," he said, ignoring my response. "Scared of two dead men and a man trapped in prison for the next fifteen years at least. More, if I'm not good."

            "But that other guy--" It was out of my mouth before I could stop it. That was, without a doubt, the most pathetic I had ever been. I knew it. I felt it. I could not stand it.

            "Might as well be dead, kid," Kevin stated darkly. "The guy's name is--no, it doesn't matter what the guy's name is. You really want to know, you can probably find it in old police records. But here's the deal, kid. He's dying."

            "Dying...?" I echoed uneasily.

            "Wasn't long ago, actually," Kevin glanced to the side as if afraid someone would hear him. I doubted that very much. After all, if he was worried about that, he would have considered it long before this. "Got shot in a robbery. Before you ask--yes, he was the one doing the robbing. He was shot by some cop, but it didn't kill him."

            "But it is," I guessed, quiet with uncertainty.

            "With any luck, his family will make the choice to pull the plug on him," Kevin shrugged. "Even if he could live without the machines, he's a vegetable. He'll never open his eyes again."

            I stared at Kevin for awhile after he finished his explanation. It occurred to me that while I had not known what to expect with him, he was probably wondering at my presence. Then again, maybe not. Maybe he did not care one bit about what I did. And in the end, with everything he had told me, Uncle Hiko was right. It did not change anything.

            "Is that all you came to find out?" Kevin spoke first.

            "No," I glanced down. My hand was clenched into a fist in my lap, my tension level running high. I forced my fingers to unfurl, relaxing my arm and leaning back in my chair. Sighing quietly, I wondered if this had been a wasted trip. "Thank you... Kevin."

            "Hey, I don't have anything better to do," he smirked.

            "Not for talking to me," I glanced at him, forcing a small smile. "Thank you for saving me."

            He blinked, suddenly looking very uncomfortable.

            "Yeah, well..."

            The smile was not so difficult anymore. It might have even looked real. I _was_ sincere.

            "You okay here?"

            "Are you mocking me, kid?" he asked warily.

            "No," I shook my head slightly to the negative. "I know you'd rather be on the beach in Mexico, but are you okay here?"

            "I could have found some better accommodations," he said cautiously.

            "I'm not sorry you're here, Kevin," I said finally, smile fading to seriousness. "No matter how grateful I am that I'm still alive, I'm glad you're in jail."

            "Prison," he muttered, still staring at me like I had just recited love sonnets to him.

            "I'm going back to school," I told him. "I'm going to finish my degree and pretend none of this ever happened."

            "Good luck," Kevin snorted, but it was not as confident as he had sounded a few minutes ago. "You serious, kid? You're okay?"

            "No," I smiled again, feeling much better than I had since I had gotten this crazy idea to come see Kevin. "No, but I'm going to be. I won't have it any other way."

            He stared at me for a few seconds, his lips quirking slightly. Unlike his apparent attitude, I was confident. As soon as I said it, I knew I could do it. It was like when I was a kid, and someone told me I could not climb the tree behind our house because it was too big. I fell out of that tree when I tried to get down, breaking my arm in the process, but I _did_ climb it.

            This was the exact same feeling--this determination. And it felt good.

            "I believe you," Kevin said. He was smiling. "That's good, kid. I'd hate to see you end up in here."

            I smiled, inexplicably pleased with his response.

            "I have to go, Kevin," I told him. We had been sitting there for forty minutes already. It was far longer than I ever thought I would last.

            "Sure," he kept smiling.

            "Thank you," I said again.

            "Anytime, kid."

            Nodding once, I set the phone down and pushed my chair back. I did not bring anything into the room with me, so I just pushed the chair under the table ledge and turned to leave.

            A light tap on the glass behind me made me turn. Obviously, it was Kevin. He was serious again. I did not think he would have anything else to say to me, but I leaned over and picked up the phone anyway.

            "I want you to do something, kid," he said.

            "What's that?" I wondered, curious as to what he would say.

            "If you're going to do all you said you would, I want you to do it big," he finished.

            "Big?" I echoed, confused.

            "Enishi thought you could do anything," Kevin smirked. "He always said you would be better than he was someday. Better at everything. I think he was right."

            "Do you," I murmured.

            "You're going to find more of us out there, kid," he said calmly. "More people like your cousin, more people like me. Out to screw you."

            I startled at his wording. It was crude and struck close to home.

            "A word of advice," he continued. "As scary as we are, we're only human. And if you're as good as Enishi said you are, you'll be able to outsmart us every time. I guarantee it."

            "Giving me hints how to beat you when you're out again?" I asked with an uncertain smile.

            "I already told you, kid," Kevin grinned. "I never want to see you again."

            "I'll make a point of never visiting you again," I assured him.

            He burst out laughing, and I smiled again, hanging up the phone. Nodding at him, I turned and walked out of the room.

^_^

*This may not be true. There are only a few details here of which I am not certain (in effect, making it up).

^_^

**Notes**: Kenshin's visit to the prison will be elaborated only slightly in the next chapter, so I'll give basic details now. I placed Kevin in MCF-Oak Park Heights. This is in Stillwater, MN and is an all-male correctional facility. While I'm not certain how long the application process is to visit someone, let's just assume that several weeks have passed between Christmas and Kenshin's visit.

Ah… and a small poll, before you move on to the omake:

Someone pointed out that my ^_^ time breaks detract from the seriousness of the story. Please give your opinion on this matter. If this is truly a distracting thing, I will consider altering it. Thank you. ~Fitz

Random Omake: Mediocre potty humor 

**Kamatari**: Go.

**Kenshin**: Now? Right here?

**Kamatari**: We're by a rest stop.

**Kenshin**: You usually go into the bathroom at the rest stop!

**Kamatari**: Whatever floats your boat.

**Kenshin**: ...

Random Omake: Now onto the sex jokes… 

**Sano**: You. Me. Sleep. Now.

**Kenshin**: What about Megumi? She won't like that.

**Sano**: ...

Hiya, reviewers! Um… lots here. I tried to keep them short.

**SVZ**: Kamatari is not original; he appears in the Kyoto arc. *blink* And that was far from yaoi. It was not intended to be romantic in any way, shape, or form.

**haku baikou**: Glad I could make you think.

**Gundam Girl**: Uh… can't see Kamatari/Yumi either. And I like Yumi. She's cool.

**supernaturalove**: Geez, you're asking me to get rid of those breaks? I guess I've started to ignore them. I don't even register the face anymore. *whine* It's my trademark break!

**Mystical Angel**: Kamatari's loving his growing list of fans.

**marstanuki**: Ahhh… threats. Well, fortunately for me, I don't care. Unfortunately for you, I guess. Well… I don't think I'll disappoint you too much in any case.

**Hana Himura**: *sigh* I'm in the stone age of television.

**Calger459**: Similar reactions from a lot of people, I found.

**Fuuko-san**: Well, people do odd things under stress, I suppose. Other than that, I'm not sure what to say.

**Kyoji Mikamora**: I like those four louts, so no. They won't die.

**E-san**: Wow. Um, this chapter should have answered most of those questions.

**Akai Kitsune**: I get a lot of 'poor Kenshin' and 'geez, Kenshin's an idiot' comments, actually. Have fun over the summer.

**Iram**: I loved reading your review. Thank you.

**Chiki**: I have a Good Luck Bear. *grin* Kamatari agrees with your friend.

**Minami-chan**: Nice that someone could find some humor in things. I thought my little jokes were mostly unnoticed.

**yuki**: Last chapter was late because I was very busy. Some responsibilities are more important than posting a fanfiction, unfortunately.

**C-Chan**: Ebenezer Scrooge is smirking and declaring he has found an equal.

**LadyChrisA**: *hands LadyChrisA a crowbar and some muscle-soothing cream* Sheesh. I don't think the story's worth that.

**Illustrious Sorrow**: Three cheers for Minnesota. New York not included, we've got some of the greatest fine arts theatres around.

**mvdiva**: Oh, Trigun quote. Kamatari's got a list now. *points to Kamatari's fans list*

**Zeit**: *giggling madly at your review* No fling, but I like the thought.

**genocide ex-sync*in**: Glad you like. I hope you keep liking it.

**omochi**: I'm getting a little lighter now. Some darkness, but mostly it's on the up slope.

**sawdust monster**: Another comment about Kaoru that I'm cracking up over!

**meant2Bmatched**: I will not discuss sappy love stories at the risk of sounding like a coldhearted jerk. I'm glad you liked the chapter.

**Gochan**: Thank you for your suggestions on Moments in Time. I already had the Kaoru chapter planned, but I did neglect Sano. I'm sorry, Sano. I'll write you a chapter.

**AaarikaaA**: Curse? That's a… different reaction.

**futagoakuma-tenshi01**: I adore Fitz because of his faults, but the Fool is definitely my favorite. I find it odd that I am apologizing for bring Kaoru back into the picture.

**MinaXP**: As much as I am amused and pleased by your review, I am somewhat saddened because I am not sending this story in the direction you're anticipating.

**Imbrium Iridum**: I'm tempted to write a little shounen ai thing with Kenshin and Kamatari now, but I don't think it would ever work except in this story. *contemplates side story*

**kerwininuyasha**: Thank you. I'm glad you liked the other stories as well.

**digital*girl**: Your comment about Kaoru being tired struck me as I read it. Not two days before reading your review, I started writing the conversation with Kaoru, and that was the exact word I chose to use. Bravo for reading my mind.

**Neko Oni**: Depressed? Not really. I was actually inspired by some recent disruptions in my own family. It's good I'm not depressed, I suppose. I tend to write poorly when I am.


	36. Future possibilities

_Disclaimer_: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin

_Notes_: I am currently hooked on The Rocky Horror Show. (The play, not the movie.) "Time Warp" has been running through my head since last Friday.

Okay, real notes—this chapter is much shorter than what you're used to, the reason being the leap in time that will take place between this chapter and the next. And if you're looking for an excuse for why I took so long to update… I really have none. It was a lapse, a loss of interest, a case of "My Life" writer's block, whatever you may call it. So many apologies, and here's to hoping you all haven't forgotten about me.

_Warnings_: Sap. A ton of sap. In fact, it's so sappy that you might just get stuck in it. 

My Life

            Things settled into a more comfortable routine. Everyone went back to their own place of residence when classes started again. I was still in the dorm, sharing with Chou, but for some reason it did not bother me as much. Kaoru was back in her apartment with Misao and Omasu. I discovered they had found a fourth roommate. Apparently, she was one of Omasu's friends, and while she was not a student at the university, she worked nearby and needed a cheap place to live until she was financially stable. It was just as well that they had another girl to share the place with.

            Sano was glad to have Megumi back. I was glad she was back just because he got so restless when she was not within easy reach. Like any guy, he was content to be with the boys for so long before the desire to see his girl kicked in, and he got shifty. He tried to hide it, but I could see it in the way he was up early in the mornings and complaining of boredom before afternoon, even though Yahiko and I were there and willing to engage in mind-numbing activities to keep ourselves occupied as well.

            Kamatari went back to Harvard after an emotional farewell. That is, he sobbed on my shoulder for awhile, hugged Chou mercilessly, and even kissed Kaoru's cheek before he left for his boarding gate. Kaoru was not really his friend, and it looked like she was uncomfortable with the attention. Of course, the only reason she was there was because she was taking me to her family's dojo that afternoon.

            That was another thing that worked nicely. I picked up kenjutsu* again, training under Mr. Kamiya--_Sensei_ as he had me call him in class--regularly. My shoulder healed to the point where I could use it as I always had. Mr. Kamiya assured me that the practice would strengthen my shoulder and arm muscles as well, which was nice. I made it a point to ask him to teach me to take multiple opponents, which had been my downfall before. He agreed, but promptly disappointed me by telling me I would have to advance beyond my present level of skill before he could. I could not win them all.

            As if I did not have enough to do, I got myself a job. I still had my job at the copy center, but one of the aids in the Writing Center stopped me one afternoon while I was doing some research and put an application in my hand. Usually being a tutor in the any of the study help centers was reserved for seniors, but apparently they would allow a few juniors into the fold. I guess it paid to make yourself known. I was in the Writing Center all the time, only with the tutor job I got paid for it. For a couple hours three times a week I would go down there and sit around until someone showed up asking for help. It was dull at times, but I liked the job. It got me to thinking about some things.

(I hate to insert notes in the middle of the story, but that last line won't make sense otherwise. Don't take the next line literally. It's a new time, new place, but on the same line of thinking, so therefore not warranting the ^_^ break. Okay, onward once more.)

            My advisor thought it was a great idea. My counselor was more cautious. I went with my college advisor's suggestion and signed up for teaching courses over the summer. To hell with the counselor anyway. If after all this I still can't handle life, then maybe I should have died before. Because hiding in a hole never made me happy.

            I told Kaoru what I was planning one Friday evening. We both had Fridays open, so we made it 'our day.' Whether it be dinner and a movie or playing cards with Misao and Aoshi in their apartment, we would always be doing something. That night we were grocery shopping, of all things. There was a small store two blocks from Kaoru's apartment, and we walked rather than drove.

            "A teacher? Seriously?" Kaoru blurted when I told her.

            "I know the market for it isn't that great," I shrugged uneasily. "But it feels right, you know?"

            "No, I think it's great!" Kaoru giggled and tossed me a box of macaroni which then went into the cart. "You and a bunch of little kids!"

            "I don't know about little kids," I objected immediately. "Maybe middle school. Or high school. Hell, I could get a Ph.D. and teach at a university."

            "Those are some high goals, Kenshin," Kaoru winked. "Think the U will take you on your grades?"

            Ouch. I had to admit she had a point. I had done well for the most part, but my GPA wasn't what it should be if I was going to apply for the master's program.

            "Maybe just high school then," I allowed. "I think I would go nuts teaching a bunch of toddlers every day."

            "Well I think it's great," she said again. "Who would have guessed our antisocial boy would want to be a teacher?"

            "I'm not antisocial!"

            "You were when we met last year," Kaoru grinned and dropped some soup cans into the cart. "Anyway, change of subject."

            "Fire away."

            "I know it's barely midterms now, but it won't be long until summer hits," she started. "And with Sanosuke and Megumi getting married in May, there's still some open time."

            "Not completely open," I reminded her. "I'm taking two classes."

            "Right, but those don't start until June," she retorted. "Don't interrupt, you little twit."

            "Sorry, sorry," I held up my hands in surrender and followed her down the aisle. "You were saying?"

            "I've got a couple of ticket vouchers," she slanted a shrewd stare at me. "If you're up for a trip to the west coast."

            Whoa. Granted that was not completely out of the blue. Since we had started dating again, just over two months ago, we had settled into a more comfortable relationship. I was starting to not mind getting cuddly in the evenings, and Kaoru, I discovered, was one hell of a kisser. But of course that gets into details I don't think I'll share.

            "I always wanted to try my hand at surfing."

            "Really?" Kaoru squealed and flung her arms around my neck, giggling madly. "Finally! I thought we'd never get to go!"

            "I'm not _that_ unreliable," I complained, but we were both grinning. She kissed my cheek and let go, grabbing the cart and shoving it down to the frozen food section.

            "Only unpredictable," she retorted. "And not always in a good way."

            "Hey!" That was just getting insulting. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

            "Don't be so touchy, Kenshin," she giggled again. "You know I love you for all your faults."

            "Well my faults and I are glad for it, but do you have to point them out all the time?" I grabbed some ice cream off the shelf and dropped it into her cart despite her protesting wave. I don't follow by any Atkins dieting, and for her comments, she owed me some sweet food. "They don't like the attention."

            Kaoru giggled again and grabbed some chocolate syrup off the shelf.

^_^

            It was one of those unplanned moments that go so much better than the ones you work out in your head. I went out with Kaoru that night—we went to the Twins opener, if that's romantic enough—and afterwards we went to have dessert in a not-so-local Baker Square. She ate half of my pie, the little pig, but I figured I could survive without eating an entire piece of French Silk pie. Being the gentleman I am, I paid for it (after all, her family paid for the Twins tickets) and left a pathetic tip on the table. I bet the wait staff hated when people came in just for dessert.

            We were sitting in the car when, on the ridiculous excuse of there being some whipped cream left on her lip, I kissed Kaoru. She was smiling, apparently finding my actions amusing. Better smiling than frowning, I supposed. Being as neither of us find the car a particularly comfortable place to make out, we pulled away sooner rather than later. I didn't much care if we were kissing or not anyway. Kaoru's fingers were linked through mine, and her hand on my cheek felt pretty good.

            "Just a bit of cream, Kenshin?" she teased softly.

            "Next time I'll tackle you without warning and wipe it with a napkin," I said. She laughed and kissed me again.

            "Goof," she whispered. "But I love you anyway."

            "I love you too, Kaoru," I replied, leaning in again. But she pulled back before I could reach her. That, of course, was unexpected, so I drew back as well. Maybe she had not realized my intentions, or she had gotten caught on something—precisely the reason I hated using the car for any intimate moments.

            She was staring at me, her eyes wide and unreadable. I checked myself. Was I drooling? No… my face was clean. So I had to ask.

            "What's wrong?"

            "N-nothing!" she said too quickly. "Nothing!" She shook her head, and in the dim parking lot lights I caught sight of the wet gleam on her cheeks.

            "What's wrong?" I demanded again, wiping at her face. She caught my hand and held it against her cheek, thoroughly confusing me when she smiled at me. As an afterthought, I added, "Why are you crying?"

            "I'm sorry," she laughed weakly, more tears hitting my hand.

            "Hey!" I tried to reclaim my hand. There was a box of tissues on the floor. If she was going to keep crying, she would need those. "Hold on, I can—"

            "Kenshin!" her laughter was stronger the next time, her hands pulling on my arms, dragging me away from my quest for Kleenex. "Kenshin, stop. I'm okay."

            Okay? But she was crying. People cried when something was wrong with them. Maybe she was sick… but no, I would have noticed if she was running a fever. When she was smiling so brightly, there was nothing I could do but wipe at her cheeks and hope she told me the problem.

            Instead, she kissed me again—once, hard against my mouth, startling me, and then again, lighter against my cheek. Then, despite the middle-seat partition between us, she wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me.

            If comfort was what she wanted, I could provide that. I cautiously held her, caught between enjoying her lips on my neck and worrying about the tears I still felt on her face. Still, she was laughing, and I wondered if I'd been had, though over what I could not possible imagine.

            "Dummy," she giggled.

            "What did I do?" She was very good at leaving me baffled. I had the feeling that as long as I was with Kaoru, I would spend the greater part of my life bumbling around like some fool.

            She laughed yet again. "That's the first time you've ever said that to me."

            "Said what?" This was making my head hurt. I tried to trace our conversation back. I was very certain I had not said anything insulting, not that she would be laughing like this over something that made her angry.

            Then, my thoughts scattered as she breathed into my ear. Goosebumps rushed over my skin. Wow, did that feel good.

            "That you love me."

            I blinked. Ohhhhhhhhh… Oh. That was easily handled. By far, it was better than if I had done some horrible thing to insult her. I was getting very tired of apologizing to Kaoru, not that I would not be willing to do it again. She put up with enough of my crap to deserve a bit of humility from me. That did not mean I liked doing it.

            "Do you mean it?"

            Pulling back, I looked into her face, surprised she would even ask.

            "Of course I mean it," I smiled. "I wouldn't say something like that and not mean it."

            "You love me?" she asked. I was beginning to understand. She was wary of it. Truly, she did not have the most reliable boyfriend around, but at least I was getting better. After so many months of lying to everyone, it was difficult to be honest. Having all of my lies thrown into the light for the world to see was as good a way as any to achieve that. Painful, but effective. I would never look back and smile on that, but even now I could understand the importance of it. Looking into Kaoru's tear-streaked face, I knew it. Enishi never had this. Thank you, I had something he never could accomplish.

            "Do you want me to say it again?" I teased.

            "Always," she grinned through her tears. I was happy to oblige.

            "I love you." Leaning forward, I hugged her again. "I love you."

            I must have said it fifty times that night. Kaoru could not get enough, and it felt strangely nice to say it. It was one of those phrases I never made a habit of using. Not since after I turned eight. Not with my parents, and not with Tomoe. Of course, after Tomoe died I never really had a reason to use it. God forbid I should ever tell Uncle Hiko I loved him. The thought of ever speaking to him like that made me shudder. But Kaoru… for Kaoru I would spout out poorly written poems professing my everlasting adoration until her face turned blue. (It would be blue for lack of oxygen caused by laughing too hard at my idiocy.) Funny how things like that could happen to people like me.

^_^

*Okay, someone once told me how to spell this, but I forgot and am too lazy to look it up again. I hope it's right.

_Notes_: The sudden jump from uneasy friendship to loving boyfriend and girlfriend may seem too quick. Though you miss out on it, there are months passing between the first part and second part.

The next chapter will be awhile yet in coming. It's not finished, but it _is_ in the works. I swear I won't disappear for months again.

Reviewers: So much time has passed that I really don't remember much of what I was thinking before, so forgive me if I don't respond. I appreciate every comment—good and bad—that I've seen. (Okay, there were a few I didn't appreciate and a few threatening emails I could have done without, but for the most part…) Thank you so very much. They help me grow as a writer so I can go and write something better. (The latest story I also think is better. Go read it… please. ^_~)


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